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You don’t have to finish everything …

Beauty = truth.
Create your beauty , you find your truth. If you find your truth, you find beauty.
Beauty will always be proportional (have balance & symmetry)
My goal for the last 3 decades in bodybuilding(physique artistry )

Do what you have been born to do … NOW!

The title of this blog says ‘you don’t have to finish everything … ” and I agree. Just because you’ve started something, doesn’t mean you have to finish it. For example, I think I’ve only finished reading two books in my life …from cover to cover … one was Joseph Conrad’s Classic – “The Heart of Darkness” (I’ve read many times over) and the other is …. oh, i’ve forgottten.

I’ve always applied nature’s 80:20 Principle to most things in my life and book reading is one such activity. If I get the gist of the book (some authors tend to repeat their message over and over in their chapters), and the 5 or 6 KEY things give me 80 percent of the knowledge base (the ‘essence’), I’m content.

One of the best mentors said that to me on his 82nd birthday … saying that “Paul, whatever it is that you want to do … travelling, biking or whatever … do it now, don’t wait. That time may never come. Do what you have been born to do … Now!”

I’ve never forgotten that and I have tried to apply that in my life on a daily basis. 

As I see it, your inbox will never be finished, it’s never going to be over. There will never be a perfect time to do everything. Stop thinking the ‘grass will be greener’ on the other side so stop waiting for the good stuff before you decide to …. ACT!

I believe that most men have this idea and make the mistake that one day ‘it’ will be done. They think, “If I could work enough and … hard enough, that one day, I could retire and …. Rest.” Or, they think – “One day my woman will understand something and then she will stop complaining.’Or, “I’m only doing this now so that one day I can do what I really want with my life.”

This is an error in masculine thinking, passed down for many generations. Things won’t be different … they won’t get better. It never ends. 

Here’s what you do … to get out of that thinking … that ‘rutt’ –

Make sure you continuously work at having better (more effective) communication with your significant other

Don’t believe in the myth

And what myth is that? Well, it is the myth that has been propagated in society and that is, men lie to themselves and others by believing – 

“One day when everything will be different.”

I have news for you – it won’t! Don’t believe in the myth.

Here’s what you do – DO WHATEVER YOU HAVE BEEN WAITING TO DO – that you have been ‘putting off’ for reasons such as – 

  • When your finances are more secure
  • When your children have grown and left home
  • When you finish your obligations
  • When you get that job title/promotion
  • Other

Do what you love to do, what you are waiting to do, what you’ve been born to do, NOW!

There is a Tiger 🐅 in each and every one of us.
Know when you need to bring that fella out and … when to have the cute domestic cat 🐱 there

Are you willing to do what it takes to give your gift?

In my experience and having over twenty thousands of conversations with people (mostly Men) in gyms over the last 3 decades, I have found that most postponements or procrastination are just excuses for a lack of creative discipline. 

People give excuses such as they have no money or limited resources but that is all a lie. Limited money and family obligations have never stopped a man who REALLY wanted to do something, although they provide excuses for a man who is not really up to the creative challenge in the first place. 

Do you have the creative challenge? Can you deliver? DO IT! Do IT TODAY, NOT TOMORROW. TOMMORROW MAY NEVER COME. Do it TODAY! Find out now whether you have what it takes. Are you willing to do what it takes to give your gift … your gifts and … share it with the world?

That takes courage. Courage is the foundation of everything ever ventured.

“You cannot be truthful if you are not courageous. You cannot be loving if you are not courageous. You cannot be trusting if you are not courageous. You cannot inquire into reality if you are not courageous. Hence courage comes first and everything else follows.”

Osho

 Take one hour out of your day and give your fullest attention to your gift, whatever that is … for today. Right NOW. 

Protect your mind like a true champion warrior

Don’t hope that you woman/man will be fundamentally different

They won’t be. 

That is another myth men have told themselves for generations. That one day your life will be fundamentally different, and you hope that .. one day, your woman will be fundamentally different (that goes for a woman too).

Don’t wait. 

Just assume that she’s going to be however she is, forever. If you woman’s mood or behaviour is intolerable to you then you should leave her, and don’t look back (since you cannot change her). However, if you find her behaviour or mood only a little irritating then learn to live with it.

Don’t try to ‘fix’ your woman (she is not a electronic gadget or car that needs ‘fixing’). Instead, this is what you should do –

  • Embrace and hold her (or scream or yell or wrestle for the heck of it) … and tell her that you love her when she is ‘ _____________’ that way (fill in the blank).
  • Make no effort to provide a solution or bring a stop to that which pisses you off.
  • Just love her
  • Don’t avoid the tussle with your woman and absorb her femininity in all its glory

Don’t try to fix her. That won’t end in success. What will end in success is if you simply love her because the love that you magnify may realign her behaviour.

Notice I said – ‘may’. 

Live with that. 

Believe in love 😍. Give love. Receive love. Do all thoughts & actions with love.

Your woman and the world is much alike

Your woman and the world is much alike – they will always present you with unanticipated challenges and surprises. As I see it, you have a choice:

  1. You can live it FULLY, grab every single day and give your best and your gifts and share it with the world amidst those challenges or … 
  2. Procrastinate and wait for an imaginary future which will never come. 

Aim to live a life of significance. I have found that men who have live a significant lives are men who ACTED. They were courageous and made a decision with the limited information they had at the time. They never waited: not for money, security, ease or women. 

As the late Steven Jobs said – 

“The only way to do great work is to to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it.”

Even if what you want to do is “weird “. Just Do It. So, don’t wait. DO IT TODAY!

Feel and ask your heart the question. Feel what you want to give most as a gift, to you woman and … to share with the world, and do what you can to give it … TODAY. Not tomorrow … or next month or next year or … ten years from now. 

DO IT TODAY.

Every moment waited is a moment wasted. 

Each wasted moment puts a fog on your clarity and purpose in life which is essential to living a life of significance.

Be courageous. 

Don’t Think. DO.

All the very best to you, my fellow Man,

Cheers & Ahoy!

The old Cap’n Viking Pirate Muscled Monk

 

A fridge magnet 🧲 I bought almost 20 years ago.
Practise this.

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The QUALITY of your Network is more important than your Quantity. Here’s why –

Who are ‘you?”

The Lifeblood of connecting 

Everyone wants to be rich. Right? Not you? Well, you’re special … 

Do you have a million dollars in cash laying around, what about a billion dollars? No, I didn’t think so, many don’t. Would be nice though, wouldn’t it?

What is ‘connecting’/networking” to you?

It would mean different things to different people. I’ve learned over the years that ‘good networking begins with the ability to start and carry on a good conversation.” We all have strengths and some people are better at ‘connecting’ than others. That is a strength of mine, has always been.

I don’t think anyone would get far in this world if you can’t make eye contact, act confidently, and engage in an intelligent conversation punctuated with give-and-take, back-and-forth dialogue. It begins with Trust, and the only word that describes trust, is, priceless. You can’t buy trust at any price but over time, with patience, you can earn that priceless trust. 

Here’s what I’ve learned over the years – if people you connect with, like you and they believe in you, then they will trust you, and if they trust you – then they may buy from you.

