a better life, accountability, action, adaptation, awareness, balance, Beliefs, better choices, choices, courage, decisions, Energy, examined life, game of life, genuineness, Goals, taking action, truths, your life

The big mistakes I see people making when it comes to muscle, fitness and nutrition.

 

Enjoying the sun at a local beach.

In my line of work, part of what I do is help people, help themselves with change as they transition through various phases of life. I help people, help themselves re-engineer themselves in to the person the imagine themselves to be.

A Life affirming approach.

I help men and women of all ages and sizes help themselves, find their best selves and work towards increased balanced and symmetry – externally and internally.

Someone asked me the question posed in the blog heading recently, and it got me thinking. Put simply, people don’t stop, start from a clean slate and prepare for the beginning and the end. Upon reflection of my experience over the last quarter of a century, I have attempted to answer it below –

I have found that ….

People don’t begin with belief.

People don’t begin with trust.

People don’t begin with hope.

People don’t begin with love.

People don’t begin with patience.

People don’t begin with a dream.

People don’t begin with their imagination.

People don’t begin with simplicity.

People don’t begin with continuity.

People don’t begin with gratitude.

People don’t begin with care.

People don’t begin with discipline.

People don’t begin with courage.

People don’t begin with balance.

People don’t begin with harmony.

People don’t begin with the end in mind.

People don’t begin with responsibility.

People don’t begin with their heart.

People don’t begin with desire.

People don’t begin with forgiveness.

People don’t begin by unthinking.

People don’t begin with acceptance of responsibility.

People don’t begin by aligning their philosophy with nature’s principles that is fundamental to Life and living well.

People don’t begin with the end in mind.

People don’t begin with the unconscious.

People don’t begin with their spirit.

People don’t begin by being still.

People don’t think.

People don’t DO.

Enough.

People don’t begin by giving….

So …

People don’t receive …

Enough.

But letting go of things you hold dear is very difficult and the little things, like letting go of a habit that is not life affirming can be very difficult. Neuroscience research tells us now that letting go a habit can take anywhere between 31 and 267 days. Wow! So, be patient and be kind to yourself if you’re thinking about making a change in the way you look.

The fact that you are ‘thinking’ about change is a win in itself. Before a change, any worthwhile, life-changing change can happen, you must want to have a change in mind-set. Now, to do this, even before you think about exercise, dieting or your fitness, you should firstly accept YOU as you are now, not the you – yesterday. The present self “is”, and your former self ‘was’, and in truth, your ‘was’ self is not identical to your ‘is’ now.

They are not the same.

People change, you change. Life is about change, if you’re not changing, you’re not living!

So, let go of the ‘was’ self (past) by letting go of any and all regret and guilt resulting from the past ‘was’ self. The past cannot be rewritten, but you can view it through different lenses and re-framing your view of your ‘was’ self. Tell yourself that past errors are mainly due to limitations in perception and ignorance and that they belong to that ‘was’ self at a certain point in the time continuum. It was all part of the learning process and gaining wisdom and was unavoidable.

This applies not only individually but collectively as a human race.

Most importantly, tell yourself – your ‘is’ self (now) that the habits that were acceptable in the past is no longer acceptable today and now. All regrets and guilt of less-than-ideal and less-than life-affirming habits that helped create the ‘was’ self is now boxed up and viewed simply as an error of judgement, ignorance, mis-perception or miscalculation. Put simply – an error.

All this brought about as a consequence of a limitation of human consciousness.

The first stage is self-forgiveness. This is facilitated by humility but also acceptance of this limitation (by letting go of the ego).

Solution: Begin with the right philosophy, filter and remove beliefs that are no longer relevant, acknowledge your soul and then reach out and …

Embrace the ‘is’ YOU with your whole being. Show you care. Feel your love. Allow the healing to happen – to you and those you value around you. Changes then become long-lasting and sustainable as you chart your new course through the sea of life.

All the best in your choices,

 

Until next time,

The right strategy –
” a quality plan + quality implementation
===> quality results. A quality strategy
of a balanced nutrition, exercise philosophy and rest of the body, mind and spirit helps you achieve a ”6-pack”.

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a better life, balance, belief, courage, Energy, grace, gracefullness

Grace.

