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MARRIAGE: The ULTIMATE TEAMWORK.

The 💝alentine tribe (minus our dog 🐶 – Mr Fuzzy/Fussy cuddles

Marriage is Teamwork.

No matter what a husband or wife happens to be or do, MARRIAGE IS TEAMWORK.

From my experience of being married for almost twenty years now and also from learning from other peoples’ experiences, marriage is a great example of ULTIMATE TEAMWORK.

I would go further to say that, given the high rates of divorce, marriages that last are not just because of teamwork but they have teamwork because they are a TEAM THAT WORKS.

Marriage is not about the hope of WORKING AS A TEAM, it is about two people WHO COME TOGETHER… & FIT … like 6 fits into 9, to make “69”.

Family.

God is an Amazing God.

God is an amazing God.

God gives many things.

God does not give individual gifts 🎁 to frustrate a marriage. No. God gives us unique gifts to ENHANCE the marriage. God does not lead two people into a marriage to see “sparks fly”, pulling a husband & wife in opposite directions.

No… God, leads them into marriage to blend and maximise their strengths, their usefulness.

Whenever this happens in my relationship with my wife, I pray to God for his help…. To give me the strength, courage & wisdom to make good decisions.

This is where our faith in God helps us during turbulent times in the marriage. There are many forces (internal and external) that work hard to tear a marriage apart.

If you believe in your marriage & what it represents is important to you, ask for God’s guidance and work hard to keep your marriage .

My beautiful wife of almost 20 years now. My love for this human being keeps increasing every single day.

The most difficult Act of Art of all.

As I see it, much of the problems & tension that occur in marriages comes from the INABILITY to BALANCE the ACT of GIVING to your spouse /other while retaining a SENSE OF SELF.

Mastering this balance, i believe is the most difficult ACT OF ART of ALL in life. I am still trying to master this after almost 2 decades.

In other words, the tension comes from grasping or holding onto what we consider our INDIVIDUALITY. I believe no matter what our gifts, talents or personalities… when they are given To god.

With strong belief in God, he will work & blend it all out and provide balance, because that is just what God will do.

No other team that you are a part of in life – business, sport, religion, politics etc … will ever be as IMPORTANT or benefit & challenge you like a successful marriage.

It takes WORK… a lot of real hard work. It is the complete & ULTIMATE example of TEAMWORK in life.

With God (part of the team, too).

Here’s a few questions for you:

1. Has there been a time when you put one of your individual goals “on hold “ so your spouse could pursue a dream?

2. Was the eventual outcome positive for you?

Until next time …

Yours in care, compassion & trust,

P.

Here we are … my beautiful wife and I. at a dinner party.
Loving & love in the Family provides key input for Balance.
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The Greatest Leadership Statement ever made.

The world has and has had many good Leaders in all fields but very few GREAT Leaders.

I believe The greatest leadership statement ever made was made by the greatest Leader & psychologist that ever walked this earth: JESUS CHRIST.

Turning to his disciples he said –

Come, FOLLOW ME.” (Luke 18:22)

It was not an order.

It was more of an invite, not a requirement. Jesus, gave his disciples a choice … he gave them the freedom to decide for themselves.

He gave them the option to say “no”

In other words, he allowed them to keep their dignity. He gave them respect. As you know, the “no” Answer is perhaps the greatest expression of self respect … the greatest expression of dignity possible.

So … as a Christian… as a believer, like I am, let me ask you some questions :

⁃ do you follow him?

⁃ are you going to follow him?

⁃ Why / why not?

If Beauty is balance & symmetry.
If Beauty is truth. Then, it follows that truth is balance & symmetry. To be balanced & Symmetrical is to be God-like.

Ask, Seek & Knock.

Many individuals do not like to ask questions. One reason is that they don’t want to depend on someone else. To ask, makes them feel a sense of humiliation.

Personally, I’ve been asking questions since I was a toddler, some of which certainly makes me look like a fool. My insatiable CURIOSITY gets the better of me all the time as I don’t really ask questions for answers but for better understanding.

Here’s the thing, To ask, you may run the risk of indicating:

⁃ You don’t know.

⁃ You ran out.

⁃ You don’t understand.

⁃ You’re not prepared.

⁃ You need more information.

⁃ You came up short.

⁃ You can’t find it.

⁃ You failed.

⁃ You’re not sure.

As Christians, we should never be afraid or shamed of asking … of asking questions. Not asking questions, undermines our need for God.

Jesus says we should ask … we should knock … we should seek. And why?

Because asking puts us back in alignment with God. It assumes a “two-way relationship “… a NEED-Relationship with him. You could say a “hand-to-mouth” spiritual existence.

We live in modern Societies that tries to satisfy every desire … with instant gratification. Over time, this constant rush to fill every felt need of the individual … rips … steals the soul of a person.

We eventually get our soul back but … at a price.

“And what is this price?” You may ask

I will answer that question with a question: What do you think is the “price” you pay … for losing your soul?

Balance & symmetry brings you closer to harmony … to beauty …closer to infinity. Just like mathematics does

Questions. For God & From God.

Can you live without knowing the answers to questions? Many are simply not willing to live with questions.

