There is always high emotion when any of us lose a loved one or loved ones. There is an overwhelming sense of sadness and sorrow. All sorts of thoughts run through our minds and one thought I would like to highlight is that of – guilt.
It is inevitable that when we live and love another human-being deeply, we will eventually hurt them in some way, shape or form. We all do and say things we later regret and we know what ‘buttons to push’ to hurt our loved one(s).
There are always ‘ups and downs’ in all relationships and sustaining a relationship you value is a constant building project of loving, hurting and reconciling. I think it is very similar to the process of muscle building – it is a repeated process of destruction, feeding and rest/recovery.
I believe, no one can truly learn to love unless you are willing to accept the risks of hurting and failing and being hurt. When we lose someone in whichever way – death, by choice etc., they all give us reminders. Reminders of those hurts and failings, of words we regret saying, actions we would like to take back and incidences we wish we could erase. Depending on the individual, we all feel a sense of guilt, of varying degrees.
Dealing with guilt can be difficult but there are many resources available today that can assist you. One source I found that has always existed is the bible. Whatever religion you belong to, I am sure you find clarity and fulfilment through its teachings.
I am taking a few minutes out to write this blog on Easter Friday (today). You see, my children’s current perception of Easter is predominantly about – chocolates, eggs, bunnies, fancy hats, hot-cross buns and so forth. It is wonderful and they enjoy the traditional Easter egg hunts. Gee, I get in to it too.
However, I do try to remind them of the real significance of Easter and the crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus Christ, our saviour. They are quite taken aback by the gruesome nature of being nailed to the cross. They have much to learn but all in the right time.
It is during Easter that we should all remember that our Lord and Saviour died and gave his own life for us sinners. This was the ultimate act of forgiveness – sacrificing his only begotten son for us, our salvation. This is what Christians should keep in mind amidst the Easter bunnies and chocolates practises today – Easter Friday.
He then rose to give us new life – freedom!
In this Easter break, reach out to someone you may have hurt in some way, shape or form and try to reconcile, just like God has given us the Lord’s supper to provide us with the strength to reconcile with God.
Don’t let the guilt of ‘if only’ linger in your being, regretting that you should have righted a wrong or forgiven. Release it. Reach out and touch that someone special. Reconcile.
There is a prayer that I remember from my days in my youth as an altar boy and I recall it every now and then when the need arises. I think it is from Psalm somewhere and it goes something along the lines of:
“God, create in me a pure heart and renew in me a steadfast spirit.”
It summons up courage to love again, forgive, reconcile.
Have a blessed Easter!
Until next time,