A 'coaching conversation' with Brad, while taking a rest break between exercise sets. Helping Brad, help himself, achieve something he cares about and become more of who he wants to be. Through belief, hope and effort + heart.

A ‘coaching conversation’ with Brad, while taking a rest break between exercise sets.
Helping Brad, help himself, achieve something he cares about and become more of who he wants to be.
Through belief, hope and effort + heart.

Are you graceful?

Do you consider yourself a man or woman of grace? If you do, that’s great, you’re way ahead of the majority. I read somewhere recently that there is a never-ending worldwide shortage!

What does it mean to be ‘graceful’?

I would think graceful means balanced, elegant, subtle, effective and possibly artistic. A graceful person gets things done, but does it in a way that is beautiful and you would be happy to have him or her repeat it.

A graceful person raises the standards of everyone close by, forcing everyone to the top, not to the bottom. A graceful person is the person we cannot live without, the one who makes the difference.

There is no such thing as being born graceful. It’s not a talent, it is a choice! Only one person could have that exception and that is Jesus, our saviour.

Jesus’s birthday is only one night away now and it got me thinking….

What a beautiful and graceful man Jesus was – a man that was the epitome of grace. Do you think you know him or do you know the celebration of his birthday more – Christmas Day?

It’s not easy knowing Jesus, not easy at all. He has very high standards, especially relevant in the modern-day’s world where there appears to be none in many areas of life. I say, be prepared to stumble if you want to get to ‘know’ him, as I think everyone who ever tried has stumbled, and more than once I think. I know I have.

But what do you learn when you fall or fail, you learn how to pick yourself back up faster, don’t you? So, don’t be afraid to fall or fail. Pick yourself up and try again and find a better way.

Knowing Jesus means that you have to be disappointed when he doesn’t meet your wrong expectations. Notice I said ‘wrong’ expectations.

Knowing Jesus may also spur you on to become something or someone you thought you could never do or be. Achieving the seemingly impossible.

Through his help, the impossible is made possible. Don’t stop believing!

He will remind you in various ways of how much you need him. And you do.

Knowing Jesus is a little like building muscle – he breaks us to pieces so that he can put us back together again, but this time in his image – his grace. Just like muscle, you need to break it to pieces so that you can nourish it and allow it to repair and grow. A definite fusion of chaos and order.

All Christians are work-in-progress, all under construction. I know I am. However, the most powerful thing for a Christian is the unwavering belief that Jesus, the son of God, born on Christmas Day – is our saviour.

Christmas Day is many things to many people but like I said in the previous blog post, Christmas to me is everything. Christmas is life. Christmas is a celebration of the birth of the world’s saviour. That, even in this fast-paced, ever-changing world, there is something that is un-changing. Something that we hang on to courageously.

We humans, we Christians, still have the courage to hang on to the belief that Jesus is still needed. Courage to believe that he was born on Christmas Day and died not long later but he will also come again.

Christians (and non-christian’s) insistence on celebrating Christmas could also be interpreted as an outward expression and belief that we (the world) still hungers for Jesus grace and hope.

Let’s pray that the world increasingly gets filled with more people like him, filled with grace. People the world just can’t do without.

May you be filled with grace this Christmas.

 

Until next time,

Feeling the 'essence!' Believe. Believe. Believe! Make the impossible, possible!

Feeling the ‘essence!’
Believe. Believe. Believe!
Make the impossible, possible!

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adaptation, ageing, awareness, belief systems, change, choices, courage

Be what you are.

The Best of the Best. Phil Waugh - retired ex-Australian Wallaby & Warrahs Captain willing to embrace knowledge.  Increasing his awareness towards being the BEST HE IMAGINES HE CAN BE, using my framework. An A+ Student!

The Best of the Best.
Phil Waugh – retired ex-Australian Wallaby & Waratahs Captain willing to embrace knowledge.
Increasing his awareness towards being the BEST HE IMAGINES HE CAN BE, using my framework.
An A+ Student!

Knowing when it is time to ‘move on’ is very important.

Recognizing the various stages in your life is very important. Doing the right things at the right stages of life is important too. What’s key is that we need to be aware of these phases, take sufficient and appropriate action and adapt accordingly.

