The đalentine tribe (minus our dog 𶠖 Mr Fuzzy/Fussy cuddles
Marriage is Teamwork.
No matter what a husband or wife happens to be or do, MARRIAGE IS TEAMWORK.
From my experience of being married for almost twenty years now and also from learning from other peoplesâ experiences, marriage is a great example of ULTIMATE TEAMWORK.
I would go further to say that, given the high rates of divorce, marriages that last are not just because of teamwork but they have teamwork because they are a TEAM THAT WORKS.
Marriage is not about the hope of WORKING AS A TEAM, it is about two people WHO COME TOGETHER⊠& FIT ⊠like 6 fits into 9, to make â69â.
God does not give individual gifts đ to frustrate a marriage. No. God gives us unique gifts to ENHANCE the marriage. God does not lead two people into a marriage to see âsparks flyâ, pulling a husband & wife in opposite directions.
No⊠God, leads them into marriage to blend and maximise their strengths, their usefulness.
Whenever this happens in my relationship with my wife, I pray to God for his helpâŠ. To give me the strength, courage & wisdom to make good decisions.
This is where our faith in God helps us during turbulent times in the marriage. There are many forces (internal and external) that work hard to tear a marriage apart.
If you believe in your marriage & what it represents is important to you, ask for Godâs guidance and work hard to keep your marriage .
My beautiful wife of almost 20 years now. My love for this human being keeps increasing every single day.
As I see it, much of the problems & tension that occur in marriages comes from the INABILITY to BALANCE the ACT of GIVING to your spouse /other while retaining a SENSE OF SELF.
In other words, the tension comes from grasping or holding onto what we consider our INDIVIDUALITY. I believe no matter what our gifts, talents or personalities⊠when they are given To god.
With strong belief in God, he will work & blend it all out and provide balance, because that is just what God will do.
No other team that you are a part of in life – business, sport, religion, politics etc ⊠will ever be as IMPORTANT or benefit & challenge you like a successful marriage.
It takes WORK⊠a lot of real hard work. It is the complete & ULTIMATE example of TEAMWORK in life.
With God (part of the team, too).
Hereâs a few questions for you:
1. Has there been a time when you put one of your individual goals âon hold â so your spouse could pursue a dream?
I AM.
I an Entrepreneur of IMAGINATION.
Through Mastery of Self, I am able to be an Agent of Creative Destruction to allow the release of new ideas … new thinking … and a new Meaning.
Meaning is the NEW MONEY.
Coaching conversations..
Over the years I have listened to many individuals. Listened to their stories.
Over the years I think I have had in excess of twenty thousand conversations with people of all ages. From teens to ninety-year olds.
Over the years I have had many coaching conversations. In these coaching conversations, I have helped increase individuals awareness of how their perception of events in their lives either propel them forward or hold them back.
I have listened to others and the way in which the stories they tell ourselves have the power to hold us back or propel us forward.
As an example âŠ
The bottom line is that I wouldnât be the person I am today if my hearing hadnât been terrible when I was young. Neither would you.
This is why taking the time to properly frame our narratives and the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves can be so critical.
Keep your dreams alive .
Snd if youâre going to dream … Dream BIG.
You serve no one by being and thinking small.
Think BIG!
Re-frame in away to move forward ..
Self-pity for being dealt a bad hand is easy.
Self-awareness is what brings with it empowerment and insight.
This, important first step is sometimes hard.
The first turns your past into an anchor, while the second turns it into the wind that fills your sails and keeps you moving forward.
Is there some piece of your story, personal or professional, that youâve been able to reframe in a way that moves you forward, instead of holding you back?
Wonderful question for all to ponder. Iâm one of the most self-aware person you will ever meet, but that is nothing new to me as I have been this way since I was a kid (from the adults who knew me in my youth).
Everything happens for a reason. Success is not an accident. It is based on the Aristotelian Principle of CAUSALITY. Today, we call it – âthe Law of CAUSE & EFFECT.â
Cowboy đ€ House.
