Be more Humane. Begin with you, first. Be more humane with you, first. Then … share that humane-ness with others.
** HUMANE-NESS IS DYING **
The tired soul is dying Leaving a void within, The Humane-ness is lying In silence, again, we begin; In Freedom & bondage Where deception runs deep, They pass to their advantage – The kingdoms are for keep.
And gaze while they’re sleeping By reaching for height, They rest in your feeling An amazing bright light. When doubt fills our glories Of layers unfold, It is then that the stories Of our history are told.
Outnumbered I spoke with them Recalling memories of delight, But who could decipher them When we’re living in fright. Beyond all refusal The doubts in our glories, The wind is a dismal, And Are part of these stories.
The waving of tall grasses, The song of the hidden sinner, That croons as it passes You do so with a little quiver. The heavy-heart is a fool The summoning of jealousy, The confusing schedule Must blend until you see.
Without these, indeed, you Would discover before too long, Just like I would read to you The words of a beautiful song That exhaustion would linger When flowers don’t bloom, The melodies of a singer, Of The hypnotic tune.
And, melding with each For far too long There, sadly humane-ness is dying We are in need of a happy song.
Paul 💝alentine –
My gift 🎁 to you. P. ~~~~
I love this quote. Increasing your awareness is parameters to having clarity and success in your life.
SEARCH. Become the BEST ‘searcher’ you can be.
One day .. you may find ALL the answers you’re seeking for YOUR questions to give ‘meaning’ to your life.
A wonderful book says –
“Seek and ye shall find;
Ask and ye shall receive.”
True.
ME. Mistake-riddled ME…. But I am happy being IMPERFECTLY PERFECT, just as Jesus Christ was. His life was a great example of what FAILURE was. Not an easy path to follow …. But I will. Because I BELIEVE in JESUS and what he stood for. Just like GOD intended.
… too numerous to list here.
I have made many mistakes. I will try to express it in words like this.
When I should have let my unusually strong 💪 stubborn-ness to dig deep;
But instead, succumbed to a feeling of weakness and gave up hope …
And ….
On … and … on … and … on ….
One thing is certain –
There’s still more mistakes to come
Life goes on
One thing that I have learned from making tonnes and tonnes of mistakes … of having experienced so many fuck ups …. Of failing multiple times is …
That I am more COMFORTABLE at tolerating the UNCOMFORTABLE FEELINGS of making a mistake … or fucking up … of failing … of failing …. Of failing. …..
I don’t see mistakes as mistakes anymore … but instead as OPPORTUNITIES to find solutions …. To stretch boundaries …. To DESIGN NEW RULES …. To CREATE something DIFFERENT …. To START ANEW.
I’m unsure of the future …
But I am not concerned;
I will rely on those closest to ME …
And I will share their burdens … as they share mine;
I WILL continue to ..
LIVE & LOVE 💕.. & LEARN … with the understanding that I am IMPERFECTLY PERFECT and …
Until my physical form on earth reaches its finite end and my spiritual self continues into INFINITY…
Because …
I BELIEVE that GOD is ALWAYS WITH ME …
And that makes me FEEL INVINCIBLE.. as I AM GOD … I AM INFINITE.
⁃ fine-lines with Black fine-nib pens on white paper
⁃ the human physique by playing with Dumbells, energy inputs, processes and imagination
⁃ Lifestyle variables to DESIGN TAILORED LIFE & LIFESTYLE SOLUTIONS for individuals
⁃ Consciousness to “see” what many do not in the current & future
First and foremost, I AM AN ARTIST 👨🎨…
Of LIFE.
I may need a different mix of chaos & order … a more challenging mix of comfort & discomfort … a varying mix of stability & flow compared to more “normal “ people.
People may find it weird, but …
That’s ok.
I see life as an very large experiment made up of many smaller experiments. I refer to these experiments as experiences.
And I Am … the Scientist at heart… with an artistic soul.
I practise the Art of Physique Artistry/sculpting. The Art of the building towards better BALANCE & SYMMETRY with the OPTIMAL FLOW of MUSCLES.
WHAT WORKS For ME.
I remind myself that I must experiment with WHAT WORKS FOR ME.
As an Artist 👨🎨, money does not validate my credibility.
As an Artist, my credibility lies WITH ME, GOD & My WORK. In other words, if I write a Blog … a poem … if I sketch ✍️ a fine-like picture of beautiful building architecture … then, I write or draw – whether it will sell or not.
Since my Artist is a child, the natural CHILD WITHIN… I try to make some compromises to its sense of timing.