The lifeblood of connecting and the nurturing of relationships, stems from networking. Networking, to me, is your life skills and social skills combined with your business skills. Business pleasure done before and after regular work hours. …& during hours too (lunch meetings). 

There is life and happiness in sadness. Find it.

Good things come to those who have patience

To me, the ability to make conversation is an important part of nearly every relationship we have in our lives. The ability to engage in ‘small talk’ (have a listen to my tips in an early video), speaks volumes for you and leads to communication that deepens the relationship. 

So, “what you can do today?” you may be thinking

Here’s a place you could start from – try and perform one small act of kindness today without the expectation of getting something in return. Maybe pay for the coffee for the person who is standing in line behind you at the coffee shop? What can you do to brighten up someone’s day today?

In my experience, good things come to those who have patience and take consistent, persistent actions toward what they want or desire. They make committed decisions … decisions they ACT on. Just like what I’ve learned about building good Quality muscle with balance and symmetry. You need patience, above everything.

And do the right thing all the time, and respect will be yours. Believe in your heart that what you’re doing that the actions you’re taking is the best you can do – for yourself, first, and for others second. And always tell the truth. Here’s the thing about truth – no truth, no nothing. Full-stop!

I certainly understand the proliferation of social networking sites these days – they’re sprouting up everywhere. I also understand how it can help advance our careers (some of us) and help us meet like-minded individuals online.

But is it really good use of your time

I am very conscious of my time (just like many of you are) and I could see how a great deal of time spent on social networking sites can be unproductive and many times, online interactions are often superficial and unimportant. For me, I have a certain about of energy and I don’t like expelling it for less than life-affirming actions. I have seen that company mission statements mean nothing when the people they work for them are treated with disrespect. 

Let me ask you a few questions: are we really more connected today with all these technological gadgets and applications? In my mind, being ‘virtually’ connected and personally connected are two entirely different things. Sure, we need both in today’s world, but I would caution that the quality of your network is more important than your quantity. 

The jury is out on this one. Time will tell.

Believe in you. In what you have to offer to help people, help themselves achieve something they care about. Be persistent.

Reach out and touch someone

I’d rather have 200 ‘live’ people than 2000 “friends’ on Facebook.

Just like I approach adding and retaining QUALITY muscle, I retain ‘old school’ principles but add a ‘modern twist/flavour’ to muscle growth and sculpture. When it comes to networking and building quality connections in today’s high-tech world, you need to combine the new technology with the ‘old-school’ way of connecting. 

And how do you do this?”

Well, you can’t build muscle by thinking about or reading about it … you actually have to go and reach out and lift the weight and feel the muscle. Same for quality relationships, you need to go and ‘reach out’ and touch someone (I love that Noiseworks song “Reach out”). 

I’ve been in and around gym for almost 30 years now and have had over 30,000 + conversations and this is being conservative. I particularly had multiple conversations for 12 to 18 hour days, 7 days a week, with people of all ages and from all backgrounds in the seven years that I owned and managed my Family Gym. I probably have listened to more stories from individuals than the average person alive today has in the 100 year lifespan. 

I’ve offered my ears and shoulders to lean – on and cry on. I’ve wiped their tears, I’ve given them unsolicited hugs. I’ve offered good advice for free and I’ve made phone calls that many would not do. I’ve shared stories and made them laugh during their sad days and I’ve reminded them of the good times they had; I’ve driven to their homes and personally knocked on their doors to see if they were ok; they were pleasantly shocked and grateful for they weren’t in a very good place at that time; I’ve been the clown when I needed to be to infuse people with happiness and vitality … and also showing them that it’s ok not to take life and themselves too seriously all the time. 

Read that last paragraph again. 

I have mentioned ways in which I believe I worked very hard to be a source of comfort and strength and wisdom for the members of my Family Gym and others connected to my businesses. It was about building Quality Relationships, not superficial ones. What they were, are, what some people refer to as “random acts of kindness” (when no one is watching or awards given out) that you do, simply because you care about them. They nurture relationships and some develop in to quality and convey to others what it means to be a good friend. 

Like many things in life – like sex and chocolate and clothing … quality is better than quantity.

Do the Right thing, not some of the time .. but all the time.

Be an Active Listener

It is difficult to make connections but it is often more difficult to make important connections. The least understood element of connecting is that it’s a two way street. Yes, we always want to connect with someone else but the more important question is – do they want to connect with you?

What is your idea of being a ‘friend?” A Business/Life Mentor told me a long time ago that – 

Connecting is really all about being nice. Your friendliness is partly your ability to engage and your willingness to give Value first.” 

When you combine the attributes of niceness/friendliness with engagement and value, you will develop powerful connections that lead to RICH relationships. 

For some, the talking part of a relationship comes easy but there is another side of the equation in any relationship worth keeping and that is being a good listener. Do you think you’re a good listener? Staying engaged as an ‘active’ listener is very hard work because you need to stay focused and not let your mind wonder. I believe that as you become better at listening, you also improve your ability to win friends and influence others – and perhaps avoid a misunderstanding that can set relationships back years. 

I have seen this happen. Don’t let it happen to you. Focus on becoming a better listener, an Active Listener. 

I am a far better listener now than I ever was in my life, thanks in part, to my years of owning my own gym business. It’s easy to get complacent but I remind myself every now and then to be attentive when someone tells a long-winded story (like my 9 year old son … can he tell stories, must take after his Dad, ha ha ha!)

If you aim to be a top-notch connector or networker, it is essential that you become a more improved active listener.

If you don’t get what you want … learn why and seek another solution.

Powerful connection

The more people who are attracted to you, the MORE solid your connections you’ll make. Here’s a question – think about your most powerful connections right now. Make a list of four or five of them (Hopefully, you have that many)). Next, to each of them, write a sentence or two about how they have helped you, and how you would like them to continue to help you. Then, write a sentence or two about how you have helped them. 

Here’s an example of a powerful connection I have – Through my adding value to one member of my gym over six months, I was one connection away from the most Powerful Man in the world at one time – Mr Barack Obama. This man that came to me to help him, help himself be his best self was part of the President of the United State’s inner sanctum and advisory/support team. He was the best at what he did and was head-hunted by the Obama’s to help manage part of his 2nd term Presidential campaign because of the help he gave the Clinton’s prior to that. So, effectively, the value I gave to my client (and now friend) was (and still is) a very powerful connection to have, as it is only one connection to President Obama. 

Now, make a list of four or five people that you would love to meet because they could help your personal growth. Ask yourself, how can you give value, first. I have found that if you make yourself valuable, and memorable, people will desire to make you part of their network. Also, in my experience in helping people, help themselves over the last 3 decades, the important thing is just that: make sure you’re prepared to help someone else get better whether it is a one-to-one meeting or a networking event. 

The question you have to ask yourself is this: How can I help people, help themselves to achieve something they care about? That has been my mantra in helping people, ‘build their bridges’ over the last three decades. I’ve asked myself how can I make people better as a direct result of connecting with me? Now, this should be done with care. What I mean by this is that, you can use this strategy to connect with anyone, anywhere, and not just use it as a strategy to connect at a networking event.