Hereâs one Iâd like to share – I was raised by my grandparents as my biological Dad died when I was 4 years old, trying to save a person from downing ⊠and was overpowered by the victim and drowning with that person). My biological mother was only 16 and had a choice to have an abortion but I thank her and God that she didnât.
Her decision to give me life has allowed me to not only live but to do what I do – predominantly, helped people, help themselves building their bridges from where they are to where they desire to be over the last 3 decades.
Anyways, I grew up in a large extended family – grandparents, grand uncles and aunties, uncles, aunties, cousins and siblings and ⊠visitors and extended family visiting.
My home was always full and was always noisy. Our neighbours used to call our home – the âCowboy Houseâ.
We didnât have much of anything – food (there were no less than 10 people to feed every single day ⊠and I do not know how my grandparents managed to do this), didnât have much material possessions (my grandmother used to sew my school uniforms) ⊠but the home certainly had a lot of love.
There was a lot of storytelling and sitting around talking almost every night. It was just part of the home ⊠part of the culture.
Because there was so much noise, most kids would not be able to concentrate/focus. But, I told myself way back in early Primary School that I will teach myself to study/do school work/read in ⊠noise.
My teachers couldnât understand how a kid (me) could get Top Academic Results every year.
Most kids/people need peace and quiet to FOCUS, so we are told. âHow does Paul do it?â I would over hear some teachers say. In my adult life, I have continued to learn/read/focus in any environment, no matter how noisy or ridiculous is.
The only photo I have as a baby with my biological mum. One of my 3 Mums in my life.
Focus on what you can control
I remember my grandfather telling me many things (he was a very wise man) ⊠saying something to the effect –
âPaul, focus on what you can control ⊠and do the best with what youâve got ⊠donât be part of the problem, always be part of the solutionâ.
Iâve always applied that in my life, not focusing on insufficient resources and constraints .,. But on HOW I can do better with what I have. That philosophy along with many others, has helped me create the life Iâve always imagined and realise short-term and long-term goals.
Growing up in an family environment that had very limited resources (except for love ⊠the home was always infused with LOVE), has allowed me to almost always have an overall attitude of personal optimism and enthusiasm.
I completely understand the psychosomatic relationship – psyche and soma – mind and body ⊠better than most (hence sculpting a Physique worthy of representing Australia at 2 x World Natural Physique Championships and placing in the Top 5 in consecutive years).
I am fully aware of how the body is the physical manifestation of the mind or in other words, the body expresses what the mind is concerned with. Iâm a strong believer that life is many things ⊠and one of which is that life is a self-fulfilling prophecyâŠ. That you usually get what you expect.
My âtoughâ upbringing has allowed me to develop a healthy self-expectancy and eliminated all forms of excuse from my vocabulary as ⊠I expect to win, almost all the time. I have no doubt the so-called âluckâ is the intersection of preparation and awareness.
Leadership ability begins in the home … children learn character building in the home
Be the best character you can be … for YOU, first .. and then for your kids
my two children a number of years ago
Life ⊠a very real game but not a gamble.
I look at life as a very real game .. but not a gamble.
Part of what I have done over the last 3 decades is help people, help themselves build their bridges. I have learned and taught many things. It seems that every individual tends to receive what he or she expects in the long run.
From my experience and deducing from other peopleâs experiences in my life so far ⊠it would appear that you may or may not get what is coming to you, or you may or may not get what you deserve – BUT YOU WILL nearly always get what you expect.
As someone who has mastered the art of body re-engineering (building muscle and reducing body fat to < 4%), believe me when I say, there is an intricately close connection between your mind and body ⊠a negative thought can cause your âlookâ (that you get judged on) to go from excellent (Top 5 and finalist) to awful.
Iâve learned and mastered much of the âmind-body-heart-soulâ interface connections and one important one is this – mental obsessions have physical manifestations. Basically, you BECOME WHAT YOU FEAR – you get what you expect – you are that which you expect to be!
Hereâs the thing – since all individuals are responsible for their own actions and cause their own effects, optimism then, is a choice.
Choose well, my adult friends.
Balance & symmetry brings you closer to harmony … to beauty …closer to infinity. Just like mathematics does
Optimism, Enthusiasm, Faith & Hope.
