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Don’t chase the unchaseable

Me, some of my quirks (showing off my muscles, posing at every and any opportunity and my desire to ‘over’ dress than to ‘under’ dress. Also, my quirk of love for dogs (and in particular, my pirate dog) and animals in general.

Know YOU.

Being different and appreciating & developing your uniqueness can make you stand out in a world 🌎 that is very cluttered.

That is a positive thing if that is what you desire.

Know YOU (your strengths).

Love 💕 YOU (not in a narcissistic way).

Work on YOU (your talents & gifts).

Share YOU (& your strengths ) with those who love what YOU DO (by being the best servant you can) because YOU love others.

And humanity.

With care, trust and compassion.

Choose love 💕 not hate.

Always.

Now, there is a difference between positive thinking and delusional thinking. I have been like a sponge absorbing and educating myself from the University of Life, in all streams of knowledge sources – books, mentors and leaders of various fields, more books, family, friends, strangers … even more books, videos and … more books.

For almost five decades now.

Everyone and everything teaches You something.

Champions practise a lot of visualisation and simulation.
To create magic, you need to fuse the worlds of sanity (where you are) with insanity (where you dream/imagine you are, before you are).
That is difficult.
That is one of the key keys.
Don’t stop. Trying. Believing.
Keep on … keeping on. You’ll get there. Everyone always does.
Especially, if you do it with your heart. and ….
with LOVE.

Manage your funnel better

One of the skills is to squeeze out irrelevance and “bull-sh*t” as your sponge-like-brain absorbs knowledge and know-how. In other words, in the wise words of an ex-business/life mentor of mine –

“learn to manage your funnel better”

Here’s one maxim that was mis-leading growing up: –

“You can be anything you want to be, if you just try hard enough.”

Now, like most people, I embraced this maxim at a young age. Along with thousands of other kids, I spent a good chunk of my childhood trying to be the next Rugby 7s star ( in my case, it was the Fijian Rugby 7s legend – Waisele Serevi, on par with New Zealand’s Johah Lomu).

Every day growing up in Fiji, we played rugby 7s and practised the “goose-step/side-step” and explosive lateral movements and ‘dance like a twinkle toe ballerina on a rugby field’ kind of play.

But, there was always someone better.

After giving 100% of my effort for most of my primary and early secondary school life, I couldn’t even make the junior Rugby Team (well, its very hard to crack a team in Fiji as there is a multitude of supreme athletisism when it came to rugby).

I was just one of the many other fans on the side-line, part of the cheer squad for the schools.

backstage with a fellow competitor
I won

Who you already are

The truth: playing a starring role for Fiji at the Rugby 7s or World Cup wasn’t in the cards for me.

I realised early that I CANNOT BECOME anything I wanted to (like I was told to believe) and that I needed to focus on building on who I already was.

Each of us, unique individuals has a greater potential for success in specific areas, and the key to human development – all our individual development is building on who you already are.

While my story may be simplistic, in many cases, I have found (in helping people, helping themselves, find their best selves over the last two decades) is, amongst other key things – aligning yourself with the right task can make things easier.

For YOU.

Even the great Michael Jordan of the basketball courts could not become, well, the “Michael Jordan” of golf or baseball, no matter how hard he tried.

When we’re able to put most of our energy into developing our natural talents, it seems, extraordinary room for growth exists (just like building quality – muscle if your have the genetics for building muscle, like I do …. Remember, I didn’t have the height gene and so never played basketball but I did have the muscle genes).

Let’s say I didn’t discover bodybuilding when I did. Say, even though I had the potential to build large muscles, quickly and I didn’t train it regularly enough, they wouldn’t develop to World Standard Quality.

However, because I discovered it in my late teens and I did work, they grew. Keeping everything else constant, if I did the work equally as hard as someone without as much natural potential, I am likely to see a greater return on my investment.

And I did.

Representing Australia at the World Natural Physique Championships in New York, USA.
Placed: 4th In the world.
Success = Preparation meeting opportunity. I was prepared.
It also includes knowing what to leave out to allow you to focus on what is important to achieve your goal(s)

Taking the I M out of IMPossible

I was one of two (the Top 2) who was picked to represent Australia at the World Natural Bodybuilding Championships – the two best in Australia. Imagine that story – boy from developing country, the Fiji Islands makes it all the way to compete against the best in the world at, not one, but two World Natural Bodybuilding Championships in New York, USA.

A city (New York) that is at the opposite end of development and modernity. An island boy, wearing grass skirts and living the simplest of lives beats the best in the world, with access to the best nutrition and training equipment and multi-million dollar machines and coaching.

Not a bad story I think.

You can take the “I M” out of IM Possible if you identify and work FROM your strengths.

I am living proof of this.

Result of time x hard work => multiple NSW, Australian Bodybuilding Titles and 2 x World Natural Bodybuilding Top 5 placings, two years in a row. I discovered my sport rather late … when I was almost twenty years of age.

Fluke?

I don’t think so.

The old maxim told us by well-intensioned elders of –

“you-can-be-anything-you-want-to-be” should be modified to accurately reflect reality as we perceive it:

YOU cannot be anything you want to be – but you can be a lot more of who YOU already are.

Know YOU and your talents/gifts.

Don’t chase the un-chaseable. You’ll waste the most precious gift given to you: LIFE.

working triceps in my gym

Taking the path of most resistance

Do you know what your gifts or talents are? Are you working and doing a job that is working from your strengths? You don’t know?

Well, it seems that many people go through life, living a life, not from a strengths approach for several reasons –

They are simply unaware
Unable to describe their own strengths …. Or the strengths of the people around them

Because they have been told and have been working on “ their perceived weaknesses or shortcomings” or ‘areas of improvement’ in their corporate jobs, most of their lives.

It seems that from ‘cradle to the cubicle’ we devote more time to our shortcomings than to our strengths, and taking the path of most resistance. Why, why, why!!

Sadly, studies show that the vast majority of people don’t have the opportunity to focus on what they do best. What happens to these people? Well, they’re not their best and … they’re simply a very different person. Studies show that, for example, in the workplace, you are six times less likely to be engaged in your job.