Find your superpowers. Know your superpowers. Work to your superpowers (strengths)

Not everyone is a connection

I have learned that not everyone is a connection, and each person you meet is a valuable lesson in the art of connecting and networking. In my experience, when you begin to give value to the world, somehow the people you affect will find a way to tell you. Even if it takes a couple of years. I have experienced that many times over the years.  

We have been told that it’s ‘who you know that matters’. I don’t fully agree with this. I believe it’s ‘who knows you, that really matters’ in the long-term.

Realise this – the first stage of being liked and connected to is the person you see in the mirror when you look at it. As Dr Benjamin Spock said –

“Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.”

The person needs to be be loved, before he/she can give love. Then, give, first. Easier said than done some times, but to get what you want … you must give of yourself first – without measuring. 

Believe in yourself. Dig in and ‘get your hands dirt’ and become the person you aspire to be … a person of performance and ‘getting shit done!’

Sit back, thank God … and think to yourself ‘wow!”

Hope you found this helpful to you and your business,

 

Yours in iron, mind, heart & muscles,

Paul e Valentine

There is a Lion in you .. in every one of us. Find that Lion and overcome your fears … fears of rejection, fear of failure, fear of what others think of you. Believe in YOU.

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A few thoughts from the mind of an Authentic Physique Artist: The Life of Love

A slight variation to the common ‘back double biceps’ compulsory body-building pose.

Vanity

We all know when muscle is being used for vanity, 

It’s hard to understand if you’re uninitiated; 

It’s dense and vague. It’s fake and impersonal;

It’s formal and cold or it’s false breezy.

It’s heavy on ego and light on substance,

It’s loud about ends but quiet about means;

It’s complicated and un-caring;

It dwells on the process not the people … the audience,

It’s passive and does not connect with or opens the hearts of others;

As an artist, I am committed to reflecting on the messages that come through my heart, rather than relying merely on my technical ability in the art medium i choose;

My Physique artistry offers me the creative opportunity to find metaphors and express myself through the medium of muscle dance in slow-motion;

With a belief that, we humans are drawn like moths to a flame whenever we witness physical brilliance – when brain, mind, and body operate together with singular grace as is sometimes evident in sports, dance, craft, or music.

We can all readily appreciate beauty in all its forms and far few take the time to search for their truth.. and create their beauty from within. I have found mine in Physique Artistry and this living project is always a work-in-progress.

Quality lean muscle that “flows” takes time & a goal of balance & symmetry

Create from the heart

As a Physique Artist, you are blessed to be able to manifest and share the beauty of the spirit of love that dwells within us;

Thus, the outer form becomes kind of skin for our deeper surrender to the inner, living reality;

When the Physique Artist allows the creative process to find its voice and clarity, purified by the right intentions, then only are we freed from our more personal ideas and desires and … 

We can then simply focus on what is concealed inside … manifested in our physique as we bring it to the surface … and give it Life;

This is the same for all authentic artists – painters, musicians, designers and so forth;

Drawing on a multiplicity of capabilities, some of which are primordial in their simplicity.

Those that take the ego route, find that they don’t create from the heart

This takes time and a mountain of patience.

Instead, others choose to use the thinking mind as the ultimate source of power,

And as stimulating as it can be – face losing something wonderful in the process – 

Losing something wonderful, mysterious and transformational that moves us beyond our mental understanding alone … because this creation comes from the heart,

And, is, from my three decades of experience, anyway … that moves us towards the ultimate energy that creates the universe;

So, when we only use the ego and the thinking mind, we risk losing ourselves … and ultimately, losing everything;

An authentic Physique Artist is privileged to be a messenger who reflects and reveals the creative power that is hidden within all of us, in a display method to force one to submit, even temporarily;

But, when we allow our ego to master our true selves then …

They are like fine ways to say nothing much at all while taking a long time to say it.

Like good politicians do;

Learn more about YOU. The knowable. Don’t chase the unchaseable.
The physical manifestation of the image you hold vividly in your mind is created from the heart with the tools in (and out) of the gym. My place of meditation, my church rests within me.

Leave your ego at the door

An inauthentic Physique Artist, builds and shows muscles but intends not to include but instead, exclude it’s audience;

Instead of leaving your ego at the door, muscles like these means to deter it’s audience, not really inviting them in;

Such muscle demonstrations is caution and self-interest, run amok;

It’s roots go down to fear and, deeper still, in some cases, to an instinct for keeping hold of one’s secrets… of what, I don’t have a clue.

Countless examples of this is prevalent on today’s social media, feeding the ‘selfie-obsessed’ culture, pampering to a growing ego problem;

Good muscle displays need to transcend ego …. To transcend selfishness … transcend self-interest and needs to face fear or … 

It needs to rise above fear; 

Sportstars (like the great Lebron James) & many others in other sports regularly strike a “front double biceps 💪 “ (which is one ☝️ of the traditional bodybuilding poses). They do this to indicate strength, courage and overall “winner” attitude. A far cry from what it represents in the sport of bodybuilding/physique artistry

The best thing you can do to help the world is … to continuously strive to be the best you can be, for you first, then for everyone else.

Achieving a well-balanced physique should be understood for what it is: a masterful fusion of art and science.
One should improve once’s “BODY Smart”knowledge. this takes time and deliberate practise.
Top 5 in the world, two years in a row at a sport I love ain’t too shaby for an city boy from the beautiful paradise islands of Fiji
If YOU think you can and you BELIEVE YOU CAN … YOU CAN.

It must, within the limits of professional care and perceived and political reality,

Speak plainly to its viewers, aiming to say as much as possible as silently as possible, through the ultimate in non-verbal communication,

With the human masterpiece that is the sculptured Living Human Physique,

Giving pleasure to an audience, that sees the human form in all it’s beauty, 

The beauty, of which part was … the journey of the spirit … with the on-ongoing pursuit of expanding and enriching the individual towards finding his truth and …

With an understanding that the spirit of love moves us beyond time and space to help set us free in a beautiful forest of creativity where we can engage in the dance of life.

Authentic Physique Artistry is bodybuilding with the fusion of art and science, in it’s true sense, with the glue being the heart of the creator;

Communication to the hearts of viewers non-verbally in the most economical poses manageable;

A Good physique artist is like a passionate photographer … he understands the link between heart and mind … between thinking and doing … and the balance & symmetry communicated with the manipulation of light and shadows with extreme angles. He is a “David Copperfield of Muscle Illusion”.

Good physique artistry must be everything that fearful, ego-filled, self-interested posing is not –

It must be humane, plain, active, informal, concrete, elegant and specific.

A Physical Artists’ posing display must have a voice, without uttering a word. 

It must have heart, balance and beauty communicated with harmony and care;

It must, have,  above all, excude the … 

Life of Love.

Collage of some bodybuilding poses .. presenting my physique art to the audience in my gym

Beauty comes in the human form.
My favourite Physique Artist of all time.
It is a living masterpiece.
On display, from a masterful poser/artist, the human body exemplifies beauty and truth rolled in to vibrating ball of flow of muscle.
The hard part is to CREATE beauty. We all have the ability within us.
To create a beauty through the human form is genius.
Everything matters, however, small it is.
GIGO for their minds:
If you want to create champions and leaders , feed them daily champion & leadership thoughts.

