a better life, action, adaptation, awareness, balance, beauty, care empathy, caring, choices, compassion, Energy, eternity, examined life, game of life, Goals, hope, life, long-term perspective, love, muscle building, muscles, perspective, responsibility, self, self improvement, self love, strengths, symmetry, trust, you, your life

Care/Neglectful & how it relates to Building bigger muscles & relationships

Balance & symmetry brings you closer to harmony … closer to infinity


Balance & symmetry 

Here’s how weight training for muscles 💪 with balance @ symmetry as a goal can be likened to a solid caring relationship.

When you train with care, your sets are sound (theoretically, principally & logically), unambiguous & smooth.

I have always believed that the care you take with what you do (in & out of the gym) is a virtue of every great Bodybuilding champion & leader. This also applies to anyone who is passionate about something or someone. 

Do everything with care. Don’t hurt others & most importantly, don’t hurt YOU

Purpose ambiguous or uncertain 

In contrast, neglectful training is carelessly made: your sets are awkwardly executed; your choice of exercise is dodgy & your number of repetitions of each set is awry; your logic faulty or difficult to understand; your purpose ambiguous or uncertain.

This leads to countless unnecessary premature injuries. And in the relationship side, people get hurt and you get hurt too by saying and doing things with less care and compassion that they needed. 

I say, “unnecessary” because I have stayed INJURY-FREE since I began training with heavy weights in the gym.

“How?! You may wonder. Well, it is not because of ignorance. No, there are many key factors .. one is simply learning from all the greats that have come before me … learning from other people’s experiences and being humble enough to be more coachable.

The latter (neglectful training) is what I observe with the majority of trainees in the gym.

Learn to be a better builder.. to build your bridge from where you are to where you desire to be. It can only be done with care, trust & compassion. Three things that this world needs more of

That kind of care

The moral: take THAT kind of care, even though you’ll think you don’t have to (especially if you want that relationship with that special someone to last). And if you’re not handicapped, take extra care.

I’ve always believed that everyone should keep these two primary goals in mind when trying to build good quality muscles 💪

  1. control
  2. Feel

It takes courage 

It takes courage to be patient, to forego instant gratification for long-term benefit. It takes courage to do the Right Thing. It takes courage to do what the majority are not doing. It takes courage to Lead.

As a mentor told me –

You cannot be truthful if you are not courageous. You cannot be loving if you are not courageous. You cannot be trusting if you are not courageous. You cannot inquire into reality if you are not courageous. Hence courage comes first and everything else follows.”

Our ability to string a few sets of exercises together without difficulty may blind you to the many other ways of stringing them together …

BETTER.

Your relationships you value most can be better . You deserve better.

Try the “care philosophy “ next time If you’re not already doing it.

Get in touch with me in 3 months and let me know how it went for you.

Thank you

yours in iron, mind and muscles 💪,

Paul e 💝alentine

A mentor told me once – “no one cares how much you know until they know how much you care.
Me & Glenn. One ☝️ or the hundreds of members of my Family Gym I once owned & managed for 7 years. They came (& drove past up to 15 other gyms in some cases…  because I cared. I gave them “results with care” (my slogan)

Quality lean muscle that “flows” takes time & a goal of balance & symmetry

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a better life, adaptation, attitude, authenticness, awareness, balance, beauty, better choices, butt, change management, choices, communication, consciousness, decisions, Energy, examined life, game of life, Goals, good posture, grace, gratitude, happiness, Imagination, long-term perspective, love, patience, perseverance, perspective, real man, relationships, responsibility, self love, self-respect, Team work, trust, Vitality, your life

Are you a “Butt” Man?

Find your inner-peace but don’t wait too long … or until you’re a skeleton

Forgotten Muscles

Just to let you know, first up … I am a Butt Man and also a Boobs Man too, in case you’re interpreting the subject heading from ‘that’ perspective. However, I am writing about a more important issue for Men, like you and others out there … which if, unattended to, can lead to some rather unwanted health issues down the track. Let me elaborate …

You see, I’ve always loved observing people, from when I was a kid. I love observing humans in all walks of life, doing all kinds of activities and apart from a growing problem of very bad posture, many people are losing their bums.

It has become, I believe, the forgotten muscles.

People, especially men over 40 are experiencing an ever-disappearing behind or as the French term calls it – derrie’re. Matter of fact, I believe people have weaker posterior chain muscles in general. What are the ‘posterior chain’ muscles?

They are basically, the muscles that behind you, from your head to your heels – everything connecting your joints together.

Men are at risk of leaving their behinds, behind. They’re losing their butts!

Many men past 40 don’t know this but if they looked at themselves in the mirror lately, it is plain to see that the body profile has changed, and not for the better. Where has this very important muscle group disappeared to? The bum is made up of the gluteus muscles  – the muscular masses posterior to the pelvis formed by the three gluteal muscles (glutes): gluteus maximus, gluteus medius, and gluteus minimus. These muscles are in each cheek.

It seems that these amazingly strong muscles have disappeared and replaced with fat. Very sad, indeed or the part that was once the butt has moved to the gut or belly for some but for many, the arse has just vanished. Does this happen for all men? Certainly not but I believe it is happening more frequently to men that have a desk-job, sitting for hours on end every day, hunched over their keyboard looking at computer screens with very bad posture.

Stand up from where you are and go look at your glutes/bum in the mirror. Feel them, tense those muscles, do they feel strong? Can you see them when you turn to your side. If you can’t, you got to do something about them ass cheeks.

Only if you’re an Butt-Man, like I am.

Progress shots of the ‘back double biceps’ pose prior to contest. Working your ‘back/posterior” muscles is key. It is a life-saving activity you can do for no one else but YOU.

Only one half

In my observations of Boyz to Men in the gym over the last 30 years, I can comfortably say that the upper body is the half of the body that they like to train. It’s as if the bottom half, the ‘other half’ does not exist. They look in the mirror and their eyes don’t seem to look at what’s below the waist, just like seeing only the ‘tip of the ice-berg’ when you see an ice-berg in the ocean.

Most men tend to put unwanted fat deposits in certain areas as they age. This is in the form of visceral fat around the mid-section and neck and chest area (“bitch tits”) and the butt or arse area. In this social media era, many men are trying to lose weight, fast and some are going about it the right way – building muscle with resistance training and combining this with balanced nutrition and cardiovascular exercises.

Problems in the arse tend to arise when they lose muscle in the bum/arse as they lose fat in that area too. Even those men who go to the gym regularly can lose bum muscle or glute muscle too. The latter is rather sad because of the rather foolish approach many men carry out their training.

The culprit: these men only focus weight training on their upper body, only seeing one half of the body. The other half (the lower half) does not exist to them. The loss of muscle in the arse/glute area is due to these men conveniently embrace dementia-related symptoms with regards to the existence of the bum.

To them, the arse does not exist.

Work your back muscles .. you may just build a cape as wide as Batman’s

Maximus and minimus is very strong

As mentioned earlier, the gluteal muscle group is made up of three gluteal muscles in each ass cheek forming a powerful muscular girdle that keeps the pelvis stable and moves the body forward. It is arguably the strongest muscle group in the body.

The glute muscles are not specifically activated and utilised by walking or running and exercises like planks and crunches don’t help either. The maximus and minimus is very strong and are engaged with exercises such as squats, lunges, hip extensions and bridging.

Single leg squats or leg presses and walking sideways helps but unless you’re a crab, it is quite pointless.

Abdominals & Thighs … for the audience. What you should work at is the back/posterior muscles which includes the butt

Exercises to boost your arse/butt size

One day in the past, sometime in the 7 year period I owned and ran my Family Boutique Gym, one of the male members yelled out from the other side of the gym saying –

“Paul, you’ve got the biggest arse I have ever seen on a man!” and joked –

“Paul and his bus” (meaning my backside).

