a better life, accountability, action, adaptation, ageing, anger, anger management, asking questions, attitude, authenticness, awareness, balance, basics of training, beauty, belief, belief systems, better choices, body, breaking points, care empathy, caring, change, change management, chaos, choices, communication, compassion, consciousness, courage, creation, decisions, desire, dreams, ego, examined life, fairness, forgiveness, fundamentals, game of life, genuineness, Goals, goals, God, gratitude, greed, habit, happiness, hope, hulk, Imagination, infinity, information, intimacy, Leader, leaders, leadership, life, long-term perspective, love, needs, no, opportunity, order, patience, perseverance, perspective, recreate, respect, responsibility, risk, self, self discipline, self improvement, self love, self-image, servant, shame, significance, sleep, spirit, spirituality, Strength training, strengths, success, time, truth, truths, wisdom, you, your life

My MISTAKES are ….

ME. Mistake-riddled ME…. But I am happy being IMPERFECTLY PERFECT, just as Jesus Christ was. His life was a great example of what FAILURE was. Not an easy path to follow …. But I will. Because I BELIEVE in JESUS and what he stood for. Just like GOD intended.

… too numerous to list here.

I have made many mistakes. I will try to express it in words like this.

There were many times …

When I should have kept my mouth shut 🤫….

And I had spoken;

When I should have waited …

And I had left;

When I should have been patient …

And I had been haste;

When I should have been more caring & tender ….

But I had been tough;

When I should have faced my fear ….

But instead I had turned my back like a coward;

When I should have gone the extra mile …

But I stopped short;

When I should have been the first one to say “I am sorry “…

But allowed my anger to take over;

When I should have forgiven …

But hung on to resentment that ate me from within;

When I should have asked for help ….

But instead let my ego sabotage the achievement of my goals;

When I should have led

And yet, cowardly followed;

When I should have ran ….

But instead walked;

When I should have told the truth

But instead, lied;

When I should have offered assistance…

But instead wallowed in self-pity;

When I should have prayed to GOD

But instead lacked faith and belief;

When I should have had the strength to say “NO” …

And agreed to gain now and lose in the long-term;

When I should have listened to my heart

But allowed logical thinking to have full sway in decision making;

When I should have been active & engaged …

But instead was aloof and elsewhere but in the moment;

When I should have been more aware of my surroundings and those in my immediate sphere….

And instead was so self-absorbed ;

When at times, I should have been FOCUSED IN ATTENTION…

But instead included unnecessary NOISE;

When I should have reached out and touched someone …

And instead let selfish desires dominate;

When I should have found the lesson

And yet focused on the problem or issue at hand;

When I should have rested & allowed recovery…

But instead ignored trusting my instincts and suffered as a consequence;

When I should have stopped …

But lacked the ability to delay gratification;

There were times when I should have allowed my curiosity to get the better of me;

But instead I blocked my ears

When I should have cried …

But instead smiled and laughed;

When I should have said a few words …

But instead gave a thousand;

When I should have let my unusually strong 💪 stubborn-ness to dig deep;

But instead, succumbed to a feeling of weakness and gave up hope …

And ….

On … and … on … and … on ….

One thing is certain –

There’s still more mistakes to come

Life goes on

One thing that I have learned from making tonnes and tonnes of mistakes … of having experienced so many fuck ups …. Of failing multiple times is …

That I am more COMFORTABLE at tolerating the UNCOMFORTABLE FEELINGS of making a mistake … or fucking up … of failing … of failing …. Of failing. …..

I don’t see mistakes as mistakes anymore … but instead as OPPORTUNITIES to find solutions …. To stretch boundaries …. To DESIGN NEW RULES …. To CREATE something DIFFERENT …. To START ANEW.

I’m unsure of the future …

But I am not concerned;

I will rely on those closest to ME …

And I will share their burdens … as they share mine;

I WILL continue to ..

LIVE & LOVE 💕.. & LEARN … with the understanding that I am IMPERFECTLY PERFECT and …

Until my physical form on earth reaches its finite end and my spiritual self continues into INFINITY…

Because …

I BELIEVE that GOD is ALWAYS WITH ME …

And that makes me FEEL INVINCIBLE.. as I AM GOD … I AM INFINITE.

And YOU ARE TOO … if you believe.

What mistakes have you made?

What have you learned?

Be safe. Keep punching,

P.

ME. Mistakes and … all.

Standard
a better life, accountability, action, adaptation, art, asking questions, attitude, authenticness, awareness, balance, beauty, belief, Beliefs, better choices, care empathy, caring, change, change management, chaos, children, choices, christian, consciousness, courage, creation, creativity, creator, decisions, desire, dreams, Energy, eternity, evolution, examined life, fairness, faith, fundamentals, game of life, Goals, God, grace, gracefullness, habits, heaven, Heretic, hope, Imagination, Jesus, justice, Knowledge, leadership, life, love, real man, recreate, relationships, respect, saviour, self, self discipline, self improvement, self-respect, significance, success, symmetry, synergy, truths, wisdom, you, your life

I AM AN ARTIST.

“ I AM AN ARTIST 👨‍🎨.

For some of us, we learn best by going where we have to go and doing what we have to do.

I CREATE (Art), in a number of ways …

I express my love through many mediums …

I PLAY with –

⁃ words …. In poems, blogs & books

⁃ fine-lines with Black fine-nib pens on white paper

⁃ the human physique by playing with Dumbells, energy inputs, processes and imagination

⁃ Lifestyle variables to DESIGN TAILORED LIFE & LIFESTYLE SOLUTIONS for individuals

⁃ Consciousness to “see” what many do not in the current & future

First and foremost, I AM AN ARTIST 👨‍🎨…

Of LIFE.

