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A Poem for all the Men who have committed suicide

De-clutter your brain of all that noise built up from early childhood clouding your thoughts.
Delete and stop contributing to the bottom-line of ‘bullshit’
Work on managing your funnel better.
Know your limits.
Seek help before it is too late.
As a great book says –
“Seek and ye shall find;
Ask and ye shall receive”
Now do.

 

That LAST WEEK – a poem

Oh, the Old Young – Guy went to his Club,

On the Thursday Night like he had always done;

It is Bingo Night in the nearby Pub,

But he knows where to go to have some fun.

This night was different for his friends were acting like a fool,

But they should have listened as that last week,

They were just focused on being cool.

 

He put on his finest clothing to show ALL,

Trying to express himself in a positive light that last week.

He had the biggest smile and was wearing the best flowery shirt in the fall.

For he was there that last week,

Thing is …

No one noticed him being there that last week.

 

The week before that last week

He went for a long drive, he made a start,

He wanted to talk to someone that would listen the week before that last week,

Which didn’t eventuate – he was dying of a broken heart;

But this old middle-aged guy was ok the week before that last week,

They said he bought drinks for his supposed friends at the bar ..

The week before that last week.

 

So, I asked his so-called friends and family,

That saw him the week before that last week,

If they had dined with him and knew him true,

And they said, jokingly – “Of course, what a freakin’ freak!”;

But there wasn’t a soul I spoke to

That was aware that Old Young man was feeling very blue;

 

With hindsight if they had taken the time to lend their ears,

He may still be around here this week,

Getting rid of all his insecurities, self-doubt, sadness and fears!

And not disappeared off the face of the earth in that golden moment, that last week.

What if?

Amen.

– Paul e 💝alentine-

________________________

 

Find the light …
Follow the light …
The light will show you the way ..
Out of the abyss.
Believe.

Over the years, this Old Cap’n Viking Pirate has lost a few friends to suicide. It is painful for all concerned – the person that ends his life and those that he leaves behind, but dare I say, there is also joy, depending on what view you take. You could debate on whether such an act is good/bad … right /wrong but at the end of the day, we come in to this world, alone and leave, alone.

May God bless all those Men who have taken their lives for whatever reason they felt justified it. To all Men reading this and to all Men out their going through tough times and can’t see through the darkness, I pray that you make the right decision for you.

Hang in there. You will climb out of the abyss. It will get better. Trust me, I know it will.

You are not alone, God is always there with you.

Follow the light … the light is there .. to once again fill the darkness that is suffocating you right now. Head towards the light and you will find peace.

 

Rest in peace.

 

The old Cap’n Viking Pirate Evangelist Muscled Monk … support of one of Mens’ growing despairs

Reach out and …
Touch somebody.
By your kind words, your hugs and kisses … or your simple smile.
Reaching out may just save someone from their abyss …
and bring them towards the light.
Their light.
Be the oxygen to the flame that fuels the light … to someone’s remaining life.

Have no doubt.
Help yourself first.
God will meet you half way …
he ALWAYS does.
All you ahve to do is: BELIEVE.

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What takes Leaders from “Good” to “Great”

My son’s depiction of a Pirate 🏴‍☠️ 3 years before I recommenced wearing a bandana after retiring it for almost 15 years
How did he know?

The Biggest Decision 

I once started a speech on the first day of a course I was teaching on “leadership” many years ago to a group of senior managers by asking them what lay at the heart of their job.

I waited.

Then someone yelled out –

Making decisions!”

The others agreed – “yes, taking decisions!”

“Ok, I said … this is a three day course , why don’t you all come tell me on the last day and share with everyone what your biggest decisionof the week was and we’ll discuss it”

On the last day, the senior manager that first spoke on day one, embarrassingly said-

“ I thought about it and … I didn’t actually take anything that could be considered a big decision “

It was interesting but the other managers also agreed that they hadn’t taken anything that would be classed as a “big decision “

“Was it an odd week, then?” I asked them

NO. It was a typical week.

The old Captain Viking Pirate 🏴‍☠️ ⚔️Enjoying a beer 🍺 in a hot 🥵 spring day here in Sydney Australia 🇦🇺

The importance of good, well-run systems

As I sit here in one of my local pubs enjoying the Rugby 🏉World 🌍Cup games with beer 🍺, I reflect on my experience and think 🤔

We all have 86,400 seconds in a day.

What and how we use those seconds for matters. Time is all we have and all we’ll really have while we are breathing. Good, well-run systems saves time (due to efficiencies and effectiveness controls built into the systems).

If time = $,

Then …

Saving time = saving $

I spent about ten years of my life working as a Risk Consultant for Major multinationals. A big part of what I did was learn all their key systems and compared them to world best practices and wrote up detailed reports /recommendations for senior leaders and boards for their large multinationals. 

Sometimes the comparison was relevant, and sometimes it wasn’t.

I enjoyed this and many parts of the many hats 🧢I wore when dealing with these high-paying and high-demanding clients. What I found was that corporations that had well designed and well-run systems in place were great for senior leaders.

Those that didn’t have these key systems running smoothly and/or didn’t have the desire or inclination to implement improvements to their existing key 🔑systems, spelled disaster for the poor leaders put in charge. In a lot of cases, these poor leaders were actually much better as leaders than the lucky leaders that were put in charge of companies that had systems that were “well-oiled”/well-run systems.

I learned many things in my experience with these medium sized & large corporations. They learned a lot from me & my recommendations for improvement too. That ultimately impacted in their bottom-line improvement goals.

Here’s one key & relevant thing:

When it comes to leaders and leadership, a well-run system or processes make life much easier for them – the leaders.

The truth as I see it is : Leaders don’t truly or only , or even mostly, take decisions in well-run systems. They’re simply lucky and if they have most of the other competencies and behavioural traits that good leaders need to have, they will be held up in high regard.

