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FEARING FEARS.

My fridge magnet. Have courage. Continue to fuel your courage … every single day of your life.

To Risk or not to risk?

The question we all face today and for the rest of our lives is this : to risk or not to risk?

I believe everything we do is built on a foundation of confidence. Whether you’re a student or a master in your field comes down to your confidence in your abilities and experience and … risk to your professional reputation.

I believe that there is an inordinate level of security-mindedness in our modern-day societies. Perhaps We shouldn’t be surprised that in our post 9/11 world, the topic of of risk is a sensitive one.

Prior to the recent covid , in recent history, Scientists have regularly made headlines with warnings about such new risks as (as examples) : bird-flu pandemics and flesh-eating bacteria and old risks like category 5 hurricanes and earthquake-triggered tsunamis.

I believe we live in a world where risk -benefit analysis has become a recognised science… where “risk management “(an area I worked as a senior consultant to multinationals for almost 10 years) … is a popular college major .

It prepares more and more young professionals to work in all manner of industries

But …. here’s the thing …

No matter what safety steps we take or what security precautions we adopt, our risk of death 💀, say, is not approximately – but EXACTLY – 100 percent.

There is no margin of error in that statistic.

Courage is the springboard to success in anything worthwhile.

Elevated Risk-Taking.

I spent my early childhood in a culture that encouraged risk-taking and … a sense of wonder and mystery… one that did not put more of our trust in technology. One that did not think about increasing regulations whenever something goes wrong.

No … there was a communicated emphasis on community & togetherness. There was purposeful shift towards more trust, more care and more compassion.

Three things I think the world needs more of.

My question is: in our modern-day societies, what impact does people’s abnormally elevated security-mindedness has on people’s willingness to take risks now ? That we are being taught one way (in our educational institutions) …. This is the way I remember doing when I was in year 7. There is nothing extraordinary about it … I’ve been doing that since I was in early secondary school and then we learn it again university and further education . … and in our professional careers.

It is a great feeling to do this … but make sure it isn’t your ego that is leading. Stubbornness, well that’s ok.

Life itself is a Risky Business.

I think RISK & FEAR has become an increasingly significant word in American lexicon. If you google these 4-letter words … you’ll receive more than a billion references in less than a second.

I believe people are more sensitive to risk today than at any other time in history. So many are kit merely preoccupied with risk & fear … but I think are often downright schizophrenic about the topics.

This anxiety about risk permeates in American society and impacts it in endless ways. Good. Bad. Ugly. And sometimes ridiculous. American society dictate the world’s societies because well, America is the Super Power.

This fear mongering is everywhere and in everything… embedded deep in the psyche of modern-day citizens, many of which are unaware.

For example, It’s why we have surgeons general warnings on every pack of cigarettes. There are just so many examples of this “fear” everywhere … down to even a phrase : “fear setting”.

How did society become so intrigued by fear /risk – and so worried about it at the same time? People forget that Life itself is a risky business. We have heard many parables and/or stories … and most of us know the messages behind these stories.

Question is – do we truly UNDERSTAND?

It’s like the adventurer who was asked why he climbed the mountains and answered, “because it’s there!”

He took the risk. That’s the message… he just DID IT! No FEAR babee!!

Have no doubt. Help yourself first. You are more than just YOU… God will meet you half way … he ALWAYS does. All you ahve to do is: BELIEVE.

So-called EXPERTS DO NOT always have the last words …

I truly believe the US and many modern societies (Europe and Australia) have cultures that has developed this intense love-hate relationship with risk/fear, in part because it’s always there.

I believe we are seeing a timely and unprecedented convergence of trends and historical & current developments that supports the contention that we (Americans and western societies) are more focused on, and aware of, the risks/fears we face today than any other society In history.

And why?

Well… simply because we can.

People can easily equip themselves (technology) to recognise, understand, catalogue, measure, compare and know more about fears/risks they face than any other society in history.

One truth I’ve learned in my experience in Risk Mamagement is that so-called “experts” (in all fields) DO NOT always have the last word on risk/fears. Sometimes they only add to people’s doubts and confusions about the uncertainties and fears/risks people face in life.

The ratings-driven nature of the media today only further distorts people’s perspectives on the risks/fears they face. As a result of people’s misperceptions, I believe people overrate and worry more than they should. Despite the mind-boggling amount of information available today…. there’s clearly a huge gap between people’s perception of some fears/risks and thee actual magnitude.

Building your strength in the gym is only one definition of what it means to be ‘strong’

What risks /fears do people really need to worry about?

So another question is: what risks/fears do people really need to worry about?

How in the world does the average person make reasonable and wise decisions about their fears and risks they face when their perspectives on the subject is so often distorted? How does the average person decides what risks are acceptable?

Rather than worrying /reacting to every fear/risk…. what’s more important is the skill at discerning which ones you can do something about.

In other words, the wisdom to know what to worry about and the courage to find solutions to the issues and act on them.

I also believe not all fears/risks are bad.

Very important point: WISDOM is different from, and often more critical than, KNOWLEDGE.

In fact, I believe that too often, all information we’ve been given, all the risks/fears we’ve encountered and contemplate.. & all the warnings people receive from so many sources actually combine to skew people’s perceptions.