Timing is important … a characteristic that is not given it’s fair due.
Many times I will write poorly… draw badly … sculpt awfully … perform poorly. I allow myself to do this … to get to the OTHER SIDE. The side that spurns creative thought …
In my experience, IMAGINATION & CREATIVITY is it’s OWN REWARD.
I have been and am, continually in awe of the wonders & daily little miracles in life … of Life, itself.
One of My jobs is to continue to be in awe of the wonders of life and retain my CURIOSITY… to ALWAYS DEEPEN my understanding and increase AWARENESS of the MYSTERY of LIFE.
As an Artist, my sense of self respect comes from my belief that I am created in the image of God, my internal reflection and from DOING THE WORK.
What work?
My work …
One fine-line-sketch -at-a-time, one set of exercise at a time, one poem at-a-time, one blog-at-a-time … one dream at-a-time. Five years working on a lifestyle proto-type, 10 years working on an entrepreneurial adventure, a lifetime pursuing a dream that takes a lifetime.
As an Artist, making money is not what drives me. I do not need to be extremely wealthy & rich but I do need to be RICHLY SUPPORTED by those who love & BELIEVE in me.
My CURIOSITY NEEDS to be fueled for my intellectual, spiritual & philosophical needs. These needs as well as my insatiable physical & emotional needs have to be continually fed to continuously EVOLVE.
I must …
Never allow these needs to be stagnant, for this will show in my work. If will show In my life. It will show In my temperament. …
… In my aura, my vitality.. my life force.
It is very important that I keep moving …. As this allows me to CREATE.
I need to CREATE to express my love for life … of life . If I fail to create, I get moody.
Nobody likes a moody – me.
In order to CREATE I must stretch the boundaries … making new laws … encouraging novel ways of looking at things … and not necessarily following the existing laws and staying within the current boundaries.
First, I must BREAK ALL THE RULES.
As an Creative Artist, I need to continually FEED and NURTURE my ARTIST CHILD… for the more I nurture this INNER CHILD, the more ADULT i am able to appear.
Through the right plan, positive mental attitude, Brad applies principles of my program towards being a lot more who he already is (the BEST he can be)
There is a CONNECTION between SELF-NUTURE & SELF-RESPECT.
When I allow myself to be bullied (very seldom), and somewhat allow to be forced by other peoples’ need for me to conform … to be more normal or more nice, I lose myself.
Sometimes I do. I lose my – Self.
I allow myself to succumb to the whims of the ordinary man, to be ordinary like the ordinary. Something My inner fibre of being just does not agree with.
I sabotage my CHILD ARTIST.
For when I am not creating, I am not a very nice person to be around. I am certainly not “normal” or very nice – go myself or to others. Many say I am “weird”.
So be it.
In my experience, There is a connection between self-nurture and self-respect.
Be the best you can be for you, first, then by default, everyone gets the best of you.
Vv.
Every time I create something from nothing, I feel the creativity is a spiritual journey. For me, doing the ART WORK is a SPIRITUAL PRACTISE.
To me, there is never a “finishing line” or point where I can say that “I have made it!”
It seems that when I feel I “got there” … “there” vanishes. Vanishes into thin air. Just like that . In sculpting the physique for example, I have been working towards the elusive holy grail of bodybuilding: balance & symmetry.
Haven’t found it for almost 30 years now.
Every time I create … I have a piritual journey.
I NEED to keep moving … like a Spiritual Shark 🦈… if I stop improving, I will sink to the bottom of the Ocean of life and …
Die.
MY WAY like LIFE’S WAY is not the “straight & narrow path” as the majority take … but one instead which is literally “my way”
MY WAY is a SPIRAL PATH… not the straight & narrow. My way is a spiral path because I AM an ARTIST, but more importantly, I am created in the image of God.
It is a simple and as complex as that.
As an artist, I am a traveller. In body and in spirit & imagination. I yield to my SPIRITUAL LEADING.
The Creator bestows on us the gift of creative thinking & doing. Our recognition & use of our gifts, given by God, is, in turn, our gift 💝 to God.
When you Accept this DEAL OF A LIFETIME… I believe it is the beginning of TRUE SELF-ACCEPTANCE.
Give thanks and praise the Lord.
Amen.
FIRST: MOVE INTO THE BODY, HEART ❤️ & SOUL.
To move into the body, heart & soul, one must first resolve to ACCEPT that one MUST MOVE OUT OF THE HEAD/MIND.
This is not easy.