I may need a different mix of chaos & order … a more challenging mix of comfort & discomfort … a varying mix of stability & flow compared to more “normal “ people.

People may find it weird, but …

That’s ok.

I see life as an very large experiment made up of many smaller experiments. I refer to these experiments as experiences.

And I Am … the Scientist at heart… with an artistic soul.

I practise the Art of Physique Artistry/sculpting. The Art of the building towards better BALANCE & SYMMETRY with the OPTIMAL FLOW of MUSCLES.

WHAT WORKS For ME.

I remind myself that I must experiment with WHAT WORKS FOR ME.

As an Artist 👨‍🎨, money does not validate my credibility.

As an Artist, my credibility lies WITH ME, GOD & My WORK. In other words, if I write a Blog … a poem … if I sketch ✍️ a fine-like picture of beautiful building architecture … then, I write or draw – whether it will sell or not.

I CREATE what WANTS to be CREATED.

I listen to my soul.

I AM A PERPETUAL CHILD.

Since my Artist is a child, the natural CHILD WITHIN… I try to make some compromises to its sense of timing.

Timing is important … a characteristic that is not given it’s fair due.

Many times I will write poorly… draw badly … sculpt awfully … perform poorly. I allow myself to do this … to get to the OTHER SIDE. The side that spurns creative thought …

In my experience, IMAGINATION & CREATIVITY is it’s OWN REWARD.

I have been and am, continually in awe of the wonders & daily little miracles in life … of Life, itself.

One of My jobs is to continue to be in awe of the wonders of life and retain my CURIOSITY… to ALWAYS DEEPEN my understanding and increase AWARENESS of the MYSTERY of LIFE.

I love photography Art, especially of Flowers 💐.

Sense of self Respect.

As an Artist, my sense of self respect comes from my belief that I am created in the image of God, my internal reflection and from DOING THE WORK.

What work?

My work …

One fine-line-sketch -at-a-time, one set of exercise at a time, one poem at-a-time, one blog-at-a-time … one dream at-a-time. Five years working on a lifestyle proto-type, 10 years working on an entrepreneurial adventure, a lifetime pursuing a dream that takes a lifetime.

As an Artist, making money is not what drives me. I do not need to be extremely wealthy & rich but I do need to be RICHLY SUPPORTED by those who love & BELIEVE in me.

My CURIOSITY NEEDS to be fueled for my intellectual, spiritual & philosophical needs. These needs as well as my insatiable physical & emotional needs have to be continually fed to continuously EVOLVE.

I must …

Never allow these needs to be stagnant, for this will show in my work. If will show In my life. It will show In my temperament. …

… In my aura, my vitality.. my life force.

It is very important that I keep moving …. As this allows me to CREATE.

I need to CREATE to express my love for life … of life . If I fail to create, I get moody.

Nobody likes a moody – me.

In order to CREATE I must stretch the boundaries … making new laws … encouraging novel ways of looking at things … and not necessarily following the existing laws and staying within the current boundaries.

First, I must BREAK ALL THE RULES.

As an Creative Artist, I need to continually FEED and NURTURE my ARTIST CHILD… for the more I nurture this INNER CHILD, the more ADULT i am able to appear.

Through the right plan, positive mental attitude, Brad applies principles of my program towards being a lot more who he already is (the BEST he can be)

There is a CONNECTION between SELF-NUTURE & SELF-RESPECT.

When I allow myself to be bullied (very seldom), and somewhat allow to be forced by other peoples’ need for me to conform … to be more normal or more nice, I lose myself.

Sometimes I do. I lose my – Self.

I allow myself to succumb to the whims of the ordinary man, to be ordinary like the ordinary. Something My inner fibre of being just does not agree with.

I sabotage my CHILD ARTIST.

For when I am not creating, I am not a very nice person to be around. I am certainly not “normal” or very nice – go myself or to others. Many say I am “weird”.

So be it.

In my experience, There is a connection between self-nurture and self-respect.

Be the best you can be for you, first, then by default, everyone gets the best of you. Vv.

Creativity is a SPIRITUAL JOURNEY.

Every time I create something from nothing, I feel the creativity is a spiritual journey. For me, doing the ART WORK is a SPIRITUAL PRACTISE.

To me, there is never a “finishing line” or point where I can say that “I have made it!”

It seems that when I feel I “got there” … “there” vanishes. Vanishes into thin air. Just like that . In sculpting the physique for example, I have been working towards the elusive holy grail of bodybuilding: balance & symmetry.

Haven’t found it for almost 30 years now.

Every time I create … I have a piritual journey.

I NEED to keep moving … like a Spiritual Shark 🦈… if I stop improving, I will sink to the bottom of the Ocean of life and …

Die.

MY WAY like LIFE’S WAY is not the “straight & narrow path” as the majority take … but one instead which is literally “my way”

MY WAY is a SPIRAL PATH… not the straight & narrow. My way is a spiral path because I AM an ARTIST, but more importantly, I am created in the image of God.

It is a simple and as complex as that.

As an artist, I am a traveller. In body and in spirit & imagination. I yield to my SPIRITUAL LEADING.

The Creator bestows on us the gift of creative thinking & doing. Our recognition & use of our gifts, given by God, is, in turn, our gift 💝 to God.

When you Accept this DEAL OF A LIFETIME… I believe it is the beginning of TRUE SELF-ACCEPTANCE.

Give thanks and praise the Lord.

