a better life, accountability, action, anger, anger management, asking questions, attitude, awareness, beauty, belief systems, better choices, boys, brain, care empathy, caring, children, choices, christian, communication, dads, dads love, Energy, father, game of life, God, grace, habits, hope, life, long-term perspective, love, male, man, parenting, parenting skills, real man, relationships, respect, responsibility

Men & Fathers who Nurture.

Did you have a father that invested a great deal of time and energy in to your life? Or was he in the shadows … or almost never around.

In my 7 years of owning and managing my Family Gym, I came to really know men from all backgrounds and status in society. My gym membership was about 70% male.

Over time, I came to notice correlations and strong causation between their behaviour as grown men and their relationship with their dads in their childhood. It didn’t matter which race, culture or status, there were some strong connections.

Can you see “me” in my son? Can you see you in your son?

Happy Men & Not-so-happy Men.

Do you consider yourself a “Happy Man?

Who are the happiest Men in society? Not by any kind of horizontal segmentation but as a species – “male”.

I think there are Happy Men and the not-so-happy men in our modern-day societies.

Experience has indicated that the men who are the happiest and most content in the masculine role today are those whose fathers put in the time and effort in their upbringing. And continue to do so.

I’ll refer to them as the “Happy Dads” in society.

These Happy Dads had dads who were around to begin with. Dads that were committed to maintaining a positive, nurturing, encouraging relationship with their sons. These Fathers of Happy Dads provided that secure foundation and supported their sons in their ups and downs.

The sons (Happy Dads) had support from their Fathers with their careers and decisions they made and acknowledged their achievements.

These Happy Dads had dads that were just “there for them”. No excuses, full-stop!

Time spent with your young man is NEVER bad use of your time.

RETURN ON INVESTMENT (ROI)

That consistent loving time spent with their sons (not “quality “‘time), paid off … in time. These Father’s sons, who the the Happy Dads of today are, I believe, among the most well-adjusted and peaceful husbands and fathers in our modern-day societies.

Are they increasing? Are they easily recognised?

Does he look like you? Your friend, maybe?

Like Father-like-son. I think I am a Happy Man… mostly. Are you?

MINORITY RULE.

I believe these well-adjusted and peaceful husbands and fathers is and has been on the decline. They could be safely said to be in the “minority “.

Normally, I would say that in a democratic society, the majority should rule. In this instance, I believe that this minority should rule … these men should be the norm and not rare and abnormal.

We need these types of men … Happy Dads … to flourish again and increase.

What do we do? How do we go about this?

I believe it is up to me, you and … all the current dads/fathers reading this and out there with young sons… to commit to these young impressionable souls.

It is up to us, Fathers/Dads/Husbands.

Being there for your young man is vital to his overall understanding of a BALANCED Man.

STOP REARING ANGRY MEN.

The majority of men today are struggling to recover from relationships with fathers who failed to nurture, affirm and validate them at some level … or all levels.

These sons (who are now fathers/dads/husbands themselves), are left with a legacy of pain, confusion, frustration, anxiety, bitterness, fear & anger. A lot of these men never had a choice in having their father in their lives as the mothers decided to bring them up as single parent.

I believe a big percentage of These adult sons are the angry men of our societies.

We need to stop rearing angry men.

If you’re part of the minority that is, the Happy Men, congratulations 🎉! Go and give your old man a hug and tell him you love him…. and just give him thanks for being there for you through your tumultuous years of youth.

You probably already do … and have.

That’s what Happy Men do.

Cheerio for now, Until next time …

Learning and absorbing our habits every single day of their initial phase of their lives is what our young Princes do. Teach them well.
My gritty Warrior Viking Pirate 🏴‍☠️ prince 🤴

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Like Father, like Son.

Transference of Wisdom from a Father/Mother to their son/daughter is. a key factor in raising a morally-upright, compassionate human being.

WISDOM.

An old friend made that comment on a photo I Put up on Facebook of my son. He said –

“The Apple doesn’t fall to far from the tree … like Father-like-son”

I hadn’t heard this phrase since my youth. Something, I’d overhear the adults would say in conversation.

Got me thinking … about the vital role a Dad/Father plays in a child’s life, in teaching his son/daughter “Life Skills”, emphasising the necessity of learning the Art & Power of Discernment.

In other words: WISDOM.

What a responsibility! I mean, am I actually qualified to give my son/.daughter advice? For most answers to Life Matters, I turn to the Complete Source: The Bible.

Being part of a larger family in the community you’re part of is a key complement to raising good citizens.

The beginning of knowledge.

In the Bible, we are told that the beginning of knowledge is the fear of the Lord (proverbs 1:7).

So, remember, before you can pass on knowledge, it is important that you have gained the necessary knowledge in the first place.

Like the most important teachers, you’ve “walked-the-walk” before you “talk-the-talk.”

So, the first questions we need to ask ourselves are: do you believe in God and do you fear God?

In proverbs 1:3, we are told that before a father can pass on advice, he himself must know the meaning of that “fear of God” … that reverential awe and the wisdom to which it leads.

Giving advice to a son/daughter on “doing what is right and just and fair” can only come from a person who fears God and holds him in awe.

I ask myself the question: do I “qualify?”

What about you, do you qualify?

Passing on the instructions of good decision-making to my daughter is fundamental to my role as her father.
Much guidance is given by the Bible.

Wisdom stems from the discipline of Character.

I also ask myself the question of what is the GOAL of a Father’s advice to his children?

It is clear to me that the Goal of a father’s Godly instruction MUST be spiritual and must stem from the insight learned in Proverb’s WISDOM, KNOWLEDGE or UNDERSTANDING.

But, I don’t believe this wisdom is from Academic Achievements measured by membership to University boards or clubs or some Ivy League College. No, I believe this “wisdom” goes beyond scholastic wins. It goes to a place few dare to go.

That place is – MORAL RESPONSIBILITY. Getting there is difficult. Staying there is far greater a challenge.

Like Father – like son.

The Power of Discretion and Discernment.

It ALL boils down to decision-making, the mastery of this Art. Many Leaders and would-be leaders spend years at universities trying to learn the many tools that assist and help them make decisions.

And still, get it wrong!

The feeder to this art is reflected in the disciplining of the Character, characterised by the person living a “disciplined and prudent life.”

What does it mean to “live prudently?”

It is fundamentally having a clear understanding of the difference between RIGHT and WRONG.

To live prudently means to make decisions that are NOT based a whim or changing appetite but knowing right from wrong. This is the skill and power of discretion or discernment. Exactly what the Bible, Proverbs prescribed.

Out and about with the future Mr Valentine

Respect for the Miracle of Life. 

So, what does this mean when we (as a Father or as parents) have to educate our sons & daughters on HOW to make wise choices?

Whenever I make a decision in my children’s presence, I have a “walk-through “ how I arrived at that decision (s). I let them know the THINKING 🤔 BEHIND THE INTELLIGENCE. I mention the KEY components like – the initial assessment of risks; the consequences it could lead to if not addressed with mitigating controls; the probability/likelihood of the consequences occurring (with and without mitigating controls) and the possible impact, to self and others.