What is needed is : continual fueling of – OPTIMISM, ENTHUSIASM, FAITH & HOPE.
Each is a synonym for – having a HEALTHY SELF-EXPECTANCY.
So, my question to you (if youâve made it this far) is –
1. Do you have a healthy self-expectancy about things in your life?
2. Do you expect the best for you – in life and as a way of life?
3. Do you look at problems/constraints as opportunities?
With regards to question 3 above, try this little exercise and let me know your answers –
Make a list of your KEY problems/constraints –
> the ones that block your professional and personal fulfillment.
> Next, write a one-or-two sentence definition of each problem/constraint.
Now, rewrite the definition, only this time view it as an opportunity or exercise to challenge your creativity and ingenuity (some refer to it as âre-framingâ).
Hereâs a tip: view the solution as you would if you were advising one of your best friends.
So, where does your thoughts stand in relation to your Self-Expectancy now?
Write in and tell me all about it.
Thank you
Yours in care, compassion & trust,
Paul
A fridge magnet đ§Č I bought almost 20 years ago.
Practise this.
White & Black Lies should be minimised in families.
Withholding Truth
Gâday & Bula & good morning/evening to YOU wherever YOU are in this beautiful planet đ!
I was thinking đ€ about life, as I usually do & the concept of âtruthâ in particular and lies as well as they seem to be two sides of the same coin.
Lying đ€„, we all do it and have done it over the course of our lives so far.
We lie to others & we lie to ourselves. I guess we could split lies up in to two main types:
1. White lies
2. Black lies.
The đalentine tribe (minus our dog 𶠖 Mr Fuzzy/Fussy cuddles. As parents we try to be as truthful to our children.
White Lies & Black Lies.
A black Lie, as I see it, could be defined as a statement we make we know is false. A white lie is a statement that we make that is not in itself false but that leaves out a significant part of the truth.
I think white lies can often be more destructive than black-lying. Think đ about it, we all do it almost every single day of our lives , as we consider white-lying more socially acceptable in many of our relationships because we âdonât want to hurt peopleâs feelings.â
Yet, people complain that their social relationships are generally superficial. Is this the right thing to teach our kids – that, as parents, part of being loving is feeding them heaps of white lies?
Is it right and truly beneficial for the children to not be told the cold truths about matters of life? Should parents continue (& I see this happening every day and have witnessed in many families over the last 3 decades of keen interest) âwhite-lying?â
So, parents tell each other everything but feed their children white lies. For example, that they fought with each other the night before about their relationship, or that their dad resents their grandparents for their manipulativeness & lack of caring over the years or that mum has a medical problem.
Rational behind white lies is – a loving desire to protect & shield their children from unnecessary worries.
This is a hard one âïž as love đ is just too large, too deep even, in my opinion, to be truly understood or measured or limited within a framework of words.
The bible tries to explain what love is but I donât think đ€ or at least I havenât come across a truly satisfactory definition of love.
I know what love is not!
Contrary to what weâve been told , love is not a feeling.(I will elaborate on what l mean another time)
I think love comes down to the desire to nurture oneâs own or anotherâs spiritual growth. And this takes discipline, lots of discipline.
Discipline that needs to be constantly disciplined.
Why has society demonised anger? Why is it that we (especially Men) cannot and not encouraged to âget angry?â This is hammered into men right from when we are toddlers. Why? Why have we only focused on the destructive results of anger?
It is just as much a valid emotion as being happy, sad, excited, joyful etc.
Yes, thatâs right, he has been a great friend. Not a lovey-dovey friend, not a particularly nice friend, far from being a gentle friend. No, anger ⊠is a very, veery very LOYAL friend.
Anger has always been there with and FOR âmeâ. Anger loyalty reminds me with ease when i have betrayed myself enough. It is there to stop anyone or anything from taking advantage of me, beyond what is reasonable.
âReasonable â here would refer to my imaginary boundaries/tolerance limits of certain suffering.
To me, Anger is fuel. This is a KEY aspect of the power of a loyal friend.
Anger,
I love this quote. Increasing your awareness is parameters to having clarity and success in your life.