Especially in a “busy” world with a lot of external & internal noise.
I make exercise a key part of my life because I am and have been seeking a form of MOVING or MOBILE MEDITATION. The execution of well-chosen exercises allows me to practise this … what I call – moving meditation.
This meditation experience puts me squarely IN THE MOMENT… in the NOW.
If I don’t respect the weight and/or don’t focus, I will get injured. I have not gotten injured lifting weights since I began almost 30 years ago.
My goal has always been to seek BALANCE & SYMMETRY in body… which translates to balance & symmetry in mind, heart & soul.
Like I said, earlier, many of us (like me), we DO learn by doing. Exercise, for example, is often the impetus that moves us … moves us from stagnation to inspiration… from seeing problems to opportunities for find solutions … from self-pity to self-respect & living with dignity.
One of the things we learn is that – I AM Stronger … WE ARE … STRONGER THAN WE THOUGHT. From my experience, we learn to have a different worldview… we learn to look at things with a new Perspective.
And a lot of times, this different perspective is the KEY to experiencing life a little differently … a little bit better …
With …
Added …
FUN.
Thank you
Yours in care, compassion & trust,
P.
I love fine-line pen 🖊 sketching. No pencil, no rubber. Black pen strokes. Can you spot the “mistakes?”
The 💝alentine tribe (minus our dog 🐶 – Mr Fuzzy/Fussy cuddles
Marriage is Teamwork.
No matter what a husband or wife happens to be or do, MARRIAGE IS TEAMWORK.
From my experience of being married for almost twenty years now and also from learning from other peoples’ experiences, marriage is a great example of ULTIMATE TEAMWORK.
I would go further to say that, given the high rates of divorce, marriages that last are not just because of teamwork but they have teamwork because they are a TEAM THAT WORKS.
Marriage is not about the hope of WORKING AS A TEAM, it is about two people WHO COME TOGETHER… & FIT … like 6 fits into 9, to make “69”.
God does not give individual gifts 🎁 to frustrate a marriage. No. God gives us unique gifts to ENHANCE the marriage. God does not lead two people into a marriage to see “sparks fly”, pulling a husband & wife in opposite directions.
No… God, leads them into marriage to blend and maximise their strengths, their usefulness.
Whenever this happens in my relationship with my wife, I pray to God for his help…. To give me the strength, courage & wisdom to make good decisions.
This is where our faith in God helps us during turbulent times in the marriage. There are many forces (internal and external) that work hard to tear a marriage apart.
If you believe in your marriage & what it represents is important to you, ask for God’s guidance and work hard to keep your marriage .
My beautiful wife of almost 20 years now. My love for this human being keeps increasing every single day.
As I see it, much of the problems & tension that occur in marriages comes from the INABILITY to BALANCE the ACT of GIVING to your spouse /other while retaining a SENSE OF SELF.
In other words, the tension comes from grasping or holding onto what we consider our INDIVIDUALITY. I believe no matter what our gifts, talents or personalities… when they are given To god.
With strong belief in God, he will work & blend it all out and provide balance, because that is just what God will do.
No other team that you are a part of in life – business, sport, religion, politics etc … will ever be as IMPORTANT or benefit & challenge you like a successful marriage.
It takes WORK… a lot of real hard work. It is the complete & ULTIMATE example of TEAMWORK in life.
With God (part of the team, too).
Here’s a few questions for you:
1. Has there been a time when you put one of your individual goals “on hold “ so your spouse could pursue a dream?
All human behaviour is fundamentally, REACTIONARY.
We are ALWAYS Reacting to something or someone. Many businesses thrive on this Reaction and the predictive futures of this reaction.
We stop reacting when we are dead. Have you observed people who have “stopped”. They’re like walking zombies … they effectively live like they were dead!
Not healthy. Not recommended.
So, I believe ALL human thinking is, in a way, reactionary.
And we, as individuals, as communities, as nations … have to react to accepted ideas propagated by those who control communication platforms.
A yellow door maybe? Perhaps you like the colour yellow.
What is your colour blind?
Progress.
Here’s one accepted idea: PROGRESS.
What does that mean?
You hear it regularly thrown about by large corporations as they exploit the resources of developing and poorer nations. As they force archaic working policies on our fellow civil citizens. And their request: that we just stand by idly and accept.
Without a voice. Without a reaction.
Progress in technology … progress in pollution… progress in pornography … progress in freedom of speech… progress in behaviour … and so forth… are not All that good.
