Fairness begins with Self. Side chest pose in my gym of seven years.
Do you believe in love?
Do you believe in lasting love?
You’d have to agree with me when I say that we don’t get lasting love by chance. Before I go any further, I want to let you know that I don’t believe in chance or coincidences.
Everything – good or bad, is meant to be, when you make decisions for the best and ultimately to not bring harm to anyone else in the long run. You may hurt someone in the short-term but foresight is a gift, and you may see the benefit for the person in the long-term.
Sometimes, as my grandfather used to remind me – you have to be ‘cruel to be ’kind’ or in his other words of wisdom, give ‘tough love’. People suffer a little bit in the short-term for lasting long-term benefit.
So, lasting love does not come by easily, it takes work – simple, pure hard work. In Australian lingo we say – “Hard YAKA!’, if you believe it is worth it.
Hard work strongly involves working at fairness.
How do I know?
Well, I believe in genuine, authentic relationships. I mean I have many, many acquaintances but only a few very good friends. People I can call friends for twenty, thirty or even forty years. And there are a few new ones too.
Friendship, real, genuine, long-term friendship of any kind takes time and work, hard work.
And really good friends, friends that ‘hear what you say but also hear what you don’t say’, now these are hard to come by. But, they do.
I spent a lot of time with one of my many male mentors for the first 18 years of my life – my grandfather: Mr Garrett Bola William Valentine.
I used to sit there, when he was alive and listen to him (who was like a dad to me) and his one very good friend tell stories and reminiscing of their youthful days. I loved listening to those stories. I thought of my grandfather when writing this because it seems his loving friendship and bond he had with his friend to his last days were based on an enduring friendship.
A friendship that lasted over fifty years.
A relationship, a love-affair between two men, two humans, that, I can only assume, took a lot of work and Hard Yaka. It did not just happen by chance. Certainly not.
Side triceps in my gym of seven years.
A loving, lasting relationship of any kind, needs fairness.
In a romantic one, however, unlike my grandfather’s Bromance, the ‘romance’ can keep love alive for a shining season but unfair love will freeze by late autumn as the relationship goes through the seasons of life, so-to-speak.
Do you argue fairly?
One needs to remember to stick to the facts and don’t make personal attacks on your partner, especially ones that are generalised over a number of years? I believe fairness is at stake in every conversation, in every sharing of duties, in every argument.
In this day and age where there is an ‘opinion epidemic’ whereby people think offering their opinions willy-nilly, left, right and centre is acceptable. These opinions are heavily biased and are not thought out from ‘both sides of the argument. So, arguments are not done in a fair fashion.
We need fairness in our trust. Trust of one another.
In romantic love, we need fairness in our talk. Our communication. Experts say that our nonverbal communication accounts for almost 60 percent of the total message. Tone of voice, for example – the way we say things – makes up 35 percent of the message. The actual words we say account for only seven percent of the total message.
I know I can get very passionate and animated when I speak and so there is always fluctuations in my tone of voice and sometimes this can come across as aggressive. I do struggle with hiding my emotions sometimes and am still trying to manage and control them even now.
If I am angry, you will know it, just as sure as you will know when I am happy. My eyes and face are the windows to my heart, my soul.
So, as food-for-thought, think about the ways you and your spouse/partner communicate without using words. These are all important factors of communication but the most important question is how effective is your communication with your loved one/partner?
In my experience, it isn’t fair to use words that violate a person’s feelings or betray a person’s confidence. Refrain from saying things to personally attack the other. Stick to the facts and in saying that, the immediate or facts of a recent example.
We need fairness when we divide the chores in family life.
We need fairness when we decide who goes out to work for a living and who stays home to mind the children, in the different phases of family life. What phase of life are you or you and your partner/husband/wife in?
“So, when is love fair?” I hear you say.
Well, from my experience, I believe that –
Love is fair when it builds up both the lover and the beloved;
Love is fair when it increases both and diminishes neither;
Love is fair when it brings lovers close but still lets them separate when appropriate;
Love is fair when it nourishes both and leaves neither hungry for more;
Love is fair when it respects the boundaries of the other person’s selfhood;
Love is fair when it delays our most legitimate desires to meet our loved one’s needs;
Love is fair when it does not use ancient and forgiven wrongs against us;
Love is fair when we don’t selfishly accept current, immediate self-gratification at the price or expense of the other’s pain.
What do you think, is the above statements fair statements on what fair love is?
What do you think is a “fair” balance of closeness and separateness in your marriage?
What do you think is ‘fair’ behaviour when you are disagreeing?
Oh love … oh fairness fairy.
We seek your guidance.
Amen.
Until next time,
The Old Captain Viking Pirate Muscle Monk.
Members of my ‘extended family’ when I used to own and manage my gym for seven years. Some of the best and hardest years of my life so far. I loved leading the members (predominantly males – 70%) and they allowed me to take them to unchartered territories for us all. The gym was (unlike today’s) a social place. An ‘inbetween home’ between your place of work and your home. Relationships based on fairness, trust, care and compassion.
This elderly man, Jim, told me, having bad posture takes away from his Quality of Life
You see it everywhere you go. We all hear about it and we know someone who has it, but have you ever asked the question if you’ve got it too?
Bad posture, that is.
I think it is and has been a growing problem of modern societies today and I would claim, it is now at epidemic proportions. I believe it is a more costly problem to society than the well-known obesity epidemic that is gripping us.
it is killing people slowly and most don’t even know this.
But no one is talking about it, and yet, it is all around us! Everyone needs to practise perfect posture.
One of my key goals for twenty five years and one of the many reasons I love weight training is it allows me to continuously sculpt and design my ever evolving, dynamic physique towards better balance and symmetry. It never ends. Your body is never static, it is always changing.
I constantly apply my ‘adaptive strategy’ approach for this dynamic and complex environment/system that is the human body/mind/ heart and soul.
That is part of what I do and have done with the hundreds and thousands of students I have taught over the years. Design an improved version of themselves – they become a walking, talking, sitting, sleeping, living piece of art in motion with better balance and symmetry.
I help move people away from hate towards love. That is the essence of design, in my case, designing a new body – a new YOU. Incidentally, striving for improved balance and symmetry in my tailored programs, adopting my framework, indirectly and directly converts bad posture to good posture.
One of the many hidden benefits of my custom design bodies programs.
Good posture is needed for balance, symmetry and a healthy body. Take a look around – everyone that you see at the bus stop, on the train, on the street and even at home. If you’re brave enough, take a look at yourself. What is your posture telling you? Is it ideal? Can it be improved?
What you will see, is what I have stated in my first three sentences here – real impressive figures are few and far between. I look around and symptoms of the aged (like bad posture) is inflicting the young school children.
It is depressing to say the least. How did society get to this stage?
Not sure why children are being affected with this at such a young age, maybe because stooping low would gain more acceptance with friends. Standing straight, with good posture may offend someone, it may give an air of cockiness or a holier than thou perception.
Maybe. I don’t know, I was not one to succumb to peer pressure in teen years.
Sure, parents and carers notice this early on-set age-related ailments adopted by their teenage children. They must ask them to stand up straight but it seems that this habit is ‘set’ in by the time they arrive in their 20s. The poor posture is established and almost irreversible.
Sad, truly sad.
Doing and being is essential to muscle building success for your health and muscle goals. Connect the two. Make them one. Vv.
The years of continuing bad posture has resulted in the less-than-ideal situation the aged population is suffering from now. A lot of people are living longer but spending the last twenty to thirty years after sixty five with delibitating posture and increasing immobility. Increase immobility leads to reduced sense of self-worth and increasing levels of mental diseases and worse.
