My biological mum had me before she turned 16. She had a choice to have an abortion but chose to give me life. Being so young and incapable, her parents (my grandparents) decided to raise me as their own.
Because of the societal norms at that time, I now understand that my grandparents adopted me as their own, in every sense of the word. They were the best Parents any kid could wish for. My “mom” (grandmother) died when I was 12. It felt like the end of the world to me because she was the word to me.
She was caring, compassionate and loving 🥰 & very strong (usually welcoming in strangers and the homeless. She would clean them, clothe them, feed them and give them a place to sleep for a short while … and give them a little help on their way.
Some of the Strangers we helped, would return, sometimes years later, to offer money and thanks for her (& my grandfather’s unsolicited care & hospitality when they had hit a “rut”). I recall seeing the turnaround in the individuals and the impact my humble grandparents and their kindness gave them.
A whole new lease of life.
My grandmother was my first role model of a loving & strong independent woman. I really loved her full body massages she gave me to wake me for school almost every morning. This is where my penchant for hugs 🤗 & kisses originated. I thank her for that.
In my pre-teens, my biological mother’s sister (my Aunty) stepped in and assumed a “mother” role for me. She showed me a second type of strong woman. She was a woman’s woman.
My Second Mum: the Ambitious Career Woman.
She wasn’t too lovey-Dovey like my mum # 1. She was very ambitious and career-focused and very risk-averse. Very strategic and almost always chose a conservative approach to many things. Her thing was – “don’t rush life, Paul”.
Two things were important for her – good education and making money. She was very successful and raised me in very rich surroundings in my teens. I learned and experienced life through very wealthy lens and feel very fortunate to have done so. Not many children grow up in a 3 car-garage, 3 storey 6 bedroom mansion with a pool. My bedroom even had its own bathroom and walk-in wardrobe.
I only got to know my biological mum after an uncle broke the “news” to me two weeks before my Final Exams at High School. We had a heated argument and he let out the “truth”. In hindsight, Not the best time. I wish he had waited until I had finished my exams before telling me that the first 17 years of my life was a lie. That my grandma was not my mother and that my “older sister “ was in fact, my real mother!
I was shattered. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing .
I locked myself in my room for a whole week… trying to come to terms with this bomb 💣. I cried a river in my room…. Everything I ever knew … about my family … about my life … was a lie. Who could I trust? Why is this happening to me? I was angry at everyone… they all played a part in the lie.
It had a significant effect on my High School Results. Negative. I was aiming to be in the Top 10 but I failed. I think I made the Top 20. In the whole scope of life, the mark I got didn’t matter. I still got to do what I wanted to do at University.
That was a first. Me, getting to University in my immediate and extended families. The ceiling in academia was High School… but I raised it … and still raising it.
It’s been almost 30 years since I learned of this truth. Along the way, I learned that many other individuals have experienced similar situations. Some famous like Jack Nicholson, who only found out that his older sister was in fact, his mother. He only find out in his late 30s when a reporter dug up his background for a story on him.
In many cultures, especially in Polynesian cultures, “step in”. Grandparents generally stepped in to protect the child and give them every opportunity to succeed. They did. I got all the love and attention any child could have. I am very grateful for the unconditional love life they gave me.
They were my parents and friends & family and schools & teachers and anyone I ever interacted with all played their roles.
You could say my first 17 years was a lie.
That’s ok. Every family has their “secrets” and “skeletons in the closet”. What are yours? Do you have any? Is your whole life “the whole truth & nothing but the truth?” Is the truth better than living a lie? What if living the truth disadvantages you more? Would you then choose to live a lie? If you had the choice?
My Third Mum: the Risk Taker. Biology Matters.
The choice was made for me. Her choice to give me life rather than get an abortion.
And it was made with love snd for my benefit and protection. An unselfish choice by my biological mother in playing her role as my “older sister “.
It was only in my later years that I realised how amazingly courageous and unselfish she was to live in the same household as me … and stop herself from playing the “mum” role to me.
I had many arguments with her and told her off on many occasions. I would see her run into the bedroom, close the door and I’d hear her crying. She wouldn’t cry in front of me or argue with me.
Remember, she was my older sister to me. Little did I know then … who she REALLY WAS. This is the Mum that didn’t always make decisions logically because she usually made it with her heart. She was a “thinker”, the most academically gifted of all her siblings. A rebel, a risk-taker.
I buried my biological mum in 2011, 3 months after my son, Zachary was born. Like my grandmother, My biological mum, Margaret, died from cancer within 3 months of being diagnosed. Aaaahhh… the Circle of Life, as they say.
She did not live long but she epitomised what courage is to me. What a brave woman, who lived & died, with integrity & dignity.
THE OLD HAS GONE, THE NEW HAS COME!
The Bible has been a big comfort for me all my life. It gave me strength in those years (18 – 22) that I refer to as my “lost years “. It was always a source of inspiration and strength for me … in the many times I needed courage.
