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Adam needed Eve.

My son and I.
Time with your children will be one of the most important investments you will ever make in your life.
Choose to make it.

Not sure what you remember about the start of the greatest stories that were ever told but I do remember the story of the creation. Matter of fact my kids pick a story each night before bed from the bible and inevitably, they choose the story of the garden of eden at least once a month.

Adam and Eve was part of this creation story.

Most of you will know that.

One version of the beginning of life as we know it involved a man and a woman, created by God. Adam, on his own, I believe would not have worked. It may have lasted short-term at best. You and I may not have come in to existence.

It is evident Adam needed Eve!

Operating alone in life is a little unnatural. What do you think? Wasn’t there a philosopher that stated once that –

“no man is an island”. There is some truth in this.

Okay, your definition of what is natural and unnatural may be different to mine and that is fine.

I think that is how most of life should be operated – a collaboration between a man and woman, between men and women, whether it be in the corporate world on in every-day life. However, it appears that most of life has been structured in such a way that it is biased to the comfort and convenience of men.

Made for men. By men.

But I believe that the system that has worked for centuries – a system that was and has been dictated by men, for the convenience of men, may become extinct in the near future. The industrial age, the one that established our schooling, our work day, our economy and our expectations and dreams is dying.

I believe it is dying but it dying faster than you and I think but there is evidence all around us of this funeral. Look around at the various industries – the music industry, the media outlets, newspapers and journalism to name a few.

And I think that is a good thing for man-kind.

The system and protocols set up for society, for the convenience and comfort of men, whilst excellent for the Industrial Era is not appropriate for now and the future.

My son made me aware of this not too long ago.

You see, we tried to get him to go to early music lessons taught by one of the Sydney (and Australia’s) best early child-hood music teachers when he was about 3. Turned out, he was a very different child in those classes. I couldn’t understand why we couldn’t reason with him.

From the moment he entered that room, he took on a different personality – a very difficult personality. I felt that the room somehow triggered this abnormal behaviour. You see, Zachary is a little bit of a ‘stirrer’ by nature but this half hour of music was very difficult for either Cathy, my wife or me. We tried many things to manage his behaviour but nothing seemed to work.

I thought deeply about why this was happening because it only seemed to happen in that class.

Then it dawned on me that he felt reminded too much that he was a ‘kid’ when he was in those classes. The games and some of the activities were too ‘kid-like’ if you know what I mean and Zachary didn’t like to be treated like a ‘kid’. Even I felt like a kid when I was in those classes!

Because we refer to and treat Zachary like an individual and not like a ‘kid’, he expected to be treated like an individual. You see, from what he has observed in his short life so far, he loves everything about being an adult – doing work with me around the house like an adult, wearing my adult shoes, going shopping like an adult and being spoken to like an adult or at least an older child.

The Result: he behaves like an adult! Zachary likes being treated like a man or a grown-up boy. And I have to say that Olivia, my daughter loves to be treated like an older girl too. And those music classes did exactly the opposite.

My kids and I with Ruby the Dog. They just adore each other.
Choose to spend time with your kids, not ‘quality time’.

So, it got me thinking about life and society in general.

Everything seems to be geared to the adults, isn’t it? Actually – most of life, matter of fact almost everything you can think of, for a very long time now has been organized for the convenience of adults, in particular – the comfort and suitability to men!

Give it some thought and let it sink in …

Work hours is structured that way and has been like that for centuries. The hours set is very suitable for men, isn’t it? The system of the industrial era allows one to have a ‘work-home-from-home’ that conveniently makes men unavailable at home for forty to eighty hours.

And when are these hours structured? During those moments at home where help is needed most. Those waking hours, where men are needed for cleaning, cooking and caring for children. Your children! So, the system still predominantly excludes one person from the ‘work-home’ and who do you think that is?

There are no prizes for guessing who that person is!

Yes, it is the woman. The mum. The female that is representing “EVE”. This is still the majority of cases in today’s world.

The question I ask is ‘why?!’ It is a choice after all, a choice every man, every woman, every family has to make. No one is going to ask you to make that choice for you. Be brave and make it yourself! Its not about whether you have what it takes; it’s about whether you choose to pursue it. Of course it is difficult to overcome a lifetime of education (and brainwashing). New habits will have to be created, and new dreams/expectations to go with them.

I believe with the exponential growth of technology and the embracing of more balanced philosophies, it is not necessary that individuals (particularly men) should be locked away in office places at the same time for hours a day.

What do you think?

I don’t think it is healthy for one thing. It is not necessary to be in the same vicinity as all your office colleagues every day of the week. You can be just as productive if not more, if you focused on what you were paid to do in the convenience of your own home. When will society realize that a lot of that ‘office time’, whilst relevant for the previous industrial era, is not necessary now and was put in place mainly for the convenience and needs of men.

