a better life, action, adaptation, asking questions, attitude, authenticness, awareness, beauty, belief systems, Beliefs, better choices, brain, breaking points, caring, change, Change Agent, children, choices, communication, compassion, consciousness, courage, dads, dads love, Energy, examined life, friends, friendship, fundamentals, game of life, grace, gym, habit, happiness, hope, intimacy, leadership, life, listening, long-term perspective, long-term strategy, love, male, man, marriage, mid-life crisis, mind, Mums, muscle building, parenthood, parenting, parenting skills, patience, perspective, real man, respect, responsibility, risk, saving, self, self discipline, self improvement, self-respect, significance, spirit, success, time, Timing, training, trust, truth, wisdom, you, your life

White Lies & Black Lies.

White & Black Lies should be minimised in families.

Withholding Truth

G’day & Bula & good morning/evening to YOU wherever YOU are in this beautiful planet 🌏!

I was thinking 🤔 about life, as I usually do & the concept of “truth” in particular and lies as well as they seem to be two sides of the same coin.

Lying 🤥, we all do it and have done it over the course of our lives so far.

We lie to others & we lie to ourselves. I guess we could split lies up in to two main types:

1. White lies

2. Black lies.

The 💝alentine tribe (minus our dog 🐶 – Mr Fuzzy/Fussy cuddles. As parents we try to be as truthful to our children.

White Lies & Black Lies.

A black Lie, as I see it, could be defined as a statement we make we know is false. A white lie is a statement that we make that is not in itself false but that leaves out a significant part of the truth.

I think white lies can often be more destructive than black-lying. Think 💭 about it, we all do it almost every single day of our lives , as we consider white-lying more socially acceptable in many of our relationships because we “don’t want to hurt people’s feelings.”

Yet, people complain that their social relationships are generally superficial. Is this the right thing to teach our kids – that, as parents, part of being loving is feeding them heaps of white lies?

Is it right and truly beneficial for the children to not be told the cold truths about matters of life? Should parents continue (& I see this happening every day and have witnessed in many families over the last 3 decades of keen interest) “white-lying?”

So, parents tell each other everything but feed their children white lies. For example, that they fought with each other the night before about their relationship, or that their dad resents their grandparents for their manipulativeness & lack of caring over the years or that mum has a medical problem.

Rational behind white lies is – a loving desire to protect & shield their children from unnecessary worries.

The thing is , the children will know anyway.

Her heart ❤️ (& his) belongs to me … for now.

Protection or deprivation?

The reason to protect the child/children is, at best, a genuine form of misguided love 💕. Protected from what?

Is it really helping & protecting the child/children? Or is it detrimental? I think it would be more the latter.

White-lying is not protection but deprivation!

Children are deprived of many things –

⁃ knowledge about the situation

⁃ Their parents

⁃ Their grandparents

⁃ Life

⁃ People in general

So, ultimately, it comes down to what “version of the truth” are we willing to share with the world?

Can you see “me” in my son? Can you see you in your son?

Is Love the answer … is it Discipline with Discipline?

It also comes down to love and how we define love for ourselves. To tell white lies, do we love more than not telling white lies?

How do you define “love?”

This is a hard one ☝️ as love 💗 is just too large, too deep even, in my opinion, to be truly understood or measured or limited within a framework of words.

The bible tries to explain what love is but I don’t think 🤔 or at least I haven’t come across a truly satisfactory definition of love.

I know what love is not!

Contrary to what we’ve been told , love is not a feeling.(I will elaborate on what l mean another time)

I think love comes down to the desire to nurture one’s own or another’s spiritual growth. And this takes discipline, lots of discipline.

Discipline that needs to be constantly disciplined.

Discipline with discipline!

What do you think? Food for thought 💭.

End of the week … hang in there and continue moving forward in the roles you play in your life.

Gotta go now … have a great day!

Cheers 🍻!

– GURU Paul 💝alentine –

My gritty Viking pirate 🏴‍☠️ princess 👸
Standard
a better life, accountability, action, adaptation, authenticness, awareness, Beliefs, better choices, body, care empathy, caring, change, Change Agent, choices, consciousness, courage, creator, decisions, desire, ego, Energy, examined life, fairness, forgiveness, game of life, genuineness, gratitude, happiness, Imagination, information, justice, Leader, life, long-term perspective, love, mind, mind-muscle connection, patience, perspective, real man, responsibility, self, symmetry, Timing, trust, wisdom, you, your life

I’m, ME.

Here’s a little bit more …. about ‘Me” – a kind-of-a-poem :

I like to Talk, but I”m not an Extrovert;

I like to Run but I’m not a Runner;

I like to Teach but I’m not a Teacher;

I like to HELP the sick but I’m not a Doctor;

I like to Write but I’m not a Writer;

I like to Play with my kids but I love watching them Play;

I like my Family but I like being an Individual;

I’m, ME … I’m not what they say I AM ….

I’m not what I AM ….

I’m, ME!

