awareness, better choices, choices, courage, Energy, forgiveness, God, love, relationships, trust

Where has all the Trust and Forgiveness gone?

Trust and forgiveness is key to any relationship. Find it in your heart to trust and forgive not matter how many times you get let down. Vv.

Trust and forgiveness is key to any relationship. Find it in your heart to trust and forgive not matter how many times you get let down.
Vv.

There does not seem to be much trust and forgiveness in the world today.

A  dying trait, like an endangered species. I think it can be put up on the “endangered character-quality” list.

Is it just me or have you observed this trend too?

It can be difficult to forgive sometimes but it is important that you do. There should be room for errors. These errors or mistakes a person makes should be embraced as feedback for improvement.

Forgiving can be hard, I know.

It seems in today’s world on many layers of society, trust and forgiveness is missing and it is sad because it sends a consistent message that both (or more parties) have lost care about whether the relationship continues or not.

You can see it on many levels, reflected in the media – between suppliers and customers; between organizations and its employees or contractors; between sports clubs and its coaches; between coaches and their players; between family members; between friends and even between husbands and wives.

What sort of person are you? Are you prudent and ‘trust but verify?” or are you careful and watch your back and consult your lawyer?

How has the world come to this point, I wonder?

Long-lasting friendship is built on trust and forgiveness. Don't allow it to be on your endangered character-quality list. No matter what. Vv.

Long-lasting friendship is built on trust and forgiveness.
Don’t allow it to be on your endangered character-quality list.
No matter what.
Vv.

I know the bible asks that we find it in our hearts to trust and forgive, no matter how many times someone breaks it. This can be very difficult but it is important that we try. It helps build a better world. The Lord’s prayer says something along the lines “… forgive our sins as we forgive those who sin against us … “

How many of us really do this in today’s world? It seems that the prayer is now saying “…. Forgive our sins as we don’t forgive those who sin against us … ?”

For the world to come to this is indeed a sad world… but I am still hopeful.

It seems that these endangered human characteristics that was once in plentiful supply in years gone by is a rare sighting. There are daily reminders in many areas of modern life demonstrating signs that trust, love and even friendship has failed. These are no longer what is the norm.

Instead, they are becoming increasingly endangered and are a genuine luxury if you are lucky to witness or experience it in your daily life.

As for me, I am quite old-fashioned and believe in a lot of old-fashioned values like trust, love and friendship and forgiveness. I think it is important to find it in your heart to forgive. It can be difficult, yes, but don’t give up.

Persevere and believe. Trust against the odds, that the human spirit in what is right will always prevail.

In the end, relationships matter.

Sometimes it can be hard to take the bible seriously but finding it in your heart to forgive every time a person lets you down is always the best decision you can make.

If you value the relationship and want it to continue, you have to always be willing to forgive and trust again. No relationship can continue if we are not willing to trust and forgive, no matter how many times the person lets you down.

No forgiveness means no relationship. It is as simple as that!

If you believe that certain relationships matter, then forgive and trust again. Because this is part of what it means to be a practising Christian. It isn’t easy in today’s modern world and it takes enormous courage to follow God’s teachings in the Christian life.

Trusting and forgiving repeatedly requires tremendous spiritual courage and patience. Don’t make it part of your endangered character-quality list.

Because it is worth it.

Besides, from what I have learned through other people’s experiences over the years, trust is cheaper than lawyers.

All the best in your choices.

 

Until next time,

Ex-Australian Wallaby Captain Phil Waugh trusting my requests as he performs his exercise. Vv.

Ex-Australian Wallaby Captain Phil Waugh trusting my requests as he performs his exercise.
Vv.

~~Life &; wellness COACH~~

~~Life & wellness COACH~~

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a better life, action, adaptation, authenticness, awareness, belief, belief systems, Beliefs, better choices, choices, decisions, Energy, game of life, genuineness, Goals, habits, life, long-term perspective, love, man, perspective, real man, self improvement, truths, you, your life

Being and doing.

Being and doing.  Strive to bring them together as ONE.  For a better you, a better life.  Vv.

Being and doing.
Strive to bring them together as ONE.
For a better you, a better life.
Vv.

My grandfather played a huge role in my youth.

I only have a few photos of him in a little photo album I bought almost three decades ago now. I was fortunate I had the foresight to put a few photos in this album for me and my family in the future – the family I have now.