So, when you’re not able to use your strengths at work, chances are that you :

Hate going to your place of work
Have more negative than positive interactions with your colleagues
Treat your customers badly
Tell your friends and family what an awful company you work for
Achieve considerably less on a daily basis
Have less positive and creative moments

Not ideal and healthy for you, is it?

This is why doing work that you love and working from your strengths is very important, compounded over your lifetime, given that life is the most valuable thing given to you.

side chest in the gym

Some key steps to identifying your strengths.

Ask yourself, what are you really good at? What did you like doing as a child that your kind of enjoyed and had fun doing? Is there anything that springs to mind? Did you find it easier to accomplish a certain task or activity while others struggled?

That could be a talent or gift of yours that has been laying dormant all these years.

Add time (it took me about ten years to get to my first World Championships in New York, USA) and hard work (deliberate, specific skills at your art/in my case, through education and coaching – building maximum muscle with shape and balance & symmetry and being able to show it off on stage and ‘paint a motion picture of the flow of sculptured muscle/art” ) – makes it a strength (s).

As one of my favourite business gurus said (Dr Peter Drucker (1909 – 2005):

“Most people think they know what they are good at. They are usually wrong ….. and yet, a person can perform only from strength”

So, find your unique gifts and develop them into strengths.

And value the difference that YOU are.

You’re welcome,

Cheers 🍻 & ahoy!

The Old Captain Viking Pirate 🏴‍☠️⚔️Muscle 💪Monk 🤔😎….& being different/wierd

Quality Plan + Quality Implementation allowed Team Valentine (my wife & I) to beat the best in the sport here in Australia and stand on the stage against the best in the World.

The best thing you can do to help the world is … to continuously strive to be the best you can be, for you first, then for everyone else.

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A Poem – Out of Love

Life: Connections upon connections. A continuous pathway to … nowhere.
Line Drawing – My Life: in frames
Your task: draw your life in frames.

A Poem – Out of Love

We held a family meeting at a restaurant in the big bright lights of the city,

Everyone hadn’t seen each other for a while and there was a lot of pity.

The shy waitress approached and tentatively asked if we would like to order a drink,

My grandson, big talker, yelled out, “yes, please, one beer!” as she wrote in her notebook with ink.

They say that I wasn’t “me”, that I was losing my memory,

Thinking it was best that they made decisions and that it was best for me.

The last time round, I heard them say the same thing,

What I needed was an ear and heart to be listened to, and allow me to sing.

So there we were; and, when everyone saw that my energies were up,

The waitress, a stranger in the group slipped up by me, smiling and asking if I would like to have a cup.

A cup of tea, I said “yes, please my dear” with the full satisfaction of a child in a candy store,

But still the others only spoke of themselves and what they wanted from me, hurting me to the core.

And so we sat; I spoke out loud and clear, without the least pretense,

“Life is a gift” I muttered, “today this gathering here today makes a lot of sense.”

Disposing of me by rushing me to an Old Peoples’ Home, just because you think it is right –

My life is mine and mine, alone, just like yours is to you and as disappointing as it may be to you, I am not going to be put out of sight.

And when they stood, gasped and questioned my decision,

I politely said “sit, it is better on the energy for you” as this debate was kind of fun.

That same waitress walked into the commotion, laying down everyone’s drink,

Looked at me, winked and said she overheard the talk and that they should have a re-think.

Looking at me, she told them, she still sees life .. a lot of life,

That if I didn’t want to go, my wishes should be respected and to stop giving me strife.

For it is out of life and from me, they got everything they desired,

But the one thing I desired was demonstrated by the waitress the restaurant had hired.

It takes a lifetime, to try to understand love, to try to know the unknowable,

If only we could look in to the future, maybe use a crystal ball.

Love was what I was searching for all this time, what we’re all chasing,

But Out of love, I will do what they ask … thinking that Life un-loved is not a life worth living.

– Paul e Valentine

______________________________________________________________

Cheers & ahoy!

The Old Cap’n Viking Pirate … & love of writing poems

Allow your mind to ”connect’ with infinite intelligence.
With consciousness.
It is like nothing you’ve ever experienced before.
An example of this: this poem I have just written which took me only 30 minutes

I. AM.
GOD?

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Reply

One way to know YOU is to understand God.
God is in you.
God is you.

The warrior of love 💓

– A poem : Reply–

Lord, give me the valour

To take risks

Not the high or extreme risks

With attached

Consequences

But the risks

The ones that I could avoid

The go for broke ones.

I need grit and bravery

Not just because I may fall

On my face

Or worse,

Being naked, exposed and vulnerable

To others

Should it happen

The viewers may say that he didn’t know what he was

doing or that he was just being foolish

In their eyes

I may be a failure

But

they do not know that it is a key to moving towards happiness

And

When it comes down to the crust of it, my Lord

I choose to be a failure in your eyes

I choose to be YOUR FAILURE

Before

Anyone else’s success.

For it is this failure that infuses

Me with vitality to keep on keeping on

Choosing to be your failure

Gives me strength and courage to keep that

Fire within.

To provide the light in the path that takes me to where I want to be

So, God, I ask you to help me from reneging

On choosing.

To succeed.

In life.

That will be –

Your..

My reply.

Cheers & ahoy!

The old Cap’n Viking Pirate … & thoughts of encouragement for all the under-dogs out there, put in poem form of life and risk taking

Is this you, too

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Variety is the spice of life?

With another woman.
A fan.

Well, I have a few questions: Are you a man with a “masculine sexual essence?“. Just another way to say – ‘are you a REAL MAN?”

Any man that is a REAL MAN, with a masculine sexual essence (we all have this) will almost inevitably DESIRE SEXUAL VARIETY. You have had thoughts, many thoughts of having sex with other women.

Am I right?

Even if you love your intimate partner (your wife or girlfriend). Even if you are completely committed to her, you will have thoughts…. and naturally want sexual occasions with other women. Now, we’ve heard that when a man is promiscuous, apparently it reveals that he is lacking intimacy at home. This, is absolutely, not true.

Your desire for other women is simply a reflection of your nature as a red-blooded Real Man.

Self-discipline is the one key characteristic of a winner that really makes habit changes happen.

Discrimination is good

This is where I believe discrimination is good. Helps us make choices.

You need to discriminate against these desires that has deep sources from childhood. You need to discriminate so that you know when to discipline yourself and say ‘no’.

