In whatever goal you desire, you need to make sure you understand how to use the tools š necessary to bring about the change you seek. One of the places I āwithdraw ā to ā¦ one of my top 5 āsoulā places. A place where I INFUSE myself with the āessence of life ā – VITALITY.
If youāre an Artist, you may feel the same way, too. Maybe, you donāt think of yourself as an artist šØāšØ but you feel the same way too.
I believe every individual is an Artist, within. We ALL have the ability to CREATE.
Without taking periods of withdrawal, I can feel vexed, angry and out of sorts. If I donāt take this ātime outā ā¦ I can become sullen, depressed.. even hostile and anti-social.
I believe ALL artists NEED to have ādown-timeā. And what is that?
Itās time To DO NOTHING. Yes, do NOTHING!Adopting and defending the RIGHT to DO JUST THAT – NOTHING. Doing nothing is NOT Trivial matter.
Itās not easy to do because everyone around you ā¦ the rest of the world is on a ābusyā paradigm.
Do you dance?
Do you sing?
Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moon-light?
Sense of SELF.
To love and live this VALUE, it takes COURAGE, CONVICTION and a good dose of RESILIENCE. A lot of times, this time, space & quietā¦ strikes family and friends as WITHDRAWAL ā¦ from them.
It IS.
This could fall into the categories of being an āassholeā
So be it.
I believe everyone is so concerned with being VIRTUOUSā¦. ALL caught up in the VIRTUE TRAP.
Sometimes, this is ESSENTIAL to being your BEST. Producing your BEST work. There are powerful pay-offs to be found in staying stuck ā¦ and deferring nurturing your SENSE OF SELF.
Sometimes.
Like you, I strive to be good, to be nice, to be helpful, to be unselfish. Like most people, I want to be generous, of service, of the world.
But hereās the thing: sometimesā¦ what I REALLY WANT is to be LEFT ALONE.
And I am very blessed
Because almost all the time,
Those that I find most valuable, GIVE me that. They understand. Itās important for me ā¦ it allows me to re-chargeā¦ to re-energise ā¦ to re-calibrateā¦. To Re-thinkā¦. To Think more effectively.
Hiding away. Withdrawal from others isnāt a bad thing. It does not make you less virtuous. It does not make you bad. What it does do is ā¦ re-energiseā¦ re-vitalise ā¦ re-charge YOU, so that you give the BEST of YOU to those that need you.
ā fine-lines with Black fine-nib pens on white paper
ā the human physique by playing with Dumbells, energy inputs, processes and imagination
ā Lifestyle variables to DESIGN TAILORED LIFE & LIFESTYLE SOLUTIONS for individuals
ā Consciousness to āseeā what many do not in the current & future
First and foremost, I AM AN ARTIST šØāšØā¦
Of LIFE.
I may need a different mix of chaos & order ā¦ a more challenging mix of comfort & discomfort ā¦ a varying mix of stability & flow compared to more ānormal ā people.
People may find it weird, but ā¦
Thatās ok.
I see life as an very large experiment made up of many smaller experiments. I refer to these experiments as experiences.
And I Am ā¦ the Scientist at heartā¦ with an artistic soul.
I practise the Art of Physique Artistry/sculpting. The Art of the building towards better BALANCE & SYMMETRY with the OPTIMAL FLOW of MUSCLES.
WHAT WORKS For ME.
I remind myself that I must experiment with WHAT WORKS FOR ME.
As an Artist šØāšØ, money does not validate my credibility.
As an Artist, my credibility lies WITH ME, GOD & My WORK. In other words, if I write a Blog ā¦ a poem ā¦ if I sketch āļø a fine-like picture of beautiful building architecture ā¦ then, I write or draw – whether it will sell or not.
Since my Artist is a child, the natural CHILD WITHINā¦ I try to make some compromises to its sense of timing.
Timing is important ā¦ a characteristic that is not given itās fair due.
Many times I will write poorlyā¦ draw badly ā¦ sculpt awfully ā¦ perform poorly. I allow myself to do this ā¦ to get to the OTHER SIDE. The side that spurns creative thought ā¦
In my experience, IMAGINATION & CREATIVITY is itās OWN REWARD.
I have been and am, continually in awe of the wonders & daily little miracles in life ā¦ of Life, itself.
One of My jobs is to continue to be in awe of the wonders of life and retain my CURIOSITYā¦ to ALWAYS DEEPEN my understanding and increase AWARENESS of the MYSTERY of LIFE.
