Let me ask you a question: what’s a drawing/sketch ?
Yep, a series of lines!
And here’s another question:
“What’s a line?”, I ask my kids …
yep, a series of dots!
“What’s a dot?” … the beginning, middle & end of a line. Right?
Well, one could argue that a “DOT” has no beginning, no end… it gives us a taste of INFINITY. If you can’t comprehend this idea, maybe in the 3rd dimension, that’s alright… it is definitely INFINITE in the 4th dimension.
I love drawing ✍️ and managing the fusion of ALL kinds of lines, mostly, to get lost … to become one with … to allow the love 💕 you have WITHIN … just waiting to be expressed…
… in an image that would hopefully be able to be understood and appreciated.
To LISTEN a little BETTER.
You see, after over 4 decades of practising the ART OF FINE-LINE Drawing ✍️, I have found that –
~ it allows me☝️ to LISTEN a little BETTER to my INNER voice … and ACCEPT my CREATIVE EXPRESSION … as I realise that LISTENING 👂…. TRUE LISTENING is a ….. FORM OF ACCEPTANCE
~ it allows me to …. NOT THINK 🤔 SOMETHING UP (some untraceable goal … I’m the clouds ☁️ somewhere up there ….) but instead encourages me to …. GETTING SOMETHING DOWN … GIVING SOMETHING
~ it reminds me that I am NOT DOING…. I AM GETTING…. I AM GIVING (hopefully, to an appreciative audience)
~ it reminds me that I AM ENGAGED IN “LISTENING “ … & that I have (still) much to learn and …. MASTER
~ it reinforces that I am not the CREATOR… I AM THE CONDUIT through which this Energy force .. this ESSENCE OF LIFE… this endless love 💕 … is TRANSMUTED.. into what eventually becomes an IMAGE… that hopefully RESONATES with the audience
Here’s are a number of picture of dots, lines and shades chaotically fused together into a somewhat orderly structure.
SIMPLICITY enfolds COMPLEXITY
One positive result of my fine-line work is that I CREATE or BRING TO LIFE … images that hopefully RESONATE with the heart is at least one viewer.
Many times, I don’t know what I will produce …. As I fuse and bring ORDER to the CHAOTIC lines …. The Art or image I produce is given life … and emerges on to the pages and fundamentally comes about because drawling lines allows me to TUNE IN to what is already there
Feeling the movement of my hand as I caress the ink pen to draw lines in the page …. gives me the strong belief of the POSSIBILITY that the UNIVERSE is helping me with what I am doing (always) … as I become a WILLING SON of GOD and accept his offer of help and guidance in all that I do.
Drawing ✍️ lines HUMBLES ME as it reminds me that GOD is the GREAT ARTIST 👩🎨… the GREATEST DESIGNER
You will see that for some drawings …. There is a lot of uncertainty. For example, In certain parts of the pages I began with chaos (scribbling lines & dots) & moved towards order & in other parts I started with order & transitioned to chaos (randomness).
It appears simple…
.. but Simplicity in this case, enfolds complexity (the picture communicates – symbolically, various aspects of life).
What can you see? (In my art)
Does looking at my picture in portrait reveal something different to you? What about landscape? Upside down? What images get reflected in to your conscience?
In many of my drawings ✍️, randomness is interweaved with order.
My pictures/fine-like Art, are ultimately a fusion of chaos (random lines & “many mistakes”) & layers of unbalanced order) to produce (hopefully something that is visually stimulating & pleasing).
When does a drawing have enough lines? When is it one line too much?
My question to you is: When is enough, enough (could apply with most things in life)?
⁃ fine-lines with Black fine-nib pens on white paper
⁃ the human physique by playing with Dumbells, energy inputs, processes and imagination
⁃ Lifestyle variables to DESIGN TAILORED LIFE & LIFESTYLE SOLUTIONS for individuals
⁃ Consciousness to “see” what many do not in the current & future
First and foremost, I AM AN ARTIST 👨🎨…
I may need a different mix of chaos & order … a more challenging mix of comfort & discomfort … a varying mix of stability & flow compared to more “normal “ people.
People may find it weird, but …
I see life as an very large experiment made up of many smaller experiments. I refer to these experiments as experiences.
And I Am … the Scientist at heart… with an artistic soul.
WHAT WORKS For ME.
I remind myself that I must experiment with WHAT WORKS FOR ME.
