a better life, ageing, anger, asking questions, attitude, awareness, beauty, better choices, boys, children, choices, courage, dads, dads love, dreams, examined life, father, friends, game of life, Goals, gratitude, happiness, hope, hulk, Imagination, kids, Leader, life, long-term perspective, love, male, man, needs, parenthood, parenting, parenting skills, patience, perseverance, real man, relationships, respect, self discipline, self love, son, strengths, success, taking action, Team that works, truths, Vitality, you, your life

My son turned 10, today.

10!

I sit back and go … “wow!’

Where has time gone? Ten years went by … .like a blink of an eye. Memories… that is all we have … shared memories.

We have many.

The young man and I. Cruising.

He knows he will always have a home.

He has spent his first ten years of his life, with me, his mother and his sister. Spent it in our home .. which is HIS HOME. 

I like to think that his home is a place of celebration, a continuous celebration of Life. His home is the place where he can let down his hair and just be, himself. His home is where living happens and laughter rocks the walls. 

I’d like to think that his home is the place where he learns to play, to have fun, to relax, to love and … to pray. Each day in our household is a celebration. Everyday, our Family prayers allows us to reflect on our life so far … with GRATITUDE.

Our home is A celebration of Life.

There is an abundance of laughter in his home. So loud that it carries all the way to the streets and neighbours.

Enjoying Kayaking together in Sydney’s beautiful seas

His home is where Real Living, takes place.

He learns how to work, how to play, how to eat, how to ride in cars together, how to attend Taekwondo lessons, how to play music in bands virtually, how to watch youtubes and videos, how to host friends, how to take care of his self, how To be a better brother, how to be the loving son that he is, how to develop our own private family jokes (usually they love “roasting’ me).

In our home .. his home, we try not to take life too seriously. In our home … a home of celebration we thrive in conversation and accept that humour and laughter is essential elements to our Family cohesion.

Our home … his home … vibrates to us and to everyone around us that … 

“This is what life is all about. In a nutshell, life is what happens in our home … it is where he is celebrated.”

He loves creating stuff. With all kinds of tools.

Home is where … 

My son … has his Nintendo game, his soccer and rugby balls, his books, his swords, his toy guns, his snacks. 

Home is …. Being able to walk around in his undies all day … home is Eating cold watermelon and tropical pineapple together at the dinner table on a winter day. Home is where he is allowed to yell … to get angry … and it is ok. Home is where he can play wrestle games in the bedroom and backyard and come out of it … unscathed.

Home is where he gets unlimited hugs and kisses and learns about the important things in life. Home is where he learns how to agree to disagree and resolve conflicts.

Home is where he learns to be appreciated and listened to. Home is where his strong sense of self … his powerful self image … his confidence is built. Home is where he understands his responsibilities to contribute to the family to make it work … that little things, matter.

To sum up … I hope my ten year old son learns much … in our home .. his home.

One day, I hope, he would look back and realise that home is where he discovered wonder and learned to not only Dream … but …. To Dream BIG. One day, he remembers to repeat some of … OUR traditions … OUR unique family qwirks … our UNUSUAL ceremonies.

I hope that one day, my son looks back and views his time in his home .. our home as a period where he not only FOUND but …. EXPERIENCED, JOY.

With … his dad (me), his mum, Cathy, his sister, Olivia and our pet schnoodle : “Mr Fussy/Fuzzy Cuddles”.

Until next time,

P.

Can you see “me” in my son? Can you see you in your son?
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Businesses of the future need leaders who are Entrepreneurs of Imagination. Physique Artists are Champions at this. This is how:

I AM.
I an Entrepreneur of IMAGINATION.
Through Mastery of Self, I am able to be an Agent of Creative Destruction to allow the release of new ideas … new thinking … and a new Meaning.
Meaning is the NEW MONEY.

Building a Physique of high quality dense muscle that is balanced & symmetrical on a human being takes an high understanding of striking a balance between control and creativity.

Successful Businesses now and in near future need leaders who understand HOW to strike a balance between control and creativity in organisations…

.. if they are to survive and thrive. Business Leaders need to think like Physique Artists ... like designers.

”Businesspeople don’t need to understand designers better. They need to be designers.”

– ROGER MARTIN, dean, Rottman School of Management

Here’s how the principles of physique artistry can be used in the Corporate World.

Believe.
Embrace Creative Destruction.
You never know what you’ll discover.

What it takes.

My sport found me at 19.

It was and is the hardest sport an individual can participate in. The sport name is : bodybuilding. The great Arnold Schwarzenegger is the most famous bodybuilding champion and has done and still contributes to the wellness & fitness industry. 

I like to refer to it as : Physique Artistry.

To master the “Art” you need to master – YOU.

It is the fusion of science 🧬/engineering and art(design/creativity). 

I got to the Top of my sport. Representing Australia to two consecutive world 🌎 NATURAL bodybuilding championships in New York, USA.

It was a 10 year goal (To stand on the world stage against the best in the world). I developed and managed the best execution of a 10 year plan. I achieved (& exceeded) the goal in that time by making the Finals (Top 5) in both championships.

It took /takes a lot to build muscle.

It took much much more knowledge to Sculpt a “physique “. One that leans towards “ better balance & symmetry “. Consistency, focus, persistence and belief got tested in the journey towards my best. It took learning to  listen” to the myriad of feedback signals the human body and mind Gives you, positive or negative feedback. Being “in-tune” with yourself is key 🔑 to success in this sport.

Sticking to the plan and making changes based on feedback signals ⚒️ I have (the mirror, the scale, energy levels …) where and when necessary to changing circumstances was part and parcel of the journey. It was science 🧬 & art constantly fused together. It is one of the reasons I love the art/science of physique artistry – it feeds in to my thirst for learning.

I know “what it takes.” A big part of this is the “connection “ I have with me … and my enhanced listening /detective abilities of the myriads of feedback my body gives me.

One of my Top 3 Physique Artists of all time.
Balanced & symmetrical ==> beauty.
And when you CREATE your beauty my friend is …
When you discover your TRUTH.

Tomorrow’s Organisations need to create a culture that supports feedback and embrace creativity and “Imagine BETTER”.

In creating a physique that is worthy to represent your country against the best in the world, you need a very good understanding of balancing Control and creativity.

As a physique artist I am constantly tearing down the old me … designing the new me, from within… I have to continue to let my imagination and heart lead me. I am constantly trying to IMAGINE BETTER.

That is what business leaders of tomorrow need to be: Entrepreneurs of Imagination. By testing and exceeding our own personal limits, can society’s horizons be expanded and enriched. That is the way all civilisations innovated .

As Fredrich Nietzsche (1844 – 1900) said –

whoever must be a creator always annihilates”

As a Champion Physique Artist I need to not only continually monitor what can be controlled in the “micro-environment “ but also the macro-environment. All this is balanced with the creativity and freedom needed to “push-boundaries “ in training and nutrition.

Excelling in physique artistry requires you to continuously assess actions and evaluate feedback from your body. You need to embrace feedback, whether it is negative or positive and constantly ‘tweak’ existing or create new processesses to and environment that is very dynamic and rapidly changing.

And what is ‘creativity?”. The artist, Rassouli said –

“Creativity is the manifestation of the playful spirit of a creator having fun.”

As a Physique Artist, I see the whole body as one but I see it as having many moving parts. An important task I have to do is ensure that all the parts ‘flow together’ and are in ‘harmony’ in an ever-changing environment. Depending on feedback received and assessed, I will be able to have the courage to try new things or ‘new ways’ and still achieve the desired results or better. and ‘getting it right’.

In organisations, there are lot of different parts/divisions and they need to all work together, in relative harmony and effective communication in these relationships, between these divisions is the key.