We have been gifted not only from our genetic background but also by the environment in which we were brought up. Each of us were formed by all the people who have made an impression on us.
From the people who gave us affirmations (like my grandparents did for me) to the people who put us down or belittled us. The former types gave us a positive view of other human beings and the latter, a view that fed our uncertainty about ourselves and … others…
Genesis 1 relays a story that God created living things to bring forth according to their own kind. So, not only are we likely to look like our parents but it is likely that we will embrace life’s challenges just as our parents did.
“So God created man in his own image.” (Genesis 1:27)
So, i/we were not only created in our parents image but also in God’s.
Yes, we all have our past (and even if part of it was not lived in truth like mine), take comfort that we also have God (if you’re a Christian). I spent 8 years as a Catholic Altar boy in my early youth and one phrase that sticks in my mind is –
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the NEW HAS COME!” (2 Corinthians 5:17)
This verse has always given me comfort. Especially, after I learned of certain truths at 17. I get Comfort in knowing that the curses and the distortions and sins of previous generations does not hold me back. That it does NOT MAKE ALL “ME”… that I can release the OLD… to make room for the NEW.
We are Built in God’s image. Something that I can … we can ALL use as a springboard to being the BEST VERSION OF OURSELVES.
Yes, We are trapped with our old us … the past experiences… and the good (& imperfections in genetics 🧬 passed down to us) ….
With the knowledge and belief that we, as Christians, are also created in the image of God, gives all of us I mmense COURAGE…. And hope … and belief… that we have a huge capacity to change!!
You are unique! Believe it so…. And you can change!! We ALL CAN!!
But, this is not easy and TAKES COURAGE and … a lot of WORK! In my experience, You MUST TAKE CHARGE of your life! You must stop saying –
“I’ll always be the same … I’ll never be different “
Instead, you should begin saying –
“I CAN be different because of God’s love 💕 working in me.”
DO NOT FEAR CHANGE especially if the change is to make you all that God wants you to be.
When you decide to Invite Christ into your life, know that you have been re-born… snd the Holy Spirit will guide you.
I know I have been “re-born “ many times … in my life, so far. When I reflect, I was very fortunate to have been influenced by three strong & courageous women. They were all different and they were women who loved me differently but all had strong values & principles.
I may have lost two Mums, but there still remains one. Something many cannot say. I will continue to love this Mum that is still alive today….and the other two Mums are always with me in spirit.
Thank you God. Amen.
Ask yourself for God’s guidance and he will answer.
When you’ve done something wrong and/or have wronged someone, you firstly need to take FULL responsibility for it.
You repent because you realise that, that inexcusable wrong can be judged or forgiven. Inexcusable wrongs can never be understood and overlooked. Fake Repentant people seek and beg for forgiveness, with no thought of deserving it.
Yes, you read that right, they don’t deserve it.
That is not fair – to the person that has been wronged and not fair for the person who has wronged.
To gain trust back, perpetrators need to own their “inconvenient truth” (to borrow a phrase from US Vice President Al Gore).
Truly Repentant people are people who finally understand God’s amazing grace. When you truly seek repentance, know you need only to confess to experience the forgiveness from God Almighty.
Forgiveness is ALWAYS there in infinite supply.
Recently, I got into a very big argument with my wife of twenty years. It was probably the biggest blue we’ve had in our time together. It involved her and my family. To get straight to the point, I was an Asshole … well, okay, I was a HUUGGE Asshole! I even called myself one during the fight.
Alcohol was involved. Correction: excessive alcohol was involved.
On reflection, it is quite obvious that I was being a selfish prick! Yep, you read that right. I was being a thoughtless spouse. And here I was imagining that on my deathbed, my children and wife will remember me for many things but for mostly being the most THOUGHTFUL human being they have ever known.
After this incident, that dream/imagination may not manifest into reality. I fucked up, and my selfish choice was not “thoughtful “. I simply fucked up!
You see, whether we are adulterers or thoughtless spouses (like me, in this instance), the problem with all of us is one of perspective. Instead of thinking of our thoughtlessness (in words or actions/deeds) as INEXCUSABLE SELFISH CHOICES, we stubbornly regard our interpersonal failures as UNDERSTANDABLE MISTAKES. Understandable mistakes, can you believe that?! It comes down to a small but significant factor of perspective, or the way we view something.
And in my recent case: I clearly made a selfish choice and my perspective was NOT the right one.
Seek to understand first.
I’m not one for giving excuses or listening to excuses, but during and after that big argument, I found myself giving excuses. It just rolled out of my tongue and the strange thing was that I was fully aware of this roll-out while it was happening. And here’s the catch: I did not stop this conveyor belt of excuses.
When I reflect, I realise that excuse-making has been a part of almost every area of life that has humans participating. Excuse-making has been a natural tendency in people since, I guess, Adam blamed Even for eating the apple and … Eve blamed the Snake for persuading her. It’s been around for a long while.
