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My MISTAKES are ….

ME. Mistake-riddled ME…. But I am happy being IMPERFECTLY PERFECT, just as Jesus Christ was. His life was a great example of what FAILURE was. Not an easy path to follow …. But I will. Because I BELIEVE in JESUS and what he stood for. Just like GOD intended.

… too numerous to list here.

I have made many mistakes. I will try to express it in words like this.

There were many times …

When I should have kept my mouth shut 🤫….

And I had spoken;

When I should have waited …

And I had left;

When I should have been patient …

And I had been haste;

When I should have been more caring & tender ….

But I had been tough;

When I should have faced my fear ….

But instead I had turned my back like a coward;

When I should have gone the extra mile …

But I stopped short;

When I should have been the first one to say “I am sorry “…

But allowed my anger to take over;

When I should have forgiven …

But hung on to resentment that ate me from within;

When I should have asked for help ….

But instead let my ego sabotage the achievement of my goals;

When I should have led

And yet, cowardly followed;

When I should have ran ….

But instead walked;

When I should have told the truth

But instead, lied;

When I should have offered assistance…

But instead wallowed in self-pity;

When I should have prayed to GOD

But instead lacked faith and belief;

When I should have had the strength to say “NO” …

And agreed to gain now and lose in the long-term;

When I should have listened to my heart

But allowed logical thinking to have full sway in decision making;

When I should have been active & engaged …

But instead was aloof and elsewhere but in the moment;

When I should have been more aware of my surroundings and those in my immediate sphere….

And instead was so self-absorbed ;

When at times, I should have been FOCUSED IN ATTENTION…

But instead included unnecessary NOISE;

When I should have reached out and touched someone …

And instead let selfish desires dominate;

When I should have found the lesson

And yet focused on the problem or issue at hand;

When I should have rested & allowed recovery…

But instead ignored trusting my instincts and suffered as a consequence;

When I should have stopped …

But lacked the ability to delay gratification;

There were times when I should have allowed my curiosity to get the better of me;

But instead I blocked my ears

When I should have cried …

But instead smiled and laughed;

When I should have said a few words …

But instead gave a thousand;

When I should have let my unusually strong 💪 stubborn-ness to dig deep;

But instead, succumbed to a feeling of weakness and gave up hope …

And ….

On … and … on … and … on ….

One thing is certain –

There’s still more mistakes to come

Life goes on

One thing that I have learned from making tonnes and tonnes of mistakes … of having experienced so many fuck ups …. Of failing multiple times is …

That I am more COMFORTABLE at tolerating the UNCOMFORTABLE FEELINGS of making a mistake … or fucking up … of failing … of failing …. Of failing. …..

I don’t see mistakes as mistakes anymore … but instead as OPPORTUNITIES to find solutions …. To stretch boundaries …. To DESIGN NEW RULES …. To CREATE something DIFFERENT …. To START ANEW.

I’m unsure of the future …

But I am not concerned;

I will rely on those closest to ME …

And I will share their burdens … as they share mine;

I WILL continue to ..

LIVE & LOVE 💕.. & LEARN … with the understanding that I am IMPERFECTLY PERFECT and …

Until my physical form on earth reaches its finite end and my spiritual self continues into INFINITY…

Because …

I BELIEVE that GOD is ALWAYS WITH ME …

And that makes me FEEL INVINCIBLE.. as I AM GOD … I AM INFINITE.

And YOU ARE TOO … if you believe.

What mistakes have you made?

What have you learned?

Be safe. Keep punching,

P.

ME. Mistakes and … all.

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MARRIAGE: The ULTIMATE TEAMWORK.

The 💝alentine tribe (minus our dog 🐶 – Mr Fuzzy/Fussy cuddles

Marriage is Teamwork.

No matter what a husband or wife happens to be or do, MARRIAGE IS TEAMWORK.

From my experience of being married for almost twenty years now and also from learning from other peoples’ experiences, marriage is a great example of ULTIMATE TEAMWORK.

I would go further to say that, given the high rates of divorce, marriages that last are not just because of teamwork but they have teamwork because they are a TEAM THAT WORKS.

Marriage is not about the hope of WORKING AS A TEAM, it is about two people WHO COME TOGETHER… & FIT … like 6 fits into 9, to make “69”.