SEARCH. Become the BEST ‘searcher’ you can be.
One day .. you may find ALL the answers you’re seeking for YOUR questions to give ‘meaning’ to your life.
A wonderful book says –
“Seek and ye shall find;
Ask and ye shall receive.”
True.
This friend loves me.
This friend LOVES ME.
And, I have come to love this friend, all the way back to consciously recognising him when I was about 9 years old.
Yes, it is a form of power⊠a powerful energy. When we feel it, we almost always want yo do something about it – hit someone, throw something, break or smash something, punch a wall or spew out profanities to the person.
Why do we do everything to it ⊠except LISTEN to it. I mean, we are taught to ⊠deny it, bury it, hide it, lie about it, medicate it, ignore it or simply muffle it.
Why donât we just allow ourselves to feel and express it just like we do with other feelings?
Anger not only summons courage, but it points the finger and shows the way⊠an alternative way. To me, anger is a sign of health ⊠good đitality.
Unlike what most of modern societies espouse, I believe anger is a good thing. It means youâre alive. Anger is part of our inner voice ⊠it is meant to be listened to.
Not ignored.
As fuel, we can embrace the energy of anger to turbo-boost our actions to where our anger points us. Hereâs the catch that many struggle with – anger is meant to be ACTED UPON, not ACTED OUT.
Highly likely if youâre one of these, youâll certainly have a healthy relationship with your friend – Anger.
It awakens me.
Re-read that last sentence again. Let it sink in.
Every time I get angry, it reminds me that I am being courageous and expressing something that is pushing me towards my perceived boundaries. Should I tolerate it, extend the boundaries or ⊠resist.
It AWAKENS me.
It is a a tsunami o that annihilates and with that destruction, signals that death đ of our old life. Anger is the springboard that springs you into your new life.
To me, anger is envigorating. It helps INFUSE me with the âessence of lifeâ – đitality!
It is a tool, and like all tools, when used in the appropriate manner, allows you to CREATE something with it. It is not something to MASTER. Anger, instead should be something used as a resource .. to be tapped in to and drawn upon.
For example, I have used my loyal gym training partner & friend – âAngerâ to accomplish record-breaking lifts & intensity in my workouts . He has always been there. He helps me âclimb mountainsâ and achieve small goals in the gym. As a tool, I TRANSMUTE my loyal friend, Anger into the various mediums of Art that I express my love through.
Anger, my loyal friend, has also been the wind under my wings when I need to summon courage to fly.
I cannot live with my loyal friend.
I need him.
Every single day.
Anger, I pray đ that you visit me again. Soon. I need you to fill up my senses. As John Denver sings in his song âAnnieâ –
â
You fill up my senses,
Like a night in a forest;
Like mountains in springtime,
Like a walk in the rain;
You fill up my sensors,
Come fill me again;
Come let me love you,
Let me give my love to you;
Let me drown in your laughter,
Let me die in your arms;
Let me lay down beside you,
Let me always be with you;â
And you should, too.
Embrace your Anger. Make him your friend.
Dance with him. Get to know him again, if you have to.
Let him point and ⊠show you THE WAY.
Thank you
Until next time,
P.
Maybe all the answers to your questions lie within YOU.
Your mind, your consciousness.
Maybe, it is not about seeking answers but simply asking more questions. Maybe questions are asked simply for discussion and debate … to help fuel our capacity to RE-IMAGINE … a better future.
A future that is NOT based on the doors of the past…/ future based on alternate possibilities of the future.
A Future based on the future, not past.
Where has time gone? Ten years went by ⊠.like a blink of an eye. Memories⊠that is all we have ⊠shared memories.
We have many.
The young man and I. Cruising.
He knows he will always have a home.
He has spent his first ten years of his life, with me, his mother and his sister. Spent it in our home .. which is HIS HOME.
I like to think that his home is a place of celebration, a continuous celebration of Life. His home is the place where he can let down his hair and just be, himself. His home is where living happens and laughter rocks the walls.
Iâd like to think that his home is the place where he learns to play, to have fun, to relax, to love and ⊠to pray. Each day in our household is a celebration. Everyday, our Family prayers allows us to reflect on our life so far ⊠with GRATITUDE.