And then factoring in what my heart ♥️ & soul tells me too.

So, as a Father, I strive to give my son & daughter a process that prepares them to make wise choices, to be discreet and discerning.

Such instruction DOES NOT presume that the child somehow already knows what’s best. So, if you’re thinking of having kids or have very young kids, I believe that parents need to instruct and educate them from the earliest years.

They must be shown, trained and taught to tell the truth rather than lies; to respect the property of others rather than take for themselves; that harming anyone else is unacceptable;

And … to hold and RESPECT THE MIRACLE OF LIFE... whether it is flora or fauna or human, in respectful and highest regard.

All the very best in your decisions, big and small and may God continue to shower his blessings on you and your family and cherished ones.

cheers & ahoy from beautiful Sydney, Australia!!

* Dr. of Muscle/Energy Aesthetics & 💝itality/❤️Ove *

Children need a good framework to build their character on.
Your instructions as a parent and the guidance given in Proverbs in the Bible are great tools ⚒️ to harness.

Think 🤔.
To Really think, does not only involve the brain 🧠. It involves the mind, the heart ❤️, the spirit and the “essence of life” – 💝itality.
It includes the blessings of Wisdom.

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Businesses of the future need leaders who are Entrepreneurs of Imagination. Physique Artists are Champions at this. This is how:

I AM.
I an Entrepreneur of IMAGINATION.
Through Mastery of Self, I am able to be an Agent of Creative Destruction to allow the release of new ideas … new thinking … and a new Meaning.
Meaning is the NEW MONEY.

Building a Physique of high quality dense muscle that is balanced & symmetrical on a human being takes an high understanding of striking a balance between control and creativity.

Successful Businesses now and in near future need leaders who understand HOW to strike a balance between control and creativity in organisations…

.. if they are to survive and thrive. Business Leaders need to think like Physique Artists ... like designers.

”Businesspeople don’t need to understand designers better. They need to be designers.”

– ROGER MARTIN, dean, Rottman School of Management

Here’s how the principles of physique artistry can be used in the Corporate World.

Believe.
Embrace Creative Destruction.
You never know what you’ll discover.

What it takes.

My sport found me at 19.

It was and is the hardest sport an individual can participate in. The sport name is : bodybuilding. The great Arnold Schwarzenegger is the most famous bodybuilding champion and has done and still contributes to the wellness & fitness industry. 

I like to refer to it as : Physique Artistry.

To master the “Art” you need to master – YOU.

It is the fusion of science 🧬/engineering and art(design/creativity). 

I got to the Top of my sport. Representing Australia to two consecutive world 🌎 NATURAL bodybuilding championships in New York, USA.

It was a 10 year goal (To stand on the world stage against the best in the world). I developed and managed the best execution of a 10 year plan. I achieved (& exceeded) the goal in that time by making the Finals (Top 5) in both championships.

It took /takes a lot to build muscle.

It took much much more knowledge to Sculpt a “physique “. One that leans towards “ better balance & symmetry “. Consistency, focus, persistence and belief got tested in the journey towards my best. It took learning to  listen” to the myriad of feedback signals the human body and mind Gives you, positive or negative feedback. Being “in-tune” with yourself is key 🔑 to success in this sport.

Sticking to the plan and making changes based on feedback signals ⚒️ I have (the mirror, the scale, energy levels …) where and when necessary to changing circumstances was part and parcel of the journey. It was science 🧬 & art constantly fused together. It is one of the reasons I love the art/science of physique artistry – it feeds in to my thirst for learning.

I know “what it takes.” A big part of this is the “connection “ I have with me … and my enhanced listening /detective abilities of the myriads of feedback my body gives me.

One of my Top 3 Physique Artists of all time.
Balanced & symmetrical ==> beauty.
And when you CREATE your beauty my friend is …
When you discover your TRUTH.

Tomorrow’s Organisations need to create a culture that supports feedback and embrace creativity and “Imagine BETTER”.

In creating a physique that is worthy to represent your country against the best in the world, you need a very good understanding of balancing Control and creativity.

As a physique artist I am constantly tearing down the old me … designing the new me, from within… I have to continue to let my imagination and heart lead me. I am constantly trying to IMAGINE BETTER.

That is what business leaders of tomorrow need to be: Entrepreneurs of Imagination. By testing and exceeding our own personal limits, can society’s horizons be expanded and enriched. That is the way all civilisations innovated .

As Fredrich Nietzsche (1844 – 1900) said –

whoever must be a creator always annihilates”

As a Champion Physique Artist I need to not only continually monitor what can be controlled in the “micro-environment “ but also the macro-environment. All this is balanced with the creativity and freedom needed to “push-boundaries “ in training and nutrition.

Excelling in physique artistry requires you to continuously assess actions and evaluate feedback from your body. You need to embrace feedback, whether it is negative or positive and constantly ‘tweak’ existing or create new processesses to and environment that is very dynamic and rapidly changing.

And what is ‘creativity?”. The artist, Rassouli said –

“Creativity is the manifestation of the playful spirit of a creator having fun.”

As a Physique Artist, I see the whole body as one but I see it as having many moving parts. An important task I have to do is ensure that all the parts ‘flow together’ and are in ‘harmony’ in an ever-changing environment. Depending on feedback received and assessed, I will be able to have the courage to try new things or ‘new ways’ and still achieve the desired results or better. and ‘getting it right’.

In organisations, there are lot of different parts/divisions and they need to all work together, in relative harmony and effective communication in these relationships, between these divisions is the key.

All good and effective feedback has a strong 💪 foundation of strong 💪 relationships. Feedback should come from someone the recipient respects and has built a good relationship with.

In my experience, for feedback to be most effective, however, it helps that the  parties involved need to see the persons as “people” first and foremost instead of titles & roles. This allows people to let their guard down and feel comfortable to take risks and fail. It is the ‘fear of failure’ that stalls new ways of thinking about doing things and this is emphasised by some organisations in bad performance reviews.

Freedom to be vulnerable is a contributor to creative thinking. This freedom is not encouraged by many organisations. Those that do encourage this freedom and build processes and systems that encourage and foster creative-thinking idea formulation will increase their chances of remaining competitive in fast-changing, increasingly uncertain world we live in.

We need business leaders to encourage “Creative Destruction “ … and Entrepreneurs are essential to economic growth because only they disrupt the status quo to challenge conventional business models.

Just like I have done for many many years as a physique artist and an entrepreneur.

These are Key ingredients for successful creative thinking & innovative behaviour.

Keep your dreams alive .
Snd if you’re going to dream … Dream BIG.
You serve no one by being and thinking small.
Think BIG!

Get your hands dirty, to find the diamond.

A key part of effective organisations is having well-oiled processes that are aligned with the overall mission of the organisation (make profit, increase market share etc). This is the same for building a Physique that is beautiful, that is, ‘flows’ with balance and symmetry. A physique that exudes great design.