There is only one of two choices that you need to make when faced with the decision to have sex or not have sex with another woman. Your choice will fundamentally, depend on your philosophy of life.

If you see having sex with as many women as you can as part of your purpose in your life, then, you’ll most likely pursue this route.

A ‘coaching conversation’ with Brad, while taking a rest break between exercise sets.
Helping Brad, help himself, achieve something he cares about and become more of who he wants to be.
Through belief, hope and effort + hear, within a tailored program, one can find ‘balance & symmetry’ that is vital to overall Peak Performance and being the Man You Can BE.
Self-discipline is key to any sustainable change.

Positive Self-discipline

Deciding not to have sex with other women but the woman you’re with requires discipline. Positive self-discipline does not mean self-suppression. No. Far from it.

Self-discipline is simply – practice!

Self-discipline ‘puts your money where your mouth is.”

Self-discipline begins where ‘lip service’ ends.

All other qualities such as positive self-awareness; positive self-esteem; positive self-control; positive self-motivation; positive self-image and so forth are absolutely worthless without self-discipline.

Self-discipline should not be seen as ‘doing without’ but instead should be viewed as “doing within’, because it is a mental practise. A mental practise based on repetition.

Explaining some of the finer points of training to Vicky during my ‘coaching conversations’ with my students.
Better athletes train smarter.

Seeing without seeing through simulation

I use a lot of ‘seeing with images’ and quite easily simulate. I’ve been doing this for many years and it is truly amazing how these images manifest itself in to my perception and ultimately, my reality.

The art of ‘seeing’ without seeing is an underrated skill and one you should apply to your life. Everything begins with your thought, so disciplining your thoughts of having sex with other women should be practised.

Why practise?

Because to develop your mental strength, you need to think like a winner, and strive to learn the art of simulation. A skill that champions and winners in all fields have mastered.

Practise does not make perfect. Perfect practise makes perfect.

Let’s keep it simple – remember, the simple format for learning a skill or habit (in this case, choosing to not have sex with another woman):

Desire
Information
Assimilation
Repetition

So, there you have it. Work on your self-discipline, beginning with your philosophy on life.

Nothing else but self-discipline can make or break a habit. Self-discipline, alone can make a permanent change in you.

Self-discipline is your key to controlling your desire to sleep with other women.

Enjoy the beauty and radiance of the other women that cross your path and discipline yourself to not act on your thoughts of sleeping with the woman. But, if that is part of your purpose in life, then go right ahead.

The former decision will surely not adversely affect you, your relationship with your wife, kids and family

Choose well, my friend.

Cheer & Ahoy!

The old Captain Viking Pirate … & saying no to thoughts of sleeping with other women with the tool of self-discipline.

Photo op with a local resident and her dog. Lovely.

A variation of the ‘back single biceps” pose … on the beach.
The combination of chaos + order = Life.
Find your balance. Find your beauty. Find your truth.

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Eating and drinking in excess this Christmas and New Year can help you lose weight – a lot of weight!

Muscle is precious. Build muscle then, do everything you can to preserve it.

Don’t believe everything you read, see and hear

Don’t believe the headline – eating and drinking in excess this Christmas will not help you lose weight!

But I am making a point as to how we can become needlessly fearful (because of all the conflicting views out there) of exercising with weights or eating certain foods or doing just about anything.

Everyone seems to have an ‘opinion’ these days with the proliferation of social media and a lot of these views have insufficient and inappropriate evidence (scientific) to back them up. This applies to almost everything, but especially, weight/fat loss and exercise and eating and drinking, because well, we all do these activities, more or less.

It seems that everyone is suddenly an expert.

Anyone can show how, by selectively citing some scientific research and blowing it all out of context, you can build a case for any argument, including the subject heading that I have used.

If you have a small amount of scientific nous, it is super easy for someone to give an opinion and by selectively citing some scientific research (based on some ridiculously small sample) and blowing it all out of context. You see this quite regularly on mainstream media as the ‘sensationalism’ of these stories sells ratings.

The thing is you should strive to not believe everything you read, see and hear. Manage your funnel better.

Have no doubt.
Help yourself first.
God will meet you half way …
he ALWAYS does.
All you ahve to do is: BELIEVE.

Key habit: Build muscle.

Below is the start of my view on fat loss and body re-engineering …

If you need to lose fat leading up to the festive season and summer (in some parts of the world – like Sydney, Australia) – build muscle. Naturally. Full stop!

There are countless weight-loss programs on the net and every where you go and read. Terrific for increasing awareness. However, fat-loss plans and weight-loss plans that don’t include strength training, fundamentally, rob the body of muscle.

Now, you don’t want to do something that robs the body of muscle because the process of ageing does this anyway. Ageing, is partly, by definition, the deterioration of muscles due to the reduction in protein synthesis.

Weight-training to build muscle ‘off-sets the on-set of ageing’. It is the potion of youth. It keeps people younger, longer. I know, because I have witnessed these people who seem to look and act five, ten, fifteen and twenty years younger.

The common denominator: they build muscle!

I love Chess growing up.
I beat the University Chess Champion once.
Life is like a game of chess …. you’ve got to learn to think many steps ahead … but also be able to ‘play what’s in front of you’
A delicate but necessary balance to succeed at anything in life for that matter
Become a better chess player of life

Train SMART. Live BETTER.

I’ve always told everyone I have ever helped over the last two decades that every kilogram of muscle is a fat burning dynamo! Yep, a fat-burning dynamo.

If you compare your body’s metabolism (the rate at which it ‘burns’ calories) to that of an engine of a car, when you build lean body mass (muscle), you increase the engine size and power of your body. Your car engine (metabolism) goes from, say, a 1.8l engine to a 4.0l or even an 8.0l engine over time.

Muscle loss reduces calorie requirements, makes fat loss more difficult, and creates increased obstacles to the maintenance of a lean body, once the excess fat has been lost.

Fundamentally, your ‘life-force’ (or vitality) will be sucked out of you and you will literally feel like cr&p! Every single minute of every single day. Now, why would you or anyone for that matter want to feel like that every single day. I could and still can’t understand why people still do this to themselves. Instead of doing ‘life-affirming’ actions, they instead do ‘life destroying’ actions.