To maintain and even build the buttock muscles, certain exercises must be technically correct. You must have patience and allow yourself to be coachable. You should focus on the functional value of performing these exercise for your overall health and strength benefit.

The aesthetic benefits should be a side-benefit not the main motivating factor (even though there are faster options available from cosmetic surgeons who suck fat out of the belly and re-inject it in to the buttocks – yuck!).

Forget that shit, speak to your Ass-Cheeks and work it like a Real Man+ by doing exercises with weights in the gym that builds these muscles up – squats, deadlifts and leg presses.

My Family of friends in my gym I owned and managed for 7 years.
All working towards being the ‘best the can be’

Emerging trend for Men

According to the American Society for Asesthetic Plastic Surgey, getting ‘butt surgery’ is an emerging trend for men. Really?! Apparently, men account for almost 10 percent of cosmetic buttocks procedures. Twenty years ago this figure was less than 2 percent.

There’s also a cheaper option available – buying padded bottom-enhancing underpants or trunks that provide a lift, like Calvin Klein’s “Body Boost Butt Trunk”, that has hidden support straps to boost the rear profile. So, men can have the appearance of a powerful behind, without doing the hard work to earn it and not having to pay thousands of dollars for surgery.

Never thought Men, Real Men … would stoop this low. But, it happens and is happening more frequently.

work your ‘back muscles’

A strong butt is a strong back and good posture

As you now know the glutes are vital to your movement and has certain sexual and aesthetic appeal. However, you may not know that these same muscles are crucial in protecting the back and lower limb joints from injury. They hold the pelvis steady and keep them aligned with the legs and the torso.

If the butt muscles aren’t strong enough they won’t do their job properly – to maintain erect posture for the upper torso and so the lower back muscles have to do extra work and this leads to chronic back pain which a lot of office workers suffer from.

This could also lead to hamstring problems as they have to work harder and overcompensate. Problems can and will also travel downwards to the knees and ankles. So, as you can see, apart from the aesthetic of a big strong butt, their role in having a strong back and good posture is key.

Back double biceps.
I had this pose covered … from top to bottom.
I won this division in the NSW Titles back in 2007.
work your ‘butt. work your back/posterior muscles

Credit Card Test

Here’s what I’d recommend to you if you feel you’ve been suffering from gluteal amnesia, go the gym and start doing the exercises that target the buttocks, namely – squats, leg presses and deadlifts. But, you’ve got to learn to improve your ‘mind-muscle’ connection and focus on squeezing your glutes at the top of the movement. Always be in control and feel the muscle.

The glutes have become the forgotten muscles because most strength-training routines do not isolate these key muscles.

Here’s a little strength test for the largest of these muscles – the gluteus maximus that you could do in the comfort and privacy of your home or office. Take out one of your credit cards from your wallet and place in between your butt cheeks. Comfortable? No, it isn’t but that is not the point.

Now, squeeze those ass cheeks tight, holding the card in place and then run across the room. If those glutes cannot hold the card in place, then, Huston, we’ve got a problem … a butt problem!

Honesty test: so, how did you go? Is the card still there in your butt?

A friend of mine getting a sun tan on my favourite beach here in Sydney, Australia.
A hot day it was. …

Don’t worry, be happy

I love that reggae song called “Don’t worry, be happy” that came out in the late 80s if I recall correctly. It is not the end of the world, if your credit card was left behind on the floor as you ran to the other side of the room.

If you have a butt problem, believe me, you’re not alone in this world. I believe most people, particularly, most Men actually have butt problems. You need to get them working well again and you can and … you will.

My son Zachary and I at a family member’s wedding. A lovely day.

Here’s my tip: get your lazy ass off the gym, ask for a more conventional assessment by a suitably experienced and qualified personal trainer and get cracking on your butt investment. Don’t worry, you’re not the only one who is lazy … humans generally are … we all, are, me included.

After all, aren’t you an butt/ Ass-Man?

I know I AM!

Cheers & Ahoy!

The old Cap’n Viking Pirate Evangelist Muscled Monk … & being an Ass-Man and loving it!

Leadership ability begins in the home … children learn character building in the home
Be the best character you can be … for YOU, first .. and then for your kids
my two children a number of years ago

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accountability, awareness, balance, Energy, justice

Justice

Was crucifying Jesus Christ ‘Justice’ at that time?

Crucifying Jesus Christ … was Justice?

What is your definition of “Justice?”

When do you see it? What do you read that justifies the ‘justice’ that you perceive it to be? What about when you hear about it, are you convinced?

I think Justice is like a snake that has many skins or rather, Justice wears many styles of clothing, that springs forth in different circumstances. Robin Hood understood this and so did Raylen Givvens of the current TV series I am watching at the moment called “Justified”. The Latter is about an State Deputy Marshall with a 20th Century sense of Justice in modern-day policing. I see Timothy Olyphant who plays the US Deputy Marshall as a modern-day Clint Eastwood, fighting crime with ‘old-school’ methods and sense of justice.

Do you have certainty of your definition of Justice? Isn’t it the case that when you think you’ve figured it out, that there is always another definition, another side of the coin? Our concept of Justice today is a far cry from what society considered in the Eighteenth Century or back in the Tenth Century.

Heck, let’s go all the way back to Biblical times and assess whether crucifying Jesus Christ, God‘s only son – is appropriate Justice.

Yes, it is Justifiable but is it justice?

One way to know YOU is to understand God.
God is in you.
God is you.

Giving everyone what they need …. 

The sub-title of this paragraph (above) seems right and proper doesn’t it? But we’ve also heard the other definition –

giving everyone what they deserve” .

This also makes sense, doesn’t it? In the first definition, those in NEED are the first priority but in the second, those who work the hardest and best take the lead.

The question is – is there a possible third definition of justice, one where it is proven that giving someone (or a group) a bit more than everyone else, benefits everyone. Like for example, giving resources to the handicapped helps them to contribute to society or giving great leaders of countries, industries and societies a bigger carrot may benefit all of us.

Is that justice?

The “Factory Model” – the system created hundreds of years ago seducing the majority to fit in, follow instructions, and exchange a day’s work for a day’s pay. That was the deal our parents and grandparents signed us up for and our schools and our systems and our governments supported the deal.

But, is that system fair and more importantly, is that old system still relevant? In many countries, job growth is flat at best and wages in many industries are negative. The middle-class is at siege like never before, and the future appears dismal.

Is there justice when the educated, hard-working masses are still doing what they’re told, but they’re no longer getting what they deserve?

Find your light and colours. Be authentic, be YOU.
Have FAITH that being naked & vulnerable will get you closer to happiness.
If religion comprises rules you follow, FAITH is demonstrated by the actions you take.
Of course it is difficult. Be the Leader that you are. In your life.
but more importantly …
be the light for someone who sees only darkness.

Don’t count on the Markets for Justice

Is there Justice in the Market Place? With service and the drive to sell at the lowest price?

Markets, as they say, will tell you the price of anything …. And the value of nothing. I don’t think you can count on the markets for justice, that’s for sure. I mean are you one of the lucky people who actually paid ‘what they are really worth?” If you are, congratulations.

They say the market will tell us what the going rate is for any service? We could trust that ‘market’, couldn’t we? Does the market really measure what is deserved? It is one of the definitions of justice, isn’t it?

But, what’s the one thing we know about markets? For those of you that have done Economics 101, you will recall that all markets are temporary and ALL a quirky or imperfect.

So, what do we do then? How do we find that Justice?

What Justice would a Pirate dish out? Is it fair justice at that time? What about Robin Hood’s sense of justice, was it justified?

What is “Fair Pay?”

What is a fair day’s pay … what is fair pay? What is fair play?

