Beliefs, Energy, hope, life, long-term perspective, perseverance, respect, time, you

The right to be happy is not always right.

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The right to be happy is a growing trend in today’s society and I believe it will continue to grow to unprecedented levels.

Its everywhere, lack of commitment, that is – in marriage, business, politics and even in sport. Marriages fall apart at the first sign of trouble and conflict. Business partners end relationships when they can’t see eye-to-eye on a particular deal. In business, companies seem to be only too keen to make people redundant and employees are not afraid to move on to ‘greener pastures’ if it is convenient for them. Existing contracts and commitments made null and void. Fair enough.

Contracts are put in the bin and not honored. Politics – well just see the endless mockery of the leaders of this country playing their roles they had been elected to.

You see lack of commitment played out in the public arena in sports: rugby players ending their contract early or clubs ending the coaching contract for coaches because of short-term lack-lustre on-field performances of their teams. Examples are everywhere around us.

Commitment seems to be very cheap these days.

You hear a professional sports star signing a multi-million dollar multiple year contract and then want to pull out of the team in year 3 say, because clubs won’t renegotiate his contract. Why does he want to renegotiate? Because some other person has signed a new contract a little more than his? He wants to renegotiate because his contract is no longer personally convenient? So, he refuses to keep his commitment until he gets his way. Players won’t be able to give 100 percent on the field if he doesn’t get his contract renegotiated. They are getting $500,000 a year, can you really blame them?

There is a commitment phobia endemic in our societies. People are afraid to commit to anything. People are quick to break promises without remorse; functions are attended but not experienced; hopes are dreamed but not put in to action; words of support are voiced but no support is rendered when needed in time of action.

There is no commitment to gym memberships, no commitment to friendships, no commitment to sporting clubs, no commitment to political parties, no commitment to the community, no commitment to a cause, no commitment to the country they live in and no commitment to the human race.

Well, I have news for everyone – commitment matters! This is the way to success in almost all areas in life. Whether it be your goal of body transformation, or completion of a qualification or a football player’s success or your career longevity in you place of employment or your relationships with family and friends.

Commitment matters. Commitment matters with everything, with every goal that is worthwhile achieving.

What about marriage? If ever a person says after celebrating his/her 50th anniversary, that he and his wife never had a serious fight or argument, then either they are just blatantly lying or they had a very boring relationship! You will experience what I call a ‘flat tire’ in your relationship more than once in your marriage. This would likely apply to most long-term relationships. Just like travelling with a flat tire is uncomfortable and bumpy experience for everyone in the vehicle, so will the marriage be during this period.

The ‘flat tire’ represents periods of conflict and disagreement. These periods test your resolve to commitment. Periods of genuine unhappiness. These will be periods of emotional blandness when you cannot generate anything but a yawn for one another. That’s life, as they say!

Do you think that commitment matters then? You bet it does!

What will you do when unexpected hurricanes blow through your home or you’re your sails on your ship in life has holes in them? Will you give up on your marriage, pack it in and go home to mama and dada? Will you give up and throw in the towel because you’re inconvenienced? Or will your commitment hold you steady? Hold your ship steady?

Here’s what you should do: set your jaw and clench your fists for a fight. Nothing short of death must ever be permitted to come between you and your partner. Nothing! That can be said for your commitment in any long-term contract. Your word is your commitment. You fight to keep your word, even if sometimes, fulfilling it makes you a little unhappy.

Don’t give up on your commitment just because it becomes a little inconvenient. Someone wise once said “ there is a mighty big difference between good, sound reasons and reasons that sound good”. Don’t follow what our society teaches us at the moment, that only one commitment sounds good: the right to be happy

Children that see adults committed in their relationships – friendships, marriages etc, will have a special advantage when they are older. They will have an intuitive understanding that his/her commitment, for example, in marriage is NOT  a right to be happy. It is the right to play a role of husband/wife to the best of their ability. It is a right to demonstrate willingness to be responsible.

Even when it is inconvenient and makes you feel uneasy. Even when it means he or she sacrifices his personal happiness.

Commitment matters. Stick to yours. Value loyalty. Play all your roles in life to the best of your ability, especially during periods of extreme discomfort.

This is when you grow the most and truly succeed in the art of life.

Until next time,

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