We’re all getting older by the second, yes but could I suggest that we slow down the ageing process by firstly becoming aware of our posture every day. Everyone shouldn’t be too concerned with ‘living longer’! I think it is a sales gimmich, everyone should be aiming to:
“grow younger, not older!”
“Growing old” is a decision, afterall. A MIND-SET.
Is this possible? You bet ya!
First stage of any form of self-improvement is to increase your awareness. Then, consciously (in this case), you need to take ACTION – try to improve your way of standing, of walking and sitting.
I believe that correct posture helps manage stress and keeps us healthier. Poor posture on the other hand can have an adverse of effect on the internal organs, causing numerous aches and pains. The compound effect of this as we age results in the reduction of mobility which is an affliction of the aged population now.
I believe in striving towards ‘balance and symmetry’ of the body, through sufficient and appropriate weight-training, coupled with a sensible diet, stretching and cardiovascular exercise. The body works as one and you’re made up of a chain of muscles that are constantly contracting and extending. When one part of your body is out of alignment, the other areas are also off-set. The domino effect then takes hold.
A big mistake people make is thinking that the body will correct itself. No, it won’t! The body will grow to the shape and posture they consistently adopt and practise every single day.
Think about it – the more you slump, the more you lose flexibility so you not only move older, you FEEL OLDER and you APPEAR OLDER!
Now, why would you want that for yourself?! Aren’t we all aiming to ‘off-set the on-set’ of ageing as best we can?
I’ve said it before that a prerequisite for the elusive balance and symmetry (and health ) of the body (and mind, dare I say) is good posture. I will go as far as saying that a person who consciously carries him or herself with a proud upright posture is more likely to come across as a fit, energetic, and even a more attractive and hence more desirable individual.
Yes, you read that right!
Having a good posture makes you MORE ATTRACTIVE!
If this is the case, why aren’t more people doing it? Because it takes effort – it takes work and deliberate practise because to achieve good posture, you need to make a habit of checking your posture and correcting it if necessary.
It can be hard work.
Fine-tuning the ‘mind-muscle’ connection through intense posing. Hold!
A few things to consider to help you work towards your ideal good posture:
Is your butt sticking out too much that it causes a sway in your appearance?
Is your shoulders slumping forward causing your scapulae to stand out like wings in your back?
Do you balance evenly on you feet?
Do you round your back when eating at your dinner table?
Do you tilt your head to one side when using a computer or while writing?
Do you allow your head to stick out in front of your body?
I truly believe that posture can reveal as much about a person as his/her face does. Poor posture can make you a billboard of insecurity and old age. Why add to the effects of gravity? Everything will sag in time – don’t accelerate the process, gravity does not need help!
I also believe that it is every human being’s ultimate responsibility to take care of themselves and do everything they can to slow the ageing process and the effects of gravity. This amazing, unrelenting force is tugging at you and me this very moment!
One way that is within your control and that you can fight this force is to have good posture.
If you want to instantly improve your attractiveness, you don’t need to run to plastic surgery or put on tonnes of make-up, work on your posture. Attraction is the greatest factor in love. It’s hard to relate easily to a man or woman you find unattractive. We all enjoy relating to attractive people.
I’ll say it again – posture is one key ingredient to this attractiveness.
So, you see, posture is the one thing we can all improve almost instantly. In time, you can then work on other significant changes.
Here are my top 3 tips for you to adopt to work towards good posture:
Quit overeating, over-drinking and smoking
Start exercising regularly – three to four times per week
Consciously check and correct your posture throughout the day
Then ….
When you walk, practise perfect posture and … walk as if you were seven feet tall!
I know I do (even though I am ‘slightly under six feet tall’).
Best of vitality to you!
Until next time,
My beautiful daughter and I enjoying “Daddy-daughter time” on the Ferris Wheel at Luna Park in amazing Sydney, Australia.
In my line of work, part of what I do is help people, help themselves with change as they transition through various phases of life. I help people, help themselves re-engineer themselves in to the person the imagine themselves to be.
I help men and women of all ages and sizes help themselves, find their best selves and work towards increased balanced and symmetry – externally and internally.
Someone asked me the question posed in the blog heading recently, and it got me thinking. Put simply, people don’t stop, start from a clean slate and prepare for the beginning and the end. Upon reflection of my experience over the last quarter of a century, I have attempted to answer it below –
Me and a past member of my Family Gym and former pupil of my Valentine Infusion Programs
Being the sculptor and the sculpture is not easy but that is what you need to do … to create the NEW YOU.
Letting GO OF THINGS YOU HOLD DEAR is very difficult.
But letting go of things you hold dear is very difficult and the little things, the moquitoes – like letting go of a habit that is not life affirming can be very difficult. Neuroscience research tells us now that letting go a habit can take anywhere between 31 and 267 days. Wow! So, be patient and be kind to yourself if you’re thinking about making a change in the way you look.
But also, surprisingly (or not), sometimes … the best way to be happy or happier is to learn to let go of things you tried hard to hold on to that are no longer good for you. And this relates to people and activities that may have served you in different phases of life but no longer add value to you life, now.
It may sound a little harsh, and truth be told, I think it is. But, it is an essential part of become your wiser self. You need to destroy to create. You need to demolish long-held beliefs to become the new YOU.
The fact that you are ‘thinking’ about change is a win in itself.
Wherever the Mind goes, the body WILL follow. The key: get your mind “there “ first
They are not the same
You see, in my experience in helping people find their ‘new selves‘, I find that before a change, any worthwhile, life-changing change can happen, you must want to have a change in mind-set.
Now, to do this, even before you think about exercise, dieting or your fitness, you should firstly accept YOU as you are now, not the you – yesterday. The present self “is”, and your former self ‘was’, and in truth, your ‘was’ self is not identical to your ‘is’ now.
They are not the same.
People change, you change. Life is about change, if you’re not changing, you’re not living!
So, let go of the ‘was’ self (past) by letting go of any and all regret and guilt resulting from the past ‘was’ self. The past cannot be rewritten, but you can view it through different lenses and re-framing your view of your ‘was’ self. Tell yourself that past errors are mainly due to limitations in perception and ignorance and that they belong to that ‘was’ self at a certain point in the time continuum. It was all part of the learning process and gaining wisdom and was unavoidable.
This applies not only individually but collectively as a human race.
Most importantly, tell yourself – your ‘is’ self (now) that the habits that were acceptable in the past is no longer acceptable today and now. All regrets and guilt of less-than-ideal and less-than life-affirming habits that helped create the ‘was’ self is now boxed up and viewed simply as an error of judgement, ignorance, mis-perception or miscalculation. Put simply – an error.
The first stage is self-forgiveness. This is facilitated by humility but also acceptance of this limitation (by letting go of the ego).
With the wrong philosophy I would not have got to be one of the BEST at two consecutive world championships. You need go take your mind d there before the body & heart 💓 follows
Solution: Begin with the right philosophy, filter and remove beliefs that are no longer relevant, acknowledge your soul and then reach out and …
Embrace the ‘is’ YOU with your whole being. Show you care. Feel your love. Allow the healing to happen – to you and those you value around you. Changes then become long-lasting and sustainable as you chart your new course through the sea of life.
All the best in your choices,
Until next time,
Continuously helping you become the best you can be … BEGIN help by helping yourself. Then, Reach out and touch someone … be the light for someone who can only see darkness. Help them see ‘beauty’ .. see their truth. Help them manage their insanity with sanity … their chaos with order. Pray.
Everything starts with a thought … a boy born and raised in the Islands of Fiji (me) … thought/dreamed/imagined being on the World Stage in natural bodybuilding 10 years before it became reality. Belief in God and belief in myself helped me twice rank in the Top 5 in the world in my chosen sport…. and had a lot of fun getting there. No belief, nothing! With your thoughts and energy channelled in the direction of your goal, don’t underestimate what you can achieve in ten years. Vv.