I guess, without some form of self-justification, we are forced to look at ourselves in the mirror, just as we truly are … not necessarily, the image the mirror reflects.
Now, based on how I argued in that fight, the standards I adhered to fell very short of God’s standards. My actions and words deserved punishment.
I read somewhere that a wise person seeks to understand before wanting to be understood.
That is something I need to improve in my life. What about yours?
Joy evolves from misery.
When we really look at ourselves in the mirror and truly see ourselves as we are, would we accept our status as sinners.
And what are sinners? Sinners, like me, are worthy of judgement. We are powerless to improve ourselves … and are humbled that our best deeds provide no defence.
That is how Joy evolves from misery. Throughout my experience and learning from other people’s experiences, I’ve learned that those who make themselves naked and vulnerable and basically more human, are the ones who get the most trust.
Or at least, get part of or most of the lost trust back.
It is through the process of embracing genuine nakedness, humility and vulnerability, that you find your AUTHENTIC SELF.
I believe, moving closer to your authentic self is not only where life BEGINS but also …. Where JOY blooms and your GROWTH CONTINUES.
Now, as a Physique Artist, I regularly strip down to a pair of “g-strings” on stage, under very strong lights to display the ‘flow of muscles’ … and ‘paint a picture of moving art’, using my sculpted physique, from my heart … to the hearts of the audience.
It is one of the closest you can get to being naked, humble and vulnerable. By being vulnerable, humble and exposed, I find you allow yourself to be more open and transparent. This is important for any relationship. For me and my wife, this is vital. Always has been.
I am an “open book” and this nakedness, this humility, this vulnerableness, demonstrates to her that that I have nothing to hide ( or an impression anyway).
Now, allow yourself to strip yourself of EGO and wear your “G-STRING of YOUR SOUL”. That takes COURAGE. Seek Courage… for without courage, no great achievement is every attainable.
For me, in all my most important relationships, Trust is vital. It is one of the key foundation stones of my 21 year relationship with the most important woman in the world to me- my wife.
Passing on the instructions of good decision-making to my daughter is fundamental to my role as her father. Much guidance is given by the Bible.
Wisdom stems from the discipline of Character.
I also ask myself the question of what is the GOAL of a Father’s advice to his children?
It is clear to me that the Goal of a father’s Godly instruction MUST be spiritual and must stem from the insight learned in Proverb’s WISDOM, KNOWLEDGE or UNDERSTANDING.
But, I don’t believe this wisdom is from Academic Achievements measured by membership to University boards or clubs or some Ivy League College. No, I believe this “wisdom” goes beyond scholastic wins. It goes to a place few dare to go.
That place is – MORAL RESPONSIBILITY. Getting there is difficult. Staying there is far greater a challenge.
Like Father – like son.
The Power of Discretion and Discernment.
It ALL boils down to decision-making, the mastery of this Art. Many Leaders and would-be leaders spend years at universities trying to learn the many tools that assist and help them make decisions.
To live prudently means to make decisions that are NOT based a whim or changing appetite but knowing right from wrong. This is the skill and power of discretion or discernment. Exactly what the Bible, Proverbs prescribed.
Whenever I make a decision in my children’s presence, I have a “walk-through “ how I arrived at that decision (s). I let them know the THINKING 🤔 BEHIND THE INTELLIGENCE. I mention the KEY components like – the initial assessment of risks; the consequences it could lead to if not addressed with mitigating controls; the probability/likelihood of the consequences occurring (with and without mitigating controls) and the possible impact, to self and others.
And then factoring in what my heart ♥️ & soul tells me too.
Such instruction DOES NOT presume that the child somehow already knows what’s best. So, if you’re thinking of having kids or have very young kids, I believe that parents need to instruct and educate them from the earliest years.
They must be shown, trained and taught to tell the truth rather than lies; to respect the property of others rather than take for themselves; that harming anyone else is unacceptable;
And … to hold and RESPECT THE MIRACLE OF LIFE... whether it is flora or fauna or human, in respectful and highest regard.
All the very best in your decisions, big and small and may God continue to shower his blessings on you and your family and cherished ones.
cheers & ahoy from beautiful Sydney, Australia!!
* Dr. of Muscle/Energy Aesthetics & 💝itality/❤️Ove *
Children need a good framework to build their character on. Your instructions as a parent and the guidance given in Proverbs in the Bible are great tools ⚒️ to harness.
Think 🤔. To Really think, does not only involve the brain 🧠. It involves the mind, the heart ❤️, the spirit and the “essence of life” – 💝itality. It includes the blessings of Wisdom.
How to eat an elephant, yep, That was something my most valued business/life mentor taught me when I first met him.
He asked me one day, he said –
“Paul, young man, how do you eat an elephant?”
Now, that was a question i just couldn’t answer at that time. I said what any 30+ year old would say –
“Fuck if I knew!”
Then, he said something that I always recall when I take on a big project – patience.
“One mouthful at a time, young man … one mouthful at a time, until you’ve eaten that whole elephant.”