All good and effective feedback has a strong 💪 foundation of strong 💪 relationships. Feedback should come from someone the recipient respects and has built a good relationship with.

In my experience, for feedback to be most effective, however, it helps that the  parties involved need to see the persons as “people” first and foremost instead of titles & roles. This allows people to let their guard down and feel comfortable to take risks and fail. It is the ‘fear of failure’ that stalls new ways of thinking about doing things and this is emphasised by some organisations in bad performance reviews.

Freedom to be vulnerable is a contributor to creative thinking. This freedom is not encouraged by many organisations. Those that do encourage this freedom and build processes and systems that encourage and foster creative-thinking idea formulation will increase their chances of remaining competitive in fast-changing, increasingly uncertain world we live in.

We need business leaders to encourage “Creative Destruction “ … and Entrepreneurs are essential to economic growth because only they disrupt the status quo to challenge conventional business models.

Just like I have done for many many years as a physique artist and an entrepreneur.

These are Key ingredients for successful creative thinking & innovative behaviour.

Keep your dreams alive .
Snd if you’re going to dream … Dream BIG.
You serve no one by being and thinking small.
Think BIG!

Get your hands dirty, to find the diamond.

A key part of effective organisations is having well-oiled processes that are aligned with the overall mission of the organisation (make profit, increase market share etc). This is the same for building a Physique that is beautiful, that is, ‘flows’ with balance and symmetry. A physique that exudes great design.

There are many Systems for feedback that I  use with physique artistry. One of my key systems, I call it the “3-step to showing my diamond 💎 to the world“:

  1. mining – how I manage (mix n match all the variables – how much cardio, how long, what type? Best food combos ? ). Organisations  need a process of how employees are to voice grievance with others . Maybe write down “why”. Here’s where you “get your hands dirty “.

2. Re-fining : making sure that I make the right substitutions at the right time (from the larger goal … to monthly and weekly and daily goals). This is where the bulk of my time is Spent – in the beginning when working through the process of setting goals.

Organisations need to separate the “facts”‘from emotions and “he says” – “she says”. Leaders and participants in this “feedback “ process, needs to Spend time here. Refining.

3. Defining: once my goals (micro & macro employees should have the ability to re-write what they wrote initially after learning about all the other information in the two stages. This is a stage of reflection. How can you do or say things better?

Processes of feedback could be done this way, for example. 

In their book, “Thanks for the Feedback”, Douglas Stone & Sheila Heen stressed that feedback is about the quality of relationship, as I mentioned earlier –

Feedback isn’t about the quality of the advice or the accuracy of the assessments. It’s about the quality of the relationships, your willingness to show that you don’t have it all figured out, and to bring your whole self – flaws, uncertainties, and all – into the relationship.”

It is the formula I use to project manage my building of muscle &  the design & creativity I apply. I need to keep introducing these principles to encourage muscle growth and burn fat.

I love this quote. Increasing your awareness is parameters to having clarity and success in your life.
SEARCH. Become the BEST ‘searcher’ you can be.
One day .. you may find ALL the answers you’re seeking for YOUR questions to give ‘meaning’ to your life.
A wonderful book says –
“Seek and ye shall find;
Ask and ye shall receive.”
True.

Feedback: Food for Champions. Organisations to allow “feedback” to be seen as “Opportunities to learn”.

That is exactly the approach I take when listening to the various feedback loops my body gives me – the micro and the macro: I always see it as an opportunity to learn.

I see all feedback as “food for champions “.

Personally, I’ve Always had a “feedback – seeking behaviour. I subsequently found out that it is a self-regulatory trait in learning & orientation. Probably explain why I’ve always believed in learning from someone who “has skin in the game” in every key area in life.

To me, it is part of a “Champion mindset “. Being eternally curious  like me, demonstrates an awareness of feeling psychologically safe enough to proactively seek out feedback with the intention for self-improvement.

Organisations and its leaders need to emphasise a “learning environment “ instead of one based on fear.  Evolving a “Culture of Learning’ is key to success and emphasising the importance of having a ‘growth mind-set’. Having a growth mind-set is part-and-parcel of being a great Physique Artist. 

But, bear in mind there are no perfect learning people, even if you have a close-to-perfect feedback system like the human body.

To dig deep, you have to dig deep. To find “YOU “, you need to Mine … for your diamond 💎…Re-fine YOU… and then Define … your BEST YOU.

Feedback is essential to enhancing effectiveness and creativity but the feedback process needs good design. 

There are no perfect feedback systems. All business people need to be good designers.

Most adults are wired to fear failure. It’s drummed into people by our archaic outdated education systems.

Organisations suffer because staff are afraid to take risks as there isn’t an environment that encourages this. In physique artistry, it’s important to feel the freedom to take “calculated risks” on key aspects that will have a dramatic effect on your final outcome.

just like I need to create the right environment, an environment that encourages an anabolic response from muscles 💪, an organisation needs to create a culture where failing is not the focus.

Businesses will need leadership has the ability and fortitude to experiment with novel combinations. This inspiration-centred approach will inevitably have many mistakes but the journey from innovation to commodity is so swift that individuals and organisations must be relentless if they are to remain competitive.

For a organisation, The question is what should you do with the failure? What can we learn from it? A great physique artist learns to have a strong 💪 “connection “ with his self … it is a strong relationship, one based on experimentation, process and reflection and assessment (using the mirror is a key component – the mirror does not lie).

As Trevor Baylis, INVENTOR said –

“The key to success is to risk thinking unconventional thoughts. Convention is the enemy of progress. As long as you’ve got slightly more perception than the average wrapped loaf, your could invent something.”

That is, what organisations need to do through the feedback process : to focus on the human connection… the relationship and building that “emotional labour”. Developing and going through the process of reflection and “looking in the mirror “ and actually asking the RIGHT questions:

  • why do they do the things the say they do?
  • Is there a better way?
  • What are their intrinsic values ?
  • Are these values tied to their purpose
  • How are they giving value to their loca & global communities.

Most Innovation and inventions and breakthroughs come from reassembling existing ideas in new, creative ways.

I love Trees. Be like a Tree. Let go of old ways of doing things … like trees let go of their leaves … each season to allow for new fresh ones (ideas) to evolve.

Neurons that wire together, fire 🔥 together!!

The leaders of tomorrow’s successful organisations need to create and maintain an environment that fosters support for risk-taking and creativity.

This will lead to innovation.

The organisation needs to encourage vulnerable behaviour, openness…. this evolves from More trust, more care and more patience. And this should come from the top and filter down through all the levels of the organisation.

The culture is to be fuelled by a change of thinking … a re-wiring of the brain 🧠 to create a way of thinking that does not fear failure. And not just with words or “window-dressing “.  It should be authentic.

The environment should be one that fosters “Champion Feelings and Champion Thinking. An organisation that focuses on feedback being a learning experience and opportunity, like a good physique artist does with his self.

Lesrning to have Champion Feelings and Champion thinking is Something that all employees can learn to be better at. This is encouraged with feedback processes that is there to enhance learning. Organisations where employees are allowed to be themselves and be comfortable being vulnerable.

Build your bridge from where you are to … where you desire to be. A lot of times, it pays to get help from an experienced builder… who “walks the walk” ..& not all “just talk”


Mr Vulnerable, where are you … come out, come out … wherever you are!

In much of today’s modern society, allowing oneself to be vulnerable is not something that is encouraged. There are “pockets of this kind of behaviour “ here and there, but on the whole, It is frowned upon.

Men should never show weakness and vulnerability. It requires a lot of courage from employees (especially men). What is needed is undying support from leaders of the organisation.

As we know, learning can be painful (and i have learned many painful lessons lifting weights in the gym). The key thing is to allow yourself to learn to be better at “being comfortable being uncomfortable “.

