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MARRIAGE: The ULTIMATE TEAMWORK.

The 💝alentine tribe (minus our dog 🐶 – Mr Fuzzy/Fussy cuddles

Marriage is Teamwork.

No matter what a husband or wife happens to be or do, MARRIAGE IS TEAMWORK.

From my experience of being married for almost twenty years now and also from learning from other peoples’ experiences, marriage is a great example of ULTIMATE TEAMWORK.

I would go further to say that, given the high rates of divorce, marriages that last are not just because of teamwork but they have teamwork because they are a TEAM THAT WORKS.

Marriage is not about the hope of WORKING AS A TEAM, it is about two people WHO COME TOGETHER… & FIT … like 6 fits into 9, to make “69”.

Family.

God is an Amazing God.

God is an amazing God.

God gives many things.

God does not give individual gifts 🎁 to frustrate a marriage. No. God gives us unique gifts to ENHANCE the marriage. God does not lead two people into a marriage to see “sparks fly”, pulling a husband & wife in opposite directions.

No… God, leads them into marriage to blend and maximise their strengths, their usefulness.

Whenever this happens in my relationship with my wife, I pray to God for his help…. To give me the strength, courage & wisdom to make good decisions.

This is where our faith in God helps us during turbulent times in the marriage. There are many forces (internal and external) that work hard to tear a marriage apart.

If you believe in your marriage & what it represents is important to you, ask for God’s guidance and work hard to keep your marriage .

My beautiful wife of almost 20 years now. My love for this human being keeps increasing every single day.

The most difficult Act of Art of all.

As I see it, much of the problems & tension that occur in marriages comes from the INABILITY to BALANCE the ACT of GIVING to your spouse /other while retaining a SENSE OF SELF.

Mastering this balance, i believe is the most difficult ACT OF ART of ALL in life. I am still trying to master this after almost 2 decades.

In other words, the tension comes from grasping or holding onto what we consider our INDIVIDUALITY. I believe no matter what our gifts, talents or personalities… when they are given To god.

With strong belief in God, he will work & blend it all out and provide balance, because that is just what God will do.

No other team that you are a part of in life – business, sport, religion, politics etc … will ever be as IMPORTANT or benefit & challenge you like a successful marriage.

It takes WORK… a lot of real hard work. It is the complete & ULTIMATE example of TEAMWORK in life.

With God (part of the team, too).

Here’s a few questions for you:

1. Has there been a time when you put one of your individual goals “on hold “ so your spouse could pursue a dream?

2. Was the eventual outcome positive for you?

Until next time …

Yours in care, compassion & trust,

P.

Here we are … my beautiful wife and I. at a dinner party.
Loving & love in the Family provides key input for Balance.
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The Greatest Leadership Statement ever made.

The world has and has had many good Leaders in all fields but very few GREAT Leaders.

I believe The greatest leadership statement ever made was made by the greatest Leader & psychologist that ever walked this earth: JESUS CHRIST.

Turning to his disciples he said –

Come, FOLLOW ME.” (Luke 18:22)

It was not an order.

It was more of an invite, not a requirement. Jesus, gave his disciples a choice … he gave them the freedom to decide for themselves.

He gave them the option to say “no”

In other words, he allowed them to keep their dignity. He gave them respect. As you know, the “no” Answer is perhaps the greatest expression of self respect … the greatest expression of dignity possible.

So … as a Christian… as a believer, like I am, let me ask you some questions :

⁃ do you follow him?

⁃ are you going to follow him?

⁃ Why / why not?

If Beauty is balance & symmetry.
If Beauty is truth. Then, it follows that truth is balance & symmetry. To be balanced & Symmetrical is to be God-like.

Ask, Seek & Knock.

Many individuals do not like to ask questions. One reason is that they don’t want to depend on someone else. To ask, makes them feel a sense of humiliation.

Personally, I’ve been asking questions since I was a toddler, some of which certainly makes me look like a fool. My insatiable CURIOSITY gets the better of me all the time as I don’t really ask questions for answers but for better understanding.

Here’s the thing, To ask, you may run the risk of indicating:

⁃ You don’t know.

⁃ You ran out.

⁃ You don’t understand.

⁃ You’re not prepared.

⁃ You need more information.