The way you think will make your life a living hell or a living heaven.
Everything begins with a thought and where you end up in life, begins and ends in your thought. Everything starts with a thought. Do you believe this?
Every thought you think and every word you speak is vibrating throughout every cell of your body and into the world around. Your thoughts are what is moulding your universe into your experiences.
The way you think will either make your life a living hell or a living heaven. Do you believe in this?
I do.
We are told that mankind is living longer than ever before in our modern history. The question I like to ask is how much of this ‘extended life expectancy’ gives more joy, better quality of life? Or is it fuelled by the ever-increasing reliance on the many drug stores opening up around the place selling and hooking people on to the scores of products that are supposed to help people.
These drugs and drug stores are supposed to help people eliminate ailments such as stomach aches, relieve heart burn, stop diarrhoea, cure headaches, lose weight, overcome skin problems, bad breath, hypertension and fatigue. You name it – there is a drug that will ‘fix’ the problem.
Is this what the human race has evolved to?
Is this how far we have come as a race, even after all the scientific and medical progress that has been made in the last fifty years? I wonder, sometimes, how we came to be the way we are now? When I take a long hard look around, I am not impressed. I heard on the news or radio recently, that for the first time in mankind’s history, the current younger generations are more likely to die before their parents do. This is very sad if you asked me.
Me and a past member of my Family Gym and former pupil of my Valentine Infusion Programs Joel here was struggling to go past a certain limit on his deadlifts. He I learned some bad habits. He picked up that was stalling his progress & re- learned proper exercise technique. He not only exceeded his self-imposed limits but also lifted the heaviest weight by any man in my Familu Gym. His maximum lifting weight before that was 140kg. He deadlifted 224kg for 6 reps at a body weight of 110kg. He is not a power lifter (so does not do 1 or 2 rep maximum) Can anyone beat that?
Good health and good good intellect are the two greatest blessings in life.
Statistically, children – yours maybe, will not live to the age of their parents (you) will likely live, simply because of their inactive lifestyles and poor eating habits.
Here’s what I have learned after close to twenty five years of training and living a lifestyle of a natural bodybuilder: Good health and good intellect are the two greatest blessing in life. If you are born with health, as most of us have, you have one of the most important life-enhancing traits within you – HOPE! If you have hope, you have everything and you can quote me on this.
When people lose hope, they lose the will to live.
Without health, where is the joy in life, I ask you? I have found that maybe due to the pressures of ‘the way things have always been done in the past’, everyone is forced in to doing things that they have been brainwashed to thinking they should do. People work very hard in whatever profession they find themselves in and try to know everything there is to know about the subject. They become ‘experts’ in their area of expertise. All for the purpose of making money, commonly making the mistake of thinking money is everything – the be-all and end-all!
Many strive to be experts at everything else external, and yet are not experts at the most important thing: themselves.
This is where I beg to differ on all levels – from the philosophical all the way to the practical. Money and the hunger for more and more of it at the expense of everything else is very unhealthy and leads to unwanted disaster, sooner or later. Unfortunately, many do just this to satisfy the insatiable desire to acquire valuables they have been brainwashed into thinking by marketers, they should get because it adds to them as a status symbol.
Father-son same attire day. Children learn the BASICS of character from their parents… and parents should be open to learning from them, too.
There is no wealth like health.
Remember this: there is no wealth like health. Your health and fitness are way more important. Wealth cannot buy health. Wealth without health is a mockery. The healthy labourer in my opinion is better than a sick millionaire.
But you can, you have a choice to do something about it. Not tomorrow, today – now!
Why? Because your life is the most valuable thing given to you. When you make the decision to prioritise YOU and your life, you have a change of thought. Everything begins with a thought. When you make that decision to help YOU and don’t take life for granted, you choose your health. And when you have health, you have that most elusive thing of life, that intangible thing that some people have, that thing that is the essence of life: vitality.
I think it was Samuel Johnson, the English literary genius that said –
“To preserve health, is a moral and religious duty, for health is the basis of all social virtues. We can longer be useful when not well.”
Great words. So true. Have you questioned how moral you have been to YOU?
I don’t care how old you are, it does not matter. Whether you are man or woman, tall or short, fat or thin, young or not so young, my advice from my heart, is I hope you generate the DESIRE TO CHANGE YOUR MIND – TODAY! Change your mind to help that person you see in the mirror, help him or her move towards the healthier, fitter person you imagine yourself to be.
Implant that desire with a thought, a thought to help the most important person in the world to you: YOU!
Here, Ex-Australian Rugby Wallaby & living legend Phil Waugh using a ‘thumbless grip’ in a Smith Machine to do Bench Presses. His desire to be his BEST and get educated from the best allows him to embrace my better lifestyle framework and “build his bridge to where he wanted to be”. And he got there with my “custom-made” plan. Become aware; Apply action: Adapt accordingly.
People are creatures of habit.
Look around us, it is estimated that all the knowledge accumulated in the 20,000 years to 2003 is doubled every two days since then. Information, technology and knowledge has increased exponentially and the combination of exercise/weight training and good nutrition is better understood than ever before.
But why is the world suffering from an obesity epidemic? Well, I feel that, sadly, millions and millions of people are still not following a sensible path to ensure lifelong health and fitness.
People are creatures of habit and unfortunately it is more difficult to lose a ‘less-than-ideal (bad)’ habit then it is to adopt a good one. So much energy and effort is put in to hanging on to and justifying the need to retain a bad habit(s). If all that energy was transmuted in to focusing on and taking up good habit(s), we would have less preventable problems in the world.
Unfortunately, human beings are more reactive then proactive.
Focus: FEEL & CONTROL… with balance & elegance.
What you eat today will be walking snd talking on you tomorrow!
Why are millions not making the right choices given the knowledge and information available to them? A strong contributor is the increasing need for newer and modern technology and its use. These newer platforms of social media – facebook, twitter, text messaging, video games, increasing use of apps, all have one thing in common: they all encourage physical inactivity.
When I was growing up, I remember spending most of my waking hours after school with friends in the neighbourhood. We were always expanding physical energy with different games out on the streets.
Here’s another truth: what you eat today will be walking and talking on you tomorrow!
We’re all getting older by the second, yes, but some depreciate faster than others, mainly because of lifestyle choices. Today you may be relatively young but youth is always fading.
There are no guarantees in life, but if we choose well (health and fitness), we can live our days with healthy activities to get us near to perfect health, fitness and physique as possible.
If you have read this far, then it tells me that you are serious about making a change in your lifestyle. What I have always cared about with everyone that I have ever helped over the last two decades is their current physical condition and state of mind. This is exactly what I am concerned about with you, today.
To begin your change, your journey, you need to desire to change your mindas everything begins with a thought. But effort alone is not enough, you also need to dream, you need to liven up your imagination and set yourself some goals.
What is a goal anyway? It is a dream with a deadline.
Sometimes you need to stop 🛑… look at yourself in the mirror snd … take stock.
It is your thoughts and feelings that are creating the life that you are living.
You need to sit back and take a few minutes out of your busy day and ask yourself if you’re worth it? Do you believe that your life is valuable enough so that the rest of your life (from this point on) could indeed be the best years. Can you picture, imagine your remaining days? Maybe you’re so busy in your daily life, you haven’t given it much thought.
Remember, all of the data suggests that there is no such thing as luck or coincidence in a universe that we now know is based on energy, vibration and attraction. The universe is always lining up to the vibrational state that you’re offering. We all have our default frequencies but through effort, it is possible to move between frequencies – from a life-destroying one to a life-affirming wavelength.
