Why has society demonised anger? Why is it that we (especially Men) cannot and not encouraged to âget angry?â This is hammered into men right from when we are toddlers. Why? Why have we only focused on the destructive results of anger?
It is just as much a valid emotion as being happy, sad, excited, joyful etc.
Yes, thatâs right, he has been a great friend. Not a lovey-dovey friend, not a particularly nice friend, far from being a gentle friend. No, anger ⌠is a very, veery very LOYAL friend.
Anger has always been there with and FOR âmeâ. Anger loyalty reminds me with ease when i have betrayed myself enough. It is there to stop anyone or anything from taking advantage of me, beyond what is reasonable.
âReasonable â here would refer to my imaginary boundaries/tolerance limits of certain suffering.
To me, Anger is fuel. This is a KEY aspect of the power of a loyal friend.
Anger,
I love this quote. Increasing your awareness is parameters to having clarity and success in your life.
SEARCH. Become the BEST ‘searcher’ you can be.
One day .. you may find ALL the answers you’re seeking for YOUR questions to give ‘meaning’ to your life.
A wonderful book says –
“Seek and ye shall find;
Ask and ye shall receive.”
True.
This friend loves me.
This friend LOVES ME.
And, I have come to love this friend, all the way back to consciously recognising him when I was about 9 years old.
Yes, it is a form of power⌠a powerful energy. When we feel it, we almost always want yo do something about it – hit someone, throw something, break or smash something, punch a wall or spew out profanities to the person.
Why do we do everything to it ⌠except LISTEN to it. I mean, we are taught to ⌠deny it, bury it, hide it, lie about it, medicate it, ignore it or simply muffle it.
Why donât we just allow ourselves to feel and express it just like we do with other feelings?
Anger not only summons courage, but it points the finger and shows the way⌠an alternative way. To me, anger is a sign of health ⌠good đitality.
Unlike what most of modern societies espouse, I believe anger is a good thing. It means youâre alive. Anger is part of our inner voice ⌠it is meant to be listened to.
Not ignored.
As fuel, we can embrace the energy of anger to turbo-boost our actions to where our anger points us. Hereâs the catch that many struggle with – anger is meant to be ACTED UPON, not ACTED OUT.
Highly likely if youâre one of these, youâll certainly have a healthy relationship with your friend – Anger.
It awakens me.
Re-read that last sentence again. Let it sink in.
Every time I get angry, it reminds me that I am being courageous and expressing something that is pushing me towards my perceived boundaries. Should I tolerate it, extend the boundaries or ⌠resist.
It AWAKENS me.
It is a a tsunami o that annihilates and with that destruction, signals that death đ of our old life. Anger is the springboard that springs you into your new life.
To me, anger is envigorating. It helps INFUSE me with the âessence of lifeâ – đitality!
It is a tool, and like all tools, when used in the appropriate manner, allows you to CREATE something with it. It is not something to MASTER. Anger, instead should be something used as a resource .. to be tapped in to and drawn upon.
For example, I have used my loyal gym training partner & friend – âAngerâ to accomplish record-breaking lifts & intensity in my workouts . He has always been there. He helps me âclimb mountainsâ and achieve small goals in the gym. As a tool, I TRANSMUTE my loyal friend, Anger into the various mediums of Art that I express my love through.
Anger, my loyal friend, has also been the wind under my wings when I need to summon courage to fly.
I cannot live with my loyal friend.
I need him.
Every single day.
Anger, I pray đ that you visit me again. Soon. I need you to fill up my senses. As John Denver sings in his song âAnnieâ –
â
You fill up my senses,
Like a night in a forest;
Like mountains in springtime,
Like a walk in the rain;
You fill up my sensors,
Come fill me again;
Come let me love you,
Let me give my love to you;
Let me drown in your laughter,
Let me die in your arms;
Let me lay down beside you,
Let me always be with you;â
And you should, too.
Embrace your Anger. Make him your friend.
Dance with him. Get to know him again, if you have to.
Let him point and ⌠show you THE WAY.
Thank you
Until next time,
P.
Maybe all the answers to your questions lie within YOU.
Your mind, your consciousness.
Maybe, it is not about seeking answers but simply asking more questions. Maybe questions are asked simply for discussion and debate … to help fuel our capacity to RE-IMAGINE … a better future.
A future that is NOT based on the doors of the past…/ future based on alternate possibilities of the future.
A Future based on the future, not past.
With my gritty Viking Pirate đ´ââ ď¸ Intelligent, caring & compassionate daughter, Olivia. She has heard me say many stories ⌠over and over again.
There is PowerđĽ in Storytelling.
Iâve always loved storytelling.
I remember sitting with adults when I was a kid, Listening to their stories. They would say –
âPaul, why donât you go and play with your cousins & friends outsideâ
I would reply –
âNo, there will be time to play with them laterâ
Iâve listened to hundreds of other peopleâs stories when I owned & managed my Family Gym for 7 years.
I love đ telling stories.
I believe there is power in storytelling.
My wife and kids. I Storytell until they get fed up⌠then I know, they know.
It begins in the home.
It begins in the HomeâŚ. Practising the art of Storytelling, that is.
Home is where the foundation of storytelling starts. I recall listening to my dad & his close friendâs tell stories around the Kava bowl. In the home, I got a strong đŞ foundation⌠Of a past that lends my existence a place, a sense of belonging, a historical context.
Home is where stories get passed on for generations. I have continued with this đalentine tradition. My two kids can retell the stories I tell .. because they have heard them countless times. And as my daughter says –
âDad, it keeps changing all the timeâ
And I say –
âAaaahhh⌠yes, my dear ⌠that is where facts and imagination fuse in the optimum placeâ
Home is where I was told that I am built like & physically intelligent like my grandfather, Ben Valentine. A powerful & skilful National heavyweight boxing champion, going undefeated for 3 years in his prime.
Home is where I heard stories of my quirkiness from early age & my creative & innovative nature in my early youth. I heard stories of my country of birth through the filter of my own genealogy.
Struggles, family migrations, family triumphs, as well as ancestral successes & failures were taught to me through the history of my đalentine Family.
In my Home now, it is a place where I build my own legacy: through my love đ for history & storytelling, I have shared & will share more stories I was told in my youth with my children.
Always, adding my generationâs story to this đalentine Novel in progress. Iâve always believed the REAL histories of families arenât the records of births, deaths & marriages. No, to me âŚ
⌠they are the stories told after dinner, while having chocolate or dessert. So full and satisfied.
For i have learned many things so far, and one important one is the importance of LEGACY.
Legacy is fueled by US⌠in our family. It is fueled by ME. And all this evolves from our history⌠our family stories passed down âŚ
I tell my kids that one day they will bear the đalentine torch đŚ. They will continue to write their chapters if their lives through their storytelling.