It doesn’t matter where – in the corporate environment or on the sporting field or in the family home. Well-run systems gives the leaders the freedom to NOT make big decisions.

Wonderful insight in to the mind of a Great Leader

What do great leaders do that make them better than the “good leaders”

I’ve met and read a lot of and about good leaders in all walks of life – business, church, sports, human relationships etc

I’ve also met great leaders and from my experience.

What separates the great leaders from good leaders?

Well, firstly, we’ve established that leaders DO NOT have all the answers but always see a problem as an opportunity to find a solution.

Let us ask – what does a great leader do?

Good leaders spend quite a bit of time picking the people who pick the people who do make the decisions. Yep, that is what “good” leaders do.

And that is fundamentally what makes them a good leader.

There was a friend & board member of one ☝️of the largest Insurance Companies in Australia 🇦🇺& the world 🌎training in my family gym.

My family gym that I owned and managed for 7 years of my life.

He was the husband of an existing client of mine. A lovely guy, very straight up and very astute. Was part of his job of “making decisions” for the direction of the corporation. His area was Corporate Risk & Compliance.

I asked him once – “what do you do… what do you spend your time doing?”

He said (his name was Roger) –

“I spend a lot of time picking the people who pick the people who do make the decisions.”

I said –

“Oh, ok!”

He said that he spent a lot of time picking the Heads of departments or divisions and then … waited five years.

“Alright” I thought 💭, so that is interesting. But what if you did not have five years? We’ll leave that question for another time.

So, to me, good leaders spend quite a bit of their time making decisions , important but trivial decisions in the whole scope of the game they’re playing (business or sport or religion…)

That’s well and good for “good leaders” but what makes a “great leader “ I thought 💭

Beauty comes in many forms.
Great leaders stand tall and deliver
Great Leaders find their truth … their beauty and effectively communicate it
Here I am with my beautiful Schnoodle “Mr Fuzzy Cuddles” and the Sydney Harbour Bridge.
I just love beauty. Brings you closer to the elusive truths you search for in you life.
Truths that ultimately eliminate your ignorance.
Keep searching I say, never let the curiosity within you die.

The Great Leader is simply, Great Dreamers

GREAT Leaders don’t spend their time picking people. No, Great Leaders – Of Countries, of large corporations, of religions …. they don’t spend their time making trivial (but important decisions)

No

Great 👍Leaders truly and authentically LEAD.

They have a way with communicating their message. 

Their VISION.

They understand that the human brain 🧠works best with images … with their imagination.

They are GREAT at communicating their message /vision clearly, concisely and consistently.

They manage those “3 Cs “ better than anyone else , better than the just “good leaders”.

So, I have found that Great Leaders –  Sporting Captains if teams, Chairmen or Presidents it Prime Ministers if countries etc …. they are very effective at communicating their mission/message.

But not just communication masters, no, more importantly, they are Masters at re-packaging old products and selling them differently.

Yep, they are great effective communicators because they put old facts into new bottles, they dream up new names for problems , they imagine new possibilities… of re-painting an old picture /problem.

They are great at re-conceptualising the familiar so that new solutions pop up! They simply ask a different and RIGHT question.

True.

Great Leaders are Adapt at listening to their intuition 

Dreamers change the world 🌎 and are adapt at listening to their intuition when making decisions.

Great Leaders are Born, not made. Some would like to argue otherwise but it is a losing argument from all angles.

There are many over the centuries and since man kept records.

One such great leader is – Mahatma Gandhi. He turned a resistance movement from active to passive. As a result , he made it invincible.

Former US President- John Kennedy was similar – was not a great decision maker by any means but was a Master at selling his dream, his imagination of a better nation … of a better world.

There are many others but not as many as good leaders. The latter at outnumbers the former, 1000,000: 1.

The world needs more Great Leaders but why doesn’t the many Top Management schools worldwide churn them out? Why don’t the Best Business Schools train more and create more Great Leaders?

Can we produce these types of leaders?

History suggests not.

But this is exactly what nations need, what Champion sporting teams need. it is what humans really desire in Leaders.

I fear though, that, based on the lack of frequency of great leaders over history, business schools and education institutions can only produce a little, if it is actually there.

I believe Great Leaders are Born, they are not made. Good leaders can be created/trained/made but will never be great.

Amen 🙏

Learn from Jesus, he was a Great Failure. A Great example of a Great Leader

If you wrote out Jesus CV, I think 🤔it would read like a failure … a huge failure.

Jesus was a Big Failure , yep, just like you and me.

Yep, he fucked up in many ways then you and I and everyone we know put together.

He failed – yes, but did he change the world 🌎– a BIG YES!

What was great about him ? Despite his history of not making decisions and giving very few commands and despite actually doing very little, he was GREAT.

And why?

How did this guy, dreamer change the world 🌎? How did this man with wild imagination do it?

Well, we now know that he was a Master of “painting the same picture” but with a different coat, different and better, kore appealing colours .

He was clear on his vision, his powerful imagination & intuition and was a Master as communicating that message to his followers

Clearly, Concisely and Consistently.

He was a great failure but was the Master at the 3 Cs. Made him one of the Greatest of all Great Leaders that ever walked the face of this earth.

There’s Hope for us All

If Jesus, one ☝️of, if not, the greatest leader that ever lived had a CV that read like a failure, there is hope for us all. Ok, maybe not you, but I know and believe there is hope for me and people like me. 

Re-tell your story with a different brush and paint the same picture with different colours. Re-package the same product in better, more appealing ways just like the hugely successful KFC does.

Simply , consistently communicating their message/core product (fried chicken & fries) in new packages.

Become the Master of re-packaging you, your product, the same old message in different bottles.

It’s worked for centuries and it will work today.

So, there’s hope for us all – for the rest of us. It is not our dull CV that will be remembered but the stories and pictures we re-package and tell others.