Is it fair that someone gets paid twenty, thirty … hey, a hundred times more than another?

“yes,” I hear some of you say … “if he produces twenty, thirty … a hundred times as much.”

“No,” say some .. “because nobody needs twenty, thirty … hundred times as much as another.”

Another group would then say –

“Yes, if that is what other people like him/her, in the same job are getting.

I can see these three sides of the coin and totally understand each viewpoint. Is there a forth consideration? It seems that the phrase – “Fair’s Fair” begs an awful lot of questions.

One such questions is that we cannot leave it (idea of Justice) to the market.

Fair enough?

There is a Hulk in each and every one of us ….. this greater uncertainty in the world, in the ‘age of disruption’ we are living in … there is always opportunities (like all good Pirates and Vikings know and understand).
I believe there is an opportunity to actually enjoy what you do and to make a difference to your business friends and colleagues and your customers like never before.
I believe, allowing the “Hulk” in you to Un-Lock the genius within you and have been hiding all these years.
There is an opportunity to show “YOU” to the world.
What are you waiting for ?

But, the Fortune 500 companies will save us

Will they?

Well, they have taken care of many industries and it’s obedient workers for a long time now, but I’m afraid, not any more. Times are changing and many companies are failing miserably to ADAPT.

In the Age of Disruption the ONLY viable strategy is to ADAPT. (Always consider the importance of “feedback” … and most importantly, doing something about it).

Research shows that most employees today will have longer work spans than their organisation’s expected lifespan (Innosight 2016). S&P 500 company lifespan has decreased by 40 per cent since the 1980s. At the forecasted churn rate, only half of the current S&P 500 organisations will exist in the next 10 years.

This is due to rapidly changing environments, where classical or analytical approaches to management are increasingly inefficient, whereby global organisations are like slow, lumbering dinosaurs. Instead they should be employing a more agile and effective adaptive strategy to survive.

So, is this justice?

The bigger you grow, the faster you fall ( to the applause of smaller competitors?)

In the ‘age of disruption’ (which we are in now), the only viable strategy (for the individual, businesses and nations) is to ADAPT.
We must constantly adopt an “Adaptive Strategy” and improve our “Agility Ability” … just like nature has for 4 billion years now … to ultimately, survive

Where to from here?

Where to from here?

One thing is certain – our ‘sense’ of what justice is now will be very different to what it will be one hundred years from now.

I hope, that people, organisations, communities and nations of the world have leaders that inspire hope by empowering it’s people, through clear and concise messages.

Justice, like, Great Leadership … needs to be clear, concise and consistent … and have enormous agility ability or in other words – great propensity to adapt.

To increase adaptiveness, whether as a person, a business, a community, a country … you don’t need to make drastic changes. Start small, making small changes … and ‘failing forward’. Continously monitor feedback loops and mutate quickly when appropriate.

Simply stated by the great Charles Darwin –

“It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the ones most responsive to change.”

Very good advice indeed.

All the very best in your application of your ‘sense’ of justice in your life,

 

Cheers & Ahoy!

The Old Cap’n Viking Pirate Evangelist Muscled Monk

 

Is there a happy ending for all – us individuals, businesses, countries .. and the world?
I don’t know … but I sure hope so

 

 

 

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Become a most UN-Common Man

UN-Common to communicate (non-verbally) to an audience and try to connect and Move them

Whom do YOU “see?”

When you look in the mirror, whom do you see? Do you see someone you’d like to know? Do you see someone your parents wanted you to be? Do you see someone your church ministers, Someone your teachers, your boss, your husband or your wife or your friends wanted you to be?

What about YOU …. when YOU look in the mirror, whom do you see, do you ever see anyone that YOU wanted to be?

What do YOU see in the mirror?

Is there something more?

Like many Men have done before us, is this all there is to “Life?”

Do we just go to work, hoping and striving so hard to build our “empire” … for ourselves, for our wives (or husbands) and our children, our legacy?

Like Roman Legions have … from dust to dust?

If you’re anything like me and (I guess, the Common Man), have you ever wondered – “is there something more to life or is this it?  Do we work as hard as we can to build our empires for your wives (or vice versa) & … to give our children more than we’ve had before?

One of my many quirks – my Old Captain Viking Pirate persona
Is there MORE to life? What does the conscious brain do that the Unconscious cannot?

As Good as IT Gets

Is this it … go to work, earn the bread, watch Tv & look at screens, go to bed …. Is this as good as it gets?

Sunrise, sunset…& before we know it we’re ready to “kick the bucket?”

Life, they say, is no dress rehearsal, and even if you’re the most giving person in the world, there still is no martyres “Hall of Fame”.

Each of us has this ONE CHANCE every single day … to view each day as our Super Bowl!

Play each day like it is.

Be YOU, no one else but the UN-Common Man.
Even if it means, you’re a little weird.

New Year’s Resolutions

Time waits for no one, as we’ve been told as we count down to the New Year.

Many of you will be embarking on 2020 New Year’s Resolutions and …. Many of you will realistically fail within the first two weeks (based on studies done on New Year’s Habits)

Human’s views of the nature of time has changed over the years. It was only up until the beginning of the last century that people believed in absolute time, that is, that all good clocks would agree on the time interval between two events.

There is “an arrow of time” and as time became ‘personal’, time was then viewed relative to the observer who measured it. Then, there is “imaginary time” (one of my favourite views), espoused in quantum mechanics. Here, Imaginary Time does not have one defined arrow of time.

Imaginary time is indistinguishable from directions in space, whereby, if one could go forward in imaginary time, one could turn around and go backwards.

However, when we look at “Real Time”, there’s a big difference between the forward and backward directions, as we all know. Today is the last day of 2019 (New Year’s Eve) and the questions I ask relating to time, are –

  • Where does this difference between yesterday and today and tomorrow – the past and the future, come from?
  • Why do we remember the past and not the future?

The laws of science, funnily enough, DO NOT distinguish between the past and the future and the past is different to the present and the future partly because of the relationship with entropy (ageing for instance) or disorder with time (a good example of the arrow of time).

It doesn’t matter how you view time, understand that having a keen awareness of the value of time is vital to living a good and successful life. Time, once spent, is gone from our lives forever.

Also, understand that Life is fundamentally about “Energy Management”, not “Time Management.”

Stop. Take stock. Be like water. Adapt to the different states of life … and mind.

Traits of the UN-Common Man

I love the pre-fix: “Un.”

I use it a lot with my kids. When they say something, I add “un” and tease them with the opposite. For example, they tell me that “I’m wrong” … and I say, “you mean – UN-right?” They hate it.

But, you’ve got to learn to love the “Un” pre-fix when it comes to you being the best YOU can be, to be the UN-Common Man.

The UN-Common Man understands the mortality of their bodies and are able to age gracefully. They tend their “gardens’ (their bodies & mind) like sensitive horticulturalists instead of one-shot profit planters.

The Un-Common Man does not accept death as the final gun in the game of life.

The Un-Common Man does not fear death.

Every habit takes time to lose and adopt. My studies in Neuroscience shows that it can take between 21 days and 275 days to break or adopt an old/new habit, respectively.

So, don’t rush it and expect change over-night, that is unrealistic. Believe me, I know, because a big part of what I have done to help The thousands of people, help themselves, achieve something they care about was through Change of Habits.

Try adopting these new little habits of the traits of the Un-Common Man, as part of your New Year’s Resolution to learn to become the most Un-Common Man you know –

  • Takes the time to LOOK – really look … at flowers and the beauty in the every day
  • Takes the time to LISTEN – really listen … knowing that he may not be able to listen one day
  • Takes the time to PLAY – really play … knowing that he will only be able to play with his children for a short time
  • Takes the time for OLD PEOPLE … knowing that they appreciate time better than most

A man needs to allow himself to be coachable to help him, help himself navigate the challenges he faces in the Sea of Life.
To find his/her path in life

Your Greatest Coach

YOU need to get that person you see in the mirror to develop the winning habit – of having Champion Thoughts.