Knowing that they have a very strong identity and they will continue to shine the torch đŚ and build on the legacy that they inheritedâŚ
Through the strong foundation of the đalentine Family history through storytelling.
I am still the current Torch Bearer of the đalentine Family and I make a toast to all future Torch Bearers of my family and all families âŚ
Carry the Torch with pride & Live & Die with dignity.
Western Medicine saves lives. However, I donât think you should dismiss alternative medicine . Intangible, immaterial treatments can have real physical benefits, especially, in the harnessing of the Power of the Mind. My Vitality Infusion Programs do just this: balancing the wholeness and interconnectedness of the mind-body-heart-spirit axis.
Is there anything we read, hear or see âthe truthâ anymore? THere are so many lies propagated in the media in todayâs world. There is one truth – if a lie is being told and repeated enough .. the lie will eventually be believed to be a truth.
What is the truth when it comes to the covid-19 virus? There are many questions that should be asked and no question should be left out and put in an âout-of-the-question â basket. With so much information at our fingertips, and most contradicting one another, one of our biggest risks is is our inability to sieve through the bullshit to âŚ. Find the Truth.
I just donât know what to believe anymore. One minute, one âexpertâ says one thing ⌠another minute, another expert says something else. Even the so-called experts and professional analysts cannot agree on the truth. They usually speak from their own self-interest and try to sell their âversion of the truthâ.
What have we learned in the aftermath of this pandemic?
A question I ask is – why has the containment of this virus đŚ done already ⌠like six months ago? Why has it taken so long?
Do you dance? Do you sing? Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moon-light? Teach yourself to love, YOU, better.
What have we learned in the aftermath of this pandemic?
What has each individual country learned and what have we learned as human beings? One obvious thing is that the biggest threat to our existence is not something huge like a war or terrorist acts⌠it is the very very small (viral or bacterial) that we should be more fearful of. We should be more scared of the INVISIBLES ⌠of what we CANNOT SEE with our naked eyes than ⌠what we CAN SEE.
If you look at probabilities, there is a high probability (greater than 90%) that the virus originated from the Wuhann Lab, in China. The likelihood that the virus originated from âa Labâ is high. Then, it follows that, the likelihood that it originated from the Wuhann Lab is very high.
A question we should be asking is – was there a prior epidemic of this virus ⌠that has allowed this current viral strain to be very effective in spreading? If it came from the Wuhann Lab, what were the protocols/internal controls used at the time? Why was this allowed to happen? On the other hand, if it wasnât the Wuhann lab, we should be told that it wasnât. If it was from nature, we deserve to be told. If it was from another lab, we need to know that , too. Why arenât the governments giving us answers to these questions?
In other fields, say, in manufacturing, if a machine worker narrowly misses death when using a Machine or only loses a limb or his/her life, most businesses would do everything possible to NOT LET that happen again. In a factory setting, they would put up clear signs, get employees further training, counselling, boundaries indicated, protective gear and so forthâŚ
And why? It was a âlucky break â and control measures put in to mitigate the worst situation (losing a life) does not happen again in the future.
Why werenât the voices that were raised in concern or this virus back in 2015 not listened to and taken seriously? What protocols were overlooked leading up to this pandemic? Why was the process off-shored to China? Did our current systems allow this? Who was responsible for this system at that time? Why hasnât people brought to justice yet? Who is responsible for this pandemic? Governments collectively?
What say âU?â
Is this going to be another case of INFLUENZA?
⌠and we will not find a cure and eliminate it but will just have to live with it.
Will it become part of our new ânormal â like the influenza virus has become? Living with the FLU virus has been a huge cost to governments and nations. Imagine the cost of living with the Covid forever? The cost to peopleâs well-being and the economy will be astronomicalâŚ& possibly incalculable.
** Hereâs the thing:the ABILITY to ELIMINATE the disease goes down the longer we delay to have EFFECTIVE RESPONSES⌠to take control of its spread. It will be too late when large numbers of people catch this disease and their mutations and selections will result in adaptations that we just could not possibly manage.
Then weâve got a HUGE PROBLEM!!
Medicine has come a long way. Yes, it has. The pertinent question is ⌠is this going to be another case of influenza? I feel it will be.
If you look back in history, you will find that hospitals were dangerous places in the 18th century. One eminent Victorian surgeon commented that –
âa patient laid on an operating table ⌠is exposed to more chances of death than the English soldier on the field of Waterloo.â
18th century medicine was not very effective. With all our advances in technology and medicine, can we say that 21st century medicine is âeffectiveâ in itâs management of covid?
In the 19th century, Mary Wortley Montagu went back home with the smallpox inoculation/vaccine from Turkey but had a difficult time finding Doctors who would share this with people, given many were not willing to destroy a significant stream of their revenue. Even if it was for the good of mankind. Doctors were looking out for their own self-interests.
After the French Revolution, patients with similar symptoms were grouped together in wards. Doctors started to recognise and treat illnesses as ENTITIES in themselves rather than regarding complaints as being inseparable from individuals.
Is this happening in todayâs world? Are beds and access to medical treatment going to be a âbidding war?â will the beds And medical professionals only be given to those with money as it was back in the 19th century?
Everything has a frequency, everything has a resonance. What is your resonance? What resonates with you?
Medicine ⌠using vocabulary of the Military.
Also, in the late 19th century, medicine started using the vocabulary of the military, referring to diseases and germs similar in concept to enemy invasion.
Words like breakthroughs, defeats, and destruction and âletâs fight thisâ. Nowadays, they use phrases like âweâre in this togetherâ. Like many other scientific metaphors used in the past, these images operated both ways:
Reflecting how illness was conceived
Affecting how foreigners should be treated
Back then, wealthy nations tried to defend themselves against infectious immigrants just as bodies had to be protected against viruses or microbes. This analogy was used. Question is – is it still being used today?
You see, diseases had usually been blamed on foreigners and this case of covid is no different. It also provides new grounds for rationally explaining old fears.
And what are these âold fears?â
Prejudices against race and cleanliness could now be given a âscientific labelâ. This was utilised by many wealthy nations back in history. Is it still being used now?
Is this one way of the government setting up a screening program to assess citizens health? Are our DNA (through swabs) just another way of science and governments finding out more about each individual? How can this be used against us?
Could the increased awareness through advertising, as âmedical security â really patchy vetting procedures ⌠say, to allow rich immigrants easier process into more wealthy nations? Is this simply a tool to help curb unwanted immigrants?
What do you think? Have those entrusted to lead – companies, multinationals, communities, countries âplanting treesâ and preparing for abnormalities in the future?
Governments have had a history of controlling diseases by curtailing individual freedom⌠which is the same objection given by anti-vaccination supporters.
