a better life, action, adaptation, asking questions, attitude, awareness, beauty, better choices, boys, care empathy, choices, courage, dads, dads love, decisions, ego, Energy, examined life, habits, Imagination, kids, leadership, life, long-term perspective, love, man, manners, needs, parenthood, parenting skills, perseverance, real man, reflection, respect, responsibility, self improvement, self-respect, strengths, taking action, truth, you, your life

Who are YOU?

We’re all captaining our ships through the changing ‘seas of life’.
Captain well, I say. Captain well.
Resolve to continue to get better at life.

Dreams  shape our future.

I have dreams.

Sometimes.

Do you?

One of my dreams is for a future world that is better for all.

It is time for us as men to become Real Men, to put the Gentle back in Man. The world needs more Gentle-Men. It is time for us men to reject this fragile ego business.

We use it (fragile ego) to cover up our failures and avoid looking at ourselves. We need to look at ourselves with honesty and with dignity.

What’s happening to Men? Have men forgotten what it means to be a man?

Thus, the women and children in our lives, who, it seems, have better egos than we do, must pick up the slack. They seem to take responsibility for our actions and feelings.

Our sons become the men we are.
Be responsible to YOU first. Become the Best Real Gentleman you can be – for you, first and … our sons will have the best template they can build on

Resolve.

What has Men become?

Come on guys!

We need to resolve to try to look at ourselves with integrity, let us do some soul searching’. Let us try to struggle honestly. How do we expect to grow as a man, an individual … a human being?

They say that the best way to overcome fears is to face them. Take action. Action eliminates all fear. Face your fears with the comforting belief that God is always by your side.

So, as Men, we need to be confronted by our actions, messages and weaknesses (I know I have many) if we expect to learn and grow.

As I tell all muscle-building enthusiasts, “we need to leave our ego at the door”. Men, I propose that, us men need to stand tall and deliver.

We need to stop hiding behind excuses and refrain from blaming others. We need to discontinue hiding behind phrases like, “This is just the way I am.” What a cop-out, what a load of rubbish!!

Let’s be honest with ourselves, Men.

Being honest with ourselves is probably one of the most courageous things a man can do in his world. Look honestly at his inner soul and take actions to make him a better person.

Continuously.

Let us have a good, hard look at who we are. This is very important to the future of the world.

Why?

With the next generation of Valentine males – Zachary.

Our sons use us as their blueprint

Who YOU are is the best indication of who our sons will become.

The future Champions and Champion Leaders of our future world making decisions that will impact on the fate of the world.

To save the future world, we, as Men, need to save our ‘inner world’ and be the BEST Real Gentlemen we can be. Our future world depends on it.

Again, who are YOU?

Read that last sentence again.

My son and I.
Provide the best blueprint you can of what it means to be a man.
He needs you now more than ever.
Save him now so that tomorrow’s world will be saved too.
Vv.

Let’s all resolve to become increasingly aware. Take sufficient and appropriate actions and most importantly, adapt.

Hard YAKA.

I believe we can do it.

JUST DO IT!

How do we begin?

The answer lies in the question.

BEGIN.

Cheers & Ahoy!!

 

The old Captain Viking Pirate …. & his thoughts on Stopping. Reflecting. Adapting. Taking actions and adapting.

Be the light unto yourself with faith in God.
And then … be the light for the future men of our world – our sons.
Be the light that illuminates the path they are to follow.
We are the source of light in their young lives, with God’s help.

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Substitute Parents.

The old Captain Viking Pirate & his Gritty Warrior Viking Pirate son … enjoying some ‘Father-son” experience.
These moments get etched into the memory bank of great experiences.
Build these up.

What’s on my mind right now?

Kids and being a parent.

Come into my head as I think and type to you my thoughts … (my typing speed is very, very fast … and I don’t look at the keys on the keyboard and type with very high accuracy … anyway)

What does it mean to ‘love’ your kids?

We all have our own definitions of this word and area of love. Good. I think loving your kids, means, in part, that you put them ahead of other concerns in your life (at appropriate phases of life – different for a man and a woman).

You see, what I have seen and observed (being in the gym talking to thousands of parents over the years … and actually owning a gym for 7) … what I have seen is that too many parents are caught up in getting ahead in their careers or that promotion. Or better still … buying a bigger house or playing golf every weekend or buying that expensive car.