It is your thoughts and feelings that are painting and creating the life that you’re living and drawing to you the situations and circumstances that you find yourself in. If you want to live a different life, you’ve got to start painting a different picture. You’ve got to start being a more skilful architect and use better design principles.
One thing I have always been fascinated about is life but in particular – people. I am a watcher of people, always have been and always will observe others with burning curiosity.
When Alan came to me, he was in a bad place – not having enough sleep despite seeing many “experts”, was on the verge of losing his job and his marriage. With immense courage he undertook the plan I developed for him using my Lifestyle framework principles . He not only started sleeping again (from 700+ apnoea per night to under 4) … he lost > 25+ kg and got his life back.
Where do I begin?
Now, you may be asking yourself, okay Paul, where do I begin?
Well, you need to take stock of the most important thing you will rely on: your state of mind, in particular – your motivation. Being motivated is a wonderful gift and a lack of motivation is a hard nut to crack, so to speak!
Here’s what I tell most, if not all that have ever come to me for help: Find a quiet moment in a private room in your home that has a full length mirror. Lock the door and take all your clothes off. That’s right, everything. Now, just look at the image of you reflecting out of that full length mirror. Just stand there and don’t do anything but look. Absorb your full glory for 30 seconds. Don’t flex your arms or smile. Don’t even think about sucking in that gut. Relax that tummy and now….turn to the side. No sucking in, let it all hang out! Now, what do you see?
Need more motivation? Angry? Now, you have all the motivation you need. How could you let this happen to your body? You were born with the greatest gift of all: physical health.
Now, ask yourself this question: do you value YOU, do you value your life? Are you going to continue as you have to this point? Clogging your arteries, adding layers of fat to every part of your body, risking ill-health, aches and pains and an early grave – increasing your overall life risk?
Or … are you going to choose great health and fitness for the rest of your life?
Chris enjoying a well-deserved rest between sets. A ‘set’ as I define it is: a continuous progression of 15 to 45 sec ‘focused moments’. Effort + Focus + heart + visualization + simulation [Quality Plan + Quality Implementation] ===> Quality results. Vv.
A major turning point in Alan’s life was coming to me for help. I helped him, help himself … build his bridge from where he was to … where he wanted to be.
Saved his job … saved his marriage … saved his life.
Photos (below) : walking-the-walk snd practising what I preach … so I can “talk-the-talk” with all my students of my Peak Performance Academy
My son and I. Provide the best blueprint you can of what it means to be a man. He needs you now more than ever. Save him now so that tomorrow’s world will be saved too. Vv.
Be the role model for the boys
Boys, young boys need saving.
They are saved by giving them a role model to follow.
When boys have a clear role model they intuitively know how to function when they assume the responsibility of marriage and parenting later on in life.
In my years in the gym and also owning a gym for about seven years, I have seen the effects of young boys who do not have male role models. They seem crippled and have no idea what it is to be a man.
It is our job to save our boys – the fathers of today to …. savethe fathers of tomorrow!
All young boys have a hunger for that – for that role model of what it means to be a man, a Real Man.I have seen it in their eyes, their actions and their passion, their being.
I believe, one of my God-appointed tasks is to ensure that my son will be ready to lead a family, a family of his own when his time comes. To do this, I feel it is my role to equip him with the skills to do so. Why? Because, he, along with the many other young boys of today will be the fathers of tomorrow.
Admiring ‘beauty’ in design and sound …. and getting in touch with our feminine side: Beauty and truth. Be the role model you want your future leader to be. A big responsibility, yes … but take it. Like a man, a Real Man. All the very best I’m with you.
What they are
A good foundation of all young boys is to firstly know who they are and what they are. Two key questions. This is enhanced through increased awareness of self, which is ideally, facilitated by the dad.
Young boys then need to observe their role model in action. For my son, this is where I come in (and where all dads play their part with their son). This is when these young minds crystallize what it means to be a man.
This is when the ‘ball is in my court …. And in your court’, if you’re a father to a son or sons right now. This is where the wires of his brain is wired together to form the foundation of his future self.
I’m going to say it again …. It is our job to save our boys – the fathers of today to …. savethe fathers of tomorrow! It is not the boy’s school’s job or extended family’s job. It is not society’s job and it is not the government’s role. This is not a job to be outsourced to other ‘so-called coaching disciplines’ like the countless activities coaches around today.
No, this is the job of today’s fathers. Period!
Learning and absorbing our habits every single day of their initial phase of their lives is what our young Princes do. Teach him how to be strong – internally and externally. To be strong when all around him crumbles. Teach them well.
Real Role models – dads like you and me
This is the role for you (if you are a father), for me. This is a job for what I refer to as today’ssilent heroes. Real men, real fathers who are there for their son(s) through thick and thin, that play their role without fanfare or applause.
No, I am not referring to the heroic men who are idealised in the media – the men who go off to war, the men who climb the highest mountains, the men who win Olympic medals nor the men who run the largest of corporations and the richest men and most successful men in the world, nor men who travel to other planets. Some of them are good examples of men.
Indeed.
However, I am simply referring to the real role models – dads like you and me. I see us dads who take this role with both hands as no different to those more common exhaulted heroes that make for good stories and tv ratings.
My children striking their version of one of the seven compulsory poses in bodybuilding – the “Front-double biceps” pose. … and strike!
I see “dads” who strive to be their son’s role models, not just by name … but actual sacrifice. Dads who try to be just like heroes but are not like those men who go off to war or represent their countries at the Olympic Games or the like. They are dads who give up their own selfish-bachelor ideals and career-hungry goals to be there for their son(s). They are dads and fathers who accept their own mortality and imperfection and embrace the vulnerable man within.
I see dads and fathers who take their role’s full responsibility as today’s silent heroes.
I am talking about the real fathers of today. Fathers who are simply there for their sons. Always. Fathers who provide the support and the impetus and template for the young boys today to be the men, the fathers’ of tomorrow.
The critical question is how are we going to do this, how are we supposed to give them sufficient, appropriate and relevant training to be the man they need to be? The man we hope them to be.
With the next generation of Valentine males – Zachary.
Unique ways
I have 5.5 goals for saving by boy. It is my job as his father to model for him the importance of:
Knowing and obeying Jesus Christ
Knowing and simplifying Godly character
Knowing and loving my wife
Knowing and loving my children, and
Knowing my gifts and strengths and the weaknesses and contribute to the lives of others and have fun doing all of this as well.
I have listed 5.5 as the list is not exhaustive and you could add to the list other goals of what you think means to be a man and a role model. That is totally fine. We all have unique ways. Every man is unique, yes, but I also believe, every man has more in common with one another than we care to admit and accept.
The important thing is for us to focus our attention on being the best we can be, for ourselves, first, so that our son(s) can get the best of us. This to me will increase the chances that more fathers of tomorrow will be saved.
For their sake, for their future families’ sake, for society’s sake and for the world’s sake, today’s boys need the best role models they can copy from.
Appropriate outfit given the Rugby World Cup and Go the Wallabies (and Go Fiji)!
Fathers stand tall and deliver!
Be the best man you can be. Be the best father you can be. For you, and for your future father(s).
The fathers of tomorrow need saving. I believe this so. They need saving before it is too late.
The fathers of tomorrow will only be saved if today’s fathers stand up, stand tall and deliver and lead by example – the example that will provide the best blueprint of what a male role model needs to be…. For their sons(s). Sons that will be leaders of tomorrow.
As you know, the focus for you and me is to strive towards being more of –
After the Lord, I’m first of all accountable to my wife, Cathy. I know and believe I can depend on her to tell it like it is. I believe it is the same for her too – she is accountable to me, after the Lord. Who are you accountable to?