I like to Sing but I’m not a Singer;

I like to Draw but I’m not an Paid-Artist;

I like Giving Strength to others but I love being Strong;

I like animals but I”m not a Vet;

I like to Eat Chocolate but am not a Chocolate Connoisseur;

I like having a Shower but I love being submerged in a Bath;

I’m, ME … I’m not what they say I AM …

I”m not what I AM …

I”m, ME!

I like being a Husband but I love being a Man;

I like the Beach, but I’m not a Swimmer;

I like the Sun, but I love sitting in the shade;

I like to Rest but I don’t Sleep much;

I like to Eat but I will choose nutrition over presentation, any day;

I like the Rain but I don’t like getting wet;

I like Numbers and Figures but I”m no longer an Accountant;

I’m, ME … I’m not what they say I AM .. .

I”m not what I AM …

I”m, ME!

I like to Write Poetry but I”m not a Poet;

I like to be with people but I love my own company;

I like doing Cardio but prefer driving everywhere when I’m not;

I like Reading but I love most the FEEL of a book in my hands and the way it MAKES ME FEEL;

I like to Pray to God but I’m not Priest;

I like the Brain but I love the Mind;

I like the Past & the Future but I Love the experience of the Present;

I’m, ME … I’m not what they say I AM …

I’m not what I AM …

I’m, ME!

I like to THINK but I’m not a Philosopher;

I like Science but I’m not a Scientist;

I like Leading but I’m not a Politician;

I like Justice and fair treatment but I’m not a Judge;

I like Mathematics but I”m not a Mathematician;

I like to give Compassion & Care but I don’t work in a Hospital;

I like Sex but I love making Love;

I like Exercise but I love FEELING THE ESSENCE of that “mind-muscle-heart-soul” connection during weight-training;

I’m, ME … I’m not what they say I AM …

I’m not what I AM …

I’m, ME!

I like to Live a good Lifestyle but I love, Life, more;

I like to Start things but I don’t like Finishing many;

I like to Destroy and Breathe and Create Growth;

I like Evil but I love when Good triumphs;

I like Fights & Arguments … just for the chance to “Make-Up”;

I like to play the Devil’s Advocate to encourage Debate;

I like to be Active but I love to be Still;

I’m, ME … I’m not what they say I AM …

I’m not what I AM …

I’m, ME!

I’m, ME.

I hope you liked it.

My gift to you,

Yours in iron, vitality & connecting to Wisdom,

Standard
a better life, accountability, action, adaptation, attitude, awareness, beauty, Beliefs, better choices, body, caring, communication, compassion, consciousness, courage, creation, decisions, Energy, examined life, game of life, Goals, gratitude, happiness, honour, hope, Imagination, Knowledge, Leader, leadership, life, long-term perspective, love, opportunity, patience, perseverance, perspective, reflection, responsibility, self, self discipline, self improvement, self love, self-image, self-respect, success, time, Timing, trust, Vitality, weird, you, your life

Sometimes, you just need to GET OUT OF YOUR OWN WAY.

What do you think?

What actually drives us to DO what MATTERS to us most?

What is it that actually drives us to implement what matters to us most? What do you think? Hunger? Love?

In my experience, it would have to be something that would make you feel more alive, independent of the opinion of others or outside metrics of success. Once you’ve established that, you should then ask yourself the question –

“why haven’t I begun it, yet?”

Personally, I’d like to continue to increase my awareness and most importantly, continue to build my COURAGE/boldness reserves & continue to live a life true to myself, not the life others expects of me.

“And why courage?’ you may wonder.

Well, because without courage, nothing great is ever achieved.

As Vincent Van Gogh said –

“ What would life be if we had no courage to attempt anything.”                         “

It’s What you need to do. Work at summoning up your courage.

What do you think you would need to do, to Just DO IT?

What is magic to/for you? Do you create magic and use the magic WITHIN YOU.

Sometimes, you just need to Get out of your own way!

To do this & implement it successfully & enjoy the process, you will need to learn (and un-learn irrelevant things) to be more agile. IN order to achieve this and be engaged by it, I believe (for many people) … sometimes, you just need to … GET OUT OF YOUR OWN WAY!

And …

Learn to work with who YOU ARE, BETTER. … build on your strengths and based on the value of your work has provided & will provide … by Limiting your options to ONLY the – “Top 3” so that making quick decisions is easier and …

… allow YOU to move from the Intangible (dream) … to the Tangible (physical form).

So that you can say (at your death-bed) that –

I tried to honour at least some of my dreams along the way, as I lived my life.”

Appreciate your Uniqueness. if your uniqueness makes you weird, so be it.

Boldness has genius, power & magic in it. DO IT NOW… tomorrow may never come.

Keep fuelling that courage of yours because … I believe, COURAGE/boldness is the greatest tool for realising your/our dreams…. and bringing it into our physical reality.

Many years ago, I bought a fridge magnet a year before realising one of my physical goals/dreams – to be the BEST in the world at my chosen sport of NATURAL physique artistry/bodybuilding almost 15 years ago now. As most of you know, I realised and made that goal a reality … and that goal and those words on the magnet resonates with me…

NOTE: it was exciting & scary to represent your country against the best from other countries in the world and be bold and confident enough to compete and make the Finals (Top 5) in the world.