I find that they devoted so much energy to those things that they failed to free up the time necessary to really listen to their kids and just ‘be’ with them. Not to be with them when you schedule in to make ‘quality time‘ with them in your busy diary …. no, just to be with them.

It’s no wonder kids are so angry. Their parents aren’t giving them the love and attention they deserve.

I believe if kids don’t see their parents making certain sacrifices in order to work at being good parents, or if they already tried to talk to their parents and have been shut up by them, then they aren’t going to keep trying. They’ll either seek out another adult (as substitute parents) who will listen to them or they will buy into whatever youth culture is telling them to do.

Note: don’t “palm off parental responsibility “ to so-called “coaches” in sport clinics, games clinics etc. not everyone wants to and can be a top sportsman/woman. That is a fact of life. One of the mum’s at Zachary’s Athletics club said to me in our initial meeting that she joined her son in the athletics club to learn how to be confident. She did this because she was told that that was what the ‘other parents’ were doing.

I said that was a misperception.

I told her that the best place to learn confidence and integrity and honesty and care and compassion is in the home. From her, the kid’s parent. Not at some substitute parental course (that was over-and above the skill level of the young coaches employed to teach sport skills … not life skills. They were not qualified Life Coaches, most hadn’t experienced much life yet!).

Give him the scaffolding in your son’s life to help him, help himself build & live a life of significance. With a foundation of good etiquette/manners.

You don’t learn self-confidence and have a healthy self-esteem from school or taking part in sport. You learn confidence and all the intangible traits of a well-adjusted citizen in the home. In a loving home with parents making themselves available. That is where I learned my confidence from … confidence large enough to be the BEST in my sport and compete against the best in the World at two World Natural Bodybuilding Championships. I didn’t learn this off substitute parents. I learned it off family, very close family. I learned how to be a Champion from Champions in my family, and guidance from some very good teachers.

Parents continuously not ‘being there’ for their children when necessary is one of the reasons the rate of sexually transmitted diseases – and the rate of teen pregnancy – is very high (and still rising).

Kids are not being loved by their parents (because parents make selfish choices & employers/organisations that don’t support flexible working ideas) …. so these kids accept a cheap substitute. To these kids (to many kids and this has been happening for generations) … it’s better to accept a substitute than to face the hurt of NOT receiving love from their parents.

If you have kids … make the RIGHT choice. For them, for you … and your future relationship with them.

In the years running my gym I have helped many teenage kids (where parents have tried everything) get back on their Life-Track. I have seen “A” students end up with the wrong crowd and end up in jail. I have seen delinquent students and failing students turn their lives around and are now successful business people.

Learning and absorbing our habits every single day of their initial phase of their lives is what our young Princes do.
Teach them well.

I have helped hundreds of kids, help themselves find their best /better selves. I have loved them and gave them that substitute love they never got from their parents. Simply because I cared.

I love mathematics … and I sum it up this way:

Less love and time given to your children in their young years (before 10) …. EQUALS ===> more time spent getting them out of trouble in their teenage years. There is an inverse relationship.

It costs parents more in time, money and heartache and pain in future years.

Make time NOW … before it is too late.

Don’t make the mistake many (previous generations made). There is Power in Two (your partner/wife/husband) and work together to manage the all-important time and love to your growing children.

It will be one of the best and most important investment decisions you will ever make in your life (more than that promotion or that business deal or )…. just like making time to ‘work/train’ your muscles … not just for now … but for your future/old age.

All the very best in your decision

Yours always, in iron and muscles,

Cheers & Ahoy!!

 

The old Captain Viking Pirate … and loving kids … and making the Right decision

A ‘sick day’ from school day for us here, 4 years ago now.
Enjoying the entertainment at Sydney’s beautiful Luna Park.
I never let schooling interfere with my or my family’s education.

Building a good foundation for your childrens’ character is like building good lean quality muscle.
It takes time and patience. Lots of patience but laser-like focus.
Proper exercise techniques and application of relevant principles , compounded over time results in the goal you visualise.
An morally-upright, free-thinking citizen of the world putting his/her hand up to lead if necessary.
As parents, be the best teacher you can be.

Me in my cowboy hat & enjoying a beer (still training my ‘guns’ … drinking my beer)

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Save the fathers of tomorrow.

My son and I. Provide the best blueprint you can of what it means to be a man. He needs you now more than ever. Save him now so that tomorrow's world will be saved too. Vv.