Amen.

FIRST: MOVE INTO THE BODY, HEART ❤️ & SOUL.

To move into the body, heart & soul, one must first resolve to ACCEPT that one MUST MOVE OUT OF THE HEAD/MIND.

This is not easy.

Especially in a “busy” world with a lot of external & internal noise.

I make exercise a key part of my life because I am and have been seeking a form of MOVING or MOBILE MEDITATION. The execution of well-chosen exercises allows me to practise this … what I call – moving meditation.

This meditation experience puts me squarely IN THE MOMENT… in the NOW.

If I don’t respect the weight and/or don’t focus, I will get injured. I have not gotten injured lifting weights since I began almost 30 years ago.

My goal has always been to seek BALANCE & SYMMETRY in body… which translates to balance & symmetry in mind, heart & soul.

Like I said, earlier, many of us (like me), we DO learn by doing. Exercise, for example, is often the impetus that moves us … moves us from stagnation to inspiration… from seeing problems to opportunities for find solutions … from self-pity to self-respect & living with dignity.

One of the things we learn is that – I AM Stronger … WE ARE … STRONGER THAN WE THOUGHT. From my experience, we learn to have a different worldview… we learn to look at things with a new Perspective.

And a lot of times, this different perspective is the KEY to experiencing life a little differently … a little bit better …

With …

Added …

FUN.

Thank you

Yours in care, compassion & trust,

P.

I love fine-line pen 🖊 sketching. No pencil, no rubber. Black pen strokes. Can you spot the “mistakes?”
Standard
a better life, accountability, action, adaptation, art, asking questions, authenticness, awareness, balance, beauty, belief, Beliefs, better choices, boys, brain, breaking points, caring, Change Agent, change management, children, choices, christian, courage, dads, dads love, dating, daughters, desire, dreams, Energy, examined life, fairness, friends, game of life, Goals, God, gratitude, greed, happiness, heaven, honour, hope, Imagination, information, intimacy, intimacy awards, Jesus, kids, leadership, life, listening, long-term perspective, love, male, man, marriage, muscle building, muscles, opportunity, parenting, parenting skills, perspective, self, self discipline, self improvement, self love, self-image, symmetry, synergy, taking action, Team that works, Team work, Teams, time, trust, truth, Vitality, wife, wisdom, you, your life

MARRIAGE: The ULTIMATE TEAMWORK.

The 💝alentine tribe (minus our dog 🐶 – Mr Fuzzy/Fussy cuddles

Marriage is Teamwork.

No matter what a husband or wife happens to be or do, MARRIAGE IS TEAMWORK.

From my experience of being married for almost twenty years now and also from learning from other peoples’ experiences, marriage is a great example of ULTIMATE TEAMWORK.

I would go further to say that, given the high rates of divorce, marriages that last are not just because of teamwork but they have teamwork because they are a TEAM THAT WORKS.

Marriage is not about the hope of WORKING AS A TEAM, it is about two people WHO COME TOGETHER… & FIT … like 6 fits into 9, to make “69”.

Family.

God is an Amazing God.

God is an amazing God.

God gives many things.

God does not give individual gifts 🎁 to frustrate a marriage. No. God gives us unique gifts to ENHANCE the marriage. God does not lead two people into a marriage to see “sparks fly”, pulling a husband & wife in opposite directions.

No… God, leads them into marriage to blend and maximise their strengths, their usefulness.

Whenever this happens in my relationship with my wife, I pray to God for his help…. To give me the strength, courage & wisdom to make good decisions.

This is where our faith in God helps us during turbulent times in the marriage. There are many forces (internal and external) that work hard to tear a marriage apart.

If you believe in your marriage & what it represents is important to you, ask for God’s guidance and work hard to keep your marriage .

My beautiful wife of almost 20 years now. My love for this human being keeps increasing every single day.

The most difficult Act of Art of all.

As I see it, much of the problems & tension that occur in marriages comes from the INABILITY to BALANCE the ACT of GIVING to your spouse /other while retaining a SENSE OF SELF.

Mastering this balance, i believe is the most difficult ACT OF ART of ALL in life. I am still trying to master this after almost 2 decades.

In other words, the tension comes from grasping or holding onto what we consider our INDIVIDUALITY. I believe no matter what our gifts, talents or personalities… when they are given To god.

With strong belief in God, he will work & blend it all out and provide balance, because that is just what God will do.

No other team that you are a part of in life – business, sport, religion, politics etc … will ever be as IMPORTANT or benefit & challenge you like a successful marriage.

It takes WORK… a lot of real hard work. It is the complete & ULTIMATE example of TEAMWORK in life.

With God (part of the team, too).

Here’s a few questions for you:

1. Has there been a time when you put one of your individual goals “on hold “ so your spouse could pursue a dream?

2. Was the eventual outcome positive for you?

Until next time …

Yours in care, compassion & trust,

P.

Here we are … my beautiful wife and I. at a dinner party.
Loving & love in the Family provides key input for Balance.
Standard
a better life, accountability, action, adaptation, asking questions, attitude, authenticness, awareness, beauty, belief, belief systems, better choices, brain, breaking points, caring, change, Change Agent, change management, chaos, choices, communication, compassion, courage, creator, dads love, death, decisions, desire, Energy, eternity, evolution, examined life, faith, forgiveness, friends, fundamentals, game of life, genuineness, Goals, God, habits, happiness, hope, Imagination, kids, Knowledge, leaders, leadership, life, listening, long-term perspective, love, muscles, needs, parenthood, patience, perseverance, perspective, real man, relationships, respect, responsibility, risk, self discipline, self improvement, self love, self-image, self-respect, Strength training, success, time, trust, truth, weird, wisdom, you, your life

The importance of the choice of LANGUAGE in having a HEALTHY SELF-EXPECTANCY.