Bare your cross.
Then …
Help someone else carry their’s … only if you can manage both

The Unsung Heroes 🦸‍♂️

There are many unsung heroes out there… you may be one, I’m certain of it.

Find your voice, your strengths, then …

Lead.

With authenticity, with conviction and with Vitality and …. know that not all heroes wear capes

Most heroes are unsung and unappreciated and are normal guys and girls just like you and me

That’s ok

thats just life

 

cheers & ahoy!

The old Captain Viking Pirate 🏴‍☠️ ⚔️Muscled 💪monk 🤔😎🦸‍♂️

Me and my family of extended family of members.
I created an environment to replace something I was missing living in a busy, big city like Sydney: the intimacy and connectedness of a truly local and extended family feel that I grew up with in my youth in Fiji.
I missed my éxtended family’ and this served my needs and the members needs too

To lead is to inspire
To help create new leaders
To truly lead is to truly love 💕 unselfishly
I had a family gym that was predominantly male (70%) for about 7 years. I encouraged the men to speak freely and communicate all their feelings and we shared stories and helped one another through tough emotionally difficult phases of life. What a wonderful group of ‘post-feminite new age males’.

  1.  

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I am GOD.

Where is heaven? Where is God? What if God is in you all this time? What if you are God? How would that change your view of life? Maybe God is light … maybe we are essentially light as Physics stipulates … then , follow your light. Find your light and … then, shine that light to the world!

Need to eliminate ignorance

What does “God” mean to you? Who is God to you? Have you pondered about the meaning of God?

I have. For many, many years now.

I grew up in a strict extended catholic family household. Going to mass every Sunday was a must and I spent about eight years of my youth serving as an alter boy, assisting the priests serve the patrons of the church.

I’ve always believed there was a God. I still do.

He has answered many of my prayers. However, I have always been curious and this curiosity still exists and has gotten me in to more than a little trouble in my youth and this hasn’t changed. I had and still have a need to eliminate ignorance.

I question almost everything because I am constantly searching, searching for my truth. To some extent, I believe every individual is – searching for beauty, their truth. But, many individuals also do not think, do not question everything. Why should they? I mean, it is easier to just adopt and follow what has come before … “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!” as we have heard many times growing up.

This attitude of just blindly following all that have come before us may be good in the short term but can be disastrous in the long-term. This attitude of just following blindly, also applies to religions. I mean a lot of people think that because their parents, grandparents, doctors and religious elders were all Christians, then ALL those beliefs about GOD must be true.

Fill your life with light.
Light your path through your life.
Light the dark for you … for others.
keep seeking your light


What if?

What if it isn’t?

What if what we’ve been told about this God is not what the truth is? Once again, let me ask you what is YOUR meaning of your perception of “God”? This word, name could be one of the most mis-understood, mis-interpreted concepts in the history of man-kind. What do you think?

What if God rests inside each and every one of us? What if I said that I AM GOD!

Yep, you can be forgiven if you yelled out ‘blesphemy!’

But seriously, what if what we know of God is not the truth? Asking questions, asking the right questions helps us gain wisdom, helps us absorb knowledge. Asking the right questions and always questioning and seeking the truth has helped us evolve and progress and enjoy the spoils of the standard of living we all enjoy now.

The whole foundation of science is based on questioning ‘truths’ that have gone before and dis-proving it. Why aren’t we applying this questioning attitude to all areas of our lives? Why don’t we apply this to your/my current meaning of the word God.

I think I am/you are – God!

One way to know YOU is to understand God.
God is in you.
God is you.

G.O.D

In greek mythology, I think the word “G.O.D” stands for:

G: Gomer – which means ‘wisdom’ = > the manifestation of knowledge, like our bodies is the manifestation of our mind.

O: Oz – which means ‘strength’ => represents our physical being – our structure, our core.

D: Dabar – which means ‘beauty’ => something that gives pleasure, visual pleasure!

So, it seems that God rests in the physical realm, the physical world, in this third dimension – the world ‘within’ each and every one of US.

To chart our course in life, in the tree of life, we all need wisdom to make wise decisions; we need strength to support and give support where needed and lastly, we need beauty to see truth. As Keats said –

“Truth is beauty and beauty, truth. That is all there is … and all there is to know” or something to that effect.

Believe or not believe.
What is true is that … you are light.
Shine your light strongly.

Is God a frequency?

I have learned that popular belief DOES NOT EQUAL TRUTH.

Is God a frequency?

What if GOD is a frequency that exists within YOU, within me … within each and every one of us. What if when we pray and meditate we literally just ‘tune in’ to our unique frequency with GOD. How effective we communicate depends on how well tuned in we are to that frequency.

God is the light. You are the light. Find your light Find God. In you.

What is your frequency? Does it tune to God?

GOD is a frequency that exists within YOU. But what is your frequency? Is it connected to God’s frequency? Can you TUNE IN?

You should tune in. That is, if you desire to find your beauty, your truth.

Search for answers. Be sceptical and think with reason.

But, also search with your heart. Maybe, you won’t find all the answers and that is ok. What is important is to continue to ask the right questions and embrace the quality of answers that resonate with you.

Than resonate with God’s frequency.

Work on fine-tuning your musical instrument (your body-mind-soul-heart connection).

Helping someone achieve his best, in one of the best ways I know how: through increasing self-awareness.
Vv.

Upload to heaven but also upgrade when you’re there

What if heaven is a really powerful mainframe computer and we are the individual personal computers (pcs) connected to this extensive network. All we have to do is make our ‘connection’ to the mainframe computer (heaven) more stronger.

Tune in to the right frequency.

Maybe, just maybe, in the future, with increased awareness of ourselves and the power that rests within us – GOD, we are able to upload ourselves, our mind in to the mainframe (heaven) and be ONE WITH the UNIVERSE.

Life is a series of well-defined journeys.
Life is a series of goals
Life is goals on a never-ending path to …
salvation.