It would be highly likely that ‘hours at work’ would have been very different today if it was us, men, who had to also run a home, clean, cook and take and pick up kids from school. It is not easy, believe me, it isn’t. But I believe it is a necessary and arguably the most important investment a man can make in his life: Time (not ‘quality time’) with his kids and home-life.

My children – Olivia and Zachary striking a ‘front double-biceps’ pose for the camera. Watch out, these Valentine Guns are loaded!

More of society, more of life should be geared toward the ‘Eve’ of the relationship.

More should be given to the woman. More should be given for the woman’s comfort, for her convenience.

More of society should be organized from a woman’s point-of-view, with more love, more care, more compassion, more flexibility. More importantly, more control over where and when one does one’s work.

There should be more personal responsibility and less ‘looking-over-your-shoulder’ work environments that still exists in many industries and in particular, the corporate world, where grown-ups are still made to feel like children in an ‘adult-like’ environment. How suffocating is that?!

How can grown adults be expected to work productively and do what is expected of an responsible adult if they are meant to feel like a ‘kid’ when at work because of the old-fashioned culture still in existence?

Over a hundred years of indoctrination of industrialism has changed the way we dream. The industrialist needs you to dream of security and the benefits of compliance. The industrialist works to sell you on a cycle of consumption (which requires more compliance) and the industrialist benefits of moving up the corporate ladder – his ladder!

But the society now is very different to what it was a millennia ago. Times have changed dramatically.

I believe that this is what society wants more of – a more balanced, more equal approach to life in all areas for both real men and women. And I also believe that this is what most men reading this and out there wants too. The winds of change has already been happening. Men and women are moving towards more of a “Adam and Eve” relationship and I believe it is very healthy and is necessary for this period in history.

If you are already in such a relationship, you are blessed.

Organizations need women more and more and should start changing archaic systems that are no longer relevant in today’s world. Women provide the balance to men, the balance that men need. This should be reflected in all areas of life – a genuine Adam and Eve approach. An approach that respects the importance and power of connection – between human beings, in particular the equal time-sharing both parents have in raising their children.

It began that way many, many years ago in beautiful story-telling about a garden of Eden – with Adam and Eve. We, society, need to return to this but this time with the understanding that Adam needed Eve.

I am blessed I have my Eve – my wife, with equal Captaincy on our ship in the journey through our sea of life. I know I need my wife like Adam needed Eve.

Here’s hope to a better future … by turning back to the future.

All the best for 2016!

Until next time,

Me and my children – carriers of my genes. A taste of immortality for me.

Find what you love to do.
Then, go do it!

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A Re-think.

The philosophy you follow heavily influences whether you achieve your goals in life or not.
Enjoy ‘moments’ in life. Live your life, by life and through life. Don’t live your life by ‘time’.

Just turned a year older today.

Am blessed to have experienced yet another birthday and spend it with my family and the people I love dearest.

Made me stop for a few fleeting moments to reflect and appreciate all that I have had so far in my short life on this earth. Truly a blessing to be alive and each breath I take reminds me of this blessing.

However, I was thinking about ageing and time, in particular.

Now, progressing through the second forty years on this planet, from my observations, most of us a reminded almost daily of our pending death. Most, if not every person thinks that they will live forever and you can see it in lot of the behavioural aspects of modern day humans.

There is inherently a strange kind of appetite or hunger for eternity, don’t you think? I mean it’s everywhere. Almost everywhere you turn, you get reminded and frustrated by society through the way it communicates ‘time’.

A big portion of our innovations and inventions are marketed to ‘save time’. Let’s have a look at a few – the washing machine, the dish washer, the fast car, information technology in all it’s forms, the jet flight and so forth. But I would like to ask the question – ‘what for?”.

In all of history, never has there been a time where people have been required to be more hurried than they are now – we have alarms, watches, buzzers, countless meetings, the overly structure education system, the categories of different ages – toddlers, teenager, twenties, trying thirties, topsy-turvy forties, and so forth and the precise daily schedules …

What for?

Ex-Australian Wallaby Captain – Phil Waugh performing a set of squats.
“Feeling the essence” of the exercise is vital to attaining desired results.
Experiencing the ‘moment’ to ‘feel the essence’ of the exercise.
It is ‘moments’, not time, that is the essence of life.

What is it that seem to remain embedded in our memories forever? It is ‘moments’. Why do we really ‘enjoy moments’ and long for this and remember these ‘moments’ well in to the future? Even as we age, we cherish ‘moments’. What does this suggest?

The fact that we seem to lose all sense of time when we enjoy these ‘moments’ may suggest that we were maybe created for eternity. We just don’t ‘get it!” I mean despite thousands of generations, we seem unable to get used to – time!

Maybe, we were never meant to be just ‘temporary beings’ on this planet. Maybe, instead of seeing ourselves as a being on this earth for a limited time, we should see ourselves living forever, even after our external bodies’ age and wilter away.