God always works through Cathy to affirm or negate whatever may surface (whether opportunities or obstacles) in my life. Spiritually, I am accountable to God – have always been and always will be.
What about you? Who holds you accountable? We all need someone to whom we can pour out our deepest thoughts and headaches ….
For those of you that drive, you are familiar with that part of your vision that is a ‘blind spot’, an area that cannot be seen in your line of sight. Just like this, we all have blind spots in our lives too. Areas in our lives that hinder our spiritual growth and personal development but what sets these areas apart from other areas is that – in these areas, we cannot see.
For example, you may re-act to someone in anger that is actually verbally abusive or rude. You may find justification for your reaction but another person may help you understand that responding with kinder words and tone might illicit a positive response from the person.
Accountability is very important. In almost every area in life – on all levels individually, community, state, country and the world level. Accountability is a foundation of trust and trust is a critical component of any meaningful relationship.
The world needs more trust. The world needs more accountability. Without individual self-control and accountability there can be no enduring liberty or freedom in our societies.
We can only be free only as long as we can use freedom responsibly and being accountable is a part of this – on every level of human existence, from the street cleaners to Sports Stars, to Olympians and all the way to leaders of governments.
Side Chest.
Feedback is the food of champions!
As you know, if we are not accountable to someone else, we may never understand why people reject our advice or us because we do not understand the full consequences and implications of our actions. This is being true to ourselves – taking control, accepting responsibility.
I’ve always believed that feedback, any kind of feedback is an essential contributor to growth – in all aspects of life. Someone once said “Feedback is the food of champions!”. I have to agree with that. It is consistent with nature.
For a lot of people, getting feedback can be an uncomfortable experience. You would know if you have sat through performance appraisals for employers.
On a personal level, we must learn to accept constructive criticism of ourselves if we wish to take positive actions to adapt and grow. That way, we set ourselves better to overcome problems and hiccups as we journey through life.
There is a passage in the bible (I think from proverbs) that says –
“Stern discipline awaits him who leaves the path; he who hates corrections will die.”
Life is a continuous flow of feedback loops, which when embraced, allows for growth (order/new life) from temporary chaos (feedback).
We’ll all die someday, yes this is a certainty, but it would be wise to be aware of your ‘blind spots’ well before you kick-the-bucket. This may help you ‘see’ better and live a more fulfilling life, while you’re still alive. Responsible self-control and accountability is the path to mental health, and frequently, to physical health as well.
Be accountable. Be accountable to you, to your God and to at least one other human being you trust. Embrace and learn to accept feedback, even if it makes you feel uncomfortable.
I’ve always told my students in my programs over the years that we must learn to be ‘comfortable being uncomfortable’ even if it is just for a short time. Getting feedback and digesting it is uncomfortable. Learn to be comfortable being uncomfortable when it comes to being accountable and embracing feedback.
47 year old Chris looking and feeling better than he did in his 20s. Living my Triple A Approach to Self-development using my “3-legged stool” framework. Self-tuning using my adaptive strategy towards being his best S. Achieved through being accountable to me.
No time to lose
Use feedback (positive or negative) to continuously grow and adapt towards the best version you can be of no one else but – YOU. The feedback allows you to see your blindspot(s).
Be the best you can be – for you, first, then for everyone else. Being accountable and taking responsibility for your actions is part of being the real you, being human. Being accountable and discovering your blindspot(s) is also about being a winner.
Winners get behind the wheel, firmly in the driver’s seat. Winners take control of their thoughts, their daily routines, their goals and their lives. Winners embrace feedback for improvement. They create their own horoscopes and astrological forecasts. They spend their time Winning … knowing they have no time to Lose.
Be the winner that you are!
Best of vitality to you.
Until next time,
Ghana female sprint champion being accountable to me to help her achieve her goals. Vv.
Being accountable has allowed me to achieve the highest level in the sport of Natural Bodybuliding. Accountability is a critical component of achieving results and goals in life. Vv.
The “Most Muscular” (HULK) pose in the sport of Body-building. Roaarrr!!!
We all get angry now and then.
That’s something everyone reading this blog and every citizen of the world have in common. I have always been fascinated with the Marvel Universe characters, one of which is the “Hulk”. To a little extent, I like to imagine that every person has a super-hero in them. That we all have some superhero power.
In this blog, I would argue that there is a Hulk in every one of us.
What’s important is not that we all have that Hulk that could awaken at a moment’s notice but that we get better at managing that Hulk – that anger. Knowing when to unleash your Hulk.
You see, in dealing with thousands of people of all ages in all walks of life in more than two decades in the gym environment, one of the observations I have made is that different people use anger to hide different feelings. The interesting thing is that a lot of times a lot of people don’t know the real reason they are angry.
Think about you when you get angry. Do you use anger to cover different emotions at different times?
Having children brings out the best in every parent and I think many, if not all parents reading this would agree. This includes the best of ‘anger’ too. Having children teaches you many things, one of which is patience and your tolerance for it. “Zachary, can you stop kicking the car seat please!” and then a few minutes later … “For the hundredth time, Zachary, stop kicking the car seat please!”.
Your patience is constantly tested by your children as you do your best to control that lever that releases the Hulk or anger. It is a daily constant battle at times.
Two principles of building muscle: 1) Simplicity and 2} Continuity. Become aware; Apply action: Adapt accordingly.
In this phase of his life, my son’s curiosity encourages him to push limits – push beyond his own physical, mental and emotional limits and also push us – my wife and I, beyond our limits too. An interesting phase in our lives to say the least.
I have learned that, as parents, we MUST be permissive to our children’s feelings while setting limits to their action, when appropriate. One of the problems most, if not, all parents face is: when to use discipline and when to GIVE IN; when to be firm and when to be easy; when to give TOUGH LOVE and when to show CARE AND EMPATHY.
At one point or another, we all find ourselves asking ourselves the question: “Is this the moment to be accepting and empathise so that my child will not be afraid of his feelings?” or “should I put my foot down so he understands that he cannot get away with this?”
What I have found is that there are NO SET RULES TO FOLLOW.
Each situation must be handled separately but this is not as difficult as it sounds.
As an owner of a gym for 7 years, I found myself constantly resolving conflicts – conflicts between members, conflicts between members and their family members, internal conflicts of members and conflicts in general. What I found was that the first response I chose to a situation SET THE TONE for how traumatically an event will be taken. I have also found that this is a very good approach to keep in mind when dealing with children too.
It seems to work with my ability to manage conflicts with my two kids.
When one of my children is hurting, I have found that compounding it by reacting with angry words or action (and letting the HULK out) does not add to the solution. Instead, responding with initial softness and empathy, helps more. I think it allows the child to see that if me or my wife (Dad or mum) aren’t panicking, maybe, just maybe, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
The philosophy you follow heavily influences whether you achieve your goals in life or not.
Where does this ability to be permissive and initiate softness and keep from panicking come from? It comes from WITHIN. The same place the HULK lies dormant. It is a choice. It is a choice that is made by you, the parent, in the good times – the quiet times. That is the best time. The best time to decide on how you respond to a child’s mis-behaviour.
Because if you didn’t decide on such an approach/response or similar, then chaos would prevail and anger or the Hulk will be default system you will react on. There isn’t time to think about ways to prevent a fire, in the MIDDLE OF A FIRE!
If you’re religious, you will believe that GOD works all things unto good.
So, when difficulty first happens, don’t lecture your children, panic or commence scolding. Allowing them to feel the hurt, the anger and initially responding to their behaviour with calm comforting lays an important foundation. A foundation that will allow them to find value in their experience.
