a better life, adaptation, awareness, Beliefs, better choices, change, chaos, creation, Energy, game of life, life, long-term perspective, love, marriage, order, perspective, surprises, truths, your life

My E.T surprises.

It’s odd and funny at the same time, when I think about it, that my wife still remains extra-terrestrial (E.T) or alien-enough to surprise me. Even after living together for almost fifteen years.

Do you feel the same about your wife? Does she remain alien-like?

I mean you would think you know her by now and can see through all her tricks right? You know her walk, her talk, her favourite foods and which foods she would find disgusting. You know when she isn’t really in a good mood and needs some space. You think you know her – right?

And then one day, she surprises you!

Wow, isn’t that a beautiful thing – to be surprised by the woman you’ve chosen to spend the rest of your life with. This surprise, this seemingly small thing can have such a significant effect on you. This appreciation can literally increase your awareness, not only of you and your environment but more importantly of your woman. This little surprise has the power to ‘wake you up’ and make you realize what you may have forgotten for a while.

“And what is that?” I hear you say.

The surprise this alien-like person has given you makes you realize that she is her own person. She is NOT an extension of you. She is not a supporting actress of you in a private drama you have written, starring in, producing and directing. No, she is a distinct, unique individual with unique, individual dreams and aspirations and hopes. She is starring in her own movie of her own life, in which she is directing.

Sometimes, like right now when I look at my wife, Cathy sleeping, unaware of me, as beautiful and peaceful as the prettiest sun-rise you can imagine. The face of a sleeping woman, in particular – the face of this sleeping woman, is profound and surreal. Truly a thing of beauty to observe and experience. This face with its natural beauty and balance, with it’s soft lines and delicate symmetry. With it’s hidden eyes and shut lips and amazing curves. A true blessing to witness.

These shut lips are saying to me “fifteen years are barely enough to get beneathe the skin, let alone to the heart – of the mystery that is a woman.”

This mystery woman is my wife. Somehow after fifteen years together, I don’t think a life-time is enough time to understand this mystery, alien-like woman. She is a sweet stranger, beyond the knowing of a lifetime and that is ok with me. It should be ok for you too, when it comes to your wife.

I just love this photo of my wife. My E.T.

I just love this photo of my wife.
My loving E.T who still surprises me.

And do you want to know why that is ok?

Well, because this E.T beautiful being simply surprises me even after all these years. I am glad for that because it renews our marriage. In most important things in life, it is the little things that matter.

Remember: Elephants don’t bite, mosquitoes do. Marriage, like all other complex dynamical systems in nature is extremely sensitive to the little things in life, like these E.T surprises.

These complex dynamical systems (like marriage) are highly sensitive because they are always changing, always on the move, never static, never returning to its original or initial states. The woman and man’s individual complex and dynamic selves are like the changing river of time, changing and adapting within the umbrella of the union of marriage.

As the great Greek philosopher Heraclitus stipulated:

“You can never step into the river of time twice, though it is the same river.”

So, step well my friends.

My E.T surprises that my wife gives me unsettles the regularity and order of the complex dynamical system that is the marriage, providing a wave of chaos or disorder. This is not a bad thing, it is a good thing.

Indeed, I believe it is part of the richness of life.  My life is enriched in every sense of the word with her in it and I wouldn’t have it any other way. My love for this E.T never stops increasing.

All the best in your love for your alien E.T too.

 

Until next time,

Sharing the snow with my E.T.

Sharing the snow with my loving E.T.

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change, change management, chaos, life, order, you

She’ll be right, mate!

Having a conversation with a lion.

Having a conversation with a lion. There is a fine line separating order and chaos.

A popular Australian phrase which means exactly that, that things will turn out alright, not to worry. It is a beautiful phrase. It can be seen as a wishy-washy statement and said by someone who doesn’t really understand or care. But I believe it says more – it is the kind of tough, rough and rugged Trust you need if you are going to make the most of your journey in life.

“She’ll be right, mate!” I have heard people say over the years, and many other cultures have similar sayings. Australians, however, say it so well. That all manner of things will be well and turn out ok. Believe it so.

Belief, after all will allow you to take whatever change lay ahead of you, in your stride.