As an Artist 👨🎨, money does not validate my credibility.
As an Artist, my credibility lies WITH ME, GOD & My WORK. In other words, if I write a Blog … a poem … if I sketch ✍️ a fine-like picture of beautiful building architecture … then, I write or draw – whether it will sell or not.
As an Artist, my sense of self respect comes from my belief that I am created in the image of God, my internal reflection and from DOING THE WORK.
My work …
One fine-line-sketch -at-a-time, one set of exercise at a time, one poem at-a-time, one blog-at-a-time … one dream at-a-time. Five years working on a lifestyle proto-type, 10 years working on an entrepreneurial adventure, a lifetime pursuing a dream that takes a lifetime.
As an Artist, making money is not what drives me. I do not need to be extremely wealthy & rich but I do need to be RICHLY SUPPORTED by those who love & BELIEVE in me.
My CURIOSITY NEEDS to be fueled for my intellectual, spiritual & philosophical needs. These needs as well as my insatiable physical & emotional needs have to be continually fed to continuously EVOLVE.
I must …
Never allow these needs to be stagnant, for this will show in my work. If will show In my life. It will show In my temperament. …
… In my aura, my vitality.. my life force.
It is very important that I keep moving …. As this allows me to CREATE.
I need to CREATE to express my love for life … of life . If I fail to create, I get moody.
Nobody likes a moody – me.
In order to CREATE I must stretch the boundaries … making new laws … encouraging novel ways of looking at things … and not necessarily following the existing laws and staying within the current boundaries.
First, I must BREAK ALL THE RULES.
As an Creative Artist, I need to continually FEED and NURTURE my ARTIST CHILD… for the more I nurture this INNER CHILD, the more ADULT i am able to appear.
There is a CONNECTION between SELF-NUTURE & SELF-RESPECT.
When I allow myself to be bullied (very seldom), and somewhat allow to be forced by other peoples’ need for me to conform … to be more normal or more nice, I lose myself.
Sometimes I do. I lose my – Self.
I allow myself to succumb to the whims of the ordinary man, to be ordinary like the ordinary. Something My inner fibre of being just does not agree with.
I sabotage my CHILD ARTIST.
For when I am not creating, I am not a very nice person to be around. I am certainly not “normal” or very nice – go myself or to others. Many say I am “weird”.
So be it.
In my experience, There is a connection between self-nurture and self-respect.
Every time I create something from nothing, I feel the creativity is a spiritual journey. For me, doing the ART WORK is a SPIRITUAL PRACTISE.
To me, there is never a “finishing line” or point where I can say that “I have made it!”
It seems that when I feel I “got there” … “there” vanishes. Vanishes into thin air. Just like that . In sculpting the physique for example, I have been working towards the elusive holy grail of bodybuilding: balance & symmetry.
Haven’t found it for almost 30 years now.
Every time I create … I have a piritual journey.
I NEED to keep moving … like a Spiritual Shark 🦈… if I stop improving, I will sink to the bottom of the Ocean of life and …
MY WAY like LIFE’S WAY is not the “straight & narrow path” as the majority take … but one instead which is literally “my way”
MY WAY is a SPIRAL PATH… not the straight & narrow. My way is a spiral path because I AM an ARTIST, but more importantly, I am created in the image of God.
It is a simple and as complex as that.
As an artist, I am a traveller. In body and in spirit & imagination. I yield to my SPIRITUAL LEADING.
The Creator bestows on us the gift of creative thinking & doing. Our recognition & use of our gifts, given by God, is, in turn, our gift 💝 to God.
When you Accept this DEAL OF A LIFETIME… I believe it is the beginning of TRUE SELF-ACCEPTANCE.
Give thanks and praise the Lord.
FIRST: MOVE INTO THE BODY, HEART ❤️ & SOUL.
To move into the body, heart & soul, one must first resolve to ACCEPT that one MUST MOVE OUT OF THE HEAD/MIND.
This is not easy.
Especially in a “busy” world with a lot of external & internal noise.
I make exercise a key part of my life because I am and have been seeking a form of MOVING or MOBILE MEDITATION. The execution of well-chosen exercises allows me to practise this … what I call – moving meditation.
This meditation experience puts me squarely IN THE MOMENT… in the NOW.
If I don’t respect the weight and/or don’t focus, I will get injured. I have not gotten injured lifting weights since I began almost 30 years ago.