BEGIN with the right thoughts, & then … continue loving each day , as if it were your last…not to let yesterday or tomorrow, use up today;

NOW is the key word …

To Plan it NOW… to want it NOW, to Dream it NOW, to DO it NOW. ….

& have a vivid image of the person you’d like TO BE.

Allow yourself to be your Greatest Coach & fan …and …To love  Yourself and most importantly, GIVE all the love You CAN TODAY

Try that

And become the most UNCOMMON Man. … you can be. You will thank yourself one day and possibly thank me, too.

Have a great New Year’s Eve and all the very best to you and the fulfilment of your dreams in the next decade

Thank you for reading

 

Cheers & ahoy!

The old captain Viking Pirate ‍☠️ ⚔️Evangelist muscled monk …& becoming the most UNCOMMON Man

Achieving a well-balanced physique should be understood for what it is: a masterful fusion of art and science.
One should improve once’s “BODY Smart”knowledge. this takes time and deliberate practise.
Top 5 in the world, two years in a row at a sport I love ain’t too shaby for an city boy from the beautiful paradise islands of Fiji
If YOU think you can and you BELIEVE YOU CAN … YOU CAN.

Never give up.
I took me 10 years to reach the top of my chosen sport in the world.
Never give up

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Exercise builds your brain power

The Brain 🧠.
The mind.
I AM.
Use this most complex tool ever created to become a better medium of communication to …. the universe, to infinite intelligence … to consciousness.
Listen to and change your body to listen to and change your brain towards balance & symmetry. A key to happiness.

To learn is to Grow

Given the fact that the body and the brain are intricately connected, why not take good care of both, I say.

I have seen amazing changes in a person’s mental health over the almost thirty years in and around gyms that I have helped people, help themselves, infuse themselves with Vitality – the ‘essence of life .

The positive changes that they have been made to their bodies, within a strategy tailor-designed for each individual, adopting my unique framework to body/mind re-engineering. As the muscles grow and the bodyfat disappears and the body shape changes towards more balance and symmetry, you see a definite change in mind-set.

A big part of the transformation process is increasing the awareness – internally and externally of the willing participant. He or she is being operated on, on the body which in effect, operates on the brain and mind, continuously ‘listening to the body’ and learning more and more about the body.

Know you.

To learn is to grow.

We do this by using the tools in my lab (the gym) – such as resistance training/weights; cardio machines and nutrition changes have caused positive, noticeable changes in their mind-set and mental health.

So, get educated (either on your own or find a suitably qualified and experienced exercise specialist/trainer) and go have your workouts… and build muscle. Your quality of life depends on this.

Champions practise a lot of visualisation and simulation.
To create magic, you need to fuse the worlds of sanity (where you are) with insanity (where you dream/imagine you are, before you are).
That is difficult.
That is one of the key keys.
Don’t stop. Trying. Believing.
Keep on … keeping on. You’ll get there. Everyone always does.
Especially, if you do it with your heart. and ….
with LOVE.

Multiple feedback loops

So, exercise and train with weights and manipulate your nutrition and continuously ‘listen’ and take notice of the multiple feedback loops your body is communicating back to you. Then, assess and respond with sufficient and appropriate actions in a timely basis. Most importantly, you have to adapt as your body (and mind) adapts and changes.

Become the best Change Agent you can be.

Learning to “listen to my body” and use the “instinctive approach “ to SMARTER training allowed me to get down to 4.2% body fat and retain maximum muscle mass – NATURALLY. Ok, I did use black coffee ☕️ (not a band ‘ illegal substance).

i became a master at reading my body’s multiple feedback loops. Essentially, understanding “me” better.

So, that should be one of your goals too – understand YOU better.

What science now knows is that the brain is flexible or plastic – more like play-doh than plasticine. Remember this: it is an adaptable organ that can be molded by input in much the same way as muscle can be sculpted by lifting barbells and dumbells.

Basically, the more you use it, the stronger and more flexible it becomes.

True?
Neuroscience is still at the level of where medicine was in the 1700s
A long way to fully understand who we are….
Who “I AM.

It’s all about communication

Everything you do and think and feel is governed by how your brain cells, your neurons, connect to one another.

You see, your brain is constantly being re-wired and it’s all about communication and how effective and efficient the communication channels are and the key messengers in all this communication are neurotransmitters that transport chemically and electrically, hormones that controls everything you do.

Exercise is the best drug you can give yourself – your body, mind and spirit. A good workout or a good run fuels your body like a drug like Prozac or Ritalin can boost you and your moods.

This is because exercise, like drugs, lifts these neurotransmitters.

Responsible for transmission of critical electrical, chemical & hormonal messages -internal communication

Balance is Key – a balanced brain is a healthy brain and a healthy brain is a happy brain

Exercise, in particular, weight-training, BALANCES these neurotransmitters that can easily lose balance and tilt your moods one way or the other. Balance is key – Neurotransmitters like serotonin, dopamine and norephinepherine, which if unbalanced over time under unbalanced conditions, causes all kinds of problems.

All kinds of physical problems but also contribute to different levels of anxiety, depression and is even linked to dementia and parkinsons.

Life Tip 101(c) : Keeping your brain in balance can literally change your life, because amongst other things, a balanced brain is a healthy brain and a healthy brain is a happy brain.

Lift weights and exercise to help you, help yourself, create more balance and symmetry in your physique and what you see in the mirror looking back at you. And you need to strive for balance and symmetry in your workouts when you’re in the gym. Your body is the physical manifestation of the extent of balance happening within –

Balancing your neurotransmitters puts you more in control of your body, mind and spirt and move you more towards happiness

… to ultimately,

balance YOU!

… and balance

Your life.

Collage of some bodybuilding poses

Remember: More balance => (leads to) more happiness.

More balance and symmetry in body-shape and physique also brings your more closer to our search for beauty, for truth. We all love to appreciate beauty but not everyone can CREATE beauty. I have found that this is a beautiful way to create your BEAUTY, through balance and symmetry – WITHIN, using weights and feedback from the mirror.

Ultimately, I believe (as I have witnessed in all I have helped in over thirty years of transforming peoples’ bodies), Balance and symmetry (beauty) INTERNALLY leads to balance and symmetry EXTERNALLY – a more balanced life.

This also allows you to discover your truth.

A more happy life, because of a more balanced and more happier brain.

All the very best in your daily choices.

Your destiny hinges on the little things your do every day (there is power in habit) and all these actions depend on the desire (heart) to do so.

Choose well,

Cheers & ahoy!

The old Cap’n Viking Pirate … & training your body/heart  … to train and balance your mind.

Your body is the physical manifestation of your mind.
Your brain is the ‘google map’ of your body.
Your brain and body is intricately connected – via electrical and chemical signals called neurotransmitters, striving to create balance WITHIN.
As we don’t have the capability of operating on our brain physically at the moment, the next best way to do so is (indirectly), by operating on your body.
You do this by changing your inputs and providing training, nutrition and rest stimulus.
And strive for ‘balance & symmetry’ in physique, which creates balance & symmetry in the brain.
Balanced and symmetrical brain = happy brain = happy life.
Your beauty.

Achieving a well-balanced physique should be understood for what it is: a masterful fusion of art and science.
One should improve once’s “BODY Smart”knowledge. this takes time and deliberate practise.
Top 5 in the world, two years in a row at a sport I love ain’t too shaby for an city boy from the beautiful paradise islands of Fiji
If YOU think you can and you BELIEVE YOU CAN … YOU CAN.