I was about eleven years old when I put this album together. I bring the album out every so often to show my kids and tell stories of my childhood. They just love listening to these stories and the photos bring these stories to life – of the life I lived in the first quarter of my life. Stories of my grandparents, my siblings, my cousins, extended family members, my friends, my pets and my hobbies.

A different but beautiful phase of my life – a life my kids are so very far removed in their lives they live now. A time and part of my life that I will always cherish.

It was a different time, different era – a different place.

These are the only photos I have of some of the most influential persons I had in my life in my first fourteen years on this earth. Two of them were my grandparents. They were more like parents to me. They raised me as their child.

This blog is dedicated to my foremost role model – my grandfather. A man that melded ‘being and doing’ into ONE. Let me tell you a little story about him and how it relates to the title of this …

I don’t remember much about him now but I remember how I felt when I was around him. I felt loved. I know he was a man of love and always showed me he loved me every day.

I remember he was very strict and particular in everything he did. Everything had its place and everything had standards. Standards that we all had to adhere to.

Without fail. There were no exceptions.

He was very much a ‘black and white’ sort of a person with very little or no ‘grey areas’. He would call a spade a spade and wouldn’t mince his words if he had to get his message across by bothering with ‘political correctness’ as we do now.

He called it as he saw it! He was a Clint Eastwood “Old School” kind-of-a man. A man I looked up to.

Like I said, it was a different time, different place.

Setting his own standards through - Mind-muscle connection. 'flexing the muscles' in a "most-muscular' pose. Chris is an A+ student and the results show for a 47 year old man. On his way to realizing a physique and mind-set he imagines himself having. ... adopting my framework to body/mind re-engineering. No risk, no belief - no nothing! Vv

Setting his own standards through –
Mind-muscle connection. ‘flexing the muscles’ in a “most-muscular’ pose.
Chris is an A+ student and the results show for a 47 year old man.
On his way to realizing a physique and mind-set he imagines himself having.
… adopting my framework to body/mind re-engineering.
No risk, no belief – no nothing!
Vv

But he was also a gentleman. A real, genuine, gentleman. Dressed like one, behaved like one and thought like one. I only realized how fortunate I was to have such an influential person like him in my life after he died.

He died in peacefully in his sleep. It was a quiet end to a quiet man.

My beliefs, my values and principles and my perspective on life has been strongly influenced by this influential grandfather of mine. A simple but very wise man.

From what I understand (and to some extent, remember), he was a very quiet man. A man of few words. A man who spoke through his actions. A very authentic, Real Man.

One thing that I will always remember was that he never missed a performance that I was in throughout my primary and early secondary school life. I always saw his face in the crowd of parents and grandparents that came to watch. ALWAYS! This is a very tough standard to live up to now that I have kids of my own.

I found it very difficult to attend all my children’s school performances last year. And they are just starting out in their primary school. I will do my very best for the future years to keep up this standard.

At his funeral I was made responsible for meeting and greeting people at the door as they arrived. I could not believe the amount of people that turned up at his funeral, I mean there would have been over five hundred people that poured in. They came from all levels of society – senior government officials, doctors, judges, big businessmen, teachers and so forth.

Was this all for the man I thought I knew – my grandfather?”, I wondered.

It didn’t make sense”, I thought to myself. I remember seeing the tears in the eyes of all those hundreds of people (mostly strangers to me), who had come from everywhere to say farewell to this ‘quiet man’.

This moment and the funeral got me thinking …

I wondered and still wonder who would come to my funeral with tears in their eyes? Have you wondered this too? I remember thinking and still think about what one’s life is for and what is the point of our existence in this world? I asked myself what the definition of success was? We’ve all heard these questions before, yes. Most of us have read the philosophies.

But have you really applied them to yourself before? Seriously.

Doing and being is essential to muscle building success for your health and muscle goals. Connect the two. Make them one. Vv.

Doing and being is essential to muscle building success for your health and muscle goals.
Connect the two. Make them one.
Vv.

Well, I guess this gentleman I knew as my grandfather had somehow touched, in some way, shape or form – the hearts of everyone who paid respect at his. It only occurred to me many years later that one of the reasons why this quiet man influenced so many people was this:

He was a man whose beliefs and actions were very closely aligned, where his being and doing was almost the same thing. It was ONE. He was an authentic man. This is probably one of the most difficult things each and every one of us have to face in life – the alignment of our beliefs with our actions.