Becoming one with collective consciousness

If we were ‘uploaded’ to a heaven, it would allow us to become immortal. But that is just the beginning. In this virtual world, this heaven, we could beautify and strengthen our bodies simply by reprogramming the computer software to improve our minds, not our bodies.

We won’t only upload ourselves to heaven, but also upgrade when we’re there!

As a Christian, we get taught that the immortal soul does not lack a body in heaven. But, I am willing to miss that point with the overall satisfaction that going to heaven is about union with God.

Entering a new spiritual plane, the fourth dimension and being inside the great computer mainframe in the sky would allow us to mingle our frequencies, our lines of code to form a ‘hive mind’, thus becoming one with collective consciousness.

That is when all suffering as we know it will dissipate, finally dissolve the distinction between self and others that lies at the root of all suffering and evil.

Consciousness will be you, me, us … all as ONE.

The unity of all … to be one … possessing an unearthly wisdom, like a God where, this consciousness, this one-ness will find spiritual sustenance in our union with each other.

YOU linked to me linked to each and every one of us as we are now …. Only a million times more powerful.

Linked to consciousness … the great super mainframe computer in the sky we call –

Heaven.

God bless you … in other words, You bless you. As God is within you … you are God.

I am God. Too.

If you believe.

 

Cheers & ahoy!

The old Cap’n Viking Pirate … & being ONE, heaven and consciousness

Providing a little bit of assistance. My pupil here ‘feeling the essence’ of the exercise.
All relationships require work and time .
Sometimes, its the little things, that determine your success in pursuit of a worthwhile goal. No need to work so hard in the gym to beautify our bodies in the virtual world. In heaven. In consciousness.

A little bit of assistance goes a long way to knowing what is enough.
You do this by knowing firstly, what is MORE THAN ENOUGH. But, this is a limitation of the realm we live in … where limits are imposed on us. In the 4th dimension, in heaven … the “IM” is taken out of impossible.

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Your thoughts and feelings (attitude) affect your performance and results in life.

Me, some of my quirks (showing off my muscles, posing at every and any opportunity and my desire to ‘over’ dress than to ‘under’ dress. In this case, a perceived “mis-match “ Of clothing items. Also, my quirk of love for dogs (and in particular, my pirate dog) and animals in general.

This is true for many things in life.

Matter of fact, your attitude heavily impacts on your performance in sport and life, in general.

Winning. I love winning, who doesn’t?

Winning in life stems from a winning attitude. Full stop!

Your attitude toward your potential is either the key to or the lock on the door of personal fulfilment.

Most of you are aware of this.

Getting control of my thoughts helped me …. reject the economic disadvantages I faced in my youth growing up in a developing country such as the Fiji Islands and this allowed me to enter a world where self-esteem and the esteem of others were abound.

There were also a lot of advantages: Fijians and Fijian Culture is very affirmative always uplifting. Not derogatory and ‘down-putting’ from a very young age, like so many western societies. Fijians are a very loving and caring and compassionate race, it’s in their/our blood. Fijians are very strong believers and very hard workers that don’t make whinging a part of their lingo. They also know when to take a rest.

Fijians love wearing flowers (wearing beauty of nature … & skirts) and understand how to ‘relax’.
If you want to learn how to relax and ‘slow down’ from your busy lifestyle and mind … just go to Fiji or speak to a Fijian.
They will give you tips on happiness that could change your life for the better.
Learn to be on “Fiji Time” when appropriate.

The decision and desire to change me for the Better attracted other like-minded/energy persons/champions in to my realm and me in to theirs. The collaboration (short and long) built a formidable team of many things but one thing bonded all: LOVE.

Every thought and act was done out of love, not hate.

Read that last line again. That is one of the keys to your fulfillment. Love.

How did I get to 2 x World Top 5 World Natural Classical Physique Bodybuilding Champion and be one of the BEST in my sport in the world? What helped me win?

Vv – wearing the last beanie I got ordered many years ago
And what does the “Vv” stand for? “❤️alentine ❤️itality “ of course.
Out for a park run /sprints with my Mr Fuzzy/Fussy Cuddles

I can and I will share with you, through storytelling, how a boy born in the small paradise and friendly islands of Fiji went all the way to stand on stage in New York, USA and beating the best in the world.

Many things contributed to me achieving my goals of being one of the best in the world in my chosen sport.

We are more alike than you think.

Two key things that got me there was desire and getting control of my thoughts: My Attitude.

My ability to think Champion Thoughts and feel Champion Feelings and my never-ending pursuit to éliminate ignorance (some people call this curiosity) ultimately resulted in my two World Championships, representing Australia. This fuelled my work and how hard and smart I worked every single day leading up to the Big Day, when I got to stand on the world stage in New York, USA and compete against the best from countries around the world.

Achieving a well-balanced physique should be understood for what it is: a masterful fusion of art and science.
One should improve once’s “BODY Smart”knowledge. this takes time and deliberate practise.
Top 5 in the world, two years in a row at a sport I love ain’t too shaby for an city boy from the beautiful paradise islands of Fiji
If YOU think you can and you BELIEVE YOU CAN … YOU CAN. WIth God by your side, you have NO DOUBT.

You’re a champion too, in more ways than one. Believe it so.

Here’s 3 reasons why I believe a Champion is in you, if you don’t already think so:

1)  Because you acknowledge the help of others – knowing you could never have got this far in life and do what you do – ALONE.

2)  Because you aim high – understanding that the quality of the goals you choose influences your character.

3)  Because you never give up – knowing that true ability comes only through persistence and consistency.

There are other reasons why I believe you are a champion, like, maybe you consistently give of yourself to other freely. This compassionate act is a champion act, fuelled by a champion feeling and champion thought.

You could probably list many more. Ultimately, winning is a way of thinking – a way of life.