Not smart. Not sustainable.

Put simply, and to sum up – always remember, to help maintain a lean body, build muscle. To do this you need to Train SMART. Live Better.

It is as simple as that!

However, like some philosopher once said, “the easy things are also the hardest things to do”.

Don’t think. Do!

So, don’t think. Do!

If you can dream and imagine a much more improved physical version of you and believe in executing a plan to get you there, by all means go for it!

With 8 x Mr Olympia – “The King”, Ronnie Coleman. Now, this man built and carried on his frame an unbelievable amount of muscle – 300lbs worth of it!

And don’t worry if you have never entered a gym in your life or you haven’t done anything since your late teens or early twenties. It is never too late to start.

Regardless of your age, or how out of condition you may think you are at present, I believe it is never too late to start an exercise program. The power to decide rests in your hands (literally when you start lifting weights in a gym to help the person in the mirror – YOU).

You can transform your fitness and muscle strength at any age, along with your appearance, and health. I believe this is important because from my observations as a coach over the years, when people’s image improves, their performances improves too. Feeling good about yourself is an important part of being a well-balanced human being.

Make that choice – for you or a loved one. Make that choice to help you so that you can enjoy not just a long life but a good quality life by lowering the risks of early on-set of age-related physical and mental diseases. Respect and love the most important person in the world to you – YOU, first.

That way, by default, everyone gets the best of you, too.

You have one life, make the most of it all the best in the choices you make. No one else can make them for you, so choose well.

5 key areas to manage your living better … for better balance in your life

To assist in the quality of your life right now, consider improving on these 5 key areas to manage your living better – for better balance in your life:

Eat – well composed, portioned meals, more frequently. If it is green leaf (and not a frog), include it in your meals.
Water – drink adequate levels of water daily. An average adult should aim for 3L per day.
Move – a combination of weight training, cardio and stretching done two to three times per week.
Enjoy yourself – don’t forget to have fun and laugh at least once a day.
Socially engage with your community in person.
Get, learn and apply the basics (of life) right so that YOU can ….

Muscle is precious. Build muscle, then do everything you can possibly to do to preserve what you have. You will thank your lucky and wise stars as you age.

Don’t accelerate the ageing process as age does it for you anyway. Build muscle, as if your life depended on it (and it does). Build muscle as it is your personal preventative insurance against age-related diseases as your life ticks on … tick, tock, tick, tock!

Then, watch your energy, mental state and vitality soar to new heights and ….

Live, really live.

Until next time,

Cheers & ahoy!

The old Cap’n Viking Pirate Evangelist Muscled Monk … & managing your weight during Christmas festive season and beyond

Be the best you can be for you, first, then by default, everyone gets the best of you.
Vv.

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Learn to be more coachable.

Learn the basics of exercise in the gym. Learn to be more coachable – learn the rules so you know how to use them better in the future. This applies to most rules in life.
Vv.

My gym experience has taught me a lot about people, about human nature. I love observing human behaviour in action, it fascinates me.

As most of you would agree, there is no doubt that people are different. We are all different and unique but we also are more alike than we like to think. We are all wired differently and that wiring lends itself to certain skills, environments and roles rather than other skills, environments and roles.

Some people find it very difficult to change. Some people need to learn to be more coachable, if they are to achieve their full potential and avoid some of the mistakes other people and previous generations have made.

There was this member of the gym I used to own for a number of years that was very stuck in his ways of training. I always tried questioning him on why he did things the way he did and he was very inflexible to learning something different. An alternative.

His reason: he had been training with weights for longer than me and he didn’t have anything to learn. Fair enough. I did not want to force him to stop doing harm to himself but I felt it was my role and duty of care to point out the potential risks he was putting himself and others in the gym, now and in to the future.

This a story about how too much of a good thing can be bad for you and relates to one particular exercise: the wide chin-up exercise.

Let’s call this individual “Dave”.

You see, he loved doing chin-ups. Some of you may know it as ‘pull-ups’. He loved it so much he did it every time he came to the gym for his ‘session’. He came to the gym about four times per week. He really loved doing very wide chin-ups and prided himself on lifting an additional 40kg dumbbell hanging from his waist for reps. He was certainly strong. He was very dedicated.

The one major drawback with his weight-training sessions was the fact that he loved doing chin-ups so much. Now, there’s nothing wrong with having a favourite exercise and this exercise is a great one.

Learn the rules of life. Learn the rules of training in the gym. Learn to be more coachable to manage your ‘risk:benefit ratio’ in life.
Vv.

However, one should always be aware of doing that particular activity too often as it increases one’s risk of injury. And this is exactly what happened to our poor friend Dave. As we have all been told over the years – “too much of a good thing can be bad for you”.

I had a great chin-up bar. Matter-of-fact, I had another installed beside the original just because men had different size hands and preferred varying grips. It was a winner – for Dave and for every other enthusiast.

At the very start of his relationship with me, I gave him a piece of advice regarding his training regime that was rejected stubbornly every year for five years, before his accident.

Yes, he did have an accident.

My piece of advice was: don’t overdo an exercise.

I told him that he should probably cut back on the frequency of his chin-ups (doing it every day, every week for the whole year) to consider doing it in one workout every fortnight, that he should consider doing the many other exercise options available that would target the same muscles that chin-ups did but with minimal risk to his joints.

Minimising potential risks to his tendons and ligaments around the elbow joints. I basically tried to tell him to give his joints more rest and recovery, which in turn would probably see him spur on more muscle growth than what he was used to.

I suggested the traditional “Lat Pull-down” machine. A perfect alternative and there were a few ways of doing this exercise too.

That was unacceptable to him. Period!

He said that only ‘sissies’ did the exercise. I couldn’t believe he said that, calling everyone who ever did machine lat pull-downs a ‘sissy’, including me! I reminded him of some of the best backs built over time due partly to machine lat pull-downs. They used the machine lat pull-downs religiously!

He didn’t want to hear it. He was happy doing what he was doing and had been doing all his life. We went through this same conversation at least once every year. Me warning him about the excessive nature of his exercise choice of chin-ups and the damage he was potentially doing to his elbows further down the track.

Dave wasn’t open to other ideas, he did not want to be coached.