My goal has always been to seek BALANCE & SYMMETRY in body… which translates to balance & symmetry in mind, heart & soul.
Like I said, earlier, many of us (like me), we DO learn by doing. Exercise, for example, is often the impetus that moves us … moves us from stagnation to inspiration… from seeing problems to opportunities for find solutions … from self-pity to self-respect & living with dignity.
One of the things we learn is that – I AM Stronger … WE ARE … STRONGER THAN WE THOUGHT. From my experience, we learn to have a different worldview… we learn to look at things with a new Perspective.
And a lot of times, this different perspective is the KEY to experiencing life a little differently … a little bit better …
The question we all face today and for the rest of our lives is this : to risk or not to risk?
I believe everything we do is built on a foundation of confidence. Whether you’re a student or a master in your field comes down to your confidence in your abilities and experience and … risk to your professional reputation.
I believe that there is an inordinate level of security-mindedness in our modern-day societies. Perhaps We shouldn’t be surprised that in our post 9/11 world, the topic of of risk is a sensitive one.
Prior to the recent covid , in recent history, Scientists have regularly made headlines with warnings about such new risks as (as examples) : bird-flu pandemics and flesh-eating bacteria and old risks like category 5 hurricanes and earthquake-triggered tsunamis.
I believe we live in a world where risk -benefit analysis has become a recognised science… where “risk management “(an area I worked as a senior consultant to multinationals for almost 10 years) … is a popular college major .
It prepares more and more young professionals to work in all manner of industries
But …. here’s the thing …
No matter what safety steps we take or what security precautions we adopt, our risk of death 💀, say, is not approximately – but EXACTLY – 100 percent.
There is no margin of error in that statistic.
I spent my early childhood in a culture that encouraged risk-taking and … a sense of wonder and mystery… one that did not put more of our trust in technology. One that did not think about increasing regulations whenever something goes wrong.
No … there was a communicated emphasis on community & togetherness. There was purposeful shift towards more trust, more care and more compassion.
Three things I think the world needs more of.
My question is: in our modern-day societies, what impact does people’s abnormally elevated security-mindedness has on people’s willingness to take risks now ? That we are being taught one way (in our educational institutions) …. This is the way I remember doing when I was in year 7. There is nothing extraordinary about it … I’ve been doing that since I was in early secondary school and then we learn it again university and further education . … and in our professional careers.
Life itself is a Risky Business.
I think RISK & FEAR has become an increasingly significant word in American lexicon. If you google these 4-letter words … you’ll receive more than a billion references in less than a second.
I believe people are more sensitive to risk today than at any other time in history. So many are kit merely preoccupied with risk & fear … but I think are often downright schizophrenic about the topics.
This anxiety about risk permeates in American society and impacts it in endless ways. Good. Bad. Ugly. And sometimes ridiculous. American society dictate the world’s societies because well, America is the Super Power.
This fear mongering is everywhere and in everything… embedded deep in the psyche of modern-day citizens, many of which are unaware.
For example, It’s why we have surgeons general warnings on every pack of cigarettes. There are just so many examples of this “fear” everywhere … down to even a phrase : “fear setting”.
How did society become so intrigued by fear /risk – and so worried about it at the same time? People forget that Life itself is a risky business. We have heard many parables and/or stories … and most of us know the messages behind these stories.
It’s like the adventurer who was asked why he climbed the mountains and answered, “because it’s there!”
He took the risk. That’s the message… he just DID IT! No FEAR babee!!
So-called EXPERTS DO NOT always have the last words …
I truly believe the US and many modern societies (Europe and Australia) have cultures that has developed this intense love-hate relationship with risk/fear, in part because it’s always there.
I believe we are seeing a timely and unprecedented convergence of trends and historical & current developments that supports the contention that we (Americans and western societies) are more focused on, and aware of, the risks/fears we face today than any other society In history.
Well… simply because we can.
People can easily equip themselves (technology) to recognise, understand, catalogue, measure, compare and know more about fears/risks they face than any other society in history.
One truth I’ve learned in my experience in Risk Mamagement is that so-called “experts” (in all fields) DO NOT always have the last word on risk/fears. Sometimes they only add to people’s doubts and confusions about the uncertainties and fears/risks people face in life.