We all have experience of this already as it is beyond our control – baby to toddler; toddler to a young boy or girl; early teens and then late teens; the trying twenties and then the thirties and then middle-age. And it goes on … until you die.

I would like to talk about the change we have some control over. Most of the time it can be a very difficult time. You will experience emotional hurt and pain and more than likely, your actions may hurt others too. There is hurt and sorrow in the short-term but it is better for everyone in the long term.

There was a time in my life when I was doing group aerobics/body pump instructing and aquarobics instructing – back in the mid-90s, during my undergraduate years. I enjoyed helping the thousands of people that I saw over the four years and I was very good at it.

I could have continued and opened up my own franchises but I didn’t. Circumstances and philosophy on life changes and you find yourself saying “now, that’s enough of that”. A person’s philosophy is like the set of a sail on a ship he is captaining.

That was one short but important phase of my life. I felt that it was time to move on. And I did, with my first undergrad degree in hand, seeking work experience in a different field for a while.

But, letting go can be difficult. Matter of fact, it is probably one of the most difficult things we humans can endure in our life-time. Letting go of our bad experiences in our past; letting go of anger; letting go of guilt; letting go of friends and so forth.

It takes a lot of energy and courage to let go and to … move on.

Have you ever felt that way?

Have you ever felt that it was time to move on from a phase of life; a job maybe or even a career? Or have you ever felt that it was time to move on from a business relationship or friendship?

Recognizing these ‘moments’ and listening to your ‘inner-voice’ of reason and hard facts to tell you that it is time to move on is very important to your contentment in life.

A lot of people don’t move on for fear of the unknown. Fear holds people back like an anchor for a ship. Familiarity also keeps people from new adventures. But, not trying something new, not venturing in to unchartered territory as you sail your ship through life could result in you missing out on possible opportunities that may lie ahead in a different path.

Sometimes, opportunities come clothed in an overcoat.

Don’t let your ship be controlled by the changing currents of the seas. If you don’t make the change, someone else will. They say that a person’s philosophy is a major determining factor in how a person’s life turns out.

You could conclude if you desire to change your life for the better, you need to change your philosophy.

Re-set your sails and cut through the changing currents you face as you captain your ship through the sea of life. I suppose I would feel that way about a lot of things in life. If I feel that the activity doesn’t interest me or have an element of ‘freshness’ in it, I move away from it. Some people choose not to, but I believe it is very healthy for one to do so.

I move on from it.

Retired Ex-Australian Wallaby & Waratah's Captain - Phil Waugh doing triceps press-downs and "feeling the essence" with perfectly performed repetitions. A great example of a human being striving to be the BEST he can be - for himself, first and then, everyone else. All day. Every day.

Retired Ex-Australian Wallaby & Waratah’s Captain – Phil Waugh doing triceps press-downs and “feeling the essence” with perfectly performed repetitions.
A great example of a human being striving to be the BEST he can be – for himself, first and then, everyone else. All day. Every day.

 

Take your profession seriously but don’t take yourself too seriously. I think a lot of people make this rather childish mistake – taking themselves too seriously.

A long time ago, a wise man once told me at his birthday party not to take myself too seriously. He said that in the whole scope of life, the little things that go wrong and that you might stress about don’t really matter a whole lot.

Wise man. I agree.

The little things you stress about – for example, being late for an important meeting or missing a deadline or looking like a fool at the company’s Christmas party or missing out on a job – is minute in relation to the whole circus act out there, out there in life.

Meaning: You only really matter to a certain degree – so don’t take yourself too seriously in the process of various stages or projects/activities you undertake in your life.

That is life. That is as good as life gets…. So far (as Homer Simpson would say)!

If you take yourself too seriously, you will anchor yourself and won’t be able to move forward. You don’t help yourself and you can’t serve people any better. You would not be much help to society either. So, do yourself and everyone a favour and ‘lighten up’!

If you believe in you and your abilities. If you believe that change is inevitable, that change is good. If you believe that change is necessary then you will agree that the whole of life is a series of change and if you’re not changing, you’re not living.

The key ingredient is to work on improving your CHANGE MANAGEMENT skills.