Anyway, in his fifth year of training in my gym, Dave went missing from the gym for about a month. I called up to see if he was ok like I did for anyone of the hundreds of members that I didn’t see for more than four weeks.

He returned to see me in the gym the next day.

A mentor told me once – “no one cares how much you know until they know how much you care.
Me & former client -Glenn. One ☝️ of the hundreds of members of my Family Gym I once owned & managed for 7 years. They came because I cared. I gave them “results with care” (my slogan)

He wasn’t able to train in the gym, in particular he couldn’t use his arms without experiencing excruciating pain through the elbows. All pushing and pulling movements were no longer possible. He basically couldn’t train and he wasn’t coping with this lack of activity very well and didn’t know what to do.

Dave felt a little embarrassed and admitted it was one of the biggest training mistakes he had ever made – not listening to my little piece of advice over the previous five years. The high risk of injury I had made him aware of every year for five years had manifested and now he couldn’t do the exercise he loved to do but even worse, he also couldn’t train. Period!

He was a mess. Physically, emotionally, spiritually. He needed help.

I sat him down and let him rest his head on my shoulder. I said it was alright to cry. All grown men have a license to cry. He did just that.

I told him to forget about the past but to learn from it. I gave him two options to help him make his way back to where he was but I needed him to listen and let go of prior beliefs regarding training.

He needed to set new beliefs. He needed to understand and introduce a new paradigm. He needed to learn to be more coachable and unlearn some irrelevant old habits. He was going to have to accept the guy that looked back at him in the mirror now – not twenty years ago in his youth.

He needed to be agreeable. Kinder to himself. He needed to love himself more.

He did.

He learned to do this after almost twenty five years of training in the gym. Yes, he was training and gaining a lot of ‘experience’ but it was not getting him anywhere. He was just getting more and more experience of getting it wrong.

Not good. He trained mainly with his ego and did not leave it at the door each time he walked in to the gym. Does not get you anywhere and generally leads to disaster as his case showed.

I devised a plan of recovery for him and he got back the use of his arms, particularly his elbows. As the pain sub-sided and he started exercising after a little while, his whole demeanour and life improved.

True Leaders develop Leaders.
Here we have former Australian Rugby Wallaby Captain – Mr Phil Waugh, allowing himself to be led and coached to help him, help himself … find his best self.
Leaders have belief, they have faith but most importantly … they have hope.
That tomorrow will be better than today.

As you know, ‘knowing is one thing, doing is another.’ A wise man once told me that ‘elephants don’t bite, mosquitoes do!”. It really does apply in this case and in many things in life, where too much of a good thing can be bad for you.

Dave did not take care of the mozzies (like the frequency of performing the exercise) and as a result, the compound effect of incorrect technique combined with unnecessary frequency leads to unwanted joint injury.

The message in this story could apply to all areas of life where too much of a good thing (chin-ups for Dave) can be bad for you. Dave learned the hard way and didn’t want to learn from other people’s experience. He didn’t allow himself to be coached. It takes courage to understand your faults but it takes even more courage to make changes to help prevent a huge mis-hap later.

Life is short. There are rules in the gym and gym training, just like there are rules of life. Learn the rules, so that in time you can have the wisdom to discern what is relevant and not.

Live life with quality and integrity and live it to the fullest. Know yourself and be true to yourself.

Have fun with your workouts and have fun with life.

Learning HOW to exercise with proper technique is paramount to achieving your goals with Maximum gains/benefit & lower risks of injury/failure
Be more coachable snd find yourself a suitably qualified & experienced coach in the area you hope to improve in.

Until next time,

a better life, adaptation, ageing, attitude, awareness, beauty, belief, Beliefs, better choices, caring, change, children, choices, christian, compassion, consciousness, courage, dads love, Dying, Energy, examined life, forgiveness, game of life, genuineness, God, grace, gratitude, happiness, hope, Imagination, life, long-term perspective, love, parenthood, parenting, patience, perseverance, perspective, real man, relationships, respect, self, self love, self-respect, son, success, truth, Vitality, you, your life

Dying to Live.

Die to Live.
Vv.

Life is a gift.

One of the most precious things to me is that first breath I take when I wake in the morning. It reminds me that I am alive and that life is a gift. A gift from God.

I breathe that first breath and silently say a thank you to God for giving me an extra day and then hop out of bed thinking “now, who am I going to help today?!”.

And off I go.

I will die someday, and so will you. And that is a good thing.

My son. A gift 💝 from Life.

Knock on your doorstep.

You see everyone dies but not everyone lives, really lives. Everyone should be dying to live. Yes, that’s right – DYING TO LIVE!

Knowing that we will die someday should allow you to live each and every day as if it were your last because you never know when that last day will knock on your doorstep.

My biological mum died in 2011.

She had a tough life, partly of her own doing and I remember seeing her in her last days, her body laced with cancer, laying in her hospital bed, waiting to die ….

A truly sad but life-affirming sight for a courageous human being.

I sat by her bed-side and asked her many questions, questions I had never asked before. I asked her about death and whether she was afraid of dying. She said “no’, that she was in God’s hands.

Strange, but a month before she died, my son, Zachary was born. Aaaahhh … the “Circle of Life”. Life gives and … life takes.

My daughter . A gift 💝 from life.

The most contented person I’ve ever known.

When I reflect on that experience I realize that she knew God. She had seen the first and the last, the beginning and the end. She knew and believed who had made her and who had redeemed (and saved her). She also knew who was going to take her back (her soul/spirit), back to himself – her broken body notwithstanding.

My mum didn’t die alone in a room. No, she had a room filled with close church-goers to keep her company every day and set her off to God. She was in constant physical pain. I felt real pain seeing and hearing her suffer – in person and on the phone.

But, you know what the strange thing was (and I still find it quite odd) that by world’s standards and every day standards, this woman who was my mum, who was in such great pain – this woman was the most contented person I had ever known.

I teach my kids many things and they teach me too. Two things they’ve taught me is:
1) be more patient
2) never giving up (when they try to get chocolate for example … with all sorts of ways until they get it)

The beauty of life.

Some people may have said that she had lost touch with reality at that time in order to protect herself against the pain of cancer. I believe, however, that she had got in touch with reality in a way that few of us ever do, and had seen it’s beauty… The beauty of life.

So, what does this say about dying?