There are many Systems for feedback that I  use with physique artistry. One of my key systems, I call it the “3-step to showing my diamond 💎 to the world“:

  1. mining – how I manage (mix n match all the variables – how much cardio, how long, what type? Best food combos ? ). Organisations  need a process of how employees are to voice grievance with others . Maybe write down “why”. Here’s where you “get your hands dirty “.

2. Re-fining : making sure that I make the right substitutions at the right time (from the larger goal … to monthly and weekly and daily goals). This is where the bulk of my time is Spent – in the beginning when working through the process of setting goals.

Organisations need to separate the “facts”‘from emotions and “he says” – “she says”. Leaders and participants in this “feedback “ process, needs to Spend time here. Refining.

3. Defining: once my goals (micro & macro employees should have the ability to re-write what they wrote initially after learning about all the other information in the two stages. This is a stage of reflection. How can you do or say things better?

Processes of feedback could be done this way, for example. 

In their book, “Thanks for the Feedback”, Douglas Stone & Sheila Heen stressed that feedback is about the quality of relationship, as I mentioned earlier –

Feedback isn’t about the quality of the advice or the accuracy of the assessments. It’s about the quality of the relationships, your willingness to show that you don’t have it all figured out, and to bring your whole self – flaws, uncertainties, and all – into the relationship.”

It is the formula I use to project manage my building of muscle &  the design & creativity I apply. I need to keep introducing these principles to encourage muscle growth and burn fat.

I love this quote. Increasing your awareness is parameters to having clarity and success in your life.
SEARCH. Become the BEST ‘searcher’ you can be.
One day .. you may find ALL the answers you’re seeking for YOUR questions to give ‘meaning’ to your life.
A wonderful book says –
“Seek and ye shall find;
Ask and ye shall receive.”
True.

Feedback: Food for Champions. Organisations to allow “feedback” to be seen as “Opportunities to learn”.

That is exactly the approach I take when listening to the various feedback loops my body gives me – the micro and the macro: I always see it as an opportunity to learn.

I see all feedback as “food for champions “.

Personally, I’ve Always had a “feedback – seeking behaviour. I subsequently found out that it is a self-regulatory trait in learning & orientation. Probably explain why I’ve always believed in learning from someone who “has skin in the game” in every key area in life.

To me, it is part of a “Champion mindset “. Being eternally curious  like me, demonstrates an awareness of feeling psychologically safe enough to proactively seek out feedback with the intention for self-improvement.

Organisations and its leaders need to emphasise a “learning environment “ instead of one based on fear.  Evolving a “Culture of Learning’ is key to success and emphasising the importance of having a ‘growth mind-set’. Having a growth mind-set is part-and-parcel of being a great Physique Artist. 

But, bear in mind there are no perfect learning people, even if you have a close-to-perfect feedback system like the human body.

To dig deep, you have to dig deep. To find “YOU “, you need to Mine … for your diamond 💎…Re-fine YOU… and then Define … your BEST YOU.

Feedback is essential to enhancing effectiveness and creativity but the feedback process needs good design. 

There are no perfect feedback systems. All business people need to be good designers.

Most adults are wired to fear failure. It’s drummed into people by our archaic outdated education systems.

Organisations suffer because staff are afraid to take risks as there isn’t an environment that encourages this. In physique artistry, it’s important to feel the freedom to take “calculated risks” on key aspects that will have a dramatic effect on your final outcome.

just like I need to create the right environment, an environment that encourages an anabolic response from muscles 💪, an organisation needs to create a culture where failing is not the focus.

Businesses will need leadership has the ability and fortitude to experiment with novel combinations. This inspiration-centred approach will inevitably have many mistakes but the journey from innovation to commodity is so swift that individuals and organisations must be relentless if they are to remain competitive.

For a organisation, The question is what should you do with the failure? What can we learn from it? A great physique artist learns to have a strong 💪 “connection “ with his self … it is a strong relationship, one based on experimentation, process and reflection and assessment (using the mirror is a key component – the mirror does not lie).

As Trevor Baylis, INVENTOR said –

“The key to success is to risk thinking unconventional thoughts. Convention is the enemy of progress. As long as you’ve got slightly more perception than the average wrapped loaf, your could invent something.”

That is, what organisations need to do through the feedback process : to focus on the human connection… the relationship and building that “emotional labour”. Developing and going through the process of reflection and “looking in the mirror “ and actually asking the RIGHT questions:

  • why do they do the things the say they do?
  • Is there a better way?
  • What are their intrinsic values ?
  • Are these values tied to their purpose
  • How are they giving value to their loca & global communities.

Most Innovation and inventions and breakthroughs come from reassembling existing ideas in new, creative ways.

I love Trees. Be like a Tree. Let go of old ways of doing things … like trees let go of their leaves … each season to allow for new fresh ones (ideas) to evolve.

Neurons that wire together, fire 🔥 together!!

The leaders of tomorrow’s successful organisations need to create and maintain an environment that fosters support for risk-taking and creativity.

This will lead to innovation.

The organisation needs to encourage vulnerable behaviour, openness…. this evolves from More trust, more care and more patience. And this should come from the top and filter down through all the levels of the organisation.

The culture is to be fuelled by a change of thinking … a re-wiring of the brain 🧠 to create a way of thinking that does not fear failure. And not just with words or “window-dressing “.  It should be authentic.

The environment should be one that fosters “Champion Feelings and Champion Thinking. An organisation that focuses on feedback being a learning experience and opportunity, like a good physique artist does with his self.

Lesrning to have Champion Feelings and Champion thinking is Something that all employees can learn to be better at. This is encouraged with feedback processes that is there to enhance learning. Organisations where employees are allowed to be themselves and be comfortable being vulnerable.

Build your bridge from where you are to … where you desire to be. A lot of times, it pays to get help from an experienced builder… who “walks the walk” ..& not all “just talk”


Mr Vulnerable, where are you … come out, come out … wherever you are!

In much of today’s modern society, allowing oneself to be vulnerable is not something that is encouraged. There are “pockets of this kind of behaviour “ here and there, but on the whole, It is frowned upon.

Men should never show weakness and vulnerability. It requires a lot of courage from employees (especially men). What is needed is undying support from leaders of the organisation.

As we know, learning can be painful (and i have learned many painful lessons lifting weights in the gym). The key thing is to allow yourself to learn to be better at “being comfortable being uncomfortable “.

Learning, like muscle growth, needs stimulation and involves  change snd adaptation. It is the process of adaptation that new muscle grows (.new exercise techniques to maximise growth). In businesses, change and adaptation happens when it wrestles with new ways of doing things and continually asking questions.

Questions that forces them to question the way they do things, Even what they think is “what’s best” or “correct “.

Here’s something I learned along the way to the Top of my sport of Physique Artistry:

“You have to be willing to be wrong! That is what leaders of tomorrow’s organisations should be focused on to foster environments that encourages more creativity.” And why is Creativity important? If you’re not exercising creativity, you may as well be dead.