There is a constant fascination for it or of it – time, that is. Scientists are still trying to figure it out? We don’t really understand it but we are always amazed by it. How fast it goes, how slowly it goes, how much of time has elapsed or gone? Does it really disappear? We are constantly reminded of the passing of time in a lot of things in our daily lives, in particular, on our birthday. Birthdays and birthday messages reinforces this infatuation with the passing of time.

I got a message from a very good friend (all the way from grade 1 in primary school) for my birthday and a line in his message “time surely passes by” prompted me to write this blog.

So, it seems we as individuals and as communities and as a whole civilization constantly demonstrate signs that we haven’t really adapted to time. We have never and still do not feel at ease with it even after thousands and thousands of generations. Maybe just maybe, we need to RE-THINK our concept of time.

Maybe, we’ve got it all wrong all this time and the clues may just be in front of our noses and we are not seeing it.

Maybe, just maybe we need to re-think our current dominant view or paradigm of ‘time’. Maybe, we should accept our uneasiness of time as proof or at least a powerful-enough suggestion that eternity exists and we are living it.

Eternity is life and we are living it.

Re-think: Life has no beginning, no end. Every day is the beginning and the end. If the beginning is the end, then there is no ‘time’. Time is infinity. Time is life. You are living proof of infinity in this life and the next. The concept of time is irrelevant and instead we should just experience life through ‘moments’ – not time!

You are not a physical being with an emotional core. No, you are a spiritual being encased in a physical capsule. It is the physical body that ages, that rots and returns to dust, not the spiritual. The spiritual lives on forever.

The spirit is consciousness, the spirit never ages. The spirit is the real ‘you’.

So, maybe contrary to what society has and is constantly telling us, live your life as if it will never end. As if you will live forever, that maybe you shouldn’t be ‘rushing around’ trying to do a million things before you die and constantly believing you don’t have enough time in the day like I hear so many people say.

Re-think: you are alive and will continue to live FOREVER. You have enough time, you have enough ‘life’ to live, don’t rush too much, you will fulfil every desire you ever had, be it in this physical realm or the next.

Spiritually, you will live forever. For eternity. There is only one catch though – you have to have faith, you have to believe in the spirit. You have to believe in something you cannot physically ‘see’, an intangible. You have to believe there is a higher force, a higher being.

You have to have unwaveringly belief there is a GOD.

This to me, maybe our key to eternity…. To our salvation. In science and in life, a ‘truth’ will only remain a truth until proven wrong. That is the very essence of science. Maybe, the truth of time as we view it is not true. Maybe, life is not to measured in time, but instead should be embraced as part of eternity.

Re-think …

Until next time,

B&W3284

awareness, basics of training, beauty, better choices, Body shape, change management, choices, Energy, fundamentals, muscles, recreate, self improvement, shoulders, symmetry

Shoulder Boulders.

Retired rugby legend: Ex-Australian Wallaby Champion Captain & True Leader – Phil Waugh.
Setting his own standards of excellence in all areas of his life, following my framework.
Working towards improved balance and symmetry in his life.

One of the most painful sights I see on a man is small shoulders.

When I say ‘small’, I mean that he or she is genetically small on the upper torso width, and I am not talking about ‘lat width’ here. Admittedly, shoulder width is limited by a person’s clavicle width. The smaller the clavicle width, the smaller the shoulder width.

Some blokes accentuate this problem though. In the gym, they focus on their chests, arms and back and forget about their shoulder widths – the very thing that adds to the elusive ‘x-frame’ that every man strives for in shape in his life.

The elusive ‘x-frame’ is somewhat a rare commodity in the modern-day masculine shape. If a man has a narrow clavicle width, he starts out with an disadvantage but he does not have to stay that way. How could he address this problem? Well, the smartest thing to do is to lift weights and to build the shoulder muscles. And what are they?

Well, firstly – they help define (from a physical point of view) what a true man is. I know this statement is rather old fashion and somewhat controversial, but I believe it still holds true. A man’s man is partially defined according to the shoulders he has on him.

Obviously, this is not the only point of ‘being a man’ but it does contribute to the aura of what it means to be a man. Secondly, no man in his right mind would not want bigger shoulders than he already has. In my opinion, the bigger the better. Bigger is better in this aspect. Full stop!

The shoulder muscles are used every time you push or pull or twist your upper torso. That means every time you use your arms. They are some of the most used muscles in the body since you were a toddler.

The shoulder muscles are composed of three distinct muscle heads – the posterior, the medial and the anterior deltoids. All three heads need a good delicate balance throughout. This can be enhanced through weight training.

A good sequence of exercises could include:

Barbell presses.
Barbell upright rows.
Dumbell side lateral raises.
Rear dumbbell later raises.
Dumbell shrugs.