The magnet (photo attached ) still sits on my fridge and had a quote that Goethe said –

“boldness has genius, power & magic in it.”

My fridge magnet.

DO IT NOW, tomorrow may never come.

Yes, it is Old wisdom, & it has helped me in many things that I’ve Done and am doing … this old wisdom is as relevant now and the near future/ tomorrow as it was back then.

So … I say, desire to be a MASTER at being bold & invest the necessary time to invest … and continue to fuel your courage in everything you say and do.

And continue to DO IT NOW… remind yourself that –

Someday” isn’t a day of the week!

Make that ‘someday’, TODAY and let your courage listen to your heart and lead the way. 

 

Until next time,

P.

Are you are leader? WHy? You’re already a manager, if you’ve lived this far in your life already. Are you both a manager and a Leader? Because you’re Courageous and you let your courage, LEAD.

Standard
a better life, action, adaptation, awareness, balance, beauty, Beliefs, better choices, change management, chaos, choices, communication, compassion, consciousness, courage, decisions, Energy, examined life, game of life, gracefullness, gratitude, hope, Leader, leadership, life, listening, long-term perspective, long-term strategy, mind-muscle connection, patience, perseverance, perspective, responsibility, risk, self discipline, self improvement, significance, skills, strengths, success, taking action, Timing, trust, you, your life

Timing is everything in life

A butterfly 🦋 knows when to fly and when to sit and feed.
Timing is everything in their life.

The Gambler
I loved listening to Kenny Rogers with my grandfather as a kid.

I particularly loved his song – “The Gambler”, some of the words something like this –

“… He said, “If you’re gonna play the game, boy

You gotta learn to play it right

You’ve got to know when to hold ’em

Know when to fold ’em

Know when to walk away

And know when to run

You never count your money

When you’re sittin’ at the table

There’ll be time enough for countin’

When the dealin’s done…”

Powerful words. Have you heard it … almost everyone on this planet has heard it at least once in their lifetime.

A genuine classic. 

Powerful, not just for poker but for building quality muscles 💪, whilst staying injury – free and the game of life, too. From what I’ve observed, Many people fail to recognise just how important timing really is. Not just the type of timing we usually think of  – catching the stock market or real estate at precisely the right time or the pass or kick in a sport. Timing is critical in lifting heavy-assed weights in the gym, like I’ve done for almost 3 decades and not get injured.

Timing is everything.

Timing is also critical for your continuous inner calculations of knowing when to bet, when to stay Put, & when to fold or give something up entirely.

Timing is improved self-mastery

Timing is … also doing NOTHING 
There are times when the optimal action is to do NOTHING, be patient. Sometimes, it can be worthwhile in the long term to take a loss now, to fold. At other times, everything you touch & decision you make “turns to gold” or allows you to grow , to expand and progress.

How do you get the “timing” RIGHT?

Timing is everything in the sport of bodybuilding, for example. You can spend 4 to 5 months preparing for a contest. If you don’t understand your “body-mind connection” as well as you should, you could miss your “peak” by a day before or after or even an hour before or after. You could suffer from a bodybuilder’s worst nightmare – being told you’ve “spilled over”.

You basically got your nutrition timing wrong and you don’t look your BEST on stage when it mattered most. Timing is everything… it is the difference between making the Finals (Top 5) and not…. like I did at two consecutive World Natural Bodybuilding championships.

It can be the difference in having a child and not. The difference in getting and A and a C. The difference between mediocre and world-class.

intelligence is in plentiful supply but unfortunately, wisdom is in short-supply in our world.

 

Timing is everything in balance and creativity

What is needed is WISDOM 

In my experience and learning from other people’s experiences, I find that the worse thing to do is to be more “analytical “. You need to “QUIET” the mind… eradicate all the “noise” in your head. You need to UN-think and control your thinking.

What is needed is WISDOM.

And what is wisdom? It is knowing WHEN to do WHAT. Easier said than done.. look at the mess we humans have created in a areas of our lives and societies.

Wisdom is your ability to “be like water” as the philosopher- Bruce Lee said. You need to be hard and flexible at the right time.

Many people stubbornly hang on to their “habits”, some of which are not relevant now. They are simply unwilling to change. They have a “closed” mindset … believing change is impossible , saying –  “I’ve always done it that way “

Don’t short-change yourself. Love YOU, better.

Keep your pendulum swinging … because to be stuck at one end is not life-affirming.  Embrace the pendulum of life. 


UN-Busy your mind

My Tip: strive to QUIET your mind. UN-busy your mind. Allow your decision to “listen” to your heart
💖.

Apply WISDOM, understand the importance of timing in Making WISE decisions.

You Won’t regret it.

all the very best in your decisions ,

 

Popeye Pirate 🏴‍☠️ Paul … & the need for more wisdom in decision-making

A fridge magnet 🧲 I bought almost 20 years ago.
Practise this.

Standard