I love photography Art, especially of Flowers š.
As an Artist, my sense of self respect comes from my belief that I am created in the image of God, my internal reflection and from DOING THE WORK.
What work?
My work ā¦
One fine-line-sketch -at-a-time, one set of exercise at a time, one poem at-a-time, one blog-at-a-time ā¦ one dream at-a-time. Five years working on a lifestyle proto-type, 10 years working on an entrepreneurial adventure, a lifetime pursuing a dream that takes a lifetime.
As an Artist, making money is not what drives me. I do not need to be extremely wealthy & rich but I do need to be RICHLY SUPPORTED by those who love & BELIEVE in me.
My CURIOSITY NEEDS to be fueled for my intellectual, spiritual & philosophical needs. These needs as well as my insatiable physical & emotional needs have to be continually fed to continuously EVOLVE.
I must ā¦
Never allow these needs to be stagnant, for this will show in my work. If will show In my life. It will show In my temperament. ā¦
ā¦ In my aura, my vitality.. my life force.
It is very important that I keep moving ā¦. As this allows me to CREATE.
I need to CREATE to express my love for life ā¦ of life . If I fail to create, I get moody.
Nobody likes a moody – me.
In order to CREATE I must stretch the boundaries ā¦ making new laws ā¦ encouraging novel ways of looking at things ā¦ and not necessarily following the existing laws and staying within the current boundaries.
First, I must BREAK ALL THE RULES.
As an Creative Artist, I need to continually FEED and NURTURE my ARTIST CHILDā¦ for the more I nurture this INNER CHILD, the more ADULT i am able to appear.
Through the right plan, positive mental attitude, Brad applies principles of my program towards being a lot more who he already is (the BEST he can be)
There is a CONNECTION between SELF-NUTURE & SELF-RESPECT.
When I allow myself to be bullied (very seldom), and somewhat allow to be forced by other peoplesā need for me to conform ā¦ to be more normal or more nice, I lose myself.
Sometimes I do. I lose my – Self.
I allow myself to succumb to the whims of the ordinary man, to be ordinary like the ordinary. Something My inner fibre of being just does not agree with.
I sabotage my CHILD ARTIST.
For when I am not creating, I am not a very nice person to be around. I am certainly not ānormalā or very nice – go myself or to others. Many say I am āweirdā.
So be it.
In my experience, There is a connection between self-nurture and self-respect.
Be the best you can be for you, first, then by default, everyone gets the best of you.
Vv.
Every time I create something from nothing, I feel the creativity is a spiritual journey. For me, doing the ART WORK is a SPIRITUAL PRACTISE.
To me, there is never a āfinishing lineā or point where I can say that āI have made it!ā
It seems that when I feel I āgot thereā ā¦ āthereā vanishes. Vanishes into thin air. Just like that . In sculpting the physique for example, I have been working towards the elusive holy grail of bodybuilding: balance & symmetry.
Havenāt found it for almost 30 years now.
Every time I create ā¦ I have a piritual journey.
I NEED to keep moving ā¦ like a Spiritual Shark š¦ā¦ if I stop improving, I will sink to the bottom of the Ocean of life and ā¦
Die.
MY WAY like LIFEāS WAY is not the āstraight & narrow pathā as the majority take ā¦ but one instead which is literally āmy wayā
MY WAY is a SPIRAL PATHā¦ not the straight & narrow. My way is a spiral path because I AM an ARTIST, but more importantly, I am created in the image of God.
It is a simple and as complex as that.
As an artist, I am a traveller. In body and in spirit & imagination. I yield to my SPIRITUAL LEADING.
The Creator bestows on us the gift of creative thinking & doing. Our recognition & use of our gifts, given by God, is, in turn, our gift š to God.
When you Accept this DEAL OF A LIFETIMEā¦ I believe it is the beginning of TRUE SELF-ACCEPTANCE.
Give thanks and praise the Lord.
Amen.
FIRST: MOVE INTO THE BODY, HEART ā¤ļø & SOUL.
To move into the body, heart & soul, one must first resolve to ACCEPT that one MUST MOVE OUT OF THE HEAD/MIND.
This is not easy.
Especially in a ābusyā world with a lot of external & internal noise.
I make exercise a key part of my life because I am and have been seeking a form of MOVING or MOBILE MEDITATION. The execution of well-chosen exercises allows me to practise this ā¦ what I call – moving meditation.
This meditation experience puts me squarely IN THE MOMENTā¦ in the NOW.