In science, often what seems straightforward in the labs proves quite complex outside the labs.
Over a century ago, Robert Koch, the German bacteriologist, shot to fame for identifying the organism responsible for Industrial Europeâs biggest killer – tuberculosis (TB).
Even though Koch proved that nobody could catch TB without first, being exposed to the TB, he was unable to explain why only about 10 % of people became infected. What sort of rates exist for the covid? Apart from age, are certain races more at risk?
During Kochâs time, it was found that the âCure rateâ for TB, proved lower than had been hoped. The enemy agent (similar to the covid strain identified today), had been identified but it seemed to leave many potential victims unscathed. Back then, many concluded that many individuals were somehow tainted in advance or had pre-existing conditions that made them more susceptible to getting covid.
Over one hundred years later, society has learned to âlive with the disease â – TB, that is. TB was, only recently, given an identity as a contagious disease that circulates in squalid city slums. A mark of inferiority rather than aesthetic vulnerability.
At one time, to contract TB, was to invite scorn⌠it was a matter of shame⌠making it out to be that patients had been picked out rather than innocent victims of neural microbes.
TB was as bad a stigma as contracting syphilis, blamed on prostitutes. Society attitudes stayed this way until towards the end of the 20 th century. Cancer became the new TBâŚ. The big C that could not be mentioned by name.
Given how long it has been for us to respond to the covid strain and managing it, it is highly likely that, we wonât find a cure ⌠but instead, just learn to live with disease, like we did with TB, over the last one hundred years.
Believe or not believe.
Get your ass off the pole of the fence (stop sitting on the fence!)
Choose.
A lot of deaths.
A quick reference on Google on world-stats indicates that as of 9th July 2021, there were a little over 4,000,000 covid-related deaths, with the USA heading the tally with > 623,000, followed closely behind by Brazil at 530,000 and then India at > 400,00 and so on. Australia has just under 1,000 deaths. So, there has been over 4 million deaths in just over a year since it began.
A lot of deaths.
In 1999, the American Institute of Medicine published a landmark investigation called âTo Err is Humanâ. It reported that between 44,000 and 98,000 Americans die each year as a result of preventable medical errors.
Lucian Leape, a Harvard professor put it higher (at 120,000 in America alone) estimated that a million patients are injured by errors during hospital treatment.
In 2013, a study done & published in the journal of patient safety put the number of premature deaths associated with âpreventable harm â at more than 400,000 per year (in America, alone). Compare this to the number of deaths caused attributed to Covid and it is comparable. But, no one is alarmed at this knowledge because not much is said about it and so not much is known about it, by the majority of people.
Preventable harm included –
misdiagnosis
Dispensing wrong drugs
Injuring patient during surgery
Operating on the wrong part of the body
Improper transfusions
Falls
Burns
Postoperative complications
Peter J. Pronovost, professor at Johns Hopkins school of medicine testified at senate pointing out that the deaths was equivalent of two jumbo jets falling out of the sky every day for an entire year! Comparing and saying –
âEvery two months, 9-11 is occurring.â
Can you imagine, news headlines repeating information of deaths caused by the crashing of two jumbo jets EVERY DAY! It would cause utter chaos .. that could lead to an up-rising. Possibly. The public has lost a lot of trust in the medical systems and are turning to alternative medicines in droves. Question is why has it got to this point?
Why do we tolerate these numbers âŚ. These stats in preventable harm in this area of life when we would not tolerate it in any other sector? We donât tolerate the covid-related death toll numbers, so, why has the medical profession knowingly or unknowingly, hid this information from the public ⌠year after year?
Upon further study, you will find that the numbers put preventable error in hospitals as the biggest killer in the United States – behind only heart disease and cancer. Can you imagine that?! Third highest!!
And these are just numbers for the USA, what about when we add all the other numbers from other countries? What sort of numbers would that total to? Highly likely be greater than the 4,000,000 reported deaths relating to covid.
This Affects ALL OF US.
But those numbers are incomplete and definitely higher now.
However, it is not just the number of deaths that should alarm us, there is also the non-lethal harm caused by preventable error. Back in that 2013 study, this equated to about 1000 preventable deaths AND 10,000 preventable serious complications per day âŚ
The problem is not a small group of crazy, homicidal incompetent doctors going around causing havoc. Medical errors follow a normal, bell-shaped distribution.
They occur most often not when clinicians get bored or lazy or malign, but when they are going about their business with diligence and concern ⌠but these mistakes STILL happen!
Imagine the flow-on negative effect it had on the patient, their family and friends, their community and wider.
Being wise is the the power of discernment. Improve this
The Biggest Risk right now, as I see itâŚ
Strong Social connections allow for a better and longer life. There are decades of evidence from communities suffering the reverse phenomenon: the gradual loss of social ties.
A study by James House, published in the journal SCIENCE concluded that social isolation is as dangerous for health as obesityâs, inactivity and smoking. The evidence was as strong as in the landmark US government report that in 1964 officially linking smoking with lung cancer.
The House report says that social isolation is actually more dangerous than lack of exercise and obesity. This is the biggest risk right now, as I see it ⌠in most western societies- deaths exacerbated by social isolation due to covid restrictions.
This is probably the single most powerful behavioural finding in the world.
Social isolation is indeed a death sentence!, I believe, as much a threat to iur survival as hunger, thirst or pain. If individuals are deprived or it – âhuman contactâ (as imposed by covid restrictions), the extreme case is we can start to become attached to innanjmate objects. This is demonstrated by Tom Hankâs character on the movie CASTAWAY, who has a meaningful relationship with a volleyball he calls Wilson.
Will this pandemic lead to increased purchases or innanimate objects for companionship? More sales for the IT industry?
Lesson: this AFFECTS ALL of us.
Why do so many mistakes still happen?
Well, I will leave that for a future blog.
So many questions still left unanswered, about our past ⌠our present âŚ. And our future.
But, as they say âŚ. That is JUST LIFE.
You can choose to enjoy your âone lifeâ and worry about what YOU CAN CONTROL ⌠and NOT WORRY about what YOU CANNOT CONTROL.
May God continue to shower his blessing on you and your family and loved ones,
Guilt. Repent from your heart. Your soul. Find your authentic self again.
Repentance.
Do you practise repentance? Why? Why not?
When youâve done something wrong and/or have wronged someone, you firstly need to take FULL responsibility for it.
You Repent.
You repent because you realise that, that inexcusable wrong can be judged or forgiven. Inexcusable wrongs can never be understood and overlooked. Fake Repentant people seek and beg for forgiveness, with no thought of deserving it.
Yes, you read that right, they donât deserve it.
That is not fair – to the person that has been wronged and not fair for the person who has wronged.
To gain trust back, perpetrators need to own their âinconvenient truthâ (to borrow a phrase from US Vice President Al Gore).