My son and I.
Provide the best blueprint you can of what it means to be a man.
He needs you now more than ever.
Save him now so that tomorrow’s world will be saved too.
Vv.

Be the role model for the boys

Boys, young boys need saving.

They are saved by giving them a role model to follow.

When boys have a clear role model they intuitively know how to function when they assume the responsibility of marriage and parenting later on in life.

In my years in the gym and also owning a gym for about seven years, I have seen the effects of young boys who do not have male role models. They seem crippled and have no idea what it is to be a man.

It is our job to save our boys – the fathers of today to …. save the fathers of tomorrow!

All young boys have a hunger for that – for that role model of what it means to be a man, a Real Man. I have seen it in their eyes, their actions and their passion, their being.

I believe, one of my God-appointed tasks is to ensure that my son will be ready to lead a family, a family of his own when his time comes. To do this, I feel it is my role to equip him with the skills to do so. Why? Because, he, along with the many other young boys of today will be the fathers of tomorrow.

Admiring ‘beauty’ in design and sound …. and getting in touch with our feminine side:
Beauty and truth.
Be the role model you want your future leader to be.
A big responsibility, yes … but take it.
Like a man, a Real Man.
All the very best
I’m with you.

What they are

A good foundation of all young boys is to firstly know who they are and what they are. Two key questions. This is enhanced through increased awareness of self, which is ideally, facilitated by the dad.

Young boys then need to observe their role model in action. For my son, this is where I come in (and where all dads play their part with their son). This is when these young minds crystallize what it means to be a man.

This is when the ‘ball is in my court …. And in your court’, if you’re a father to a son or sons right now. This is where the wires of his brain is wired together to form the foundation of his future self.

I’m going to say it again …. It is our job to save our boys – the fathers of today to …. save the fathers of tomorrow! It is not the boy’s school’s job or extended family’s job. It is not society’s job and it is not the government’s role. This is not a job to be outsourced to other ‘so-called coaching disciplines’ like the countless activities coaches around today.

No, this is the job of today’s fathers. Period!

Learning and absorbing our habits every single day of their initial phase of their lives is what our young Princes do. Teach him how to be strong – internally and externally. To be strong when all around him crumbles.
Teach them well.

Real Role models – dads like you and me

This is the role for you (if you are a father), for me. This is a job for what I refer to as today’s silent heroes. Real men, real fathers who are there for their son(s) through thick and thin, that play their role without fanfare or applause.

We stand alone.

No, I am not referring to the heroic men who are idealised in the media – the men who go off to war, the men who climb the highest mountains, the men who win Olympic medals nor the men who run the largest of corporations and the richest men and most successful men in the world, nor men who travel to other planets. Some of them are good examples of men.

Indeed.

However, I am simply referring to the real role models – dads like you and me. I see us dads who take this role with both hands as no different to those more common exhaulted heroes that make for good stories and tv ratings.

 

My children striking their version of one of the seven compulsory poses in bodybuilding – the “Front-double biceps” pose.
… and strike!

I see “dads” who strive to be their son’s role models, not just by name … but actual sacrifice. Dads who try to be just like heroes but are not like those men who go off to war or represent their countries at the Olympic Games or the like. They are dads who give up their own selfish-bachelor ideals and career-hungry goals to be there for their son(s). They are dads and fathers who accept their own mortality and imperfection and embrace the vulnerable man within.

I see dads and fathers who take their role’s full responsibility as today’s silent heroes.

I am talking about the real fathers of today. Fathers who are simply there for their sons. Always. Fathers who provide the support and the impetus and template for the young boys today to be the men, the fathers’ of tomorrow.

The critical question is how are we going to do this, how are we supposed to give them sufficient, appropriate and relevant training to be the man they need to be? The man we hope them to be.

With the next generation of Valentine males - Zachary.

With the next generation of Valentine males – Zachary.

Unique ways

I have 5.5 goals for saving by boy. It is my job as his father to model for him the importance of:

  • Knowing and obeying Jesus Christ
  • Knowing and simplifying Godly character
  • Knowing and loving my wife
  • Knowing and loving my children, and
  • Knowing my gifts and strengths and the weaknesses and contribute to the lives of others and have fun doing all of this as well.

I have listed 5.5 as the list is not exhaustive and you could add to the list other goals of what you think means to be a man and a role model. That is totally fine. We all have unique ways. Every man is unique, yes, but I also believe, every man has more in common with one another than we care to admit and accept.