I AM. I an Entrepreneur of IMAGINATION. Through Mastery of Self, I am able to be an Agent of Creative Destruction to allow the release of new ideas … new thinking … and a new Meaning. Meaning is the NEW MONEY.

Coaching conversations..

Over the years I have listened to many individuals. Listened to their stories.

Over the years I think I have had in excess of twenty thousand conversations with people of all ages. From teens to ninety-year olds.

Over the years I have had many coaching conversations. In these coaching conversations, I have helped increase individuals awareness of how their perception of events in their lives either propel them forward or hold them back.

I have listened to others and the way in which the stories they tell ourselves have the power to hold us back or propel us forward.

As an example …

The bottom line is that I wouldn’t be the person I am today if my hearing hadn’t been terrible when I was young. Neither would you.

This is why taking the time to properly frame our narratives and the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves can be so critical.

Keep your dreams alive . Snd if you’re going to dream … Dream BIG. You serve no one by being and thinking small. Think BIG!

Re-frame in away to move forward ..

Self-pity for being dealt a bad hand is easy.

Self-awareness is what brings with it empowerment and insight.

This, important first step is sometimes hard.

The first turns your past into an anchor, while the second turns it into the wind that fills your sails and keeps you moving forward.

Is there some piece of your story, personal or professional, that you’ve been able to reframe in a way that moves you forward, instead of holding you back?

Wonderful question for all to ponder. I’m one of the most self-aware person you will ever meet, but that is nothing new to me as I have been this way since I was a kid (from the adults who knew me in my youth).

Everything happens for a reason. Success is not an accident. It is based on the Aristotelian Principle of CAUSALITY. Today, we call it – “the Law of CAUSE & EFFECT.”

Cowboy 🤠 House.

Here’s one I’d like to share – I was raised by my grandparents as my biological Dad died when I was 4 years old, trying to save a person from downing … and was overpowered by the victim and drowning with that person). My biological mother was only 16 and had a choice to have an abortion but I thank her and God that she didn’t.

Her decision to give me life has allowed me to not only live but to do what I do – predominantly, helped people, help themselves building their bridges from where they are to where they desire to be over the last 3 decades.

Anyways, I grew up in a large extended family – grandparents, grand uncles and aunties, uncles, aunties, cousins and siblings and … visitors and extended family visiting.

My home was always full and was always noisy. Our neighbours used to call our home – the “Cowboy House”.

We didn’t have much of anything – food (there were no less than 10 people to feed every single day … and I do not know how my grandparents managed to do this), didn’t have much material possessions (my grandmother used to sew my school uniforms) … but the home certainly had a lot of love.

There was a lot of storytelling and sitting around talking almost every night. It was just part of the home … part of the culture.

Because there was so much noise, most kids would not be able to concentrate/focus. But, I told myself way back in early Primary School that I will teach myself to study/do school work/read in … noise.

My teachers couldn’t understand how a kid (me) could get Top Academic Results every year.

Most kids/people need peace and quiet to FOCUS, so we are told. “How does Paul do it?” I would over hear some teachers say. In my adult life, I have continued to learn/read/focus in any environment, no matter how noisy or ridiculous is.

The only photo I have as a baby with my biological mum. One of my 3 Mums in my life.

Focus on what you can control

I remember my grandfather telling me many things (he was a very wise man) … saying something to the effect –

“Paul, focus on what you can control … and do the best with what you’ve got … don’t be part of the problem, always be part of the solution”.

I’ve always applied that in my life, not focusing on insufficient resources and constraints .,. But on HOW I can do better with what I have. That philosophy along with many others, has helped me create the life I’ve always imagined and realise short-term and long-term goals.

Growing up in an family environment that had very limited resources (except for love … the home was always infused with LOVE), has allowed me to almost always have an overall attitude of personal optimism and enthusiasm.

I completely understand the psychosomatic relationship – psyche and soma – mind and body … better than most (hence sculpting a Physique worthy of representing Australia at 2 x World Natural Physique Championships and placing in the Top 5 in consecutive years).

I am fully aware of how the body is the physical manifestation of the mind or in other words, the body expresses what the mind is concerned with. I’m a strong believer that life is many things … and one of which is that life is a self-fulfilling prophecy…. That you usually get what you expect.

My ‘tough’ upbringing has allowed me to develop a healthy self-expectancy and eliminated all forms of excuse from my vocabulary as … I expect to win, almost all the time. I have no doubt the so-called ‘luck’ is the intersection of preparation and awareness.

Leadership ability begins in the home … children learn character building in the home Be the best character you can be … for YOU, first .. and then for your kids my two children a number of years ago

Life … a very real game but not a gamble.

I look at life as a very real game .. but not a gamble.

Part of what I have done over the last 3 decades is help people, help themselves build their bridges. I have learned and taught many things. It seems that every individual tends to receive what he or she expects in the long run.

From my experience and deducing from other people’s experiences in my life so far … it would appear that you may or may not get what is coming to you, or you may or may not get what you deserve – BUT YOU WILL nearly always get what you expect.

As someone who has mastered the art of body re-engineering (building muscle and reducing body fat to < 4%), believe me when I say, there is an intricately close connection between your mind and body … a negative thought can cause your ‘look’ (that you get judged on) to go from excellent (Top 5 and finalist) to awful.