Truly Repentant people are people who finally understand Godâs amazing grace. When you truly seek repentance, know you need only to confess to experience the forgiveness from God Almighty.
Forgiveness is ALWAYS there in infinite supply.
My family. My dog: “Mr Fuzzy/Fussy cuddles” is missing
Selfish Choices.
Recently, I got into a very big argument with my wife of twenty years. It was probably the biggest blue weâve had in our time together. It involved her and my family. To get straight to the point, I was an Asshole ⌠well, okay, I was a HUUGGE Asshole! I even called myself one during the fight.
Alcohol was involved. Correction: excessive alcohol was involved.
On reflection, it is quite obvious that I was being a selfish prick! Yep, you read that right. I was being a thoughtless spouse. And here I was imagining that on my deathbed, my children and wife will remember me for many things but for mostly being the most THOUGHTFUL human being they have ever known.
After this incident, that dream/imagination may not manifest into reality. I fucked up, and my selfish choice was not âthoughtful â. I simply fucked up!
You see, whether we are adulterers or thoughtless spouses (like me, in this instance), the problem with all of us is one of perspective. Instead of thinking of our thoughtlessness (in words or actions/deeds) as INEXCUSABLE SELFISH CHOICES, we stubbornly regard our interpersonal failures as UNDERSTANDABLE MISTAKES. Understandable mistakes, can you believe that?! It comes down to a small but significant factor of perspective, or the way we view something.
And in my recent case: I clearly made a selfish choice and my perspective was NOT the right one.
To find your Authentic self, you need to embrace your demons
Seek to understand first.
Iâm not one for giving excuses or listening to excuses, but during and after that big argument, I found myself giving excuses. It just rolled out of my tongue and the strange thing was that I was fully aware of this roll-out while it was happening. And hereâs the catch: I did not stop this conveyor belt of excuses.
When I reflect, I realise that excuse-making has been a part of almost every area of life that has humans participating. Excuse-making has been a natural tendency in people since, I guess, Adam blamed Even for eating the apple and ⌠Eve blamed the Snake for persuading her. Itâs been around for a long while.
I guess, without some form of self-justification, we are forced to look at ourselves in the mirror, just as we truly are ⌠not necessarily, the image the mirror reflects.
Now, based on how I argued in that fight, the standards I adhered to fell very short of Godâs standards. My actions and words deserved punishment.
I read somewhere that a wise person seeks to understand before wanting to be understood.
That is something I need to improve in my life. What about yours?
What does your mirror reflect of you? What if it reflected who you really are? What would it reflect? What feedback would your emotional and logical minds give you? Would they reinforce each other? Would this spark Fears and would those fears escalate? How would you control them? Tip: take responsibility.
Joy evolves from misery.
When we really look at ourselves in the mirror and truly see ourselves as we are, would we accept our status as sinners.
And what are sinners? Sinners, like me, are worthy of judgement. We are powerless to improve ourselves ⌠and are humbled that our best deeds provide no defence.
That is how Joy evolves from misery. Throughout my experience and learning from other peopleâs experiences, Iâve learned that those who make themselves naked and vulnerable and basically more human, are the ones who get the most trust.
Or at least, get part of or most of the lost trust back.
It is through the process of embracing genuine nakedness, humility and vulnerability, that you find your AUTHENTIC SELF.
I believe, moving closer to your authentic self is not only where life BEGINS but also âŚ. Where JOY blooms and your GROWTH CONTINUES.
Now, as a Physique Artist, I regularly strip down to a pair of “g-strings” on stage, under very strong lights to display the âflow of musclesâ ⌠and âpaint a picture of moving artâ, using my sculpted physique, from my heart ⌠to the hearts of the audience.
It is one of the closest you can get to being naked, humble and vulnerable. By being vulnerable, humble and exposed, I find you allow yourself to be more open and transparent. This is important for any relationship. For me and my wife, this is vital. Always has been.
I am an âopen bookâ and this nakedness, this humility, this vulnerableness, demonstrates to her that that I have nothing to hide ( or an impression anyway).
Now, allow yourself to strip yourself of EGO and wear your âG-STRING of YOUR SOULâ. That takes COURAGE. Seek Courage⌠for without courage, no great achievement is every attainable.
For me, in all my most important relationships, Trust is vital. It is one of the key foundation stones of my 21 year relationship with the most important woman in the world to me- my wife.
I believe Trust is Powerful; it always has been.
ALL the very best to you
Yours in iron, muscles and mind,
Cheers & ahoy from beautiful Sydney, Australia!
Me in my g-strings during Competition in bodybuilding/physique artistry. âBack Double Biceps” in the heat of competition! Change from the gym to the stage is quite significant with management of key variables being extremely important. Placing: 2nd in AustraliaI love this quote. Increasing your awareness is parameters to having clarity and success in your life.
SEARCH. Become the BEST ‘searcher’ you can be.
One day .. you may find ALL the answers you’re seeking for YOUR questions to give ‘meaning’ to your life.
A wonderful book says –
“Seek and ye shall find;
Ask and ye shall receive.”
True.
Did you have a father that invested a great deal of time and energy in to your life? Or was he in the shadows … or almost never around.
In my 7 years of owning and managing my Family Gym, I came to really know men from all backgrounds and status in society. My gym membership was about 70% male.
Over time, I came to notice correlations and strong causation between their behaviour as grown men and their relationship with their dads in their childhood. It didnât matter which race, culture or status, there were some strong connections.
Can you see âmeâ in my son? Can you see you in your son?
Happy Men & Not-so-happy Men.
Do you consider yourself a âHappy Man?â
Who are the happiest Men in society? Not by any kind of horizontal segmentation but as a species – âmaleâ.
I think there are Happy Men and the not-so-happy men in our modern-day societies.
Experience has indicated that the men who are the happiest and most content in the masculine role today are those whose fathers put in the time and effort in their upbringing. And continue to do so.
Iâll refer to them as the âHappy Dadsâ in society.
These Happy Dads had dads who were around to begin with. Dads that were committed to maintaining a positive, nurturing, encouraging relationship with their sons. These Fathers of Happy Dads provided that secure foundation and supported their sons in their ups and downs.
The sons (Happy Dads) had support from their Fathers with their careers and decisions they made and acknowledged their achievements.
These Happy Dads had dads that were just âthere for themâ. No excuses, full-stop!
Time spent with your young man is NEVER bad use of your time.
RETURN ON INVESTMENT (ROI)
That consistent loving time spent with their sons (not âquality ââtime), paid off … in time. These Fatherâs sons, who the the Happy Dads of today are, I believe, among the most well-adjusted and peaceful husbands and fathers in our modern-day societies.
Are they increasing? Are they easily recognised?
Does he look like you? Your friend, maybe?