So, what hope s is that EFFECTIVE Risk Analysis and decision-making becomes MORE difficult rather than less.

So… back to my previous entry – instead of losing ourselves in all the knowledge before us and sliding into more worry, people should exercise more wisdom.

I think it was Teddy Roosevelt who once declared-

“Far better is it to dare mighty things than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much.”

I’m convinced most of the success I’ve experienced in my life so far and the majority of my personal and professional accomplishments over the years is from a practical formula I developed and used from my early childhood.

I have helped thousands overcome their fears using this formula … and

It hasn’t failed me yet.

It has never failed.

Want to know the “fail-proof” method I use? Get in touch with me.

Until next time,

Keep punching…. Don’t stop believing… most importantly , in –

YOU!

P.

Change your philosophy, change your life. Vv.
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The importance of the choice of LANGUAGE in having a HEALTHY SELF-EXPECTANCY.

I AM. I an Entrepreneur of IMAGINATION. Through Mastery of Self, I am able to be an Agent of Creative Destruction to allow the release of new ideas … new thinking … and a new Meaning. Meaning is the NEW MONEY.

Coaching conversations..

Over the years I have listened to many individuals. Listened to their stories.

Over the years I think I have had in excess of twenty thousand conversations with people of all ages. From teens to ninety-year olds.

Over the years I have had many coaching conversations. In these coaching conversations, I have helped increase individuals awareness of how their perception of events in their lives either propel them forward or hold them back.

I have listened to others and the way in which the stories they tell ourselves have the power to hold us back or propel us forward.

As an example …

The bottom line is that I wouldn’t be the person I am today if my hearing hadn’t been terrible when I was young. Neither would you.

This is why taking the time to properly frame our narratives and the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves can be so critical.

Keep your dreams alive . Snd if you’re going to dream … Dream BIG. You serve no one by being and thinking small. Think BIG!

Re-frame in away to move forward ..

Self-pity for being dealt a bad hand is easy.

Self-awareness is what brings with it empowerment and insight.

This, important first step is sometimes hard.

The first turns your past into an anchor, while the second turns it into the wind that fills your sails and keeps you moving forward.

Is there some piece of your story, personal or professional, that you’ve been able to reframe in a way that moves you forward, instead of holding you back?

Wonderful question for all to ponder. I’m one of the most self-aware person you will ever meet, but that is nothing new to me as I have been this way since I was a kid (from the adults who knew me in my youth).

Everything happens for a reason. Success is not an accident. It is based on the Aristotelian Principle of CAUSALITY. Today, we call it – “the Law of CAUSE & EFFECT.”

Cowboy 🤠 House.

Here’s one I’d like to share – I was raised by my grandparents as my biological Dad died when I was 4 years old, trying to save a person from downing … and was overpowered by the victim and drowning with that person). My biological mother was only 16 and had a choice to have an abortion but I thank her and God that she didn’t.

Her decision to give me life has allowed me to not only live but to do what I do – predominantly, helped people, help themselves building their bridges from where they are to where they desire to be over the last 3 decades.

Anyways, I grew up in a large extended family – grandparents, grand uncles and aunties, uncles, aunties, cousins and siblings and … visitors and extended family visiting.

My home was always full and was always noisy. Our neighbours used to call our home – the “Cowboy House”.

We didn’t have much of anything – food (there were no less than 10 people to feed every single day … and I do not know how my grandparents managed to do this), didn’t have much material possessions (my grandmother used to sew my school uniforms) … but the home certainly had a lot of love.

There was a lot of storytelling and sitting around talking almost every night. It was just part of the home … part of the culture.

Because there was so much noise, most kids would not be able to concentrate/focus. But, I told myself way back in early Primary School that I will teach myself to study/do school work/read in … noise.

My teachers couldn’t understand how a kid (me) could get Top Academic Results every year.

Most kids/people need peace and quiet to FOCUS, so we are told. “How does Paul do it?” I would over hear some teachers say. In my adult life, I have continued to learn/read/focus in any environment, no matter how noisy or ridiculous is.

The only photo I have as a baby with my biological mum. One of my 3 Mums in my life.

Focus on what you can control

I remember my grandfather telling me many things (he was a very wise man) … saying something to the effect –

“Paul, focus on what you can control … and do the best with what you’ve got … don’t be part of the problem, always be part of the solution”.

I’ve always applied that in my life, not focusing on insufficient resources and constraints .,. But on HOW I can do better with what I have. That philosophy along with many others, has helped me create the life I’ve always imagined and realise short-term and long-term goals.

Growing up in an family environment that had very limited resources (except for love … the home was always infused with LOVE), has allowed me to almost always have an overall attitude of personal optimism and enthusiasm.

I completely understand the psychosomatic relationship – psyche and soma – mind and body … better than most (hence sculpting a Physique worthy of representing Australia at 2 x World Natural Physique Championships and placing in the Top 5 in consecutive years).

I am fully aware of how the body is the physical manifestation of the mind or in other words, the body expresses what the mind is concerned with. I’m a strong believer that life is many things … and one of which is that life is a self-fulfilling prophecy…. That you usually get what you expect.