To have questions, brings down your aura. It leaves us feeling vulnerable, weak, even needy.

Questions open up holes to others where they may not have perceived to be… it raises doubts with regards to our theology or our lifestyle.

If you’re anything like me, you have many questions about life and living. You have questions for God and seek answers from him.

Sometimes God answers us with questions . Sometimes, we get questions from God. questions that may leave us humbled, awed, speechless, weak and believing.

Believing, not because we’ve Found the answer but because we’ve seen God.

I have more questions now than when I started. I’m sure you do, too. That does not matter … that is not the important point.

What matters … is that you, me… we … christians … SEE GOD.

It is only when we allow ourselves to SEE GOD that we discover the TRUEST ANSWER to ALL our questions.

And do you know what the truest answer is?

Well, It is to … WORSHIP HIM.

We must ALL follow him. We must ALL follow the man who said the greatest Leadership statement ever made –

Come.. follow me.”

I know I AM. Who’s with me?

May God continue to shower his blessings down on you

Until next time,

Christians believe in Jesus Christ, their saviour. Do you believe in him? DO you believe in God?
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The importance of the choice of LANGUAGE in having a HEALTHY SELF-EXPECTANCY.

I AM. I an Entrepreneur of IMAGINATION. Through Mastery of Self, I am able to be an Agent of Creative Destruction to allow the release of new ideas … new thinking … and a new Meaning. Meaning is the NEW MONEY.

Coaching conversations..

Over the years I have listened to many individuals. Listened to their stories.

Over the years I think I have had in excess of twenty thousand conversations with people of all ages. From teens to ninety-year olds.

Over the years I have had many coaching conversations. In these coaching conversations, I have helped increase individuals awareness of how their perception of events in their lives either propel them forward or hold them back.

I have listened to others and the way in which the stories they tell ourselves have the power to hold us back or propel us forward.

As an example …

The bottom line is that I wouldn’t be the person I am today if my hearing hadn’t been terrible when I was young. Neither would you.

This is why taking the time to properly frame our narratives and the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves can be so critical.

Keep your dreams alive . Snd if you’re going to dream … Dream BIG. You serve no one by being and thinking small. Think BIG!

Re-frame in away to move forward ..

Self-pity for being dealt a bad hand is easy.

Self-awareness is what brings with it empowerment and insight.

This, important first step is sometimes hard.

The first turns your past into an anchor, while the second turns it into the wind that fills your sails and keeps you moving forward.

Is there some piece of your story, personal or professional, that you’ve been able to reframe in a way that moves you forward, instead of holding you back?

Wonderful question for all to ponder. I’m one of the most self-aware person you will ever meet, but that is nothing new to me as I have been this way since I was a kid (from the adults who knew me in my youth).

Everything happens for a reason. Success is not an accident. It is based on the Aristotelian Principle of CAUSALITY. Today, we call it – “the Law of CAUSE & EFFECT.”

Cowboy 🤠 House.

Here’s one I’d like to share – I was raised by my grandparents as my biological Dad died when I was 4 years old, trying to save a person from downing … and was overpowered by the victim and drowning with that person). My biological mother was only 16 and had a choice to have an abortion but I thank her and God that she didn’t.

Her decision to give me life has allowed me to not only live but to do what I do – predominantly, helped people, help themselves building their bridges from where they are to where they desire to be over the last 3 decades.

Anyways, I grew up in a large extended family – grandparents, grand uncles and aunties, uncles, aunties, cousins and siblings and … visitors and extended family visiting.

My home was always full and was always noisy. Our neighbours used to call our home – the “Cowboy House”.

We didn’t have much of anything – food (there were no less than 10 people to feed every single day … and I do not know how my grandparents managed to do this), didn’t have much material possessions (my grandmother used to sew my school uniforms) … but the home certainly had a lot of love.

There was a lot of storytelling and sitting around talking almost every night. It was just part of the home … part of the culture.

Because there was so much noise, most kids would not be able to concentrate/focus. But, I told myself way back in early Primary School that I will teach myself to study/do school work/read in … noise.

My teachers couldn’t understand how a kid (me) could get Top Academic Results every year.

Most kids/people need peace and quiet to FOCUS, so we are told. “How does Paul do it?” I would over hear some teachers say. In my adult life, I have continued to learn/read/focus in any environment, no matter how noisy or ridiculous is.

The only photo I have as a baby with my biological mum. One of my 3 Mums in my life.

Focus on what you can control

I remember my grandfather telling me many things (he was a very wise man) … saying something to the effect –

“Paul, focus on what you can control … and do the best with what you’ve got … don’t be part of the problem, always be part of the solution”.

I’ve always applied that in my life, not focusing on insufficient resources and constraints .,. But on HOW I can do better with what I have. That philosophy along with many others, has helped me create the life I’ve always imagined and realise short-term and long-term goals.

Growing up in an family environment that had very limited resources (except for love … the home was always infused with LOVE), has allowed me to almost always have an overall attitude of personal optimism and enthusiasm.

I completely understand the psychosomatic relationship – psyche and soma – mind and body … better than most (hence sculpting a Physique worthy of representing Australia at 2 x World Natural Physique Championships and placing in the Top 5 in consecutive years).