Like Father-like-son. I think I am a Happy Man… mostly. Are you?
MINORITY RULE.
I believe these well-adjusted and peaceful husbands and fathers is and has been on the decline. They could be safely said to be in the âminority â.
Normally, I would say that in a democratic society, the majority should rule. In this instance, I believe that this minority should rule … these men should be the norm and not rare and abnormal.
We need these types of men … Happy Dads … to flourish again and increase.
What do we do? How do we go about this?
I believe it is up to me, you and … all the current dads/fathers reading this and out there with young sons… to commit to these young impressionable souls.
The majority of men today are struggling to recover from relationships with fathers who failed to nurture, affirm and validate them at some level … or all levels.
These sons (who are now fathers/dads/husbands themselves), are left with a legacy of pain, confusion, frustration, anxiety, bitterness, fear & anger. A lot of these men never had a choice in having their father in their lives as the mothers decided to bring them up as single parent.
I believe a big percentage of These adult sons are the angry men of our societies.
We need to stop rearing angry men.
If youâre part of the minority that is, the Happy Men, congratulations đ! Go and give your old man a hug and tell him you love him…. and just give him thanks for being there for you through your tumultuous years of youth.
You probably already do … and have.
Thatâs what Happy Men do.
Cheerio for now, Until next time …
Learning and absorbing our habits every single day of their initial phase of their lives is what our young Princes do. Teach them well. My gritty Warrior Viking Pirate đ´ââ ď¸ prince đ¤´
I AM. I an Entrepreneur of IMAGINATION. Through Mastery of Self, I am able to be an Agent of Creative Destruction to allow the release of new ideas … new thinking … and a new Meaning. Meaning is the NEW MONEY.
Building a Physique of high quality dense muscle that is balanced & symmetrical on a human being takes an high understanding of striking a balance between control and creativity.
Successful Businesses now and in near future need leaders who understand HOW to strike a balance between control and creativity in organisations…
.. if they are to survive and thrive. Business Leaders need to think like Physique Artists ... like designers.
âBusinesspeople donât need to understand designers better. They need to be designers.â
– ROGER MARTIN, dean, Rottman School of Management
Hereâs how the principles of physique artistry can be used in the Corporate World.
Believe. Embrace Creative Destruction. You never know what youâll discover.
What it takes.
My sport found me at 19.
It was and is the hardest sport an individual can participate in. The sport name is : bodybuilding. The great Arnold Schwarzenegger is the most famous bodybuilding champion and has done and still contributes to the wellness & fitness industry.
I like to refer to it as : Physique Artistry.
To master the âArtâ you need to master – YOU.
It is the fusion of science đ§Ź/engineering and art(design/creativity).
I got to the Top of my sport. Representing Australia to two consecutive world đ NATURAL bodybuilding championships in New York, USA.
It was a 10 year goal (To stand on the world stage against the best in the world). I developed and managed the best execution of a 10 year plan. I achieved (& exceeded) the goal in that time by making the Finals (Top 5) in both championships.
It took /takes a lot to build muscle.
It took much much more knowledge to Sculpt a âphysique â. One that leans towards â better balance & symmetry â. Consistency, focus, persistence and belief got tested in the journey towards my best. It took learning toâlistenâ to the myriad of feedback signals the human body and mind Gives you, positive or negative feedback. Being âin-tuneâ with yourself is key đ to success in this sport.
Sticking to the plan and making changes based on feedback signals âď¸ I have (the mirror, the scale, energy levels …) where and when necessary to changing circumstances was part and parcel of the journey. It was science 𧏠& art constantly fused together. It is one of the reasons I love the art/science of physique artistry – it feeds in to my thirst for learning.
I know âwhat it takes.â A big part of this is the âconnection â I have with me … and my enhanced listening /detective abilities of the myriads of feedback my body gives me.
One of my Top 3 Physique Artists of all time. Balanced & symmetrical ==> beauty. And when you CREATE your beauty my friend is … When you discover your TRUTH.
Tomorrowâs Organisations need to create a culture that supports feedback and embrace creativity and “Imagine BETTER”.
In creating a physique that is worthy to represent your country against the best in the world, you need a very good understanding of balancing Control and creativity.
As a physique artist I am constantly tearing down the old me … designing the new me, from within… I have to continue to let my imagination and heart lead me. I am constantly trying to IMAGINE BETTER.
That is what business leaders of tomorrow need to be: Entrepreneurs of Imagination. By testing and exceeding our own personal limits, can societyâs horizons be expanded and enriched. That is the way all civilisations innovated .
As Fredrich Nietzsche (1844 – 1900) said –
â whoever must be a creator always annihilatesâ
As a Champion Physique Artist I need to not only continually monitor what can be controlled in the âmicro-environment â but also the macro-environment. All this is balanced with the creativity and freedom needed to âpush-boundaries â in training and nutrition.
Excelling in physique artistry requires you to continuously assess actions and evaluate feedback from your body. You need to embrace feedback, whether it is negative or positive and constantly ‘tweak’ existing or create new processesses to and environment that is very dynamic and rapidly changing.
And what is ‘creativity?”. The artist, Rassouli said –
“Creativity is the manifestation of the playful spirit of a creator having fun.”
As a Physique Artist, I see the whole body as one but I see it as having many moving parts. An important task I have to do is ensure that all the parts ‘flow together’ and are in ‘harmony’ in an ever-changing environment. Depending on feedback received and assessed, I will be able to have the courage to try new things or ‘new ways’ and still achieve the desired results or better. and ‘getting it rightâ.
In organisations, there are lot of different parts/divisions and they need to all work together, in relative harmony and effective communication in these relationships, between these divisions is the key.
All good and effective feedback has a strong đŞ foundation of strong đŞ relationships. Feedback should come from someone the recipient respects and has built a good relationship with.
In my experience, for feedback to be most effective, however, it helps that the parties involved need to see the persons as âpeopleâ first and foremost instead of titles & roles. This allows people to let their guard down and feel comfortable to take risks and fail. It is the ‘fear of failure’ that stalls new ways of thinking about doing things and this is emphasised by some organisations in bad performance reviews.
Freedom to be vulnerable is a contributor to creative thinking. This freedom is not encouraged by many organisations. Those that do encourage this freedom and build processes and systems that encourage and foster creative-thinking idea formulation will increase their chances of remaining competitive in fast-changing, increasingly uncertain world we live in.
Just like I have done for many many years as a physique artist and an entrepreneur.
These are Key ingredients for successful creative thinking & innovative behaviour.
Keep your dreams alive . Snd if youâre going to dream … Dream BIG. You serve no one by being and thinking small. Think BIG!
Get your hands dirty, to find the diamond.
