Me (extreme left) with some of my gym friends/pals. The good old days where a gym was also a place for social interaction (as almost no one wore earphones) and loads and loads of fun.
I owned and managed a Family Gym for about seven years in the recent past. I saw every member of my gym as an extended family relation with me. I ran my gym business like a family and treated everyone like so. They always knew that I was happy that they came and I knew everyone’s name. Made wonderful, genuine friends. What an amazing phase of life that was for me … in leading the ship that was my gym.
How would you define a friend? How do you define friendship?
I’m sure each and every one of us can define friendship or a friend in many ways and they would most often be described in relation to the actions he or she takes with the person or persons.
How would you define what a ‘true friend’ is for you? Do you have friends? What kind of friends? Is Jesus your friend (if you’re a Christian)? Does God call you his friend? What kind of friends do you have? Are you cautious? Are you careful? Are you committed and candid? These are qualities we need to have in true friendship, true friends. Are your real friends luxuries or necessities? How many do you have? What do you think?
What Social Media really ruined is the word “Friend” and all the meanings behind it. We’re now calling anyone a “Friend” without even seeing them or knowing them. Just because they request ‘friend’ from you. I mean would you really talk to everyone in your street and call them your ‘friend?’
No, I didn’t think so.
Happy times in my gym with friends. We had loads of fun … & had time to build muscle too. Some challenging but good times they were.
So, why do you think social media is any different?
Virtual, imaginary (does not apply to Jesus or God) & fake friends … they’ll never back you up or support you or be real to you.
They’ll give you fancy names & say nice things “online” but still they’re not real. Even when you meet some of them in real life, they turn out to be a huge disappointment & yes I can’t say all of them… but most of them!
To me there is now a ‘grey’ area with how people define friend and acquaintance. What would be considered an acquaintance prior to social media is now grouped under the name ‘friends.’
Not good. Not realistic.
It’s like defining what is ‘good’ and saying that everything that is good is actually good, when it may not be. May be not as good and so could be classed as ‘bad.’ Anyways, you know what I mean, I don’t want to give an example that is not very applicable.
I know a lot of people have many friends, some hundreds, some hundreds of thousands and even millions for some World Famous Stars. But for what purpose? It is great for marketing and selling products to certain tribes and their targeted tribe/audience. Business, I understand.
I don’t have many ‘friends’ on social media.
I choose to do so.
This may be because my definition of a friend differs to many others. I’m sort of ‘old-school’ in that way. I’ve got a few friends for 40 years (started friendship in kindergarten) and a few more from 30 years ago (Primary School friends) and quite a few in the last 20 years. Then, a few in the last ten years.
Friends, they are truly amazing.
I’ve got some friends that have many friends. Some have thousands of friends actually, according to social media, and wonderful for them. But… is it possible that every day brings forth a new proof that most of them are not real.
Zero conversation, zero support, zero common interest & zero giving a fuck.
We need to get back to the real meaning of the word “Friends” and wake up to smell the coffee and separate the real from the fake.
Friends from my gym grabbing a bite for dinner. We all need to make sure that we feed those hard-working muscles now. Apply stimulus (weight training), eat adequate nutrition, get quality rest. Repeat. Grow.
We need to adopt some ‘old school’ definitions to some important aspects of human relationships. Definitions that still apply today. Definitions that confirm that what is at stake here and what we are talking about here is not a relationship between computers or other forms of technology.
What we are trying to save or bring back again is the old-fashioned values and principles that are the foundations of human relationships and true friendship or friends is one of them.
So, ask yourself, how many friends do you have? How many real friends, that is. It is important to have friends, yes. Friends listen to what you say and allow you to be yourself. Really good friends also listen to what you ‘don’t say’.
Wisdom can be said to be the power or ability of discernment.
Maybe social media has ruined the idea of a friend forever, maybe it hasn’t. Time will tell I guess but the other question to ask is what else is social media changing at such never before seen pace? What is social media damaging in human relationships that has taken centuries to develop? Are the short-term benefit of accepting this change (simply because it is ‘new technology”) better than the the long-term costs to human relationships? Who has done the ‘risk:benefit ratio’ test on these changes to relationships and societies in general?
Me and a very good friend from University Days … real friendship is a lot of things but two things that are common to them are – time and work/effort.
We are going through a very interesting phase/era of life of unprecedented change. More has changed in the last 50 years than there has in the last 200 years. But should the pace of change of technology be mimicked in other areas of our existence? I’m not sure that is good or ideal. It will bring more harm than good.
It is highly likely the changes we have seen and the pace of change will continue to happen. But at what cost, I wonder? It has already sneaked in under our noses and changed the way we view a very big and important aspect of our individual lives: a friend.
30 years later … still great mates with the first friend I friended on my first day of lectures doing my first University Science Degree.
Meeting up for a coffee and chat is something we do quite regularly. Talk about business, family and self – matters. Because it matters.
What else is changing ‘under our noses’ that we are not aware of because we are ‘too busy’ trying to exist and coming to grips with the pace of change as it is? I wonder? Who know where we are headed? Can any person ‘see’ the future impact of all these accepted unprecedented rapid changes? People make predictions on the stock market and shares and property values but is anyone forecasting the costs to individuals and societies and countries of all the magnitude and speed of change? I guess we are already seeing it: the huge growth of mental illness in the last 20 years… the fastest growing illness known to man-kind today. Maybe this is just a symptom of something greater to come …
I don’t like saying that ‘time will tell’ because being “pro-active” is far better than the very common “reactive’ nature humans and societies in general have become today. Isn’t prevention better than cure? Oh well, like most things in life, saying and doing can be worlds apart… and it is probably easier (not cheaper) to cross the bridge when we get there aye?
But, I still wonder?
All the best to you and your friendships.
Until next time,
Best of Vitality to you.
The old Captain Viking Pirate Fiji Island Muscle Monk
My Family of friends in my gym I owned and managed for 7 years.
Friends that workout together … stay together?