Learning, like muscle growth, needs stimulation and involves  change snd adaptation. It is the process of adaptation that new muscle grows (.new exercise techniques to maximise growth). In businesses, change and adaptation happens when it wrestles with new ways of doing things and continually asking questions.

Questions that forces them to question the way they do things, Even what they think is “what’s best” or “correct “.

Here’s something I learned along the way to the Top of my sport of Physique Artistry:

“You have to be willing to be wrong! That is what leaders of tomorrow’s organisations should be focused on to foster environments that encourages more creativity.” And why is Creativity important? If you’re not exercising creativity, you may as well be dead.

“To cease to think creatively is only slightly different from ceasing to live.”  (Benjamin Franklin)

Less fear, happier employees, more creativity. Better productivity? Better profits? Is there a strong correlation, at least?

I know there is.

I’ve got – not one, but two world championships Trophies 🏆 & medals 🏅& have designed and run several successful businesses to prove it.

Cheers

Quality lean muscle that “flows” takes time & a goal of balance & symmetry

 

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The “New World’ we’re living in NEEDS more – “Shit-Stirrers”… “Questioners’. Weirdos! Here’s why –

I love hats.
I wear different hats, depending on the occasion and the style of dressing that I feel is appropriate to the setting.
Just like in “life”, we all have to juggle the many roles that we play in the play-ground and classrooms of life.
Each role can be likened to a different hat.
In life, there is no – “one-size-fits-all’ solution for every one.
A key part of life for everyone is: SEARCHING for the relevant hat/strategy to fit the situation/circumstance you’re in.
Do you like hats? What type?

Tribes.

We’re ALL in tribes or groups. Family. Extended Families. Work colleague. Sporting tribes and so forth. The tribes are small to the very big.

In One of the many “tribes” I am a member in, we all get a question that relates to aspects of life. Members of this little tribe are of all ages and come from different backgrounds and socio-economic & cultural backdrops.

In one question, we were comparing the different paths people take to success. Based on a Ted-talk by the David Epstein, our Modern societies place a lot of emphasis and pump up the “stay focused “ on one thing and specialise your way to success (like Tiger Woods did). David called this the “Kind Learning Environment”. In this environment, the rules are clear and never change; largely based on knowledge of recurring patterns;

The other way – which he called “wicked learning environment “ was “sampling “ or “trying many things before settling on one”. In this environment, the rules may change; it may be delayed, it may be inaccurate. This is the route the great Roger Federer took – trying out a huge variety of sports before settling on Tennis.

The former (Tiger Woods ) chose and specialised from before he was 2 years old and built up his > 10,000 hours before he was in his teens. The latter has fun with many sports and specialised latter.

Society tends to trump up the former method because it makes for good storytelling. Why? Well, for many reasons , chief among them is “making a decision early “ shows decisiveness and a competitive advantage is far better. Yes, that is true for many things in life.

Taking the 2nd route like Rodger Federer seems like “wandering “ and indecisiveness and that is frowned upon by society.

Is it? Really?!

As David Epstein postulates, the wicked learning environment is more like the world we are living in than the former, isn’t it? We are living in an increasingly uncertain world, where the rules and ‘way of life’ can change very suddenly. Have a look at what happened in 2020. We are living in an increasingly uncertain world and we need to re-learn how to be comfortable being uncomfortable and adapt quickly to survive.

YOU are WORTHY.
Never forget that.
TRUTH.

Being a Wanderer, DOES NOT mean you’re LOST.

So, one of the members in this little tribe said that he has been called a wanderer” for a big chunk of his early life. Confirming what I have said about the way society in this point-in-time “deemed acceptable “. There was a great list of “sampling” he wanted to experience in the future.

This was my feedback to him:

“Great “Sampling List”, let Love :heart: & your heart :heart: lead the way… towards a re-education of the heart.

Being a “weirdo” and referred to as a “wanderer” is a blessing in disguise.

Many great thinkers were wanderers – pick a few names from the Bible – Jesus Christ, Moses… then you have Buddha, and Rumi .

Being a wanderer DOES NOT mean you’re lost.

To me, It just means that you have unanswered questions. It’s good to be asking questions- whether the “small” (what tasks to run today for example) … then the high level questions (which generally involve greater consequences – like what work suits me or who am I going to marry as examples).

But to me, the important questions are the “large “ questions, like – How can I derive “meaning “ from my life, for example.

However, most people would rather keep themselves “busy “ Or focused on a project(s).
in my experience, our lives and our happiness are inextricably entwined with the Large questions of meaning.

Keep searching … keep asking questions.
That is where you will find … your ‘meaning’ to your life.
MEANING IS THE NEW MONEY.
Build your WEALTH WITHIN.

Some Questions are UNANSWERABLE.

If your “wanderer” hat :tophat: takes you on this journey seeking answers to the more IMPORTANT QUESTIONS, know this:

These questions are, to a great extent, UNANSWERABLE.

That’s ok. For some things in life, what’s important is not that you find the ‘answer’ but … that you asked the question. The RIGHT question.

I’ve always told my family, that for some things, there are no answers – “that’s just the way it is”. I’ve even invented a word that is all encompassing: “KAKA!”

It comes in to use when I am tired of answering my two kids endless questions. when I say “Kaka!” … it  means – I am not obligated to explain or give a reason … it is “just the way it is”.

END OF CONVERSATION!

They DO NOT like the word and I use sparingly.

Oops … I may have digressed there a bit …

My 3 kids never stop asking me questions.
Some questions get the “kaka” answer.
Silence.

Someone is TRULY “LOST” when

So, wandering is a good strength and is a courageous thing to do. you “open” yourself up, you allow yourself to be vulnerable.

BEING a wanderer does not mean you are necessarily, Lost.

To me, a person is LOST when they are too obtuse, filled with fear or distracted or “busying “ their lives just to avoid asking the IMPORTANT Questions… that is when someone is truly, Lost.

That, my friend, are the seemingly “ UN-Weird “people of this world.That also happens to be the majority of the population.

But… in many times in life, the “majority “ doesn’t always mean you’re in “the right “. It just means that is the prevailing view of the majority of a group /community/societies …. at that time period.

Does it mean that it was “right?”

Not necessarily.

For example, the punishment for stealing a loaf of bread 🥖to feed your family two hundred years ago was to be classed in the same mold as murderers. You were all simply bunched together and shipped off to an “island” on the other side of the world 🌎… never to ever return.

That faraway “Island” was modern day’s Australia. And those “convicts” were modern-day Australian’s forefathers. Now, did the “punishment fit the crime?” At that time, yes… the majority felt so … the society felt it was so.

Is that punishment appropriate in today’s societies?

No.

I love this quote. Increasing your awareness is parameters to having clarity and success in your life.
SEARCH. Become the BEST ‘searcher’ you can be.
One day .. you may find ALL the answers you’re seeking for YOUR questions to give ‘meaning’ to your life.
A wonderful book says –
“Seek and ye shall find;
Ask and ye shall receive.”
True.

There is no “one-size-fits-all”.

So, enjoy your “weirdness” and accept that there is no ANSWER (s) that would be applicable to ALL… there is no “one-size-fits-all” category.

Remember, it is that “search “ for answers… wearing the “wanderer” hat… that makes the search so important. Enjoy the Unique YOU.

To me: I firmly believe it is spirituality that serves as the foundation for our existence. Besides, many years ago, I didn’t really catch the ‘message’ the Priest of my Catholic Church was during the church service. On my way out, I asked the “Father” what his message was and he said –

“Son, the world needs more ‘weirdos’ … more ‘stirrers’ … more ‘questioners’ and people who ‘rock the boat’. I agree. It is the wanderers .. the questioners .. the rebels .., the ‘shit-stirrers’ that will help change the world and help create environments that encourage better creativity and innovative thinking.