⁃ You came up short.

⁃ You can’t find it.

⁃ You failed.

⁃ You’re not sure.

As Christians, we should never be afraid or shamed of asking … of asking questions. Not asking questions, undermines our need for God.

Jesus says we should ask … we should knock … we should seek. And why?

Because asking puts us back in alignment with God. It assumes a “two-way relationship “… a NEED-Relationship with him. You could say a “hand-to-mouth” spiritual existence.

We live in modern Societies that tries to satisfy every desire … with instant gratification. Over time, this constant rush to fill every felt need of the individual … rips … steals the soul of a person.

We eventually get our soul back but … at a price.

“And what is this price?” You may ask

I will answer that question with a question: What do you think is the “price” you pay … for losing your soul?

Balance & symmetry brings you closer to harmony … to beauty …closer to infinity. Just like mathematics does

Questions. For God & From God.

Can you live without knowing the answers to questions? Many are simply not willing to live with questions.

To have questions, brings down your aura. It leaves us feeling vulnerable, weak, even needy.

Questions open up holes to others where they may not have perceived to be… it raises doubts with regards to our theology or our lifestyle.

If you’re anything like me, you have many questions about life and living. You have questions for God and seek answers from him.

Sometimes God answers us with questions . Sometimes, we get questions from God. questions that may leave us humbled, awed, speechless, weak and believing.

Believing, not because we’ve Found the answer but because we’ve seen God.

I have more questions now than when I started. I’m sure you do, too. That does not matter … that is not the important point.

What matters … is that you, me… we … christians … SEE GOD.

It is only when we allow ourselves to SEE GOD that we discover the TRUEST ANSWER to ALL our questions.

And do you know what the truest answer is?

Well, It is to … WORSHIP HIM.

We must ALL follow him. We must ALL follow the man who said the greatest Leadership statement ever made –

Come.. follow me.”

I know I AM. Who’s with me?

May God continue to shower his blessings down on you

Until next time,

Christians believe in Jesus Christ, their saviour. Do you believe in him? DO you believe in God?
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White Lies & Black Lies.

White & Black Lies should be minimised in families.

Withholding Truth

G’day & Bula & good morning/evening to YOU wherever YOU are in this beautiful planet 🌏!

I was thinking 🤔 about life, as I usually do & the concept of “truth” in particular and lies as well as they seem to be two sides of the same coin.

Lying 🤥, we all do it and have done it over the course of our lives so far.

We lie to others & we lie to ourselves. I guess we could split lies up in to two main types:

1. White lies

2. Black lies.

The 💝alentine tribe (minus our dog 🐶 – Mr Fuzzy/Fussy cuddles. As parents we try to be as truthful to our children.

White Lies & Black Lies.

A black Lie, as I see it, could be defined as a statement we make we know is false. A white lie is a statement that we make that is not in itself false but that leaves out a significant part of the truth.

I think white lies can often be more destructive than black-lying. Think 💭 about it, we all do it almost every single day of our lives , as we consider white-lying more socially acceptable in many of our relationships because we “don’t want to hurt people’s feelings.”

Yet, people complain that their social relationships are generally superficial. Is this the right thing to teach our kids – that, as parents, part of being loving is feeding them heaps of white lies?

Is it right and truly beneficial for the children to not be told the cold truths about matters of life? Should parents continue (& I see this happening every day and have witnessed in many families over the last 3 decades of keen interest) “white-lying?”

So, parents tell each other everything but feed their children white lies. For example, that they fought with each other the night before about their relationship, or that their dad resents their grandparents for their manipulativeness & lack of caring over the years or that mum has a medical problem.

Rational behind white lies is – a loving desire to protect & shield their children from unnecessary worries.

The thing is , the children will know anyway.

Her heart ❤️ (& his) belongs to me … for now.

Protection or deprivation?

The reason to protect the child/children is, at best, a genuine form of misguided love 💕. Protected from what?

Is it really helping & protecting the child/children? Or is it detrimental? I think it would be more the latter.

White-lying is not protection but deprivation!

Children are deprived of many things –

⁃ knowledge about the situation

⁃ Their parents

⁃ Their grandparents

⁃ Life

⁃ People in general

So, ultimately, it comes down to what “version of the truth” are we willing to share with the world?