Feel your emotions.
Think through and with your heart.
Listen to your íntuition

Mastering your Mind, controlling your thoughts.

Everyone knows they’re supposed to ‘be positive’ – to think positively, and to discourage negativity. Yet for so many people thoughts just seem to ‘happen’ before they know about it!

Thoughts don’t JUST happen – you think them!

YOU choose your thoughts.

Here’s the thing –

Learn the skills to take control of your mind, your thoughts. Before it is too late.

True?
Neuroscience is still at the level of where medicine was in the 1700s
A long way to fully understand who we are….
Who “I AM.”

Participate and compete in the game of life, don’t be a spectator!

Are you a ‘spectator in the game of life?”, like the majority of humans who watch life happens as bystanders.

They avoid the main arena for fear of being – rejected, ridiculed, hurt or defeated. They prefer not to make waves or get involved and would rather watch it happen on tv ( I don’t watch tv by the way .. haven’t for many years).

Most of all, I believe the spectators in life fear winning. You see, after helping thousands of people over the last 3 decades I have found that it is not losing that humans fear the most … it is the possibility of winning!

After all, winning carries the burden of responsibility and for setting a good example. That is too much for many and so … they sit back and watch other to their thing.

Don’t!

Be the winner that YOU are …. That YOU were born to be!

Winners set and achieve goals which not only benefit themselves, but more importantly, benefits others.

 

Practise thinking winning thoughts.

Winning is ALL in the ATTITUDE!

Not aptitude … attitude is the criterion of success.

You see, people can buy many things … cars, houses, businesses, people … but what they cannot buy is Attitude. You couldn’t buy attitude for a million dollars.

Remember this: Attitudes are not for sale.

Winning is no more than one’s personal pursuit of individual excellence.

Don’t forget, you don’t have to get lucky to win in life, and/or do you have to knock people down or gain at the expense of others.

No … winning is taking the talent or potential you were born with, and have since developed, and using it fully toward a goal or purpose that makes you happy. If you don’t, no one else will because no one else cares.

Feel and practice feeling good positive, winning thoughts

My grandfather always told me that Talent is Cheap. You can buy it, and recruit it. It’s everywhere. “But son” he says … “the world is also full of talented alcoholics.”

Education is not cheap, but it’s for sale and for hire if you have the time and money.

It seems people are still trying to get their BS, MBA or PhD in droves instead of investing in taking care of their attitude. People are still hanging their multiple diplomas on their office walls.

They don’t realise that their attitude is the thing that is their most priceless possession. This all fundamentally depends on their ability to sustainably control their thoughts.

To control their mind.

But as I remember my grandfather saying before he passed away –

Son, the world is also full of educated derelicts, unable to relate to supportive roles with others.”

He instilled the importance of having the right attitude, in me, from a very young age.

Education qualifications can be bought and most other things. But Attitudes are not for sale.

Read that last line again.

Attain the right attitude. That makes YOU Happy.

Are you happy?

Choose the right attitude.

All the best in your choice.

Cheers & Ahoy!!!

 

The old Captain Viking Pirate ….. & attitude … and control and … the mind

Champions practise a lot of visualisation and simulation.
To create magic, you need to fuse the worlds of sanity (where you are) with insanity (where you dream/imagine you are, before you are).
That is difficult.
That is one of the key keys.
Don’t stop. Trying. Believing.
Keep on … keeping on. You’ll get there. Everyone always does.
Especially, if you do it with your heart. and ….
with LOVE.

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Substitute Parents.

The old Captain Viking Pirate & his Gritty Warrior Viking Pirate son … enjoying some ‘Father-son” experience.
These moments get etched into the memory bank of great experiences.
Build these up.

What’s on my mind right now?

Kids and being a parent.

Come into my head as I think and type to you my thoughts … (my typing speed is very, very fast … and I don’t look at the keys on the keyboard and type with very high accuracy … anyway)

What does it mean to ‘love’ your kids?

We all have our own definitions of this word and area of love. Good. I think loving your kids, means, in part, that you put them ahead of other concerns in your life (at appropriate phases of life – different for a man and a woman).

You see, what I have seen and observed (being in the gym talking to thousands of parents over the years … and actually owning a gym for 7) … what I have seen is that too many parents are caught up in getting ahead in their careers or that promotion. Or better still … buying a bigger house or playing golf every weekend or buying that expensive car.

I find that they devoted so much energy to those things that they failed to free up the time necessary to really listen to their kids and just ‘be’ with them. Not to be with them when you schedule in to make ‘quality time‘ with them in your busy diary …. no, just to be with them.

It’s no wonder kids are so angry. Their parents aren’t giving them the love and attention they deserve.

I believe if kids don’t see their parents making certain sacrifices in order to work at being good parents, or if they already tried to talk to their parents and have been shut up by them, then they aren’t going to keep trying. They’ll either seek out another adult (as substitute parents) who will listen to them or they will buy into whatever youth culture is telling them to do.

Note: don’t “palm off parental responsibility “ to so-called “coaches” in sport clinics, games clinics etc. not everyone wants to and can be a top sportsman/woman. That is a fact of life. One of the mum’s at Zachary’s Athletics club said to me in our initial meeting that she joined her son in the athletics club to learn how to be confident. She did this because she was told that that was what the ‘other parents’ were doing.

I said that was a misperception.

I told her that the best place to learn confidence and integrity and honesty and care and compassion is in the home. From her, the kid’s parent. Not at some substitute parental course (that was over-and above the skill level of the young coaches employed to teach sport skills … not life skills. They were not qualified Life Coaches, most hadn’t experienced much life yet!).

Give him the scaffolding in your son’s life to help him, help himself build & live a life of significance. With a foundation of good etiquette/manners.