We don’t just need to work on ‘improving what is already there/here” … we need dreamers .. more ‘weirdos’ … more wanderers … to help not just IMAGINE. We need to Imagine BETTER. We can’t arrive at better solutions by doing the same thing that got us here.

May God continue to shower his blessings on you and guide you in your decisions.

All the very best in your search :flashlight: (and don’t forget to take a torch with you, to help you see in the darkness… as you sail through the Seas of Life … he he he !!)

Cheers & ahoy!

From another “weirdo” … from the Land from Down-under!

Courage is the springboard to success in anything worthwhile.

Be YOU.
As YOU are.
Accept the uniqueness … and weirdness that you know you are.
Embrace YOU.
Never imitate.

 

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The honourable hats of being a Father, Dad and Husband.

To think, really think .. is probably the hardest thing To do in life

I had a health scare.

Seven months before I won my 1st World Natural Bodybuilding/“Classic” Physique Title, I had a health scare. Every few minutes I would experience excruciating pain in my abdomen, especially whenever I ate something. The old experienced Surgeon (who was part of the first Medical Graduates at one of Sydney’s Top Universities & studied with an Uncle of mine) said I was lucky –

  1. The pain I felt was the closest thing any man can come to knowing what giving birth was like for a woman
  2. Less than 0.001% (or some very small number ) of the world’s population get this ailment
  3. It can be RIGHTED.

Diagnosis: the point where my small intestine & large intestine meet had folded on to each other like a sock 🧦. The pain experienced was due to the food being squeezed through each time I ate. It was an emergency & he moved me up the waiting list.

The operation was successful.

From that experience & my life experience so far… I have concluded that Nothing a man can ever do can & will compare with the pain a woman goes through during labour, along with carrying a life in them for 9 months.

Find your light to show your son/boys their way

A good Father is a little bit of a mother.

A man can never be a mother, but I recall a mentor saying – a good Father is a little bit of a Mother. Each have different primary roles and can’t completely replace the other, without causing other unwanted consequences.

No matter who you are or what you have achieved, one thing is true about life : Fathers matter deeply in the lives of their children and ultimately in the life of our communities and nations.

I believe Fatherhood is the most tragically underestimated & misunderstood modern-day issue of our culture today. It has been now, for a number of decades. Fathers & dads should be honoured & revered just as Mothers are.

Leadership ability begins in the home … children learn character building in the home
Be the best character you can be … for YOU, first .. and then for your kids
my two children a number of years ago

Our children deserve better.

Our culture (many modern-day societies ) often mocks fatherhood in various ways – I see it regularly on TV ads over the last 2 decades where Fathers & Dads are belittled or made to look silly & irresponsible. I’ve observed & experience this first hand in playgrounds.

This should not be allowed to continue as there is nothing funny about the number of broken homes & broken lives left behind by absentee (& abusive) fathers & husbands.

Our children deserve better and more should be done in society to educate and create awareness. Society needs to continue to provide reassurance and affirm the necessary role a Father or a Father figure has in the life of each child.

It seems that our culture today is at a crossroad. There are many epidemics afflicting us, yes – the covid & obesity as examples. However, we have diverted our attention from a major epidemic: the epidemic of broken families. You don’t have to look very far … this epidemic has grown at an alarming rate & has littered our streets with broken children.

Learning and absorbing our habits every single day of their initial phase of their lives is what our young Princes do.
Teach them well.

The most vulnerable victims – our children.

Absentee and noninvolved fathers, who have given up their roles as leaders & mentors have taken their toll on the most vulnerable of victims – our children. Statistics about children from fatherless homes are alarming and we should be working towards reversing this growing trend.

Fathers are very important in the lives of their children and FATHERS MATTER!

A mentor told me this once a long time ago –

“Behind every successful child is a good dad “.

A good father & dad is one who provides the launching pad for strong, successful and values – driven adults into the world. Adults who then make a positive impact in people’s lives.

It is truly an honour to be given the opportunity to have the honour of wearing the Father, Dad and husband hats so far in my life. I hope and pray that one day, my two children mention something along those lines in their eulogy speech at my funeral.

God bless my children and all the children of this magnificent world and to all the fathers & dads reading this that try juggling all those very important hats : father, dad amd husband.

God bless all the children of this world and what they have had to endure because of the covid epidemic.

Amen.

p.

My beautiful daughter and I enjoying “Daddy-daughter time” on the Ferris Wheel at Luna Park in amazing Sydney, Australia.

foundations of a gritty strong character Begins in the Family … in the home …

 

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ONE DAY …

 

Who are “YOU?”
Learn to love ❤️ YOU, first.

Maybe, YOU should ask Love.

ONE DAY…

When is that? It’s not a trick question, no.

One day ... you may realise that the beginning of a New Day … is also the “Death of Yesterday “

I guess it depends on how you hear it;

One day, every cliche’ that you hear will remind you that YOU alone are … here; that you alone came in your this world, alone … and you, alone will go out … alone;

One day, You’ll realize that You didn’t Love yourself, that you thought you did… but you didn’t;

Maybe, you should ask Love 💗

“What are you?”

Maybe, one day Love 💕 may reply –

“Can’t you feel me… I’m here … I’m the one ☝️holding your hand reminding you not to forget me …

I’m Life when I’m near … hope, without fear;

I’m the warm feeling in your belly when you don’t know why… I’m the tingle on your skin …by a raindrop …

I’m the beautiful jewel that’s never bought … I’m you … I’ve been YOU, since day one ☝️;

I’m the Knowing when your eyes 👀 meet … your eyes in the mirror and recognise yours”

Does my dog 🐶 “Mr Fuzzy/Fussy cuddles “ love 💗 himself?
Is he conscious of that?
Probably not, that’s what separates his level of consciousness from us, humans.
Learn to harness that consciousness and learn to love YOU better. And don’t let others make you feel bad about doing so.
Life is too short, otherwise.

You thought Love was reciprocal…

Think again ..

One day, You may realise that you were searching for love … and strove to love others, looked for others to Love You, and tried to get loved by others.

But …

One Day, you may realise that …

… while searching for Love, You missed the most important person in the world to You: “YOU!” – yourself.

Maybe You thought your lovability came from giving others Love, that it would guarantee You’d get Love back.

Maybe You thought that love 💗 was reciprocal… that if You gave more Love it would get You more.

Maybe You thought that getting others Love would make You worth more, make you feel more valuable.

But …

One day, maybe sooner… maybe, later … but one day, hopefully, you will realise that –

You didn’t know then what You know now: that  You were lovable from day One.

Kindly tell that “little voice “ in your head that fills you with doubt & guilt to kindly … “Fuck off!”
Just like the negative people in your life.

God don’t make no junk!

One day, hopefully, you will realise that You just needed to know it, and treat yourself as if You are loved by someone wonderful.

Why?

Simply because you are worth it. Because YOU were made in the image of God and that …

GOD DON’T MAKE NO JUNK!

One day, hopefully… you will realise that – You ARE a wonderful One, aren’t You??  That you are Perfect as you are.

One day, you will understand that all along, The lack of Love was from You, to You since Fucking day One dear.

So embrace and forgive yourself, respect YOU and your uniqueness and turn your weakness into strength and keep on the fight.

Or simply identify and build on your Strengths. Not tomorrow, not one day. Last time I checked “one day” was not a day of the week.

Do yourself a huge favour and make that one day – TODAY.

Life seems to only reward those from a position of strengths.

May God continues to shower his blessings on you

Begin with …

Loving YOU, first!!

Be the “light” for you, first and develop & strengthen your light 💡
So that you can brighten up people who can’t see in the dark

Wise words from a wise man.
Please APPLY and most importantly, ADAPT.