There is an abundance of laughter in his home. So loud that it carries all the way to the streets and neighbours.
Enjoying Kayaking together in Sydneyâs beautiful seas
His home is where Real Living, takes place.
He learns how to work, how to play, how to eat, how to ride in cars together, how to attend Taekwondo lessons, how to play music in bands virtually, how to watch youtubes and videos, how to host friends, how to take care of his self, how To be a better brother, how to be the loving son that he is, how to develop our own private family jokes (usually they love âroastingâ me).
In our home .. his home, we try not to take life too seriously. In our home ⊠a home of celebration we thrive in conversation and accept that humour and laughter is essential elements to our Family cohesion.
Our home ⊠his home ⊠vibrates to us and to everyone around us that âŠ
âThis is what life is all about. In a nutshell, life is what happens in our home ⊠it is where he is celebrated.â
He loves creating stuff. With all kinds of tools.
Home is where âŠ
My son ⊠has his Nintendo game, his soccer and rugby balls, his books, his swords, his toy guns, his snacks.
Home is âŠ. Being able to walk around in his undies all day ⊠home is Eating cold watermelon and tropical pineapple together at the dinner table on a winter day. Home is where he is allowed to yell ⊠to get angry ⊠and it is ok. Home is where he can play wrestle games in the bedroom and backyard and come out of it ⊠unscathed.
Home is where he gets unlimited hugs and kisses and learns about the important things in life. Home is where he learns how to agree to disagree and resolve conflicts.
Home is where he learns to be appreciated and listened to. Home is where his strong sense of self ⊠his powerful self image ⊠his confidence is built. Home is where he understands his responsibilities to contribute to the family to make it work ⊠that little things, matter.
To sum up ⊠I hope my ten year old son learns much ⊠in our home .. his home.
One day, I hope, he would look back and realise that home is where he discovered wonder and learned to not only Dream ⊠but âŠ. To Dream BIG. One day, he remembers to repeat some of ⊠OUR traditions ⊠OUR unique family qwirks ⊠our UNUSUAL ceremonies.
I hope that one day, my son looks back and views his time in his home .. our home as a period where he not only FOUND but âŠ. EXPERIENCED, JOY.
With ⊠his dad (me), his mum, Cathy, his sister, Olivia and our pet schnoodle : “Mr Fussy/Fuzzy Cuddles”.
Until next time,
P.
Can you see âmeâ in my son? Can you see you in your son?
Me (extreme left) with some of my gym friends/pals. The good old days where a gym was also a place for social interaction (as almost no one wore earphones) and loads and loads of fun. I owned and managed a Family Gym for about seven years in the recent past. I saw every member of my gym as an extended family relation with me. I ran my gym business like a family and treated everyone like so. They always knew that I was happy that they came and I knew everyoneâs name. Made wonderful, genuine friends. What an amazing phase of life that was for me ⊠in leading the ship that was my gym.
How would you define a friend? How do you define friendship?
Iâm sure each and every one of us can define friendship or a friend in many ways and they would most often be described in relation to the actions he or she takes with the person or persons.
How would you define what a âtrue friendâ is for you? Do you have friends? What kind of friends? Is Jesus your friend (if you’re a Christian)? Does God call you his friend? What kind of friends do you have? Are you cautious? Are you careful? Are you committed and candid? These are qualities we need to have in true friendship, true friends. Are your real friends luxuries or necessities? How many do you have? What do you think?
What Social Media really ruined is the word âFriendâ and all the meanings behind it. Weâre now calling anyone a âFriendâ without even seeing them or knowing them. Just because they request âfriendâ from you. I mean would you really talk to everyone in your street and call them your âfriend?â
No, I didnât think so.
Happy times in my gym with friends. We had loads of fun … & had time to build muscle too. Some challenging but good times they were.
So, why do you think social media is any different?
Virtual, imaginary (does not apply to Jesus or God) & fake friends ⊠ theyâll never back you up or support you or be real to you.
Theyâll give you fancy names & say nice things âonlineâ but still theyâre not real. Even when you meet some of them in real life, they turn out to be a huge disappointment & yes I canât say all of them⊠but most of them!