Family.

God is an Amazing God.

God is an amazing God.

God gives many things.

God does not give individual gifts 🎁 to frustrate a marriage. No. God gives us unique gifts to ENHANCE the marriage. God does not lead two people into a marriage to see “sparks fly”, pulling a husband & wife in opposite directions.

No… God, leads them into marriage to blend and maximise their strengths, their usefulness.

Whenever this happens in my relationship with my wife, I pray to God for his help…. To give me the strength, courage & wisdom to make good decisions.

This is where our faith in God helps us during turbulent times in the marriage. There are many forces (internal and external) that work hard to tear a marriage apart.

If you believe in your marriage & what it represents is important to you, ask for God’s guidance and work hard to keep your marriage .

My beautiful wife of almost 20 years now. My love for this human being keeps increasing every single day.

The most difficult Act of Art of all.

As I see it, much of the problems & tension that occur in marriages comes from the INABILITY to BALANCE the ACT of GIVING to your spouse /other while retaining a SENSE OF SELF.

Mastering this balance, i believe is the most difficult ACT OF ART of ALL in life. I am still trying to master this after almost 2 decades.

In other words, the tension comes from grasping or holding onto what we consider our INDIVIDUALITY. I believe no matter what our gifts, talents or personalities… when they are given To god.

With strong belief in God, he will work & blend it all out and provide balance, because that is just what God will do.

No other team that you are a part of in life – business, sport, religion, politics etc … will ever be as IMPORTANT or benefit & challenge you like a successful marriage.

It takes WORK… a lot of real hard work. It is the complete & ULTIMATE example of TEAMWORK in life.

With God (part of the team, too).

Here’s a few questions for you:

1. Has there been a time when you put one of your individual goals “on hold “ so your spouse could pursue a dream?

2. Was the eventual outcome positive for you?

Until next time …

Yours in care, compassion & trust,

P.

Here we are … my beautiful wife and I. at a dinner party.
Loving & love in the Family provides key input for Balance.
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Needs, or Greeds?

Do you have to satisfy every desire you think of?
I don’t think so
Need, or Greed?

Don’t be a fool, you’re better than that

We have been told that the Top 1 to 2 percent of the world’s Rich people (which includes Nations), control and own 96% of the earth’s resources. I sit back and go ‘wow!”

How did it come to this? Why was it allowed to continue to happen?

I find a clue when I read up on the evolution of science and scientific thought over the last 5 thousand years. One thing is certain: Big Business is intricately connected to Big Politics, to Big Sports & Gambling and to Big Religion. That is the Macro-Business Summary of this imbalance in ownership and resources.

This has been happening before and during Biblical times, for instance, The Bible states –

The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is servant to the lender.”

You, me and most of the world’s 98% are in debt to someone or some thing (bank, lender, mafia, government etc). It is just a matter of degree to you and your life. Anyone who read that biblical statement knows there is utter truth in it. Anyone who has borrowed or been in bondage to debt knows the truth of this verse.

Very often, time and time again, people get in ‘head over heels’ over debt and the mis-management of the their debt:equity ratios.

Here’s what you should do:

Look around you, many loan ‘opportunities’ are popping up all over the place in this time of perceived increases of insecurities and fears. You have to be very diligent about this process of accepting loans in these times … and at any time, for that matter. There will be many perceived ‘opportunities’ to take loans but beware during uncertain times like these, especially when there is increased fears.

Firstly, truly understand your position and your ability to service your debs – short term and long-term. Don’t be fooled in to thinking ‘no repayment for 6 or 12 months’ will make the debt ‘go away’.

Don’t be a fool, you’re better than that. You know you’re only lying to yourself if you believe that.

These times are testing, yes, but it’s important to come to grips with and remind yourself of the distinction between a need and a want.

Find your inner-peace but don’t wait too long … or until you’re a skeleton
But, don’t kill yourself with debt

Need or want

My grandparents taught me a lot in my early youth. They raised me.

As I grew up in an extended family in a communal setting, everything had to be done that benefitted the whole. We didn’t have much but my grandmother had this amazing ability to cook a large pot of food to feed the whole family. She always had an “abundance’ mentality and this was reflected in the way she spoke, walked and thought and in everything she did.