I am fully aware of how the body is the physical manifestation of the mind or in other words, the body expresses what the mind is concerned with. I’m a strong believer that life is many things … and one of which is that life is a self-fulfilling prophecy…. That you usually get what you expect.

My ‘tough’ upbringing has allowed me to develop a healthy self-expectancy and eliminated all forms of excuse from my vocabulary as … I expect to win, almost all the time. I have no doubt the so-called ‘luck’ is the intersection of preparation and awareness.

Leadership ability begins in the home … children learn character building in the home Be the best character you can be … for YOU, first .. and then for your kids my two children a number of years ago

Life … a very real game but not a gamble.

I look at life as a very real game .. but not a gamble.

Part of what I have done over the last 3 decades is help people, help themselves build their bridges. I have learned and taught many things. It seems that every individual tends to receive what he or she expects in the long run.

From my experience and deducing from other people’s experiences in my life so far … it would appear that you may or may not get what is coming to you, or you may or may not get what you deserve – BUT YOU WILL nearly always get what you expect.

As someone who has mastered the art of body re-engineering (building muscle and reducing body fat to < 4%), believe me when I say, there is an intricately close connection between your mind and body … a negative thought can cause your ‘look’ (that you get judged on) to go from excellent (Top 5 and finalist) to awful.

I’ve learned and mastered much of the ‘mind-body-heart-soul’ interface connections and one important one is this – mental obsessions have physical manifestations. Basically, you BECOME WHAT YOU FEAR – you get what you expect – you are that which you expect to be!

Here’s the thing – since all individuals are responsible for their own actions and cause their own effects, optimism then, is a choice.

Choose well, my adult friends.

Balance & symmetry brings you closer to harmony … to beauty …closer to infinity. Just like mathematics does

Optimism, Enthusiasm, Faith & Hope.

What is needed is : continual fueling of – OPTIMISM, ENTHUSIASM, FAITH & HOPE.

Each is a synonym for – having a HEALTHY SELF-EXPECTANCY.

So, my question to you (if you’ve made it this far) is –

1. Do you have a healthy self-expectancy about things in your life?

2. Do you expect the best for you – in life and as a way of life?

3. Do you look at problems/constraints as opportunities?

With regards to question 3 above, try this little exercise and let me know your answers –

Make a list of your KEY problems/constraints –

> the ones that block your professional and personal fulfillment.

> Next, write a one-or-two sentence definition of each problem/constraint.

Now, rewrite the definition, only this time view it as an opportunity or exercise to challenge your creativity and ingenuity (some refer to it as ‘re-framing’).

Here’s a tip: view the solution as you would if you were advising one of your best friends.

So, where does your thoughts stand in relation to your Self-Expectancy now?

Write in and tell me all about it.

Thank you

Yours in care, compassion & trust,

Paul

A fridge magnet 🧲 I bought almost 20 years ago. Practise this.

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DO YOU KNOW?

Believe. Embrace Creative Destruction. You never know what you’ll discover.

Here’s a little poem wrote (unedited) … I write as I think 💭… here we go –

Do you know?

That ..

To know is to not know?

That

To know but not know that you know

Is ..

akin to one who sleeps all day and so does not know

But …

To not know and not know that you not know

Well …

That is as good as one who is dumb-shit, you know!

And …

The last standing, lone warrior

The last one ☝️ …

The last one ☝️ we all need to stand for

And follow

Now.

That is the one that knows

The one ☝️ that “sees” what others do not see

The one ☝️

The last one standing

Knows that he knows

That lifts all spirits of those who believe to and fro

To be cheered for again and again

Because

He is one who cheers for all

And stands for all

Not because it is his right to do so

No

Because it is the right thing to do

You know…

Again and again

For

He is one who knows that he knows

In a sea of ones who think they know

And

do not know that they do not know

For

They think 💭 they see and say the right words to pretend that they see

But to no avail

Because

Truth always shines through

Always

Like the sun ☀️ will rise and set

You should follow the one because that is your best bet

To find your truth

Your beauty

What do you think 🤔?

Do you think 🤔 you know?

Which one are you?

I don’t know

Do you know?”

– GURU Paul 💝alentine –

My gift 💝 to you, fellow Insta tribe-within-a-tribe -within – a….

So… there you have it … a few thoughts from me … what say you?

Have no doubt. Help yourself first. You are more than just YOU… God will meet you half way … he ALWAYS does. All you ahve to do is: BELIEVE.
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White Lies & Black Lies.

White & Black Lies should be minimised in families.

Withholding Truth

G’day & Bula & good morning/evening to YOU wherever YOU are in this beautiful planet 🌏!

I was thinking 🤔 about life, as I usually do & the concept of “truth” in particular and lies as well as they seem to be two sides of the same coin.

Lying 🤥, we all do it and have done it over the course of our lives so far.

We lie to others & we lie to ourselves. I guess we could split lies up in to two main types:

1. White lies

2. Black lies.

The 💝alentine tribe (minus our dog 🐶 – Mr Fuzzy/Fussy cuddles. As parents we try to be as truthful to our children.