To me there is now a âgreyâ area with how people define friend and acquaintance. What would be considered an acquaintance prior to social media is now grouped under the name âfriends.â
Not good. Not realistic.
Itâs like defining what is âgoodâ and saying that everything that is good is actually good, when it may not be. May be not as good and so could be classed as âbad.â Anyways, you know what I mean, I donât want to give an example that is not very applicable.
I know a lot of people have many friends, some hundreds, some hundreds of thousands and even millions for some World Famous Stars. But for what purpose? It is great for marketing and selling products to certain tribes and their targeted tribe/audience. Business, I understand.
I donât have many âfriendsâ on social media.
I choose to do so.
This may be because my definition of a friend differs to many others. Iâm sort of âold-schoolâ in that way. I’ve got a few friends for 40 years (started friendship in kindergarten) and a few more from 30 years ago (Primary School friends) and quite a few in the last 20 years. Then, a few in the last ten years.
Friends, they are truly amazing.
Iâve got some friends that have many friends. Some have thousands of friends actually, according to social media, and wonderful for them. But⊠is it possible that every day brings forth a new proof that most of them are not real.
Zero conversation, zero support, zero common interest & zero giving a fuck.
We need to get back to the real meaning of the word âFriendsâ and wake up to smell the coffee and separate the real from the fake.
Friends from my gym grabbing a bite for dinner. We all need to make sure that we feed those hard-working muscles now. Apply stimulus (weight training), eat adequate nutrition, get quality rest. Repeat. Grow.
We need to adopt some âold schoolâ definitions to some important aspects of human relationships. Definitions that still apply today. Definitions that confirm that what is at stake here and what we are talking about here is not a relationship between computers or other forms of technology.
No!
What we are trying to save or bring back again is the old-fashioned values and principles that are the foundations of human relationships and true friendship or friends is one of them.
So, ask yourself, how many friends do you have? How many real friends, that is. It is important to have friends, yes. Friends listen to what you say and allow you to be yourself. Really good friends also listen to what you ‘don’t say’.
Maybe social media has ruined the idea of a friend forever, maybe it hasn’t. Time will tell I guess but the other question to ask is what else is social media changing at such never before seen pace? What is social media damaging in human relationships that has taken centuries to develop? Are the short-term benefit of accepting this change (simply because it is ‘new technology”) better than the the long-term costs to human relationships? Who has done the ‘risk:benefit ratio’ test on these changes to relationships and societies in general?
Me and a very good friend from University Days … real friendship is a lot of things but two things that are common to them are – time and work/effort.
I wonder?
We are going through a very interesting phase/era of life of unprecedented change. More has changed in the last 50 years than there has in the last 200 years. But should the pace of change of technology be mimicked in other areas of our existence? I’m not sure that is good or ideal. It will bring more harm than good.
It is highly likely the changes we have seen and the pace of change will continue to happen. But at what cost, I wonder? It has already sneaked in under our noses and changed the way we view a very big and important aspect of our individual lives: a friend.
30 years later … still great mates with the first friend I friended on my first day of lectures doing my first University Science Degree. Meeting up for a coffee and chat is something we do quite regularly. Talk about business, family and self – matters. Because it matters.
What else is changing ‘under our noses’ that we are not aware of because we are ‘too busy’ trying to exist and coming to grips with the pace of change as it is? I wonder? Who know where we are headed? Can any person ‘see’ the future impact of all these accepted unprecedented rapid changes? People make predictions on the stock market and shares and property values but is anyone forecasting the costs to individuals and societies and countries of all the magnitude and speed of change? I guess we are already seeing it: the huge growth of mental illness in the last 20 years… the fastest growing illness known to man-kind today. Maybe this is just a symptom of something greater to come …
I don’t like saying that ‘time will tell’ because being “pro-active” is far better than the very common “reactive’ nature humans and societies in general have become today. Isn’t prevention better than cure? Oh well, like most things in life, saying and doing can be worlds apart… and it is probably easier (not cheaper) to cross the bridge when we get there aye?
But, I still wonder?