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The Golden Moment

I. AM.
GOD?

Where the land meets the sea

Letʼs imagine.

Letʼs imagine that youʼre walking and you got to the end of your walk because you got to the end of your land – and youʼre at a cliff … a place where the land meets the sea. Letʼs say youʼre looking down and you think … what if?

What are you thinking at that point? Should you stay on land or should you swim? Question is – do you love being wet or dry or do you like both (like me)? The other question is one of love or hate. Do you love your life or do you hate it?

Do you know what love is? Do you love, love?

Well, if you really understand what love is then you’re way ahead of the pack. Love is too large, too deep to be truly understood or measured or limited within a framework of words.

In a very real sense, to examine love is a futile attempt to examine the unexaminable; to know the unknowable. But that is ok, we will try anyway.

The Bible gives a pretty good definition of what love isn’t and the great thinker and poet – Kahlil Gibran wrote about it. Many have attempted to but no one has, to my knowledge arrived at a truly satisfactory definition of love.

Here’s one definition of love, that I love –

“the will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth.”              – M Scott Peck

Is there a thing called ‘the Golden Moment?

If there isnʼt, well, there should be. We have a “Golden Ratio” popularized by a mathematician called Fibonac .. something.

But, what if there was a Golden Moment, what would your “G”-moment look like? What would you do if your G-moment was at that cliff? Choose, Land or sea?

Would you conclude that choosing sea means that you hate your life? Or, would choosing the sea indicate that you love your life? How would you define ‘life?ʼ Have you ever been at this “crossroad?” Have you ever had to decide whether you loved land or sea at the point where the land meets the sea?

My Golden Moment is where the land and sea meets the sky. Do you know where that is? That is my G-moment and it is beautiful. It is my point, my peace.

What is ‘life’ anyway? Have you thought about that? Is it reality or is it a simulation, life is just all in your mind … your imagination? Maybe, our physical world is actually a virtual world – our virtual world is our realiy. If it were, do we have any way of knowing to prove beyond all doubt? Maybe, we’re just all little pcs/tablets ‘connected’ to a mainframe or gigantic computer. Maybe, when you reach that Golden point where the land meets the sea … and you wonder ‘what if?” … maybe, you’re just an actor in a huge movie production and it is all UN-REAL. Just a magnificent simulation or parallel universe.

When you step off …. And choose the sea … you leave this simulate/make-believe world and enter the REAL world. A world which is infinite and that which has no pain and suffering?

This may be an absurd idea … but logical thinking cannot exclude it.

Stopping to reflect, is a vital key to adjust your attitude if you need to.

Other peoplesʼ pain

What if you got to this point because maybe, just maybe, you have a great sense of empathy for pain, for other peoplesʼ pain, in particular.

What if you can literally ‘feelʼ othersʼ pain? You can see their pain, even pain they donʼt realize they are putting themselves  through?

Is that a definition of wisdom? To not just be able to ‘seeʼ things but … to see through things? Is it possible that you get to this ‘point … this dot”, and you look around you, around at the world, hoping to see acts of kindness, care and love but you don’t.

All you see and feel is suffering because you can literally feel immense pain and suffering people are experiencing that is all around us and happening every single moment of the day?

Is it possible that you are just very highly empathetic and caring, that you are a person who continuously feels and has very high trust, care and compassionate levels? Superhuman even.

That extraordinary ability you have of feeling other peoplesʼ pain brings you to the edge, brings you to the brink … that it is just too much … the suffering has to stop and you are powerless to stop it. So, you keep walking until you reach the point where the land meets the sea? Is that when you stop walking?

What do you do then? This is the point at which the term you ‘die for what you believe inʼ springs from, I think.

If it isnʼt, they should change that story.

Essentially, that is what separates us humans from other mammals, say, dogs for example. That we can ‘feel’ feelings and emotions. We can feel hungry or pain and put ourselves in another’s shoes and empathise but a dog may be hungry but it cannot have the feeling of hunger.

The thing is we have access to parts of the brain but we do not … have direct access to your feelings … to feeling and no matter how hard we try to empathise with others, no person has direct experience of anyone else’s feelings.

Sad, but true … but that doesn’t mean we stop trying, is it?

Your life is a continous journey of setting, failing and succeeding in goals … until you …
kick the bucket!
Keep moving forward, I say!

Your story needs to be told

You have a story – your story, so far.

Everyone we know and donʼt know has their stories too. Dead and alive. The former donʼt have any more chapters to write in their story in this dimension at least but the latter have every chance to write the best chapters of their lives yet to live.

Read that last line again.

Let me tell you something, your story needs to be told .

By you. No one else but you.

Pick up your courage and … tell it. Youʼll be surprised at the amount of people who want to listen to your story….

So far.

Summon courage like a super hero like Superman has

Bare your own cross

I loved the sermon our Head Catholic Priest of the parish that my family have been going to for the last twenty years shared today. It was about carrying or being prepared to bare or carry your own cross.

That in life, every single person is asked (not at their choosing) to carry certain burdens. Their unique burdens. He said that we should all be prepared to bare our own crosses – our own burdens, just as Jesus did prior to being nailed to the cross that he literally bared.

It is important to note that if you are able to, reach out and …. Touch someone. Reach out and provide some help to othersʼ who may be carrying a much more heavier cross than you are handling at a certain point in your lives.

One can truly understand the suffering of a person or the burdens another person carries until he has ‘walked a thousand miles in the shoes of that personʼ

The Father asked us – the congregation to pray that more care and empathy be demonstrated to those who need it most. By sharing the weight of someoneʼs cross, you give the possibility of liberating that person.

You may just be the wind needed beneathe their wings.

Just remember though, you need to know you and know your limits. You may just find yourself being overwhelmed by carrying too much of another person’s cross. Don’t let this get out of hand because then, it may just be untenable.

You both suffer.

You may then find yourself at that Golden Moment again.

Bare your cross.
Then …
Help someone else carry their’s … only if you can manage both

The connections that matter

In life, connections matter – in the family, between families, between friends and families, between communities and between nations.

Connections matter, the right connections, in particular. For many reasons, one of which is survival.

There is one other connection that is paramount in all this and that is the brain-body connection and even further, the connection between the pre-frontal cortex and the rest of the circuits/parts of the brain. It differs in every single person.

Fundamentally, you are your connectome (all the 100 billion neurons and 100trillion connections, that is uniquely – YOU).

But within these connections and circuits may lay answers to some of the questions that have been baffling science since the dawn of time, like –

How is the mind connected to the brain and how is the mind connected to the universe? We now know for a fact that it is. But how?

For those who feel more than others, who feel more hurt than others, there would obviously be an avalanche of hormones flooding through them because there may be an imbalance of or rather an impairment between the prefrontal cortex and their reward systems.

How?

A neuron example and its network of dentrites
One of the 100 billions neurons in your brain that make you …
who you are.
Your are your connectome

Well, neuroscience shows and tells us that if these connections within the brain is impaired, then the reward systems prevents the prefrontal cortex from using its decision-making powers to put the brakes on risky behavior.

Risky behaviour like making a choice at that Golden Moment.

I will explore in more detail the importance of taking care of the connections within the greatest computer that man has known to date – the brain.

 

Your body goes where your mind goes.

But what can you do right now to help you?

Simple – get your body in shape, your mind will follow. Get in to the gym and work your muscles, that is the hard and the easy part of it. Your mind is the GPS system of your body. Iʼve always told the people that your body goes where your mind goes.

Full-stop.

From my almost thirty years of helping people, help themselves achieve a stronger, healthier version of themselves and observing thousands of gym goers … and getting confirmation from the scientific community, amongst many other things that (an impossibly obvious conclusion) –

The Body and brain are connected.

True?
Neuroscience is still at the level of where medicine was in the 1700s
A long way to fully understand who we are….
Who “I AM.”