If I donāt respect the weight and/or donāt focus, I will get injured. I have not gotten injured lifting weights since I began almost 30 years ago.
My goal has always been to seek BALANCE & SYMMETRY in bodyā¦ which translates to balance & symmetry in mind, heart & soul.
Like I said, earlier, many of us (like me), we DO learn by doing. Exercise, for example, is often the impetus that moves us ā¦ moves us from stagnation to inspirationā¦ from seeing problems to opportunities for find solutions ā¦ from self-pity to self-respect & living with dignity.
One of the things we learn is that – I AM Stronger ā¦ WE ARE ā¦ STRONGER THAN WE THOUGHT. From my experience, we learn to have a different worldviewā¦ we learn to look at things with a new Perspective.
And a lot of times, this different perspective is the KEY to experiencing life a little differently ā¦ a little bit better ā¦
With ā¦
Added ā¦
FUN.
Thank you
Yours in care, compassion & trust,
P.
I love fine-line pen š sketching. No pencil, no rubber. Black pen strokes. Can you spot the āmistakes?ā
No one can play āyouā better than – YOU. Be, You.
Reactionary.
All human behaviour is fundamentally, REACTIONARY.
We are ALWAYS Reacting to something or someone. Many businesses thrive on this Reaction and the predictive futures of this reaction.
We stop reacting when we are dead. Have you observed people who have āstoppedā. Theyāre like walking zombies ā¦ they effectively live like they were dead!
Not healthy. Not recommended.
So, I believe ALL human thinking is, in a way, reactionary.
And we, as individuals, as communities, as nations ā¦ have to react to accepted ideas propagated by those who control communication platforms.
A yellow door maybe? Perhaps you like the colour yellow.
What is your colour blind?
Progress.
Hereās one accepted idea: PROGRESS.
What does that mean?
You hear it regularly thrown about by large corporations as they exploit the resources of developing and poorer nations. As they force archaic working policies on our fellow civil citizens. And their request: that we just stand by idly and accept.
Without a voice. Without a reaction.
Progress in technology ā¦ progress in pollutionā¦ progress in pornography ā¦ progress in freedom of speechā¦ progress in behaviour ā¦ and so forthā¦ are not All that good.
Well, because the HUMAN NATURE does not change. The term āprogressā is a human invention. There is no evolution in the human character and ā¦ in the human mind. Human Relationships still take time to form.
Does that mean that you need to stop the change?
No.
Change, in itself, is not necessarily good. Just like stability. Change can be good or bad, just like stability can be good or bad.
Everything in our lives ā¦ our human life ā¦ every problem is a question of Quality and not quantity.
And yet, the progress has technology and importance of numbers and logic is of paramount importance. This is a very distorted approach to viewing progress as it primarily uses a very deductive and logical framework. At the expense of intuition, of matters of the heart. Of feelings.
All for the sake of Progress.
As part of a healthy inclusive discussion, we should be encouraged to listen to all sides of anything or anyone claiming that something should be adopted.
The pros and cons of the idea or creation or technology should be debated and āthrashed outā before it is implemented.
This should be a normal part of any healthy discussion.
Letās look at one example:
Where is your “Hulk?” The Hulk is very reactionary and he expresses his ANGER in a very destructive way.
Positive anger is also termed āConstructive anger,” Also known as passion.
People with passion is reverred.
Throughout historyā¦
Passion has overthrown tyrants and freed prisoners and slaves.
Passion has brought justice where there was injustice.
Passion has brought kindness & care where there was savagery.
Passion has created freedom where there was nothing but fear.
Passion has helped souls rise from the ashes of their horrible lives and build something better, stronger, more beautiful.
Passion is that fire š„ that grows into lasting
Hope and faith that there will be a
ā¦ better tomorrow.
Soā¦ it is what we choose to do with that inner fire š„ is what matters
And ā¦
We should not be afraid to express it ā¦
So as to react to and question all ideas that sprouts āprogress ā as their mantra.
Not everything that says is contributing to āprogressā is necessarily good for you.
We should all be wary about just accepting all the benefits espoused by new technology and not sitting down to discuss the limitations or risks in the short & long-term.
I AM.
I an Entrepreneur of IMAGINATION.
Through Mastery of Self, I am able to be an Agent of Creative Destruction to allow the release of new ideas … new thinking … and a new Meaning.
Meaning is the NEW MONEY.
Coaching conversations..
Over the years I have listened to many individuals. Listened to their stories.
Over the years I think I have had in excess of twenty thousand conversations with people of all ages. From teens to ninety-year olds.