I’ve learned and mastered much of the ‘mind-body-heart-soul’ interface connections and one important one is this – mental obsessions have physical manifestations. Basically, you BECOME WHAT YOU FEAR – you get what you expect – you are that which you expect to be!

Here’s the thing – since all individuals are responsible for their own actions and cause their own effects, optimism then, is a choice.

Choose well, my adult friends.

Balance & symmetry brings you closer to harmony … to beauty …closer to infinity. Just like mathematics does

Optimism, Enthusiasm, Faith & Hope.

What is needed is : continual fueling of – OPTIMISM, ENTHUSIASM, FAITH & HOPE.

Each is a synonym for – having a HEALTHY SELF-EXPECTANCY.

So, my question to you (if you’ve made it this far) is –

1. Do you have a healthy self-expectancy about things in your life?

2. Do you expect the best for you – in life and as a way of life?

3. Do you look at problems/constraints as opportunities?

With regards to question 3 above, try this little exercise and let me know your answers –

Make a list of your KEY problems/constraints –

> the ones that block your professional and personal fulfillment.

> Next, write a one-or-two sentence definition of each problem/constraint.

Now, rewrite the definition, only this time view it as an opportunity or exercise to challenge your creativity and ingenuity (some refer to it as ‘re-framing’).

Here’s a tip: view the solution as you would if you were advising one of your best friends.

So, where does your thoughts stand in relation to your Self-Expectancy now?

Write in and tell me all about it.

Thank you

Yours in care, compassion & trust,

Paul

A fridge magnet 🧲 I bought almost 20 years ago. Practise this.

Standard
a better life, accountability, action, anger, anger management, asking questions, attitude, awareness, beauty, belief systems, better choices, boys, brain, care empathy, caring, children, choices, christian, communication, dads, dads love, Energy, father, game of life, God, grace, habits, hope, life, long-term perspective, love, male, man, parenting, parenting skills, real man, relationships, respect, responsibility

Men & Fathers who Nurture.

Did you have a father that invested a great deal of time and energy in to your life? Or was he in the shadows … or almost never around.

In my 7 years of owning and managing my Family Gym, I came to really know men from all backgrounds and status in society. My gym membership was about 70% male.

Over time, I came to notice correlations and strong causation between their behaviour as grown men and their relationship with their dads in their childhood. It didn’t matter which race, culture or status, there were some strong connections.

Can you see “me” in my son? Can you see you in your son?

Happy Men & Not-so-happy Men.

Do you consider yourself a “Happy Man?

Who are the happiest Men in society? Not by any kind of horizontal segmentation but as a species – “male”.

I think there are Happy Men and the not-so-happy men in our modern-day societies.

Experience has indicated that the men who are the happiest and most content in the masculine role today are those whose fathers put in the time and effort in their upbringing. And continue to do so.

I’ll refer to them as the “Happy Dads” in society.

These Happy Dads had dads who were around to begin with. Dads that were committed to maintaining a positive, nurturing, encouraging relationship with their sons. These Fathers of Happy Dads provided that secure foundation and supported their sons in their ups and downs.

The sons (Happy Dads) had support from their Fathers with their careers and decisions they made and acknowledged their achievements.

These Happy Dads had dads that were just “there for them”. No excuses, full-stop!

Time spent with your young man is NEVER bad use of your time.

RETURN ON INVESTMENT (ROI)

That consistent loving time spent with their sons (not “quality “‘time), paid off … in time. These Father’s sons, who the the Happy Dads of today are, I believe, among the most well-adjusted and peaceful husbands and fathers in our modern-day societies.

Are they increasing? Are they easily recognised?

Does he look like you? Your friend, maybe?

Like Father-like-son. I think I am a Happy Man… mostly. Are you?

MINORITY RULE.

I believe these well-adjusted and peaceful husbands and fathers is and has been on the decline. They could be safely said to be in the “minority “.

Normally, I would say that in a democratic society, the majority should rule. In this instance, I believe that this minority should rule … these men should be the norm and not rare and abnormal.

We need these types of men … Happy Dads … to flourish again and increase.

What do we do? How do we go about this?

I believe it is up to me, you and … all the current dads/fathers reading this and out there with young sons… to commit to these young impressionable souls.

It is up to us, Fathers/Dads/Husbands.

Being there for your young man is vital to his overall understanding of a BALANCED Man.

STOP REARING ANGRY MEN.

The majority of men today are struggling to recover from relationships with fathers who failed to nurture, affirm and validate them at some level … or all levels.

These sons (who are now fathers/dads/husbands themselves), are left with a legacy of pain, confusion, frustration, anxiety, bitterness, fear & anger. A lot of these men never had a choice in having their father in their lives as the mothers decided to bring them up as single parent.

I believe a big percentage of These adult sons are the angry men of our societies.

We need to stop rearing angry men.

If you’re part of the minority that is, the Happy Men, congratulations 🎉! Go and give your old man a hug and tell him you love him…. and just give him thanks for being there for you through your tumultuous years of youth.

You probably already do … and have.

That’s what Happy Men do.

Cheerio for now, Until next time …

Learning and absorbing our habits every single day of their initial phase of their lives is what our young Princes do. Teach them well.
My gritty Warrior Viking Pirate 🏴‍☠️ prince 🤴

Standard
a better life, anger, asking questions, authenticness, awareness, balance, beauty, Beliefs, better choices, care empathy, decisions, desire, Energy, examined life, faith, forgiveness, game of life, genuineness, God, happiness, hope, Leader, life, long-term perspective, love, mind, mind-muscle connection, needs, perseverance, respect, self improvement, self-respect, significance, spirituality, success, synergy, taking action, truths, Vitality, you, your life

A Happiness KEY: Be naked, exposed and vulnerable.