There are many elephants in our lives – ourselves, our children, our careers and so forth. One such elephant for me is my son, Zachary. A vibrant, energetic & curious young boy, evolving at a very fast rate. One of my tasks as his dad is to love him, unconditionally. No matter what, always being the wind beneath his wings when he decides to fly.
To keep fueling his curiosity and provide relevant boundaries that allow him to grow and stretch and possibly shift.
It’s New Year’s Eve and I sit and reflect on many moments in my life so far. Christmas came and went and for my family, prayer snd devotion is always a constant reminder to give gratitude through grace, even in times of heightened joy & excitement.
A few months old … in our Family gym I owned & managed for about 7 years. He has no recollection of this period of our lives.
The Basics of almost every field are a vital foundation of Mastery of that field. For example, in physique artistry, it is the basic lifts of – squats, deadlifts and bench presses. In football, it’s being able to catch and pass an oval ball with speed and accuracy in almost any conditions.
In our roles as fathers & dads, teaching our sons to take responsibility early in life will prepare them well for the workplace in the future. I believe two kinds of responsibility should be emphasised:
Zachary has always had a soft spot for knives & swords since he was a baby. I thought 💭 id introduce him to wood carving and help transmute that endless energy & enthusiasm for it into something creative: WOOD CARVING.
I did a bit of this in my childhood with my good mate kindie friend, Dr Manoa during weekend sleepovers at his parents place. We used to carve out creations from discarded pieces of wood.
Dr Manoa and I today. Friendship that’s been strong since kindergarten. Now, a Top Legal advisor to Governments, worldwide.
Patience & care was harnessed in this creative exercise.
A sword from a piece of discarded wood.
My son did his first carving & created his first sculpture: a sword 🗡 from a piece of discarded wood.
Achievement: showed that he could FOCUS 🧘 intently on something else other than Nintendo & Minecraft. Also learned that little strokes with the knife 🔪 gives better control and accuracy.
Result: he started & finished a mini-project and experienced a sense if satisfaction in that. He Created a thing of beauty with his own hands. Was happy with what he produced. I was very impressed with his focus and final output.
He earned 2 hours of entertainment after that.
Little strokes create beauty … just as much as little strokes fell big trees.
Zachary carved a sword 🗡 from a discarded block of wood.
Possible repeat of The Dad in the future? Of 2 x World Champion NATURAL physique artist titles?
Time will tell.
Oh well … it’s a start for him in the art of sculpture. Maybe, one day he will sculpt his body with different tools 🛠(Dumbells & nutrition) to build a world -class NATURAL physique.
The greatest warriors: TIME & PATIENCE (It took me 10 years of physique artistry sculpting to have the BEST NATURAL physique in the world).
A 10 year goal of sculpting the Best Natural physique art. Took me 10 years to achieve this. Patience & mastery of instrument.
The most important and most valuable art he works on is “art of/sculpture of the mind “. Believing that there is Power in the Mind. Believing in the Power of his mind….& that that power comes from God. To understand that there are many forms of power – financial power, horse power, Political power etc. but the most important of all is WILL POWER.
The power to go beyond and achieve what was originally thought of as IMPOSSIBLE. as I tell him and his sister, to …
He helps those who help themselves. He meets ALL believers, half way … in their journey towards realising their desires.
I pray that God continues to shower his blessings on you and your loved ones, those you care & value the most… in 2021 and ….
Cheers & ahoy to YOU wherever you are in this place world
The old cap’n Viking Pirate 🏴☠️ & his gritty Viking Pirate 🏴☠️ prince attempting wood carving foe the first time.
Enjoying Kayaking together in Sydney’s beautiful seas
Admiring ‘beauty’ in design and sound …. and getting in touch with our feminine side: Beauty and truth. Be the role model you want your future leader to be. A big responsibility, yes … but take it. Like a man, a Real Man. All the very best I’m with you.
I love this quote. Increasing your awareness is parameters to having clarity and success in your life.
Light bulb moments.
I have been fascinated with the human body and mind since my early childhood but it really fascinated me in my final years of High School & freshman at University.
I was fascinated with time and had one of my many “light bulb” moments, like hypothesising that “Life was about Energy Management and not Time Management.” Another lightbulb moment came a little later … that we were all spiritual beings encased in a physical capsule.
I had an insatiable desire to read everything I could get my hands on relating to the mind, body and heart, spirit & energy.
I still do.
Life is NOT about Time Management, it is about ENERGY MANAGEMENT. Learn to manage energy better by becoming a better conduit of energy, the better at life, you become.
This machine, this piece of equipment we call the human body really is a masterful wonder of engineering.
My fascination for it has seen me develop a framework specifically to “WORK WITH THE BODY“ , with this magnificent machine unlike the myriads of other ways out there that “works against the human body/mind”.
If you’re anything like me, I’m sure you ask a lot of questions and one may be – “why does the human body seem to wear out well before the age of 100?”