Over the years I have had many coaching conversations. In these coaching conversations, I have helped increase individuals awareness of how their perception of events in their lives either propel them forward or hold them back.
I have listened to others and the way in which the stories they tell ourselves have the power to hold us back or propel us forward.
As an example ā¦
The bottom line is that I wouldnāt be the person I am today if my hearing hadnāt been terrible when I was young. Neither would you.
This is why taking the time to properly frame our narratives and the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves can be so critical.
Keep your dreams alive .
Snd if youāre going to dream … Dream BIG.
You serve no one by being and thinking small.
Think BIG!
Re-frame in away to move forward ..
Self-pity for being dealt a bad hand is easy.
Self-awareness is what brings with it empowerment and insight.
This, important first step is sometimes hard.
The first turns your past into an anchor, while the second turns it into the wind that fills your sails and keeps you moving forward.
Is there some piece of your story, personal or professional, that youāve been able to reframe in a way that moves you forward, instead of holding you back?
Wonderful question for all to ponder. Iām one of the most self-aware person you will ever meet, but that is nothing new to me as I have been this way since I was a kid (from the adults who knew me in my youth).
Everything happens for a reason. Success is not an accident. It is based on the Aristotelian Principle of CAUSALITY. Today, we call it – āthe Law of CAUSE & EFFECT.ā
Cowboy š¤ House.
Hereās one Iād like to share – I was raised by my grandparents as my biological Dad died when I was 4 years old, trying to save a person from downing ā¦ and was overpowered by the victim and drowning with that person). My biological mother was only 16 and had a choice to have an abortion but I thank her and God that she didnāt.
Her decision to give me life has allowed me to not only live but to do what I do – predominantly, helped people, help themselves building their bridges from where they are to where they desire to be over the last 3 decades.
Anyways, I grew up in a large extended family – grandparents, grand uncles and aunties, uncles, aunties, cousins and siblings and ā¦ visitors and extended family visiting.
My home was always full and was always noisy. Our neighbours used to call our home – the āCowboy Houseā.
We didnāt have much of anything – food (there were no less than 10 people to feed every single day ā¦ and I do not know how my grandparents managed to do this), didnāt have much material possessions (my grandmother used to sew my school uniforms) ā¦ but the home certainly had a lot of love.
There was a lot of storytelling and sitting around talking almost every night. It was just part of the home ā¦ part of the culture.
Because there was so much noise, most kids would not be able to concentrate/focus. But, I told myself way back in early Primary School that I will teach myself to study/do school work/read in ā¦ noise.
My teachers couldnāt understand how a kid (me) could get Top Academic Results every year.
Most kids/people need peace and quiet to FOCUS, so we are told. āHow does Paul do it?ā I would over hear some teachers say. In my adult life, I have continued to learn/read/focus in any environment, no matter how noisy or ridiculous is.
The only photo I have as a baby with my biological mum. One of my 3 Mums in my life.
Focus on what you can control
I remember my grandfather telling me many things (he was a very wise man) ā¦ saying something to the effect –
āPaul, focus on what you can control ā¦ and do the best with what youāve got ā¦ donāt be part of the problem, always be part of the solutionā.
Iāve always applied that in my life, not focusing on insufficient resources and constraints .,. But on HOW I can do better with what I have. That philosophy along with many others, has helped me create the life Iāve always imagined and realise short-term and long-term goals.
Growing up in an family environment that had very limited resources (except for love ā¦ the home was always infused with LOVE), has allowed me to almost always have an overall attitude of personal optimism and enthusiasm.
I completely understand the psychosomatic relationship – psyche and soma – mind and body ā¦ better than most (hence sculpting a Physique worthy of representing Australia at 2 x World Natural Physique Championships and placing in the Top 5 in consecutive years).
I am fully aware of how the body is the physical manifestation of the mind or in other words, the body expresses what the mind is concerned with. Iām a strong believer that life is many things ā¦ and one of which is that life is a self-fulfilling prophecyā¦. That you usually get what you expect.
My ātoughā upbringing has allowed me to develop a healthy self-expectancy and eliminated all forms of excuse from my vocabulary as ā¦ I expect to win, almost all the time. I have no doubt the so-called āluckā is the intersection of preparation and awareness.
Leadership ability begins in the home … children learn character building in the home
Be the best character you can be … for YOU, first .. and then for your kids
my two children a number of years ago
Life ā¦ a very real game but not a gamble.
I look at life as a very real game .. but not a gamble.
