I don’t know about you but my tolerance for stench is pretty high.

It probably was harnessed over the last 23 years of being in and around gym floors working out among other gym enthusiasts. Yep, I can handle pretty awful smells now and I am very happy about that.

A lot of times my family would complain of a smell but it wouldn’t even affect my nostrils. It doesn’t even register on the Odour Richter scale. That’s how tolerant my nose is to stench.

Now, I know this is quite an embarrassing topic to talk about but I am going to just let’er rip and talk about gas, flatulence, cutting the cheese, wind, anal acoustics … well, you get my drift. In all my years in the gym my nose has smelled them all.

All and every kind of fart there is, I think.

Lifters and potential lifters beware: everyone’s farting up a storm in the weights room. It makes sense doesn’t it – when you’re squeezing, grimacing and grunting and pushing, the occasional gas leak is bound to happen.

This still is far better than the smells people must endure in those closed up, very small group cycling/machine/cardio rooms. That is just wrong and unhealthy. Anything you experience (in terms of smell) in the weights areas of gyms is nothing compared to the stench these claustrophobic classes enthusiasts experience.

However, there are people who love it and god bless them.

When (and not if) you experience this sometimes nauseous gas in the weights room, you will know.

But don’t panic, here’s a few tips to help you get through the experience relatively unscathed:

• Switch to ‘mouth breathing’ when you’re in the weights room
• Bury your nose in your own shirt/towel. Your own stink tends to be more acceptable than the other person next to you
• Keep it quick, efficient and effective. No dillydallying!
• Now I don’t always say this but don’t forget, there is always tomorrow.

There you go, now if you smell the occasional fart emitted by your partner (husband/boyfriend or wife/girlfriend), remind yourself of how much more awful the smells (combinations of farts and body odour) it is for most people that go to a gym. Far worse than what you periodically inhale in the comfort of home.

My point is: Don’t get mad at him/her!

Look at it from another perspective. I think, tell him or her that they need to work on their diet and make it smell more. Yep, that’s right – they should improve their stink!

Why?

Now, I am going to make a bold statement now – because the stinker your fart is, the better your diet is. Your fart is closely related to your diet. Yep, I know sounds crazy right – no, it doesn’t! The output (farts) is a direct result of the input in to your system. You see, protein stinks or rather nitrogen gas which is protein by-product from your gut, smells.

So, it follows that if your fart does not stink enough, then, your protein intake is inadequate. And what did I say about the importance of protein in your diet? The more, the better.

Your goal: Increase your daily protein intake to adequate levels for your lean body mass. This creates an anabolic environment that helps you stay younger – longer. It is part of the fountain of youth – aids in muscle retention.

And your farts will smell even worse. Why would you want this?

Well, simply that the more impressive your fart stench, the healthier you are. I know, I know, there could be several reasons for having very stink farts but let’s keep it simple. So, we can all agree, that it is highly likely that:

Increased protein consumption = increased fart stench.

Use the stink as an indicator of how healthy your diet is. And you don’t need no fancy gadget or app to monitor how stink you are.

Just use what the good Lord gave you: your nose.

So, there you have it – we all stink! And you thought …. You didn’t right? Admittedly, to varying degrees. Most people go see specialists out of concern for their bad fart stench. I think you’ve got to seriously consider the risk of having low-stench farts and its implications. It is something to take heed.

Hypothesis: if your fart does not stink, then I think you’ve got something seriously wrong with your diet and digestive system. Go get it looked at or use it as a sign to bump up your protein intake. So, here’s an interesting formula:

More (adequate) protein ==> Healthier diet==> Stinker farts ==> longer life ==> Better ‘life’ in your years.

So, there you go, enjoy the next fart you have and assess the intensity of your stench. Don’t hide away in the corner. Let it out and get feedback from people around you. If they make for the nearest door, take it as a good sign. If they hang around then it could be smelling you something to be concerned about.

Remember: The worse the smell, the better.

Until next time,