Well, because the HUMAN NATURE does not change. The term “progress” is a human invention. There is no evolution in the human character and … in the human mind. Human Relationships still take time to form.
Does that mean that you need to stop the change?
No.
Change, in itself, is not necessarily good. Just like stability. Change can be good or bad, just like stability can be good or bad.
Everything in our lives … our human life … every problem is a question of Quality and not quantity.
And yet, the progress has technology and importance of numbers and logic is of paramount importance. This is a very distorted approach to viewing progress as it primarily uses a very deductive and logical framework. At the expense of intuition, of matters of the heart. Of feelings.
All for the sake of Progress.
As part of a healthy inclusive discussion, we should be encouraged to listen to all sides of anything or anyone claiming that something should be adopted.
The pros and cons of the idea or creation or technology should be debated and “thrashed out” before it is implemented.
This should be a normal part of any healthy discussion.
Let’s look at one example:
Where is your “Hulk?” The Hulk is very reactionary and he expresses his ANGER in a very destructive way.
Positive anger is also termed “Constructive anger,” Also known as passion.
People with passion is reverred.
Throughout history…
Passion has overthrown tyrants and freed prisoners and slaves.
Passion has brought justice where there was injustice.
Passion has brought kindness & care where there was savagery.
Passion has created freedom where there was nothing but fear.
Passion has helped souls rise from the ashes of their horrible lives and build something better, stronger, more beautiful.
Passion is that fire 🔥 that grows into lasting
Hope and faith that there will be a
… better tomorrow.
So… it is what we choose to do with that inner fire 🔥 is what matters
And …
We should not be afraid to express it …
So as to react to and question all ideas that sprouts “progress “ as their mantra.
Not everything that says is contributing to “progress” is necessarily good for you.
We should all be wary about just accepting all the benefits espoused by new technology and not sitting down to discuss the limitations or risks in the short & long-term.
For some, life can feel empty if they don’t find or grasp a higher calling… a “purpose” in life. These are the people who seek for answers in all kinds of places, some of which would be less than ideal.
Here is the thing about these types: They know they are looking for something, but they don’t really know what it is. Almost like a headless chook.
They have lost their zest for life … that essence of life, I call Vitality.
To me, purpose gives the Individual, hope … the strength to continue past obstacles and unexpected changes we face every day. In some views of life, hope is all we really have.
To find Purpose, I believe one has to find it WITHIN… but get inspiration, EXTERNALLY, from others.
Everyone looks to better themselves & strive to live a BETTER LIFE. Most think that to do this, they need to only acquire more VALUABLES.
Stop ✋!
Change your viewpoint: life should not be about acquiring more Valuables, instead, should be about making yourself more VALUABLE. We are alive on this planet to primarily, GIVE or express ourselves through sharing, in some creative outlet.
Believe in love 😍. Give love. Receive love. Do all thoughts & actions with love.
For me, it is GOD.
Success, like happiness, cannot me pursued. Release all desires to achieve success as a self-promoting goal/target. This route, taken by many will not give you the opportunity to live a FULL LIFE. It won’t bring you full success.
Success, true success, in any field, only comes through the pursuit of something greater than you … an ideal… a standard that allows you to surrender to a higher power.
Life’s purpose does not require intense cognitive power. It is not something that you can THINK your way to discovering. Thinking leads to overthinking, which is what many in this left-brain dominated modern societies celebrate – should I try this? What if it turns to failure? Would this work? What if it does not bring income? and leads to non-action or procrastination.
From my experience, I can gracefully admit and share that there is NO “ONE WAY” … THE WAY for me was not Found by simply looking for it… but by DOING IT… by LIVING what I LOVE TO DO.
We all have a light that helps us see as we journey through the paths we choose in life. My light is God. What is yours?
This Diamond called CLARITY.
Success, in life (& any pursuit in life) comes to those who face their fears and TRY NEW THINGS… without being glued to the end result. What you get, then, is something that is a KEY foundation stone to your building of success: CLARITY.
If is only when you take on the role of the VIKING or PIRATE 🏴☠️ in you, that you sail out to EXPLORE uncharted seas. It is through exploration that you discover this gem … this diamond called CLARITY.
Results come only with repeated ACTIONS, done with sufficiency and appropriateness. Wondering and dwelling on what to do and not actually “doing”, pushes you even further away from reaching your ultimate purpose in life.
In finding my path, for example, I stopped watching tv many, many years ago. And as modes of communication increased, I taught myself to block more of these modes out. Just as I manage what I eat for my body for optimal physique conditions, I manage input into my brain.