 

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Familiarity, like McDonald’s, is a curse and a blessing


I love McDonald’s

I love McDonald’s. … and I maintain a “6-pack” eating it. The 2nd part of that first sentence is UN-true.

obviously. But, sometimes the obvious things in life are also hard to see, pay attention to.

One of the things I love about it is it’s familiarity. There are no surprises. When I ask for a Big Mac Meal, I know I’ll get what I expect. No surprises. It is consistently the same everywhere I go and any time I get it. 

It’s like family and marriage. Life can be like McDonald’s a lot of times. But it is that familiarity that can be a blessing and a curse. 

In marriage, the task of communication faces a big challenge: familiarity. For many people, the self they show to the world is far different to that shown to the family, to those who know them best – their family. They perform for the world – for their bosses, their friends, their work colleagues, their sponsors, their church and sports and social groups but at home – they simply don’t. 

And why? 

Well, I believe, sometimes many do not perform for home because of the ‘curse of familiarity’. For many, that familiarity erodes their energy, saps their strength and cuts off their compassion, which incidentally is – all key ingredients to good listening. 

About to start a workout in my Old School Gym. Old School training principles with a ‘modern twist’. Know the basics. Stick to the basics. Apply the basics. Its the most efficient, effective and safe approach to building a muscular physique in the gym. An authentic physique artist spends a lot of time alone … with his art, working on the guy in the mirror. Not out of vanity but .. because the mirror is one of the most honest feedback tools one could ever have. Muscle building allows you to appreciate patience & dedication and the importance of the “little things” in their overall impact on your health, fitness and art. The importance doing things “right” ALL the time … not some of the time. Just like in all relationships you love the most – it requires all these traits and above all – respect, trust, care ‘ compassion.

When the phone rings

Have you listened to the tone of voice you hear people use when they answer the phone when the phone rings? A lot of times the tone of voice is quite different to the tone of voice they use when it is a close friend, family member or loved one. 

Ideally, homes offer a shelter from the storms of life… I try to give that for my kids. However, when we grow empathetic within our safe place, the familiarity that was meant to help and nurture, can end up hurting. I have witnessed it through helping thousands of individuals and families over the years.

Good listening skills require that you give loved ones in the home the same attention you would with those outside of the home and not pay attention simply because it’s ‘just my husband’ talking.

A ‘coaching conversation’ with Brad, while taking a rest break between exercise sets.
Helping Brad, help himself, achieve something he cares about and become more of who he wants to be.
I love having coaching conversations with people who aspire for something different… with people who want to grow by Being helped to recognise the strength from WITHIN themselves.
As a coach, one of my key strengths is the ability to LISTEN to not only what is said … but what is not said. That is a big part of my >84% of clients achieving or bettering their original goals in their programs with me.

The art of listening and respect begins in the home.

If people are to survive this era in which families are ripped apart almost as fast as they are made, people need to make more effort in paying more attention to the loved ones in the home. People need to resist the temptation to ‘tune out’ at home. 

I believe, people need to open their ears and hearts more – they need to listen more intently with their ears, hearts, body and soul … to the voices inside the walls of their homes.

 

It may sound easy but believe me, it isn’t. In a lot of cases, the “easiest” things to do are also the hardest things to do.

In general, I believe family members need to open their ears better – try to listen to the voices inside the walls of their homes. While good communication alone cannot cure a bad marriage, it can make a big difference. Many relationships end because of the reason – ‘break-down in communication’. I believe, people are communicating but the majority are not communicating EFFECTIVELY. 

The ‘break-down’ is usually the result of ineffective communication. The art of listening and respect begins in the home.

Explaining the fine points of re-engineering the physique and increased self-awareness through enhanced ‘mind-muscle’ connection..
building Quality lean muscle within a structure that is “balanced & symmetrical” takes time – vision, Unwavering belief, Ability, stick-ability, character, love, care and …. constant monitoring /listening to all the “feedback loops” of the body and its environment.
Very similar to managing key relationships in your life.
“Listening And communicating EFFECTIVELY is one of the keys.

Love well, those you love most

Love is many things to different people. I believe that love begins in the home .. the safety of the family. If we’re to love well, those we love most, we must all learn to Listen. Like I tell my son ….. To not only ‘listen’ but to listen ‘better’. 

For this to happen, each spouse should strive to learn to really hear what their spouses are saying and also what they are not saying … through effective communication, more families will remain together as they combat the curse of familiarity. 

And make familiarity … 

A Blessing.

For those of you that are married – what benefits and pitfalls come with familiarity of having been married for years? 

How can you improve your communication radar when it comes to listening to your spouse?

Until next time,

Cheers & ahoy!

 

Popeye Pirate 🏴‍☠️ Paul … & listening EFFECTIVELY at home

Overcoming many small hurdles on your way to achieving your ultimate goal is encouraging.
Progress, any form of progress is a motivating factor.
So, don’t strive for perfection, instead seek progress … towards your ideal SELF. Here you have retired Rugby Union legend & former Australian Wallabies Captain – Phil Waugh still embracing knowledge to better himself. 
Vv

 

Successful achievement of goals require excellence in listening – for the coach and the pupil.

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You don’t have to finish everything …

Beauty = truth.
Create your beauty , you find your truth. If you find your truth, you find beauty.
Beauty will always be proportional (have balance & symmetry)
My goal for the last 3 decades in bodybuilding(physique artistry )

Do what you have been born to do … NOW!

The title of this blog says ‘you don’t have to finish everything … ” and I agree. Just because you’ve started something, doesn’t mean you have to finish it. For example, I think I’ve only finished reading two books in my life …from cover to cover … one was Joseph Conrad’s Classic – “The Heart of Darkness” (I’ve read many times over) and the other is …. oh, i’ve forgottten.

I’ve always applied nature’s 80:20 Principle to most things in my life and book reading is one such activity. If I get the gist of the book (some authors tend to repeat their message over and over in their chapters), and the 5 or 6 KEY things give me 80 percent of the knowledge base (the ‘essence’), I’m content.

One of the best mentors said that to me on his 82nd birthday … saying that “Paul, whatever it is that you want to do … travelling, biking or whatever … do it now, don’t wait. That time may never come. Do what you have been born to do … Now!”

I’ve never forgotten that and I have tried to apply that in my life on a daily basis. 

As I see it, your inbox will never be finished, it’s never going to be over. There will never be a perfect time to do everything. Stop thinking the ‘grass will be greener’ on the other side so stop waiting for the good stuff before you decide to …. ACT!

I believe that most men have this idea and make the mistake that one day ‘it’ will be done. They think, “If I could work enough and … hard enough, that one day, I could retire and …. Rest.” Or, they think – “One day my woman will understand something and then she will stop complaining.’Or, “I’m only doing this now so that one day I can do what I really want with my life.”

This is an error in masculine thinking, passed down for many generations. Things won’t be different … they won’t get better. It never ends. 

Here’s what you do … to get out of that thinking … that ‘rutt’ –

Make sure you continuously work at having better (more effective) communication with your significant other

Don’t believe in the myth

And what myth is that? Well, it is the myth that has been propagated in society and that is, men lie to themselves and others by believing – 

“One day when everything will be different.”

I have news for you – it won’t! Don’t believe in the myth.

Here’s what you do – DO WHATEVER YOU HAVE BEEN WAITING TO DO – that you have been ‘putting off’ for reasons such as – 

  • When your finances are more secure
  • When your children have grown and left home
  • When you finish your obligations
  • When you get that job title/promotion
  • Other

Do what you love to do, what you are waiting to do, what you’ve been born to do, NOW!

There is a Tiger 🐅 in each and every one of us.
Know when you need to bring that fella out and … when to have the cute domestic cat 🐱 there

Are you willing to do what it takes to give your gift?

In my experience and having over twenty thousands of conversations with people (mostly Men) in gyms over the last 3 decades, I have found that most postponements or procrastination are just excuses for a lack of creative discipline. 