If you’re confident enough in the way you feel, and in your abilities, whether it’s in an art form or whether it’s just your line of work, it comes off! You will always find a way to succeed.

Therein lies your hidden treasure: Confidence.

You don’t have anything to prove; you can just be what you are.  

As another wise man also said: Besides, Everyone else is taken.

 

Until next time,

Fully focused! A true warrior & champion.  Focusing on making every repetition of every set of every exercise as ideal as possible.  Practise does not make perfect - Perfect practise makes perfect! Photo: Retired Champion Ex-Australian Wallaby & Waratahs Captain and player in action under my watchful eyes.

Fully focused!
A true warrior & champion.
Focusing on making every repetition of every set of every exercise as ideal as possible.
Practise does not make perfect – Perfect practise makes perfect!
Photo: Retired Champion Ex-Australian Wallaby & Waratahs Captain and player in action under my watchful eyes.

~~Life COACH~~

~~Life COACH~~

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action, adaptation, awareness, belief systems, Beliefs, change, choices, courage, Energy, game of life, Imagination, life, long-term strategy, perspective, planning, respect, self-image, you

Real Love for The Real Man.

Every man needs to wake and release the 'champion' within him. Let it loose. Let it fly. Let it go. In his own way.

Every man needs to wake and release the ‘champion’ within him. Let it loose. Let it fly with wings. Let it go and serve others … In his own way.

I mentioned in my previous blog The Simple-Complex Man”, it is without doubt that being a father is difficult in today’s world but, I believe, being a man – a ‘Real Man’ is more difficult.

Look around us and the avalanche of images and messages that bombards us, every day, of what a Real Man is. In Australia and most of the developed world, it is heavily communicated in stereotypes in beer ads or car commercials. A lot of these stereotypes I find, conflicts with what most men out there think of themselves.

There are a lot of great men out there but many of them are confused. Confused of what it means to be a REAL MAN. Let me elaborate …

You see, from my experience in helping hundreds of men in gyms over the last two decades, a lot of men are so much more than what these narrow stereotypes convey. Really shallow stereotypes actually. What is even more concerning is the various messages of ‘love’ and what love means to a ‘Real Man’. The majority buy in to these stereotypes and meet disappointment in life – sooner or later.

Very sad indeed.

Like I said, it is very difficult for a lot of men out there. A lot of men who don’t know what it means to be a Real Man.

I must admit that I do not know the full answer but I do think that a big part of being a Real Man is that he is AUTHENTIC.

We learn many definitions of ‘love’ and we can think of many examples of what it is. Some think it is impossible to understand or define. Fair enough. It does not, however, mean we should not try to understand it.

You see, as I see it, for all you men reading this, “Love” for a Real Man is simply this: Action. Remember that saying “action speaks louder than words?”. Well, I think certain elements apply here.

There’s also another definition and for you Christians reading this – a Real Man will love a woman the way the Bible says it to. I think even the most militant feminist would not dispute a love like THAT!

I believe if every man out there just has one goal and that is: to be the BEST MAN HE CAN BE. For himself, FIRST and then for everyone else. And, when he leaves this world for the other world, he might just come close enough to be a REAL MAN.

From my interaction with men of all ages over the last two decades, I have deduced that Real Men have a few common traits –

  1. He treats his wife RIGHT (in all areas of life).
  2. He is a SERVANT rather than a MASTER ( I would like to think my wife and I are Co-CEOs)
  3. He will do the RIGHT THING (doing the right thing is quite different to do what he has the RIGHT to do. Everything he does, he DOES WITH 100%. Why? Because nothing else would measure up).

So, how are you faring with the above traits (they are by no means exhaustive but are 3 that first come to my mind, deduced from my large sample of men over the last two decades)? Are you a Real Man? When can you call yourself a Real Man?

Well, let’s keep it simple. As I see it, there is only one way: become a BETTER SERVANT. Even the great Mother Theresa said that we need to serve ’til it hurts. I think this should be every man’s motto for his love for his woman. Yes, all REAL MEN seek to SERVE. Keep giving of yourself to your woman. To give is to serve.

If you’re a christian, then just like Jesus Christ, our saviour served his beloved followers. All GREAT MEN seek to SERVE.