Beginning with me, myself snd i snd the Holy Trinity within me : the Father, the Son & the Holy Spirit. I did and tried everything – fine-line sketching, body sculpting, writing poetry, writing books, photography, blogging, podcasting & public speaking…
I even tried doing NOTHING…. Snd appreciating the emptiness of nothing…. Ams trying to create SOMETHING FROM NOTHING.
I learned and discovered my TRUE PASSION and that is … speaking and sharing NUGGETS OF VITALITY.
There is now CLARITY, where confusion existed. There is PURPOSE where once was WONDERING and over-thinking.
The WAY to find your purpose is NO WAY. It all comes down to energy .. to that life source … to Vitality, the “essence of life”. The source for this brave discovery you intend to make is from the whispering of your heart.
You will experience more joy .. snd more inspiration when you listen to and follow the guidance of your heart. Here’s the challenge: you need to not only listen, but listen, WELL.
Energy is your fuel and you can find this energy to live … to live out your dream 😴 with purpose and meaning. The next step is to explore creative and new ways of expressing and sharing this energy of creativity that comes from within.
My fridge magnet.
Have courage. Continue to fuel your courage … every single day of your life.
Embracing Passionate Living.
I’ve helped hundreds … no, thousands of individuals for close to 30 years now, many of these people the top of their fields … very successful in their own right.
But, I have noticed that sometimes, at the top of their success wave, some of these individuals acted and felt as if there was still something missing in their lives.
I heard many reasons why they felt that way. I strongly felt (for some of them), that they were feeling that way because they were trying to stay with the one thing they thought they were meant to be doing.
I felt that this way of thinking 🤔 was a self-imposed ceiling … a self-limiting belief … that blocked their journey towards reaching their full potential.
I don’t just consider myself – an enthusiastic World-Class Problem Solver or a 2 x World Natural Physique Champion … I actually wear many hats and play many roles … so apart from being a husband of 20 + Years and father to two kids …. I create.
I love creating through many mediums of expression: I actually create in multi-media, I sculpt, I design, I write (blogs & poetry & books), I coach, I conduct virtual talks & seminars, I design & create my podcast, I fine-line sketch, I educate and share “coaching conversations”, I dance & I do martial arts 🥋, and share NUGGETS OF VITALITY … but most of all …
I continue to DREAM 😴… and fuel my IMAGINATION. My goal is always to not only continue to imagine, but to IMAGINE, BETTER.
All of these constant daily activities brings me joy and helps express my PASSION FOR CREATING.
Here’s a little secret to living a BETTER LIFE: consider learning to and embracing PASSIONATE LIVING. Work towards doing what you truly enjoy doing and this, I believe, will guide your path towards finding Purpose.
Sometimes, you need to simply jump in and giving things a try. Sometimes, we just need to shoot before we take aim. Sometimes, picturing yourself after having “giving it a go”‘and thinking or saying our loud –
“Just DID IT!”
Would bring you an amazing sense of satisfaction. It is the DOING and the courage required & summoned that is the way to overcome the feeling that you are missing out on life.
Not a nice feeling at all.
One of my Top Students to have not only achieved and exceed her initial goals but has gone on to share and guide others with the education she learned from me & my programs.
There are endless opportunities in life and is only limited by your imagination.
And through this discovery, through this courageous Viking/Pirate adventure, you will also realise that it is a JOURNEY TO LOVE 💕. It is this journey that is the process of becoming increased AWARENESS , to fully be AWARE of this flow of the essence of Life .. of this Vitality … this Energy from your heart.
Here’s my tip: BE MORE LIKE A VIKING and/or PIRATE 🏴☠️.
This energy … you won’t see it … and it is not something that is tangible as what you can taste, smell, weigh …
It is more something that you FEEL… that comes from within … something INTANGIBLE.
Be awake when that message comes.
All the very best in being more like a Pirate & Viking… as you sail and Captain your ship through the changing seas of life.
Cheers & ahoy!
The old cap’n Viking Pirate 🏴☠️ muscled monk
Find the Viking… or Pirate in you. It is there, embrace it and … sail your ship towards your purpose.
Guilt. Repent from your heart. Your soul. Find your authentic self again.
Repentance.
Do you practise repentance? Why? Why not?
When you’ve done something wrong and/or have wronged someone, you firstly need to take FULL responsibility for it.
You Repent.
You repent because you realise that, that inexcusable wrong can be judged or forgiven. Inexcusable wrongs can never be understood and overlooked. Fake Repentant people seek and beg for forgiveness, with no thought of deserving it.