The ratings-driven nature of the media today only further distorts people’s perspectives on the risks/fears they face. As a result of people’s misperceptions, I believe people overrate and worry more than they should. Despite the mind-boggling amount of information available today…. there’s clearly a huge gap between people’s perception of some fears/risks and thee actual magnitude.
What risks /fears do people really need to worry about?
So another question is: what risks/fears do people really need to worry about?
How in the world does the average person make reasonable and wise decisions about their fears and risks they face when their perspectives on the subject is so often distorted? How does the average person decides what risks are acceptable?
Rather than worrying /reacting to every fear/risk…. what’s more important is the skill at discerning which ones you can do something about.
In other words, the wisdom to know what to worry about and the courage to find solutions to the issues and act on them.
I also believe not all fears/risks are bad.
Very important point: WISDOM is different from, and often more critical than, KNOWLEDGE.
In fact, I believe that too often, all information we’ve been given, all the risks/fears we’ve encountered and contemplate.. & all the warnings people receive from so many sources actually combine to skew people’s perceptions.
So, what hope s is that EFFECTIVE Risk Analysis and decision-making becomes MORE difficult rather than less.
So… back to my previous entry – instead of losing ourselves in all the knowledge before us and sliding into more worry, people should exercise more wisdom.
I think it was Teddy Roosevelt who once declared-
“Far better is it to dare mighty things than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much.”
I’m convinced most of the success I’ve experienced in my life so far and the majority of my personal and professional accomplishments over the years is from a practical formula I developed and used from my early childhood.
I have helped thousands overcome their fears using this formula … and
It hasn’t failed me yet.
It has never failed.
Want to know the “fail-proof” method I use? Get in touch with me.
Until next time,
Keep punching…. Don’t stop believing… most importantly , in –
God does not give individual gifts 🎁 to frustrate a marriage. No. God gives us unique gifts to ENHANCE the marriage. God does not lead two people into a marriage to see “sparks fly”, pulling a husband & wife in opposite directions.
No… God, leads them into marriage to blend and maximise their strengths, their usefulness.
Whenever this happens in my relationship with my wife, I pray to God for his help…. To give me the strength, courage & wisdom to make good decisions.
This is where our faith in God helps us during turbulent times in the marriage. There are many forces (internal and external) that work hard to tear a marriage apart.
If you believe in your marriage & what it represents is important to you, ask for God’s guidance and work hard to keep your marriage .
It was more of an invite, not a requirement. Jesus, gave his disciples a choice … he gave them the freedom to decide for themselves.
He gave them the option to say “no”
In other words, he allowed them to keep their dignity. He gave them respect. As you know, the “no” Answer is perhaps the greatest expression of self respect … the greatest expression of dignity possible.
So … as a Christian… as a believer, like I am, let me ask you some questions :
⁃ do you follow him?
⁃ are you going to follow him?
⁃ Why / why not?
Ask, Seek & Knock.
Many individuals do not like to ask questions. One reason is that they don’t want to depend on someone else. To ask, makes them feel a sense of humiliation.
Personally, I’ve been asking questions since I was a toddler, some of which certainly makes me look like a fool. My insatiable CURIOSITY gets the better of me all the time as I don’t really ask questions for answers but for better understanding.
Here’s the thing, To ask, you may run the risk of indicating:
⁃ You don’t know.
⁃ You ran out.
⁃ You don’t understand.
⁃ You’re not prepared.
⁃ You need more information.
⁃ You came up short.
⁃ You can’t find it.
⁃ You failed.
⁃ You’re not sure.
As Christians, we should never be afraid or shamed of asking … of asking questions. Not asking questions, undermines our need for God.
Jesus says we should ask … we should knock … we should seek. And why?
Because asking puts us back in alignment with God. It assumes a “two-way relationship “… a NEED-Relationship with him. You could say a “hand-to-mouth” spiritual existence.
We live in modern Societies that tries to satisfy every desire … with instant gratification. Over time, this constant rush to fill every felt need of the individual … rips … steals the soul of a person.
We eventually get our soul back but … at a price.
“And what is this price?” You may ask
I will answer that question with a question: What do you think is the “price” you pay … for losing your soul?
All human behaviour is fundamentally, REACTIONARY.
We are ALWAYS Reacting to something or someone. Many businesses thrive on this Reaction and the predictive futures of this reaction.