Part of what I have done over the last 3 decades is help people, help themselves build their bridges. I have learned and taught many things. It seems that every individual tends to receive what he or she expects in the long run.
From my experience and deducing from other peopleās experiences in my life so far ā¦ it would appear that you may or may not get what is coming to you, or you may or may not get what you deserve – BUT YOU WILL nearly always get what you expect.
As someone who has mastered the art of body re-engineering (building muscle and reducing body fat to < 4%), believe me when I say, there is an intricately close connection between your mind and body ā¦ a negative thought can cause your ālookā (that you get judged on) to go from excellent (Top 5 and finalist) to awful.
Iāve learned and mastered much of the āmind-body-heart-soulā interface connections and one important one is this – mental obsessions have physical manifestations. Basically, you BECOME WHAT YOU FEAR – you get what you expect – you are that which you expect to be!
Hereās the thing – since all individuals are responsible for their own actions and cause their own effects, optimism then, is a choice.
Choose well, my adult friends.
Balance & symmetry brings you closer to harmony … to beauty …closer to infinity. Just like mathematics does
Optimism, Enthusiasm, Faith & Hope.
What is needed is : continual fueling of – OPTIMISM, ENTHUSIASM, FAITH & HOPE.
Each is a synonym for – having a HEALTHY SELF-EXPECTANCY.
So, my question to you (if youāve made it this far) is –
1. Do you have a healthy self-expectancy about things in your life?
2. Do you expect the best for you – in life and as a way of life?
3. Do you look at problems/constraints as opportunities?
With regards to question 3 above, try this little exercise and let me know your answers –
Make a list of your KEY problems/constraints –
> the ones that block your professional and personal fulfillment.
> Next, write a one-or-two sentence definition of each problem/constraint.
Now, rewrite the definition, only this time view it as an opportunity or exercise to challenge your creativity and ingenuity (some refer to it as āre-framingā).
Hereās a tip: view the solution as you would if you were advising one of your best friends.
So, where does your thoughts stand in relation to your Self-Expectancy now?
Write in and tell me all about it.
Thank you
Yours in care, compassion & trust,
Paul
A fridge magnet š§² I bought almost 20 years ago.
Practise this.
White & Black Lies should be minimised in families.
Withholding Truth
Gāday & Bula & good morning/evening to YOU wherever YOU are in this beautiful planet š!
I was thinking š¤ about life, as I usually do & the concept of ātruthā in particular and lies as well as they seem to be two sides of the same coin.
Lying š¤„, we all do it and have done it over the course of our lives so far.
We lie to others & we lie to ourselves. I guess we could split lies up in to two main types:
1. White lies
2. Black lies.
The šalentine tribe (minus our dog š¶ – Mr Fuzzy/Fussy cuddles. As parents we try to be as truthful to our children.
White Lies & Black Lies.
A black Lie, as I see it, could be defined as a statement we make we know is false. A white lie is a statement that we make that is not in itself false but that leaves out a significant part of the truth.
I think white lies can often be more destructive than black-lying. Think š about it, we all do it almost every single day of our lives , as we consider white-lying more socially acceptable in many of our relationships because we ādonāt want to hurt peopleās feelings.ā
Yet, people complain that their social relationships are generally superficial. Is this the right thing to teach our kids – that, as parents, part of being loving is feeding them heaps of white lies?
Is it right and truly beneficial for the children to not be told the cold truths about matters of life? Should parents continue (& I see this happening every day and have witnessed in many families over the last 3 decades of keen interest) āwhite-lying?ā
So, parents tell each other everything but feed their children white lies. For example, that they fought with each other the night before about their relationship, or that their dad resents their grandparents for their manipulativeness & lack of caring over the years or that mum has a medical problem.
Rational behind white lies is – a loving desire to protect & shield their children from unnecessary worries.
This is a hard one āļø as love š is just too large, too deep even, in my opinion, to be truly understood or measured or limited within a framework of words.
The bible tries to explain what love is but I donāt think š¤ or at least I havenāt come across a truly satisfactory definition of love.
I know what love is not!
Contrary to what weāve been told , love is not a feeling.(I will elaborate on what l mean another time)
I think love comes down to the desire to nurture oneās own or anotherās spiritual growth. And this takes discipline, lots of discipline.
Discipline that needs to be constantly disciplined.