“To cease to think creatively is only slightly different from ceasing to live.”  (Benjamin Franklin)

Less fear, happier employees, more creativity. Better productivity? Better profits? Is there a strong correlation, at least?

I know there is.

I’ve got – not one, but two world championships Trophies 🏆 & medals 🏅& have designed and run several successful businesses to prove it.

Cheers

Quality lean muscle that “flows” takes time & a goal of balance & symmetry

 

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Questions. We just cannot live without them.

I like the colour purple.
Here’s a question: do you?


Why do we have questions?

Is it because of our need for answers?

Then, I ask, why do we want answers?

Can we just live with the questions? Is asking questions a way of interrogating reality? Is there another way?

Why do we have questions? Why do we question? What is a question? Does it help us make sense of Reality? Is questioning seeking balance /elegance in your life? If it is … is it the FINAL or pinnacle of finding this elusive “balance & elegance “ in one’s life?

It seems like WE ARE unable or unwilling to live with questions.

Why, I wonder?

Here are a few more questions:
1) do you like the colour red? On doors?
2) Do you like doors?
3) Is a question the “door to what lies beyond?”

Not knowing makes you vulnerable.

Is that such a bad thing, being vulnerable?

It seems being or allowing oneself to be vulnerable is a difficult thing for people to do. Questions and living with unanswered questions does just this: leaves the questioner vulnerable, weak. Is this such a bad thing?

Maybe, it could argued that questions open up gaping holes in our personality, our theology or our lifestyle. Questions, for many, force an honesty that they are unwilling to face – an honesty that requires them to live with themselves… with their lives, unresolved.

I think most humans do not like living with that unanswerable questions in their heads. And why? Well, questions so strange things to people and one of the hardest things for people to embrace is the uncertainty surrounding unanswered questions.

Maybe you like a green door?
Does the colour of the door matter? Does it have a significant effect on what is inside? Why?

Destruction before tender, loving care.

It is through the process questioning that will liberate us all. In the process, we are effectively disassembling ourselves from within . This disassembling will give us answers …. that will give us all the grandest Expansion.

And If it doesn’t, don’t “ throw in the towel “, stick with it!

Destruction before tender, loving care. Just like it is essential for creating new muscles and keeping existing  muscles: apply forces and destroy muscles and then give it the best nutrition and rest. Then, you repeat  it all over again… and again … and

Just like questioning.

You could choose to go into the darkness and explore it or …. stay with the light.

It is through disassembling that we move flexible boundaries (sometimes break) so that … we can include inside these boundaries all that WE ARE.

And REVALUE it.

And just like the creation of muscle … become …

REnewed.

A yellow door maybe? Perhaps you like the colour yellow.
What is your colour blind?

We may not know all the answers. That’s ok, God is always there.

In the book of Job in the Bible, I roughly counted 288 question marks, many of which came from the mouth of Job. Other questions came from his counsellors who are like side-show con-artists of today.

God said of them –

“Who is this that darkens my counsel with words without knowledge?”

However, God does answer the questions… 78 of them, in fact, by the end of the book of Job. God’s answers to 78 of them came in the form of questions, though.

God is an expert at answering a question with a question.

Are you?

Does the shape of the door affect what is inside?
Why does colour matter?
Why do we need doors?

The Truest Answer Rests within YOU.

Many times God answers our questions with questions. Questions that leave us humbled, weak, flabbergasted, speechless and with increased faith and belief.

Believing, Not because we have the answer but that we have “seen” God. We’ve seen the light and the path that we walk, better.

It doesn’t matter that we have more questions than answers. It doesn’t matter that we have more questions now than when we started our journey on life.

What matters is that you see God, did it is in the seeing that lay before you the answers. The truest answer to all your questions… the truest answer rests within you .

The truest answer to all our questions is to : WORSHIP HIM.

One thing remains: questions… we just cannot live without them.

Cheers to you wherever you are in this beautiful world !

Maybe all the answers to your questions lie within YOU.
Your mind, your consciousness.
Maybe, it is not about seeking answers but simply asking more questions. Maybe questions are asked simply for discussion and debate … to help fuel our capacity to RE-IMAGINE … a better future.
A future that is NOT based on the doors of the past…/ future based on alternate possibilities of the future.
A Future based on the future, not past.

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How to eat an Elephant.

Can you see “me” in my son? Can you see you in your son?

A tribute to my son … allow me to storytell.

How to eat an elephant.

How to eat an elephant, yep, That was something my most valued business/life mentor taught me when I first met him.

He asked me one day, he said –

Paul, young man, how do you eat an elephant?”

Now, that was a question i just couldn’t answer at that time. I said what any 30+ year old would say –

Fuck if I knew!”

Then, he said something that I always recall when I take on a big project – patience.

One mouthful at a time, young man … one mouthful at a time, until you’ve eaten that whole elephant.”

There are many elephants in our lives – ourselves, our children, our careers and so forth. One such elephant for me is my son, Zachary. A vibrant, energetic & curious young boy, evolving at a very fast rate. One of my tasks as his dad is to love him, unconditionally. No matter what, always being the wind beneath his wings when he decides to fly.

To keep fueling his curiosity and provide relevant boundaries that allow him to grow and stretch and possibly shift. 

It’s New Year’s Eve and I sit and reflect on many moments in my life so far. Christmas came and went and for my family, prayer snd devotion is always a constant reminder to give gratitude through grace, even in times of heightened joy & excitement.

A few months old … in our Family gym I owned & managed for about 7 years. He has no recollection of this period of our lives.

Basics That Never Fail.

The Basics of almost every field are a vital foundation of Mastery of that field. For example, in physique artistry, it is the basic lifts of – squats, deadlifts and bench presses. In football, it’s being able to catch and pass an oval ball with speed and accuracy in almost any conditions.

In our roles as fathers & dads, teaching our sons to take responsibility early in life will prepare them well for the workplace in the future. I believe two kinds of responsibility should be emphasised:

  1. responsibility for themselves
  2. Responsibility towards others

These are the basics that never fail when it comes to personal growth and character. I try to educate him on these areas every day.

Out and about with the future Mr Valentine

Santa brought knives 🔪 for my son.

Not many Dads/parents buy their sons (let alone their 9 1/2 year old ) son – knives 🔪 . Well, my son got a few, knives that is. Santa brought knives for my son & placed it in stockings for Christmas.

A gift 💝 from me, his father & dad.

Zachary has always had a soft spot for knives & swords since he was a baby. I thought 💭 id introduce him to wood carving and help transmute that endless energy & enthusiasm for it into something creative: WOOD CARVING.

I did a bit of this in my childhood with my good mate kindie friend, Dr Manoa during weekend sleepovers at his parents place. We used to carve out creations from discarded pieces of wood.

Dr Manoa and I today. Friendship that’s been strong since kindergarten. Now, a Top Legal advisor to Governments, worldwide.

Patience & care was harnessed in this creative exercise.

A sword from a piece of discarded wood.

My son did his first carving & created his first sculpture: a sword 🗡 from a piece of discarded wood.