The important thing is for us to focus our attention on being the best we can be, for ourselves, first, so that our son(s) can get the best of us. This to me will increase the chances that more fathers of tomorrow will be saved.

For their sake, for their future families’ sake, for society’s sake and for the world’s sake, today’s boys need the best role models they can copy from.

Appropriate outfit given the Rugby World Cup and
Go the Wallabies (and Go Fiji)!

 

Fathers stand tall and deliver!

Be the best man you can be. Be the best father you can be. For you, and for your future father(s).

The fathers of tomorrow need saving. I believe this so. They need saving before it is too late.

The fathers of tomorrow will only be saved if today’s fathers stand up, stand tall and deliver and lead by example – the example that will provide the best blueprint of what a male role model needs to be…. For their sons(s). Sons that will be leaders of tomorrow.

As you know, the focus for you and me is to strive towards being more of –

A Real Man. A Real Dad. A Real Father.

We are many, we are authentic. We are today’s silent heroes. Continue doing the good work and save the fathers of tomorrow.

Be the hero that you know you are!

Cheers & ahoy Real Men reading this …

Until next time,

 

The old Cap’n Viking Pirate Fiji-Born Muscle Monk …& thoughts and words on saving the Fathers of tomorrow

Be the best role model you can be for you son - a father of tomorrow. Vv.

Be the best role model you can be for your son – a father of tomorrow.
Vv.

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I am.

My young gritty Viking Pirate Prince already getting in touch with his “feminine side’ and enjoying beauty – in cars, watches, buildings … and others
He has the best coach in the world at his disposal.

A Restful mind in Sleep is a peace of Mind.

Sleep consumes one third of our lives. Yet, most people know little about this daily excursion into our inner world. The exact functions of sleep and dreaming have been debated over the ages but are still not really known.

Sometimes we all find it difficult to fall asleep when we want to, laying there staring at the ceiling, tossing and turning.

Feeling restless.

You may have too much on your mind or not much at all. You may be over-tired or you may not be. You may simply feel restless even though you seek restfulness. For whatever reason, we all find it difficult to fall asleep when we want to. Sometimes.

Some of us, more than others.

 

I AM.

  1. I. AM.
    GOD?

I play many games with my children. They keep evolving. I like to think I do, too.

One particular game I play with my kids is one I call “I AM”.

You see my son has had problems for a while now falling asleep in his bed. As a result my wife and I take multiple trips to and from his room to try and settle him to sleep at night. Most of the time we just let him sleep in our bed. Most of the time he gets away with it. Until not too long ago, I introduced the game to him.

“What’s the name of the game, daddy?” asked my son Zachary.

I said it was called “I am”.

“How do you play it?” asks Zach.

I told him that the objective of the game was for him to say “I am” to every question I asked him. Only that phrase but with a few conditions for him to adhere to:

  • Lay still
  • Look me in the eyes
  • Whisper the answer “I am”

It’s been successfully implemented on almost every night I put my son to sleep. He doses off to sleep as he repeats the answer of “I am” to every question I ask him, most of the time with a little smile on his face.

Every time.

I thought up this game for two main reasons:

  1. To get him to fall asleep with improved regularity and with minimum resistance
  2. To condition his neuro-wiring as a foundation for his strength of mind

My gritty Warrior Viking Pirate 🏴‍☠️ prince 🤴

I know reason number 1 has been achieved so far.

As modern neuroscience confirms sleep (including napping) is critical for the health of your brain and you as a human being. Brain health, neurotransmitter release and sleep are intimately entwined. Studies suggesting that psychiatric disorder and neurodegenerative disease are often connected to some form of sleep/circadian rythym disruption.

So, work on improving your sleep patterns and focus on quality of sleep rather than quantity for your overall health.

Responsible for transmission of critical electrical, chemical & hormonal messages -internal communication

Who’s daddy’s … ?

I will know if reason number 2 is achieved in about 10 years and probably for the rest of his life. Time will tell the fruitfulness of this game that will ultimately be for his benefit.