This is always going to forever be a complex, dynamic process because even though our individual beliefs may stay the same, our actions will be influenced by how the world changes around us (and the pace of change is quicker than ever before). We are now, more than ever, forced to constantly re-think and re-assess our actions against our beliefs EVERY SINGLE DAY!

The alignment of one’s beliefs and actions – of a person’s being and doing, is a very difficult daily battle with constant change. For most, if not all of us, this search for a stronger connection and search for this truth will never end. It’s almost a losing battle. The search for the authentic self, your authentic self. Your soul. But don’t despair, don’t give in. Persevere.

Strengthen your grit!

Since that realisation all those years ago, I have been trying to bring my being and my doing closer together. It isn’t easy. You could say that it has and always is a daily goal of mine and continue to be so in to the future.

Do you find yourself acting a part in your normal day-to-day which is not totally ‘you’? What about in your place of work, the organization you work for? I remember working in large multi-national corporations many years ago, doing a lot of travelling and consultancy. I thought then and still do now that everyone is basically a ‘role occupant’. Everyone in these organizations. This is necessary however, to have the smooth running of the organization.

Can you honestly say that your role or the roles you play/played in those organizations were a perfect match between you and the role? I didn’t think so.

Very few of us would.

An old school pose by an 'old school' believer. Vv.

An old school pose by an ‘old school’ believer.
Vv.

I liken it to my children’s fantasy role playing I see them enact when they play ‘pretend stories’. Part of the appeal of working for such organizations, apart from the financial incentives is that it forces every employee to escape from themselves for hours every day to play a role, a part.

It is normally fun at the start but damaging in the end, on many levels. I am raising this vital observation because I think it is very important, especially in this era we live in where we witness almost daily the damaging effects of people’s deeds not aligned with their beliefs.

Seemingly small, disparate choices made daily, that result in cataclysmic storms all because one’s being and doing is not ONE. Remember, elephants don’t bite, mosquitoes do! Pay more attention to the little things in life, things that are not seen with the naked eye – like your beliefs.

This, I believe, is a huge contributor to the deterioration of Trust in people and between people; in society and between societies; in the country’s leaders and between country leaders.

Here's me doing my favourite pose at the World Championships. Contest: 2007 World Natural Bodybuilding Championships held in NY, USA. Ranked: 4th Best Natural Bodybuilder in the World. Believe in yourself. Trust in yourself. Make your Being and your Doing - ONE. Vv.

Contest: 2007 World Natural Bodybuilding Championships held in NY, USA.
Ranked: 4th Best Natural Bodybuilder in the World.
Believe in yourself. Trust in yourself. Make your Being and your Doing – ONE.
Vv.

My hope is to point out what I observe and ‘see’ in the meaning of things and in the purpose of life. But more importantly, my hope is that I raise questions in your head in order to encourage you to find your meaning and your purpose.

So, I leave you with this question: do you live your daily life as the ‘real you’? Do your actions reflect your beliefs? What are your beliefs? How far apart is your being from your doing?

Is your being and doing strongly connected and ONE?

If it isn’t, you may want to start re-aligning them before it is too late. Make this habit. There is power in deliberate practise. There is power in habit. It begins within you and with you – with a choice.

Food for thought.

 

Until next time,

A little fun with my cowboy hat at home.

A little fun with my cowboy hat at home. I like hats.

~~Life & wellness COACH~~

~~Life & wellness COACH~~

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change, change management, chaos, life, order, you

She’ll be right, mate!

Having a conversation with a lion.

Having a conversation with a lion. There is a fine line separating order and chaos.

A popular Australian phrase which means exactly that, that things will turn out alright, not to worry. It is a beautiful phrase. It can be seen as a wishy-washy statement and said by someone who doesn’t really understand or care. But I believe it says more – it is the kind of tough, rough and rugged Trust you need if you are going to make the most of your journey in life.

“She’ll be right, mate!” I have heard people say over the years, and many other cultures have similar sayings. Australians, however, say it so well. That all manner of things will be well and turn out ok. Believe it so.

Belief, after all will allow you to take whatever change lay ahead of you, in your stride.