This can be quite difficult to accept because most of today’s men are told the opposite with all the unfiltered messages being absorbed in to their minds, their ‘thought factories’. These unfiltered messages tell these men that they should grow up and find a gorgeous wife who will take care of his needs.

He then spends his entire existence seeking out that someone, he is brainwashed in to believing that she will bring him happiness because she will SERVE HIM. In return for this fulfilment of his distorted delusions of what life and love is and what it means to be a Real Man, he is made King of his Castle!

Yes, he works very hard. It’s the ‘manly’ thing to do, after-all he is told. He works very hard and gives her everything HE THINKS SHE WANTS. 

But is that really what the woman wants? I beg to differ.

I have helped many men and women transition through very painful separations and divorces over the years and have felt the pain with them. It is very difficult for all parties involved. What I have noticed was that a lot of these women did get everything (from a material sense) that money could buy. A lot of these women had men who bought them everything THEY THOUGHT THEIR WIVES WANTED.

Costly mistake. I am appealing to all men reading this and all men out there to not make this mistake, like so many men have made before you.

What I found was that most of these women were miserable. Why? The reason I am about to tell you is something people don’t seem to talk about and may surprise some of you readers but I think it is one of the major factors in the consistently high divorce rates in society. Men reading this, I think the one very strong contributing factor that made these women miserable was that they were permanently PUT IN SECOND PLACE!

Not fair at all.

No one likes being in SECOND PLACE in anything for too long. Believe me, I know what it is like because I came 2nd in the Australian Natural Body-building Championships in three separate occasions. Came so close, within a whisker … but to no avail.

Very dis-heartening and demoralising.

So, what I have found is that by the time I help these men and women during these painful transitions, most of these men do not fully understand what went wrong. A lot of these men are a little confused and I don’t blame them.

They are confused because they cannot ‘see’ how they have put their woman 2nd all along. But by the time I see them, it is too late. These men just cannot put their woman first.

These men cannot because it goes against every fibre of their being. It goes against everything that they have been taught in all the messages society has pumped in to him from early child-hood. From within his family, his neighbours, his schools, his friends, his extended families and all the advertising messages and shows.

It surrounds him and blinds him. Chokes him. The Real Man is chained within, as he suffers silently. Like so many men in today’s world do. Suffer in silence with inconsistent definitions of what a Real Man is. His whole belief-system is distorted and he has been following blindly.

He cannot be blamed for total responsibility for this, if everything, everyone and his whole world is telling him that the distorted definition of Real Love is what it is. The world has inverted whatever that was made perfect by God. That of the real definition of love for a Real Man.

And do you know what the imitation is? Do you want to know what the counterfeit is dear readers? Do you know what the substitute is (just like there is for almost all genuine products out there)?

It is this: LUST.

It is everywhere and this is one of the many reasons I believe it is very difficult just to be A MAN in today’s world. Just like all non-genuine, unauthentic, imitation products and parts you buy – LUST can be cheaper, looks good and is just like the REAL DEAL. It can be very satisfying and bring excitement in to your life for a little while.

But, it is NOT TRUE LOVE!

You see – Lust, takes. Love, gives.

Lust is all about you, your selfish desires – your need to be the MASTER. Love puts your woman’s desires FIRST. Love puts SERVICE to your woman at the top of your ‘TO DO’ list.

Lust takes – for your selfish benefit. Love GIVES, for the one we love. This GIVING MUSCLE keeps growing if you feed and train it right. Strive to become a Real Man. All day. Every day. For the rest of your life on this earth.

Search for Real Love. Curb your enthusiasm for lust.

Lust is temporary, it will perish. Love is forever – in this lifetime and infinity. Even though you will return to dirt when you die, your soul – your spirit, your consciousness, will remain in the universe for all eternity. Your love will keep GIVING and you will be fulfilled beyond your desires.

… knowing that you were a REAL MAN while you were breathing and walked this earth. That you truly loved. That you were truly a servant to her – that you genuinely SERVED.