I’m not sure.

There are so many views of dying but my experience with my mum’s taught me something. If we turned life around, I think that dying (and the realising that we will all die some day) is one of the things that help us understand what living is.

I watched quite a few extended family members die over the years. I saw their’s and others’ pain (including mine). From this I learned one thing about death and that is that dying hurts. Dying hurts both those who die and those who are left behind, who will also die when their turn comes.

I witnessed this hurt in my wife’s eyes and words at her grandmother’s funeral late last year. She was very close to her and I loved her dear grandmother too. I particularly miss her grandfather, who I had a great relationship with. You could say – everything comes to an end … eventually, I guess.

But, I also like to believe that dying may be the beginning of something rather than the end….

The last time I communicated with my mum, she could only murmur sounds, nothing that I could understand. I told her that she shouldn’t worry and that I will join her someday soon. She just had to wait a little longer.

So, project yourself forward to when you are taking your last few breaths and you reflect on your life. Understand that you, we – all die because we have lived. So, choose to live, to have really lived.

To think 🤔 is the most difficult thing to do. Exercise for the brain 🧠 is as important for the brain as it is for the body.

We live in order to know and love the God who made us.

To die is, to some extent, to become more real in this sorrowful world.

You, me, every one of us should be dying to live.

So, grab life with both hands, give it a little shake, say thank you and choose to LIVE IT!

Choose well.

Until next time,

Having fun with a star jump!
Live each day like you are dying to live.
Vv.

Her heart ❤️ belongs to me … for now.

a better life, accountability, action, anger, anger management, awareness, balance, Beliefs, breaking points, care empathy, choices, ego, Energy, game of life, hulk, Leader, leadership, life, love, man, manners, patience, real man, relationships, respect, responsibility, risk, self discipline, self improvement, self love, self-respect, taking action, trust, you, your life

When to unleash your “HULK”.

The “Most Muscular” (HULK) pose in the sport of Body-building.
Roaarrr!!!

We all get angry now and then.

That’s something everyone reading this blog and every citizen of the world have in common. I have always been fascinated with the Marvel Universe characters, one of which is the “Hulk”. To a little extent, I like to imagine that every person has a super-hero in them. That we all have some superhero power.

In this blog, I would argue that there is a Hulk in every one of us.

What’s important is not that we all have that Hulk that could awaken at a moment’s notice but that we get better at managing that Hulk – that anger. Knowing when to unleash your Hulk.

You see, in dealing with thousands of people of all ages in all walks of life in more than two decades in the gym environment, one of the observations I have made is that different people use anger to hide different feelings. The interesting thing is that a lot of times a lot of people don’t know the real reason they are angry.

Think about you when you get angry. Do you use anger to cover different emotions at different times?

Having children brings out the best in every parent and I think many, if not all parents reading this would agree. This includes the best of ‘anger’ too. Having children teaches you many things, one of which is patience and your tolerance for it. “Zachary, can you stop kicking the car seat please!” and then a few minutes later … “For the hundredth time, Zachary, stop kicking the car seat please!”.

Your patience is constantly tested by your children as you do your best to control that lever that releases the Hulk or anger. It is a daily constant battle at times.

Two principles of building muscle: 1) Simplicity and 2} Continuity.
Become aware; Apply action: Adapt accordingly.

In this phase of his life, my son’s curiosity encourages him to push limits – push beyond his own physical, mental and emotional limits and also push us – my wife and I, beyond our limits too. An interesting phase in our lives to say the least.

I have learned that, as parents, we MUST be permissive to our children’s feelings while setting limits to their action, when appropriate. One of the problems most, if not, all parents face is: when to use discipline and when to GIVE IN; when to be firm and when to be easy; when to give TOUGH LOVE and when to show CARE AND EMPATHY.

At one point or another, we all find ourselves asking ourselves the question: “Is this the moment to be accepting and empathise so that my child will not be afraid of his feelings?” or “should I put my foot down so he understands that he cannot get away with this?”

What I have found is that there are NO SET RULES TO FOLLOW.

Each situation must be handled separately but this is not as difficult as it sounds.

As an owner of a gym for 7 years, I found myself constantly resolving conflicts – conflicts between members, conflicts between members and their family members, internal conflicts of members and conflicts in general. What I found was that the first response I chose to a situation SET THE TONE for how traumatically an event will be taken. I have also found that this is a very good approach to keep in mind when dealing with children too.

It seems to work with my ability to manage conflicts with my two kids.

When one of my children is hurting, I have found that compounding it by reacting with angry words or action (and letting the HULK out) does not add to the solution. Instead, responding with initial softness and empathy, helps more. I think it allows the child to see that if me or my wife (Dad or mum) aren’t panicking, maybe, just maybe, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

The philosophy you follow heavily influences whether you achieve your goals in life or not.

Where does this ability to be permissive and initiate softness and keep from panicking come from? It comes from WITHIN. The same place the HULK lies dormant. It is a choice. It is a choice that is made by you, the parent, in the good times – the quiet times. That is the best time. The best time to decide on how you respond to a child’s mis-behaviour.

Because if you didn’t decide on such an approach/response or similar, then chaos would prevail and anger or the Hulk will be default system you will react on. There isn’t time to think about ways to prevent a fire, in the MIDDLE OF A FIRE!

If you’re religious, you will believe that GOD works all things unto good.

So, when difficulty first happens, don’t lecture your children, panic or commence scolding. Allowing them to feel the hurt, the anger and initially responding to their behaviour with calm comforting lays an important foundation. A foundation that will allow them to find value in their experience.

Yes, it is much easier to just release the HULK, but it takes a lot of strength to keep it at bay. Calmness comes from within. For you Christians or members of other religious denominations reading this, calmness comes from God’s word. For those of you not so religiously inclined, think of this calmness as being already a part of you. Part of your “inner-self”.

THERE IS A TIME AND PLACE FOR GENUINE, APPROPRIATE ANGER. There is a time and place to let the HULK out. For instance, most of us would respond to injustice and cruelty with anger. Healthy anger can be channelled towards constructively making our world a better place to live in. Healthy anger can be transmuted when one trains with weights. This is one of the un-sung benefits of weight-training with moderate to heavy weights. When executed properly, negative energy (anger) is transmuted through the iron and replaced with a charge of positive energy and vitality.