I used to tell people that if I made that person I see in the mirror better than, last week, than last month, than last year ā¦ in ten years I will be on the World Stage, standing and competing against the best in the world.ā
Within ten years, I stood on stage against the best natural bodybuilders at that time, representing Australia. A Big Dream, come true. I repeated the feat the following year for good measure. As a great mentor once said ā
āIf you think you can, youāre right ā¦ you CAN.ā
Donāt ever laugh at another personās dream, no matter how far-fetched it is.
Does the shape of the door affect what is inside?
Why does colour matter?
Why do we need doors?
2.5 Disagree with people, if you must but donāt hate them.
Itās ok agree to disagree and still like someone.
In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling and personal judgements. Leave judgemental comments to God or people who have a profession as a Judge.
Shit happens. Stand your ground. Donāt be afraid.
So, there you goā¦ 2.5 lessons. ā0.5ā as the list is far from exhaustive. Iām sure your can add many more to it from your observations of life so far.
Until next time, take good care of your lovely self
Yours in care, compassion & trust,
Paul.
A yellow door maybe? Perhaps you like the colour yellow.
What is your colour blind?
Why has society demonised anger? Why is it that we (especially Men) cannot and not encouraged to āget angry?ā This is hammered into men right from when we are toddlers. Why? Why have we only focused on the destructive results of anger?
It is just as much a valid emotion as being happy, sad, excited, joyful etc.
Yes, thatās right, he has been a great friend. Not a lovey-dovey friend, not a particularly nice friend, far from being a gentle friend. No, anger ā¦ is a very, veery very LOYAL friend.
Anger has always been there with and FOR āmeā. Anger loyalty reminds me with ease when i have betrayed myself enough. It is there to stop anyone or anything from taking advantage of me, beyond what is reasonable.
āReasonable ā here would refer to my imaginary boundaries/tolerance limits of certain suffering.
To me, Anger is fuel. This is a KEY aspect of the power of a loyal friend.
Anger,
I love this quote. Increasing your awareness is parameters to having clarity and success in your life.
SEARCH. Become the BEST ‘searcher’ you can be.
One day .. you may find ALL the answers you’re seeking for YOUR questions to give ‘meaning’ to your life.
A wonderful book says –
“Seek and ye shall find;
Ask and ye shall receive.”
True.
This friend loves me.
This friend LOVES ME.
And, I have come to love this friend, all the way back to consciously recognising him when I was about 9 years old.
Yes, it is a form of powerā¦ a powerful energy. When we feel it, we almost always want yo do something about it – hit someone, throw something, break or smash something, punch a wall or spew out profanities to the person.
Why do we do everything to it ā¦ except LISTEN to it. I mean, we are taught to ā¦ deny it, bury it, hide it, lie about it, medicate it, ignore it or simply muffle it.
Why donāt we just allow ourselves to feel and express it just like we do with other feelings?
Anger not only summons courage, but it points the finger and shows the wayā¦ an alternative way. To me, anger is a sign of health ā¦ good šitality.
Unlike what most of modern societies espouse, I believe anger is a good thing. It means youāre alive. Anger is part of our inner voice ā¦ it is meant to be listened to.
Not ignored.
As fuel, we can embrace the energy of anger to turbo-boost our actions to where our anger points us. Hereās the catch that many struggle with – anger is meant to be ACTED UPON, not ACTED OUT.
Highly likely if youāre one of these, youāll certainly have a healthy relationship with your friend – Anger.
It awakens me.
Re-read that last sentence again. Let it sink in.
Every time I get angry, it reminds me that I am being courageous and expressing something that is pushing me towards my perceived boundaries. Should I tolerate it, extend the boundaries or ā¦ resist.
It AWAKENS me.
It is a a tsunami o that annihilates and with that destruction, signals that death š of our old life. Anger is the springboard that springs you into your new life.
To me, anger is envigorating. It helps INFUSE me with the āessence of lifeā – šitality!
It is a tool, and like all tools, when used in the appropriate manner, allows you to CREATE something with it. It is not something to MASTER. Anger, instead should be something used as a resource .. to be tapped in to and drawn upon.
For example, I have used my loyal gym training partner & friend – āAngerā to accomplish record-breaking lifts & intensity in my workouts . He has always been there. He helps me āclimb mountainsā and achieve small goals in the gym. As a tool, I TRANSMUTE my loyal friend, Anger into the various mediums of Art that I express my love through.
Anger, my loyal friend, has also been the wind under my wings when I need to summon courage to fly.
I cannot live with my loyal friend.
I need him.
Every single day.