Yes, it is much easier to just release the HULK, but it takes a lot of strength to keep it at bay. Calmness comes from within. For you Christians or members of other religious denominations reading this, calmness comes from God’s word. For those of you not so religiously inclined, think of this calmness as being already a part of you. Part of your “inner-self”.
THERE IS A TIME AND PLACE FOR GENUINE, APPROPRIATE ANGER. There is a time and place to let the HULK out. For instance, most of us would respond to injustice and cruelty with anger. Healthy anger can be channelled towards constructively making our world a better place to live in. Healthy anger can be transmuted when one trains with weights. This is one of the un-sung benefits of weight-training with moderate to heavy weights. When executed properly, negative energy (anger) is transmuted through the iron and replaced with a charge of positive energy and vitality.
Anger or the HULK, when released with the appropriate intensity and direction is very positive and a good thing. This is partly because painful trials or conflicts that challenge the threat of the release of our anger/the HULK, produces something encouraging. It produces maturity and growth.
This maturity and growth ultimately leads to LOVE.
Your challenge: become better at controlling the Hulk within. Don’t be afraid to let it out and work on becoming increasingly aware of when to unleash your Hulk. But, only release your Hulk – when appropriate, and with a proportional response.
Playing with weights is as safe for children as it is for adults. Like all things, boundaries and limits are to be applied.
I have been asked many questions relating to health and fitness and weight training over the last 23 years in the gym.
If I knew the answer to the question of when it is safe for children to weight train, I would be lying. However, after all that time and my love of deducing conclusions from simply observations of consistent trends around me, I would like to attempt to provide a solution.
I will use my powers of reasoning I have developed in my 40 years on this earth, so far.
Here we go ….
My son Zachary, doing weights even before he could all properly
Leading Legends
I am truly inspired by older generations who have maintained resistance training for most of their lives. Almost all of them look and feel like someone 10, 15 even 20 years younger.
“Leading Legends” – that’s what I call them. They are great examples of making it part of lifestyle.
Some of them used to tell me about how perceptions have changed over the last 50 years in regards to exercise in general and in particular – the many myths relating to weight training.
There were and still are many myths relating to weight training. There was a time when people were saying that weight training wasn’t good for women. Before that athletes like rugby players were told to stay away from weight training as it would ‘slow’ them down – this wasn’t too long ago – even in the 70s.
And even further back, it was even questioned whether weight training was in fact good for anyone at all. Times change and myths get busted. Myths are just that – myths and are meant to be dis-proven.
It is only in more recent times that the general public has accepted that weight-training is of enormous benefit to women too. I am so happy about the increase in women attending gyms as I have seen this landscape change quite a bit over the last two decades.
Now, my question is if weight training is now believed to be of enormous benefit for men and women, why shouldn’t it be good for children? After all isn’t exercise good for everyone?
My son Zachary would crawl around my Family Gym that I owned & managed for 7 years. He used to remove the pins from the machines to the dismay of the members
To weight train – you do one thing
The truth or my version of ‘the truth’ in my straight-forward answer is that weight training can benefit any individual – young or old – who is healthy enough to engage in the activity. But that is just my opinion.
I have helped hundreds of people of all ages – kids under ten (including my children) all the way to people in their 90s. Human physiology is the same no matter what age. To weight train – you do one thing: work the muscles. To do this, you literally extend and contract that particular muscle under tension/force provided by the weight.
Simple. Right?
The very old and the very young and everyone in-between can do that. It’s what muscles are meant to do: to ‘work’ for you.
There are still myths relating to children training even in today’s world. The biggest fear amongst parents appear to be the possible negative effects on the development of children prior to puberty – that lifting stunts the growth of children.
If this was the case, the famous Arnold Schwarzenegger would should not have grown to 6’2” as he started lifting weights well before he hit puberty. I am not a Doctor but I believe this irrational fear is unfounded medically.
My daughter on the leg extension machine in my a family gym
How are risk assessments done?
My question is if weight-training was a height depressant, why is it that considerable growth can sometimes take place in the ‘post-puberty’ years. And if this was a medical fact, then, everyone should only start weight-training when their full height potential has been reached. For some, this would be well in to their early twenties.
The issue as I see it relates to the formation and growth of bones. I can understand the parents’ worries, including my family Doctor’s. From what I understand about what I have read about bones, the process of bone formation and growth is hopelessly complex and wonderfully simple at the same time.
If I recall correctly, Tiger Woods picked up and was training in golf from the age of 2 and was coached by his dad. Leytton Hewitt began playing tennis around the age of 3. Some top swimmers were undergoing stringent 4am early-morning training programs from a very young age, where parents were driving them to and from swimming pools. I know because I had good friends that were doing that when we were in Primary School.
Not many made the Olympics.
Is this any different to subjecting a child to some gym training under supervision in a gym? How is it that the perception of risk of a child in the gym is greater than that of a child on a soccer field, swimming pool, golf course or rugby field? What about a child playing tennis or netball? How are these risk assessments done?
I believe the risks to a child and his or her growing bones and muscles is higher with the other sporting activities compared to the risks associated with supervised structured weight-training.
With some of the members of my Family gym Playing around with some ‘light weights’ … that children can also play with
A better athlete gets better results.
In my opinion the risk to bones, joints and muscle development and overall health risk (injuries from knocks to the brain and head in Rugby or other contact sports) is greater to the young kids playing most sporting activity outside the gym, compared to structured activity in the gym. My assessment of risks of these contact sports is VERY HIGH to EXTREME, because of the repetitive knocks to the head and recurring concussions.
I believe proper muscular development assisted by a well-structured weight-training program, complements whatever sporting activity a child/person chooses.
It simply makes them a better athlete. A better athlete gets better results.
The risks to the joints of the other sporting activities – like golf, tennis, netball, swimming, running etc is HIGH. The wear and tear to the joints is very high.
The joints are over used, and there is accelerated wear and tear and it shortens the effective useful life of your body. Just like any other machine of value you possess – say a car, for example. Depreciation rates can vary depending on how you use and service your machines.
Most individuals then suffer from premature ageing (from over-use) of joints and really suffer uncomfortable daily living later on in life. However, the risks to the child’s self-esteem; sense of self-worth and interest need to also be monitored too. Participants can be severely negatively affected because of the constant expectations of tolerance levels.
Weight-training done safely and under appropriate supervision is a safer and more beneficial to a child’s whole-self development then any other physical activity there is. Weight-training complements and helps make a child better at whichever sport they choose to participate in.
It is only now that tightening of regulations are being implemented to address not only some current risks but also long-term risks sustained by athletes.
My children are as comfortable with a set of light dumbells, not dissimilar to young budding soccer players or tennis juniors with footballs and rackets in camp and sporting academies. In this controlled soccer environments, no one appears to question the deliberate practises these children are forced to undertake in non-weight-bearing activities and how safe it is.
My son and I hanging out in my Family Gym
Just because a big majority of people are sending their kids there does not mean it is the safest or have the lowest risks.
Or how many instances of injuries are sustained by the very young, many of whom are regularly seeing physios and chiros at an age that is unheard of only a few decades ago.
What does this tell us? About the risks these kids are putting themselves under, the full extent will become evident in their later years.
People are only too quick to place gym training as a high risk but this is yet another myth and here is where I believe the problem is:
It isthe inability of parents and administrators of sporting activities to initially correctly assess the level of risks. Yes, self-limiting beliefs unfairly bestowed on to children by parents who know no better.
Maybe they just need to adopt a new thinking paradigm that assists in the development of the ability to assess risks of activities and whether or not the risk is acceptable to them.
Time will bust these myths.
Big Truths will always beat Big Lies.
Believe in BETTER.
Make better choices with the life that you have left, with the lives of your children. Time on this planet is all that we really have anyway and one day … that will be taken from all of us.