White Lies & Black Lies.

A black Lie, as I see it, could be defined as a statement we make we know is false. A white lie is a statement that we make that is not in itself false but that leaves out a significant part of the truth.

I think white lies can often be more destructive than black-lying. Think 💭 about it, we all do it almost every single day of our lives , as we consider white-lying more socially acceptable in many of our relationships because we “don’t want to hurt people’s feelings.”

Yet, people complain that their social relationships are generally superficial. Is this the right thing to teach our kids – that, as parents, part of being loving is feeding them heaps of white lies?

Is it right and truly beneficial for the children to not be told the cold truths about matters of life? Should parents continue (& I see this happening every day and have witnessed in many families over the last 3 decades of keen interest) “white-lying?”

So, parents tell each other everything but feed their children white lies. For example, that they fought with each other the night before about their relationship, or that their dad resents their grandparents for their manipulativeness & lack of caring over the years or that mum has a medical problem.

Rational behind white lies is – a loving desire to protect & shield their children from unnecessary worries.

The thing is , the children will know anyway.

Her heart ❤️ (& his) belongs to me … for now.

Protection or deprivation?

The reason to protect the child/children is, at best, a genuine form of misguided love 💕. Protected from what?

Is it really helping & protecting the child/children? Or is it detrimental? I think it would be more the latter.

White-lying is not protection but deprivation!

Children are deprived of many things –

⁃ knowledge about the situation

⁃ Their parents

⁃ Their grandparents

⁃ Life

⁃ People in general

So, ultimately, it comes down to what “version of the truth” are we willing to share with the world?

Can you see “me” in my son? Can you see you in your son?

Is Love the answer … is it Discipline with Discipline?

It also comes down to love and how we define love for ourselves. To tell white lies, do we love more than not telling white lies?

How do you define “love?”

This is a hard one ☝️ as love 💗 is just too large, too deep even, in my opinion, to be truly understood or measured or limited within a framework of words.

The bible tries to explain what love is but I don’t think 🤔 or at least I haven’t come across a truly satisfactory definition of love.

I know what love is not!

Contrary to what we’ve been told , love is not a feeling.(I will elaborate on what l mean another time)

I think love comes down to the desire to nurture one’s own or another’s spiritual growth. And this takes discipline, lots of discipline.

Discipline that needs to be constantly disciplined.

Discipline with discipline!

What do you think? Food for thought 💭.

End of the week … hang in there and continue moving forward in the roles you play in your life.

Gotta go now … have a great day!

Cheers 🍻!

– GURU Paul 💝alentine –

My gritty Viking pirate 🏴‍☠️ princess 👸
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What does IT all mean ?

What’s on my mind?

Here is one ☝️ loooong thought 💭, posing questions –

I love this quote. Increasing your awareness is parameters to having clarity and success in your life. SEARCH. Become the BEST ‘searcher’ you can be. One day .. you may find ALL the answers you’re seeking for YOUR questions to give ‘meaning’ to your life. A wonderful book says – “Seek and ye shall find; Ask and ye shall receive.” True.

What does IT all mean… ?


Me, you, everyone else … everyday?
The Everyday.
What does IT all mean?
The empty words .. the useless thoughts … the lies we tell ourselves.. the lies we tell others … the ineffective actions.. the roads, the cars, the buildings, the bright lights … everyday …
The Everyday.
The thing we call and hang on to called …
Life.
The Life…
… we thought we had … the life we now live … the life we thought we would have…
The Life …
we would like to Create.
What does it all mean?
When does Life begin?
In the womb ?
… at conception?
Why?
When does laughter really begin?
In the womb?
At conception?
Why?
Life …
When does life end?
When does laughter end?
Does life end when laughter ends … or is it the other way round?
Does it matter?
Does IT begin with the rise of the sun ☀️.. everyday?
Does IT end with the setting of the sun 🌞.. everyday?
Is the Sun our true measure of time?
Is the sun our pendulum of …
Life?
What does IT all mean?
Where does our “time” go?
Why do we think being “busy“ is important… is right?
What about what’s left?
Who gets what’s left?
Of time … of
Life.
Why should there be a “waste” of time, when you, me, no one … can control time?
Who makes that judgement?
Is it better to fill our time with laughter?
Why? How so?
What do you believe?
Do you believe… that you’re the INFINITE?
Why?
Why not?
Do you believe you’re the culmination of each and each & every improbable moment that led to your existence?
And what about the SCARS you carry?
Do you wear them with pride? With honour?
Like badges you’ve collected along your path … your way?
For ALL to see?
Why?
Why not?
What are you hiding? Who are you hiding it from?
Does it IT really matter?
You hesitate?
Don’t!
Don’t even allow any of your future precious moments be taken up by “looking down on yourself “
There are enough people in the world who would gladly do this – “put you down … “
So, don’t do it to yourself.
It’s not worth your …
Life ..
That is THE INFINITE.
YOU are … The INFINITE.
So…
What does IT all mean… anyway?
What abyss of time does IT fill?
IT …
The Life…
“What does IT all mean?”
I curiously ask…
Anyone? “

– GURU Paul –

So, there you go … a slice of my thoughts 💭 –

💝alentine 💝itality 💝itamins…. For life.