Anger, I pray š that you visit me again. Soon. I need you to fill up my senses. As John Denver sings in his song āAnnieā –
ā
You fill up my senses,
Like a night in a forest;
Like mountains in springtime,
Like a walk in the rain;
You fill up my sensors,
Come fill me again;
Come let me love you,
Let me give my love to you;
Let me drown in your laughter,
Let me die in your arms;
Let me lay down beside you,
Let me always be with you;ā
And you should, too.
Embrace your Anger. Make him your friend.
Dance with him. Get to know him again, if you have to.
Let him point and ā¦ show you THE WAY.
Thank you
Until next time,
P.
Maybe all the answers to your questions lie within YOU.
Your mind, your consciousness.
Maybe, it is not about seeking answers but simply asking more questions. Maybe questions are asked simply for discussion and debate … to help fuel our capacity to RE-IMAGINE … a better future.
A future that is NOT based on the doors of the past…/ future based on alternate possibilities of the future.
A Future based on the future, not past.
He died when I was 19. Six years after his wife, my grandmother died.
I spent a big part of early childhood with my grandfather. He didnāt say much but he had many little ācoaching conversationsā when appropriate (I later realised what he was doing after he died in my late teens).
At University (almost 30 years ago now whilst doing my second degree in Accounting/Business Management ), I read a book by the author Ken Blanchard called āthe one minute managerā. I realised then, that the management style my grandfather was using in relation to raising me and the family household, was the same as what the author was espousing in the book.
I cry. I cry for my Dad. I cry inside. I cry for many things. I cry ā¦ invisible tears. Tears that would fill multiple Olympic-sizes swimming pools. I cry for all those suffering from injustices in this world š. I cry out for justice. From God.
A Manās Man.
The best manager I have ever worked for was the CEO/Managing Partner of a Top 20 Accounting & Business Advisory. I was there for about 3 years and was some of the BEST years working as an āemployee ā.
This man, was a Manās Man … a Clint Eastwood demeanour with a Tom Hanks (heart .. when appropriate). His physical presence was intimidating. He was a former Australian ranked boxer and his reputation for results preceded him.
Everyone was scared shitless of him. They trembled in their seats when they heard him coming down the passages and everyone avoided him.
Accept me.
I found him fascinating and I loved him and his management style. I thought about why (after I left) and it was because he reminded me of my grandfather.
I didnāt buy into the fear and the water-cooler stories about him that became part of the Firmās Legendary stories. So, I decided to āget to know himā.
Beauty & Ugliness entwined. there is no beauty without the ugly. there is no right, without the wrong. There is no particle without the wave. There is no logic without the insane. There is no ying, without the yang. Learn to embrace BOTH SIDES OF YOU ā¦& seek BALANCE & SYMMETRY. Through & with GOD.
No need for Sir, call me Bob ā¦
As he walked by the cubicles in the morning, I would yell out – āGood morning Mr E…!ā The other staff couldnāt believe it… I actually spoke out snd greeted him.
The first time … I would hear his footsteps pause and … then continue. The following morning, I did the same. He did the same.
On the third day .. he stopped and then said –
āWho is that?ā
I stood up from my cubicle and replied –
āPaul ā¤ļøalentine, sir!ā
He laughed and said –
āNo need for Sir, call me Bob... snd a good morning to you, too.ā
From then on, each time he walked passed by Cubicle, he would call out my name and we would end up having chats. Matter of fact, he preferred me to handle many of his clients and over time, we would become very good friends.
It got to stage where, he would only allow me to interrupt him in any meeting he was in. No one else in the Firm could do that. There was a level of TRUST that he had in me that no one else got.
When he had to āSign offā on Reports and Files … he would go through othersā files with a fine-tuned comb, asking many questions. With mine, he just wanted me to give him the āgistā or executive summary (usually one page of the Risks and my personal assessment)
He would always ask me one question –
āAre you happy with me signing Paul?ā
I would say yes or no.
He would act accordingly.
Who are āYOU?ā
Learn to love ā¤ļø YOU, first.
The One-Minute Manager.
The āone-minute managedā approach is to be very FIRM in your values & principles snd DO NOT compromise on INTEGRITY. EVER.
This is communicated EFFECTIVELY. There is no ambiguity. … ALWAYS communicated CONSISTENTLY, CLEARLY and CONCISELY.
Integrity is what most Good Leaders have. But, RE-INFORCED integrity is what GREAT Leaders have. They NEVER sacrifice their MORALS & ETHICS in ALL that they do & say and say they do.