In my youth I used to study 📚my extended family members aged, just on observation alone. Snd I haven’t stopped.
Have you noticed (when you look in the mirror or old photos ) that your hair becomes thinner, your skin wrinkles, your eyesight gets worse snd you become more “hard-of-hearing “. Many (not you of course), lose their intellectual sharpness & memory fails is. Bones wear away and joints become more stiff, teeth fall out and ears grow bigger. Some age faster than others.
Getting old is a great thing to look forward to, isn’t it?
Your body, from a biological perspective, is almost perfect and if you’ve lived past your teens and early twenties, you have reached sexual maturity. Which is the biological aim of life: to survive & reproduce at sexual maturity.
Most people want to live a long life. Through the ages, human beings have been obsessed with immortality. Back in the days of Plato, Socrates & Aristotle, this was a major topic of discussion.
These ancient alchemists were on a continuous search for the Philosopher’s stone … & the quest for ever-lasting life. Of immortality.
Courage is the springboard to success in anything worthwhile.
Fear of death 💀.
The basic fear of human beings is fear of death. But it really fascinates me to see how much people do to themselves every single day to contribute to an early & premature death.
They say that the average life span, is about 75 for men and 80 for women in civilised & western societies.
I do believe that the power to RE-SET & upgrade your cells rests in YOU, the individual. It lies in your ability to take responsibility for your own health, your own life.
Prevention is difficult to sell.
Much of our medical system is focused at the end of a person’s life (unfortunately, our medical system treats people only in the last five to 10 years of their life. Over 80% of the Health dollar is spent on this group … obviously because they are the sickest and require the most intensive treatment).
Doctors and surgeons are seen as the go to answer for – drugs or surgery…. places for solutions for the mess that people create for themselves while living.
I believe Doctors and funds should go to the beginning or first half of people’s lives – preventative medicine. You see, I believe that your illness is your responsibility and the medical profession is there to assist you. People working on the medical industry should have two roles –
I’ve been helping people, help themselves find better versions of themselves over the last 3 decades. My framework of preventative medicine increases people’s awareness of themselves and their lives.
My tailored solutions then allows people to take actions (sufficient and appropriate) to re-engineer their bodies and … their minds, effectively . It teaches them to take better responsibility for themselves. And why? Well, because their life is important.
What I’ve found is that in this day and age, prevention is difficult to sell.
In this day and age, individuals just DO NOT want to work for something worthwhile, even if their life depended on it and if there was a drug or surgery available. They want the fastest, easiest route.
In today’s age of instant answers and instant gratification, strategies and tailored/customised solutions (like mine), that require personal accountability and patience are not appealing. Why? Simply because it requires a lot more effort on the part of the individual and DO NOT FIT into people’s idea of modern day living.
Very sad indeed.
Find the courage to keep going. Find the courage to DO THE RIGHT THING for your life. YOU DESERVE it. Right. The courage rests in you. Take Lead, be the Leader that YOU are.
It’s never too late to start.
You’ve had Your body and mind for many years, you’ve probably abused it a little bit, so far. Don’t fret… it’s never too late to repair any of the damage that has been done to your body.
I have seen miracles happen to the young and old alike. For the old, It is never too late to start a preventative health program. A tailor-made program like I’ve designed for the hundreds of people
It is my belief that preventative strategies can lower your overall Life Risk. Your chance of getting heart attack, strokes or diabetes is reduced, particularly if adopt lifestyle changes for longer periods.
This elderly man, Jim, told me, having bad posture takes away from his Quality of Life
Re-engineer your body and your brain🧠.
I have helped individuals effectively, upgrade their bodies and … their minds. Yes, I have: re-engineer your body and your brain.
A healthy body is a healthy brain 🧠 and a healthy brain is a healthy mind. A healthy mind is a happy life.
Education Precedes Motivation.
You can Upgrade your body …& your mind … like this –
Assess where YOU ARE, NOW – physically, emotionally, spiritually
Assess AGILITY ABILITY.
Develop AGILITY IMMUNITY.
APPLY customised “3-legged stool” LIFESTYLE program
Assess AGILITY ADAPTABILITY.
My first-class preventative lifestyle programs educate & motivate. With > 84% success rate in individuals achieving their original goals or better, independently surveyed over a 12 year period.
I read somewhere a long time ago that –
“Education precedes motivation.”
Love ❤️ YOU, Respect YOU. GIVE to YOU. Live with Dignity. Live SMART. Allow YOU to be Educated with my “3-legged stool”
I believe that Upgrading your body and mind ultimately moves you closer to a happier life. Obviously, there is no “one-size-fits-all” hat 🎩 to body re-engineering as every individual is unique.
The KEY is the consistency and focus in you being able to apply prescriptive actions and adapt your lifestyle accordingly to fit the designed plan.
It is not enough to just KNOW but DON’T DO. It is not enough, still, to just Know and Do. It is vital , instead to KNOW and TO DO … but TO DO, WELL.