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Having “Common Sense” is weird but is a KEY to being a Leader

Have courage. common sense. ability to reason. Like ALL Great Leaders.

The New Style is yesterday’s ‘weird

The new style is yesterday’s weird … let me elaborate as I story-tell …

I played and excelled at many sports but chose the sport of Bodybuilding or Physique Artistry, just like the greatest Bodybuilder, Arnold Schwarzenegger. I thought he was weird (abnormal compared to the majority of people). People thought I was weird because of my sport choice Almost 30 years ago now. They thought that – “once-upon-a-time” but not anymore.

Everyone knows who the most famous bodybuilder of all time is – Governor, movie A-lister, Humanitarian and great-all-round human, Mr Arnold Schwarzennegger. Now, over 250,000+ people flock to the Arnold Sports, USA Festival every year and, this is all over the world., even one here in Melbourne, Australia.

We’ve been in a Fitness revolution and every “Tom, Dick & Harry” wants to be bodybuilder. It no longer is weird to go the the gym and lift Weights ‍♂ and train to look your best.

Funny how definitions of weird changes over time.

never forget this

Weird could be “insanity” or ‘vision’

Very religious and spiritual people could be considered “weird” by many too. Someone driven to achieve an IMpossible goal because he/she has a dream but no one else “sees” it , but them. Weird could be insanity or vision. For example, if an entrepreneur has an idea and …. Succeeds, people say he/she is a visionary, but if it doesn’t, they say the person was insane (& so weird).

Genuine Leaders/Great Leaders & Champions of industry & different areas of life fall into this category. They create & innovate … bring about or manifest into the physical reality.

They SEE “what CAN BE”, instead of just “what IS”. This could be considered wierd by some who can’t visualise or even try to simulate possibilities.

The list of what is “weird “ and what isn’t could go on forever. We can just agree to disagree, as it seems it is a matter of opinion anyway.

I think  whether you think  you’re weird or not, does not really matter. There will always be people who would disagree with you. What’s most important is that being “wierd” is a key part of being a Leader. Yes, almost all great Leaders share many common traits, one of which of being weird.

Weird or not, ALL Leaders need to have “common sense” and not get caught up on whether or not you or people think your weird.

The warrior of love 💓
It takes courage to be Leader, to have the Strength to take on more than you ever thought possible.
The most important Power of all.

Many people are scared of what other people would think of them.

Many people are scared of what other people would think of them, instead of ‘fear of failure‘ as many believe. I never have, thanks to my grandmother who raised me. She would ask me when I hesitated because “other people were watching” and say –

“Do they feed you?”

I would reply – “no”

“Do they clothe you?” She would ask

And I would say “no”

Then, she would say – “then don’t worry about it … now go Out there and put on a performance they won’t forget!”

And I would. I’ve had her voice in my head all my life. Has never failed me … I don’t suffer from “nerves” like many people do. Now, this could be considered weird.

Take a stand … a stand of what you believe… IN… and know you have support of the angels

Common sense isn’t ‘common’ anymore

Real Leaders simply have common sense . One of the main reasons I say this is that , as a human being – YOU, me & everyone … we can agree that the ONLY thing that we’ve got going for ourselves is –

  1. the ability to reason
  2. your common sense

What I mean is that if you don’t know a “dip of horse  sh%t “ from a “dip of vanilla ice-cream”, you’ll NEVER MAKE IT as a Leader.

Whether you’re weird or not. That is a cold but hard fact! It seems common sense isn’t common anymore.

People ask – “why?” … I /My curiosity continually askS “why not?”
Seek possibilities… always

YOU

The hardest thing to do is also the “weirdest “ thing to do: to just be “you. But, this could be the greatest thing you may ever accomplish in your life …

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”

  • Ralph Waldo Emerson-

This, ultimately, takes courage. Do you have “what it takes?” To be weird. It brings you closer to love . Being truly “you” and not an imitation of someone else … may be weird , but that also means that you have tonnes of courage (unlike many, who speak it but don’t actually DO it).

But having courage is the beginning and foundation or everything you will and can achieve in life … that is work h achieving.

“You cannot be truthful if you are not courageous. You cannot be loving if you are not courageous. You cannot be trusting if you are not courageous. You cannot inquire into reality if you are not courageous. Hence courage comes first and everything else follows.”

  • Osho

So I say be courageous… be weird but ultimately, be YOU. However, that opens up another question – Do you know ‘YOU?”

I mean if Scientists agree that despite having come a long way with advances in Science & Technology and the world around us but still think ‘who we are (our minds), is a baffling mystery. Question remains: Who are you?

Cheers to being weird!! & Cheers from Sunny  Sydney, Australia

Best of Vitality to you tribe members.

Yours in iron, pockets of thought-energy & muscles ,

Paul e Valentine

**Personal Life & Lifestyle Doctor**

Valentine Vitality THINK TANK

ME.
In Tiger form.

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Weird is the New “Normal’

Let your light bring colour to the world

Wait …. what?!.

I asked my eight year old son, my wife and my ten year old daughter, individually, to answer two questions –

  1. Did they think their dad/husband (of 20 years) was weird?
  2. What 3 things (out of the hundreds) they think is ‘weird’ about me?

I got some interesting answers and when my son was asked the question .. he answered it (like he has been since he began talking … saying –

wait … what?!

My wife’s three things were –

  1. What I eat
  2. How I think
  3. How I dress

My daughter’s three were –

  1. Things I liked
  2. Music I listened to
  3. How I eat

My son’s three things were –

  1. What I liked
  2. How much books I had
  3. He always sees me working

If that is what they see as ‘weird’ and is also part of why they each love me … for being … no one else but me, then so be it – I am weird, and proud of it. If being weird is a crime, then, I guess I am the biggest criminal in this world.

Beautiful art with my favourite colours

Weird to me is …

I was asked a question by a group of thinkers I’m a part of –

“What is weird to you?”

I typed my response as I sat down and thought … I”m a very fast typer, so I typed as I think … weird to me is .. 

Weird is being comfortable within yourself. With YOU.

Weird is closer to learning your truth, your beauty in life. Weird is heightened awareness that your truth lies within you.