Those that you leave behind will have memories of this man. This version of a man that …. Went against the grain and was a … Real Man. To all Men reading this, I leave you this last message:

Be your AUTHENTIC-SELF. Tell the TRUTH. DO and BE YOUR BEST – ALWAYS. Take care OF YOUR FAMILY. RESPECT YOU – RESPECT OTHERS. Never stop DREAMING. Follow your DREAMS.

 

Until next time,

Connecting the dots through 'mind-muscle' communication via the nervous system strengthening. Hold!

Connecting the dots through ‘mind-muscle’ communication via the nervous system strengthening.
Hold!

 

~~Life COACH~~

~~Life COACH~~

All photos taken by Robert Walsh Photography. Visit “www.robertwalsh.com.au” for an authentic artist. A true professional. A lovely human-being that is Robert. Vv.

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awareness, choices, courage, Energy, respect, you

If Only.

 

February 2015. At my old school gym, just about to do a set of barbell biceps curls or  what I would sometimes refer to as 'loading the guns with ammunition'.  Hope you're wearing your bullet-proof vests, take cover!

February 2015.
At my old school gym, just about to do a set of barbell biceps curls or
what I would sometimes refer to as ‘loading the guns with ammunition’.
Hope you’re wearing your bullet-proof vests, take cover!

There is always high emotion when any of us lose a loved one or loved ones. There is an overwhelming sense of sadness and sorrow. All sorts of thoughts run through our minds and one thought I would like to highlight is that of – guilt.

It is inevitable that when we live and love another human-being deeply, we will eventually hurt them in some way, shape or form. We all do and say things we later regret and we know what ‘buttons to push’ to hurt our loved one(s).

There are always ‘ups and downs’ in all relationships and sustaining a relationship you value is a constant building project of loving, hurting and reconciling. I think it is very similar to the process of muscle building – it is a repeated process of destruction, feeding and rest/recovery.

I believe, no one can truly learn to love unless you are willing to accept the risks of hurting and failing and being hurt. When we lose someone in whichever way – death, by choice etc., they all give us reminders. Reminders of those hurts and failings, of words we regret saying, actions we would like to take back and incidences we wish we could erase. Depending on the individual, we all feel a sense of guilt, of varying degrees.

Dealing with guilt can be difficult but there are many resources available today that can assist you. One source I found that has always existed is the bible. Whatever religion you belong to, I am sure you find clarity and fulfilment through its teachings.

I am taking a few minutes out to write this blog on Easter Friday (today). You see, my children’s current perception of Easter is predominantly about – chocolates, eggs, bunnies, fancy hats, hot-cross buns and so forth. It is wonderful and they enjoy the traditional Easter egg hunts. Gee, I get in to it too.

However, I do try to remind them of the real significance of Easter and the crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus Christ, our saviour. They are quite taken aback by the gruesome nature of being nailed to the cross. They have much to learn but all in the right time.

It is during Easter that we should all remember that our Lord and Saviour died and gave his own life for us sinners. This was the ultimate act of forgiveness – sacrificing his only begotten son for us, our salvation. This is what Christians should keep in mind amidst the Easter bunnies and chocolates practises today – Easter Friday.

He then rose to give us new life – freedom!

In this Easter break, reach out to someone you may have hurt in some way, shape or form and try to reconcile, just like God has given us the Lord’s supper to provide us with the strength to reconcile with God.

Don’t let the guilt of ‘if only’ linger in your being, regretting that you should have righted a wrong or forgiven. Release it. Reach out and touch that someone special. Reconcile.

There is a prayer that I remember from my days in my youth as an altar boy and I recall it every now and then when the need arises. I think it is from Psalm somewhere and it goes something along the lines of:

God, create in me a pure heart and renew in me a steadfast spirit.”

It summons up courage to love again, forgive, reconcile.

Have a blessed Easter!

 

Until next time,

Working the guns.

Working the guns.

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adaptation, awareness, belief systems, Beliefs, change, courage

Nobody can teach you WHO YOU ARE.

Who are you?

Yes, who are YOU?

Have you asked yourself that question? Yes, maybe once, twice, countless times or maybe never.

From when we are children, most of us have already been asked the question about “what we want to become”.

Right from a young age most of us have had the question fired at us. “Son/daughter what do you want to become when you’re older – a doctor, a lawyer, a fireman, an engineer, a carpenter … ?”