You don’t learn self-confidence and have a healthy self-esteem from school or taking part in sport. You learn confidence and all the intangible traits of a well-adjusted citizen in the home. In a loving home with parents making themselves available. That is where I learned my confidence from … confidence large enough to be the BEST in my sport and compete against the best in the World at two World Natural Bodybuilding Championships. I didn’t learn this off substitute parents. I learned it off family, very close family. I learned how to be a Champion from Champions in my family, and guidance from some very good teachers.

Parents continuously not ‘being there’ for their children when necessary is one of the reasons the rate of sexually transmitted diseases – and the rate of teen pregnancy – is very high (and still rising).

Kids are not being loved by their parents (because parents make selfish choices & employers/organisations that don’t support flexible working ideas) …. so these kids accept a cheap substitute. To these kids (to many kids and this has been happening for generations) … it’s better to accept a substitute than to face the hurt of NOT receiving love from their parents.

If you have kids … make the RIGHT choice. For them, for you … and your future relationship with them.

In the years running my gym I have helped many teenage kids (where parents have tried everything) get back on their Life-Track. I have seen “A” students end up with the wrong crowd and end up in jail. I have seen delinquent students and failing students turn their lives around and are now successful business people.

Learning and absorbing our habits every single day of their initial phase of their lives is what our young Princes do.
Teach them well.

I have helped hundreds of kids, help themselves find their best /better selves. I have loved them and gave them that substitute love they never got from their parents. Simply because I cared.

I love mathematics … and I sum it up this way:

Less love and time given to your children in their young years (before 10) …. EQUALS ===> more time spent getting them out of trouble in their teenage years. There is an inverse relationship.

It costs parents more in time, money and heartache and pain in future years.

Make time NOW … before it is too late.

Don’t make the mistake many (previous generations made). There is Power in Two (your partner/wife/husband) and work together to manage the all-important time and love to your growing children.

It will be one of the best and most important investment decisions you will ever make in your life (more than that promotion or that business deal or )…. just like making time to ‘work/train’ your muscles … not just for now … but for your future/old age.

All the very best in your decision

Yours always, in iron and muscles,

Cheers & Ahoy!!

 

The old Captain Viking Pirate … and loving kids … and making the Right decision

A ‘sick day’ from school day for us here, 4 years ago now.
Enjoying the entertainment at Sydney’s beautiful Luna Park.
I never let schooling interfere with my or my family’s education.

Building a good foundation for your childrens’ character is like building good lean quality muscle.
It takes time and patience. Lots of patience but laser-like focus.
Proper exercise techniques and application of relevant principles , compounded over time results in the goal you visualise.
An morally-upright, free-thinking citizen of the world putting his/her hand up to lead if necessary.
As parents, be the best teacher you can be.

Me in my cowboy hat & enjoying a beer (still training my ‘guns’ … drinking my beer)

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Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde

I ask God to help me be the man my son hopes to be when he is older.
I’m far from perfect but I get up and try every single day … to be the man I want him to be.
And I have no doubt he will … because I have God on my side/in my corner.

Men.

We’re interesting creatures.

Simple, yet complex.

I like to refer to us all, as the simple-complex man, individually.

Women, do you agree?

Mens’ needs are simple. I grew up in an large extended family and I heard a lot of things said by many different people I lived with during my first 12 years of my life. One thing I heard one of the older women was –

“the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.’

When I reflect on that now, there is a partial truth, actually more than just a partial truth in that statement. You see, men need a few basic needs (like being fed with warm, proper nutrition) and we’re satisfied. Well, I think most Real Men would be. I also think that men, Real Men, are torn between two extremes, like a Dr Jekyll and Hyde or Harvey Two Face from the DC Universe.

Let’s run through a few needs or what I refer to as ‘matters of the heart’, as I see it. If we run through the basic psychological needs like – to know and be known, to love and be loved by others, there is one that stands out. I can honestly say and I honestly believe that men, Real Men need deep, caring relationships with other men.

Enjoying a little ‘biceps workout’ with my very good Aussie friend of almost 20 years now.
A best man in my wedding.
Every man needs at least one good male friend in his life.
Just one.

A have a handful of very good male friends. One, I spent a day and half with as he passed through Sydney, on his way to South America for a week long conference, attended by represented by 60 countries, including the USA and Australia. He is a United Nations Legal Advisor. We’ve been best friends since we were in kindergarten, over 40 years ago. We share dreams and sorrows. We ‘open up’ to each other and hug in public. We lean on each other during tough times but also celebrate during wins.

I have another friend, the very first friend I made on my first day of University almost 30 years ago at the start of my first degree (majoring in Mathematics and Physics). He lives only a suburb away from me and we meet up regularly for coffee and ‘debrief’ almost every week. We make time for each other.

I also have another friend I meet up every quarter that I have known for the last 20 years. We share our fears, our successes, our failures and our dreams. We share feelings. Just the way men should feel comfortable doing with other men. He got a divorce 5 years ago, it was difficult period for him. He’s in another chapter in his life.

I also have a few other friends scattered throughout my existence that have travelled with me in different phases of our lives. All there for a specific reason, upon hind-sight.

The point is, men need other men for deep, caring relationships. Like I need these men.

My very first friend at University on my very first day almost 30 years ago.
Lives just a suburb away for the last 20 years.
Catching up for a coffee and chat and digging deep in our relationship.
Man-stuff!

Yep, you read that correct. And you don’t have to be gay to want that (not that I have anything against being gay or anything like that). No, just talking purely on a ‘needs basis’.

You see, in my experience with males I call my friends and my love of observation and being around mostly men in the last 30 years of visiting the gym, I can deduce that Men need strong, caring relationships with other men. Relationships that allow a man to speak freely about things going on in his life. It is vital to their existence and sense of being and purpose. It is vital to their sanity and management of energy.

It’s to this level that James instructed Christians, “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed” (James 5:16). I believe that a man who doesn’t have at least one other man to who he can be accountable regarding failures, hurts and temptations is a prime target for masculine anger.