The questions I ask him are repeated and are quite similar to these:

  1. Who’s daddy’s smartest boy? …. And he would say … “I am”.
  2. Who’s daddy’s kindest boy?
  3. Who’s daddy’s strongest boy?
  4. Who’s daddy’s fastest boy?
  5. Who’s daddy’s caring boy?
  6. Who’s daddy’s happiest boy?
  7. Who’s daddy’s loving boy?
  8. etc

Zachary would fall asleep answering “I am” to every question some of which I repeat. My daughter Olivia, who is two years older does not have problems falling asleep but I also play the game with her.

She loves it. Calms her down even further.

A “sense” of who they are is learned from the first man of significant influence in their lives –
us. Dads.

The power sitting dormant in your subconscious mind.

Just like the many other universal principles in life like for example, water seeks its own level or that matter expands when heated. It is a universal truth that whatever you impress on your subconscious mind is expressed in the physical realm.

It is akin to saying a prayer and your prayer is answered because your subconscious mind is principle. Like all principles, the facts are universal and unchangeable. It is just the way things operate.

Not sometimes. All of the time.

True?
Neuroscience is still at the level of where medicine was in the 1700s
A long way to fully understand who we are….
Who “I AM.”

 

The Power of Belief.

The subconscious mind works according to the law of belief. The Bible and probably most other religious texts is littered with examples of the power of belief.

I see my children’s minds as a bed of rich soil that will grow whatever types of seeds I plant and intend to grow. I believe in the power of prayer and the law of belief and why this game of “I am” aims to sow thoughts of happiness, goodwill, right action and success in my children’s minds.

Believe or not believe.
Get your ass off the pole of the fence (stop sitting on the fence!)
Choose.

Hopefully, the magic of the ‘compound effect’, like compound interest on a loan or investment … with time, these wonderful seeds of thought in the garden of their minds, will reap a generous harvest for them.

I have always believed that “the world within creates the world without”. This is a truth and there is a definite link between the subconscious and your conscious minds. As I have discovered in my life, and part of my line of work in helping others achieve their best and their goals – the subconscious mind is very sensitive to your conscious mind.

I learned something from my grandfather when I was very young – that nothing can stop you or anyone … but all is as thinking that makes it so.

Watch your thoughts, I say.

Learning and absorbing our habits every single day of their initial phase of their lives is what our young Princes do.
Teach them well.

Learn and apply the most important & powerful LINK.

Having a deeper understanding of this link gives you the power to help accomplish your goals. It is effectively praying and communicating to God.

Believe or not believe.

Prayers always get answered but you have to be a believer. This unwavering belief happens to be the law of the mind.

You have to believe in belief itself!

I will assist in being the captain of their ship in their early years of life, helping them navigate their conscious mind with the understanding that their young subconscious minds will take and accept as true what they confirm in their ‘I am” answers before falling asleep.

A ‘sick day’ from school day for us here, 4 years ago now.
Enjoying the entertainment at Sydney’s beautiful Luna Park.
I never let schooling interfere with my or my family’s education.

Simple is uncomplicating Beauty.

I am”: a very simple, yet powerful affirmation of nobody else but – ‘you’. An affirmation of the communication from your conscious mind to your subconscious mind. It is simple, yet complex … and Un-complicating of Real Beauty.

A prayer. Repeated.

Beauty comes in the human form.
It is a living masterpiece.
On display, from a masterful poser/artist, the human body exemplifies beauty and truth rolled in to vibrating ball of flow of muscle.
The hard part is to CREATE beauty. We all have the ability within us.
To create a beauty through the human form is genius.
Providing the scaffolding for your childs(ren) character building towards a ‘beautiful character’ is like sculpturing a great physique.
Everything matters, however, small it is.
GIGO for their minds:
If you want to create champions and leaders , feed them daily champion & leadership thoughts.

Try it, see how you feel after a month.

Try this game with your kids and see if it helps with their sleeping. Try it for a month. The main benefit however, is in the strengthening of the mind. Just like building good quality muscles you have got to be persistent and consistent with daily application of the relevant principles.

You could even try it with older kids (adults) too. Maybe even you. Just change the affirmation questions and find a quiet time and place (preferably just before falling asleep) and create a better you.

Create a better life from within starting with “I am”.

The old Cap’n Viking Pirate.
Me, a Simple-complex Man.

Remember: you reap (your destiny) what your sow (your seeds of thought).

 

Until next time,

Cheers & Ahoy!!

 

The Old Cap’n Viking Pirate … & thoughts and words on belief, subconscious mind and I am.

The Brain 🧠.
The mind.
I AM.

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