Most of us are brought up in a culture that tells us “you are what you do.”

In my 23 years in the gym and talking to thousands of people, I have found that when people are asked “tell me about yourself”, most people immediately talk about their career as if it was the ‘be all and end all’ about them. A complete definition of ‘who and what they are.’

I think there should be a clear distinction between who the person is and the activity they perform as part of their ‘job’. We’re all just individuals and we’re all doing something. But that something should not define who we are. That is only a small part of who we are, who YOU ARE.

It is important that you never forget that YOU are more important than what you do.

Always.

Keep working towards discovering the REAL YOU. Not the YOU that your career defines you as or the YOU that you work very hard to fulfil others’ perceptions of you. Find the real YOU. That is a journey indeed. A journey in to the heart of darkness as the great author Joseph Conrad described so eloquently.

You need to constantly build on the first ‘A” of my Triple A Approach to Life and Whole-self development and that is to increase ‘Awareness’. Awareness of no one else but YOU, of your SELF. I believe that this is the first step towards any worthwhile, sustainable personal development – to be more aware.

You will find that the more aware you become, more and more of your problems and most of the stress in your life will dissolve too. But, there is a price to pay to develop this awareness. A great thinker once said that “Awareness, in and of itself, is transformative.” This is almost spiritual-like, as you ‘clean up your own act you find that you build a profound effect on the world around you.

You see, there is a connection – a definite nexus between ‘what you do inside and what happens in your life’ and when you work on increasing your awareness, you are forced to consider and question your belief system and various beliefs that comprise it. Some of which had been adopted by you as a choice or without a choice when you were growing up. These beliefs helped form your perception of reality. Your version of ‘the truth’. You kept these beliefs because in kept you safe in your family while growing up.

But times change. You grow up. Those beliefs which influence the way you feel and behave attract certain situations and people in to your life and what situations and people you become attracted to. So, it follows that what you BELIEVE generates most of what happens in your life. When you work at increasing your awareness of YOU, you will come to this conclusion too.

So, my point is this, by increasing your awareness, you will question certain beliefs that may have served you well when you were a kid up until you were 10 years old but does not serve your purposes now, TODAY. It kept you safe or you felt a sense of security when you hung on to these beliefs in your family when you were child.

Here’s the thing, I have found that with increased awareness, you are able to LET GO certain beliefs but you have got to be brave to do so because it is difficult. Matter of fact it is one of the scariest things to do if you’re not used to it. Letting go a belief takes a lot of courage and you have to summon up the courage to do it if you are serious about getting the best out of your life.

“Why?” you may be asking, “should we LET GO these beliefs?”

Well, its simple: because you CANNOT keep believing something that DOES NOT serve you! That is one possible definition of insanity.

But don’t rush it. We’re all at different levels of awareness so go easy on yourself. It takes some time and practice to get good at it, just like anything else, for example we’re all at different levels in our training in the gym when it comes to lifting weights and building muscle.

So, if you accept that what you believe generates most of what happens in your life, and if you don’t like attracting the same kinds of situations or people in to your life then you have got to let go of those ‘self-limiting beliefs’ that are holding you back.

A lot of the price you have to pay to create your new perception of reality is: YOUR ATTITUDE and you are 100% totally responsible for that, aren’t you?

There is no doubt that what you pay attention to determines a lot of what happens in your life. True indeed. So, with an attitude of gratitude make a decision to pay attention to or FOCUS on what you want from life, not what you don’t want.

When I was in my teens , I saw the world with a different philosophy to the way I see the world in my twenties and it was different still in my thirties. My picture of the world and my definition of truth has changed considerably. The ‘truth’ as we see it is really our version of the world based on our beliefs and belief systems.

They, however, don’t necessarily have anything TO DO WITH THE TRUTH. They are versions of the truth. Not absolute truth, only relative truth.

Therefore, if truth is relative and does not have 100% certainty, DO NOT FEAR letting go self-limiting beliefs – beliefs that DO NOT SERVE YOU well, anymore. Accept that if ‘the truth’ changes and is dynamic, not static then there is no need to remain RIGID in your beliefs that feed the truth.

There are not many certainties in life but one thing I know with a high degree of certainty is that EVERYTHING CHANGES.