My tip to you: Given the fact that the body and brain are intricately connected, my question to you is –

Why not take care of both?

As best as you can.

It just makes sense and may just be the most important decision that youʼll ever make in your life. Your quality of life, literally depends on it. You have the power to do something about it, and make a positive change in your life – a change that empowers you.

To live the life youʼve always wanted and imagined you’d like to live, starting first, with your mind … or your brain to specific. This is not wishful/delusional thinking, this is positive thinking as wishful thinking can be dangerous if it’s not based on reality.

Remember, science is telling us now that you are more than your genes. You are your connectome. You must make the changes in the connectome required to make the behavioural changes you hope for and find a way to bring about these changes. After 30 years of helping people, help themselves … achieve  

All the best in your choices.

Remember, keep in mind what my grandfather used to tell me in my youth –

be careful of thoughts, it determines, you actions; be careful of your actions, it determines your habits; be careful of your habits, it determines your character and be careful of your character, it determines your destiny.”

Program your mind …your thoughts  & protect it or someone or something else will program it for you.

Choose well   Cheers & ahoy!

 

The Old Capʼn Viking Pirate …. & cross-roads in life

One of my quirks … walking around places with very little clothes on .. ha ha ha !!
Here I am Working out in my gym during a photo shoot

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Your thoughts and feelings (attitude) affect your performance and results in life.

Me, some of my quirks (showing off my muscles, posing at every and any opportunity and my desire to ‘over’ dress than to ‘under’ dress. In this case, a perceived “mis-match “ Of clothing items. Also, my quirk of love for dogs (and in particular, my pirate dog) and animals in general.

This is true for many things in life.

Matter of fact, your attitude heavily impacts on your performance in sport and life, in general.

Winning. I love winning, who doesn’t?

Winning in life stems from a winning attitude. Full stop!

Your attitude toward your potential is either the key to or the lock on the door of personal fulfilment.

Most of you are aware of this.

Getting control of my thoughts helped me …. reject the economic disadvantages I faced in my youth growing up in a developing country such as the Fiji Islands and this allowed me to enter a world where self-esteem and the esteem of others were abound.

There were also a lot of advantages: Fijians and Fijian Culture is very affirmative always uplifting. Not derogatory and ‘down-putting’ from a very young age, like so many western societies. Fijians are a very loving and caring and compassionate race, it’s in their/our blood. Fijians are very strong believers and very hard workers that don’t make whinging a part of their lingo. They also know when to take a rest.

Fijians love wearing flowers (wearing beauty of nature … & skirts) and understand how to ‘relax’.
If you want to learn how to relax and ‘slow down’ from your busy lifestyle and mind … just go to Fiji or speak to a Fijian.
They will give you tips on happiness that could change your life for the better.
Learn to be on “Fiji Time” when appropriate.

The decision and desire to change me for the Better attracted other like-minded/energy persons/champions in to my realm and me in to theirs. The collaboration (short and long) built a formidable team of many things but one thing bonded all: LOVE.

Every thought and act was done out of love, not hate.

Read that last line again. That is one of the keys to your fulfillment. Love.

How did I get to 2 x World Top 5 World Natural Classical Physique Bodybuilding Champion and be one of the BEST in my sport in the world? What helped me win?

Vv – wearing the last beanie I got ordered many years ago
And what does the “Vv” stand for? “❤️alentine ❤️itality “ of course.
Out for a park run /sprints with my Mr Fuzzy/Fussy Cuddles

I can and I will share with you, through storytelling, how a boy born in the small paradise and friendly islands of Fiji went all the way to stand on stage in New York, USA and beating the best in the world.

Many things contributed to me achieving my goals of being one of the best in the world in my chosen sport.

We are more alike than you think.

Two key things that got me there was desire and getting control of my thoughts: My Attitude.

My ability to think Champion Thoughts and feel Champion Feelings and my never-ending pursuit to éliminate ignorance (some people call this curiosity) ultimately resulted in my two World Championships, representing Australia. This fuelled my work and how hard and smart I worked every single day leading up to the Big Day, when I got to stand on the world stage in New York, USA and compete against the best from countries around the world.

Achieving a well-balanced physique should be understood for what it is: a masterful fusion of art and science.
One should improve once’s “BODY Smart”knowledge. this takes time and deliberate practise.
Top 5 in the world, two years in a row at a sport I love ain’t too shaby for an city boy from the beautiful paradise islands of Fiji
If YOU think you can and you BELIEVE YOU CAN … YOU CAN. WIth God by your side, you have NO DOUBT.

You’re a champion too, in more ways than one. Believe it so.

Here’s 3 reasons why I believe a Champion is in you, if you don’t already think so:

1)  Because you acknowledge the help of others – knowing you could never have got this far in life and do what you do – ALONE.

2)  Because you aim high – understanding that the quality of the goals you choose influences your character.

3)  Because you never give up – knowing that true ability comes only through persistence and consistency.

There are other reasons why I believe you are a champion, like, maybe you consistently give of yourself to other freely. This compassionate act is a champion act, fuelled by a champion feeling and champion thought.

You could probably list many more. Ultimately, winning is a way of thinking – a way of life.

Feel your emotions.
Think through and with your heart.
Listen to your íntuition

Mastering your Mind, controlling your thoughts.

Everyone knows they’re supposed to ‘be positive’ – to think positively, and to discourage negativity. Yet for so many people thoughts just seem to ‘happen’ before they know about it!

Thoughts don’t JUST happen – you think them!

YOU choose your thoughts.

Here’s the thing –

Learn the skills to take control of your mind, your thoughts. Before it is too late.

True?
Neuroscience is still at the level of where medicine was in the 1700s
A long way to fully understand who we are….
Who “I AM.”

Participate and compete in the game of life, don’t be a spectator!

Are you a ‘spectator in the game of life?”, like the majority of humans who watch life happens as bystanders.

They avoid the main arena for fear of being – rejected, ridiculed, hurt or defeated. They prefer not to make waves or get involved and would rather watch it happen on tv ( I don’t watch tv by the way .. haven’t for many years).

Most of all, I believe the spectators in life fear winning. You see, after helping thousands of people over the last 3 decades I have found that it is not losing that humans fear the most … it is the possibility of winning!

After all, winning carries the burden of responsibility and for setting a good example. That is too much for many and so … they sit back and watch other to their thing.

Don’t!

Be the winner that YOU are …. That YOU were born to be!

Winners set and achieve goals which not only benefit themselves, but more importantly, benefits others.

 

Practise thinking winning thoughts.

Winning is ALL in the ATTITUDE!

Not aptitude … attitude is the criterion of success.

You see, people can buy many things … cars, houses, businesses, people … but what they cannot buy is Attitude. You couldn’t buy attitude for a million dollars.

Remember this: Attitudes are not for sale.

Winning is no more than one’s personal pursuit of individual excellence.

Don’t forget, you don’t have to get lucky to win in life, and/or do you have to knock people down or gain at the expense of others.

No … winning is taking the talent or potential you were born with, and have since developed, and using it fully toward a goal or purpose that makes you happy. If you don’t, no one else will because no one else cares.

Feel and practice feeling good positive, winning thoughts

My grandfather always told me that Talent is Cheap. You can buy it, and recruit it. It’s everywhere. “But son” he says … “the world is also full of talented alcoholics.”

Education is not cheap, but it’s for sale and for hire if you have the time and money.

It seems people are still trying to get their BS, MBA or PhD in droves instead of investing in taking care of their attitude. People are still hanging their multiple diplomas on their office walls.

They don’t realise that their attitude is the thing that is their most priceless possession. This all fundamentally depends on their ability to sustainably control their thoughts.

To control their mind.