Change is inevitable in everything in life, this is a constant. The whole of life is dynamic, ever-changing. I am a change agent as part of what I do is help change people’s physical appearance from where they are to where they imagine themselves to be.

We all are, try reflecting on all the changes you have initiated or been part of to this point in your life. You are a change agent too.

I find that change, in whatever shape or form in comes in, so often, is assumed to be change for the worse. Very understandable. I suppose when you look deeply in to the psyche of why you hate change ultimately comes down to one of the most illusive characteristics in our lives today. And do you know what characteristic is that?

Simple: TRUST.

Do you trust anyone (including YOU) one hundred percent? I doubt it. I have found that people’s dislike of change is a result of mis-trust or lack of trust. You don’t trust other people and so it follows that you will not trust the future or what the future holds.

But I think this can be looked at from a reciprocal viewpoint and you could deduce that if there is no trust then there is usually no change.

The first step each and every one of us need to do is to learn to trust ourselves better. When this is achieved, we could try to trust the future and whatever the future holds for each of us. At the end of the day, LIFE has to change – this fact is a constant.

If you’re not progressing (even if it micro-steps) in all areas of life or operating on the same spot (stagnant), that is the first point of decrease. Besides, life is meant to be a journey, with multiple legs as you sail your ship through the sea of life. Life is not meant to be operating stationary.

I read somewhere in the past that said that ships are safer in the harbour. But, these are not what ships are meant to do – be stationary, it is meant to sail. And that is akin to how we should partly view the life we have been given.

The beauty of life is that it throws different journeys for each and every one of us. We all have unique journeys of our own and it is this simple fact that confirms that our journeys take us in to un-chartered territories. The UNKNOWN.

Because most of us fear the unknown, the fear of change is real for majority. A lot of times there is no map or if there is one, it may not prove very reliable. But here lies the exciting part, the opportunity.

As I get older, I have learned that it is from the unexpected twists and turns in life’s journey that has taught me the most. This is the opportunity and it lies in times of turbulence, times of apparent chaos. A lot of times, what may have looked liked little deviations, may in fact turn out to be main roads.

My daughter and I.

My daughter and I.

I like spending a bit of time drawing and colouring with my daughter every week and my daughter had this tendency for perfection in her pictures. A slight error in colouring is enough to disappoint her immensely. I convinced her to not jump to that conclusion until the whole picture was completed. When the pictures were done, I asked her to re-look at the picture and how I turned that ‘perceived error’ in to a strength.

She is learning that making mistakes is ok and you can make ‘order out of chaos/mistakes’ and still create a thing of beauty. Body re-engineering, afterall is a process of change management. Building muscle, like love, is a constant cycle of destruction (chaos), love and care and repair.

An example of the perceived mistake was turned in to a thing of beauty, creating order from chaos. What is undoubtedly fitting to this point is the debate over how to precisely define ‘chaos’ or change. Some scientists confine their idea of the chaos phenomenon to the boundary area between stable and purely random behaviour.

Most believe though, that the most ‘fertile’ area (room for growth and development and progress) of chaos in all dynamic systems (all areas of life) lies in the ferociously active frontier that has been found to exist between stability and incomprehensible disorder.

In other words – in the ‘change period’.

So, there you go, it is in your best interest to accept change (in whatever shape, form or area of life it is experienced) because when you embrace change, you demonstrate pure trust in self and in what lies ahead.

Ultimately, your acceptance of change or chaos, demonstrates your acceptance of the ‘wholeness of life’.

I recall some philosopher saying –

“Life is about change. If you’re not changing, you’re not living!”.

How true.

So, trust. Trust you first and then trust in what the future has in store for you and you will find that these perceived changes in these chaotic periods will not worry you.

Just tell yourself, this is part of the aesthetic beauty of truth and a constant of life and remind yourself “she’ll be right mate!”.

Until next time,

Back lats spread a few weeks prior to the Australian Natural Bodybuilding Titles. Placing: 2nd in Australia. Muscle building is the fusion of chaos and order.

Back lats spread a few weeks prior to the Australian Natural Bodybuilding Titles.
Placing: 2nd in Australia.
Muscle building is the fusion of chaos and order.

"Back Double Biceps" in the heat of competition! Placing: 2nd in Australia

“Back Double Biceps” in the heat of competition!
Placing: 2nd in Australia

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