Weird is being less self-conscious and not using that energy worrying about what other people think,

Weird is picking yourself up and trying again, no matter how many times you fall/fail or stink;

Weird is having abnormal strength, not from the gym but from all the times you’ve picked yourself up

Weird is never, ever, ever … giving up, simply because you’re ‘tough’;

Weird is loving the Journey song – “Don’t Stop Believin!” and use it as a mantra when you fail,

Weird is being courageous at just being YOU, in a world where everyone else is trying to be ‘like someone else’, following one another’s tail;

Weird is loving YOU, unconditionally and others you value, too

Weird is loving others enough to enlighten them with your truth and take time to admire the sky, so blue;

Weird is being open and prepared to listen to their truth,

Weird is allowing yourself to be vulnerable even at the expense of ridicule and shunned

Weird is speaking out against injustice when the majority won’t, without the use of a gun;

Weird is not accepting the ‘status quo’ and always seeking a new and better way of doing something,

Weird is always questioning the wisdom passed down from our forefathers … even two plus two equalling four and why do bees sting;

Weird is being self-less, about reaching out to connect through communication,

Weird is communicating with more than words … it is a communication from the soul & using your vibration;

Weird is respect, responsibility and peace, personified into every thought,

Weird is wisdom and strength disguised as UN-Normal, for all battles fought,

Weird is spiritual discipline revealing hidden treasures from one’s infinite creative source within and sharing with love

Weird is acceptance, freedom and contentment disguised in your physical form, taking you places by a dove;

Weird is courage, humility and integrity to oneself and others,

Weird is giving .. hope and gratitude as a daily habit, similar to that existing with lovers;

Weird is offering a hug or shoulder for someone to cry on when no one else will,

Weird is accepting you don’t know anything and your curiosity and energy keeps your search beating down new paths of knowledge trying to get your fill;

Weird treads the fine line that many fear to walk …

Weird is the precarious fine line between insanity and … genius, but for those who don’t understand, all they do is – talk;

Weird is closer to genius that you think,

Weird is knowing that which way you fall comes down to becoming a Master of Mind Management, let’s put in down in ink;

Weird is knowing that Mind Management involves 3 main areas –

Weird is knowing and doing better thinking because –

Weird is the summary I put forward here –

Weird = Thinking (focused) + Feeling (Heart) + Imagination (Goals/Dreams) ==>Good Life.

If you’re Weird, wonderful.

I like Weird.

I am Weird.

Being weird was seen and treated with distaste and branded ‘abnormal’ in our history of mankind. But that was history, this is the present.

We’re living through unprecedented change in our current history, the present. A gift. We’re creating our new history, beginning now … I pronounce that –

Find your truth, create your beauty.
Be the light you want to see in the world

Weird is the New Normal … 

Let’s be Normal, together … with all our other weird friends and … help imagine … and make this world a little better than how we have found it.

What do you reckon?!

Who’s with me?!!!

Do you believe this?

Cheers from Sydney, Australia

Paul e Valentine

**Vitality, Health & Lifestyle Coach/Entrepreneur**

Be the person that YOU are.

Be YOU.
As YOU are.
Accept the uniqueness … and weirdness that you know you are.
Embrace YOU.
Never imitate.

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Not Knowing the Unknowable

Maybe life is just a sequence of layers of energy that reveals itself to us based on the level of consciousness we attain. Just like the many layers you see here in my line-art.

Consciousness and Death

What is consciousness? How do you define it? Many have tried. Many have failed.

What is death? What happens when you die? Is reality, death? Is death more Real than reality as we know it? There are a lot of questions but not as many answers to consciousness and death.

Yes, we are accelerating our knowledge on the brain but we are furthering our understanding on the “soft” or “easy” problems. What are these easy problems, well, according to the Australian philosopher, David Chalmers, they refer to those that we, in principle, know how to solve, even if we have not yet done so.

They include perception, learning, attention and memory; how we discriminate objects or react to stimuli; how being asleep differs from being awake. All these are easy, he says, compared with the really hard problems of experience itself.

do you have more consciusness than a dog?

The Hard Problem

Not everyone agrees with the Australian.

Some claim that the hard problem does not exist, that it depends on a false conception of consciousness, or on drastically underestimating the ‘easy’ problems. The American Philosopher, Patricia Church-land, for example, calls it a “hornswoggle problem” argueing that we cannot, in advance, decide which problems will turn out to be the really hard ones.

The “hard problem” Distinctions between conscious and non-conscious processes are not addressed; consciousness is assumed to emerge at a critical level (neither specified nor testable) of computational complexity mediating non-conscious processes.

The brain will always search for meaning …

Feel your emotions.
Think through and with your heart.
Listen to your íntuition
We are not ‘thinking creatures who feel’ … but instead we are ‘Feeling creatures that think”.
We need to always remind ourselves of this.

So, what is it?

“It”, being consciousness.

This has baffled many philosophers and scientists and thinkers since the beginning of time. So, what is it?

Consciousness simply implies awareness: subjective experience of internal and external phenomenal worlds and it gives an independent view on reality, of the universe and of ourselves.

Consciousness basically defines our existence!

Some believe we will never know what consciousness is. The American Philosopher, Colin McGinn says that we humans are ‘cognitively closed’ with respect to consciousness. That is, we have no hope of understanding it, just as a dog has no hope of being able to read the newspaper he so happily carries back from the shop.

Even the famed psychologist Stephen Pinker agrees: we may be able to understand most of the detail of how the mind works, yet consciousness itself may remain forever beyond our reach.

Communication in life is like a neuron connectome.
A neuron example and its network of dentrites
One of the 100 billions neurons in your brain that make you …
who you are.
Your are your connectome

“I think, therefore I Am”

Descartes says – “I think, therefore I AM”

This implies that consciousness is only aware of itself when it assumes form. “I AM” is a statement of awareness, confessing that the capacity for experience is independent of form.

But is this so?

Those that were ‘enlightened’ throughout history have disagreed with the thinker, Descartes, stating that consciousness is beyond form and is, indeed, the very omnipotent Matrix out of which form arises. Modern Physicists (like Bohm) agrees saying, to the effect that without consciousness there would be nothing to experience “form” and could further imply that form itself, as a product of perception with no independent existence, is thus transitory and limited.

Consciousness on the other hand is ALL – Encompassing and Un-limited!

So, if form (our body) is transitory, what is death? What and where do we go in the 4th dimension? Some call it heaven. Is death our partnership with infinity? Do we (our spirit/soul/consciousness) connect with and live forever.

I. AM.
GOD?

Concept of Self

Part of the answer of what consciousness is, is aligned with our concept of self. The more limited the sense of self, the smaller the parameter of experiences is. For example, a dog or a bat “experiences” less than us and so has lower levels of consciousness.

It is one of the few real mysteries of life: –

What is the nature of consciousness and it’s occurrence in the brain and it’s ultimate place in the universe are UN-KNOWN!

So, if science cannot answer it, where should we turn for answers?

Stop. Take stock. Be like water. Adapt to the different states of life … and mind.

Death could be permanent, could be our chance to live forever

Have you ever had a near death experience or an ‘out-of-world’ experience?

I have.

That day change my life forever or rather, my perception of life changed dramatically.

I believe that there is a mystery to Life and our perception of Reality and our perception of the Universe. I mean, why do we die? So much of what we do is to stay alive – we’re born, we grow up and work hard, have a family and then … we die.

Why?

So much of life is stress, lots of worry … hard work and a lot of hurt and tears.

If we are going to die, then why do we strive so hard to be busy … and continue to be busy JUST to stay alive.

Why not JUST die?

Death could be permanent, could be our chance to live forever. It could be paradise. It could be a state of infinite happiness and joy and love.

Why do we fear death?

Maybe, consciousness knows. But we don’t know what consciousness is … so, I guess, we won’t know what death is really like. Until we die of course.

Was crucifying Jesus Christ ‘Justice’ at that time?
Is the answer to death and consciousness with Jesus? Does it with God?

Maybe our relationship with God has the answer

One does not have to look very far to feel the pain and despair of death. I have experienced my fair share over the years, losing both my grandparents in my teens and my mum when she was only 54 years old. I’m sure you’ve felt that despair and pain too.