But as I remember my grandfather saying before he passed away –

Son, the world is also full of educated derelicts, unable to relate to supportive roles with others.”

He instilled the importance of having the right attitude, in me, from a very young age.

Education qualifications can be bought and most other things. But Attitudes are not for sale.

Read that last line again.

Attain the right attitude. That makes YOU Happy.

Are you happy?

Choose the right attitude.

All the best in your choice.

Cheers & Ahoy!!!

 

The old Captain Viking Pirate ….. & attitude … and control and … the mind

Champions practise a lot of visualisation and simulation.
To create magic, you need to fuse the worlds of sanity (where you are) with insanity (where you dream/imagine you are, before you are).
That is difficult.
That is one of the key keys.
Don’t stop. Trying. Believing.
Keep on … keeping on. You’ll get there. Everyone always does.
Especially, if you do it with your heart. and ….
with LOVE.

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Variety is the spice of life?

With another woman.
A fan.

Well, I have a few questions: Are you a man with a “masculine sexual essence?“. Just another way to say – ‘are you a REAL MAN?”

Any man that is a REAL MAN, with a masculine sexual essence (we all have this) will almost inevitably DESIRE SEXUAL VARIETY. You have had thoughts, many thoughts of having sex with other women.

Am I right?

Even if you love your intimate partner (your wife or girlfriend). Even if you are completely committed to her, you will have thoughts…. and naturally want sexual occasions with other women. Now, we’ve heard that when a man is promiscuous, apparently it reveals that he is lacking intimacy at home. This, is absolutely, not true.

Your desire for other women is simply a reflection of your nature as a red-blooded Real Man.

 

Self-discipline is the one key characteristic of a winner that really makes habit changes happen.

Discrimination is good

This is where I believe discrimination is good. Helps us make choices.

You need to discriminate against these desires that has deep sources from childhood. You need to discriminate so that you know when to discipline yourself and say ‘no’.

There is only one of two choices that you need to make when faced with the decision to have sex or not have sex with another woman. Your choice will fundamentally, depend on your philosophy of life.

If you see having sex with as many women as you can as part of your purpose in your life, then, you’ll most likely pursue this route.

A ‘coaching conversation’ with Brad, while taking a rest break between exercise sets.
Helping Brad, help himself, achieve something he cares about and become more of who he wants to be.
Through belief, hope and effort + hear, within a tailored program, one can find ‘balance & symmetry’ that is vital to overall Peak Performance and being the Man You Can BE.
Self-discipline is key to any sustainable change.

Positive Self-discipline

Deciding not to have sex with other women but the woman you’re with requires discipline. Positive self-discipline does not mean self-suppression. No. Far from it.

Self-discipline is simply – practice!

Self-discipline ‘puts your money where your mouth is.”

Self-discipline begins where ‘lip service’ ends.

All other qualities such as positive self-awareness; positive self-esteem; positive self-control; positive self-motivation; positive self-image and so forth are absolutely worthless without self-discipline.

Self-discipline should not be seen as ‘doing without’ but instead should be viewed as “doing within’, because it is a mental practise. A mental practise based on repetition.

Explaining some of the finer points of training to Vicky during my ‘coaching conversations’ with my students.
Better athletes train smarter.

Seeing without seeing through simulation

I use a lot of ‘seeing with images’ and quite easily simulate. I’ve been doing this for many years and it is truly amazing how these images manifest itself in to my perception and ultimately, my reality.

The art of ‘seeing’ without seeing is an underrated skill and one you should apply to your life. Everything begins with your thought, so disciplining your thoughts of having sex with other women should be practised.

Why practise?

Because to develop your mental strength, you need to think like a winner, and strive to learn the art of simulation. A skill that champions and winners in all fields have mastered.

 

Practise does not make perfect. Perfect practise makes perfect.

Let’s keep it simple – remember, the simple format for learning a skill or habit (in this case, choosing to not have sex with another woman):

  • Desire
  • Information
  • Assimilation
  • Repetition

So, there you have it. Work on your self-discipline, beginning with your philosophy on life.

Nothing else but self-discipline can make or break a habit. Self-discipline, alone can make a permanent change in you.

Self-discipline is your key to controlling your desire to sleep with other women.

Enjoy the beauty and radiance of the other women that cross your path and discipline yourself to not act on your thoughts of sleeping with the woman. But, if that is part of your purpose in life, then go right ahead.

The former decision will surely not adversely affect you, your relationship with your wife, kids and family

Choose well, my friend.

 

Cheer & Ahoy!

The old Captain Viking Pirate … & saying no to thoughts of sleeping with other women with the tool of self-discipline.

Photo op with a local resident and her dog. Lovely.

A variation of the ‘back single biceps” pose … on the beach.
The combination of chaos + order = Life.
Find your balance. Find your beauty. Find your truth.

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Loving your Wife (or Husband’s) Quirks.

One of my many quirks – my Old Captain Viking Pirate persona

After almost twenty years of being together and over seventeen years of marriage, I’ve discovered many things about what I cherish about our relationship. One of the many things that I love is my wife’s quirks. Habits that are unique to her. Its funny, but in the same manner, her most endearing traits can be (at times) my greatest frustration.

You see, Cathy is a spreadsheet and ‘to-do list’ individual who is World-Class at being a senior Financial Advisor – precise, exacting,  not some of the time … all the time. Me, on the other hand am a risk-taking, follow-your-heart kind of a person, an entrepreneur – impulsive, expressive. Kind of like a Pirate Captain.

Another quirk of mine …. my love of the sea –  the old Captain Viking Pirate Muscle Monk

Some things in life come to you quickly and some comes slow, with time and patience. It has taken me a little while to realize that many of the fussy, overly meticulous things that Cathy does are actually acts of love for me. Her attention to detail is amazing. I couldn’t have represented Australia at two successive World Natural Bodybuilding Championships, two years in a row, placing in the Top 5 in the World without her. Without her attention to detail and skill for accuracy and completeness.

In our day-to-day life, her quirks just makes life more efficient and effective and therefore more enjoyable.

For example, when I go out for grocery shopping I don’t usually make a list (I have tried making them) and I actually like trying ‘new’ things and enjoy the experience of shopping. Cathy on the other hand, prepares a list, which I don’t strictly follow. Usually. But, the point I am trying to make is that she takes the time to do the list and she does this with love.

My quirk of love for great design in – vintage cars, watches … etc

That is a quirk of hers that is fantastic but is also frustrating.

I’m sure she would say that I have quite a few quirks of my own. Things like making sure that the locks on the door is checked when I leave the home, to ensure that my wife and children are safe. She could probably write many other quirks that would most probably be embarrassing because it would make me appear very vulnerable and naked.

But not to her.

These are quirks that she has allowed me to do for all these years that I have know her. Simply because she loves me. I’m sure you could look at your quirks that your wife or husband has allowed you to get away with too.

What a wife. What a best female friend. What a woman. What a human being.

You see, my wife loves making lists of almost every thing. I don’t. That is ok. That is the “yin and yang’’ of our relationship. That is what the balance is of our ‘69’ and has contributed to the success of our almost twenty year relationship so far.

One of my quirks … walking around places with very little clothes on .. ha ha ha !!
Here I am Working out in my gym during a photo shoot

The very quirk of mine of not living by written lists is very obvious. It doesn’t mean that I don’t have them. You see, I just keep the most important lists in my head …. My heart. And I live by them.

From my perspective, the most important thing in my eyes and view of life is that … even though I am guilty of going through life without making lists, I know and she knows that … SHE is on my list of Life.

She is and always has been on my List since the first day I met her.

Everything I have ever done and everything she has ever done and wants to do, has made my (unwritten) but what I call my ‘heart list’. It may not be visible and tangible as the myriad of lists that she makes and lives by (her quirk) but the list (my heart list) is there. It is present, always. Unseen to others, but seen by me … and demonstrated in my actions and words.