Stay strong. Harness your courage.

Yours in iron, muscles 💪 & 💝itality,
P.

Try … to be wise. Success is the result of being just a little bit Wiser, not necessarily, intelligent, compounded over time. How wise are you?

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My LOYAL friend who FILLS UP My SENSES.

Do you think 🤔 this is an “Angry look?”. Why? Why not? What does your angry look, look like?

Anger, my friend.

Why has society increasingly frowned on Anger?

Why has society demonised anger? Why is it that we (especially Men) cannot and not encouraged to “get angry?” This is hammered into men right from when we are toddlers. Why? Why have we only focused on the destructive results of anger?

It is just as much a valid emotion as being happy, sad, excited, joyful etc.

I have found Anger to be a friend.

Yes, that’s right, he has been a great friend. Not a lovey-dovey friend, not a particularly nice friend, far from being a gentle friend. No, anger … is a very, veery very LOYAL friend.

Anger has always been there with and FOR “me”. Anger loyalty reminds me with ease when i have betrayed myself enough. It is there to stop anyone or anything from taking advantage of me, beyond what is reasonable.

“Reasonable “ here would refer to my imaginary boundaries/tolerance limits of certain suffering.

To me, Anger is fuel. This is a KEY aspect of the power of a loyal friend.

Anger,

I love this quote. Increasing your awareness is parameters to having clarity and success in your life. SEARCH. Become the BEST ‘searcher’ you can be. One day .. you may find ALL the answers you’re seeking for YOUR questions to give ‘meaning’ to your life. A wonderful book says – “Seek and ye shall find; Ask and ye shall receive.” True.

This friend loves me.

This friend LOVES ME.

And, I have come to love this friend, all the way back to consciously recognising him when I was about 9 years old.

Yes, it is a form of power… a powerful energy. When we feel it, we almost always want yo do something about it – hit someone, throw something, break or smash something, punch a wall or spew out profanities to the person.

Why do we do everything to it … except LISTEN to it. I mean, we are taught to … deny it, bury it, hide it, lie about it, medicate it, ignore it or simply muffle it.

Why don’t we just allow ourselves to feel and express it just like we do with other feelings?

Anger not only summons courage, but it points the finger and shows the way… an alternative way. To me, anger is a sign of health … good 💝itality.

Unlike what most of modern societies espouse, I believe anger is a good thing. It means you’re alive. Anger is part of our inner voice … it is meant to be listened to.

Not ignored.

As fuel, we can embrace the energy of anger to turbo-boost our actions to where our anger points us. Here’s the catch that many struggle with – anger is meant to be ACTED UPON, not ACTED OUT.

Highly likely if you’re one of these, you’ll certainly have a healthy relationship with your friend – Anger.

It awakens me.

Re-read that last sentence again. Let it sink in.

Every time I get angry, it reminds me that I am being courageous and expressing something that is pushing me towards my perceived boundaries. Should I tolerate it, extend the boundaries or … resist.

It AWAKENS me.

It is a a tsunami o that annihilates and with that destruction, signals that death 💀 of our old life. Anger is the springboard that springs you into your new life.

To me, anger is envigorating. It helps INFUSE me with the “essence of life” – 💝itality!

It is a tool, and like all tools, when used in the appropriate manner, allows you to CREATE something with it. It is not something to MASTER. Anger, instead should be something used as a resource .. to be tapped in to and drawn upon.

For example, I have used my loyal gym training partner & friend – “Anger” to accomplish record-breaking lifts & intensity in my workouts . He has always been there. He helps me “climb mountains” and achieve small goals in the gym. As a tool, I TRANSMUTE my loyal friend, Anger into the various mediums of Art that I express my love through.

Anger, my loyal friend, has also been the wind under my wings when I need to summon courage to fly.

I cannot live with my loyal friend.

I need him.

Every single day.

Anger, I pray 🙏 that you visit me again. Soon. I need you to fill up my senses. As John Denver sings in his song “Annie” –

You fill up my senses,

Like a night in a forest;

Like mountains in springtime,

Like a walk in the rain;

You fill up my sensors,

Come fill me again;

Come let me love you,

Let me give my love to you;

Let me drown in your laughter,

Let me die in your arms;

Let me lay down beside you,

Let me always be with you;”

And you should, too.

Embrace your Anger. Make him your friend.

Dance with him. Get to know him again, if you have to.

Let him point and … show you THE WAY.

Thank you

Until next time,

P.

Maybe all the answers to your questions lie within YOU. Your mind, your consciousness. Maybe, it is not about seeking answers but simply asking more questions. Maybe questions are asked simply for discussion and debate … to help fuel our capacity to RE-IMAGINE … a better future. A future that is NOT based on the doors of the past…/ future based on alternate possibilities of the future. A Future based on the future, not past.
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What is your MESSAGE to the world 🌎… when you leave this world?

My grandfather. My dad.

I was raised as a son by grandfather.

He was my grandfather. My Dad.

He died when I was 19. Six years after his wife, my grandmother died.

