adaptation, awareness, belief systems, Beliefs, change, courage

Nobody can teach you WHO YOU ARE.

Who are you?

Yes, who are YOU?

Have you asked yourself that question? Yes, maybe once, twice, countless times or maybe never.

From when we are children, most of us have already been asked the question about “what we want to become”.

Right from a young age most of us have had the question fired at us. “Son/daughter what do you want to become when you’re older – a doctor, a lawyer, a fireman, an engineer, a carpenter … ?”

Most of us are brought up in a culture that tells us “you are what you do.”

In my 23 years in the gym and talking to thousands of people, I have found that when people are asked “tell me about yourself”, most people immediately talk about their career as if it was the ‘be all and end all’ about them. A complete definition of ‘who and what they are.’

I think there should be a clear distinction between who the person is and the activity they perform as part of their ‘job’. We’re all just individuals and we’re all doing something. But that something should not define who we are. That is only a small part of who we are, who YOU ARE.

It is important that you never forget that YOU are more important than what you do.


Keep working towards discovering the REAL YOU. Not the YOU that your career defines you as or the YOU that you work very hard to fulfil others’ perceptions of you. Find the real YOU. That is a journey indeed. A journey in to the heart of darkness as the great author Joseph Conrad described so eloquently.

You need to constantly build on the first ‘A” of my Triple A Approach to Life and Whole-self development and that is to increase ‘Awareness’. Awareness of no one else but YOU, of your SELF. I believe that this is the first step towards any worthwhile, sustainable personal development – to be more aware.

You will find that the more aware you become, more and more of your problems and most of the stress in your life will dissolve too. But, there is a price to pay to develop this awareness. A great thinker once said that “Awareness, in and of itself, is transformative.” This is almost spiritual-like, as you ‘clean up your own act you find that you build a profound effect on the world around you.

You see, there is a connection – a definite nexus between ‘what you do inside and what happens in your life’ and when you work on increasing your awareness, you are forced to consider and question your belief system and various beliefs that comprise it. Some of which had been adopted by you as a choice or without a choice when you were growing up. These beliefs helped form your perception of reality. Your version of ‘the truth’. You kept these beliefs because in kept you safe in your family while growing up.

But times change. You grow up. Those beliefs which influence the way you feel and behave attract certain situations and people in to your life and what situations and people you become attracted to. So, it follows that what you BELIEVE generates most of what happens in your life. When you work at increasing your awareness of YOU, you will come to this conclusion too.

So, my point is this, by increasing your awareness, you will question certain beliefs that may have served you well when you were a kid up until you were 10 years old but does not serve your purposes now, TODAY. It kept you safe or you felt a sense of security when you hung on to these beliefs in your family when you were child.

Here’s the thing, I have found that with increased awareness, you are able to LET GO certain beliefs but you have got to be brave to do so because it is difficult. Matter of fact it is one of the scariest things to do if you’re not used to it. Letting go a belief takes a lot of courage and you have to summon up the courage to do it if you are serious about getting the best out of your life.

“Why?” you may be asking, “should we LET GO these beliefs?”

Well, its simple: because you CANNOT keep believing something that DOES NOT serve you! That is one possible definition of insanity.

But don’t rush it. We’re all at different levels of awareness so go easy on yourself. It takes some time and practice to get good at it, just like anything else, for example we’re all at different levels in our training in the gym when it comes to lifting weights and building muscle.

So, if you accept that what you believe generates most of what happens in your life, and if you don’t like attracting the same kinds of situations or people in to your life then you have got to let go of those ‘self-limiting beliefs’ that are holding you back.

A lot of the price you have to pay to create your new perception of reality is: YOUR ATTITUDE and you are 100% totally responsible for that, aren’t you?

There is no doubt that what you pay attention to determines a lot of what happens in your life. True indeed. So, with an attitude of gratitude make a decision to pay attention to or FOCUS on what you want from life, not what you don’t want.

When I was in my teens , I saw the world with a different philosophy to the way I see the world in my twenties and it was different still in my thirties. My picture of the world and my definition of truth has changed considerably. The ‘truth’ as we see it is really our version of the world based on our beliefs and belief systems.

They, however, don’t necessarily have anything TO DO WITH THE TRUTH. They are versions of the truth. Not absolute truth, only relative truth.

Therefore, if truth is relative and does not have 100% certainty, DO NOT FEAR letting go self-limiting beliefs – beliefs that DO NOT SERVE YOU well, anymore. Accept that if ‘the truth’ changes and is dynamic, not static then there is no need to remain RIGID in your beliefs that feed the truth.

There are not many certainties in life but one thing I know with a high degree of certainty is that EVERYTHING CHANGES.


So go with the flow and so be like water and be fluid and flexible with your beliefs and find the REAL YOU, who you ARE, what your real needs are (as opposed to the things you just want) and when you are living according to your REAL needs (somewhat achieved through spiritual growth).

That is probably a point where you will teach yourself more of WHO YOU ARE.

Nobody, I repeat – NOBODY can teach you who you are …. But the REAL YOU!

All the best in your decision.

Until next time,



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