Yep, you heard me – masculine anger!

And how does this arise?

Well, from my observations and dealings with mostly men in the different phases of their lives, I have seen that the angry man in our society seems to be caught between mythical masculinity on one side and true masculinity on the other.

You see, the man feels the pressure to achieve, to earn, to conquer, to win and so forth. Yes, but he also feels the silent pressure to do all these things on his own. Now, that is a lot of pressure, and just like many things in life, there is no ‘one size fits all’ approach. Men all handle pressure differently and have different stress tolerance levels.

Apart from the pressure just mentioned, a man, a Real Man also feels the NEED to love and to nurture those he loves. He also has the need to be loved and nurtured by those who love him.

This is where so many of us go a bit askew and out of line.

Askew, when he tries to reconcile or balance the two needs of love.

The man, the Real Man is constantly torn between two extremes of character, like Harvey Two Face or Dr Jekyll & Mr Hyde. He is torn between being invincible and being vulnerable. He is torn between being aloof and being involved and present. He is torn between being self-serving and selfish and being of assistance.

This confusion and imbalance caused by the constant juggling act between character extremes drives a lot of men crazy, which I believe contributes to the high levels of male suicides every year. The roots of this conflict sends up numerous shoots of anger-producing tendencies in his life.

This has got to be stopped or at least managed better.

What we need is a gym like the one I ran for 7 years, in every suburb. A place where men can go and just connect with other men. A place where men can love and be loved, unconditionally. A place where every man came there with the honest purpose to help the ‘man in the mirror’ and to connect with other like-minded men who are there for the single purpose of bettering relationships.

With themselves and with other men.

This gym will be predominantly for men. For Men Only. Men need this (and this has nothing to do with sexism). This is about survival of the male species, of what it means to be a man. Today and tomorrow. Consider this: more men die now from suicide in Australia then women die from breast cancer.

Shocking truth: Men suicide rate in Australia!

A last real Man’s Domain: a gym like mine, where everyone knew your name and were happy you came.

Sit back and watch the men that we produce … within families, within communities .. within states … within countries and the … future world.

These will be men with much more balanced characters that will one day make decisions when they will be leaders of tomorrow. Decisions that we hope will be rooted on the foundation of what they have learned while – loving other men and being loved by other men.

Give it two decades.

We will create not only make Champions out of these men, but more importantly we will help form the foundations of Champion Leaders.

I will be smoking my cigar-filled pipe by then, sitting back and thinking “wow!!”

That is life. What a wonderful life and world this is.

Amen.

 

Until next time …. cheers to all YOU Real Men out there … never stop believing in YOU … keep on keeping on … Stay alive, it’s worth it!!

Ahoy & cheers!!

 

The old Captain Viking Pirate … & his thoughts on the battle within most men

Me & some of the Men of the Gym I ran for 7 years … getting together for a simple eat & meat men-bonding session
Simply because men need this.

I had a family gym that was predominantly male (70%) for about 7 years. I encouraged the men to speak freely and communicate all their feelings and we shared stories and helped one another through tough emotionally difficult phases of life. What a wonderful group of ‘post-feminite new age males’.

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Saying No … to say, Yes.

Beauty comes in many forms. Look at this exquisite beauty at an art show I went to. This Bonsai Tree is produced with constant pruning and shaping. A little like shaping a young male in to not just a Man but a Gentleman. It takes time, a lot of patience and high skill levels. I sit back and go “wow!”

My son is growing up in to a fine young man. He has a Tom Hanks character inside that young Arnold Schwarzennegger tough exterior already and he is only 8. He’s tough but tender when appropriate. Understanding yet stands his ground and confronts when required.

He’s my young Warrior Viking Pirate Prince.

He made me aware recently of a habit of mine. Good or bad, you decide. He said –

Dad, why is it, that you always say no when I first ask you for something… and then a little later change your mind and say yes?

Initially I responded – “Kaka!”.

This is a term I created to be all-encompassing.  A term that gives me an ‘out’, my little exit strategy if I ever get caught in a corner with my childrens’ endless questioning. To be used when I was just too tired to give them an answer or when I didn’t know the answer (which was very regularly) and I didn’t want them to know I didn’t.

Instead of saying ‘just google it”, I came up with my ‘made-up Fijian’ word which I said meant – it is just the way it is! I am not obligated to give an answer and this is where the conversation ends. Full stop!

They hate that word. I use it sparingly.

Then, I got thinking. I asked myself that same question, that great question he had asked me. Why Paul? I’ve always told my children from when they were able to speak, to not be afraid to ask questions and to question everything, even beliefs, behaviours, my actions and the way I do things, history and so forth. However, I’ve always reminded that the most important thing to do is to ask the right question.

This particular question from Zachary, was a right question.

Initially, I didn’t have an answer. I was stuck, in that corner no one likes to be. He got me. Gee … zus, and he was only 7 years old. What other questions is he going to be asking me as we progress through life I thought? Scary stuff! Luckily, I coined that ‘get out of jail’ term pass – kaka. Phew!

After reflection, I called him back and said –

“well, son, if I said yes first off and then said no later, you would be quite unhappy, wouldn’t you? You would probably think I’m cruel. But, if I say no first because when I do and then change my mind … to say yes, you won’t be disappointed and would most probably think that I am a nice dad. A nice man, that I am.”

I told Zachary my son, that this habit of mine was to ensure that I allowed myself time to reflect and think about my decision. This would make sure that, whatever decision it was, that I always came across as a Real Man … a Gentleman that I wanted to be, always. A role model that he, my son, would copy his behaviour off. A template for him to build on.

Working out in my gym during a photo shoot. Shaping a young male in to a man, a Gentle Man is very much like building good quality lean muscle within the walls of balance & symmetry. Requires patience, a lot of skill and dedication to truth, with tonnes of love.

Preparing him for the changing post-feminite landscape

First impressions matter.