I found that when we confront our pain and despair and begin to accept the loss, surrendering ourselves to God in our powerlessness, the pain and despair can then give way to hope.

The life and death of each of us has influence on others. “If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord.” (Romans 14:8)

Jesus didn’t say much about what happened to people after they died, but he promised everlasting life to all who believed in him (which is similar to what I said in the previous sub-topic. It is interesting though, that Paul saw death as “The Enemy”, but an enemy defeated by Christ … through his resurrection.

So, I would pray –

“Father, my death and the deaths of people I love are indeed a mystery. Although I may not give up searching our the mystery, I do not want to torture myself to know the unknowable. You have penetrated and conquered it. My hope is in you; I need no more. Your saving grace is enough. “

Thank you, through Christ my Lord,

Amen.

Cheers & Ahoy!

The old Cap’n Viking Pirate Evangelist Muscled Monk … & Not Knowing what we Don’t Know has a much bigger influence on our daily life than we think

Learn more about YOU. The knowable. Don’t chase the unchaseable.

 

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To DO NOTHING could be the best thing you could do for yourself.

The brain cannot multi-task, this is a myth.
Neuroscience shows that the brain can only TASK-SWITCH.
You CANNOT multi-task without mistakes.
Teach yourself to DO NOTHING … to SIT STILL. … to …
Just BE.

Sitting still is UN-Easy

My daughter and son are now almost eleven and nine respectively.

I have watched them grow in to enthusiastic and very curious individuals. They have the same blueprint but have very different personalities and appreciate their own uniqueness. Over the years, I have given them many challenges for their growth, in various forms – art, music, sport, mental agility, verbal wrestling etc.

When they were four and two respectively, I gave them a challenge to DO NOTHING … just to sit ‘still’. We first began with 20 seconds and kept increasing. Like any new habit, the first time was quite difficult for them, being kids .. but as time went on, they got better at it. It was the hardest thing they have had to do in my opinion and is one of the hardest things for adults to do too.

Sitting still is UN-Easy, indeed. Some cultures do this better than others and I believe many in the developed world can take a page out of the Fijian’s handbook. It is no fluke that they are the happiest people on the planet. They know when to work … and when to relax. They don’t mix the two.

Try it. How did you go?

Guess how good my children are at sitting still now? Yep, they can sit still for an hour with ease now, when they need to. Like all habits, it takes patience and practise.

People in a hurry struggle to find time for recovery, real recovery. Many look forward to their annual 4 week leave, but by then, it is too late, as you cannot escape your mind. You can only manage it better. Their minds have little time to meditate, to UN-Think, to just BE. Still. Their minds have little time to pray and their problems seem to get ‘blown out of proportion” and usually taken out of perspective.

In short, I believe people in our very fast-paced cities and societies have been showing clear signs of physiological and psychological disintegration because of many reasons. One key reason, as I see it is that we are living at a pace that is too fast for our bodies. It seems that people think that all other areas of life needs to be changed as fast as technology changes.

Nope, very bad extrapolation of ‘correlation’ if you asked me. This, I believe is the Essence of the Stress Problem in society, as this way of thinking feeds in to the ‘instant gratification’ mentality afflicting many in our modern-day societies.

Find your inner-peace but don’t wait too long … or until you’re a skeleton

ACTing to Create Change

It is difficult to get YOU and your mind to be in the Present moment, to have mindful connection with the present moment. Why is that? I wrote that one way to do so is to learn to “UN-Think”.

You see, from my experience, plugging back into the present moment and connecting with our surroundings does not need to be complicated.

Being in the present moment tends to prove most difficult when we are troubled with a major life problem, loss or trauma, and no one reading this and alive, can say that they haven’t experienced these challenges.

As we all know, problems have the habit of filling our minds and taking over our thoughts to the point where we can be emotionally and mentally absent from the people around us. This is why we all need to improve our skill at being still.

You see, I believe, to do nothing and be still is an under-rated, yet, KEY life skill, as hinted in the Bible –

“Be still and know that I am God.”    

  • Psalm 46:10

But many have forgotten how to do so because they are always ‘busy’. “How are you?” I would ask … to a response of – “busy!” . Really, I ask myself.

Like all new skills, practice makes a huge difference and with perseverance, the skill becomes easier to master.

Here are a few routines you could practise to help you get back to the present moment, as part of your acting to create change

  • Apply your senses
    1. Stop
    2. Be Still.
    3. Concentrate on trying to name 3 things you can –
      1. See
      2. Hear Feel or touch
  • Grounding YOU”
    1. Stop.
    2. Be Still.
    3. Push your feet into the ground (feel that force travel through your feet into your glutes into your lower back and up towards your neck)
    4. Consciously straighten your back.
    5. Chin up and shoulders back.

STOP and RELAX
After almost 30 years of training with weights in the gym, I have found that Breathing properly is one of the Key factors in achieving the results you desire. Apart from staying alive, breathing properly allows you to focus better and when you focus better, you have improved ‘mind-muscle’ connection, you become “ONE”.

When you have better mind-muscle connection, you feel and control the weight better and when this happens, you build quality muscle better. Breathing correctly increases your self-awareness and helps you avoid injuries in the gym (part of the reason I have stayed INJURY-FREE since I began weight training in the gym).

Stop and Relax

  1. Stop.
  2. Be still.
  3. Take a deep breath and count ‘one’
  4. Then breathe again ..
  5. And Count ‘Two’ in your head …
  6. Then breathe again ..
  7. And count “Three” in your head…
  8. And keep going to ten.

 

If you can focus on nothing else but the numbers and not let any other thought come in to your mind as you count one through to ten while focusing on breathing slowly and deeply, you would have gotten closer to mastering the ‘art of concentration’.

Try it. See how you feel.

Find that place where you can sit ‘still’ and ‘ do nothing’ … but just BE. For me, it is where the land meets and sea that meets the sky. I sit still and do nothing but listen and see and smell and feel. where do you go?

 Stress-Free Living

I have noticed that many expressions of spirituality have become linked to adrenalin arousal. I believe, can be very harmful. In recent times (over the last 10 years or so), many modern-day sages or ‘saints’ seem to find their peak spiritual experiences in exciting challenges or emotional catharsis.

Why?

[Many] seem to confuse adrenalin arousal with spiritual growth. If their bodies were stimulated, they then felt they were growing spiritually. If they were not stimulated, they felt nothing was happening.

Well, I’ve got news for you … it ISN’T!

The saddest thing about this kind of confusion is that it actually works against spiritual growth. People are confusing adrenalin arousal with spirituality. Many true saints of God as outlined in the Bible found their peak spiritual experiences in quietness and solitude.

Here’s the prescription for ‘stress-free living’:

“your beauty … should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet smile, which is of great worth in God’s sigh.”

  • 1 Peter 3:3-4

This truth, which was meant for wives in the original context is a wonderful secret to stress-free living.

Begin with YOU … the internal-you.

Then, worry about the external.

 

Cheers & Ahoy!

The old Cap’n Viking Pirate Evangelist Muscled Monk … & learning to DO NOTHING could be the best thing you could do for yourself.