The pursuit of harmony (balance & symmetry) poses a few challenges to help us get closer to its achievement.
To achieve order and beauty one needs to strive to wade through chaos (disorder) in everything one does.

Like I said earlier, one of the most painful sights (from an aesthetic point of view) is to see a grown man with less than ideal shoulder width. Most men fall short of the ideal ‘x-frame’ width. Most men have the choice to do something about it. Most men can help build those shoulder boulders with a application of a well thought-out weight-training program.

Another important point I would like to stress is that what is most important is not that you have ‘big’ shoulders. No, anyone can have big shoulders! What is most important is to develop the ‘caps’ on those shoulders. Shoulder width is all about ‘caps’, not so much muscle meat.

So, work on your width with weights. Yes, I encourage that.

But when you do, remember to build those ‘twin caps’. Remember to ‘cap’ those delts (short for deltoids). There’s a lot more to just lifting weights when it comes to sculpturing your physique. Like I have always said, anyone can lift weights, but very few ever learn how to sculpt a physique, just like anyone can swim, but very few can swim like an Olympian.

Part of the key: Focus.

All the very best in your workouts.

All the very best in your search for balance and symmetry. All the very best in your search for beauty. As Keats said “Beauty is truth and truth, beauty. “ How true. You get closer to beauty through the search for balance and symmetry or elegance in all areas of your life.

The physique is one area/aspect. Keep it simple.

So, build those delts, those shoulders but most importantly, build those ‘caps’. It is those caps that will help you attain that elusive ‘x-frame’.

Awaken the sculpture, the artist in you. Build those shoulder boulders!

Let loose …

Until next time,

2007 World Natural Bodybuilding Championships staged in NY, USA. Represented: Australia. Placing: 4th. Judged criteria heavy on balance and symmetry.

2007 World Natural Bodybuilding Championships staged in NY, USA.
Represented: Australia.
Placing: 4th.
Judging criteria heavy on balance and symmetry.

Back Double Biceps – few days out from the Australian Natural Bodybuilding Championships
Result: 2nd in Australia.
Here, you can see the “x-frame” and shoulder boulders in action. Takes years of focused work.

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My E.T surprises.

It’s odd and funny at the same time, when I think about it, that my wife still remains extra-terrestrial (E.T) or alien-enough to surprise me. Even after living together for almost fifteen years.

Do you feel the same about your wife? Does she remain alien-like?

I mean you would think you know her by now and can see through all her tricks right? You know her walk, her talk, her favourite foods and which foods she would find disgusting. You know when she isn’t really in a good mood and needs some space. You think you know her – right?

And then one day, she surprises you!

Wow, isn’t that a beautiful thing – to be surprised by the woman you’ve chosen to spend the rest of your life with. This surprise, this seemingly small thing can have such a significant effect on you. This appreciation can literally increase your awareness, not only of you and your environment but more importantly of your woman. This little surprise has the power to ‘wake you up’ and make you realize what you may have forgotten for a while.

“And what is that?” I hear you say.

The surprise this alien-like person has given you makes you realize that she is her own person. She is NOT an extension of you. She is not a supporting actress of you in a private drama you have written, starring in, producing and directing. No, she is a distinct, unique individual with unique, individual dreams and aspirations and hopes. She is starring in her own movie of her own life, in which she is directing.

Sometimes, like right now when I look at my wife, Cathy sleeping, unaware of me, as beautiful and peaceful as the prettiest sun-rise you can imagine. The face of a sleeping woman, in particular – the face of this sleeping woman, is profound and surreal. Truly a thing of beauty to observe and experience. This face with its natural beauty and balance, with it’s soft lines and delicate symmetry. With it’s hidden eyes and shut lips and amazing curves. A true blessing to witness.

These shut lips are saying to me “fifteen years are barely enough to get beneathe the skin, let alone to the heart – of the mystery that is a woman.”

This mystery woman is my wife. Somehow after fifteen years together, I don’t think a life-time is enough time to understand this mystery, alien-like woman. She is a sweet stranger, beyond the knowing of a lifetime and that is ok with me. It should be ok for you too, when it comes to your wife.

I just love this photo of my wife. My E.T.

I just love this photo of my wife.
My loving E.T who still surprises me.

And do you want to know why that is ok?

Well, because this E.T beautiful being simply surprises me even after all these years. I am glad for that because it renews our marriage. In most important things in life, it is the little things that matter.

Remember: Elephants don’t bite, mosquitoes do. Marriage, like all other complex dynamical systems in nature is extremely sensitive to the little things in life, like these E.T surprises.

These complex dynamical systems (like marriage) are highly sensitive because they are always changing, always on the move, never static, never returning to its original or initial states. The woman and man’s individual complex and dynamic selves are like the changing river of time, changing and adapting within the umbrella of the union of marriage.