Yes, you read that right, they don’t deserve it.
That is not fair – to the person that has been wronged and not fair for the person who has wronged.
To gain trust back, perpetrators need to own their “inconvenient truth” (to borrow a phrase from US Vice President Al Gore).
Truly Repentant people are people who finally understand God’s amazing grace. When you truly seek repentance, know you need only to confess to experience the forgiveness from God Almighty.
Forgiveness is ALWAYS there in infinite supply.
My family. My dog: “Mr Fuzzy/Fussy cuddles” is missing
Selfish Choices.
Recently, I got into a very big argument with my wife of twenty years. It was probably the biggest blue we’ve had in our time together. It involved her and my family. To get straight to the point, I was an Asshole … well, okay, I was a HUUGGE Asshole! I even called myself one during the fight.
Alcohol was involved. Correction: excessive alcohol was involved.
On reflection, it is quite obvious that I was being a selfish prick! Yep, you read that right. I was being a thoughtless spouse. And here I was imagining that on my deathbed, my children and wife will remember me for many things but for mostly being the most THOUGHTFUL human being they have ever known.
After this incident, that dream/imagination may not manifest into reality. I fucked up, and my selfish choice was not “thoughtful “. I simply fucked up!
You see, whether we are adulterers or thoughtless spouses (like me, in this instance), the problem with all of us is one of perspective. Instead of thinking of our thoughtlessness (in words or actions/deeds) as INEXCUSABLE SELFISH CHOICES, we stubbornly regard our interpersonal failures as UNDERSTANDABLE MISTAKES. Understandable mistakes, can you believe that?! It comes down to a small but significant factor of perspective, or the way we view something.
And in my recent case: I clearly made a selfish choice and my perspective was NOT the right one.
To find your Authentic self, you need to embrace your demons
Seek to understand first.
I’m not one for giving excuses or listening to excuses, but during and after that big argument, I found myself giving excuses. It just rolled out of my tongue and the strange thing was that I was fully aware of this roll-out while it was happening. And here’s the catch: I did not stop this conveyor belt of excuses.
When I reflect, I realise that excuse-making has been a part of almost every area of life that has humans participating. Excuse-making has been a natural tendency in people since, I guess, Adam blamed Even for eating the apple and … Eve blamed the Snake for persuading her. It’s been around for a long while.
I guess, without some form of self-justification, we are forced to look at ourselves in the mirror, just as we truly are … not necessarily, the image the mirror reflects.
Now, based on how I argued in that fight, the standards I adhered to fell very short of God’s standards. My actions and words deserved punishment.
I read somewhere that a wise person seeks to understand before wanting to be understood.
That is something I need to improve in my life. What about yours?
What does your mirror reflect of you? What if it reflected who you really are? What would it reflect? What feedback would your emotional and logical minds give you? Would they reinforce each other? Would this spark Fears and would those fears escalate? How would you control them? Tip: take responsibility.
Joy evolves from misery.
When we really look at ourselves in the mirror and truly see ourselves as we are, would we accept our status as sinners.
And what are sinners? Sinners, like me, are worthy of judgement. We are powerless to improve ourselves … and are humbled that our best deeds provide no defence.
That is how Joy evolves from misery. Throughout my experience and learning from other people’s experiences, I’ve learned that those who make themselves naked and vulnerable and basically more human, are the ones who get the most trust.
Or at least, get part of or most of the lost trust back.
It is through the process of embracing genuine nakedness, humility and vulnerability, that you find your AUTHENTIC SELF.
I believe, moving closer to your authentic self is not only where life BEGINS but also …. Where JOY blooms and your GROWTH CONTINUES.
Now, as a Physique Artist, I regularly strip down to a pair of “g-strings” on stage, under very strong lights to display the ‘flow of muscles’ … and ‘paint a picture of moving art’, using my sculpted physique, from my heart … to the hearts of the audience.
It is one of the closest you can get to being naked, humble and vulnerable. By being vulnerable, humble and exposed, I find you allow yourself to be more open and transparent. This is important for any relationship. For me and my wife, this is vital. Always has been.
I am an “open book” and this nakedness, this humility, this vulnerableness, demonstrates to her that that I have nothing to hide ( or an impression anyway).
Now, allow yourself to strip yourself of EGO and wear your “G-STRING of YOUR SOUL”. That takes COURAGE. Seek Courage… for without courage, no great achievement is every attainable.