That is the One-Minute Managerā¦. On Enthusiasm Turbo-Boost. That is what the world needs right now ā¦ more GREAT LEADERS in all KEY areas of life.
āWhat is your message ?ā I ask.
What is the message you leave to the world, when you ā¦ leave this world?
The one-minute manager approach primarily relates to the FEEDBACK being TIMELY and SPECIFIC. For example, when I fuck up with something on a client, I would hear his footsteps come towards my seat. I would feel his presence snd his hand rest on my shoulder (as I looked at my computer screen). I could sense his frustration snd he would say –
āPaul, you fucked up. Learn from it. Donāt do that againā
And then he was off. He was the first to reprimand me and āpull me in lineā as soon as the incident occurred.
The reverse is also true. When I did a great job and exceeded clients expectations, I would hear those same footsteps again …
His hand on my shoulder, looking in my eyes and saying –
āGreat job Paul, well done. Keep it up, son! Take the afternoon off!ā
My salary increases in 6-monthly reviews were in the top and I had one of the best corner cubicles in the Firm. Many other staff were jealous but … I learned that TRUST is one of the foundation stones of any relationship.
Iāve almost always adopted this Management style in almost all my dealings with people, as an employee, managing groups/teams .. and as an Employer, managing egos.
Do you trust – YOU?
Out of interest, what are your top 3 to these :
1. What 3 words describe your Vision for your business?
2. Do you believe in YOU? 3 strengths you have as a Leader?
3. Do you TRUST āyou?ā
4. Do have a need to be ālikedā by everyone? Do you have a need to be āagreeable ā with everyone?
Againā¦.
What is YOUR MESSAGE?
This is one of the KEYS to almost ALL successful communication to any audience: know your message.
With my gritty Viking Pirate š“āā ļø Intelligent, caring & compassionate daughter, Olivia. She has heard me say many stories ā¦ over and over again.
There is Powerš„ in Storytelling.
Iāve always loved storytelling.
I remember sitting with adults when I was a kid, Listening to their stories. They would say –
āPaul, why donāt you go and play with your cousins & friends outsideā
I would reply –
āNo, there will be time to play with them laterā
Iāve listened to hundreds of other peopleās stories when I owned & managed my Family Gym for 7 years.
I love š telling stories.
I believe there is power in storytelling.
My wife and kids. I Storytell until they get fed upā¦ then I know, they know.
It begins in the home.
It begins in the Homeā¦. Practising the art of Storytelling, that is.
Home is where the foundation of storytelling starts. I recall listening to my dad & his close friendās tell stories around the Kava bowl. In the home, I got a strong šŖ foundationā¦ Of a past that lends my existence a place, a sense of belonging, a historical context.
Home is where stories get passed on for generations. I have continued with this šalentine tradition. My two kids can retell the stories I tell .. because they have heard them countless times. And as my daughter says –
āDad, it keeps changing all the timeā
And I say –
āAaaahhhā¦ yes, my dear ā¦ that is where facts and imagination fuse in the optimum placeā
Home is where I was told that I am built like & physically intelligent like my grandfather, Ben Valentine. A powerful & skilful National heavyweight boxing champion, going undefeated for 3 years in his prime.
Home is where I heard stories of my quirkiness from early age & my creative & innovative nature in my early youth. I heard stories of my country of birth through the filter of my own genealogy.
Struggles, family migrations, family triumphs, as well as ancestral successes & failures were taught to me through the history of my šalentine Family.
In my Home now, it is a place where I build my own legacy: through my love š for history & storytelling, I have shared & will share more stories I was told in my youth with my children.
Always, adding my generationās story to this šalentine Novel in progress. Iāve always believed the REAL histories of families arenāt the records of births, deaths & marriages. No, to me ā¦
ā¦ they are the stories told after dinner, while having chocolate or dessert. So full and satisfied.
For i have learned many things so far, and one important one is the importance of LEGACY.
Legacy is fueled by USā¦ in our family. It is fueled by ME. And all this evolves from our historyā¦ our family stories passed down ā¦
I tell my kids that one day they will bear the šalentine torch š¦. They will continue to write their chapters if their lives through their storytelling.
Knowing that they have a very strong identity and they will continue to shine the torch š¦ and build on the legacy that they inheritedā¦
Through the strong foundation of the šalentine Family history through storytelling.
I am still the current Torch Bearer of the šalentine Family and I make a toast to all future Torch Bearers of my family and all families ā¦
Carry the Torch with pride & Live & Die with dignity.
Changing lives. Empowering people. One life at a time. 
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