As the great Greek philosopher Heraclitus stipulated:

“You can never step into the river of time twice, though it is the same river.”

So, step well my friends.

My E.T surprises that my wife gives me unsettles the regularity and order of the complex dynamical system that is the marriage, providing a wave of chaos or disorder. This is not a bad thing, it is a good thing.

Indeed, I believe it is part of the richness of life. My life is enriched in every sense of the word with her in it and I wouldn’t have it any other way. My love for this E.T never stops increasing.

All the best in your love for your alien E.T too.

Until next time,

Sharing the snow with my loving E.T.

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Be an instrument, not an object.

1) Balance
2) Symmetry (harmony)
In body shaping/moulding that is key. The same can be said with regards to all other areas in life:
– work/rest balance
– internal/external harmony
It is every human being’s ultimate search.
Become an instrument, not an object.

As part of what I do in helping people be their best physical self, I help them re-shape their physiques in the process of working towards a healthier, stronger, fitter versions of themselves. I have had over 80% success rate in achieving or exceeding client’s expectations over the last twelve years.

Like a potter, I help in moulding and making and holding an individual’s dream alive using the tools I am accustomed to. Unlike a potter though, my subject is a human being, not a piece of clay. Unlike the piece of clay, my subject thinks, talks, walks, eats, doubts and laughs amongst the many other traits of a human being. It makes re-shaping a human being quite a bit more complex than a piece of clay or inanimate object.

I do not currently or have ever viewed anyone I have ever helped in the gym as an ‘object’. Instead, I have always seen my role as a privilege and viewed one of my roles as one who empowers individuals. I see part of my role as that of increasing awareness of individuals, of their potential, help them become better students of life. I have seen everyone as instruments that needed to understand the unique music each of them played.

Through my programs and unique framework to body re-engineering, I help individuals see themselves, not as objects but as instruments, an instrument that says and believes that …

I’m good for something.
I have purpose.
I have value.
I can add value to others’ lives.
And so on …

Helping someone achieve his best, in one of the best ways I know how: through increasing self-awareness.
Vv.

It should be noted that unlike the potter, I don’t have power over the person. She or he stays in control always. Like the potter though, I have creative power as I help bring in to being that which was not (as far as creating the physique the individual imagines he or she has).

Unlike the potter though, I DO NOT have RE-CREATIVE POWER.

If the potter made a mistake and the pot does not produce the desired shape, the potter can just break it up and re-mould it again in to what he or she had originally desired. It does not work that way with the instruments I help every day. Matter of fact, it is darn right difficult, because there are just too many variables.

From my perspective, it is impossible and I don’t desire it either.

The individual has total power within his hands. It is up to him or her, ALWAYS.

In my youth I spent a number of years serving as an altar boy during masses, assisting the priests. If you’re a Christian, we all believe that God created us. So, as I see it, God is the ultimate potter. I am so glad God is what God is. I mean, wouldn’t you agree that we should consider ourselves very lucky that when we are marred and broken, the Lord our God is like the potter with the clay.

You see, God just does not give up on you that easily. When you’re broken and feel helpless and don’t believe in yourself anymore, rest assured that God still believes in you. Like the potter, God has re-creative power. The only catch is: you have to desire it so, you’ve got to want to be a better person. You have got to BELIEVE you can be a better YOU.

“Dust to dust”, I remember some elderly person mutter when I was a kid. Later on in life, I figured what he meant was … We all end where we began: like the potter, God holds us in his hands and moulds and shapes us. So, you see, no matter what challenges life throws at you, whatever obstacles or speed bumps you have in your path, always remember that you’re in his hands – God’s hands.

This I believe, is the definition of the ultimate potter.

Not matter what happens in your life – whether you’re right or wrong, up or down, poverty or wealth, sickness or in health or death, always have faith and believe that YOU ARE IN HIS HANDS.

The hands that belong to the best shaper, the best moulder, the best creator and re-creator of possibilities and ultimately, the BEST YOU.

His got the whole world in his hands. So, desire his help and be the instrument you believe God wants you to be.

Be an instrument, not an object.

Helping Chris close the gap between how he imagines himself to be and what he sees in the mirror.
Or in other words: Manifesting the ‘unfolding universe’ of his ‘enfolded’ invisible universe (what he imagines/dreams)
Vv

One of my top 3 songs is a song sung by one of my top 10 bands “Journey”. The song encapsulates what I am trying to say in it’s title and chorus line – “Don’t stop believing!”. My children have listened to it in the car on our travels countless times already in their lives so far and refer to it as our “Family song”, even requesting to listen to it regularly.

I never want my children to ever stop believing. To never stop believing in themselves and whatever it is they will eventually believe in and pursue in their lives. I know I will never stop believing in them ‘til the day I die. If you have children, I am sure you will do the same.

Our children is a blessing, we all are God’s children. We are all living examples of a blessed instrument, not an object. Find your tune, and play it to help yourself and use your uniqueness to help others.