ALL the time, not some of the time.
I recall my grandfather saying –
“Seek and ye shall find;
Ask and ye shall receive.”
Don’t wait til it is too late, like > 90% of people. Your life is valuable. The Quality as well as how long you love is important. If you’re looking for healthier, preventative medicine THAT WORKS, seek … me out and you shall find … the answers.
I AM looking forward to seeing and sharing my upgrade formulas with You.
All the very best in your choices,
As Einstein said … everything is energy. It makes logical sense that you need to become a Master at Energy Management, not time management.
I love this quote. Increasing your awareness is parameters to having clarity and success in your life.
My LIFE LIST: to live Better, not just longer.
You may begin with part of my Life list … one that helps lower my overall Life Risk. Taking the necessary actions and giving me peace of mind that my a life Risk is lowered to an acceptable level. Having peace of mind knowing that a healthy heart 💔 & healthy lungs stave off many diseases.
Despite the prevalence of public outcry on the aged – that much has beenfocused on the vast numbers of baby boomers unprecedented toll on our health care system, mainly in the form of dementia & other costly Heath problems…
One of the KEY factors to reducing your LIFE RISK is to work on actively working on nourishment for the body, heart & mind. On helping YOU. This will directly lower the toll on the health care system.
Do you dance? Do you sing? Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moon-light?
Living BETTER, not just LONGER.
I still have faith that more and more people will come to recognise how their lifestyle choices can improve their health span — living BETTER, not just LONGER.
People will, at the very least stay active. And when they realise that exercise is as important for the brain 🧠 as it is for the heart 💓, more and more people will commit to it. I’ve said snd seen that the best exercise for the brain is – exercise.
I’ve got a framework I’ve developed & used to help people over the last 30 years – help themselves, find their best selves.
My fridge magnet. Have courage. Continue to fuel your courage … every single day of your life.
My “3-legged stool “ : a framework that works.
I have a tried and tested framework to life/body/mind re-engineering. A framework that works.
A framework that as a former client of mine (who worked closely with the former President of the United States 🇺🇸, Barrack Obama) Scott simply said –
“your framework is Genius, Paul! It’s simplicity masks it’s complexity.”
“thank you”, I said … it is built on the shoulders of giant thinkers before me. One thing I’ve learned from helping thousands of people over the last 3 decades is : Everyone is different.
It is called the “3-legged stool to self re-engineering “. The first and the leg 🦵I would like to speak about here represents:
Life is NOT about Time Management, it is about ENERGY MANAGEMENT. Learn to manage energy better by becoming a better conduit of energy, the better at life, you become.
After almost 30 years of helping people in & around my lab 🔬 (the gym), Here’s a few reasons I believe the 1st Leg: EXERCISE- keeps you going (& you should keep going until you’re 6 feet under) ….
1) It strengthens the cardiovascular system . Main benefit in the long term is there is less strain on the vessels in the body and the brain 🧠. Basically, the organs and cells don’t have to work very hard.
2) Better management of Energy(glucose is more efficiently & effectively used). The Main benefit here as I see it – exercise increases levels of insulin-like growth factor (IGF-1), which regulates insulin in the body & improves synaptic plasticity in the brain 🧠.
3) Reduces risk of obesity. The Main benefit in long-term: not being overweight halves the chances of developing dementia. So, countless studies show that managing your weight, through smart lifestyle choices is Vital to the health of your brain in the long-term.
4) Raises your tolerance to stress. Exercise makes protein that slows down the ageing process & life stress.
5)Exercise makes you feel good (lifts your mood). Studies show many things – more neurotransmitters, neurotrophins, & connectivity shore up the part of the brain 🧠 (hippocampus) against the atrophy associated with depression & anxiety.
6)Boosts the immune system. Exercise brings “balance & symmetry “ back into your immune system. This helps stop ✋ inflammation & combat disease.
7) Compacts your bones 🦴. It’s never too late to start doing weight training to off-set the on-set of osteoporosis as you age. Largely a preventable disease. Note: by age 60, women lose 30% of their bone mass unless they do weight training & take calcium.
Now, you could probably add more benefits to this list, even write book on its benefits.
Courage is the springboard to success in anything worthwhile.
The RIGHT ENVIRONMENT.
People have asked me about what the secret is to having a “6-pack”. I tell them that there is no “secret”. The key is to increase your awareness of self and creating the “Right Environment “ for you.
How do you know and what do you do to create this “right environment ?” There are a number of ways – by yourself, getting help from someone/something that knows how to diagnose and design solution that is tailored to you.
the latter solution is what I have been doing to help people “build their bridges “ from where they are to where they desire to be. You could say that I have been an “Life-body-mind Re-engineer “ for at least 2 decades.
Become increasingly aware … take actions (sufficient & appropriate) and adapt accordingly. My Triple A to self – development.
