Energy

Why the idea of spending “quality time” is a misguided maxim.

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That’s correct – you either make time or you don’t. There is no ‘in-between’. You have 86,400 seconds a day. That is a constant based on our limited understanding of time.

Time does not stop for any man or woman. Every second ticks away.

I argue that there is no such thing as spending ‘quality time’ with someone or something because at the core, the idea of substituting quality time for quantity time DOES NOT work in Real Life.

I have heard it many times over my 40 years on this planet – the line “oh, I like to spend some quality time with my wife or husband or partner or child”. What sort of cop-out statement is that?! I mean, you either ‘make time’ or you don’t. Period!

It is a misguided statement.

A day out with Zachary at Luna Park, Sydney - "Daddy-son" time. What a day it was for both of us! Quantity leads to quality when it comes to any relationship.

A day out with Zachary at Luna Park, Sydney – “Daddy-son” time. What a day it was for both of us!
Quantity leads to quality when it comes to any relationship.

The less quantity time you make to devote to your mate/wife/husband/children/grand-children and so forth, the tougher it is to CREATE quality time together. You see the awkwardness in social gatherings like Christmas and Weddings and Funerals.

If only people could all sit down and proclaim after not seeing each other for so long “Now we are all going to have a quality experience together.”

Wishful thinking.

You can manipulate many things in life, but Real Life cannot be manipulated that way when it comes to time – investment quantity of your time/life in the people you care about most dearly in your life. This is where ‘actions/time/effort speaks louder than words/excuses.’

You cannot make up lost time. It is lost. You just have to make the best decisions with the time you have left. It is a choice after all.

We see it regularly and get daily reminders on the news, talk shows, talent shows, history books and even religious books like the bible – we see great moments of human achievement. We read about these achievements but we are not made aware of the details, the details of the years of preparation and hard work and focus that lead up to it.

No, it does not make for good reading or the selling of news. People want to read about the ‘over-night’ successes. Think back over your life experiences and your achievements. You may talk about the achievement of a certain qualification or reaching a pivotal height in your field of speciality but talk about how hard you worked and the hurdles you had to overcome to get there is not normally spoken about.

So much is written about and passed down through history and stories of these major achievements (you read about it with the great Presidents, Business Leaders, Biblical characters and important events, Army Generals and Thinkers of history). This is wonderful but I think it is a bit skewed.

At the pool with my munchkins - Zachary and Olivia. Learning the basics of swimming with me. Your children are the most important investments you will ever make in your life (for those with kids).  Quantity of time spent leads to quality of relationship, in any relationship.

At the pool with my munchkins – Zachary and Olivia. Learning the basics of swimming with me.
Your children are the most important investments you will ever make in your life (for those with kids).
Quantity of time spent leads to quality of relationship, in any relationship.

More should be written about and spoken about the ‘day-to-day happenings’. Of normal daily life. More should be documented of the ‘before’ and ‘after’ of day-to-day experiences just like we see in weight-loss advertisements. The many hurdles that every parent reading this faces and overcomes on a daily basis with the raising of their children.

Too many make a big thing about future holiday travels and special events/plans and only recognise these ‘moments in time’ just like the history teller. You see, the way I see it, if you’re not careful, you can try to live your life from one ‘great experience’ to another. Lovely but an almost impossible dream to seek. Just like success, the very pursuit of it is futile.

It just cannot be done and is a waste of your time – your appreciation of the gift of the ‘present time’.

In Real Life, I believe it is the mundane, day-to-day moments and experiences that make up your 86,400 seconds a day that matters most. It is these experiences that make the highlights in your year stand out. It is the quantity time spent with loved ones that can only make possible the concept of ‘quality time’. It is these experiences that children remember the most.

With my friend and coach at that time - 2 x World Number 1 (natural bodybuilder). Quality relationships is key to the use of your 86,400 seconds a day.

With my friend and coach at that time – 2 x World Number 1 (natural bodybuilder).
Quality relationships is key to the use of your 86,400 seconds a day.

Many years ago, I learned that I needed to use my personal time mostly at home, where I am close to my wife and family. If I am going to stay true to my priorities which are aligned with my philosophy on life, the use of my “personal time” has to be purposeful and focused as the use of my business time.

Stay true to your philosophy of life and ensure that you establish and maintain your priorities with regards to the use of your 86.400 seconds per day. Ensure that you devote and invest those seconds to the people you value most in your life.

This will help you find the amount of time to strengthen all your most valuable relationships in your life. Investing more actual time in the day-to-day activities with loved ones may just save your relationship.

As someone once said strive to “make the ordinary, extraordinary”.

After all, there are only two true power variables in life:

You need to become a better manager of your SELF with regards to these.

Quality time is only possible if you have spent quantity time.

Manage your funnel better and make better decisions as to where you spend your quantity of time, hopefully with those whom you value the most – like your wife, husband, partner or children.

Quality evolves from quantity. The inverse relationship is close to impossible.

Until next time,

Paul

Guess where we are? The Sydney Harbour bridge in the background - at one of our nearby favourite playgrounds.

Guess where we are?
The Sydney Harbour bridge in the background – at one of our nearby favourite playgrounds.

~~Life COACH~~

~~Life COACH~~

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