Have no doubt.
Help yourself first.
God will meet you half way …
he ALWAYS does.
All you have to do is: BELIEVE.

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Your thoughts and feelings (attitude) affect your performance and results in life.

Me, some of my quirks (showing off my muscles, posing at every and any opportunity and my desire to ‘over’ dress than to ‘under’ dress. In this case, a perceived “mis-match “ Of clothing items. Also, my quirk of love for dogs (and in particular, my pirate dog) and animals in general.

This is true for many things in life.

Matter of fact, your attitude heavily impacts on your performance in sport and life, in general.

Winning. I love winning, who doesn’t?

Winning in life stems from a winning attitude. Full stop!

Your attitude toward your potential is either the key to or the lock on the door of personal fulfilment.

Most of you are aware of this.

Getting control of my thoughts helped me …. reject the economic disadvantages I faced in my youth growing up in a developing country such as the Fiji Islands and this allowed me to enter a world where self-esteem and the esteem of others were abound.

There were also a lot of advantages: Fijians and Fijian Culture is very affirmative always uplifting. Not derogatory and ‘down-putting’ from a very young age, like so many western societies. Fijians are a very loving and caring and compassionate race, it’s in their/our blood. Fijians are very strong believers and very hard workers that don’t make whinging a part of their lingo. They also know when to take a rest.

Fijians love wearing flowers (wearing beauty of nature … & skirts) and understand how to ‘relax’.
If you want to learn how to relax and ‘slow down’ from your busy lifestyle and mind … just go to Fiji or speak to a Fijian.
They will give you tips on happiness that could change your life for the better.
Learn to be on “Fiji Time” when appropriate.

The decision and desire to change me for the Better attracted other like-minded/energy persons/champions in to my realm and me in to theirs. The collaboration (short and long) built a formidable team of many things but one thing bonded all: LOVE.

Every thought and act was done out of love, not hate.

Read that last line again. That is one of the keys to your fulfillment. Love.

How did I get to 2 x World Top 5 World Natural Classical Physique Bodybuilding Champion and be one of the BEST in my sport in the world? What helped me win?

Vv – wearing the last beanie I got ordered many years ago
And what does the “Vv” stand for? “❤️alentine ❤️itality “ of course.
Out for a park run /sprints with my Mr Fuzzy/Fussy Cuddles

I can and I will share with you, through storytelling, how a boy born in the small paradise and friendly islands of Fiji went all the way to stand on stage in New York, USA and beating the best in the world.

Many things contributed to me achieving my goals of being one of the best in the world in my chosen sport.

We are more alike than you think.

Two key things that got me there was desire and getting control of my thoughts: My Attitude.

My ability to think Champion Thoughts and feel Champion Feelings and my never-ending pursuit to éliminate ignorance (some people call this curiosity) ultimately resulted in my two World Championships, representing Australia. This fuelled my work and how hard and smart I worked every single day leading up to the Big Day, when I got to stand on the world stage in New York, USA and compete against the best from countries around the world.

Achieving a well-balanced physique should be understood for what it is: a masterful fusion of art and science.
One should improve once’s “BODY Smart”knowledge. this takes time and deliberate practise.
Top 5 in the world, two years in a row at a sport I love ain’t too shaby for an city boy from the beautiful paradise islands of Fiji
If YOU think you can and you BELIEVE YOU CAN … YOU CAN. WIth God by your side, you have NO DOUBT.

You’re a champion too, in more ways than one. Believe it so.

Here’s 3 reasons why I believe a Champion is in you, if you don’t already think so:

1)  Because you acknowledge the help of others – knowing you could never have got this far in life and do what you do – ALONE.

2)  Because you aim high – understanding that the quality of the goals you choose influences your character.

3)  Because you never give up – knowing that true ability comes only through persistence and consistency.

There are other reasons why I believe you are a champion, like, maybe you consistently give of yourself to other freely. This compassionate act is a champion act, fuelled by a champion feeling and champion thought.

You could probably list many more. Ultimately, winning is a way of thinking – a way of life.

Feel your emotions.
Think through and with your heart.
Listen to your íntuition

Mastering your Mind, controlling your thoughts.

Everyone knows they’re supposed to ‘be positive’ – to think positively, and to discourage negativity. Yet for so many people thoughts just seem to ‘happen’ before they know about it!

Thoughts don’t JUST happen – you think them!

YOU choose your thoughts.

Here’s the thing –

Learn the skills to take control of your mind, your thoughts. Before it is too late.

True?
Neuroscience is still at the level of where medicine was in the 1700s
A long way to fully understand who we are….
Who “I AM.”

Participate and compete in the game of life, don’t be a spectator!

Are you a ‘spectator in the game of life?”, like the majority of humans who watch life happens as bystanders.

They avoid the main arena for fear of being – rejected, ridiculed, hurt or defeated. They prefer not to make waves or get involved and would rather watch it happen on tv ( I don’t watch tv by the way .. haven’t for many years).

Most of all, I believe the spectators in life fear winning. You see, after helping thousands of people over the last 3 decades I have found that it is not losing that humans fear the most … it is the possibility of winning!

After all, winning carries the burden of responsibility and for setting a good example. That is too much for many and so … they sit back and watch other to their thing.

Don’t!

Be the winner that YOU are …. That YOU were born to be!

Winners set and achieve goals which not only benefit themselves, but more importantly, benefits others.

 

Practise thinking winning thoughts.

Winning is ALL in the ATTITUDE!

Not aptitude … attitude is the criterion of success.

You see, people can buy many things … cars, houses, businesses, people … but what they cannot buy is Attitude. You couldn’t buy attitude for a million dollars.

Remember this: Attitudes are not for sale.

Winning is no more than one’s personal pursuit of individual excellence.

Don’t forget, you don’t have to get lucky to win in life, and/or do you have to knock people down or gain at the expense of others.

No … winning is taking the talent or potential you were born with, and have since developed, and using it fully toward a goal or purpose that makes you happy. If you don’t, no one else will because no one else cares.

Feel and practice feeling good positive, winning thoughts

My grandfather always told me that Talent is Cheap. You can buy it, and recruit it. It’s everywhere. “But son” he says … “the world is also full of talented alcoholics.”

Education is not cheap, but it’s for sale and for hire if you have the time and money.

It seems people are still trying to get their BS, MBA or PhD in droves instead of investing in taking care of their attitude. People are still hanging their multiple diplomas on their office walls.

They don’t realise that their attitude is the thing that is their most priceless possession. This all fundamentally depends on their ability to sustainably control their thoughts.

To control their mind.

But as I remember my grandfather saying before he passed away –

Son, the world is also full of educated derelicts, unable to relate to supportive roles with others.”

He instilled the importance of having the right attitude, in me, from a very young age.

Education qualifications can be bought and most other things. But Attitudes are not for sale.

Read that last line again.

Attain the right attitude. That makes YOU Happy.

Are you happy?

Choose the right attitude.

All the best in your choice.

Cheers & Ahoy!!!