If you’re in your fourtees and above, Ask yourself if you would like to lower your Life Risk? Ask yourself If you would like to slow down that ageing rate? Ask yourself if you deserve more love for you? Ask yourself if you can allow you to be more vulnerable and LOVE YOU, more? Ask yourself if you value life and living and if you have the courage to HELP YOU, manage your energy, better. To manage your life, better.
Ask yourself if YOU deserve more respect? More respect from YOU? Ask yourself If you don’t only deserve to die with dignity but more importantly, you deserve to live with dignity?
All elements of my “3-legged stop” is vital for your success in building that bridge from where you are to where you would like to be. If you would like to know more about how I can help YOU, help yourself, achieve something you care about: you living better, not just longer …
contact me. Don’t let the life seep out of you … create the right environment for you to continuously infuse You with VITALITY – the “essence of life”
Also, If you would like a copy of my FREE e-book: “A little book of Vitality: 27 keys to a better life”, just email/contact me.
What actually drives us to DO what MATTERS to us most?
What is it that actually drives us to implement what matters to us most? What do you think? Hunger? Love?
In my experience, it would have to be something that would make you feel more alive, independent of the opinion of others or outside metrics of success. Once you’ve established that, you should then ask yourself the question –
“why haven’t I begun it, yet?”
Personally, I’d like to continue to increase my awareness and most importantly, continue to build my COURAGE/boldness reserves & continue to live a life true to myself, not the life others expects of me.
“And why courage?’ you may wonder.
Well, because without courage, nothing great is ever achieved.
As Vincent Van Gogh said –
“ What would life be if we had no courage to attempt anything.” “
It’s What you need to do. Work at summoning up your courage.
What do you think you would need to do, to Just DO IT?
What is magic to/for you? Do you create magic and use the magic WITHIN YOU.
Sometimes, you just need to Get out of your own way!
To do this & implement it successfully & enjoy the process, you will need to learn (and un-learn irrelevant things) to be more agile. IN order to achieve this and be engaged by it, I believe (for many people) … sometimes, you just need to … GET OUT OF YOUR OWN WAY!
Learn to work with who YOU ARE, BETTER. … build on your strengths and based on the value of your work has provided & will provide … by Limiting your options to ONLY the – “Top 3” so that making quick decisions is easier and …
… allow YOU to move from the Intangible (dream) … to the Tangible (physical form).
So that you can say (at your death-bed) that –
“I tried to honour at least some of my dreams along the way, as I lived my life.”
Appreciate your Uniqueness. if your uniqueness makes you weird, so be it.
Boldness has genius, power & magic in it. DO IT NOW… tomorrow may never come.
Keep fuelling that courage of yours because … I believe, COURAGE/boldness is the greatest tool for realising your/our dreams…. and bringing it into our physical reality.
Many years ago, I bought a fridge magnet a year before realising one of my physical goals/dreams – to be the BEST in the world at my chosen sport of NATURAL physique artistry/bodybuilding almost 15 years ago now. As most of you know, I realised and made that goal a reality … and that goal and those words on the magnet resonates with me…
NOTE: it was exciting & scary to represent your country against the best from other countries in the world and be bold and confident enough to compete and make the Finals (Top 5) in the world.
The magnet (photo attached ) still sits on my fridge and had a quote that Goethe said –
You – a Father, are a Superhero, whether you know it or not. Your children are watching you like a Hawk. Don’t be in a situation where it’s – “do as I say, not as i do”. Their young minds don’t operate like that. They DO AS YOU DO. So, up your game is you have to.
Honour is a gift we give others.
I’m writing this as I do one of my key daily habits – I’m doing “cardio” on a x-trainer and This thought just crossed my mind. It is based on one of the many observations I’ve made of life over the years.
It relates to honour.
There was a time when “honour “ meant a lot.
It meant dedication, integrity, grit and doing the right thing even under trying circumstances. Does it still have importance and appeal? With the proliferation of high profile cases (& not so high-profile friends and family), planted in the news over the last decade or two, it seems …
Maybe it’s the age we’re living in, where no one seems to believe in pleasure delaying, in the value of patience. There is an unbelievable low patience level and it is one of the more silent but influential epidemics.
The word honour seems to have lost a lot of meaning in our culture, modern societies’ insatiable desire for instant and self-gratification.
When does honour mean anything? When it begins by having a perspective and view of something that is beyond & outside of ourselves. When we think of others, first… when we live to serve others, like Jesus did. Honour is a gift we give others.
This is very difficult in our culture where it is about
Usually, children learn about it when they see their fathers & mothers act honourably themselves.
Like genuine love, honour is a gift we give someone. It involves the decision we make BEFORE we put love into action that a person is of high value. In fact love for someone begins to flow once we have made the decision to honour him or here.
As fathers and mothers we give our children the gift of honour by –
extending it first to our parents (if they are still alive);
helping them find value in times of struggle.
recognising our parenting strengths and style.
providing a healthy balance in our homes.
establishing loving boundaries.
building positive loyalties.
offering honour to God.