For me, in all my most important relationships, Trust is vital. It is one of the key foundation stones of my 21 year relationship with the most important woman in the world to me- my wife.
I believe Trust is Powerful; it always has been.
ALL the very best to you
Yours in iron, muscles and mind,
Cheers & ahoy from beautiful Sydney, Australia!
Me in my g-strings during Competition in bodybuilding/physique artistry. “Back Double Biceps” in the heat of competition! Change from the gym to the stage is quite significant with management of key variables being extremely important. Placing: 2nd in AustraliaI love this quote. Increasing your awareness is parameters to having clarity and success in your life.
SEARCH. Become the BEST ‘searcher’ you can be.
One day .. you may find ALL the answers you’re seeking for YOUR questions to give ‘meaning’ to your life.
A wonderful book says –
“Seek and ye shall find;
Ask and ye shall receive.”
True.
Did you have a father that invested a great deal of time and energy in to your life? Or was he in the shadows … or almost never around.
In my 7 years of owning and managing my Family Gym, I came to really know men from all backgrounds and status in society. My gym membership was about 70% male.
Over time, I came to notice correlations and strong causation between their behaviour as grown men and their relationship with their dads in their childhood. It didn’t matter which race, culture or status, there were some strong connections.
Can you see “me” in my son? Can you see you in your son?
Happy Men & Not-so-happy Men.
Do you consider yourself a “Happy Man?”
Who are the happiest Men in society? Not by any kind of horizontal segmentation but as a species – “male”.
I think there are Happy Men and the not-so-happy men in our modern-day societies.
Experience has indicated that the men who are the happiest and most content in the masculine role today are those whose fathers put in the time and effort in their upbringing. And continue to do so.
I’ll refer to them as the “Happy Dads” in society.
These Happy Dads had dads who were around to begin with. Dads that were committed to maintaining a positive, nurturing, encouraging relationship with their sons. These Fathers of Happy Dads provided that secure foundation and supported their sons in their ups and downs.
The sons (Happy Dads) had support from their Fathers with their careers and decisions they made and acknowledged their achievements.
These Happy Dads had dads that were just “there for them”. No excuses, full-stop!
Time spent with your young man is NEVER bad use of your time.
RETURN ON INVESTMENT (ROI)
That consistent loving time spent with their sons (not “quality “‘time), paid off … in time. These Father’s sons, who the the Happy Dads of today are, I believe, among the most well-adjusted and peaceful husbands and fathers in our modern-day societies.
Are they increasing? Are they easily recognised?
Does he look like you? Your friend, maybe?
Like Father-like-son. I think I am a Happy Man… mostly. Are you?
MINORITY RULE.
I believe these well-adjusted and peaceful husbands and fathers is and has been on the decline. They could be safely said to be in the “minority “.
Normally, I would say that in a democratic society, the majority should rule. In this instance, I believe that this minority should rule … these men should be the norm and not rare and abnormal.
We need these types of men … Happy Dads … to flourish again and increase.
What do we do? How do we go about this?
I believe it is up to me, you and … all the current dads/fathers reading this and out there with young sons… to commit to these young impressionable souls.
The majority of men today are struggling to recover from relationships with fathers who failed to nurture, affirm and validate them at some level … or all levels.
These sons (who are now fathers/dads/husbands themselves), are left with a legacy of pain, confusion, frustration, anxiety, bitterness, fear & anger. A lot of these men never had a choice in having their father in their lives as the mothers decided to bring them up as single parent.
I believe a big percentage of These adult sons are the angry men of our societies.
We need to stop rearing angry men.
If you’re part of the minority that is, the Happy Men, congratulations 🎉! Go and give your old man a hug and tell him you love him…. and just give him thanks for being there for you through your tumultuous years of youth.
You probably already do … and have.
That’s what Happy Men do.
Cheerio for now, Until next time …
Learning and absorbing our habits every single day of their initial phase of their lives is what our young Princes do. Teach them well. My gritty Warrior Viking Pirate 🏴☠️ prince 🤴
The “Most Muscular” (HULK) pose in the sport of Body-building. Roaarrr!!!
We all get angry now and then.
That’s something everyone reading this blog and every citizen of the world have in common. I have always been fascinated with the Marvel Universe characters, one of which is the “Hulk”. To a little extent, I like to imagine that every person has a super-hero in them. That we all have some superhero power.
In this blog, I would argue that there is a Hulk in every one of us.
What’s important is not that we all have that Hulk that could awaken at a moment’s notice but that we get better at managing that Hulk – that anger. Knowing when to unleash your Hulk.