Be confident, be brave and face all your fears. After all, God, our creator, our potter, is always on our side.

Just BELIEVE it so.

All the best.

Until next time,

My Unique WAY.
Helping create the body a student desires. Helping him or her become a better instrument to play his/her own unique music.
Vv

A former student of mine. Mother of 2 two young children with a dream to BE HER BEST. To find the CHAMPION LYING DORMANT WITHIN HER.
After 8 years of total devotion to motherhood, I helped her, help herself realize her dream in less than 10 months.
She placed 2nd in NSW in Figure in a very tough line up.
A great student who believed. Believed in herself. Believed in my program. Believed in her dream. Quality plan + Quality execution = Quality Result!
Create.

~~Life & wellness COACH~~

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Equal friendship.

Ex-Australian Wallaby Captain – Phil Waugh performing a set of squats.
What goes up must come down.
A possible definition of a squat.
Summarises most things in life. It could also symbolically represent the ups and downs of an equal friendship. Each person understands the boundaries of the relationship just like there are limits to a squatting range of motion.

I believe in friendship – equal friendship.

Who do you consider your ‘friend’ at this point in your life? Your partner, wife, husband? Your high school or university friend? Do you have hundreds of friends or just a few with many acquaintances?

I can honestly say that my best friend at this point in my life is my beautiful wife, a friendship that has lasted fifteen years and counting. There are also many friendships that have been in existence for various lengths of time. You would have the same too. For example, I have friendships that started all the way from kindergarten (over 37 years ago) all the way to a few current friends.

You may have many people in your life you consider friends. In this day and age where the definition of ‘friends’ can mean what we have on facebook, a friend could mean something else to you. Some people pride themselves on the number of friends they have. There are many definitions. Fair enough.

In my fourty years on this earth so far, I have experienced many types of friendships and one thing has stood out: You don’t need to be a friend to everyone. Understanding this will help you ‘manage your funnel better’.

It’s just not possible to spread yourself equally with all your friends or so-called friends. Friendship, genuine friendship takes time and effort. Most of you reading this would agree.

We don’t have to look very far for a decent model. If you are a Christian, let’s remind ourselves of the model say, Jesus, adopted. He preached to, healed and helped thousands of people but he only had twelve disciples. How many of these close disciples did he invite when he was transfigured on the mountain?

Only three! You could say that he had only three genuine friends.

Loading the ‘guns’ with proper execution.
Here Brad is building his ‘mind-muscle’ connection under my watchful eye.

I recall seeing only two very good friends of my grandfather in his last few years of his life. They came around our home a few times a week just to sit and talk and reminisce of the ‘old days’. They were friends for over fifty years. I witnessed the beauty of very close, genuine friendship. It was truly a thing of beauty.

However, it was only after my grandfather passed away that I truly understood what I had observed.

With only 86,400 seconds in a day, you cannot possibly relate to every one of your friends in an equal fashion. Don’t stress if you aren’t. It all depends on the phase of life you’re in and the philosophy you adopt. Because of the finiteness of life, it is wise not to waste your precious friendship time on relationships that won’t be productive.

Don’t mis-understand me now. It is ok to lend a helping hand to a needy person but it is another to develop a friendship. Like I said, friendship takes time and hard work. It doesn’t JUST HAPPEN. In the case of the needy person, you could consider it as social work or community service or spiritual caring.

However, with a genuine friend, you and your friend will share and give equally to each other. You both get fulfilment and nourishment from being in the relationship.

For simplicity let’s break life up in to three categories to refer to relationships:

People whom you nourish and who return little or nothing to you
People who nourish you, but you may return nothing to them
Genuine and equal sharing relationships.

All three categories vital to your existence but I don’t believe the first two of the three types of relationships are friendships. The third type or category is what I refer to as real friendship. You must be strong and aware enough to distinguish between them. Mixing them up could cause problems.

It is important to reflect on your philosophy regarding life and the choices you make with regards to investing in certain relationships. What is needed is discernment and making the all important choice of taking some of these relationships to the level of genuine friendship.

Friendship that lasts because it is built on equality.

Here’s my little formula for friendship: Equal friendship = Genuine friendship.

Your ‘friends’ can have a big influence on where you end up in life. Increase your awareness and seek equality and authenticity.

Choose well.

All the best!

Until next time,

Retired rugby legend: Ex-Australian Wallaby & Waratahs Champion Captain & True Leader – Phil Waugh.
Setting his own standards of excellence in all areas of his life, following my framework.
Champions like Phil help us recognize that he believes in sacrifice and dedication to higher principles – higher standards.
AWaken yours today towards THE BEST YOU CAN BE with one of my programs!

~~Life & wellness COACH~~

a better life, action, attitude, belief systems, Beliefs, better choices, decisions, Goals, self, self improvement, self-image, success, you, your life

Are you the master or slave to your “shadow”?