 

The old Captain Viking Pirate ….. & attitude … and control and … the mind

Champions practise a lot of visualisation and simulation.
To create magic, you need to fuse the worlds of sanity (where you are) with insanity (where you dream/imagine you are, before you are).
That is difficult.
That is one of the key keys.
Don’t stop. Trying. Believing.
Keep on … keeping on. You’ll get there. Everyone always does.
Especially, if you do it with your heart. and ….
with LOVE.

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Variety is the spice of life?

With another woman.
A fan.

Well, I have a few questions: Are you a man with a “masculine sexual essence?“. Just another way to say – ‘are you a REAL MAN?”

Any man that is a REAL MAN, with a masculine sexual essence (we all have this) will almost inevitably DESIRE SEXUAL VARIETY. You have had thoughts, many thoughts of having sex with other women.

Am I right?

Even if you love your intimate partner (your wife or girlfriend). Even if you are completely committed to her, you will have thoughts…. and naturally want sexual occasions with other women. Now, we’ve heard that when a man is promiscuous, apparently it reveals that he is lacking intimacy at home. This, is absolutely, not true.

Your desire for other women is simply a reflection of your nature as a red-blooded Real Man.

 

Self-discipline is the one key characteristic of a winner that really makes habit changes happen.

Discrimination is good

This is where I believe discrimination is good. Helps us make choices.

You need to discriminate against these desires that has deep sources from childhood. You need to discriminate so that you know when to discipline yourself and say ‘no’.

There is only one of two choices that you need to make when faced with the decision to have sex or not have sex with another woman. Your choice will fundamentally, depend on your philosophy of life.

If you see having sex with as many women as you can as part of your purpose in your life, then, you’ll most likely pursue this route.

A ‘coaching conversation’ with Brad, while taking a rest break between exercise sets.
Helping Brad, help himself, achieve something he cares about and become more of who he wants to be.
Through belief, hope and effort + hear, within a tailored program, one can find ‘balance & symmetry’ that is vital to overall Peak Performance and being the Man You Can BE.
Self-discipline is key to any sustainable change.

Positive Self-discipline

Deciding not to have sex with other women but the woman you’re with requires discipline. Positive self-discipline does not mean self-suppression. No. Far from it.

Self-discipline is simply – practice!

Self-discipline ‘puts your money where your mouth is.”

Self-discipline begins where ‘lip service’ ends.

All other qualities such as positive self-awareness; positive self-esteem; positive self-control; positive self-motivation; positive self-image and so forth are absolutely worthless without self-discipline.

Self-discipline should not be seen as ‘doing without’ but instead should be viewed as “doing within’, because it is a mental practise. A mental practise based on repetition.

Explaining some of the finer points of training to Vicky during my ‘coaching conversations’ with my students.
Better athletes train smarter.

Seeing without seeing through simulation

I use a lot of ‘seeing with images’ and quite easily simulate. I’ve been doing this for many years and it is truly amazing how these images manifest itself in to my perception and ultimately, my reality.

The art of ‘seeing’ without seeing is an underrated skill and one you should apply to your life. Everything begins with your thought, so disciplining your thoughts of having sex with other women should be practised.

Why practise?

Because to develop your mental strength, you need to think like a winner, and strive to learn the art of simulation. A skill that champions and winners in all fields have mastered.

 

Practise does not make perfect. Perfect practise makes perfect.

Let’s keep it simple – remember, the simple format for learning a skill or habit (in this case, choosing to not have sex with another woman):

  • Desire
  • Information
  • Assimilation
  • Repetition

So, there you have it. Work on your self-discipline, beginning with your philosophy on life.

Nothing else but self-discipline can make or break a habit. Self-discipline, alone can make a permanent change in you.

Self-discipline is your key to controlling your desire to sleep with other women.

Enjoy the beauty and radiance of the other women that cross your path and discipline yourself to not act on your thoughts of sleeping with the woman. But, if that is part of your purpose in life, then go right ahead.

The former decision will surely not adversely affect you, your relationship with your wife, kids and family

Choose well, my friend.

 

Cheer & Ahoy!

The old Captain Viking Pirate … & saying no to thoughts of sleeping with other women with the tool of self-discipline.

Photo op with a local resident and her dog. Lovely.

A variation of the ‘back single biceps” pose … on the beach.
The combination of chaos + order = Life.
Find your balance. Find your beauty. Find your truth.

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Who are YOU?

We’re all captaining our ships through the changing ‘seas of life’.
Captain well, I say. Captain well.
Resolve to continue to get better at life.

Dreams  shape our future.

I have dreams.

Sometimes.

Do you?

One of my dreams is for a future world that is better for all.

It is time for us as men to become Real Men, to put the Gentle back in Man. The world needs more Gentle-Men. It is time for us men to reject this fragile ego business.

We use it (fragile ego) to cover up our failures and avoid looking at ourselves. We need to look at ourselves with honesty and with dignity.

What’s happening to Men? Have men forgotten what it means to be a man?

Thus, the women and children in our lives, who, it seems, have better egos than we do, must pick up the slack. They seem to take responsibility for our actions and feelings.

Our sons become the men we are.
Be responsible to YOU first. Become the Best Real Gentleman you can be – for you, first and … our sons will have the best template they can build on

Resolve.

What has Men become?

Come on guys!

We need to resolve to try to look at ourselves with integrity, let us do some soul searching’. Let us try to struggle honestly. How do we expect to grow as a man, an individual … a human being?

They say that the best way to overcome fears is to face them. Take action. Action eliminates all fear. Face your fears with the comforting belief that God is always by your side.

So, as Men, we need to be confronted by our actions, messages and weaknesses (I know I have many) if we expect to learn and grow.

As I tell all muscle-building enthusiasts, “we need to leave our ego at the door”. Men, I propose that, us men need to stand tall and deliver.

We need to stop hiding behind excuses and refrain from blaming others. We need to discontinue hiding behind phrases like, “This is just the way I am.” What a cop-out, what a load of rubbish!!

Let’s be honest with ourselves, Men.

Being honest with ourselves is probably one of the most courageous things a man can do in his world. Look honestly at his inner soul and take actions to make him a better person.

Continuously.

Let us have a good, hard look at who we are. This is very important to the future of the world.

Why?

With the next generation of Valentine males – Zachary.

Our sons use us as their blueprint

Who YOU are is the best indication of who our sons will become.

The future Champions and Champion Leaders of our future world making decisions that will impact on the fate of the world.

To save the future world, we, as Men, need to save our ‘inner world’ and be the BEST Real Gentlemen we can be. Our future world depends on it.

Again, who are YOU?

Read that last sentence again.

My son and I.
Provide the best blueprint you can of what it means to be a man.
He needs you now more than ever.
Save him now so that tomorrow’s world will be saved too.
Vv.

Let’s all resolve to become increasingly aware. Take sufficient and appropriate actions and most importantly, adapt.

Hard YAKA.

I believe we can do it.

JUST DO IT!

How do we begin?

The answer lies in the question.

BEGIN.

Cheers & Ahoy!!

 

The old Captain Viking Pirate …. & his thoughts on Stopping. Reflecting. Adapting. Taking actions and adapting.

Be the light unto yourself with faith in God.
And then … be the light for the future men of our world – our sons.
Be the light that illuminates the path they are to follow.
We are the source of light in their young lives, with God’s help.

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