My ‘tough’ upbringing has allowed me to develop a healthy self-expectancy and eliminated all forms of excuse from my vocabulary as … I expect to win, almost all the time. I have no doubt the so-called ‘luck’ is the intersection of preparation and awareness.

Leadership ability begins in the home … children learn character building in the home Be the best character you can be … for YOU, first .. and then for your kids my two children a number of years ago

Life … a very real game but not a gamble.

I look at life as a very real game .. but not a gamble.

Part of what I have done over the last 3 decades is help people, help themselves build their bridges. I have learned and taught many things. It seems that every individual tends to receive what he or she expects in the long run.

From my experience and deducing from other people’s experiences in my life so far … it would appear that you may or may not get what is coming to you, or you may or may not get what you deserve – BUT YOU WILL nearly always get what you expect.

As someone who has mastered the art of body re-engineering (building muscle and reducing body fat to < 4%), believe me when I say, there is an intricately close connection between your mind and body … a negative thought can cause your ‘look’ (that you get judged on) to go from excellent (Top 5 and finalist) to awful.

I’ve learned and mastered much of the ‘mind-body-heart-soul’ interface connections and one important one is this – mental obsessions have physical manifestations. Basically, you BECOME WHAT YOU FEAR – you get what you expect – you are that which you expect to be!

Here’s the thing – since all individuals are responsible for their own actions and cause their own effects, optimism then, is a choice.

Choose well, my adult friends.

Balance & symmetry brings you closer to harmony … to beauty …closer to infinity. Just like mathematics does

Optimism, Enthusiasm, Faith & Hope.

What is needed is : continual fueling of – OPTIMISM, ENTHUSIASM, FAITH & HOPE.

Each is a synonym for – having a HEALTHY SELF-EXPECTANCY.

So, my question to you (if you’ve made it this far) is –

1. Do you have a healthy self-expectancy about things in your life?

2. Do you expect the best for you – in life and as a way of life?

3. Do you look at problems/constraints as opportunities?

With regards to question 3 above, try this little exercise and let me know your answers –

Make a list of your KEY problems/constraints –

> the ones that block your professional and personal fulfillment.

> Next, write a one-or-two sentence definition of each problem/constraint.

Now, rewrite the definition, only this time view it as an opportunity or exercise to challenge your creativity and ingenuity (some refer to it as ‘re-framing’).

Here’s a tip: view the solution as you would if you were advising one of your best friends.

So, where does your thoughts stand in relation to your Self-Expectancy now?

Write in and tell me all about it.

Thank you

Yours in care, compassion & trust,

Paul

A fridge magnet 🧲 I bought almost 20 years ago. Practise this.

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DO YOU KNOW?

Believe. Embrace Creative Destruction. You never know what you’ll discover.

Here’s a little poem wrote (unedited) … I write as I think 💭… here we go –

Do you know?

That ..

To know is to not know?

That

To know but not know that you know

Is ..

akin to one who sleeps all day and so does not know

But …

To not know and not know that you not know

Well …

That is as good as one who is dumb-shit, you know!

And …

The last standing, lone warrior

The last one ☝️ …

The last one ☝️ we all need to stand for

And follow

Now.

That is the one that knows

The one ☝️ that “sees” what others do not see

The one ☝️

The last one standing

Knows that he knows

That lifts all spirits of those who believe to and fro

To be cheered for again and again

Because

He is one who cheers for all

And stands for all

Not because it is his right to do so

No

Because it is the right thing to do

You know…

Again and again

For

He is one who knows that he knows

In a sea of ones who think they know

And

do not know that they do not know

For

They think 💭 they see and say the right words to pretend that they see

But to no avail

Because

Truth always shines through

Always

Like the sun ☀️ will rise and set

You should follow the one because that is your best bet

To find your truth

Your beauty

What do you think 🤔?

Do you think 🤔 you know?

Which one are you?

I don’t know

Do you know?”

– GURU Paul 💝alentine –

My gift 💝 to you, fellow Insta tribe-within-a-tribe -within – a….

So… there you have it … a few thoughts from me … what say you?

Have no doubt. Help yourself first. You are more than just YOU… God will meet you half way … he ALWAYS does. All you ahve to do is: BELIEVE.
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What does IT all mean ?

What’s on my mind?

Here is one ☝️ loooong thought 💭, posing questions –

I love this quote. Increasing your awareness is parameters to having clarity and success in your life. SEARCH. Become the BEST ‘searcher’ you can be. One day .. you may find ALL the answers you’re seeking for YOUR questions to give ‘meaning’ to your life. A wonderful book says – “Seek and ye shall find; Ask and ye shall receive.” True.

What does IT all mean… ?