This is one of those BIG TRUTHS or is this a BIG LIE? Anyone believe this is a MYTH?
All the best.
Until next time,
My wife & kids hanging out with me for a few hours in our Family Gym. The gym was my children’s playground.
Learning and absorbing our habits every single day of their initial phase of their lives is what our young Princes do. Teach them well.
A common fear among people who have never been to a gym and even current gym enthusiasts is feeling a little intimidated when they are there. The atmosphere of some gyms can be quite intimidating indeed for some.
I know I felt that same feeling many, many years ago when I first summoned the courage to enter a gym. After a few tries, you will get over this initial feeling of discomfort – something all trainees will have to deal with at some time.
Now, I could go through a top 10 things to consider when assessing which gym deserves your patronage such as – cleanliness, Equipment conditions, equipment in general, personal training services, locker availability and cost etc but I won’t.
Why? Well, you could easily do this yourself on the internet these days and maybe even get on a web-site that compares gyms and ranks them based on your buying criteria. A common method of deciding on a choice if you are that inclined.
However I believe that sometimes, in life it is more fruitful if you make your decision that is the best for you not based on your ‘need’.
No, sometimes in life, you need to base your decision on whatresonates with your philosophy in life. If you don’t, then you may well find yourself (like hundreds of thousands of gym goers world-wide) jumping from gym to gym, searching. Searching for the gym that best suits their needs.
Your philosophy matters.
With Margaret and her guide dog. She was such a lovely human being. Never said never. I trained her daughter (who was also partially blind) to represent Australia at the Paralympics. She was one tough school girl with a lot of GRIT. Just like her mum. Choose a gym that resonates and agrees with your philosophy of life.
Choosing a gym is an ínternal’ exercise, not an éxternal’ one
It is highly likely that you will not find your answer to your dissatisfaction by constantly switching gyms (for whatever reasons you generate). Instead you will likely grow tired and you will eventually feel de-motivated, like millions of trainees worldwide do. When this sets in, you can kiss your work-outs goodbye!
Sad, I know … but true.
After being in and around gyms for almost thirty years now and owning my own family gym for about seven years, here’s what I believe you need to do:
Determine your philosophy on life – ascertain what you value in life, what are you principles?
Find a gym that is aligned to this.
I am almost 100% certain that you will be content. This is not an exercise in ‘external search’ for a gym but it is an exercise in ‘internal search’ for the Real YOU. What I am trying to say is that choosing a gym is an internal exercise, not an external one.
For some, this search for a different gym and never being satisfied may be a manifestation of a deep seated fear of rejection that may likely go back to their formative years where they may have been subjected to ‘conditional love’. This manifestation becomes an obsession with what other people think and fuels this search for that elusive gym that meets all their needs.
Me and my family of extended family of members. I created an environment to replace something I was missing living in a busy, big city like Sydney: the intimacy and connectedness of a truly local and extended family feel that I grew up with in my youth in Fiji. I missed my éxtended family’ and this served my needs and the members needs too
The perfect gym does not exist
You won’t find that, a gym that meets all your needs, that is. It is like searching for “Mr Right” … or “Mrs Perfect”. They don’t exist like the perfect gym that meets ALL your needs does not exist. Accept that the Perfect gym does not exist. What exists is a person or a gym that meets most of your key needs and resonate with your philosophy on life.
I must warn you though: it is not an easy exercise. It can be a little scary. Remember though that all negative habit patterns can be overcome by giving your mind new nutritional thoughts. The most powerful, most nutritional thought we can think is “I like myself”.
A simple, yet profound statement of belief and I liken it to an anti-biotic for the mind. Makes you feel better after repeating the statement for a period of time. Try it, see how you feel.
A hallmark of a mature human being like you is the acceptance of total responsibility for your life and all the decisions you have made to date. The acceptance of total responsibility is a line in the sand in your life that from that point, you have no more excuses.
Your feeling of personal freedom and total control of your life and happiness is a direct product of your acceptance of total responsibility. This includes your responsibility to investing time in your health and fitness.
So – Accept. Totally.
Then ….
Me my extended family members; a group of members of my family gym. They all loved training and being part of the extended family that was my gym
Join the club that chooses you
Join the gym that is aligned with your values and principles. Join the club that chooses you. I prefer good old-school gyms (very few around these days) where there are a good selection of free-weights (barbells and dumbells) and good benches, a power rack or cage (to let the animal inside of you out).
A gym that has outstanding free-weights equipment and the best ambience wins, hands-down all the time for me.
Personally, I prefer a gym that doesn’t treat you like a number. Where everyone knows your name and your know theirs. Where people talk to each other instead of just connecting with a machine. A gym where if you’re absent, people notice it. A gym like they used to be – a social club. Like the gym I owned and managed for about seven years of my life, a real ‘family gym’. I was so connected to each and every member that they would tell me of their travel plans and almost everything about themselves and their families and ups-and-downs in their lives.
My life was intricately connected to each person, so much so that if I noticed that they hadn’t come for a while, I would personally call them up ( I wouldn’t get my staff to call them). If I didn’t get them (and if they lived alone), I would drive over to their residence to see if they were ók’.
Believe me when I say that I had intervened in many people’s lives and brought them back to this reality. There were people that no one called up on, except for me. There were people that, if I hadn’t knocked on their door of their residence to see if they were ok, they wouldn’t be here today. That was one of my roles as a caring, trusting and compassionate gym owner.
Members of my éxtended family’ also connected over food (protein for the hard-working muscles) and beer (for the biceps peak) We were a family in more ways then just one (training together)
Feel ‘connected’ with a real person instead of being connected through technology mediums. Talk to other patrons of the gym (the way my old school gym was, where everyone spoke to one another and knew each other’s names. Just a big extended family, like I lived in my early youth, growing up in the paradise islands of Fiji.
You’ll probably find that you would have more in common with more people there then you would be different.
We’re all social beings after all and your time in the gym satisfies one of the most basic of human needs in a very healthy way – our innate social need.
And become the … the … social animal that you know you are but instead of swapping alcoholic recipes, you’ll be sharing protein shake concoctions. Realising this and accepting it in your life can make you look on the bright side of life more readily. It could move you closer to the elusive ‘happiness’ state … something that the world can learn from the Happiest Citizens on this planet: Fiji.
Just so happens, I was born and lived my early youth in Fiji and understand why Fijians are the happiest people on this earth, a few of the many reasons why are touched on in my words above. Find your gym by allowing the ‘fijian’ in you to speak to you.
All the very best in your choice!
Until next time,
Cheers & Ahoy!
The old Captain Viking Pirate …. & choosing the right gym for YOU
Building your strength in the gym is only one definition of what it means to be ‘strong’
I love Pirates … I love skulls. Why the skull? Well, it holds and protects the most important organ we have – Our brain. The organ that allows us to think and do and feel whatever it is that we desire. Thank God for skulls.
Good, Winning Habits
One of the goals in life, as I see it, is to develop a lifestyle that is appealing and inspiring to you and simultaneously setting a healthy guideline and example for those who look to you for guidance and encouragement in their own lives. If you don’t see this as a goal in your life, that is totally fine. It is your life, after all.
I think, the most important thing is to believe in yourself, but more importantly believe in the person you imagine yourself to be. On a daily basis, as sure as you brush your teeth the first thing in the morning, you need to develop a habit of simulating how you imagine your life to be … of projecting that image of yourself that you would most like to become and living and breathing that ‘person’.
That is key.
All habits are learned. That means that just as you work on developing good habits, you can also, unintentionally, develop bad habits. Losing habits. Losing habits like self-criticism, smoking, excessive drinking, overeating, laziness, anxiety, depression, sloppiness, dishonesty, cruelty and insensitivity, amongst many others are all developed in to a part of a person’s character through deliberate and relentless practise. So are positive good, winning habits – learned and retained through the same deliberate practise!