All the best to you and your friendships.
Until next time,
Best of Vitality to you.
The old Captain Viking Pirate Fiji Island Muscle Monk
My Family of friends in my gym I owned and managed for 7 years.
Ex-Australian Wallaby Captain – Phil Waugh performing a set of squats. What goes up must come down. A possible definition of a squat. Summarises most things in life. It could also symbolically represent the ups and downs of an equal friendship. Each person understands the boundaries of the relationship just like there are limits to a squatting range of motion.
I believe in friendship â equal friendship.
Who do you consider your âfriendâ at this point in your life? Your partner, wife, husband? Your high school or university friend? Do you have hundreds of friends or just a few with many acquaintances?
I can honestly say that my best friend at this point in my life is my beautiful wife, a friendship that has lasted fifteen years and counting. There are also many friendships that have been in existence for various lengths of time. You would have the same too. For example, I have friendships that started all the way from kindergarten (over 37 years ago) all the way to a few current friends.
You may have many people in your life you consider friends. In this day and age where the definition of âfriendsâ can mean what we have on facebook, a friend could mean something else to you. Some people pride themselves on the number of friends they have. There are many definitions. Fair enough.
In my fourty years on this earth so far, I have experienced many types of friendships and one thing has stood out: You donât need to be a friend to everyone. Understanding this will help you âmanage your funnel betterâ.
Itâs just not possible to spread yourself equally with all your friends or so-called friends. Friendship, genuine friendship takes time and effort. Most of you reading this would agree.
We donât have to look very far for a decent model. If you are a Christian, letâs remind ourselves of the model say, Jesus, adopted. He preached to, healed and helped thousands of people but he only had twelve disciples. How many of these close disciples did he invite when he was transfigured on the mountain?
Only three! You could say that he had only three genuine friends.
Loading the ‘guns’ with proper execution. Here Brad is building his ‘mind-muscle’ connection under my watchful eye.
I recall seeing only two very good friends of my grandfather in his last few years of his life. They came around our home a few times a week just to sit and talk and reminisce of the âold daysâ. They were friends for over fifty years. I witnessed the beauty of very close, genuine friendship. It was truly a thing of beauty.
However, it was only after my grandfather passed away that I truly understood what I had observed.
With only 86,400 seconds in a day, you cannot possibly relate to every one of your friends in an equal fashion. Donât stress if you arenât. It all depends on the phase of life youâre in and the philosophy you adopt. Because of the finiteness of life, it is wise not to waste your precious friendship time on relationships that wonât be productive.
Donât mis-understand me now. It is ok to lend a helping hand to a needy person but it is another to develop a friendship. Like I said, friendship takes time and hard work. It doesnât JUST HAPPEN. In the case of the needy person, you could consider it as social work or community service or spiritual caring.
However, with a genuine friend, you and your friend will share and give equally to each other. You both get fulfilment and nourishment from being in the relationship.
For simplicity letâs break life up in to three categories to refer to relationships:
People whom you nourish and who return little or nothing to you
People who nourish you, but you may return nothing to them
Genuine and equal sharing relationships.
All three categories vital to your existence but I donât believe the first two of the three types of relationships are friendships. The third type or category is what I refer to as real friendship. You must be strong and aware enough to distinguish between them. Mixing them up could cause problems.
It is important to reflect on your philosophy regarding life and the choices you make with regards to investing in certain relationships. What is needed is discernment and making the all important choice of taking some of these relationships to the level of genuine friendship.
Friendship that lasts because it is built on equality.
Hereâs my little formula for friendship: Equal friendship = Genuine friendship.
Your âfriendsâ can have a big influence on where you end up in life. Increase your awareness and seek equality and authenticity.
Choose well.
All the best!
Until next time,
Retired rugby legend: Ex-Australian Wallaby & Waratahs Champion Captain & True Leader – Phil Waugh. Setting his own standards of excellence in all areas of his life, following my framework. Champions like Phil help us recognize that he believes in sacrifice and dedication to higher principles – higher standards. AWaken yours today towards THE BEST YOU CAN BE with one of my programs!
Changing lives. Empowering people. One life at a time. 
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