I turn to a Bible quote I recall from my 8 years as an altar boy in my early childhood and it said –
“A good name is to be worth more than silver and gold.”(Proverbs 22:1).
That means you can “take it to the bank” when dealing with an honourable man. Are you that kind of person? Is your word , bankable?
What do you “see?” How you perceive the world influences your reality. Change your lenses if you need to.
It not only opens doors but it opens hearts too.
I have experienced it and witnessed it too. That is something a very good mentor of mine said –
“Be honourable, ALWAYS. It not only opens doors but it opens hearts as well.”
Lies, like all sins, have no degree of gravity. There’re all equal in the eyes of the Lord. A sin is a sin. Full stop! So-called “white lies” can be a slippery slope for many, as bad habits … like all habits tend to build momentum.
The entry point to anything, whether bad or good, is the first step in that direction.
The habitual slippery slope of lying will destroy your honour. Like gateway drugs, you will never comprehend how addicted you can become to much harder drugs.
A slippery slope, remember.
So, speaking to ALL fathers out there, think about what I’ve just said. Today, if you’ve just begun walking down that road of dishonour, stop 🛑!
It’s not too late to turn back now.
Your children are watching you like a Hawk and they are much more tuned in and smarter than you think. You don’t want to look them in their eyes one day, asking them to forgive or even understand why “you did it.”
Along with beauty, comes strangeness. Embrace your strangeness … your unique ness.
A major destroyer of children.
This is a real major battle for all parents, a fight against a major destroyer of children – their feeling valueless and insignificant. Every day is a battle and an opportunity for you (as a father or mother) to wage this war. Don’t ever neglect building self-worth in your children. No matter how old your children are, it’s never too late from unfolding your hands and honouring them. Consistently applying this may save the heartache of damaged relationships, and they also get a strong foundation to truly value God, themselves and others.
To you and all dads/mums/parents out there, win this war against this major destroyer of children.
Give them the gift of honour.
Don’t make it hard for your children.
Our modern-Day societies love great stories, especially ones that involve a fall from grace, a man or woman or integrity who “gets their hands dirty “.
A loss of honour. In days gone by, that would be considered worse than death.
Our culture eats people up who break their values for short-term gains and the like. Some of these men and women were once morally upright individuals doing their best for what’s right.
Then, they slip….& its a long, long, lonely ride down … Our culture will tell your children to dishonour you, just like everyone else are. But you know, and I know and all dads out there know that your children will truly want to honour you, their father. Their superhero… their dad.
So, do the right thing, ALWAYS. Not some of the time, always.
My questions to all dads – whom do you need to honour today In your life? What do you need today to restore honour to your name?
All the very best in your decisions, men of honour,
until next time,
Like an FM station, just one point off gives you an irritating “shhhh…”
My kids and I with Ruby the Dog. They just adore each other. Choose to spend time with your kids, not ‘quality time’. Keep feeding their Sense of self-worth, every single day. Never stop Giving them the gift 💝 of honour.
One day ... you may realise that the beginning of a New Day … is also the “Death of Yesterday “
I guess it depends on how you hear it;
One day, every cliche’ that you hear will remind you that YOU alone are … here; that you alone came in your this world, alone … and you, alone will go out … alone;
One day, You’ll realize that You didn’t Love yourself, that you thought you did… but you didn’t;
Maybe, you should ask Love 💗 –
“What are you?”
Maybe, one day Love 💕 may reply –
“Can’t you feel me… I’m here … I’m the one ☝️holding your hand reminding you not to forget me …
I’m Life when I’m near … hope, without fear;
I’m the warm feeling in your belly when you don’t know why… I’m the tingle on your skin …by a raindrop …
I’m the beautiful jewel that’s never bought … I’m you … I’ve been YOU, since day one ☝️;
I’m the Knowing when your eyes 👀 meet … your eyes in the mirror and recognise yours”
Does my dog 🐶 “Mr Fuzzy/Fussy cuddles “ love 💗 himself? Is he conscious of that? Probably not, that’s what separates his level of consciousness from us, humans. Learn to harness that consciousness and learn to love YOU better. And don’t let others make you feel bad about doing so. Life is too short, otherwise.
You thought Love was reciprocal…
Think again ..
One day, You may realise that you were searching for love … and strove to love others, looked for others to Love You, and tried to get loved by others.
One Day, you may realise that …
… while searching for Love, You missed the most important person in the world to You: “YOU!” – yourself.
Maybe You thought your lovability came from giving others Love, that it would guarantee You’d get Love back.
Maybe You thought that love 💗 was reciprocal… that if You gave more Love it would get You more.
Maybe You thought that getting others Love would make You worth more, make you feel more valuable.
One day, maybe sooner… maybe, later … but one day, hopefully, you will realise that –
You didn’t know then what You know now: thatYou were lovable from day One.
Kindly tell that “little voice “ in your head that fills you with doubt & guilt to kindly … “Fuck off!” Just like the negative people in your life.