Anger or the HULK, when released with the appropriate intensity and direction is very positive and a good thing. This is partly because painful trials or conflicts that challenge the threat of the release of our anger/the HULK, produces something encouraging. It produces maturity and growth.

This maturity and growth ultimately leads to LOVE.

Your challenge: become better at controlling the Hulk within. Don’t be afraid to let it out and work on becoming increasingly aware of when to unleash your Hulk. But, only release your Hulk – when appropriate, and with a proportional response.

Roaarrrrr!!!

Until next time,

a better life, action, adaptation, adequate sleep, ageing, awareness, balance, belief systems, Beliefs, better choices, care empathy, caring, change, change management, children, choices, compassion, creation, dads, dads love, daughters, Energy, examined life, game of life, God, habits, kids, life, long-term perspective, mind, needs, parenting skills, perseverance, relationships, responsibility, self discipline, self improvement, self love, self-respect, sleep, Vitality, you, your life

I am.

My young gritty Viking Pirate Prince already getting in touch with his “feminine side’ and enjoying beauty – in cars, watches, buildings … and others
He has the best coach in the world at his disposal.

A Restful mind in Sleep is a peace of Mind.

Sleep consumes one third of our lives. Yet, most people know little about this daily excursion into our inner world. The exact functions of sleep and dreaming have been debated over the ages but are still not really known.

Sometimes we all find it difficult to fall asleep when we want to, laying there staring at the ceiling, tossing and turning.

Feeling restless.

You may have too much on your mind or not much at all. You may be over-tired or you may not be. You may simply feel restless even though you seek restfulness. For whatever reason, we all find it difficult to fall asleep when we want to. Sometimes.

Some of us, more than others.

I AM.

I. AM.
GOD?

I play many games with my children. They keep evolving. I like to think I do, too.

One particular game I play with my kids is one I call “I AM”.

You see my son has had problems for a while now falling asleep in his bed. As a result my wife and I take multiple trips to and from his room to try and settle him to sleep at night. Most of the time we just let him sleep in our bed. Most of the time he gets away with it. Until not too long ago, I introduced the game to him.

“What’s the name of the game, daddy?” asked my son Zachary.

I said it was called “I am”.

“How do you play it?” asks Zach.

I told him that the objective of the game was for him to say “I am” to every question I asked him. Only that phrase but with a few conditions for him to adhere to:

Lay still
Look me in the eyes
Whisper the answer “I am”

It’s been successfully implemented on almost every night I put my son to sleep. He doses off to sleep as he repeats the answer of “I am” to every question I ask him, most of the time with a little smile on his face.

Every time.

I thought up this game for two main reasons:

To get him to fall asleep with improved regularity and with minimum resistance
To condition his neuro-wiring as a foundation for his strength of mind

My gritty Warrior Viking Pirate 🏴‍☠️ prince 🤴

I know reason number 1 has been achieved so far.

As modern neuroscience confirms sleep (including napping) is critical for the health of your brain and you as a human being. Brain health, neurotransmitter release and sleep are intimately entwined. Studies suggesting that psychiatric disorder and neurodegenerative disease are often connected to some form of sleep/circadian rythym disruption.

So, work on improving your sleep patterns and focus on quality of sleep rather than quantity for your overall health.

Responsible for transmission of critical electrical, chemical & hormonal messages -internal communication

Who’s daddy’s … ?

I will know if reason number 2 is achieved in about 10 years and probably for the rest of his life. Time will tell the fruitfulness of this game that will ultimately be for his benefit.

The questions I ask him are repeated and are quite similar to these:

Who’s daddy’s smartest boy? …. And he would say … “I am”.
Who’s daddy’s kindest boy?
Who’s daddy’s strongest boy?
Who’s daddy’s fastest boy?
Who’s daddy’s caring boy?
Who’s daddy’s happiest boy?
Who’s daddy’s loving boy?
etc

Zachary would fall asleep answering “I am” to every question some of which I repeat. My daughter Olivia, who is two years older does not have problems falling asleep but I also play the game with her.

She loves it. Calms her down even further.

A “sense” of who they are is learned from the first man of significant influence in their lives –
us. Dads.

The power sitting dormant in your subconscious mind.

Just like the many other universal principles in life like for example, water seeks its own level or that matter expands when heated. It is a universal truth that whatever you impress on your subconscious mind is expressed in the physical realm.

It is akin to saying a prayer and your prayer is answered because your subconscious mind is principle. Like all principles, the facts are universal and unchangeable. It is just the way things operate.

Not sometimes. All of the time.

True?
Neuroscience is still at the level of where medicine was in the 1700s
A long way to fully understand who we are….
Who “I AM.”

The Power of Belief.

The subconscious mind works according to the law of belief. The Bible and probably most other religious texts is littered with examples of the power of belief.

I see my children’s minds as a bed of rich soil that will grow whatever types of seeds I plant and intend to grow. I believe in the power of prayer and the law of belief and why this game of “I am” aims to sow thoughts of happiness, goodwill, right action and success in my children’s minds.

Believe or not believe.
Get your ass off the pole of the fence (stop sitting on the fence!)
Choose.

Hopefully, the magic of the ‘compound effect’, like compound interest on a loan or investment … with time, these wonderful seeds of thought in the garden of their minds, will reap a generous harvest for them.

I have always believed that “the world within creates the world without”. This is a truth and there is a definite link between the subconscious and your conscious minds. As I have discovered in my life, and part of my line of work in helping others achieve their best and their goals – the subconscious mind is very sensitive to your conscious mind.

I learned something from my grandfather when I was very young – that nothing can stop you or anyone … but all is as thinking that makes it so.

Watch your thoughts, I say.

Learning and absorbing our habits every single day of their initial phase of their lives is what our young Princes do.
Teach them well.

Learn and apply the most important & powerful LINK.

Having a deeper understanding of this link gives you the power to help accomplish your goals. It is effectively praying and communicating to God.

Believe or not believe.

Prayers always get answered but you have to be a believer. This unwavering belief happens to be the law of the mind.

You have to believe in belief itself!

I will assist in being the captain of their ship in their early years of life, helping them navigate their conscious mind with the understanding that their young subconscious minds will take and accept as true what they confirm in their ‘I am” answers before falling asleep.