We stop reacting when we are dead. Have you observed people who have “stopped”. They’re like walking zombies … they effectively live like they were dead!
Not healthy. Not recommended.
So, I believe ALL human thinking is, in a way, reactionary.
And we, as individuals, as communities, as nations … have to react to accepted ideas propagated by those who control communication platforms.
Here’s one accepted idea: PROGRESS.
What does that mean?
You hear it regularly thrown about by large corporations as they exploit the resources of developing and poorer nations. As they force archaic working policies on our fellow civil citizens. And their request: that we just stand by idly and accept.
Without a voice. Without a reaction.
Progress in technology … progress in pollution… progress in pornography … progress in freedom of speech… progress in behaviour … and so forth… are not All that good.
Well, because the HUMAN NATURE does not change. The term “progress” is a human invention. There is no evolution in the human character and … in the human mind. Human Relationships still take time to form.
Does that mean that you need to stop the change?
Change, in itself, is not necessarily good. Just like stability. Change can be good or bad, just like stability can be good or bad.
Everything in our lives … our human life … every problem is a question of Quality and not quantity.
And yet, the progress has technology and importance of numbers and logic is of paramount importance. This is a very distorted approach to viewing progress as it primarily uses a very deductive and logical framework. At the expense of intuition, of matters of the heart. Of feelings.
All for the sake of Progress.
As part of a healthy inclusive discussion, we should be encouraged to listen to all sides of anything or anyone claiming that something should be adopted.
The pros and cons of the idea or creation or technology should be debated and “thrashed out” before it is implemented.
This should be a normal part of any healthy discussion.
Over the years I have listened to many individuals. Listened to their stories.
Over the years I think I have had in excess of twenty thousand conversations with people of all ages. From teens to ninety-year olds.
Over the years I have had many coaching conversations. In these coaching conversations, I have helped increase individuals awareness of how their perception of events in their lives either propel them forward or hold them back.
I have listened to others and the way in which the stories they tell ourselves have the power to hold us back or propel us forward.
As an example …
The bottom line is that I wouldn’t be the person I am today if my hearing hadn’t been terrible when I was young. Neither would you.
This is why taking the time to properly frame our narratives and the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves can be so critical.
The first turns your past into an anchor, while the second turns it into the wind that fills your sails and keeps you moving forward.
Is there some piece of your story, personal or professional, that you’ve been able to reframe in a way that moves you forward, instead of holding you back?
Wonderful question for all to ponder. I’m one of the most self-aware person you will ever meet, but that is nothing new to me as I have been this way since I was a kid (from the adults who knew me in my youth).
Cowboy 🤠 House.
Here’s one I’d like to share – I was raised by my grandparents as my biological Dad died when I was 4 years old, trying to save a person from downing … and was overpowered by the victim and drowning with that person). My biological mother was only 16 and had a choice to have an abortion but I thank her and God that she didn’t.
Her decision to give me life has allowed me to not only live but to do what I do – predominantly, helped people, help themselves building their bridges from where they are to where they desire to be over the last 3 decades.
Anyways, I grew up in a large extended family – grandparents, grand uncles and aunties, uncles, aunties, cousins and siblings and … visitors and extended family visiting.
My home was always full and was always noisy. Our neighbours used to call our home – the “Cowboy House”.
We didn’t have much of anything – food (there were no less than 10 people to feed every single day … and I do not know how my grandparents managed to do this), didn’t have much material possessions (my grandmother used to sew my school uniforms) … but the home certainly had a lot of love.
There was a lot of storytelling and sitting around talking almost every night. It was just part of the home … part of the culture.
Because there was so much noise, most kids would not be able to concentrate/focus. But, I told myself way back in early Primary School that I will teach myself to study/do school work/read in … noise.
My teachers couldn’t understand how a kid (me) could get Top Academic Results every year.
Most kids/people need peace and quiet to FOCUS, so we are told. “How does Paul do it?” I would over hear some teachers say. In my adult life, I have continued to learn/read/focus in any environment, no matter how noisy or ridiculous is.
Focus on what you can control
I remember my grandfather telling me many things (he was a very wise man) … saying something to the effect –
“Paul, focus on what you can control … and do the best with what you’ve got … don’t be part of the problem, always be part of the solution”.
I’ve always applied that in my life, not focusing on insufficient resources and constraints .,. But on HOW I can do better with what I have. That philosophy along with many others, has helped me create the life I’ve always imagined and realise short-term and long-term goals.