I spent a big part of early childhood with my grandfather. He didn’t say much but he had many little “coaching conversations” when appropriate (I later realised what he was doing after he died in my late teens).

At University (almost 30 years ago now whilst doing my second degree in Accounting/Business Management ), I read a book by the author Ken Blanchard called “the one minute manager”. I realised then, that the management style my grandfather was using in relation to raising me and the family household, was the same as what the author was espousing in the book.

I cry. I cry for my Dad. I cry inside. I cry for many things. I cry … invisible tears. Tears that would fill multiple Olympic-sizes swimming pools. I cry for all those suffering from injustices in this world 🌎. I cry out for justice. From God.

A Man’s Man.

The best manager I have ever worked for was the CEO/Managing Partner of a Top 20 Accounting & Business Advisory. I was there for about 3 years and was some of the BEST years working as an “employee “.

This man, was a Man’s Man … a Clint Eastwood demeanour with a Tom Hanks (heart .. when appropriate). His physical presence was intimidating. He was a former Australian ranked boxer and his reputation for results preceded him.

Everyone was scared shitless of him. They trembled in their seats when they heard him coming down the passages and everyone avoided him.

Accept me.

I found him fascinating and I loved him and his management style. I thought about why (after I left) and it was because he reminded me of my grandfather.

I didn’t buy into the fear and the water-cooler stories about him that became part of the Firm’s Legendary stories. So, I decided to “get to know him”.

Beauty & Ugliness entwined. there is no beauty without the ugly. there is no right, without the wrong. There is no particle without the wave. There is no logic without the insane. There is no ying, without the yang. Learn to embrace BOTH SIDES OF YOU …& seek BALANCE & SYMMETRY. Through & with GOD.

No need for Sir, call me Bob …

As he walked by the cubicles in the morning, I would yell out – “Good morning Mr E…!” The other staff couldn’t believe it… I actually spoke out snd greeted him.

The first time … I would hear his footsteps pause and … then continue. The following morning, I did the same. He did the same.

On the third day .. he stopped and then said –

“Who is that?”

I stood up from my cubicle and replied –

“Paul ❤️alentine, sir!”

He laughed and said –

“No need for Sir, call me Bob... snd a good morning to you, too.”

From then on, each time he walked passed by Cubicle, he would call out my name and we would end up having chats. Matter of fact, he preferred me to handle many of his clients and over time, we would become very good friends.

It got to stage where, he would only allow me to interrupt him in any meeting he was in. No one else in the Firm could do that. There was a level of TRUST that he had in me that no one else got.

When he had to “Sign off” on Reports and Files … he would go through others’ files with a fine-tuned comb, asking many questions. With mine, he just wanted me to give him the “gist” or executive summary (usually one page of the Risks and my personal assessment)

He would always ask me one question –

“Are you happy with me signing Paul?”

I would say yes or no.

He would act accordingly.

Who are “YOU?” Learn to love ❤️ YOU, first.

The One-Minute Manager.

The “one-minute managed” approach is to be very FIRM in your values & principles snd DO NOT compromise on INTEGRITY. EVER.

This is communicated EFFECTIVELY. There is no ambiguity. … ALWAYS communicated CONSISTENTLY, CLEARLY and CONCISELY.

Integrity is what most Good Leaders have. But, RE-INFORCED integrity is what GREAT Leaders have. They NEVER sacrifice their MORALS & ETHICS in ALL that they do & say and say they do.

That is the One-Minute Manager…. On Enthusiasm Turbo-Boost. That is what the world needs right now … more GREAT LEADERS in all KEY areas of life.

“What is your message ?” I ask.

What is the message you leave to the world, when you … leave this world?

The one-minute manager approach primarily relates to the FEEDBACK being TIMELY and SPECIFIC. For example, when I fuck up with something on a client, I would hear his footsteps come towards my seat. I would feel his presence snd his hand rest on my shoulder (as I looked at my computer screen). I could sense his frustration snd he would say –

“Paul, you fucked up. Learn from it. Don’t do that again”

And then he was off. He was the first to reprimand me and “pull me in line” as soon as the incident occurred.

The reverse is also true. When I did a great job and exceeded clients expectations, I would hear those same footsteps again …

His hand on my shoulder, looking in my eyes and saying –

“Great job Paul, well done. Keep it up, son! Take the afternoon off!”

My salary increases in 6-monthly reviews were in the top and I had one of the best corner cubicles in the Firm. Many other staff were jealous but … I learned that TRUST is one of the foundation stones of any relationship.

I’ve almost always adopted this Management style in almost all my dealings with people, as an employee, managing groups/teams .. and as an Employer, managing egos.

Do you trust – YOU?

Out of interest, what are your top 3 to these :

1. What 3 words describe your Vision for your business?

2. Do you believe in YOU? 3 strengths you have as a Leader?

3. Do you TRUST “you?”

4. Do have a need to be “liked” by everyone? Do you have a need to be “agreeable “ with everyone?

Again….

What is YOUR MESSAGE?

This is one of the KEYS to almost ALL successful communication to any audience: know your message.

Now … snd when you leave this earth.

All the very best,

Until next time,

P.