People give excuses such as they have no money or limited resources but that is all a lie. Limited money and family obligations have never stopped a man who REALLY wanted to do something, although they provide excuses for a man who is not really up to the creative challenge in the first place. 

Do you have the creative challenge? Can you deliver? DO IT! Do IT TODAY, NOT TOMORROW. TOMMORROW MAY NEVER COME. Do it TODAY! Find out now whether you have what it takes. Are you willing to do what it takes to give your gift … your gifts and … share it with the world?

That takes courage. Courage is the foundation of everything ever ventured.

“You cannot be truthful if you are not courageous. You cannot be loving if you are not courageous. You cannot be trusting if you are not courageous. You cannot inquire into reality if you are not courageous. Hence courage comes first and everything else follows.”

Osho

 Take one hour out of your day and give your fullest attention to your gift, whatever that is … for today. Right NOW. 

Protect your mind like a true champion warrior

Don’t hope that you woman/man will be fundamentally different

They won’t be. 

That is another myth men have told themselves for generations. That one day your life will be fundamentally different, and you hope that .. one day, your woman will be fundamentally different (that goes for a woman too).

Don’t wait. 

Just assume that she’s going to be however she is, forever. If you woman’s mood or behaviour is intolerable to you then you should leave her, and don’t look back (since you cannot change her). However, if you find her behaviour or mood only a little irritating then learn to live with it.

Don’t try to ‘fix’ your woman (she is not a electronic gadget or car that needs ‘fixing’). Instead, this is what you should do –

  • Embrace and hold her (or scream or yell or wrestle for the heck of it) … and tell her that you love her when she is ‘ _____________’ that way (fill in the blank).
  • Make no effort to provide a solution or bring a stop to that which pisses you off.
  • Just love her
  • Don’t avoid the tussle with your woman and absorb her femininity in all its glory

Don’t try to fix her. That won’t end in success. What will end in success is if you simply love her because the love that you magnify may realign her behaviour.

Notice I said – ‘may’. 

Live with that. 

Believe in love 😍. Give love. Receive love. Do all thoughts & actions with love.

Your woman and the world is much alike

Your woman and the world is much alike – they will always present you with unanticipated challenges and surprises. As I see it, you have a choice:

  1. You can live it FULLY, grab every single day and give your best and your gifts and share it with the world amidst those challenges or … 
  2. Procrastinate and wait for an imaginary future which will never come. 

Aim to live a life of significance. I have found that men who have live a significant lives are men who ACTED. They were courageous and made a decision with the limited information they had at the time. They never waited: not for money, security, ease or women. 

As the late Steven Jobs said – 

“The only way to do great work is to to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it.”

Even if what you want to do is “weird “. Just Do It. So, don’t wait. DO IT TODAY!

Feel and ask your heart the question. Feel what you want to give most as a gift, to you woman and … to share with the world, and do what you can to give it … TODAY. Not tomorrow … or next month or next year or … ten years from now. 

DO IT TODAY.

Every moment waited is a moment wasted. 

Each wasted moment puts a fog on your clarity and purpose in life which is essential to living a life of significance.

Be courageous. 

Don’t Think. DO.

All the very best to you, my fellow Man,

Cheers & Ahoy!

The old Cap’n Viking Pirate Muscled Monk

 

A fridge magnet 🧲 I bought almost 20 years ago.
Practise this.

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Needs, or Greeds?

Do you have to satisfy every desire you think of?
I don’t think so
Need, or Greed?

Don’t be a fool, you’re better than that

We have been told that the Top 1 to 2 percent of the world’s Rich people (which includes Nations), control and own 96% of the earth’s resources. I sit back and go ‘wow!”

How did it come to this? Why was it allowed to continue to happen?

I find a clue when I read up on the evolution of science and scientific thought over the last 5 thousand years. One thing is certain: Big Business is intricately connected to Big Politics, to Big Sports & Gambling and to Big Religion. That is the Macro-Business Summary of this imbalance in ownership and resources.

This has been happening before and during Biblical times, for instance, The Bible states –

The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is servant to the lender.”

You, me and most of the world’s 98% are in debt to someone or some thing (bank, lender, mafia, government etc). It is just a matter of degree to you and your life. Anyone who read that biblical statement knows there is utter truth in it. Anyone who has borrowed or been in bondage to debt knows the truth of this verse.

Very often, time and time again, people get in ‘head over heels’ over debt and the mis-management of the their debt:equity ratios.

Here’s what you should do:

Look around you, many loan ‘opportunities’ are popping up all over the place in this time of perceived increases of insecurities and fears. You have to be very diligent about this process of accepting loans in these times … and at any time, for that matter. There will be many perceived ‘opportunities’ to take loans but beware during uncertain times like these, especially when there is increased fears.

Firstly, truly understand your position and your ability to service your debs – short term and long-term. Don’t be fooled in to thinking ‘no repayment for 6 or 12 months’ will make the debt ‘go away’.

Don’t be a fool, you’re better than that. You know you’re only lying to yourself if you believe that.

These times are testing, yes, but it’s important to come to grips with and remind yourself of the distinction between a need and a want.

Find your inner-peace but don’t wait too long … or until you’re a skeleton
But, don’t kill yourself with debt

Need or want

My grandparents taught me a lot in my early youth. They raised me.

As I grew up in an extended family in a communal setting, everything had to be done that benefitted the whole. We didn’t have much but my grandmother had this amazing ability to cook a large pot of food to feed the whole family. She always had an “abundance’ mentality and this was reflected in the way she spoke, walked and thought and in everything she did.

Till today, I still do not understand how she managed to feed over ten people in the household every single day.

They taught me how to not only know the difference between a ‘need’ and a ‘want’ but to make decisions on material possessions using this. I have learned over the years that – knowing is one thing but ‘doing’ is a completely different ball-game. Someone can ‘know’ but would not necessarily ‘act’ on the idea. Throughout my years on this planet so far, I am very happy to say that, just like any habit, I am close to mastering my balance between a need or a want.

I don’t have one hundred percent success rate but over eighty percent success in the key things in the key areas in life.

What about you?

What is your percentage so far? Honestly.

Don’t let your ego overtake the Real YOU.
You don’t need to be caught up with ‘the Joneses”
You don’t need to live with ‘status anxiety’ just to exist.

Master-Servant Relationship

The reality is that whenever you have borrowed from another person, in it’s most simplest reality, it is a Master-Servant Relationship and you are a servant … to that person.

Before you take that debt/loan or whatever fancy name it is called … ask youself Are you happy to feel that way?

Don’t get me wrong, that Bible verse, does not prohibit debt, no … but it certainly makes you urr on the side of caution. So, from a Christian perspective, we could interpret it as saying that any person that uses debt for any purpose, at the very least, is NOT using Biblical wisdom. They (the borrowers), may in fact, be classed as –

“Fools”

Are you a fool? Didn’t think so. Debt is important to surviving in this life but the smart choices with regards to debt is key. Don’t over commit yourself. Don’t be ‘low-level, uneducated slave/servant’. Be a sophisticated and educated slave/servant’. There is a difference. Know this difference and then …

Apply this difference.

And that ‘difference’ is your ability to distinguish what it is that is truly a need and want. Thank you grandma.

Don’t be a slave and eternal slave to this Boss “debt.
That is not the best way to live your one and only life.

The UN-Believer is the same as the UN-Provider

What else does the Bible say about uncertainty and the balance between abundance and scarcity? I’m sure, being a strong Biblical Scholar, you could find many. Here’s one I found, 1 Timothy 5:8 says –

“If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”

The underlying Biblical principle relative to debt in this verse is that by taking on debt you may run the risk of not providing for your own. Because debt mortgages the future. This is where the negative effect of the ‘compound effect’ works against you. The interest upon interest upon interest on you debt locks up your future life.