Can you see “me” in my son? Can you see you in your son?

Is Love the answer … is it Discipline with Discipline?

It also comes down to love and how we define love for ourselves. To tell white lies, do we love more than not telling white lies?

How do you define “love?”

This is a hard one ☝️ as love 💗 is just too large, too deep even, in my opinion, to be truly understood or measured or limited within a framework of words.

The bible tries to explain what love is but I don’t think 🤔 or at least I haven’t come across a truly satisfactory definition of love.

I know what love is not!

Contrary to what we’ve been told , love is not a feeling.(I will elaborate on what l mean another time)

I think love comes down to the desire to nurture one’s own or another’s spiritual growth. And this takes discipline, lots of discipline.

Discipline that needs to be constantly disciplined.

Discipline with discipline!

What do you think? Food for thought 💭.

End of the week … hang in there and continue moving forward in the roles you play in your life.

Gotta go now … have a great day!

Cheers 🍻!

– GURU Paul 💝alentine –

My gritty Viking pirate 🏴‍☠️ princess 👸
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Real Magic.

Believe. Believe in YOU. Believe in GOD. Believe in belief, itself! Vv.

Believe.
Believe in YOU. Believe in GOD.
Believe in belief, itself!
Vv.

Being grateful and thankful for your blessings is one of the most liberating thoughts you could have in today’s world. Everyone or at least, every Christian should practise a spirit of gratitude.

It is an attitude, an attitude of mind.

Magic exists, yes it does. You don’t have to travel to exotic countries to witness it. You don’t have to look for a magician to see it either. Matter of fact, you don’t have to look very far at all. You see, I believe Real Magic exists and it lies in every single one of us, you included, but it is based on a choice – your choice.

The choice of attitude you embrace.

There is real magic in having an attitude of gratitude. There is real magic in a thankful spirit.

“How?” you may be thinking.

Well, from my observations of life in my first forty years on this earth, the Real Magic of a thankful spirit (an attitude of gratitude) is that it HAS THE POWER TO

  • replace anger with love;
  • choose belief over fear;
  • choose peace over worry;
  • choose to play part of a team than the desire to dominate;
  • replace self-preoccupation with the concern for the needs of others;
  • choose an open door to forgiveness over guilt;
  • replace jealousy with happiness at another’s success;
  • generate inspired productivity over lack of creativity;
  • replace inferiorities with dignity;
  • choose power over force

and the power to choose an abundance of self-sharing over lack of love.

I’m sure you can think of many others too.

Explaining some of the finer points of training to Vicky during my 'coaching conversations' with my students. Better athletes train smarter.

Explaining some of the finer points of training to Vicky during my ‘coaching conversations’ with my students.
Better athletes train smarter.

This to me is what real magic is and it happens every single day in the lives of everyday people. Without any media coverage or fan-fare. This is where the real magic happens – in every person’s individual choice to have a thankful spirit. This is what the real human spirit is and what the spirit of humanity is all about.

This magic resides inside each and every one of us.

A thankful spirit and an attitude of gratitude is one of the many things that the world needs more of. I believe it allows individuals to be appreciative and content with what they have in life and to make the most of what they’ve got. I believe, being content, genuinely content, brings one closer to the elusive ‘happiness’ that everyone seems to be chasing in life.

This real magic (attitude of gratitude) has the power to empower individuals and can change each individual’s world for the better. In turn, the whole world becomes a better place. Every human benefits.

The magic rests in all humans, it rests in you and me. The only catch is that every individual has to take responsibility to make a choice, a choice to be endlessly grateful. A choice to release his or her ‘magic’ to the universe.

Do magic, Real Magic! Release the magician in you to the world if you haven’t already done so.

Choose well.

Before I go, I have to express my gratitude in you taking the time to read this message. I truly am grateful and I hope you are enriched in some way and it has a positive impact on your life.

Best of vitality to you!

 

Until next time,

Results with care. Here, Brad is 'feeling the essence' of the exercise and inching closer to his best self. Vv.

Results with care.
Here, Brad is ‘feeling the essence’ of the exercise and inching closer to his best self.
Vv.

 

 

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Christmas salvation.

Imagine. Believe.

Imagine. Believe.