A key part of effective organisations is having well-oiled processes that are aligned with the overall mission of the organisation (make profit, increase market share etc). This is the same for building a Physique that is beautiful, that is, ‘flows’ with balance and symmetry. A physique that exudes great design.
There are many Systems for feedback that I use with physique artistry. One of my key systems, I call it the â3-step to showing my diamondđ to the worldâ:
mining â– how I manage (mix n match all the variables – how much cardio, how long, what type? Best food combos ? ). Organisations need a process of how employees are to voice grievance with others . Maybe write down âwhyâ. Hereâs where you âget your hands dirty â.
2. Re-fining : making sure that I make the right substitutions at the right time (from the larger goal … to monthly and weekly and daily goals). This is where the bulk of my time is Spent – in the beginning when working through the process of setting goals.
Organisations need to separate the âfactsââfrom emotions and âhe saysâ – âshe saysâ. Leaders and participants in this âfeedback â process, needs to Spend time here. Refining.
3. Defining: once my goals (micro & macro employees should have the ability to re-write what they wrote initially after learning about all the other information in the two stages. This is a stage of reflection. How can you do or say things better?
Processes of feedback could be done this way, for example.
In their book, “Thanks for the Feedback”, Douglas Stone & Sheila Heen stressed that feedback is about the quality of relationship, as I mentioned earlier –
“Feedback isn’t about the quality of the advice or the accuracy of the assessments. It’s about the quality of the relationships, your willingness to show that you don’t have it all figured out, and to bring your whole self – flaws, uncertainties, and all – into the relationship.”
It is the formula I use to project manage my building of muscle & the design & creativity I apply. I need to keep introducing these principles to encourage muscle growth and burn fat.
I love this quote. Increasing your awareness is parameters to having clarity and success in your life. SEARCH. Become the BEST ‘searcher’ you can be. One day .. you may find ALL the answers you’re seeking for YOUR questions to give ‘meaning’ to your life. A wonderful book says – “Seek and ye shall find; Ask and ye shall receive.” True.
Feedback: Food for Champions. Organisations to allow âfeedbackâ to be seen as âOpportunities to learnâ.
That is exactly the approach I take when listening to the various feedback loops my body gives me – the micro and the macro: I always see it as an opportunity to learn.
I see all feedback as âfood for champions â.
Personally, Iâve Always had a âfeedback – seeking behaviour. I subsequently found out that it is a self-regulatory trait in learning & orientation. Probably explain why Iâve always believed in learning from someone who âhas skin in the gameâ in every key area in life.
To me, it is part of a âChampion mindset â. Being eternally curious like me, demonstrates an awareness of feeling psychologically safe enough to proactively seek out feedback with the intention for self-improvement.
Organisations and its leaders need to emphasise a âlearning environment â instead of one based on fear. Evolving a “Culture of Learning’ is key to success and emphasising the importance of having a ‘growth mind-set’. Having a growth mind-set is part-and-parcel of being a great Physique Artist.
But, bear in mind there are no perfect learning people, even if you have a close-to-perfect feedback system like the human body.
To dig deep, you have to dig deep. To find âYOU â, you need to Mine … for your diamond đ…Re-fine YOU… and then Define … your BEST YOU.
Feedback is essential to enhancing effectiveness and creativity but the feedback process needs good design.
There are no perfect feedback systems. All business people need to be good designers.
Most adults are wired to fear failure. Itâs drummed into people by our archaic outdated education systems.
Organisations suffer because staff are afraid to take risks as there isnât an environment that encourages this. In physique artistry, itâs important to feel the freedom to take âcalculated risksâ on key aspects that will have a dramatic effect on your final outcome.
just like I need to create the right environment, an environment that encourages an anabolic response from muscles đŞ, an organisation needs to create a culture where failing is not the focus.
Businesses will need leadership has the ability and fortitude to experiment with novel combinations. This inspiration-centred approach will inevitably have many mistakes but the journey from innovation to commodity is so swift that individuals and organisations must be relentless if they are to remain competitive.
For a organisation, The question is what should you do with the failure? What can we learn from it? A great physique artist learns to have a strong đŞ âconnection â with his self … it is a strong relationship, one based on experimentation, process and reflection and assessment (using the mirror is a key component – the mirror does not lie).
As Trevor Baylis, INVENTOR said –
âThe key to success is to risk thinking unconventional thoughts. Convention is the enemy of progress. As long as youâve got slightly more perception than the average wrapped loaf, your could invent something.â
That is, what organisations need to do through the feedback process : to focus on the human connection… the relationship and building that âemotional labourâ. Developing and going through the process of reflection and âlooking in the mirror â and actually asking the RIGHT questions:
why do they do the things the say they do?
Is there a better way?
What are their intrinsic values ?
Are these values tied to their purpose
How are they giving value to their loca & global communities.
Most Innovation and inventions and breakthroughs come from reassembling existing ideas in new, creative ways.
I love Trees. Be like a Tree. Let go of old ways of doing things … like trees let go of their leaves … each season to allow for new fresh ones (ideas) to evolve.
Neurons that wire together, fire đĽ together!!
The leaders of tomorrowâs successful organisations need to create and maintain an environment that fosters support for risk-taking and creativity.
This will lead to innovation.
The organisation needs to encourage vulnerable behaviour, openness…. this evolves from More trust, more care and more patience. And this should come from the top and filter down through all the levels of the organisation.
The culture is to be fuelled by a change of thinking … a re-wiring of the brainđ§ to create a way of thinking that does not fear failure. And not just with words or âwindow-dressing â. It should be authentic.
The environment should be one that fosters âChampion Feelings and Champion Thinking. An organisation that focuses on feedback being a learning experience and opportunity, like a good physique artist does with his self.
Lesrning to have Champion Feelings and Champion thinking is Something that all employees can learn to be better at. This is encouraged with feedback processes that is there to enhance learning. Organisations where employees are allowed to be themselves and be comfortable being vulnerable.
Build your bridge from where you are to … where you desire to be. A lot of times, it pays to get help from an experienced builder… who âwalks the walkâ ..& not all âjust talkâ
Mr Vulnerable, where are you … come out, come out … wherever you are!
In much of todayâs modern society, allowing oneself to be vulnerable is not something that is encouraged. There are âpockets of this kind of behaviour â here and there, but on the whole, It is frowned upon.
Men should never show weakness and vulnerability. It requires a lot of courage from employees (especially men). What is needed is undying support from leaders of the organisation.
As we know, learning can be painful (and i have learned many painful lessons lifting weights in the gym). The key thing is to allow yourself to learn to be better at âbeing comfortable being uncomfortable â.
Learning, like muscle growth, needs stimulation and involveschange snd adaptation. It is the process of adaptation that new muscle grows (.new exercise techniques to maximise growth). In businesses, change and adaptation happens when it wrestles with new ways of doing things and continually asking questions.