Each rep of each exercise, executed with constant tension throughout the full range of motion gets you closer to the person you ‘imagine yourself to be’.
Goal of set: make the last rep as good as the first.
As A+ student here – former Australian Rugby Wallabies & NSW Waratahs Captain, Phil Waugh, executing perfect form in triceps extensions.

In daylight or any light for that matter, you cast a shadow. Even if the sun or light is right above you, your shadow is still there. It is always there. Your shadow here can be likened to your self-image, your sub-conscious. Are you the master or slave to your shadow?

It is an interesting relationship – this one between you and your shadow. Can be likened to a ‘master-slave’ relationship where you would think that YOU are the master and your shadow, the slave.

All actions you take comes from this relationship. Well, many actions can be taken by the master but no action whatsoever can be taken without consulting the shadow.

The shadow or the ‘sub-conscious’ ability of the mind houses your very important ‘self-image’. By the time we are adults, we would have developed a self-image about every talent, every characteristic and every performance we have ever had. Have you ever heard yourself or others state perceptions out loud like – “I’m a lousy cook, I can’t even scramble eggs’ or “I have a terrible memory”. “I’m never on time”. “I can’t stick to a healthy diet”. I have heard many of these self-limiting impositions people have made and believed in my time in the gym.

These all make up your shadow, shaped by your subconscious mind. The important thing to remember is this:

“you cannot outgrow these limits you place on yourself – you can only set new limits within which you must live.”

Results with care.
Here, Brad is ‘feeling the essence’ of the exercise and inching closer to his best self.
Managing your ‘shadow’ better is a giant step towards realising your goals. Vv

In my two decades of helping individuals in the gym find the best version of themselves, whether it be in losing weight or in quitting a bad habit, effort alone is not enough to achieve and sustain the goals. You also need imagination!

I always tell my students that they need to “walk, talk, eat, sleep, sh%t, talk, run …. Like the person they need to be, before they become the person they will be.” As there is another important point to remember:

It is not what you “are” that holds you back, it’s “what you think you are not.”

I have learned a lot about people and a lot from the many thousands of people I have met over the last two decades in the gym. I love ‘people watching’ and one thing I do know that holds true for every person is this:

Individuals DO NOT behave in accordance with reality. Individuals behave in accordance with their ‘perception of reality’.

What is your reality? What is your perception of the ‘truth’?

I have found that if a person does not desire to work on changing his/her self-beliefs that are aligned with the person they desire to be then the change they are seeking will be temporary. This will apply to any worthwhile change, for example weight loss, alcohol consumption or quitting smoking and so forth.

Self-image is fundamental to understanding human behaviour and what I discovered years ago is that if you change a person’s self-image, you change their personality and their behaviour. I think this is a very important part of any mentoring/coaching role, whether it be in a team capacity or on an individual basis.

This is why effort (or will-power) alone is not enough to make a change that is lasting in yourself. Trying to make a worthwhile change at the conscious level by using will-power, will usually result in a temporary change. I have seen this many times with the thousands of gym goers that seek a positive change in their lives. You see them – bursting out of their seams doing all the group classes, sporting the latest clothing gear, looking the ‘part’ but never achieving their goals.

There are many reasons that people fail to achieve lasting change but a big part of it is that they try and take on a new habit for example – going to the gym or give up a bad habit for example – one-pack-a-day smoker for ten years by good ol-fashioned, teeth-gritting WILL POWER.

This is where people fundamentally go wrong: people think that they are masters of their shadow and have not understood that they are in fact slaves to their shadow, the shadow being your subconscious part of your mind. Because they have not spent the time working on their self-beliefs that make up part of their self-image, the conscious mind is still unconvinced.

Two principles of building muscle: 1) Simplicity and 2} Continuity.
Become aware; Apply action: Adapt accordingly.

Reminds me of a client I trained a few years ago. He did very well. He lost around 30kg and built a decent physique. He worked very hard and was a very good student. For about 8 months I reminded him daily of the importance of ‘walking, talking, sitting, eating, sleeping, shi%ting …. Like the person he desires to be”. And for those first 8 months he told me he had it under control and he had mastered this request of mine.

However, I wasn’t convinced he was (even though he had achieved a body-weight he had not been at since he was a late teenager). It was unchartered territory for him.

It wasn’t until he went out and played a round of golf with some of his old mates one weekend that he truly understood what I meant by that statement and what I said was his biggest challenge was.

For the entire round of golf, he was having an extremely bad day and he couldn’t understand why he was hitting the ball that bad. It just so happened that a friend in the group (an ex-Olympian who understood a bit of sport psychology) went up to him and said,

“you are still hitting the ball like you were the guy who was 30kg heavier – the old YOU?”