Be who you are.
No one else but YOU

A wise friend told me once a long time ago that if you love life, life will love you back.

I have seen them, so perhaps have you – people who seem to have been freshly scrubbed or newly minted. They have taut skins and great smiles. How do they do it?

They do it partly through increased respect for their body, spirit/soul, heart and mind.

If you see one of these people, ask them their secret and then … get in touch with me and we can tell it to the world. Their secret would be worth more than a pot of gold!

Well, after twenty five years of helping people, help themselves work towards a better version of themselves, I believe a key factor is in better energy management and also that these lucky people have better experience of happiness, daily.

Managing energy better does not only refer to raw materials taken in and outputs expanded from the human machine that is the human body, it also refers to our state of mind and state of heart and spirit.

It seems that many people are of the belief that constantly ‘being happy’ is desired and so they spend all of their day choosing and stressing about being happy. I believe that striving to constantly be in a state of happiness takes you further and further away from the elusive happiness. They do so to such an extent that the drive to be constantly happy leads to unhappiness and an empty feeling.

Happy moments with two long-time members of my gym – in my gym of all ages: 70s, 60s, 50s and I was in my 30s then.
The first gym that I ever stepped foot in, in my late teens. A gym that I said I would own one day. A gym that was me and I was it. A gym that I loved.
Was a place … that was always happy members came … a place where everybody knew your name … a place where it was ok to just be YOU.
I accepted ALL – peoples’ good and bad … it was not a place to be judged.
That was and is not my role. My role was to simply provide the environment and leadership required to encourage members to flourish.
Because they believed. They believed in what I was trying to do. For ALL to benefit. Remember: BELIEF ===> FAITH ===>HOPE.
The vision of my gym: the way gyms should be around the world. There should be my gym in every suburb in the country .. in the world. To bring each community closer … to bring each suburb together … to bring each state together … and the people of the country together. As ONE. This is SYNERGISM: the ability to create a whole that is greater than the sum of its parts, through effective communication and ‘know-how’ of combining seemingly disparate elements. Great Leaders do this – WELL. Very similar to building a World-Class Physique where all the individual muscle groups ‘flow’ together to produce a masterpiece of beauty (balance & symmetry). For all to appreciate. Like an orchestra.

Why is that so, I ask?

Well, it is because, a human being is also an emotional and spiritual being. I believe that to be truly human, one needs to be able to feel ALL emotions, not just being happy all the time. A human being needs to feel emotions including those that are unpleasant – like anger, hatred or sadness amongst others. One needs to FEEL the whole gamut of emotions in one’s life to be truly closer to happiness.

So, in essence you have to experience UNHAPPINESS to experiencing growth towards happiness in your life. There is no other way. This is a key to happiness.

There is a catch though, as (like anything worthwhile getting), it isn’t as easy as it sounds. To get closer to genuine happiness in your life, you need to strip bare (be honest and brave to oneself); be naked, expose oneself to the world and allow oneself to be vulnerable.

This is a difficult task and for some people, impossible.

Being vulnerable is liberating, it is a genuine taste of freedom. Being vulnerable is truth … it is peace. Being vulnerable is harmony and symmetry … being vulnerable is beauty.

I believe part of the reason people don’t allow themselves to feel the full range of emotions, particularly the unpleasant ones is that we’re all sort of brainwashed to some extent, that ‘getting in touch’ with your inner negative feelings is not recommended and frowned upon.

There is a high need and practise in modern day society to reason and provide an objective and logical explanation to everything, without any feeling. That is the key phrase – “without any feeling’. It seems that people think that they must express everything like this – giving well thought out, logical, step by step reasons for a situation without any empathy and feeling.

You see it everywhere, where people frown upon or look at you with surprise when you voice your disagreement, disgust, anger, frustration and so forth because you actually allowed yourself to experience that emotion.

Oh no, that’s not civilized, not good behaviour … you need ‘anger management’ help. A load of c%ap!

And why is this so?

Well, I have told my wife this many times over the years – that the lack of ‘feeling’ is increasingly a sure sign that peoples’ spiritual lives being poverty-stricken.

Believe. Believe in something. Belong to a religion, any religion. Why? Because most Religions AMPLIFY Faith.
This is why human beings invented religion. It is why we have spiritual religions and cultural religions and corporate religions and sporting religions. Because Religion gives our faith a little support when it needs it.
Religion at its best is a sort of mantra, a subtle but consistent reminder that belief is ok … and that faith is the way to get where you’re going.
Religion at its worst reinforces the status quo, often at the expense of our faith.

Basically, one cannot give and share what one does not have in the first place. In other words, we cannot mirror, cannot radiate the tenderness (of God/positive energy) because people have not experienced it themselves. Sad, but true.

If you believe in God, in a God, please understand one thing: I believe that God expects us to show all of our feelings to him – happy and unhappy feelings, everything. Nothing is off-limits!

However, I believe that before a man or a woman can really FEEL his or her own feelings and be able to express them fully, you have to go back to your past and deal with any hurt or anger. Ask for forgiveness and ask God (and your God) for your forgiveness.

There are few certainties in life – death and taxes are two of them. A third one and one that is relevant to my message in this blog is that God does not change, God is a certainty.

He is the same yesterday, today and forever.

Because of this, if you believe in him and you believe in his healing power, you can let go. You can forgive and be forgiven for your past, because it can be UNDONE and off-loaded on to God forever, releasing the shackels you’ve put yourself in.