Me, you, everyone else … everyday?
The Everyday.
What does IT all mean?
The empty words .. the useless thoughts … the lies we tell ourselves.. the lies we tell others … the ineffective actions.. the roads, the cars, the buildings, the bright lights … everyday …
The Everyday.
The thing we call and hang on to called …
Life.
The Life…
… we thought we had … the life we now live … the life we thought we would have…
The Life …
we would like to Create.
What does it all mean?
When does Life begin?
In the womb ?
… at conception?
Why?
When does laughter really begin?
In the womb?
At conception?
Why?
Life …
When does life end?
When does laughter end?
Does life end when laughter ends … or is it the other way round?
Does it matter?
Does IT begin with the rise of the sun ☀️.. everyday?
Does IT end with the setting of the sun 🌞.. everyday?
Is the Sun our true measure of time?
Is the sun our pendulum of …
Life?
What does IT all mean?
Where does our “time” go?
Why do we think being “busy“ is important… is right?
What about what’s left?
Who gets what’s left?
Of time … of
Life.
Why should there be a “waste” of time, when you, me, no one … can control time?
Who makes that judgement?
Is it better to fill our time with laughter?
Why? How so?
What do you believe?
Do you believe… that you’re the INFINITE?
Why?
Why not?
Do you believe you’re the culmination of each and each & every improbable moment that led to your existence?
And what about the SCARS you carry?
Do you wear them with pride? With honour?
Like badges you’ve collected along your path … your way?
For ALL to see?
Why?
Why not?
What are you hiding? Who are you hiding it from?
Does it IT really matter?
You hesitate?
Don’t!
Don’t even allow any of your future precious moments be taken up by “looking down on yourself “
There are enough people in the world who would gladly do this – “put you down … “
So, don’t do it to yourself.
It’s not worth your …
Life ..
That is THE INFINITE.
YOU are … The INFINITE.
So…
What does IT all mean… anyway?
What abyss of time does IT fill?
IT …
The Life…
“What does IT all mean?”
I curiously ask…
Anyone? “

– GURU Paul –

So, there you go … a slice of my thoughts 💭 –

💝alentine 💝itality 💝itamins…. For life.

Stay strong. Harness your courage.

Yours in iron, muscles 💪 & 💝itality,
P.

Try … to be wise. Success is the result of being just a little bit Wiser, not necessarily, intelligent, compounded over time. How wise are you?

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Family Living is REAL Living.

Can you see “me” in my son? Can you see you in your son? Genealogy.

REAL Living.

What is “Real Living” mean to you?

REAL LIVING to me, is the Family, or rather, happens in the Family. It Happens where the family calls home, wherever that may be.

My family home is a place where my kids Learn many things.

they learn & reinforce how to play, have fun, care & be compassionate in our family.

Daily life is abundant with laughter.

We’re almost always celebrating.

Something.

Even when there is nothing to celebrate, we just celebrate LIFE.

My family, to me, is where REAL LIVING takes place.

My kids, wife, dog & I have breakfast, lunch & dinner together.

Not forgetting all the snacks between them.

We watch tv together, go to live concerts together.

My family have private jokes and go to our local church together.

We attend concerts, rugby games & community functions together.

My wife & kids hanging out with me for a few hours in our Family Gym. The gym was my children’s playground.

GIVE & TAKE.

My kids learn how to COMMUNICATE.. where communicate means to GIVE & TAKE.

My kids learn & practice what it means to keep commitments & promises.

My wife & my long-term marriage vows is on display, everyday.

My kids are learning many things from us… especially that they know they are REALLY LISTENED TO, taken seriously & understood.

They understand that LISTENING IS LOVING.

It is a prelude for their future, observing the quality of our 20 years union.

My family is not perfect.

Matter of fact, we are imperfectly perfect.

We have our own unique set of quirks and it is welcomed and accepted by all members…. Even my random thunderous farts 💨… he he he !!

Outdoor Family activity.

Quality MOMENTS.

My kids did not choose this family, but are forever connected to me & their mother.

I try to spend as much time as I can with my children.

They are ALL QUALITY MOMENTS.

To me.

I hope, when they look back as adults – they remember this phase of life in this family, as some of the best years of their lives.

My kids, my family, is my genealogy… my link … my connection, from my past to their future.

I cherish mine & their changing roles and love the interconnection with my family members.

Like Protein is the building blocks for growing muscles….

My family, your family, all the families of the world … is the basic building blocks of our communities, our societies, our cities, our world.

It is where the miracle of “US” is practiced & reinforced.

My wife and kids

Love.

Above all else, I hope my kids learn about the meaning of LOVE.

They see it in action.

Every single day.

They are learning that Love is an ACT OF WILL, not a STATE OF MIND.

We try and reinforce that love can only be BESTOWED and not demanded Or commanded.

They learn to love and be loved …

To FEEL love in all seasons …

To witness all the phases of the moon,

To FEEL the sun from both sides.

I love my family… almost more than life itself.

Thank you., & may God continue to shower his blessings on you and your family & loved ones.

Until next time,

Paul.

Covering their dad in sand

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What is your MESSAGE to the world 🌎… when you leave this world?

My grandfather. My dad.

I was raised as a son by grandfather.

He was my grandfather. My Dad.

He died when I was 19. Six years after his wife, my grandmother died.

I spent a big part of early childhood with my grandfather. He didn’t say much but he had many little “coaching conversations” when appropriate (I later realised what he was doing after he died in my late teens).

At University (almost 30 years ago now whilst doing my second degree in Accounting/Business Management ), I read a book by the author Ken Blanchard called “the one minute manager”. I realised then, that the management style my grandfather was using in relation to raising me and the family household, was the same as what the author was espousing in the book.