Everything!

So go with the flow and so be like water and be fluid and flexible with your beliefs and find the REAL YOU, who you ARE, what your real needs are (as opposed to the things you just want) and when you are living according to your REAL needs (somewhat achieved through spiritual growth).

That is probably a point where you will teach yourself more of WHO YOU ARE.

Nobody, I repeat – NOBODY can teach you who you are …. But the REAL YOU!

All the best in your decision.

Until next time,

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adaptation, awareness, Beliefs, dreams

I spy with my little eyes …

Training in my Old School Gym adopting Old School Training techniques with a modern twist. Know the basics. Apply the basics. Adapt to the basics. Keep it simple  and keep it continuous. Its the most efficient, most effective and safe approach to building a muscular physique in the gym. Find a gym with minimum distraction if you desire results. Focus! Paul.

Training in my Old School Gym adopting Old School Training techniques with a modern twist. Know the basics. Apply the basics. Adapt to the basics. Keep it simple and keep it continuous. Its the most efficient, most effective and safe approach to building a muscular physique in the gym. Find a gym with minimum distraction if you desire results. Focus! Paul.

We (my wife and I) play a game with our children we call “I spy with my little eyes” whenever we’re sitting for any length of time. It could be anywhere but mostly when we’re in the car. The kids enjoy it. I mainly like the game because it teaches my kids to be in the ‘present’ and helps increase their awareness of their external environment.

It also challenges them to compete and think. I sit back and marvel at the intelligence behind their thinking and how fast they embrace change.

My daughter is getting quite good at playing the game now and is thinking of ways to make the guessing harder. She dislikes losing but I try and remind her that tasting defeat and failure teaches you to appreciate success and winning, when it happens.

“And it does happen” I tell her.

“Patience is key”.

She has not fully understood the idea of the virtues of patience yet but she is responding to losing much better now than she used to. She is not afraid to have another go. She is slowly learning to face her fear of failure, of losing. A very important lesson to understand in the roller-coaster of life.

I try to explain to her that losing is like falling off her scooter when she is riding her scooter. What’s important is not that she falls. What’s important is that she learns to catch herself better each time she falls and pick herself up faster. And ….

… try again!

This time, with a little more care. With experience, comes smarts.

So, using the scooter analogy, I tell her that when she loses a game of “I Spy with my little eyes’ to dad – to me, or her mother she needs to firstly, accept the loss graciously, learn from it and then ….

… try again!

She does. And she is now winning more games then she is losing and has learned to respond to losing more positively.

Very soon, she will win all the games I play against her. One day in the future, she may remind me of the importance of accepting a loss and being gracious in defeat. I look forward to that day. It will remind me that I will be in another phase of my life and also that we’re all never too old to be reminded of life’s lessons.

It helps to re-set our personal GPS (Goals) for Life if we have gone off course a little.

What is your GPS for Life like? Does it need re-calibrating? Don’t be afraid to do so. Its never too late to re-align your GPS for your Life just like we do when we refer to maps on our phones when we need direction. It never too late just like you’re never too old to join a gym and start lifting weights towards a better YOU.

A small change in direction may result in a huge change in where you end up at the end of your life just like a miniscule difference of 1 nautical degree could change a ship’s destination point by tens of kilometers. Don’t just use your eyes to see what’s in front of you, use your eyes (through imagination) to see what is not there yet.

Desire it. Feel it in your heart.

Reflect. Take some time out to reflect on your life these holidays, in all areas in the sphere of your life – relationships, family, career, financial, spiritual, physical. If you’re waiting to add it to your list of resolutions in the New Year, great!

Reflect on the falls you have had (and lets be honest, we all have had some to date). Take the lessons. Learn how to fall better in the future. Have no fear. Have no doubt. Each fall leads you closer to a better result.

Re-set your GPS, we all need to do so every so often as we journey through life. The New Year is a great time to do so – to catalyze and crystallize your GPS as you work towards a better you.

A better life.

Be safe this festive season and a prosperous 2015 to you!

 

Until next time …

Hello. Merry Christmas and a prosperous New Year!

Hello.
Merry Christmas and a prosperous New Year!

 

Paul V2 (1)

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