This is what is meant by being naked.

Allowing you to feel empowered again in your own skin – to be unarmoured … to come out from the wall of invulnerability on those deeply sensitive spots that hold you back from truly feeling the whole spectrum of feelings.

So, being naked, being totally exposed, ironically, provides you with the ultimate armour: increased spiritual connectedness.

A man or woman who has embraced this heightened spirituality, invites wonderful healing of painful memories formed in his or her past. This healing, in turn is the key to be more caring, more empathetic outward expressions (including unpleasant ones too).

Increased awareness of your spiritual part to your whole being allows you to let down the walls of invulnerability, allows you to drop the façade’. It allows the TRUE SELF to be set free, the TRUE YOU.

A great thinker once said that the most difficult thing for a person to do in his or her lifetime is to BE HIM or HERSELF, in a world that is constantly trying to make you somebody else.

So, building your spiritual self allows you to be more of who you really are, not somebody else, not a fake you. You get to love yourself more which ultimately shows in how you show love to others (outwardly), because you are now naked and exposed and vulnerable.

This vulnerability allows you to experience not only the happy feelings but also the unhappy feelings or the undesirable feelings and be more complete.

You see, to me happiness is more than simply feeling pleasure and avoiding pain. Happiness is about having experiences that are meaningful and valuable, including emotions that you think are the right ones to have (others may not think so). All emotions can be positive in some contexts and negative in others, regardless of whether they are pleasant or unpleasant.

Happiness is also about being content, a sub-set of happiness.

Find your light and colours. Be authentic, be YOU.
Have FAITH that being naked & vulnerable will get you closer to happiness.
If religion comprises rules you follow, FAITH is demonstrated by the actions you take.
Of course it is difficult. Be the Leader that you are. In your life.

So, if your goal is to be more happy (and almost every human being has this goal) then to be more happy, learn to feel more. Learn to be unhappy occasionally (when appropriate), don’t be afraid to. It is human to feel these less-than-desired emotions. Learn to be more empathetic. This will take time, if you’re not wired that way. That’s ok. Be patient.

Believe. You will get there. Compassionate, trusting and caring – all elements of empathy.

To get closer to the elusive happiness – be naked (and honest with your spiritual self). Be real and authentic. Be You. No one else in the world can play that role better than you can …. The role of YOU.

Here’s to your happiness (and unhappiness)!

 

Until next time, Ahoy!!

The Old Captain Viking Pirate … & tips on being closer to happiness

The symbol for Christianity – the Fish.
Do you have a symbol that you like, that resonates with you… with who you think you are.
I love the DOT ===>”.” I’ll write a future blog on this point (pun intended)
What is yours?

Standard
a better life, asking questions, awareness, balance, Beliefs, better choices, decisions, Energy, examined life, game of life, Goals, life, long-term perspective, significance, spiritual balance sheet, spirituality, time, you, your life

Keep on keeping on.

_mg_9820

Life, what is it?

How do you define what ‘life’ is? What does it mean to you when you think or hear people say ‘live your life?

To keep things simple, life to me, is just like building and hanging on to muscle (after almost a quarter of a decade of working with it).

It – Life, depends heavily on two principles – simplicity and continuity.

You can read about this analogy in an earlier blog. What I would like to elaborate on, however, is Life and what it means. People view life through different lens. I believe, life – all life, is intended to have purpose.

From my interactions with and observations of people over the last four decades of my existence on this planet, it seems that many people live their lives almost as if they worship it. Yep, they put it up on an alter – they exalt it to almost Godly status!

The question I ask is, why?

Is it in the genes or has it been instilled in us by our environment.

Perhaps we all too easily become worshipers of life. Life itself, is likened to that of an idol. It seems that all the marbles are put in to the one basket called life and there is nothing after life. People seem to be very busy, rushing around, trying to squeeze in as much as they can while they can – experiences, places to visit, ticking off ‘bucket lists’ and promotional ladders at work.

Most people just seem to focus on what they can get out of ‘this life’. Why? I just don’t get why this insatiable desire for more, more, more …

The thing is that if we put all our eggs in one basket – this basket called life, I think that death or the mere mention of death would most likely be an unwanted trespasser, an uninvited purposeless intruder. Probably part of the reason why a lot of modern day society revolves around avoiding the question of or conversation of death and dying. So much so, that the aged population get segregated from society in to over-hyped ‘aged care’ facilities, separated and out of sight from the rest of society. Nobody in modern society wants to be reminded of death, no, it is life that is celebrated!

This is a sad state of society, not only for the seemingly unwanted aged put aside, in a patient room, waiting to die. But, it is also a sad state for those that are left behind, those in society that would benefit greatly by having the aged pass on knowledge and wealth of experience through the long lost art of story-telling.

It would benefit the younger generation immensely. If only, people had a little more patience.

Sad indeed.

I’m not saying that we shouldn’t live life and live it to the full. No, but to exalt anything – another person, an object, rock bands, a job, a position and including even life itself, into the ‘be all and end all’ takes a critical ingredient out of the picture. Do you know what this critical ingredient is?

It is God.

Worshipping anything, even life, squeezes God out of the picture, out of the equation of a truly successful life. It becomes a life that is purposeless, something that is an increasing symptom of many people in today’s very fast, busy worlds.

They are growing more distant from God and appear to be soul-less as they are searching for him in all the wrong places. There is an hollowness in their soul. Even though they have more social media connections, they have less genuine relationships. What is missing is their spirituality.