I cry. I cry for my Dad. I cry inside. I cry for many things. I cry … invisible tears. Tears that would fill multiple Olympic-sizes swimming pools. I cry for all those suffering from injustices in this world 🌎. I cry out for justice. From God.

A Man’s Man.

The best manager I have ever worked for was the CEO/Managing Partner of a Top 20 Accounting & Business Advisory. I was there for about 3 years and was some of the BEST years working as an “employee “.

This man, was a Man’s Man … a Clint Eastwood demeanour with a Tom Hanks (heart .. when appropriate). His physical presence was intimidating. He was a former Australian ranked boxer and his reputation for results preceded him.

Everyone was scared shitless of him. They trembled in their seats when they heard him coming down the passages and everyone avoided him.

Accept me.

I found him fascinating and I loved him and his management style. I thought about why (after I left) and it was because he reminded me of my grandfather.

I didn’t buy into the fear and the water-cooler stories about him that became part of the Firm’s Legendary stories. So, I decided to “get to know him”.

Beauty & Ugliness entwined. there is no beauty without the ugly. there is no right, without the wrong. There is no particle without the wave. There is no logic without the insane. There is no ying, without the yang. Learn to embrace BOTH SIDES OF YOU …& seek BALANCE & SYMMETRY. Through & with GOD.

No need for Sir, call me Bob …

As he walked by the cubicles in the morning, I would yell out – “Good morning Mr E…!” The other staff couldn’t believe it… I actually spoke out snd greeted him.

The first time … I would hear his footsteps pause and … then continue. The following morning, I did the same. He did the same.

On the third day .. he stopped and then said –

“Who is that?”

I stood up from my cubicle and replied –

“Paul ❤️alentine, sir!”

He laughed and said –

“No need for Sir, call me Bob... snd a good morning to you, too.”

From then on, each time he walked passed by Cubicle, he would call out my name and we would end up having chats. Matter of fact, he preferred me to handle many of his clients and over time, we would become very good friends.

It got to stage where, he would only allow me to interrupt him in any meeting he was in. No one else in the Firm could do that. There was a level of TRUST that he had in me that no one else got.

When he had to “Sign off” on Reports and Files … he would go through others’ files with a fine-tuned comb, asking many questions. With mine, he just wanted me to give him the “gist” or executive summary (usually one page of the Risks and my personal assessment)

He would always ask me one question –

“Are you happy with me signing Paul?”

I would say yes or no.

He would act accordingly.

Who are “YOU?” Learn to love ❤️ YOU, first.

The One-Minute Manager.

The “one-minute managed” approach is to be very FIRM in your values & principles snd DO NOT compromise on INTEGRITY. EVER.

This is communicated EFFECTIVELY. There is no ambiguity. … ALWAYS communicated CONSISTENTLY, CLEARLY and CONCISELY.

Integrity is what most Good Leaders have. But, RE-INFORCED integrity is what GREAT Leaders have. They NEVER sacrifice their MORALS & ETHICS in ALL that they do & say and say they do.

That is the One-Minute Manager…. On Enthusiasm Turbo-Boost. That is what the world needs right now … more GREAT LEADERS in all KEY areas of life.

“What is your message ?” I ask.

What is the message you leave to the world, when you … leave this world?

The one-minute manager approach primarily relates to the FEEDBACK being TIMELY and SPECIFIC. For example, when I fuck up with something on a client, I would hear his footsteps come towards my seat. I would feel his presence snd his hand rest on my shoulder (as I looked at my computer screen). I could sense his frustration snd he would say –

“Paul, you fucked up. Learn from it. Don’t do that again”

And then he was off. He was the first to reprimand me and “pull me in line” as soon as the incident occurred.

The reverse is also true. When I did a great job and exceeded clients expectations, I would hear those same footsteps again …

His hand on my shoulder, looking in my eyes and saying –

“Great job Paul, well done. Keep it up, son! Take the afternoon off!”

My salary increases in 6-monthly reviews were in the top and I had one of the best corner cubicles in the Firm. Many other staff were jealous but … I learned that TRUST is one of the foundation stones of any relationship.

I’ve almost always adopted this Management style in almost all my dealings with people, as an employee, managing groups/teams .. and as an Employer, managing egos.

Do you trust – YOU?

Out of interest, what are your top 3 to these :

1. What 3 words describe your Vision for your business?

2. Do you believe in YOU? 3 strengths you have as a Leader?

3. Do you TRUST “you?”

4. Do have a need to be “liked” by everyone? Do you have a need to be “agreeable “ with everyone?

Again….

What is YOUR MESSAGE?

This is one of the KEYS to almost ALL successful communication to any audience: know your message.

Now … snd when you leave this earth.

All the very best,

Until next time,

P.

Have the courage of a Tiger 🐯. Do what is RIGHT, Always. Live. Die. With Dignity.
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History, Family & Storytelling … & Torch Bearing.

With my gritty Viking Pirate 🏴‍☠️ Intelligent, caring & compassionate daughter, Olivia. She has heard me say many stories … over and over again.

There is Power💥 in Storytelling.