A ‘sick day’ from school day for us here, 4 years ago now.
Enjoying the entertainment at Sydney’s beautiful Luna Park.
I never let schooling interfere with my or my family’s education.

Simple is uncomplicating Beauty.

“I am”: a very simple, yet powerful affirmation of nobody else but – ‘you’. An affirmation of the communication from your conscious mind to your subconscious mind. It is simple, yet complex … and Un-complicating of Real Beauty.

A prayer. Repeated.

Beauty comes in the human form.
It is a living masterpiece.
On display, from a masterful poser/artist, the human body exemplifies beauty and truth rolled in to vibrating ball of flow of muscle.
The hard part is to CREATE beauty. We all have the ability within us.
To create a beauty through the human form is genius.
Providing the scaffolding for your childs(ren) character building towards a ‘beautiful character’ is like sculpturing a great physique.
Everything matters, however, small it is.
GIGO for their minds:
If you want to create champions and leaders , feed them daily champion & leadership thoughts.

Try it, see how you feel after a month.

Try this game with your kids and see if it helps with their sleeping. Try it for a month. The main benefit however, is in the strengthening of the mind. Just like building good quality muscles you have got to be persistent and consistent with daily application of the relevant principles.

You could even try it with older kids (adults) too. Maybe even you. Just change the affirmation questions and find a quiet time and place (preferably just before falling asleep) and create a better you.

Create a better life from within starting with “I am”.

The old Cap’n Viking Pirate.
Me, a Simple-complex Man.

Remember: you reap (your destiny) what your sow (your seeds of thought).

Until next time,

Cheers & Ahoy!!

The Old Cap’n Viking Pirate … & thoughts and words on belief, subconscious mind and I am.

The Brain 🧠.
The mind.
I AM.

adaptation, awareness, better choices, bodyweight, choices, diet, eating, Energy, game of life, gym, habit, habits, life, long-term perspective, long-term strategy, mind, muscles, responsibility, self discipline, self improvement, self love, self-respect, truths, you, your life

Eating Right actually takes less time than you think: Tip # 4.

Tip # 4: Take your Nuts with you, wherever you go!

Total estimated time taken out of your day = approx. 10 minutes (as detailed in my previous blogs) –

Represented by:

Time to perform Tip # 1= 5 min

Time to perform Tip # 2 = 3 min

Time to perform Tip # 3 = 2 min

So, hopefully you are trying to incorporate the first 3 tips I have shared with you in my previous blogs. Also, hopefully, you are slowly being convinced about my subject heading.

With this tip (#4), adding nuts to your day is a fantastic ‘snack’ option. Like I have mentioned in a previous blog, ‘snack’ does not need to be a euphemism for junk food. Snacking can be healthy too and should be encouraged for many good reasons.

What do you need to do?

Eat nuts but don’t go nuts on it!

All you need is a handful. Actually, we all have different size hands so I will be more specific – eat less than or equal to 30g of nuts. Some good nuts to choose from include: walnuts, almonds, cashews, peanuts and macadamias.

Quick snacks on the run should still ideally provide high-quality protein with a controlled amount of carbohydrate. This handful roughly provides between 4g and 7g of Protein and Carbohydrates and vary from nut to nut.

Time taken to perform this Tip # 4 in the mornings is approximately 1 minute. Yep, only 60 seconds. So, the running total for the 4 tips so far is approximately equal to 11 minutes. Eleven minutes out of your busy day!

Just to eat right.

A good snack. Berries are a wonderfully tasteful treat.

Good Fats.
My aim is to show you how my Top Ten Tips to eating right should take you less than 30 minutes of your day. Why is this eating tip worth your time and of great value to your body, you may ask?

Well, it provides ‘good fats’ to your body. Yep, not all fats are ‘bad’, but you know that. Your body needs fats to survive and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. There are some vital minerals and vitamins that are fat soluble only.

For example, vitamins A, D, E and K are some such vitamins. So, these essential vitamins are only assimilated in to your body as nutrients in the presence of fat.

Even for those of you reading this blog that have started or are planning to commence your ‘get fit for summer’ training program, understand that losing fat is assisted when you provide the body with fat. Good fats, that is.

That’s correct – you need fat to burn fat!

Good fats provide many benefits such as omega – 3 fatty acids that elevates good cholesterol or High Density lipo-proteins (HDL). Why is this important? Well, this lowers your risk of heart disease as blood is more malleable, that is, blood is made thinner, hence flows better to keep you alive.

Good fats from nuts also provide joint protection. This is vital for those of you who work out in the gym with weights – like me. Having nuts in your diet allows better recuperation for inflamed joints, stiffness and swelling. You’ve got to be nuts not to include them in your diet after reading this.

It should also be noted that these good fats are found in cold water fish such as salmon, tuna and mackerel and plant-based foods such as flaxseeds and soyabeans. Reach out and grab them and add these sources to your diet.

To dig deep, you have to dig deep.

Nuts come in many sizes.

The average person does not eat adequate daily amounts of these good fats, probably less than 1g per day. Carrying around two or three servings of nuts with you in your busy day does not take much time to consider and provides great value to your body, mind and vitality.

Nuts come in many sizes but are essentially small and convenient enough to eat ‘on the run’. Here’s an old Uni riddle: What do you call nuts on a wall? Yep, walnuts. So go for walnuts. There’s no excuse!

We’re on track to prove that Eating right actually takes less time than you think. So far, a grand total of 11 minutes out of your day to apply my Top Four of my Top Ten Tips to get you in Tip-Top Shape this summer.

You’re now Aware. Apply Action. Adapt accordingly.

My Triple A philosophy to self-development.

Thank you for reading.

Until next time,

Do you strive to better yourself in every way?
Are you a Leader?

Changing lives. Empowering people. One life at a time.

Triple A to Life: Awareness. Action. Adaptation.

Category Archives: self love

Don’t chase the unchaseable

A Poem – Out of Love

Reply

Variety is the spice of life?

Eating and drinking in excess this Christmas and New Year can help you lose weight – a lot of weight!

Learn to be more coachable.

Dying to Live.

When to unleash your “HULK”.

I am.

Eating Right actually takes less time than you think: Tip # 4.