Attributes worked on: patience + delicate touches

Time: 45 minutes

Achievement: showed that he could FOCUS 🧘 intently on something else other than Nintendo & Minecraft. Also learned that little strokes with the knife 🔪 gives better control and accuracy.

Result: he started & finished a mini-project and experienced a sense if satisfaction in that. He Created a thing of beauty with his own hands. Was happy with what he produced. I was very impressed with his focus and final output.

He earned 2 hours of entertainment after that.

Little strokes create beauty … just as much as little strokes fell big trees.

Zachary carved a sword 🗡 from a discarded block of wood.

Possible repeat of The Dad in the future? Of 2 x World Champion NATURAL physique artist titles?

Time will tell.

Oh well … it’s a start for him in the art of sculpture. Maybe, one day he will sculpt his body with different tools 🛠(Dumbells & nutrition) to build a world -class NATURAL physique.

The greatest warriors: TIME & PATIENCE (It took me 10 years of physique artistry sculpting to have the BEST NATURAL physique in the world).

A 10 year goal of sculpting the Best Natural physique art. Took me 10 years to achieve this. Patience & mastery of instrument.

Willpower.
The most important and most valuable art he works on is “art of/sculpture of the mind “. Believing that there is Power in the Mind. Believing in the Power of his mind….& that that power comes from God. To understand that there are many forms of power – financial power, horse power, Political power etc. but the most important of all is
WILL POWER.

The power to go beyond and achieve what was originally thought of as IMPOSSIBLE. as I tell him and his sister, to …

Take the IM out of IMPOSSIBLE…. and make it Possible!”

With God’s help.

He helps those who help themselves. He meets ALL believers, half way … in their journey towards realising their desires.

I pray that God continues to shower his blessings on you and your loved ones, those you care & value the most… in 2021 and ….

Beyond.

Cheers & ahoy to YOU wherever you are in this place world

The old cap’n Viking Pirate 🏴‍☠️ & his gritty Viking Pirate 🏴‍☠️ prince attempting wood carving foe the first time.

Enjoying Kayaking together in Sydney’s beautiful seas

Admiring ‘beauty’ in design and sound …. and getting in touch with our feminine side:
Beauty and truth.
Be the role model you want your future leader to be.
A big responsibility, yes … but take it.
Like a man, a Real Man.
All the very best
I’m with you.

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Want to upgrade your body and mind? This is HOW.

I love this quote. Increasing your awareness is parameters to having clarity and success in your life.


Light bulb moments.

I have been fascinated with the human body and mind since my early childhood but it really fascinated me in my final years of High School & freshman at University.

I was fascinated with time and had one of my many “light bulb” moments, like hypothesising that “Life was about Energy Management and not Time Management.” Another lightbulb moment came a little later … that we were all spiritual beings encased in a physical capsule.

I had an insatiable desire to read everything I could get my hands on relating to the mind, body and heart, spirit & energy.

I still do.

Life is NOT about Time Management, it is about ENERGY MANAGEMENT. Learn to manage energy better by becoming a better conduit of energy, the better at life, you become.

Little things like … Quality and Quantity.

This machine, this piece of equipment we call the human body really is a masterful wonder of engineering.

My fascination for it has seen me develop a framework specifically to “WORK WITH THE BODY “ , with this magnificent machine unlike the myriads of other ways out there that “works against the human body/mind”.

If you’re anything like me, I’m sure you ask a lot of questions and one may be – “why does the human body seem to wear out well before the age of 100?”

In my youth I used to study 📚my extended family members aged, just on observation alone. Snd I haven’t stopped.

Have you noticed (when you look in the mirror or old photos ) that your hair becomes thinner, your skin wrinkles, your eyesight gets worse snd you become more “hard-of-hearing “. Many (not you of course), lose their intellectual sharpness & memory fails is. Bones wear away and joints become more stiff, teeth fall out and ears grow bigger. Some age faster than others.

Getting old is a great thing to look forward to, isn’t it?

Your body, from a biological perspective, is almost perfect and if you’ve lived past your teens and early twenties, you have reached sexual maturity. Which is the biological aim of life: to survive & reproduce at sexual maturity.

Quality of life is just as important, if not more important than quantity. To improve your quality of life, i believe you should never neglect these other six areas –

  1. Health is literally, your wealth.
  2. Emotional Health & intelligence
  3. Leisure & inactivity: your “pit-stops”
  4. Financial Health
  5. Spiritual Health
  6. Energy Mastery

Most people want to live a long life. Through the ages, human beings have been obsessed with immortality. Back in the days of Plato, Socrates & Aristotle, this was a major topic of discussion.

These ancient alchemists were on a continuous search for the Philosopher’s stone … & the quest for ever-lasting life. Of immortality.

Courage is the springboard to success in anything worthwhile.

Fear of death 💀.

The basic fear of human beings is fear of death. But it really fascinates me to see how much people do to themselves every single day to contribute to an early & premature death.

They say that the average life span, is about 75 for men and 80 for women in civilised & western societies.

I do believe that the power to RE-SET & upgrade your cells rests in YOU, the individual. It lies in your ability to take responsibility for your own health, your own life.

 

Prevention is difficult to sell.

Much of our medical system is focused at the end of a person’s life (unfortunately, our medical system treats people only in the last five to 10 years of their life. Over 80% of the Health dollar is spent on this group … obviously because they are the sickest and require the most intensive treatment).

Doctors and surgeons are seen as the go to answer for – drugs or surgery…. places for solutions for the mess that people create for themselves while living.

I believe Doctors and funds should go to the beginning or first half of people’s lives – preventative medicine. You see, I believe that your illness is your responsibility and the medical profession is there to assist you. People working on the medical industry should have two roles –

  1. to educate
  2. Serve

I’ve been helping people, help themselves find better versions of themselves over the last 3 decades. My framework of preventative medicine increases people’s awareness of themselves and their lives.

My tailored solutions then allows people to take actions (sufficient and appropriate) to re-engineer their bodies and … their minds, effectively . It teaches them to take better responsibility for themselves. And why? Well, because their life is important.

What I’ve found is that in this day and age, prevention is difficult to sell.

In this day and age, individuals just DO NOT want to work for something worthwhile, even if their life depended on it and if there was a drug or surgery available. They want the fastest, easiest route. 

In today’s age of instant answers and instant gratification, strategies and tailored/customised solutions (like mine), that require personal accountability and patience are not appealing. Why? Simply because it requires a lot more effort on the part of the individual and DO NOT FIT into people’s idea of modern day living.

Very sad indeed.

Find the courage to keep going. Find the courage to DO THE RIGHT THING for your life. YOU DESERVE it.
Right.
The courage rests in you.
Take Lead, be the Leader that YOU are.

It’s never too late to start.

You’ve had Your body and mind for many years, you’ve probably abused it a little bit, so far. Don’t fret… it’s never too late to repair any of the damage that has been done to your body.

You have to begin from a position do patience.