I’ve always loved storytelling.

I remember sitting with adults when I was a kid, Listening to their stories. They would say –

“Paul, why don’t you go and play with your cousins & friends outside”

I would reply –

No, there will be time to play with them later”

I’ve listened to hundreds of other people’s stories when I owned & managed my Family Gym for 7 years.

I love 💕 telling stories.

I believe there is power in storytelling.

My wife and kids. I Storytell until they get fed up… then I know, they know.

It begins in the home.

It begins in the Home…. Practising the art of Storytelling, that is.

Home is where the foundation of storytelling starts. I recall listening to my dad & his close friend’s tell stories around the Kava bowl. In the home, I got a strong 💪 foundation… Of a past that lends my existence a place, a sense of belonging, a historical context.

Home is where stories get passed on for generations. I have continued with this 💝alentine tradition. My two kids can retell the stories I tell .. because they have heard them countless times. And as my daughter says –

Dad, it keeps changing all the time”

And I say –

Aaaahhh… yes, my dear … that is where facts and imagination fuse in the optimum place”

Home is where I was told that I am built like & physically intelligent like my grandfather, Ben Valentine. A powerful & skilful National heavyweight boxing champion, going undefeated for 3 years in his prime.

Home is where I heard stories of my quirkiness from early age & my creative & innovative nature in my early youth. I heard stories of my country of birth through the filter of my own genealogy.

Struggles, family migrations, family triumphs, as well as ancestral successes & failures were taught to me through the history of my 💝alentine Family.

In my Home now, it is a place where I build my own legacy: through my love 😍 for history & storytelling, I have shared & will share more stories I was told in my youth with my children.

Always, adding my generation’s story to this 💝alentine Novel in progress. I’ve always believed the REAL histories of families aren’t the records of births, deaths & marriages. No, to me …

… they are the stories told after dinner, while having chocolate or dessert. So full and satisfied.

For i have learned many things so far, and one important one is the importance of LEGACY.

Legacy is fueled by US… in our family. It is fueled by ME. And all this evolves from our history… our family stories passed down …

As it is …

Our IDENTITY. Our ROOTS.

Balance & symmetry brings you closer to harmony … to beauty …closer to infinity. Just like mathematics does

Tell it to your children…

I found a passage from the Bible:

“Tell it to your children,

And let your children tell it to

Their children,

And their children to the next

Generation.”

– Joel 1:3, NIV

I tell my kids that one day they will bear the 💝alentine torch 🔦. They will continue to write their chapters if their lives through their storytelling.

Knowing that they have a very strong identity and they will continue to shine the torch 🔦 and build on the legacy that they inherited…

Through the strong foundation of the 💝alentine Family history through storytelling.

I am still the current Torch Bearer of the 💝alentine Family and I make a toast to all future Torch Bearers of my family and all families …

Carry the Torch with pride & Live & Die with dignity.

I love 💕 you, ALWAYS.

Yours in care, compassion & trust,

– Paul e 💝alentine –

Me.
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My son turned 10, today.

10!

I sit back and go … “wow!’

Where has time gone? Ten years went by … .like a blink of an eye. Memories… that is all we have … shared memories.

We have many.

The young man and I. Cruising.

He knows he will always have a home.

He has spent his first ten years of his life, with me, his mother and his sister. Spent it in our home .. which is HIS HOME. 

I like to think that his home is a place of celebration, a continuous celebration of Life. His home is the place where he can let down his hair and just be, himself. His home is where living happens and laughter rocks the walls. 

I’d like to think that his home is the place where he learns to play, to have fun, to relax, to love and … to pray. Each day in our household is a celebration. Everyday, our Family prayers allows us to reflect on our life so far … with GRATITUDE.

Our home is A celebration of Life.

There is an abundance of laughter in his home. So loud that it carries all the way to the streets and neighbours.

Enjoying Kayaking together in Sydney’s beautiful seas

His home is where Real Living, takes place.

He learns how to work, how to play, how to eat, how to ride in cars together, how to attend Taekwondo lessons, how to play music in bands virtually, how to watch youtubes and videos, how to host friends, how to take care of his self, how To be a better brother, how to be the loving son that he is, how to develop our own private family jokes (usually they love “roasting’ me).

In our home .. his home, we try not to take life too seriously. In our home … a home of celebration we thrive in conversation and accept that humour and laughter is essential elements to our Family cohesion.

Our home … his home … vibrates to us and to everyone around us that … 

“This is what life is all about. In a nutshell, life is what happens in our home … it is where he is celebrated.”

He loves creating stuff. With all kinds of tools.

Home is where … 

My son … has his Nintendo game, his soccer and rugby balls, his books, his swords, his toy guns, his snacks. 

Home is …. Being able to walk around in his undies all day … home is Eating cold watermelon and tropical pineapple together at the dinner table on a winter day. Home is where he is allowed to yell … to get angry … and it is ok. Home is where he can play wrestle games in the bedroom and backyard and come out of it … unscathed.

Home is where he gets unlimited hugs and kisses and learns about the important things in life. Home is where he learns how to agree to disagree and resolve conflicts.