That is what we have heard all our lives. Even more so now. I want my son to understand that, I think he does already. Fairly or unfairly, people are going to judge you to be a gentleman or not within the first minute or two of meeting you. Having a template, a blueprint of good manners is important.

We all have a blueprint.

My blueprint … a template evolved (and continuously evolving) that is a cross between relevant ‘old school’ traditions that I still retain from my English Gentleman Grandfather and skills honed by me in these modern times. Skills that he, my father & grandfather would not know and didn’t have to because they lived in a different era, with values and practises that were relevant to that time.

Just like the way I train in the gym, a fusion of ‘old school training methods, combined with a modern twist”. I want my son to learn the old fashioned chivalry combined with a modern respect for women. I want to make sure that he puts the ‘gentle back into the man’ and keep it that way for his future. A future that will be embracing change at a pace that I or previous generations of dads would have never faced.

I need to prepare my son (and daughter) as best I can to believe in himself first, an important step to becoming a gentleman and that knowing that the real meaning of the saying “it’s ok to be a man’ is that men are capable of many dimensions. In other words, to be proud of who he is.

Putting the gentle back into man means nurturing the classic male qualities of kindness and thoughtfulness, patience, compassion and trustworthiness. A man that embrace intimacy qualities simply because he chooses to. A True Gentleman with manners does not have to have feminine qualities. No.

A true gentleman understands that manners matter. He is aware of social etiquette. I want many things for my son, and one of the important ones is that I hope make him conscious of this – in the way he looks, sounds and acts around others.

We all need a bit of guidance and reminder of what and why we are a man. It takes effort and the desire to be made aware. Manners in a Man, Matters. The great thing is that manners can be improved through increased awareness and practice.

Why is this important?

Because the landscape for men has been changing and has been changing very fast in the last decade or two. Men are very confused and unsure in many things, prime example is on how they are expected to be a man – a Real Man.

I want my son to grow up understanding good knowledge of manners and etiquette because it just makes for a better world and also because it paves the path to manhood. Being a man requires a certain amount of experience and knowledge.

I want Zachary to know that it is one thing being a male but it is a totally other thing to be a man, a gentleman. Granted, today the social landscape is not what it used to be when I was growing up as gender roles have blurred and continue to change dramatically. Many things have changed.

I want my son to embrace this change but be prepared for it. I want him to be a successful gentleman in this new landscape. A landscape that requires him to know how to act, how to dress, how to talk and how to date.

A man needs to allow himself to be coachable to help him, help himself navigate the challenges he faces in the Sea of Life.

 Being the BEST Dad and Father you can be

He is learning this from me, every single day. That is the pressure and responsibility that us men (with young children) and the men in society at large have. Helping create the New Men and beginning with teaching them the new etiquette. I have to admit, it is a little daunting as I tell them that I am their Flawed Hero, their Less-than Perfect Dad.

You see, from where I sit, saying no … before I say yes is only one piece of the puzzle of what it means for my son to grow into a modern day Real Man with relevant old traditional values with a modern twist, needed for survival in today’s world. A world currently filled with many confused post-feminite, re-constructed, new-age so-called men! Not Real Men, far from Real Gentlemen.

I remind him of what my father used to say to me ‘action speaks louder than words!’’ Yes, indeed. I want Zachary to understand that it’s one thing to say we need to change how we act, but it’s another thing to do it! A very necessary ingredient to successful body re-engineering journeys that I have helped people, help themselves achieve over the last 20+ years.

To get quality results in anything, one has to not only have  a clear goal but develop a quality plan and most importantly, ensure a quality implementation of the quality plan. A ‘scatter-gun’ approach will not give you the desired results.

Etiquette, after all, is more than knowledge, it’s a product of well-rooted self-confidence. That is probably one of the greatest gifts any dad or father can impart to their sons – that of self-confidence. They don’t learn this at school or the sporting fields, they learn this at home.

Children, like seeds need a lot of guidance and nurturing as well as the freedom to grow. However, with more freedom comes more responsibility. Teaching them life etiquette helps them manage their sailing better.

With regards to being a gentleman, I know that how we feel about ourselves is often how we present ourselves to others. You see and hear about it every single day. If you honestly believe you can excel at a job or in a game of football then the confidence will show when you talk to your boss or take a penalty.

People and society notice and reward good etiquette, demonstrated through appropriate self-confidence. Good manners matter!

So, there are many things I hope and wish my son will be and skills he would have practised through good behavioural habits. When channelled in to the right mediums, habits can be life-changing.

For a better life.

My ultimate wish for him is to have a fulfilling life of significance. I’m sure it is the same thing our dads had for us and I’m sure all you Dads and Real Men reading this feel the same as well. We’re all ultimately helping to mold the future Leaders of our world when we’re old, frail and silver. And not fall in to the trap of ‘do as I say, not as I do” philosophy that some of the previous generations of men have passed down. This is one that need to be put aside.

The skill all us Dads need to develop is the skill of continuously questioning beliefs passed down to us and filtering out bulls*it and values that are not relevant and life-affirming for this era. And the most important skill of discerning between what is helpful and what isn’t, based on relevance.

That takes time … and hard work/YAKA!

Let’s hope they are great examples of Real Men, men who have simply practised putting the gentle back in to man and have learned to say no … pause .. … then say yes.

Thank you Zachary, for asking that right question.

 

Ahoy & cheers my friends …

The old Captain Viking Pirate … & his thoughts on being a Real Gentleman

I had a family gym that was predominantly male (70%) for about 7 years. I encouraged the men to speak freely and communicate all their feelings and we shared stories and helped one another through tough emotionally difficult phases of life. What a wonderful group of ‘post-feminite new age gentlemen. Men that understood that manners matter.

Give him the scaffolding in your son’s life to help him, help himself find his light. To allow him to build & live a life of significance. With a foundation of good etiquette/manners.

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