Remember, that it is your relationship with God – your God, in your life that enables you to make sense out of the countless nonsense out there. Having God in your equation, your life gives you hope, hope that even when sense and purpose seem to escape you at times, one day you will understand.

It is true, that you should live your life as if it were your last in this world.

But, understand that worshipping it to the status of an idol is not needed if you believe. Believe that Jesus Christ was the resurrection and the life. Believing in him and God allows you to live (even when your physical body dies from this world).

So, live and believe in all your heart and soul. This belief will mean that you will never die, that you will live forever in to the next life. Believe that your life now, this life, is only a small part of your life in the time continuum – that you, me, we are all living out days of our eternal life.

Now.

Keep it simple. There is no end to life, there is only continuity and simplicity, which as I mentioned at the start is the two fundamental principles that life and funnily enough – muscle is built on.

All you need to do is believe and be redeemed by our saviour, the son of God – Jesus Christ.

Close your eyes. Breathe. Keep on keeping on …. Don’t stop believin’.

Amen.

 

Until next time,

_O7A6309_C

Standard
a better life, asking questions, awareness, belief systems, caring, Energy, faith, game of life, God, life, long-term perspective, opportunity, self improvement, your life

Seek, Ask and Knock on the door.

A student seeks answers summons courage to ask the question. To seek and ask is humility in practise. With faith and hard work, opportunity presents a door to knock on. A great teacher helps his/her student step through the door with desire, not fear. Vv.

A student seeks answers summons courage to ask the question.
To seek and ask is humility in practise. With faith and hard work, opportunity presents a door to knock on.
A great teacher helps his/her student step through the door with desire, not fear.
Vv.

Seek and ye shall find; ask and ye shall receive” as it says in the Gospel.

But how many of us really ask questions? How many of us seek out help and show our vulnerability? How many of us knock at the door of opportunity when it presents itself?

We should seek, ask and knock on the door or doors that come across in life as we can never be hundred percent certain what we will find on the other side of the door. This can be scary predicament for many but we can choose to look at it only through two possibilities:

  • Fear
  • Desire

I would prefer to look at it through the latter option, wouldn’t you?

To ask could be said to be adopting a life lived with an ‘open hand’ rather than one that is closed. To ask opens you up to vulnerability as you choose to depend on someone other than yourself. To ask is humility in practise.

I always tell my children that they should never be afraid to ask a question but I also tell them that knowing all the answers is not as important as asking the right question!

As individuals mature in to adults, it seems that the ability and need to ask lessens and people lose their curiosity and child-like abilities to ask questions. Maybe it is partly due to not wanting to ‘look like a fool’ asking ‘silly questions’. But, like I said asking is very humbling.

To seek and especially to ask could likely also mean:

  • I failed.
  • I came up short.
  • I’m not prepared.
  • I don’t know.
  • I ran out.
  • I’m not sure.
  • I don’t understand.
  • I didn’t care.
  • I need more information.
  • I was wrong.
  • I didn’t listen.
  • I forgot.
  • I didn’t ship.

You get the picture.

But it is better to ask than not to ask. For one thing, it shows you care enough to ask and I think that is a good trait to have.

There is a dilemma though – from a Christian-point-of-view, Christianity and it’s teachings could be seen as no more than an excellent system that provides answers to most, if not all of life’s questions. However, to admit any short-comings is to be less than a good Christian, wouldn’t it?

That is not fair.

Brad seeked; Brad asked the right questions; Brad knocked on the doors of opportunity towards the person he imagined himself to be. With my guidance

Brad seeked; Brad asked the right questions; Brad knocked on the doors of opportunity towards the person he imagined himself to be.
With my guidance

Not asking and not seeking may serve you in the short term but could prove very risky in the long term, especially if you unknowingly shut out God.

Claiming to be wise, you become a fool. Individuals who exchange the truth of God for a lie and worship man-made creations close doors that they may have been destined to knock on.

We should always keep in mind that our relationship with God is one of vulnerable dependence. One which assumes a need relationship with him – a hand-to-mouth spiritual existence.

So, we, as Christians should never stop seeking answers and never stop asking. To ask is to be on the same side of the track with God. It is important to not only stay on the track with God but more importantly stay on the same side of the track. This is what it means to have faith – unwavering faith in God and the answers he provides.

Increasingly, modern society seeks and rushes to fill every felt wants and needs. Increasingly society steals away the souls of individuals in order to sell it back at a price. What a way to learn false answers. Life is too short not to ask questions, the right questions.

The most important question is to ask yourself what your relationship with Jesus and with God is. When you get that right and rekindle it, you then find the strength to seek the right path, ask the right questions and knock on the right doors.

Opportunity sometimes comes clothed in an over-coat.

Keep seeking, keep asking and don’t be afraid to knock on the doors (opportunities) that come your way in life, knowing that you can always depend on your God for answers to your life’s questions. You will discover that answers will come to you in a diversity which reflects the mystery of God himself.

There is one thing I am absolutely certain of and that is: he (God) will be making certain that those who seek and ask questions will be finding and that doors will be opened to you.

 

Until next time,

Ex-Australian Wallaby Captain - Phil Waugh performing a set of squats. Using good exercise technique(which includes proper breathing) is paramount to success. His humility in asking questions allowed him to achieve goals of better balance and symmetry, amongst other things. Vv.

Ex-Australian Wallaby Captain – Phil Waugh performing a set of squats.
Using good exercise technique(which includes proper breathing) is paramount to success.
His humility in asking questions allowed him to achieve goals of better balance and symmetry, amongst other things.
Vv.

Standard