Change is inevitable in everything in life, this is a constant. The whole of life is dynamic, ever-changing. I am a change agent as part of what I do is help change people’s physical appearance from where they are to where they imagine themselves to be.

We all are, try reflecting on all the changes you have initiated or been part of to this point in your life. You are a change agent too.

I find that change, in whatever shape or form in comes in, so often, is assumed to be change for the worse. Very understandable. I suppose when you look deeply in to the psyche of why you hate change ultimately comes down to one of the most illusive characteristics in our lives today. And do you know what characteristic is that?

Simple: TRUST.

Do you trust anyone (including YOU) one hundred percent? I doubt it. I have found that people’s dislike of change is a result of mis-trust or lack of trust. You don’t trust other people and so it follows that you will not trust the future or what the future holds.

But I think this can be looked at from a reciprocal viewpoint and you could deduce that if there is no trust then there is usually no change.

The first step each and every one of us need to do is to learn to trust ourselves better. When this is achieved, we could try to trust the future and whatever the future holds for each of us. At the end of the day, LIFE has to change – this fact is a constant.

If you’re not progressing (even if it micro-steps) in all areas of life or operating on the same spot (stagnant), that is the first point of decrease. Besides, life is meant to be a journey, with multiple legs as you sail your ship through the sea of life. Life is not meant to be operating stationary.

I read somewhere in the past that said that ships are safer in the harbour. But, these are not what ships are meant to do – be stationary, it is meant to sail. And that is akin to how we should partly view the life we have been given.

The beauty of life is that it throws different journeys for each and every one of us. We all have unique journeys of our own and it is this simple fact that confirms that our journeys take us in to un-chartered territories. The UNKNOWN.

Because most of us fear the unknown, the fear of change is real for majority. A lot of times there is no map or if there is one, it may not prove very reliable. But here lies the exciting part, the opportunity.

As I get older, I have learned that it is from the unexpected twists and turns in life’s journey that has taught me the most. This is the opportunity and it lies in times of turbulence, times of apparent chaos. A lot of times, what may have looked liked little deviations, may in fact turn out to be main roads.

My daughter and I.

My daughter and I.

I like spending a bit of time drawing and colouring with my daughter every week and my daughter had this tendency for perfection in her pictures. A slight error in colouring is enough to disappoint her immensely. I convinced her to not jump to that conclusion until the whole picture was completed. When the pictures were done, I asked her to re-look at the picture and how I turned that ‘perceived error’ in to a strength.

She is learning that making mistakes is ok and you can make ‘order out of chaos/mistakes’ and still create a thing of beauty. Body re-engineering, afterall is a process of change management. Building muscle, like love, is a constant cycle of destruction (chaos), love and care and repair.

An example of the perceived mistake was turned in to a thing of beauty, creating order from chaos. What is undoubtedly fitting to this point is the debate over how to precisely define ‘chaos’ or change. Some scientists confine their idea of the chaos phenomenon to the boundary area between stable and purely random behaviour.

Most believe though, that the most ‘fertile’ area (room for growth and development and progress) of chaos in all dynamic systems (all areas of life) lies in the ferociously active frontier that has been found to exist between stability and incomprehensible disorder.

In other words – in the ‘change period’.

So, there you go, it is in your best interest to accept change (in whatever shape, form or area of life it is experienced) because when you embrace change, you demonstrate pure trust in self and in what lies ahead.

Ultimately, your acceptance of change or chaos, demonstrates your acceptance of the ‘wholeness of life’.

I recall some philosopher saying –

“Life is about change. If you’re not changing, you’re not living!”.

How true.

So, trust. Trust you first and then trust in what the future has in store for you and you will find that these perceived changes in these chaotic periods will not worry you.

Just tell yourself, this is part of the aesthetic beauty of truth and a constant of life and remind yourself “she’ll be right mate!”.

Until next time,

Back lats spread a few weeks prior to the Australian Natural Bodybuilding Titles. Placing: 2nd in Australia. Muscle building is the fusion of chaos and order.

Back lats spread a few weeks prior to the Australian Natural Bodybuilding Titles.
Placing: 2nd in Australia.
Muscle building is the fusion of chaos and order.

"Back Double Biceps" in the heat of competition! Placing: 2nd in Australia

“Back Double Biceps” in the heat of competition!
Placing: 2nd in Australia

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