I have seen miracles happen to the young and old alike. For the old, It is never too late to start a preventative health program. A tailor-made program like I’ve designed for the hundreds of people

It is my belief that preventative strategies can lower your overall Life Risk. Your chance of getting heart attack, strokes or diabetes is reduced, particularly if adopt lifestyle changes for longer periods.

This elderly man, Jim, told me, having bad posture takes away from his Quality of Life

Re-engineer your body and your brain 🧠.

I have helped individuals effectively, upgrade their bodies and … their minds. Yes, I have: re-engineer your body and your brain.

A healthy body is a healthy brain 🧠 and a healthy brain is a healthy mind. A healthy mind is a happy life.

Education Precedes Motivation.

You can Upgrade your body …& your mind … like this

  1. Assess where YOU ARE, NOW – physically, emotionally, spiritually
  2. Assess AGILITY ABILITY.
  3. Develop AGILITY IMMUNITY.
  4. APPLY customised “3-legged stool” LIFESTYLE program
  5. Assess AGILITY ADAPTABILITY.

My first-class preventative lifestyle programs educate & motivate. With > 84% success rate in individuals achieving their original goals or better, independently surveyed over a 12 year period. 

I read somewhere a long time ago that –

Education precedes motivation.”

Love ❤️ YOU,
Respect YOU.
GIVE to YOU. Live with Dignity.
Live SMART.
Allow YOU to be Educated with my “3-legged stool”

I believe that Upgrading your body and mind ultimately moves you closer to a happier life. Obviously, there is no “one-size-fits-all” hat 🎩 to body re-engineering as every individual is unique.

The KEY is the consistency and focus in you being able to apply prescriptive actions and adapt your lifestyle accordingly to fit the designed plan.

It is not enough to just KNOW but DON’T DO. It is not enough, still, to just Know and Do. It is vital , instead to KNOW and TO DO … but TO DO, WELL.

ALL the time, not some of the time.

I recall my grandfather saying –

Seek and ye shall find;

Ask and ye shall receive.”

Don’t wait til it is too late, like > 90% of people. Your life is valuable. The Quality as well as how long you love is important. If you’re looking for healthier, preventative medicine THAT WORKS, seek … me out and you shall find … the answers.

I AM looking forward to seeing and sharing my upgrade formulas with You.

All the very best in your choices,

P.

As Einstein said … everything is energy. It makes logical sense that you need to become a Master at Energy Management, not time management.

 

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A tribute to my daughter.

Learning to o come back from failure last year. Olivia did not make it past the Northern Beaches Zone Finals last year. The Top 5 qualify for the Australian National Championships. She re-set her goal to reach the Championships Finals this year. She not only achieved the goal of qualifying for the National Championships but made the The prestigious Top 5 in the Finals (top 16 out of the BEST 60+ girls who qualified).
She learned disappointment and strengthened her resilience to try again but this time with better execution. Very proud of this sporting achievement.
Note: Physie is an “athletic dance “ that is a fusion of contemporary, ballet, martial arts and beauty of modelling

School Band Captain.

Today she was announced the School BAND Captain for 2021.

Next year, in year six, She will lead the 5 bands (listed below), and will perform in the Top 2 Bands and do solo performances too. She plays the Alto Saxophone.

1) Big Band
2) Stage Band
3) Concert Band
4) Intermediate Band
5) Junior Band

As Band Captain, I know she will carry out her responsibilities of leadership with utmost pride and dedication.

A few of her other achievements –

– Top 5 (she achieved her goal she set at the start : of making it to the Australian Physie championships but also made the Finals (Top 5) out of the Top 60+ best in her age category. In 2019, she didn’t get past the Northern Beaches zone championships (the Top 5 qualify for the Australian Physie Championships). She demonstrated wonderful resilience to bounce back from a disappointment last year
– High Distinction in Level 4 Alto Saxophone Australian Music 🎵 exam
– Premiers writing award 🥇
– School’s Creative Excellence award 🥇
– she’s won the annual Academic Excellence Award  5 years in a row
– Passing the 2 x per week strength,agility,power, flexibility & speed training with me
– Other

In the middle of her routine. She worked consistently and persistently all year to be one of the Nations Top 5 dancers in the elite category. A big impressive on her performance last year.

While these awards are wonderful external achievements, I am more impressed by her attitude to herself snd the standards she sets and aspires to and honours. I am more impressed of her development in to the kind of woman with strong values & principles.

In ALL important areas of life.

Art in motion. Australian Champion Physie Dancer 💃 , representing the standard-setting Mosman Physie Club in the lower north shore, Sydney, Australia.

<Daddy-Daughter Days>

I love 💗 connecting with my daughter on all levels , right from those moments she lived in the 9-month home carried in her mother’s abdomen. I felt her kicks 🦵 and moving body under my touch.

I find real joy in winning her heart every single day.

I am very happy that I have been having weekly “daddy-daughter-dates” almost every week since she was a baby. I have tried to make These dates entertaining & fun but I also try to make it significant as well. I have tried to foster an environment where i can really hear how she is doing and listen to her as she opens up.

My gritty Viking pirate 🏴‍☠️ princess 👸

We have journeyed together in many ways and I have seen her grow spiritually and on some dates we have connected on a deeper level and … with God.

I also try to show her my commitment to my marriage … to loving my wife of almost 20 years now. I hope it sets an example for my daughter of what a loving, committed relationship looks like. She knows I treat my wife like a queen snd I know she thrives in knowing that she is my princess.

A gritty & courageous princess.

My gritty Champion dancing princess has enough hair for a village.

Her Mother… My wife, my Queen. 

I know my wife, Cathy is a key element of my relationship with my girl. I understand fully that my relationship with my children and her are intertwined. I know Olivia feels valued 💕 as a girl when I honour my wife, their mother.

Every single day.(or almost every day)

Here’s what I think 🤔…

I believe daughters in today’s modern societies and interconnected world need mothers and fathers who have FAITH in God and God’s creative design when it comes to their identity. Society CANNOT and WILL NOT dictate WHO my daughter/your daughter is to be. A daughter needs a few select people in her life who have the BELIEF & CONVICTION and ABILITY to help her become the person God created her to be. I know my daughter will give it her best in whatever she sets her mind to. I’ll be in her corner … ALL THE WAY. As I tell her … God meets those half way … he meets those who helps themselves. “

The 💝alentine tribe (minus our dog 🐶 – Mr Fuzzy/Fussy cuddles

Writing HER OWN Story.

i tell her she is writing /authoring her own story. I tell her to OWN Her Story… & write ✍️ from her heart ❤️. I hope to help her edit it where applicable.

I am looking forward to seeing what she writes in the next year .. two year… 10 years … 15 years … 30 years … 50 years …

One thing won’t change.

I WILL ALWAYS be HER Father & DAD.

I thank God for this blessing… This beautiful human being.

My daughter.

My Princess 👸.

Her heart ❤️ belongs to me … for now.

My gritty Viking pirate 🏴‍☠️ Princess 👸 many years ago now

Yep, my gritty princess 👸 is very creative

 

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Sometimes, you just need to GET OUT OF YOUR OWN WAY.