Growing up in an family environment that had very limited resources (except for love … the home was always infused with LOVE), has allowed me to almost always have an overall attitude of personal optimism and enthusiasm.
I completely understand the psychosomatic relationship – psyche and soma – mind and body … better than most (hence sculpting a Physique worthy of representing Australia at 2 x World Natural Physique Championships and placing in the Top 5 in consecutive years).
I am fully aware of how the body is the physical manifestation of the mind or in other words, the body expresses what the mind is concerned with. I’m a strong believer that life is many things … and one of which is that life is a self-fulfilling prophecy…. That you usually get what you expect.
My ‘tough’ upbringing has allowed me to develop a healthy self-expectancy and eliminated all forms of excuse from my vocabulary as … I expect to win, almost all the time. I have no doubt the so-called ‘luck’ is the intersection of preparation and awareness.
Life … a very real game but not a gamble.
I look at life as a very real game .. but not a gamble.
Part of what I have done over the last 3 decades is help people, help themselves build their bridges. I have learned and taught many things. It seems that every individual tends to receive what he or she expects in the long run.
From my experience and deducing from other people’s experiences in my life so far … it would appear that you may or may not get what is coming to you, or you may or may not get what you deserve – BUT YOU WILL nearly always get what you expect.
As someone who has mastered the art of body re-engineering (building muscle and reducing body fat to < 4%), believe me when I say, there is an intricately close connection between your mind and body … a negative thought can cause your ‘look’ (that you get judged on) to go from excellent (Top 5 and finalist) to awful.
I’ve learned and mastered much of the ‘mind-body-heart-soul’ interface connections and one important one is this – mental obsessions have physical manifestations. Basically, you BECOME WHAT YOU FEAR – you get what you expect – you are that which you expect to be!
Here’s the thing – since all individuals are responsible for their own actions and cause their own effects, optimism then, is a choice.
Choose well, my adult friends.
Optimism, Enthusiasm, Faith & Hope.
What is needed is : continual fueling of – OPTIMISM, ENTHUSIASM, FAITH & HOPE.
Each is a synonym for – having a HEALTHY SELF-EXPECTANCY.
So, my question to you (if you’ve made it this far) is –
1. Do you have a healthy self-expectancy about things in your life?
2. Do you expect the best for you – in life and as a way of life?
3. Do you look at problems/constraints as opportunities?
With regards to question 3 above, try this little exercise and let me know your answers –
Make a list of your KEY problems/constraints –
> the ones that block your professional and personal fulfillment.
> Next, write a one-or-two sentence definition of each problem/constraint.
Now, rewrite the definition, only this time view it as an opportunity or exercise to challenge your creativity and ingenuity (some refer to it as ‘re-framing’).
Here’s a tip: view the solution as you would if you were advising one of your best friends.
So, where does your thoughts stand in relation to your Self-Expectancy now?
G’day & Bula & good morning/evening to YOU wherever YOU are in this beautiful planet 🌏!
I was thinking 🤔 about life, as I usually do & the concept of “truth” in particular and lies as well as they seem to be two sides of the same coin.
Lying 🤥, we all do it and have done it over the course of our lives so far.
We lie to others & we lie to ourselves. I guess we could split lies up in to two main types:
1. White lies
2. Black lies.
White Lies & Black Lies.
A black Lie, as I see it, could be defined as a statement we make we know is false. A white lie is a statement that we make that is not in itself false but that leaves out a significant part of the truth.
I think white lies can often be more destructive than black-lying. Think 💭 about it, we all do it almost every single day of our lives , as we consider white-lying more socially acceptable in many of our relationships because we “don’t want to hurt people’s feelings.”
Yet, people complain that their social relationships are generally superficial. Is this the right thing to teach our kids – that, as parents, part of being loving is feeding them heaps of white lies?
Is it right and truly beneficial for the children to not be told the cold truths about matters of life? Should parents continue (& I see this happening every day and have witnessed in many families over the last 3 decades of keen interest) “white-lying?”
So, parents tell each other everything but feed their children white lies. For example, that they fought with each other the night before about their relationship, or that their dad resents their grandparents for their manipulativeness & lack of caring over the years or that mum has a medical problem.
Rational behind white lies is – a loving desire to protect & shield their children from unnecessary worries.
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