Christmas is a few days away and it got me thinking.

What does Christmas mean to you?

For me, it has always meant a lot, it meant and still means everything. It means a celebration of a birth, a life, a saviour of the world of one of the most influential person that has ever walked this earth.

Does Christmas mean everything to you too? What does it mean to you?

Or is it just about getting together with friends and families and drinking, eating and merry-making? Or is it about present giving and Santa Claus? There’s a few sitting under our Christmas tree. Or is it about being alone? What does Christmas mean to you?

Like I said, for me, Christmas means everything – it means LIFE.

It is a beginning and it is an end.

It is a time of chaos and a time of order.

It is a time of darkness and a time of light.

It is a time of reflection and a time of hope.

It is a time of aloneness and a time of interaction.

It is a time of blessed relief and imagining and believing all of God’s promises manifest itself in to that one person – Jesus Christ.

Amongst all the chaos and loudness and joyousness of the Christmas period, take a moment or two if you can to try and imagine what it was like for this little baby that was born in to poverty. This little baby that we all believe was and is the saviour of the world.

A little baby called Jesus.

Imagine what the conditions were like during the time of his birth. There might have only been one candle inside the stable. Today, Christmas, like Diwali in the hindu calendar is a celebration of light and you don’t need to look very hard to see it before your eyes in your own neighbourhood – beautifully designed lighting on houses and buildings.

Many people today associate Christmas being filled with the ones you love with lots of noise and laughter. Wonderful version of the truth.

When Jesus was born, I imagine the place located on a hill outside Jerusalem would have wreaked with loneliness. So, for those of you that may feel a sense of loneliness during this time and in particular, on Christmas day don’t be. You’re not alone, you have good company. Jesus too was very lonely at birth.

Jesus’s birth certainly wasn’t in luxury. You could imagine the toughness and roughness of the trough that he laid in. The trough or what was a similar to a modern-day baby cot, he felt at birth may have been as cruel a place as the cross he felt at his death. The end was like the beginning for Jesus. What will your end be like?

What about his first gasp for air? What about his first few cries, what would they have been like to welcome in to this world? I imagine that his infant cries we may have heard coming from stable may have been no less desperate and heart-piercing than his final cry on the cross. I wonder if some of the shouts and yells on Christmas and New Year’s Eve celebrations this year will be for the pain our saviour cried out over during his arrival and departure from this world. Our world, the world he came to save.

A variation of the 'back single biceps" pose ... on the beach. The combination of chaos + order = Life.

A variation of the ‘back single biceps” pose … on the beach.
The combination of chaos + order = Life.

So, what is Christmas to you?

Celebrate? You say. Yes, of course, I say. Celebrate and be merry!

But if you have a little time, try to … imagine and … project yourself back to that lonely stable and try to imagine celebrating, most heartily with food and wine and dance amidst the stench of the stable. Do you know what that dung-like smell that existed in that little stable could represent today? It could represent the refuse of the world – the ugliness, the hatred, the selfishness, the rubbish.

And when you hope for a better New Year, try imagining celebrating at the foot of that painful cross. And why do I leave you with that ghastly image – not to sound negative, but to point out that that image of us at the foot of that cross is the one and only thing that really keeps that ‘life force’ lit in you for yet another day.

Do you know what that life force is? It is that image that epitomises the whole foundation of Christianity and the whole reason we have Christmas. That image of us Christians at the foot of his cross is the ending and the beginning. It is our belief – our hope. It is the essence of what it means to be a Christian. The unwavering belief and hope that that little baby boy born in to poverty and rejected by many, died for all our sins.

Hope – that is all that we are and all that we will ever truly have within us for as long as we are alive.

Christmas for Christians is the celebration of the saviour of the world! Believe. Really believe. There is a passage that has always stayed with me since my youth:

“Ask and ye shall receive; seek and ye shall find.” Achieve your salvation at Christmas, through Jesus – our saviour.

From me to you – Merry Christmas.

Imagine then. Live and be ALIVE now. Imagine and hope for a better future. A better YOU.

Amen.

 

Until next time,

Push-ups on the local beach. Basics can be hard work!

Push-ups on the local beach. Basics can be hard work!

~~Life & wellness COACH~~

~~Life & wellness COACH~~

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