That is part of what makes each of us, who we are. We are ONE but we are Separate. We are a union but we are individuals. With and without lists, we have found a way. It is neither the Right way or the Wrong Way.

It is just WAY.

OUR WAY.

World Natural Bodybuilding Championships – New York, USA.
Standing with middle-weight (my category) and overall World Champion.
Me – 4th placed in the world
Competitor beside me – 1st place and World champion
Right: My Team Partner and wife – Cathy. (She has had to live with my penchant to pose at every and any opportunity I have for almost 20 years)

I love her quirks. Always have, always will.

I hope she loves mine too. I know she does. We wouldn’t be together still, after all these years otherwise.

We wouldn’t have done it any other way.

I thank her for tolerating my quirks all these years. Bring on the next twenty years, I say.

That is my wife, my Cathy for you.

Loving my quirks and weirdness all these years.

Even the recently appearing … character … The old Captain Viking Pirate … ha ha ha !!!

 

Cheers & ahoy!!!

 

The old Captain Viking Pirate … & spouse’s loving their partner’s quirks.

My quirk to pose everywhere and anywhere

one of my many quirks – my penchant for never sacrificing form over weight in the gym & practising safe exercise technique all the time. Not some of the time.

Doing and being is essential to muscle building success for your health and muscle goals.
Connect the two. Make them one.
Vv.
Another quirk of mine : my need to teach and mentor and help, help people, help themselves find their best selves.

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Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde

I ask God to help me be the man my son hopes to be when he is older.
I’m far from perfect but I get up and try every single day … to be the man I want him to be.
And I have no doubt he will … because I have God on my side/in my corner.

Men.

We’re interesting creatures.

Simple, yet complex.

I like to refer to us all, as the simple-complex man, individually.

Women, do you agree?

Mens’ needs are simple. I grew up in an large extended family and I heard a lot of things said by many different people I lived with during my first 12 years of my life. One thing I heard one of the older women was –

“the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.’

When I reflect on that now, there is a partial truth, actually more than just a partial truth in that statement. You see, men need a few basic needs (like being fed with warm, proper nutrition) and we’re satisfied. Well, I think most Real Men would be. I also think that men, Real Men, are torn between two extremes, like a Dr Jekyll and Hyde or Harvey Two Face from the DC Universe.

Let’s run through a few needs or what I refer to as ‘matters of the heart’, as I see it. If we run through the basic psychological needs like – to know and be known, to love and be loved by others, there is one that stands out. I can honestly say and I honestly believe that men, Real Men need deep, caring relationships with other men.

Enjoying a little ‘biceps workout’ with my very good Aussie friend of almost 20 years now.
A best man in my wedding.
Every man needs at least one good male friend in his life.
Just one.

A have a handful of very good male friends. One, I spent a day and half with as he passed through Sydney, on his way to South America for a week long conference, attended by represented by 60 countries, including the USA and Australia. He is a United Nations Legal Advisor. We’ve been best friends since we were in kindergarten, over 40 years ago. We share dreams and sorrows. We ‘open up’ to each other and hug in public. We lean on each other during tough times but also celebrate during wins.

I have another friend, the very first friend I made on my first day of University almost 30 years ago at the start of my first degree (majoring in Mathematics and Physics). He lives only a suburb away from me and we meet up regularly for coffee and ‘debrief’ almost every week. We make time for each other.

I also have another friend I meet up every quarter that I have known for the last 20 years. We share our fears, our successes, our failures and our dreams. We share feelings. Just the way men should feel comfortable doing with other men. He got a divorce 5 years ago, it was difficult period for him. He’s in another chapter in his life.

I also have a few other friends scattered throughout my existence that have travelled with me in different phases of our lives. All there for a specific reason, upon hind-sight.

The point is, men need other men for deep, caring relationships. Like I need these men.

My very first friend at University on my very first day almost 30 years ago.
Lives just a suburb away for the last 20 years.
Catching up for a coffee and chat and digging deep in our relationship.
Man-stuff!

Yep, you read that correct. And you don’t have to be gay to want that (not that I have anything against being gay or anything like that). No, just talking purely on a ‘needs basis’.

You see, in my experience with males I call my friends and my love of observation and being around mostly men in the last 30 years of visiting the gym, I can deduce that Men need strong, caring relationships with other men. Relationships that allow a man to speak freely about things going on in his life. It is vital to their existence and sense of being and purpose. It is vital to their sanity and management of energy.

It’s to this level that James instructed Christians, “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed” (James 5:16). I believe that a man who doesn’t have at least one other man to who he can be accountable regarding failures, hurts and temptations is a prime target for masculine anger.

Yep, you heard me – masculine anger!

And how does this arise?

Well, from my observations and dealings with mostly men in the different phases of their lives, I have seen that the angry man in our society seems to be caught between mythical masculinity on one side and true masculinity on the other.

You see, the man feels the pressure to achieve, to earn, to conquer, to win and so forth. Yes, but he also feels the silent pressure to do all these things on his own. Now, that is a lot of pressure, and just like many things in life, there is no ‘one size fits all’ approach. Men all handle pressure differently and have different stress tolerance levels.

Apart from the pressure just mentioned, a man, a Real Man also feels the NEED to love and to nurture those he loves. He also has the need to be loved and nurtured by those who love him.

This is where so many of us go a bit askew and out of line.

Askew, when he tries to reconcile or balance the two needs of love.

The man, the Real Man is constantly torn between two extremes of character, like Harvey Two Face or Dr Jekyll & Mr Hyde. He is torn between being invincible and being vulnerable. He is torn between being aloof and being involved and present. He is torn between being self-serving and selfish and being of assistance.

This confusion and imbalance caused by the constant juggling act between character extremes drives a lot of men crazy, which I believe contributes to the high levels of male suicides every year. The roots of this conflict sends up numerous shoots of anger-producing tendencies in his life.

This has got to be stopped or at least managed better.

What we need is a gym like the one I ran for 7 years, in every suburb. A place where men can go and just connect with other men. A place where men can love and be loved, unconditionally. A place where every man came there with the honest purpose to help the ‘man in the mirror’ and to connect with other like-minded men who are there for the single purpose of bettering relationships.

With themselves and with other men.

This gym will be predominantly for men. For Men Only. Men need this (and this has nothing to do with sexism). This is about survival of the male species, of what it means to be a man. Today and tomorrow. Consider this: more men die now from suicide in Australia then women die from breast cancer.

Shocking truth: Men suicide rate in Australia!

A last real Man’s Domain: a gym like mine, where everyone knew your name and were happy you came.

Sit back and watch the men that we produce … within families, within communities .. within states … within countries and the … future world.

These will be men with much more balanced characters that will one day make decisions when they will be leaders of tomorrow. Decisions that we hope will be rooted on the foundation of what they have learned while – loving other men and being loved by other men.

Give it two decades.

We will create not only make Champions out of these men, but more importantly we will help form the foundations of Champion Leaders.

I will be smoking my cigar-filled pipe by then, sitting back and thinking “wow!!”

That is life. What a wonderful life and world this is.

Amen.

 

Until next time …. cheers to all YOU Real Men out there … never stop believing in YOU … keep on keeping on … Stay alive, it’s worth it!!

Ahoy & cheers!!

 

The old Captain Viking Pirate … & his thoughts on the battle within most men

Me & some of the Men of the Gym I ran for 7 years … getting together for a simple eat & meat men-bonding session
Simply because men need this.

I had a family gym that was predominantly male (70%) for about 7 years. I encouraged the men to speak freely and communicate all their feelings and we shared stories and helped one another through tough emotionally difficult phases of life. What a wonderful group of ‘post-feminite new age males’.

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