Home is where he learns to be appreciated and listened to. Home is where his strong sense of self … his powerful self image … his confidence is built. Home is where he understands his responsibilities to contribute to the family to make it work … that little things, matter.

To sum up … I hope my ten year old son learns much … in our home .. his home.

One day, I hope, he would look back and realise that home is where he discovered wonder and learned to not only Dream … but …. To Dream BIG. One day, he remembers to repeat some of … OUR traditions … OUR unique family qwirks … our UNUSUAL ceremonies.

I hope that one day, my son looks back and views his time in his home .. our home as a period where he not only FOUND but …. EXPERIENCED, JOY.

With … his dad (me), his mum, Cathy, his sister, Olivia and our pet schnoodle : “Mr Fussy/Fuzzy Cuddles”.

Until next time,

P.

Can you see “me” in my son? Can you see you in your son?
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Nakedness, Humility and Vulnerability “exposes” you but this is where … Life, BEGINS and GROWTH CONTINUES.

Guilt. Repent from your heart. Your soul. Find your authentic self again.

Repentance.

Do you practise repentance? Why? Why not?

When you’ve done something wrong and/or have wronged someone, you firstly need to take FULL responsibility for it.

You Repent.

You repent because you realise that, that inexcusable wrong can be judged or forgiven. Inexcusable wrongs can never be understood and overlooked. Fake Repentant people seek and beg for forgiveness, with no thought of deserving it.

Yes, you read that right, they don’t deserve it. 

That is not fair – to the person that has been wronged and not fair for the person who has wronged.

To gain trust back, perpetrators need to own their “inconvenient truth” (to borrow a phrase from US Vice President Al Gore).

Truly Repentant people are people who finally understand God’s amazing grace. When you truly seek repentance, know you need only to confess to experience the forgiveness from God Almighty. 

Forgiveness is ALWAYS there in infinite supply.

My family. My dog: “Mr Fuzzy/Fussy cuddles” is missing

Selfish Choices.

Recently, I got into a very big argument with my wife of twenty years. It was probably the biggest blue we’ve had in our time together. It involved her and my family. To get straight to the point, I was an Asshole … well, okay, I was a HUUGGE Asshole! I even called myself one during the fight.

Alcohol was involved. Correction: excessive alcohol was involved.

On reflection, it is quite obvious that I was being a selfish prick! Yep, you read that right. I was being a thoughtless spouse. And here I was imagining that on my deathbed, my children and wife will remember me for many things but for mostly being the most THOUGHTFUL human being they have ever known.

After this incident, that dream/imagination may not manifest into reality. I fucked up, and my selfish choice was not “thoughtful “. I simply fucked up!

You see, whether we are adulterers or thoughtless spouses (like me, in this instance), the problem with all of us is one of perspective. Instead of thinking of our thoughtlessness (in words or actions/deeds) as INEXCUSABLE SELFISH CHOICES, we stubbornly regard our interpersonal failures as UNDERSTANDABLE MISTAKES. Understandable mistakes, can you believe that?! It comes down to a small but significant factor of perspective, or the way we view something.

And in my recent case: I clearly made a selfish choice and my perspective was NOT the right one.

To find your Authentic self, you need to embrace your demons

Seek to understand first.

I’m not one for giving excuses or listening to excuses, but during and after that big argument, I found myself giving excuses. It just rolled out of my tongue and the strange thing was that I was fully aware of this roll-out while it was happening. And here’s the catch: I did not stop this conveyor belt of excuses.

When I reflect, I realise that excuse-making has been a part of almost every area of life that has humans participating. Excuse-making has been a natural tendency in people since, I guess, Adam blamed Even for eating the apple and … Eve blamed the Snake for persuading her. It’s been around for a long while. 

I guess, without some form of self-justification, we are forced to look at ourselves in the mirror, just as we truly are … not necessarily, the image the mirror reflects.

Now, based on how I argued in that fight, the standards I adhered to fell very short of God’s standards. My actions and words deserved punishment.

I read somewhere that a wise person seeks to understand before wanting to be understood.

That is something I need to improve in my life. What about yours?

What does your mirror reflect of you? What if it reflected who you really are? What would it reflect? What feedback would your emotional and logical minds give you? Would they reinforce each other? Would this spark Fears and would those fears escalate? How would you control them? Tip: take responsibility.

Joy evolves from misery.

When we really look at ourselves in the mirror and truly see ourselves as we are, would we accept our status as sinners.

And what are sinners? Sinners, like me, are worthy of judgement. We are powerless to improve ourselves … and are humbled that our best deeds provide no defence.

We are GUILTY!

Guilty in the eyes of GOD.

Is this fun? It isn’t someone’s idea of fun, surely. However, fun … joy, yes, joy … had evolved and can evolve from misery.

If you desire it. 

Here’s how …

Co-Captain/CEO of our Viking Pirate ship in the different seas of life .

Be Naked, be humble, be vulnerable.

Be naked, be humble, be vulnerable.

That is how Joy evolves from misery. Throughout my experience and learning from other people’s experiences, I’ve learned that those who make themselves naked and vulnerable and basically more human, are the ones who get the most trust.

Or at least, get part of or most of the lost trust back.