Questions that forces them to question the way they do things, Even what they think is âwhatâs bestâ or âcorrect â.
Hereâs something I learned along the way to the Top of my sport of Physique Artistry:
“You have to be willing to be wrong! That is what leaders of tomorrowâs organisations should be focused on to foster environments that encourages more creativity.” And why is Creativity important? If you’re not exercising creativity, you may as well be dead.
“To cease to think creatively is only slightly different from ceasing to live.” (Benjamin Franklin)
Less fear, happier employees, more creativity. Better productivity? Better profits? Is there a strong correlation, at least?
I know there is.
But, here is the thing: you don’t have to believe me. Matter of fact, you don’t and should not believe anybody- professional or not. Don’t even seek their opinion, forecast or recommendation. Just ask them to show you what they have or don’t have (in their trophy cabinet) or portfolio.
And what do I have in my cabinet? Iâve got – not one, but two world championships Trophies đ & medals đ . I have been a business advisor to many businesses for about 10 years, as a former Accountant.
I have designed and I have run (& still) several successful businesses in my portfolio.
So… here is my question to you: HOW CAN I HELP YOU … help you, BETTER.
Cheers
Quality lean muscle that âflowsâ takes time & a goal of balance & symmetry
The old Captain Viking Pirate đ´ââ ď¸ âď¸Enjoying a beer đş in a hot 𼾠spring day here in Sydney Australia đŚđş
On the other end of the spectrum.
In a past phase of life, I was a Business Advisor and Corporate Consultant to a number of multinationals. I specialised in âcleaning up other peopleâs messesâ and correcting accounting treatment errors and assessing Risks for companies. I enjoyed the relationship management side of things.
In one particular consulting firm, I went to one of the Firmâs many corporate functions. It was the usual shit, people talking about trivial unimportant things like the weather. In this particular function, one of my colleagues on a similar seniority level to me approached me and said –
âPaul, I can tell you donât want to be here. Iâm the spectrum of connections, everyone here would be on one end … the âsuperficial end, and you, my friend… youâre all the way on the other end of the spectrum.â
I said –
âyouâre right. Iâm leaving. Goodbye.â
I took my tie off and left the function.
I resigned from that role, not too long after that. … buying a gym and operating other businesses of interest.
Friends that workout together … stay together? Some of the family of gym members that called my gym ….. our gym .. their gym. Lovely people in a lovely phase of life.
Old-school Gym with a modern twist.
In one phase of my life, I owned & managed Australiaâs Longest-running Gym at that time. I poured my heart & soul into it… I ran it like a Family.
The gym was old-school traditional with a lot of history. For example, the great 7 x Mr Olympia Arnold Schwarzenegger trained in this gym when he was Mr O (the @mrolympiallc was held in Sydney, Australia in 1980, which he won, after a 5 year lay-off). He even took a few famous photos in this gym, of him, going through some of his poses.
Frank Zane, arguably one of the most aesthetically built physique artists during his prime worked out here. He won the âsuper bowl of bodybuilding â – the Mr Olympia Title three years in a row (1977 – 1979). He had visited that place and a few other greats, too. The Dumbells we used and many of the machines were the same ones we used back in the 70s. We used the weight-training equipment that Champions used.
But, my gym was not about the equipment and the fancy lights, it was about the people. People passed 15 other gyms because they wanted to be part of this special gym. They wanted to be part of my extended family. I was very proud of the culture I created, of the love that we all shared.
I liked to say that it was an âold school gym, with a modern-twist â … and I was the modern-twist.
They knew that I CARED. And gave them the results/needs they were looking for.
My grandfather used to always tell me when I was a kid –
âNobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care.â
Very true indeed.
That challenging, yet beautiful phase of my life came to an end 6 years ago, when I sold it.
My Family of friends in my gym I owned and managed for 7 years. All working towards being the ‘best the can be’
A few things to be aware of when choosing a gym.
A few notes on gyms –
If youâre a beginner (in weight training), look for a good gym. A gym that caters to your needs. There are many types of gyms today – big, small, studios and out-door gyms. It depends on your preference. Before choosing a gym, evaluate things like – cleanliness & hygiene; whether they have lockers or not (most modern gyms do); the condition of equipment – you donât want holes in upholstery and they should be well-maintained; the Equipment Manufacturer (some manufacturers are better quality than others; $$ (your budget) – if youâre looking for just weights & cardio then you donât need to pay extra; the friendliness & authenticity of owner – Do they have âskin in the game?â
Now, why should you take advice about gyms from someone like me. Well, itâs simple: I have and have had âskin in the gameâ and still do. I have walked the walk before I can talk the talkâ. You should always apply this approach with anyone offering you advice in any field, especially if they call themselves an “Expert”. I’m sure you do.
Gym Extended Family Members enjoying a day of Lawn Bowls. We had some great lawn bowls events over the 7 years.
Winning this award in 2008 for the BEST GYM in the Northern Beaches of Sydney was the best award I have ever received (better than my 2 x World Championship trophies) It was an award judged and voted on by the residents of the Northern Beaches on the BEST GYM & related Services in the Health & Fitness category
My gritty Viking Pirate Prince – Zachary, is never too far from me. My role as his dad and father in shaping him in to the Man I imagine him to be be is the most important project I will ever undertake. The same applies to my daughter.
A Few Good Men
I loved the Rob Reiner directed movie – “A Few Good Men”, released in 1992. It starred some of Hollywood’s A-Listers like – Tom Cruise, Jack Nicholson, Kevin Bacon, Cuba Gooding Junior, Demi Moore and so forth. Daniel Kaffee (Tom Cruise), a US military lawyer, defends two US marines charged with murdering a fellow marine at the Guantanamo Bay Naval Base in Cuba. The needle of suspicion, thus, points to a colonel (Jack Nicholson).
Throughout history, long before the marines or SAS or FBI or special forces ⌠God had always been looking for a Few Good Men:
âFor the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to himâ (2 Chronicles 16:9a).
âI looked for a man among them who would build up the wall and stand before me in the gapâ (Ezekiel 22:30a).
God, give us Men. Real Men.
God give us Noahs: Someone to whom you can trust your mighty plans;
God give us Abrahams: Men who are willing to leave home and homeland to follow your call;
God give us Josephs: Men who would rather endure prison than violate one of your commands;
God give us Moseses: Men who are willing to stand as your mouthpiece against the most powerful leaders in all the world;
God give us Daniels: Men who would rather face a lionsâ den than compromise their faith;
Learning and absorbing our habits every single day of their initial phase of their lives is what our young Princes do. Teach them well.
Who are the Real Men?
Have you seen them around?