It locks you up and prevents you for providing for those you love.

Therefore, this verse says that you have denied the faith and are worse than an UN-Believer. Obviously, this risk is very real and very great and … should be avoided.

Exactly.
That is exactly what many experience when they get more debt than they can manage.
They experience “Holy Shit!”

Abundance vs Scarcity

Yes, it is important to believe (in terms of keeping you less stressed), to believe in the ‘abundance mindset’ rather than the ‘scarcity mindset’ because it just helps you live a more positive life and draws more good to you than bad, if used in the right manner.

In the Bible, Luke 12:15 says –

“Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.”

It is quite obvious what the verse is trying to say – be aware and cautious and be on your guard against every form of greed. This is not, however, a matter of abundance vs scarcity.

Debt makes it very easy to fund short-term greeds; yet in doing so, we may violate the Biblical principle set forth in this verse.

The question to ask is what my grandmother told me when I was in my early youth –

“Son, ask yourself, am I funding my NEEDS or my GREEDS?”

We all have one life.

Where we end up in life has a direct correlation to the quality of decisions we have made to that point. Don’t let greed overpower your needs. Learn to discern between the two.

Your decisions are fuelled by the thoughts you have and these are based on your values and principles and belief system you adopted in your life so far. As my grandfather used to tell me –

Be careful of your thoughts, they determine your actions; be careful of your actions, they determine your habits; be careful of your habits, they determine your character and be careful of your character, it determines your …destiny.”

As you can see, your decisions impact on your destiny in life. Learn to make good and better decisions.

All the very best in your decisions,

 

Best of Vitality to YOU,

Paul e Valentine

Vitality, Health & Lifestyle Coach/Entreprenuer

The Best of the Best.
Phil Waugh – retired ex-Australian Wallaby & Warrahs Captain willing to embrace knowledge.
Increasing his awareness towards being the BEST HE IMAGINES HE CAN BE, using my framework.
An A+ Student!

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11.5 KEY Life Lessons I’ve learned in my life so far …

Do you believe in Love at first sight?

ONE. GIVE people more than then they expect.

Go the extra mile. Do it with a smile.

Human nature (especially in the Western World), teaches us to “Take”. We are constantly taking, taking things in life, for granted and by doing this philosophy of taking, we are intentionally Taking from Themselves.

If you’re a Christian like I am, you will know that the Bible teaches that to receive, you have to GIVE. You can give, in many ways – financially, emotionally, intellectually, your time etc.

I believe, your greatest GIFT to others and the world is your Attitude. Having an Attitude of Gratitude’ (by giving Thanks), you connect yourself to the magic in the universe and ultimately receive everything you desire in life.

One must deliberately think and feel Gratitude, there is no other way to tap in to the abundance but first, you must give.

I like the point where the sun looks down where the land meets the sea meets the sky. My Golden Point. Do you have yours? Where?

TWO. Don’t believe everything you hear or read.

Reality is what you perceive it to be, not what others tell you it is. If you don’t think so, just watch a really good magician or illusionist change your reality right before your eyes.

Also, spend all you have and sleep all you want.

Continuously helping you become the best you can be … BEGIN help by helping yourself.
Then,
Reach out and touch someone … be the light for someone who can only see darkness.
Help them see ‘beauty’ .. see their truth.
Help them manage their insanity with sanity … their chaos with order.
Pray.

THREE. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to.

I’ve been very fortunate to have been with a woman who said she just wanted to keep talking to me from the very first time she met and hear my voice. I think that is one of the best compliments I have ever had.

I feel the same way about her and we have been together since we first laid eyes on each other twenty years ago.

As you get older, their conversation skills will be as important as any other.

Thank you, my darling wife and dear life friend, Cathy for the last twenty years of talking and conversing.

A lovely time out on the ski slopes.

FOUR. When you say, “I love you,’ MEAN it.

I’ve heard it and so may, have you. People who rattle off the phrase ‘I Love you’ but, you know they don’t really mean it as their actions to match the words.

From my experience, love is worth the risk.

It is quite simple, if you say it, mean it.

Don’t abuse that phrase.

To pursue your SHIT and never achieving it is far better than never having a go at your SHIT and living with regret forever.

FIVE. Live with each other for at least six months before you get married.

About eighteen years ago, my girlfriend at that time (my wife now), asked me to move in with her. After two weeks of deliberation, I called her up and said –

“why not, let’s just do it”

We were both a little scared. It was new territory for both of us. We agreed that we would give it a try for six months. If either of us or both didn’t like living with each other, we would call it quits and go separate ways.

I heard couples breaking up because they pressed the toothpaste from different ends. Apparently, the little mosquitoes irritate you more in life.

Almost twenty years later, we have beautiful memories with two beautiful children and a dog.

The six months was a key moment in our relationship.

Thank you, Cathy for agreeing with me to do this all those years ago.

Travelling the uncertain seas of life together.
Love is worth the risk.

SIX. Believe in love at first sight.

I know some people don’t believe in this and try to analyse their future love partners based on other logical reasoning like income, status, intelligence, looks, height etc

They’re all important, yes they are.

I believe they are not as important as listening to your intuition in choosing a partner. This usually involves illogical reasoning and matters of the heart, which is tied to your eyesight and seeing love before your eyes.

It is a beautiful thing.

I’m still with my wife from the first time I laid eyes on her in the Photocopying/Fax Room at our place of work, in the year 2000. We were Business Consultants working for a Top Advisory Firm in Sydney, Australia.

She gave me the best smile I had ever seen and I believe I saw her heart smile to me, through her eyes.

I fell in love, then and my love for her has grown every day since.

What do think YOU see in the mirror?

SEVEN. Don’t laugh at anyone’s dreams. People who don’t have dreams, don’t have much.

What are dreams?

Dreams tell dreamers what could be as opposed to what currently is. Dreams are essential to creativity and innovation and achieving goals.

What are goals?

They are ‘dreams with a deadline.’ Everything begins and ends in the mind, starting with your imagination/dreams. As a mentor once said –

If you can conceive it and believe it, you can achieve it.

I used to tell people that if I made that person I see in the mirror better than, last week, than last month, than last year … in ten years I will be on the World Stage, standing and competing against the best in the world.”

Within ten years, I stood on stage against the best natural bodybuilders at that time, representing Australia. A Big Dream, come true. I repeated the feat the following year for good measure. As a great mentor once said –

“If you think you can, you’re right … you CAN.”

Don’t ever laugh at another person’s dream, no matter how far-fetched it is.

My ten year dream. Achieved. Twice.
Believe in YOU. Have a Quality Plan and then Work that Quality Plan

EIGHT: Great love and great achievements involve great risk.

It is worth it, if you desire it so.

Life, is many things and one of them is – life is a big exercise in Risk Management.

Remember: No Risk, No nothing.

Wonderful insight in to the mind of a Great Leader

NINE. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

Smiles should be traded in, like the Stock Market.

Those who smile often and readily, should get credits of some sort from society. Smiling makes everything a little better, unless you’re the Joker and going up against Batman.

Everything is going to be alright.

Smile.

One of my many quirks – my Old Captain Viking Pirate persona
Smiling is a habit of mine. … a contagious habit I must add.

TEN. Disagree with people, if you must but don’t hate them.

It’s ok agree to disagree and still like someone.

In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling and personal judgements. Leave judgemental comments to God or people who have a profession as a Judge.

Shit happens. Stand your ground. Don’t be afraid.

Exactly.

ELEVEN point (.) Five: Spend time alone. Learn to enjoy your own company.

I enjoy my own company.

Do you?

You can be alone, but you are not necessarily lonely. Many people cannot stand being alone with themselves. It can be the most difficult thing for some people to do, the thought of spending time with themselves, with their own minds, with their inner-thoughts is just not ‘cup-o-tea’.