It is through the process of embracing genuine nakedness, humility and vulnerability, that you find your AUTHENTIC SELF.

I believe, moving closer to your authentic self is not only where life BEGINS but also …. Where JOY blooms and your GROWTH CONTINUES.

Now, as a Physique Artist, I regularly strip down to a pair of “g-strings” on stage, under very strong lights to display the ‘flow of muscles’ … and ‘paint a picture of moving art’, using my sculpted physique, from my heart … to the hearts of the audience.

It is one of the closest you can get to being naked, humble and vulnerable. By being vulnerable, humble and exposed, I find you allow yourself to be more open and transparent. This is important for any relationship. For me and my wife, this is vital. Always has been.

I am an “open book” and this nakedness, this humility, this vulnerableness, demonstrates to her that that I have nothing to hide ( or an impression anyway).

Now, allow yourself to strip yourself of EGO and wear your “G-STRING of YOUR SOUL”. That takes COURAGE. Seek Courage… for without courage, no great achievement is every attainable.

For me, in all my most important relationships, Trust is vital. It is one of the key foundation stones of my 21 year relationship with the most important woman in the world to me- my wife.

I believe Trust is Powerful; it always has been.

ALL the very best to you

Yours in iron, muscles and mind,

Cheers & ahoy from beautiful Sydney, Australia!

Me in my g-strings during Competition in bodybuilding/physique artistry.
“Back Double Biceps” in the heat of competition! Change from the gym to the stage is quite significant with management of key variables being extremely important. Placing: 2nd in Australia
I love this quote. Increasing your awareness is parameters to having clarity and success in your life. SEARCH. Become the BEST ‘searcher’ you can be. One day .. you may find ALL the answers you’re seeking for YOUR questions to give ‘meaning’ to your life. A wonderful book says – “Seek and ye shall find; Ask and ye shall receive.” True.
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Men & Fathers who Nurture.

Did you have a father that invested a great deal of time and energy in to your life? Or was he in the shadows … or almost never around.

In my 7 years of owning and managing my Family Gym, I came to really know men from all backgrounds and status in society. My gym membership was about 70% male.

Over time, I came to notice correlations and strong causation between their behaviour as grown men and their relationship with their dads in their childhood. It didn’t matter which race, culture or status, there were some strong connections.

Can you see “me” in my son? Can you see you in your son?

Happy Men & Not-so-happy Men.

Do you consider yourself a “Happy Man?

Who are the happiest Men in society? Not by any kind of horizontal segmentation but as a species – “male”.

I think there are Happy Men and the not-so-happy men in our modern-day societies.

Experience has indicated that the men who are the happiest and most content in the masculine role today are those whose fathers put in the time and effort in their upbringing. And continue to do so.

I’ll refer to them as the “Happy Dads” in society.

These Happy Dads had dads who were around to begin with. Dads that were committed to maintaining a positive, nurturing, encouraging relationship with their sons. These Fathers of Happy Dads provided that secure foundation and supported their sons in their ups and downs.

The sons (Happy Dads) had support from their Fathers with their careers and decisions they made and acknowledged their achievements.

These Happy Dads had dads that were just “there for them”. No excuses, full-stop!

Time spent with your young man is NEVER bad use of your time.

RETURN ON INVESTMENT (ROI)

That consistent loving time spent with their sons (not “quality “‘time), paid off … in time. These Father’s sons, who the the Happy Dads of today are, I believe, among the most well-adjusted and peaceful husbands and fathers in our modern-day societies.

Are they increasing? Are they easily recognised?

Does he look like you? Your friend, maybe?

Like Father-like-son. I think I am a Happy Man… mostly. Are you?

MINORITY RULE.

I believe these well-adjusted and peaceful husbands and fathers is and has been on the decline. They could be safely said to be in the “minority “.

Normally, I would say that in a democratic society, the majority should rule. In this instance, I believe that this minority should rule … these men should be the norm and not rare and abnormal.

We need these types of men … Happy Dads … to flourish again and increase.

What do we do? How do we go about this?

I believe it is up to me, you and … all the current dads/fathers reading this and out there with young sons… to commit to these young impressionable souls.

It is up to us, Fathers/Dads/Husbands.

Being there for your young man is vital to his overall understanding of a BALANCED Man.

STOP REARING ANGRY MEN.

The majority of men today are struggling to recover from relationships with fathers who failed to nurture, affirm and validate them at some level … or all levels.

These sons (who are now fathers/dads/husbands themselves), are left with a legacy of pain, confusion, frustration, anxiety, bitterness, fear & anger. A lot of these men never had a choice in having their father in their lives as the mothers decided to bring them up as single parent.

I believe a big percentage of These adult sons are the angry men of our societies.

We need to stop rearing angry men.

If you’re part of the minority that is, the Happy Men, congratulations 🎉! Go and give your old man a hug and tell him you love him…. and just give him thanks for being there for you through your tumultuous years of youth.

You probably already do … and have.

That’s what Happy Men do.

Cheerio for now, Until next time …

Learning and absorbing our habits every single day of their initial phase of their lives is what our young Princes do. Teach them well.
My gritty Warrior Viking Pirate 🏴‍☠️ prince 🤴

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