Have the courage of a Tiger 🐯. Do what is RIGHT, Always. Live. Die. With Dignity.
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History, Family & Storytelling … & Torch Bearing.

With my gritty Viking Pirate 🏴‍☠️ Intelligent, caring & compassionate daughter, Olivia. She has heard me say many stories … over and over again.

There is Power💥 in Storytelling.

I’ve always loved storytelling.

I remember sitting with adults when I was a kid, Listening to their stories. They would say –

“Paul, why don’t you go and play with your cousins & friends outside”

I would reply –

No, there will be time to play with them later”

I’ve listened to hundreds of other people’s stories when I owned & managed my Family Gym for 7 years.

I love 💕 telling stories.

I believe there is power in storytelling.

My wife and kids. I Storytell until they get fed up… then I know, they know.

It begins in the home.

It begins in the Home…. Practising the art of Storytelling, that is.

Home is where the foundation of storytelling starts. I recall listening to my dad & his close friend’s tell stories around the Kava bowl. In the home, I got a strong 💪 foundation… Of a past that lends my existence a place, a sense of belonging, a historical context.

Home is where stories get passed on for generations. I have continued with this 💝alentine tradition. My two kids can retell the stories I tell .. because they have heard them countless times. And as my daughter says –

Dad, it keeps changing all the time”

And I say –

Aaaahhh… yes, my dear … that is where facts and imagination fuse in the optimum place”

Home is where I was told that I am built like & physically intelligent like my grandfather, Ben Valentine. A powerful & skilful National heavyweight boxing champion, going undefeated for 3 years in his prime.

Home is where I heard stories of my quirkiness from early age & my creative & innovative nature in my early youth. I heard stories of my country of birth through the filter of my own genealogy.

Struggles, family migrations, family triumphs, as well as ancestral successes & failures were taught to me through the history of my 💝alentine Family.

In my Home now, it is a place where I build my own legacy: through my love 😍 for history & storytelling, I have shared & will share more stories I was told in my youth with my children.

Always, adding my generation’s story to this 💝alentine Novel in progress. I’ve always believed the REAL histories of families aren’t the records of births, deaths & marriages. No, to me …

… they are the stories told after dinner, while having chocolate or dessert. So full and satisfied.

For i have learned many things so far, and one important one is the importance of LEGACY.

Legacy is fueled by US… in our family. It is fueled by ME. And all this evolves from our history… our family stories passed down …

As it is …

Our IDENTITY. Our ROOTS.

Balance & symmetry brings you closer to harmony … to beauty …closer to infinity. Just like mathematics does

Tell it to your children…

I found a passage from the Bible:

“Tell it to your children,

And let your children tell it to

Their children,

And their children to the next

Generation.”

– Joel 1:3, NIV

I tell my kids that one day they will bear the 💝alentine torch 🔦. They will continue to write their chapters if their lives through their storytelling.

Knowing that they have a very strong identity and they will continue to shine the torch 🔦 and build on the legacy that they inherited…

Through the strong foundation of the 💝alentine Family history through storytelling.

I am still the current Torch Bearer of the 💝alentine Family and I make a toast to all future Torch Bearers of my family and all families …

Carry the Torch with pride & Live & Die with dignity.

I love 💕 you, ALWAYS.

Yours in care, compassion & trust,

– Paul e 💝alentine –

Me.
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What is PURPOSE to you?

Embrace Love. BE Loving. BE, Love.

To GIVE is to RECEIVE.

For some, life can feel empty if they don’t find or grasp a higher calling… a “purpose” in life. These are the people who seek for answers in all kinds of places, some of which would be less than ideal.

Here is the thing about these types: They know they are looking for something, but they don’t really know what it is. Almost like a headless chook.

They have lost their zest for life … that essence of life, I call Vitality.

To me, purpose gives the Individual, hope … the strength to continue past obstacles and unexpected changes we face every day. In some views of life, hope is all we really have.

To find Purpose, I believe one has to find it WITHIN… but get inspiration, EXTERNALLY, from others.

Everyone looks to better themselves & strive to live a BETTER LIFE. Most think that to do this, they need to only acquire more VALUABLES.

Stop ✋!

Change your viewpoint: life should not be about acquiring more Valuables, instead, should be about making yourself more VALUABLE. We are alive on this planet to primarily, GIVE or express ourselves through sharing, in some creative outlet.

Believe in love 😍. Give love. Receive love. Do all thoughts & actions with love.

For me, it is GOD.

Success, like happiness, cannot me pursued. Release all desires to achieve success as a self-promoting goal/target. This route, taken by many will not give you the opportunity to live a FULL LIFE. It won’t bring you full success.

Success, true success, in any field, only comes through the pursuit of something greater than you … an ideal… a standard that allows you to surrender to a higher power.

For me, it is GOD.

Life’s purpose does not require intense cognitive power. It is not something that you can THINK your way to discovering. Thinking leads to overthinking, which is what many in this left-brain dominated modern societies celebrate – should I try this? What if it turns to failure? Would this work? What if it does not bring income? and leads to non-action or procrastination.

From my experience, I can gracefully admit and share that there is NO “ONE WAY” … THE WAY for me was not Found by simply looking for it… but by DOING IT… by LIVING what I LOVE TO DO.