Letâs name a few that have come forward and âspoke outâ and been chastised and ridiculed and effectively âtried by mediaâ before even having a fair trial. To me, they are Men who stand up for what it right … who stand up against Injustice in any shape or form. They are men who stand their ground, even if it means they stand alone. It is for unselfish and most loving men.
Here are a few Men that could be modern-day Noahs, Abrahams, Josephs, Moseses and Daniels: Colin Kapernick; Israel Folau; Quaid Cooper; Russell Brand; Jordan Peterson; Mike Tyson; Mohammad Ali; Malcolm X; Martin Luther King; William Wallace; Luke Sky Walker; Han Solo; The Lord of the Rings; Aragorn; Frodo; Marty McFly from Back to the Future; Bruce Wayne.
Can you name some?
Time spent with your young man is NEVER bad use of your time.
Boys To Men
Do you remember that smooth Men Group called âBoyz 2 Menâ that was around in the 90s? I loved a few of their songs, they were very talented singers.
There name gives us a clue to what God gives us. He does not give us Men, he gives us boys âŚ. sons.
The reality is that God DOES NOT give us men â he gives us boys.
To us, as parents, he gives us the task of forging these boys into men.
To help equip us for that task, God has provided the book of Proverbs, which is largely the advice of a father to his son âŚ
Father’s Day is just around the corner for us here in Australia. I look forward to it every year for many reasons. One is seeing the creativity my children demonstrate on that day. I having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude that I have children and have the opportunity to play my role as their dad/father and love them unconditionally.
As a parent, are you taking that thought seriously?
We love muscle and design. We love muscle cars. Here we are at a Car Show in Sydney, Australia. Just love seeing, smelling and feeling the energy that is transmuted by beauty.
I love McDonaldâs. … and I maintain a â6-packâ eating it. The 2nd part of that first sentence is UN-true.
obviously. But, sometimes the obvious things in life are also hard to see, pay attention to.
One of the things I love about it is itâs familiarity. There are no surprises. When I ask for a Big Mac Meal, I know Iâll get what I expect. No surprises. It is consistently the same everywhere I go and any time I get it.Â
Itâs like family and marriage. Life can be like McDonaldâs a lot of times. But it is that familiarity that can be a blessing and a curse.Â
In marriage, the task of communication faces a big challenge: familiarity. For many people, the self they show to the world is far different to that shown to the family, to those who know them best – their family. They perform for the world – for their bosses, their friends, their work colleagues, their sponsors, their church and sports and social groups but at home – they simply donât.Â
And why?Â
Well, I believe, sometimes many do not perform for home because of the âcurse of familiarityâ. For many, that familiarity erodes their energy, saps their strength and cuts off their compassion, which incidentally is – all key ingredients to good listening.Â
About to start a workout in my Old School Gym. Old School training principles with a ‘modern twist’. Know the basics. Stick to the basics. Apply the basics. Its the most efficient, effective and safe approach to building a muscular physique in the gym. An authentic physique artist spends a lot of time alone … with his art, working on the guy in the mirror. Not out of vanity but .. because the mirror is one of the most honest feedback tools one could ever have. Muscle building allows you to appreciate patience & dedication and the importance of the âlittle thingsâ in their overall impact on your health, fitness and art. The importance doing things ârightâ ALL the time … not some of the time. Just like in all relationships you love the most – it requires all these traits and above all – respect, trust, care â compassion.
When the phone rings
Have you listened to the tone of voice you hear people use when they answer the phone when the phone rings? A lot of times the tone of voice is quite different to the tone of voice they use when it is a close friend, family member or loved one.Â
Ideally, homes offer a shelter from the storms of life… I try to give that for my kids. However, when we grow empathetic within our safe place, the familiarity that was meant to help and nurture, can end up hurting. I have witnessed it through helping thousands of individuals and families over the years.
Good listening skills require that you give loved ones in the home the same attention you would with those outside of the home and not pay attention simply because itâs âjust my husbandâ talking.
A ‘coaching conversation’ with Brad, while taking a rest break between exercise sets. Helping Brad, help himself, achieve something he cares about and become more of who he wants to be. I love having coaching conversations with people who aspire for something different… with people who want to grow by Being helped to recognise the strength from WITHIN themselves. As a coach, one of my key strengths is the ability to LISTEN to not only what is said … but what is not said. That is a big part of my >84% of clients achieving or bettering their original goals in their programs with me.
The art of listening and respect begins in the home.
If people are to survive this era in which families are ripped apart almost as fast as they are made, people need to make more effort in paying more attention to the loved ones in the home. People need to resist the temptation to âtune outâ at home.Â
I believe, people need to open their ears and hearts more – they need to listen more intently with their ears, hearts, body and soul ⌠to the voices inside the walls of their homes.
It may sound easy but believe me, it isnât. In a lot of cases, the âeasiestâ things to do are also the hardest things to do.
In general, I believe family members need to open their ears better – try to listen to the voices inside the walls of their homes. While good communication alone cannot cure a bad marriage, it can make a big difference. Many relationships end because of the reason – âbreak-down in communicationâ. I believe, people are communicating but the majority are not communicating EFFECTIVELY.Â
The âbreak-downâ is usually the result of ineffective communication. The art of listening and respect begins in the home.
Explaining the fine points of re-engineering the physique and increased self-awareness through enhanced ‘mind-muscle’ connection.. building Quality lean muscle within a structure that is âbalanced & symmetricalâ takes time – vision, Unwavering belief, Ability, stick-ability, character, love, care and …. constant monitoring /listening to all the âfeedback loopsâ of the body and its environment. Very similar to managing key relationships in your life. âListening And communicating EFFECTIVELY is one of the keys.
Love well, those you love most
Love is many things to different people. I believe that love begins in the home .. the safety of the family. If weâre to love well, those we love most, we must all learn to Listen. Like I tell my son âŚ.. To not only âlistenâ but to listen âbetterâ.Â
For this to happen, each spouse should strive to learn to really hear what their spouses are saying and also what they are not saying ⌠through effective communication, more families will remain together as they combat the curse of familiarity.Â
And make familiarity âŚÂ
A Blessing.
For those of you that are married – what benefits and pitfalls come with familiarity of having been married for years?Â
How can you improve your communication radar when it comes to listening to your spouse?
Until next time,
Cheers & ahoy!
Popeye Pirate đ´ââ ď¸Â Paul … & listening EFFECTIVELY at home
Overcoming many small hurdles on your way to achieving your ultimate goal is encouraging. Progress, any form of progress is a motivating factor. So, don’t strive for perfection, instead seek progress … towards your ideal SELF. Here you have retired Rugby Union legend & former Australian Wallabies Captain – Phil Waugh still embracing knowledge to better himself. Vv
Successful achievement of goals require excellence in listening – for the coach and the pupil.
Changing lives. Empowering people. One life at a time. 
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