Spending time alone can be beneficial in more ways than one. It doesn’t have to be a huge amount of time initially, you can simply start small and slow.

The important thing is to Start.

My time alone produces my version of magic.
My Fine-line drawing paper art.
The fusion of chaos & order … that point where I dance with peace.

This is a list of only 11.5 Key lessons from my life so far … ‘0.5″ because the list is not exhaustive.  Many other lessons you can choose to learn as you travel through life. The skill is in identifying the relevant ones with appropriate sufficiency.

All the very best in your choices,

 

Cheers & Ahoy!

The Old Cap’n Viking Pirate Evangelist Muscled Monk … & Life lessons/hacks (11.5 Key) so far …

The Old Cap’n Viking Pirate Evangelist Muscled Monk and his pirate dog – “Mr Fuzzy/Fussy Cuddles”

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accountability, adaptation, ageing, asking questions, attitude, authenticness, awareness, Beliefs, better choices, care empathy, caring, Change Agent, choices, communication, compassion, courage, dreams, Energy, examined life, game of life, genuineness, Goals, God, gratitude, happiness, hope, Imagination, intimacy awards, Jesus, Leader, leaders, leadership, life, long-term perspective, love, man, needs, parenting skills, perseverance, perspective, real man, relationships, responsibility, risk, salvation, self love, self-image, self-respect, skills, strengths, success, successful marriage, Team that works, Vitality, you, your life

Headship

To lead, you need to serve … you need to spread your love … you need to spread your wings … and be the wind beneathe other wings …
Here I am spreading my wings … my lats … just like Batman’s cape

Another term for Leadership

Have you heard of the term – “Headship?”

It is another term for Leadership.

I think it has a Biblical origin, whereby the man is recognised as the “head” in marriage and so he was endowed with authority and the right-to-dominate. This set of beliefs would not sit well with women in marriages or society in general, today, and understandably so.

It may have been Paul’s mistake of patterning the man’s role as “head” after Jesus Christ’s position as “Head-of-the-Church” which gave weight to the husband’s role in a marriage. Patterning your life on someone else without thinking about possible negative consequences can be a dangerous thing.

Great Leaders bring out the best in others … Great Leaders walk the trenches with their men … great leaders are great servants
Here I am with the members of my gym
Members that I served for 7 years of my life …
to be their BEST

A True Leader has a Servant’s Heart

Should the husband, become Lord and Master or Servant, I ask you?

The Man and Christ have been compared since, so does that automatically give the Man all the rights and roles to that of the Lord in the home?

I think many in societies today still act out this misconception in families and in other areas of life, like board rooms, sports fields etc. Men dominate to a significant degree. Change is happening but it is happening so slow that the real benefits will be experienced fifty to hundred years from now.

But why?

What are some of the traits of good Leaders anyway?

I think the great Leader and teacher of Leadership, Mr John C Maxwell, stated it rightly –

“The best leaders desire to serve others, not themselves.”

How many of you reading this can honestly look at yourself in the mirror and say that you truly have a servant’s heart?

I agree, totally, … all great Leaders have a servant’s heart. Can you think of some great Leaders? Who comes to mind? Gandhi? Nelson Mendela? Donald Trump? General H. Norman Schwarzkopf? Jesus Christ?

There are many good Leaders .. but not many, Great Leaders throughout history.

Winning this award in 2008 for the BEST GYM in the Northern Beaches of Sydney was the best award I have ever received (better than my 2 x World Championship trophies)
It was an award judged and voted on by the residents of the Northern Beaches on the BEST GYM & related Services in the Health & Fitness category

Headship means responsibility to act in love

We, as humans making our path through the maize of life, tend to seek & gravitate to Leaders, consciously and unconsciously.

It can be a benefit for some people, who prefer to off-load their responsibility in making decisions to someone else – a volunteer that can be used as a ‘scapegoat’ when things fuck up. You see and hear about this every single day – in politics, business and sport and life.

Headship means responsibility and initiative.

Headship is a responsibility to act in love; initiative to act in service to another. And who do you think is the greatest actor in Headship that ever walked this planet? I believe it was Jesus Christ. He demonstrated self-giving love and self-humbling service which gives us a whole new meaning and standard to the term “Headship.”

He truly embodied the qualities of servanthood.

So, to be true Leader, you need to take the initiative in building an atmosphere of loving, self-sacrificing service.

 

What’s you idea of Headship? What is your idea of what a Leader should look like? A Viking? A Pirate … maybe?

Taking on other’s qualities

Are you in a marriage?

It seems that marriage partners tend to become like each other, don’t you think?

After nineteen years of marriage with my partner, Cathy, I have deduced that there are one of two ways marriages can go. Based on my relationship and my observations of other marriages, either partners tend to become like each other and start taking on other’s qualities, or developing the opposite characteristics in negative reaction to the other.

Which way to you choose? Question is: are you still married?

Bowling night out with the Men of my gym
To Lead is to Serve

Real Leadership begins in the home

A person’s fundamental character is learned from the people he or she lives with in the early part of his or her youth, his or her family. Real Leaders are molded by the people that love them in the early years.

Real Leadership, begins in the home.

Leadership, I believe, is a function which should always be shared. I grew up in an extended family where Leadership was shared. That is what I adopt with my wife and nuclear family now.

I find when Leadership is shared in mutual respect for each other, it establishes a climate of dignity, freedom and responsibility. I believe this is part of the secret to my wife and I managing our relationship for nineteen years now. We’ve both changed in more ways than one since we first met but we’ve always allowed one another room to grow.

This climate of dignity, freedom and responsibility in turn creates an atmosphere which is both comforting and stimulating to both partners in a marriage. Do you share the Leadership function with your married partner?

And how do you know if this is what you have?

Well, shared Leadership is one where each is free to grow toward personal maturity and each partner is eager to see the shape of Christ forming in the other (see Galatians 4:19-20).

With Margaret .. the blind member of my Family Gym .. & her dog
Never forget – to Lead, one must have a heart to serve
I served this lady and her blind daughter (who I helped train for her first Paralympics in her teens).

Choking of communication and understanding is a cause of bad leadership

Where one party seizes power, or both the husband and the wife, both struggle for control, an atmosphere of competition and conflict results. The choking of communication and understanding is the fuel of this atmosphere. Even the unconscious assuming of power by one partner or the other will mold the relationship, perhaps in ways neither desire.

We’ve all seen this play out in the Hollywood movies countless times and some of you may have played it out in real life too.

When relationships break up, a common reason is there was a ‘break-down in communication.”

Leadership ability begins in the home … children learn character building in the home
Be the best character you can be … for YOU, first .. and then for your kids

Traits of a True Leader

Here are some ways you can become a True leader:

  • Put others first – being intentionally aware of others’ needs and being available to them
  • Confidence to give power to others – how we treat others is often a reflection of how we treat ourselves. How do you treat others?
  • Initiating service to others without expecting anything in return – the heart of true leadership is in the initiation of service
  • Not status/rank – conscious – your motivation to help others is paramount
  • Serves out of love – the quality of your leadership depends on the depth of concern for others

So, how do you fair in your Leadership skills so far in life?

More importantly, how do you learn to become the best servant you can be and as a result a Great Leader? A mentor once summed it up to me many years ago –

You must be little (seem insignificant) and serve all.

 

All the best to your Headship Role in life.

Cheers & Ahoy!

The old Cap’n Viking Pirate Evangelist Muscled Monk … & what it means to be a Great Leader

Me, some of my quirks (showing off my muscles, posing at every and any opportunity and my desire to ‘over’ dress than to ‘under’ dress. Also, my quirk of love for dogs (and in particular, my pirate dog) and animals in general.

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