You see, in dealing with thousands of people of all ages in all walks of life in more than two decades in the gym environment, one of the observations I have made is that different people use anger to hide different feelings. The interesting thing is that a lot of times a lot of people don’t know the real reason they are angry.
Think about you when you get angry. Do you use anger to cover different emotions at different times?
Having children brings out the best in every parent and I think many, if not all parents reading this would agree. This includes the best of ‘anger’ too. Having children teaches you many things, one of which is patience and your tolerance for it. “Zachary, can you stop kicking the car seat please!” and then a few minutes later … “For the hundredth time, Zachary, stop kicking the car seat please!”.
Your patience is constantly tested by your children as you do your best to control that lever that releases the Hulk or anger. It is a daily constant battle at times.
Two principles of building muscle: 1) Simplicity and 2} Continuity. Become aware; Apply action: Adapt accordingly.
In this phase of his life, my son’s curiosity encourages him to push limits – push beyond his own physical, mental and emotional limits and also push us – my wife and I, beyond our limits too. An interesting phase in our lives to say the least.
I have learned that, as parents, we MUST be permissive to our children’s feelings while setting limits to their action, when appropriate. One of the problems most, if not, all parents face is: when to use discipline and when to GIVE IN; when to be firm and when to be easy; when to give TOUGH LOVE and when to show CARE AND EMPATHY.
At one point or another, we all find ourselves asking ourselves the question: “Is this the moment to be accepting and empathise so that my child will not be afraid of his feelings?” or “should I put my foot down so he understands that he cannot get away with this?”
What I have found is that there are NO SET RULES TO FOLLOW.
Each situation must be handled separately but this is not as difficult as it sounds.
As an owner of a gym for 7 years, I found myself constantly resolving conflicts – conflicts between members, conflicts between members and their family members, internal conflicts of members and conflicts in general. What I found was that the first response I chose to a situation SET THE TONE for how traumatically an event will be taken. I have also found that this is a very good approach to keep in mind when dealing with children too.
It seems to work with my ability to manage conflicts with my two kids.
When one of my children is hurting, I have found that compounding it by reacting with angry words or action (and letting the HULK out) does not add to the solution. Instead, responding with initial softness and empathy, helps more. I think it allows the child to see that if me or my wife (Dad or mum) aren’t panicking, maybe, just maybe, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
The philosophy you follow heavily influences whether you achieve your goals in life or not.
Where does this ability to be permissive and initiate softness and keep from panicking come from? It comes from WITHIN. The same place the HULK lies dormant. It is a choice. It is a choice that is made by you, the parent, in the good times – the quiet times. That is the best time. The best time to decide on how you respond to a child’s mis-behaviour.
Because if you didn’t decide on such an approach/response or similar, then chaos would prevail and anger or the Hulk will be default system you will react on. There isn’t time to think about ways to prevent a fire, in the MIDDLE OF A FIRE!
If you’re religious, you will believe that GOD works all things unto good.
So, when difficulty first happens, don’t lecture your children, panic or commence scolding. Allowing them to feel the hurt, the anger and initially responding to their behaviour with calm comforting lays an important foundation. A foundation that will allow them to find value in their experience.
Yes, it is much easier to just release the HULK, but it takes a lot of strength to keep it at bay. Calmness comes from within. For you Christians or members of other religious denominations reading this, calmness comes from God’s word. For those of you not so religiously inclined, think of this calmness as being already a part of you. Part of your “inner-self”.
THERE IS A TIME AND PLACE FOR GENUINE, APPROPRIATE ANGER. There is a time and place to let the HULK out. For instance, most of us would respond to injustice and cruelty with anger. Healthy anger can be channelled towards constructively making our world a better place to live in. Healthy anger can be transmuted when one trains with weights. This is one of the un-sung benefits of weight-training with moderate to heavy weights. When executed properly, negative energy (anger) is transmuted through the iron and replaced with a charge of positive energy and vitality.
Anger or the HULK, when released with the appropriate intensity and direction is very positive and a good thing. This is partly because painful trials or conflicts that challenge the threat of the release of our anger/the HULK, produces something encouraging. It produces maturity and growth.
This maturity and growth ultimately leads to LOVE.
Your challenge: become better at controlling the Hulk within. Don’t be afraid to let it out and work on becoming increasingly aware of when to unleash your Hulk. But, only release your Hulk – when appropriate, and with a proportional response.
Changing lives. Empowering people. One life at a time. 
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