What do you think?

What actually drives us to DO what MATTERS to us most?

What is it that actually drives us to implement what matters to us most? What do you think? Hunger? Love?

In my experience, it would have to be something that would make you feel more alive, independent of the opinion of others or outside metrics of success. Once you’ve established that, you should then ask yourself the question –

“why haven’t I begun it, yet?”

Personally, I’d like to continue to increase my awareness and most importantly, continue to build my COURAGE/boldness reserves & continue to live a life true to myself, not the life others expects of me.

“And why courage?’ you may wonder.

Well, because without courage, nothing great is ever achieved.

As Vincent Van Gogh said –

“ What would life be if we had no courage to attempt anything.”                         “

It’s What you need to do. Work at summoning up your courage.

What do you think you would need to do, to Just DO IT?

What is magic to/for you? Do you create magic and use the magic WITHIN YOU.

Sometimes, you just need to Get out of your own way!

To do this & implement it successfully & enjoy the process, you will need to learn (and un-learn irrelevant things) to be more agile. IN order to achieve this and be engaged by it, I believe (for many people) … sometimes, you just need to … GET OUT OF YOUR OWN WAY!

And …

Learn to work with who YOU ARE, BETTER. … build on your strengths and based on the value of your work has provided & will provide … by Limiting your options to ONLY the – “Top 3” so that making quick decisions is easier and …

… allow YOU to move from the Intangible (dream) … to the Tangible (physical form).

So that you can say (at your death-bed) that –

I tried to honour at least some of my dreams along the way, as I lived my life.”

Appreciate your Uniqueness. if your uniqueness makes you weird, so be it.

Boldness has genius, power & magic in it. DO IT NOW… tomorrow may never come.

Keep fuelling that courage of yours because … I believe, COURAGE/boldness is the greatest tool for realising your/our dreams…. and bringing it into our physical reality.

Many years ago, I bought a fridge magnet a year before realising one of my physical goals/dreams – to be the BEST in the world at my chosen sport of NATURAL physique artistry/bodybuilding almost 15 years ago now. As most of you know, I realised and made that goal a reality … and that goal and those words on the magnet resonates with me…

NOTE: it was exciting & scary to represent your country against the best from other countries in the world and be bold and confident enough to compete and make the Finals (Top 5) in the world.

The magnet (photo attached ) still sits on my fridge and had a quote that Goethe said –

“boldness has genius, power & magic in it.”

My fridge magnet.

DO IT NOW, tomorrow may never come.

Yes, it is Old wisdom, & it has helped me in many things that I’ve Done and am doing … this old wisdom is as relevant now and the near future/ tomorrow as it was back then.

So … I say, desire to be a MASTER at being bold & invest the necessary time to invest … and continue to fuel your courage in everything you say and do.

And continue to DO IT NOW… remind yourself that –

Someday” isn’t a day of the week!

Make that ‘someday’, TODAY and let your courage listen to your heart and lead the way. 

 

Until next time,

P.

Are you are leader? WHy? You’re already a manager, if you’ve lived this far in your life already. Are you both a manager and a Leader? Because you’re Courageous and you let your courage, LEAD.

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ONE with consciousness – The time I got 100% in a major 3 hour University Advanced Mathematics Examination.

To dig deep, you have to dig deep.

Balance & symmetry brings you closer to harmony … to beauty …closer to infinity. Just like mathematics does

The Power of Five.

What’s on my mind right now?

Well, it’s been on my mind since I consciously began thinking about it in my early pre-teens. The adults around me at that time of my life didn’t know the answers to my questions and so cheekily told me to write ✍️ a book.

And I have. Matter of fact, I’ve written a few books and am a writer.

And what is “it”? … what has been on mind since my early childhood? Something you’ve probably thought of yourself, a topic that fascinates me.

The Power of Five, exists in certain flowers as explained by the Mathematical Fibonacci Sequence. Nature displays beauty for a brief moment of time … it is created and then it disappears. Forever dynamic.

What is consciousness?

Some say it is The ability to be aware of and to be able to perceive the relationship between oneself and one’s environment. There’s an interconnection between matter and all other matter. All matter absorbs and reemits energy & information across space & time.

Our very essence is consciousness.

I’m thinking of the concept of “consciousness “. It just fascinates me and has for well over 30 years now. Many scientists have attempted to understand what this thing called consciousness is but no one truly fully understands.

This is a very difficult question because our very essence is consciousness, and yet we can’t seem to grasp what this very essence is “ (Velmans and Schneider, 2006)

The big mystery/puzzle is: the qualities of consciousness seems very different than the qualities of the physical world.

For example – to pose a question often referred to as the “hard problem” – how can a physical brain of electro-chemical impulses produce conscious sensations, and thoughts?

Is consciousness part of the mind. Isn’t the mind what the brain does?

To think, really think .. is probably the hardest thing To do in life

Our brain 🧠 = pc = information receptor.

I hypothesise that Our brain 🧠 acts as an “information receptor”, resonating with certain frequencies (wavelengths).

Like the resonance process used by bats, dolphins & whales that use sonar to send out signals and receive reflections back to locate targets, our human brains 🧠 is an analog tool  of this process.

We are all Real Beings living in a very real material existence consisting of matter & information just as we experience it.

There is a mechanism to describe how mind can manipulate matter.

To ask or to tell? Does it matter?

With Mr Fuzzy/Fussy cuddles.

Some questions Im thinking 🤔 of (for many years now) as I sit here in my backyard pondering 🤔 the mysteries of life, with Mr Fuzzy/Fussy Cuddles are –

1. Is consciousness located in the brain?

2. If so, why and can it be also outside of the brain 🧠? All round us.

3. How is it possible that we can perceive consciousness outside the brain 🧠… in the physical world 🌎 ?

Perception” itself, is a mystery.

Here’s what I think is a possibility:

Our consciousness is connected with the physical, yes. This world largely derive from “perceived incompatibilities” or differences between consciousness and the physical world.

And what would these perceived incompatibilities/differences be?” You may be thinking 🤔

In the Quantum world the Experimenter becomes part of the experiment.
That is the “hard problem” of the Quantum

The nature of consciousness.

I think 🤔 the majority of humans just don’t know how to “tune in” into the right frequency (if we accept that we are wavelengths/embodies frequencies) to connect with consciousness. This is, j believe, a significant limitation of billions of people in the world and as the scientist Fiegl says, is a limitation in our understanding-

Perhaps there is some significant limitation in our understanding of the physical world contributes to these philosophical quagmires, as much as our lack of understanding of the nature of consciousness (Fiegl, 1967)”

I believe I know how to “close this huge gap in understanding “….

I now have a method to provide solutions to this one mystery of life. Being an avid “student of life” after all these years of thinking & deliberating on it. I have “tapped into” consciousness many times in my life so far (many examples I can give you)

and one ☝️ prominent one being – I majored in Mathematics & Physics in my first degree.

Everything has a frequency, everything has a resonance. What is your resonance? What resonates with you?