We all have a light that helps us see as we journey through the paths we choose in life. My light is God. What is yours?

This Diamond called CLARITY.

Success, in life (& any pursuit in life) comes to those who face their fears and TRY NEW THINGS… without being glued to the end result. What you get, then, is something that is a KEY foundation stone to your building of success: CLARITY.

If is only when you take on the role of the VIKING or PIRATE 🏴‍☠️ in you, that you sail out to EXPLORE uncharted seas. It is through exploration that you discover this gem … this diamond called CLARITY.

Results come only with repeated ACTIONS, done with sufficiency and appropriateness. Wondering and dwelling on what to do and not actually “doing”, pushes you even further away from reaching your ultimate purpose in life.

In finding my path, for example, I stopped watching tv many, many years ago. And as modes of communication increased, I taught myself to block more of these modes out. Just as I manage what I eat for my body for optimal physique conditions, I manage input into my brain.

I simply began, being more LOVING.

Beginning with me, myself snd i snd the Holy Trinity within me : the Father, the Son & the Holy Spirit. I did and tried everything – fine-line sketching, body sculpting, writing poetry, writing books, photography, blogging, podcasting & public speaking…

I even tried doing NOTHING…. Snd appreciating the emptiness of nothing…. Ams trying to create SOMETHING FROM NOTHING.

I learned and discovered my TRUE PASSION and that is … speaking and sharing NUGGETS OF VITALITY.

There is now CLARITY, where confusion existed. There is PURPOSE where once was WONDERING and over-thinking.

The WAY to find your purpose is NO WAY. It all comes down to energy .. to that life source … to Vitality, the “essence of life”. The source for this brave discovery you intend to make is from the whispering of your heart.

You will experience more joy .. snd more inspiration when you listen to and follow the guidance of your heart. Here’s the challenge: you need to not only listen, but listen, WELL.

Energy is your fuel and you can find this energy to live … to live out your dream 😴 with purpose and meaning. The next step is to explore creative and new ways of expressing and sharing this energy of creativity that comes from within.

My fridge magnet. Have courage. Continue to fuel your courage … every single day of your life.

Embracing Passionate Living.

I’ve helped hundreds … no, thousands of individuals for close to 30 years now, many of these people the top of their fields … very successful in their own right.

But, I have noticed that sometimes, at the top of their success wave, some of these individuals acted and felt as if there was still something missing in their lives.

I heard many reasons why they felt that way. I strongly felt (for some of them), that they were feeling that way because they were trying to stay with the one thing they thought they were meant to be doing.

I felt that this way of thinking 🤔 was a self-imposed ceiling … a self-limiting belief … that blocked their journey towards reaching their full potential.

I don’t just consider myself – an enthusiastic World-Class Problem Solver or a 2 x World Natural Physique Champion … I actually wear many hats and play many roles … so apart from being a husband of 20 + Years and father to two kids …. I create.

I love creating through many mediums of expression: I actually create in multi-media, I sculpt, I design, I write (blogs & poetry & books), I coach, I conduct virtual talks & seminars, I design & create my podcast, I fine-line sketch, I educate and share “coaching conversations”, I dance & I do martial arts 🥋, and share NUGGETS OF VITALITY … but most of all …

I continue to DREAM 😴… and fuel my IMAGINATION. My goal is always to not only continue to imagine, but to IMAGINE, BETTER.

All of these constant daily activities brings me joy and helps express my PASSION FOR CREATING.

Here’s a little secret to living a BETTER LIFE: consider learning to and embracing PASSIONATE LIVING. Work towards doing what you truly enjoy doing and this, I believe, will guide your path towards finding Purpose.

Sometimes, you need to simply jump in and giving things a try. Sometimes, we just need to shoot before we take aim. Sometimes, picturing yourself after having “giving it a go”‘and thinking or saying our loud –

“Just DID IT!”

Would bring you an amazing sense of satisfaction. It is the DOING and the courage required & summoned that is the way to overcome the feeling that you are missing out on life.

Not a nice feeling at all.

One of my Top Students to have not only achieved and exceed her initial goals but has gone on to share and guide others with the education she learned from me & my programs.

Be more like a VIKING/Pirate.

There are endless opportunities in life and is only limited by your imagination.

And through this discovery, through this courageous Viking/Pirate adventure, you will also realise that it is a JOURNEY TO LOVE 💕. It is this journey that is the process of becoming increased AWARENESS , to fully be AWARE of this flow of the essence of Life .. of this Vitality … this Energy from your heart.

Here’s my tip: BE MORE LIKE A VIKING and/or PIRATE 🏴‍☠️.

This energy … you won’t see it … and it is not something that is tangible as what you can taste, smell, weigh …

It is more something that you FEEL… that comes from within … something INTANGIBLE.

Be awake when that message comes.

All the very best in being more like a Pirate & Viking… as you sail and Captain your ship through the changing seas of life.

Cheers & ahoy!

The old cap’n Viking Pirate 🏴‍☠️ muscled monk

Find the Viking… or Pirate in you. It is there, embrace it and … sail your ship towards your purpose.
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