Till today, I still do not understand how she managed to feed over ten people in the household every single day.

They taught me how to not only know the difference between a ‘need’ and a ‘want’ but to make decisions on material possessions using this. I have learned over the years that – knowing is one thing but ‘doing’ is a completely different ball-game. Someone can ‘know’ but would not necessarily ‘act’ on the idea. Throughout my years on this planet so far, I am very happy to say that, just like any habit, I am close to mastering my balance between a need or a want.

I don’t have one hundred percent success rate but over eighty percent success in the key things in the key areas in life.

What about you?

What is your percentage so far? Honestly.

Don’t let your ego overtake the Real YOU.
You don’t need to be caught up with ‘the Joneses”
You don’t need to live with ‘status anxiety’ just to exist.

Master-Servant Relationship

The reality is that whenever you have borrowed from another person, in it’s most simplest reality, it is a Master-Servant Relationship and you are a servant … to that person.

Before you take that debt/loan or whatever fancy name it is called … ask youself Are you happy to feel that way?

Don’t get me wrong, that Bible verse, does not prohibit debt, no … but it certainly makes you urr on the side of caution. So, from a Christian perspective, we could interpret it as saying that any person that uses debt for any purpose, at the very least, is NOT using Biblical wisdom. They (the borrowers), may in fact, be classed as –

“Fools”

Are you a fool? Didn’t think so. Debt is important to surviving in this life but the smart choices with regards to debt is key. Don’t over commit yourself. Don’t be ‘low-level, uneducated slave/servant’. Be a sophisticated and educated slave/servant’. There is a difference. Know this difference and then …

Apply this difference.

And that ‘difference’ is your ability to distinguish what it is that is truly a need and want. Thank you grandma.

Don’t be a slave and eternal slave to this Boss “debt.
That is not the best way to live your one and only life.

The UN-Believer is the same as the UN-Provider

What else does the Bible say about uncertainty and the balance between abundance and scarcity? I’m sure, being a strong Biblical Scholar, you could find many. Here’s one I found, 1 Timothy 5:8 says –

“If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”

The underlying Biblical principle relative to debt in this verse is that by taking on debt you may run the risk of not providing for your own. Because debt mortgages the future. This is where the negative effect of the ‘compound effect’ works against you. The interest upon interest upon interest on you debt locks up your future life.

It locks you up and prevents you for providing for those you love.

Therefore, this verse says that you have denied the faith and are worse than an UN-Believer. Obviously, this risk is very real and very great and … should be avoided.

Exactly.
That is exactly what many experience when they get more debt than they can manage.
They experience “Holy Shit!”

Abundance vs Scarcity

Yes, it is important to believe (in terms of keeping you less stressed), to believe in the ‘abundance mindset’ rather than the ‘scarcity mindset’ because it just helps you live a more positive life and draws more good to you than bad, if used in the right manner.

In the Bible, Luke 12:15 says –

“Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.”

It is quite obvious what the verse is trying to say – be aware and cautious and be on your guard against every form of greed. This is not, however, a matter of abundance vs scarcity.

Debt makes it very easy to fund short-term greeds; yet in doing so, we may violate the Biblical principle set forth in this verse.

The question to ask is what my grandmother told me when I was in my early youth –

“Son, ask yourself, am I funding my NEEDS or my GREEDS?”

We all have one life.

Where we end up in life has a direct correlation to the quality of decisions we have made to that point. Don’t let greed overpower your needs. Learn to discern between the two.

Your decisions are fuelled by the thoughts you have and these are based on your values and principles and belief system you adopted in your life so far. As my grandfather used to tell me –

Be careful of your thoughts, they determine your actions; be careful of your actions, they determine your habits; be careful of your habits, they determine your character and be careful of your character, it determines your …destiny.”

As you can see, your decisions impact on your destiny in life. Learn to make good and better decisions.

All the very best in your decisions,

 

Best of Vitality to YOU,

Paul e Valentine

Vitality, Health & Lifestyle Coach/Entreprenuer

The Best of the Best.
Phil Waugh – retired ex-Australian Wallaby & Warrahs Captain willing to embrace knowledge.
Increasing his awareness towards being the BEST HE IMAGINES HE CAN BE, using my framework.
An A+ Student!

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