The time I got 100% in a major 3 hour University Advanced Mathematics Examination.

The time I got 100% in a major 3 hour University Advanced Mathematics examination. Yes, you read that last sentence right. Not 95% or even 99.5%.

No, I got 100%!

The eventual Gold Medallist in Mathematics had the second highest at 91%. Only 20 people got over 80% (my good mate, the wondering yogi 🧘🏾‍♂️– Dr Rivers who lives just down the road from me did that same exam and managed 81%). Eighty percent of the candidates got less than 60% or failed

He knew the impossibility of getting 100%. But he witnessed it being made possible that day. Everyone did.

The thing is more than half of the candidates failed. How was it even possible for a student to get a PERFECT SCORE. The university had never got a perfect exam paper like that- ever. They use that as a “perfect model exam paper” for future students since and is available to borrow and view.

How did you do that Paul?” Everyone came up to me and asked. You could say this was definitely one case of a MIRACLE.

Continue to strengthen your relationship with YOU

One with consciousness.

I said I didn’t recall sitting the exam paper … but I do recall something strange in the last 2 weeks leading up to this major exam. I felt very very different .. and I didn’t want to be with anyone or talk to anyone. I felt quite cold and I remember feeling an overwhelming sense of happiness. It was as if I was on another consciousness level.

something else or someone else did the exam for me that day … I believe it was consciousness. I was just a medium of energy/knowledge/information transference. I was just an instrument 🎻… I was “tuned in” … I became one with consciousness.

Do you want me to tell you how to “tap into “ consciousness?

One day , you can learn HOW to … maybe in my book … one day soon … just not today

Need to make my kids’ school lunches now (back to reality ha ha ha )

Enjoy your day wherever YOU are in this beautiful world 🌎!

Note: Like it or not, we appear to live in a participatory universe – there is no such thing as Pure Objective Reality. We influence everything we interact with. So I ask YOU – Is “asking” different to “telling”?

You = information = knowledge = God

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Decline in Honour, a consequence of our society’s drive for instant self-gratification.

You – a Father, are a Superhero, whether you know it or not.
Your children are watching you like a Hawk. Don’t be in a situation where it’s – “do as I say, not as i do”. Their young minds don’t operate like that. They DO AS YOU DO. So, up your game is you have to.

Honour is a gift we give others.

I’m writing this as I do one of my key daily habits – I’m doing “cardio” on a x-trainer and This thought just crossed my mind. It is based on one of the many observations I’ve made of life over the years.

It relates to honour.

There was a time when “honour “ meant a lot.

It meant dedication, integrity, grit and doing the right thing even under trying circumstances. Does it still have importance and appeal? With the proliferation of high profile cases (& not so high-profile friends and family), planted in the news over the last decade or two, it seems …

No longer.

Maybe it’s the age we’re living in, where no one seems to believe in pleasure delaying, in the value of patience. There is an unbelievable low patience level and it is one of the more silent but influential epidemics.

The word honour seems to have lost a lot of meaning in our culture, modern societies’ insatiable desire for instant and self-gratification.

What happened to the old fashioned- “good things come to those who wait?

When does honour mean anything? When it begins by having a perspective and view of something that is beyond & outside of ourselves. When we think of others, first… when we live to serve others, like Jesus did. Honour is a gift we give others.

This is very difficult in our culture where it is about

– “what do I get out of it?”… and NOW!

But how do children learn about honour?

Usually, children learn about it when they see their fathers & mothers act honourably themselves.

Like genuine love, honour is a gift we give someone. It involves the decision we make BEFORE we put love into action that a person is of high value. In fact love for someone begins to flow once we have made the decision to honour him or here.

As fathers and mothers we give our children the gift of honour by –

  1. extending it first to our parents (if they are still alive);
  2. helping them find value in times of struggle.
  3. recognising our parenting strengths and style.
  4. providing a healthy balance in our homes.
  5. establishing loving boundaries.
  6. building positive loyalties.
  7. offering honour to God.

I turn to a Bible quote I recall from my 8 years as an altar boy in my early childhood and it said –

“A good name is to be worth more than silver and gold.”(Proverbs 22:1).

That means you can “take it to the bank when dealing with an honourable man. Are you that kind of person? Is your word , bankable?

What do you “see?” How you perceive the world influences your reality. Change your lenses if you need to.

It not only opens doors but it opens hearts too.

I have experienced it and witnessed it too. That is something a very good mentor of mine said –

Be honourable, ALWAYS. It not only opens doors but it opens hearts as well.”

Lies, like all sins, have no degree of gravity. There’re all equal in the eyes of the Lord. A sin is a sin. Full stop! So-called “white lies” can be a slippery slope for many, as bad habits … like all habits tend to build momentum.

The entry point to anything, whether bad or good, is the first step in that direction.

The habitual slippery slope of lying will destroy your honour. Like gateway drugs, you will never comprehend how addicted you can become to much harder drugs.

A slippery slope, remember.

So, speaking to ALL fathers out there, think about what I’ve just said. Today, if you’ve just begun walking down that road of dishonour, stop 🛑!

It’s not too late to turn back now.

Your children are watching you like a Hawk and they are much more tuned in and smarter than you think. You don’t want to look them in their eyes one day, asking them to forgive or even understand why “you did it.”

Along with beauty, comes strangeness. Embrace your strangeness … your unique ness.

A major destroyer of children.

This is a real major battle for all parents, a fight against a major destroyer of children – their feeling valueless and insignificant. Every day is a battle and an opportunity for you (as a father or mother) to wage this war. Don’t ever neglect building self-worth in your children. No matter how old your children are, it’s never too late from unfolding your hands and honouring them. Consistently applying this may save the heartache of damaged relationships, and they also get a strong foundation to truly value God, themselves and others.

To you and all dads/mums/parents out there, win this war against this major destroyer of children.

Give them the gift of honour.


Don’t make it hard for your children.

Our modern-Day societies love great stories, especially ones that involve a fall from grace, a man or woman or integrity who “gets their hands dirty “.

A loss of honour. In days gone by, that would be considered worse than death. 

Our culture eats people up who break their values for short-term gains and the like. Some of these men and women were once morally upright individuals doing their best for what’s right.

Then, they slip….& its a long, long, lonely ride down … Our culture will tell your children to dishonour you, just like everyone else are. But you know, and I know and all dads out there know that your children will truly want to honour you, their father. Their superhero… their dad.

So, do the right thing, ALWAYS. Not some of the time, always.

And don’t go down that slippery slope of dishonour… and don’t make it hard for your children and you do this by consistently showing them what true honour is.

My questions to all dads – whom do you need to honour today In your life? What do you need today to restore honour to your name?

All the very best in your decisions, men of honour,

until next time,

p.

Like an FM station, just one point off gives you an irritating “shhhh…”

My kids and I with Ruby the Dog. They just adore each other.
Choose to spend time with your kids, not ‘quality time’. Keep feeding their Sense of self-worth, every single day. Never stop Giving them the gift 💝 of honour. 

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