It’s a choice. So, choose well.
Lets make a concerted effort to deliberately practise the latter habits – good, winning habits.
To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. – Ralph Waldo Emerson. Building a World Class Natural Physique takes patience and deliberate practise of key daily habits.
Life ain’ts a dress rehearsal
Life is like a big stage or theater and we play many roles. We do our very best to learn these different roles and play them to the best of our ability. We soon find out that the better we play life, the better life gets for us. Part of this comes from understanding and becoming aware of you, of yourself. When you get better at playing the various roles you’ve been asked to play in life, life gets better for you.
When you work on improving your self-awareness, you begin fantasizing or dreaming your own new ‘scripts’ or better roles, as if your life were a magnificent, epic motion picture opening on all the big screens around the world. Breaking ‘box-office’ records, as you walk down your red carpet.
Play it well, my friend, play it well. Your dreams … your thoughts … your scripts … your epic movie has been written, produced, directed and starred in by no one else but YOU!
There is only one catch: life ain’t a dress rehearsal!
Each second of the 86,400 seconds in each day allows you to get to know YOU, better. Do so. Start by becoming more self-aware. Sometimes, in life, to move ahead, one needs to take a step backwards … so, try stepping back from your own life … and take a long, quiet walk … along pathways in a mountain …or in a quiet park … on the beach.
Absorb the beauty of nature and all its wonders, through all your senses. Bask in its beauty. Become one with it. Then, make an honest assessment of what you are doing, where you are going in your life and most importantly, who you are becoming.
Helping someone achieve his best, in one of the best ways I know how: through increasing self-awareness. Vv.
Love Life and it will love your back
Then, stop!
Stop to appreciate and be in awe of your own uniqueness, of your strengths and beauty. Sit still or stand still. For a second. For a minute. For 10 minutes. Become aware of the one truth that you and many, may have not have stopped to fathom to date and that is that – you have been selling yourself short in evaluating your own potential in the whole stage rehearsal of life.
Do me a favour. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Stop whinging. Look around you. There’s enough whingers in the world today, already. Stop it. Please. Stop pitying yourself! If you’re breathing right now, than it means that you’re alive.
You see, when I take my first breath in the morning, I say thank you to my God, my universe and I jump our of bed, asking myself, who am I going to help and serve today! Yep, I do that every single day. Giving thanks constantly for all my blessings … on a daily basis.
If you’re alive than nothing else, in my opinion, tops that. You’re alive! If you feel like whinging, don’t! If that is the case, then, you’re enjoying some degree of health and vitality. Just for a second or two, put yourself in to the shoes of the many millions of people around the world that are suffering. Every single second. You cannot and should not complain about life, then!
Love life and it will love you back.
Be YOU. As YOU are. Accept the uniqueness … and weirdness that you know you are. Embrace YOU. Never imitate.
Keep dreaming
I tell anyone that wants to listen that the mind is the most powerful tool that we all have. You become what you habitually think all day. You effectively create to a certain degree, your own horoscope. Your own luck. You are constantly becoming what you are thinking about every waking moment – so it is very important to focus and put your concentration on things and habits that will add to your life. To your feeling of self-worth.
You need to be clear on your desires or dreams and FOCUS on these and not on fears.
So, watch your thoughts. Keep dreaming.
Hold your dreams steadfastly in your mind and focus on them. Let go your fears. Let go ALL fears. Fears do nothing but cause unnecessary stress in your life and this may cause anxiety, depression, ulcers and all sorts of diseases. Stresses, uncontrolled and mis-managed manifests itself in the physical, in the form of diseases, and part of this management comes down to self-awareness as you should also know what your stress tolerance levels are, too.
Its important to keep dreaming. Why? Because they are effectively goals. What are goals? Dreams with a deadline. Set your goals. Set your game plan. Set your game plan or course in the sea of life. Set it with worthwhile goals that are progressive and realistic. Notice, I have said progressive or incremental and realistic. It is very easy when setting goals to not address this two very important factors. Without satisfying these two factors, ones dreams is merely wishful thinking or worse still, delusional thinking.
Very common in the world today. You see it live and well on social media, tv reality programs and just daily living. People struggling to differentiate between positive goal setting and thinking and delusional thinking.
Those who dream … to be different … and aim to share their unique selves with the world, to help … get the love back in return.
Setting goals
I find it easier to put my goals down on paper.
I do it around this time of the year for the next year. Work this in to your New Year’s Resolutions if you’re setting some for 2014. You don’t need to tell anyone. Just you. For you. Try it. Put in down on paper and write down specific daily tasks and weekly and monthly that are aligned to your mean and end goals.
Your subconscious mind and the universe will conspire to help your achieve your goals. Just try it (setting goals, that is) and see. However, this needs discipline but if your heart is in it, if your heart is anything, you will find that you will almost likely achieve the dream or goal.
Real discipline as I see it is being able to imagine you have already achieved the goal even if you haven’t yet. Discipline in the physical daily habits is one thing. Discipline in simulating in your mind the achievement of it is another. This is not easy. Matter of fact this is darn right difficult. It takes a lot of practise. Your brain has to be re-wired or hard-wired and this is done by deliberate practise. It is worth achieving though. It deserves practise.
“Why? ” I hear you ask –
Allow your mind to ”connect’ with infinite intelligence. With consciousness. It is like nothing you’ve ever experienced before. The subconscious mind is part of the ‘mind’ Question is: what does the conscious mind do that the subconscious mind doesn’t
Instant gratification
Because, I believe one of the biggest problems facing human-kind today is ill-discipline of the mind.
You can see it everywhere in everyone’s insatiable desire for instant gratification. No one believes in delayed gratification anymore. No one believes in the old fashioned value of ‘patience’ anymore. Its great for business and commerce, as youngsters want the latest gadgets – NOW, not tomorrow or next month. Now!
Lack of discipline. Lack of mental discipline. This is why discipline is necessary. Because discipline, as I have read somewhere in the past, is the ability to ‘practise within, when you are without’. We can summarize this very important philosophy on the achievement of goals in life like this:
As I close on this blog, keep in mind, amongst your many other archived thoughts, that you, yes, you are no more than the accumulated picture of your thoughts and actions.
I. AM. GOD?
So, if you haven’t already thought about this yet, I learned from a wise man once that we –
“have to be very careful of our thoughts, as this determines our actions; be careful of your actions as it determines your habits; be careful of the habits you adopt, as it determines your character; and finally, be aware of your character as it determines your destiny.”
If you want to be loved, be loveable
So, you see, where you end up in life begins and ends in your mind. Become a better manager of your mind, my friend. Become an expert at managing your mind. What you achieve out of life and where you end up in life, depends heavily on it.
It does not matter which race you are, what creed or place in society you were born in to, understand one basic and critically important life rule:
“If you want to be loved, be loveable. If you want respect, set a respectable example!”
My early days in the catholic church taught me that one should treat others as you want to be treated. I’m certain other religions teach a similar thing. Matter of fact, I think, even if you didn’t belong to any religion, you would innately, think the same. I try and apply this every day. Great and simple teaching I think. Try it. See what happens.
Love life and life may just love you back, better.
I hope you believe in hope. It is a great word that encompasses many good things. Things like faith, courage, good, love etc. Its all encompassing. Just like the universe is. Anyway, I would like to wish all you readers the best that HOPE has to offer you, Each and every one of you, in 2014. Your hope for a better you. Your hope for a better future. Your hope for a better life. Whatever it is. Your hope is dependent on you. On your thoughts. On you mind.
Changing lives. Empowering people. One life at a time. 
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