That was when everything crystallised. He then realised what I had meant when I reminded him of how important it was to train his mind and mastering his shadow. I have said this a thousand times over the last two decades – losing weight is the easy part. What is the most difficult thing to do is convincing the REAL YOU that you are the NEW YOU.

In the case of the example of the smoker, your shadow (self-image) has seen you as a smoker for the past ten years and believes that you will still “see” yourself inside as a smoker.

Result: The smoker fails his attempt to quit smoking. Puts it in the “Too – hard busket.”

This is where imagination and emotion (or heart) comes in to the equation. I have always believed that effort (will-power and hard work) alone is not enough to achieve lasting results, one needs imagination and ‘heart’. You need to feel the end result you are seeking.

If you don’t change your self-image or shadow then when there is a conflict between will-power and conviction, the latter will always WIN. You can see this in action for example when you know you’re tired but you’re convinced you won’t sleep, you just won’t sleep no matter how hard you try (will-power).

Chris enjoying a well-deserved rest between sets.
A ‘set’ as I define it is: a continuous progression of 15 to 45 sec ‘focused moments’.
Focus + heart + visualization ===> results.
Vv.

For any worthwhile change to be sustainable and permanent in your personality or behaviour, you should first involve change in your belief-systems and self-image (change the control your shadow has over you). This change in self-image needs to be followed up with a quality plan and quality implementation for any successful change in your lifestyle.

We make decisions (small and big) every single moment of every day of our lives. To me, most if not all decisions in life come down to 2 things:

Plan
Implementation

You need these 2 things if you want to get results. That is easy to understand. It follows then that to achieve QUALITY RESULTS, you need to have a QUALTIY Plan and have QUALITY implementation.

So, a question you would ask yourself is “are you going to be a slave to your shadow for the rest of your life” and use it as a ‘handicap’ or are you going to use this shadow as a springboard to achieving greatness?” However, which way you define greatness.

Scientists agree that the human nervous system cannot tell the difference between an actual experience and an experience imagined vividly, emotionally and in detail. This is why your shadow can be used as a springboard to achieving greatness if that is what you choose to achieve.

It is yet another of the many decisions you have to make in your life. A choice.

So, it would follow that you need to “see’ through the eyes of the person you would like to be if you desire to be the person you desire to be.

You need to take control and manage your shadow if you wish to make any worthwhile, sustainable change in YOU and your life. Let me sum it up in this formula:

A quality plan + quality implementation = quality life.

This is what my framework and the products I have developed help people do. I give them a quality plan (tailored to each individual) and I guide them through quality implementation towards a quality result. So, don’t leave such an important aspect of self-achievement with the ‘lottery of life’ attitude, that a big percentage of the population do – you can see this behaviour reflected in the popularity and increasing prevalence of games of chances, led by the gambling industry.

It is the one thing you have some control over, if you desired it. What is needed from you is the courage to manage your shadow better and become master to it and not the servant. Make a quality plan to change your belief systems for the better and use your shadow (self-image) as a spring board to a better YOU, a better LIFE.

Overcoming many small hurdles on your way to achieving your ultimate goal is encouraging.
Progress, any form of progress is a motivating factor.
So, don’t strive for perfection, instead seek progress … towards your ideal SELF. Former student, demonstrates that desire to be and do his BEST in this photo. … like he has done ✅ all his life. To be his best, he trains with the BEST.
Vv

So, if there is one important investment you will ever make and abstain from putting the ‘cart before the horse’ like the majority of people do, is to work on your shadow. In order to do this, you need to understand your shadow, understand the REAL YOU. You need to increase your awareness. The first step to any form of self-improvement.

To do this, to understand – you need to work towards simplifying things. Matter of fact, in the beginning you need to ‘over-simplify’ things to understand things better – to ‘manage your funnel better’.

So, that is your first step, simplify YOU. Simplify your life. Make the complex, simple. Simplify to understand. Understand you and your shadow. Seek to understand the master-slave relationship that exists. Before becoming a master of the many other external things in life, become a master to yourself – your shadow.

Work towards managing this master-slave relationship in your favour. Take better control of your shadow by understanding and changing your self-image, with a vivid, clear, emotional, sensory vision of the person you want to be.

If you have children, watch them play ‘pretend’ games. Understand your shadow by adopting this “lets pretend” attitude, and play the role of whomever you want to be. My kids just don’t go out of character until the pretend game has ended. Imagination is one thing my kids have helped me improve over the last few years of fatherhood.

So continue to work on your imagination and believe in your dreams. Believe you can become a better version of YOU and try ‘pretending’ you ARE before YOU ARE. After-all, your shadow cannot tell the difference between “The real me” and the ‘the one I see’.

Managing my shadow better, helped me towards representing Australia twice at the World Natural Body-building Championships and be placed in the Top 5 in the world in consecutive years. It has also been one of the reasons over 84% of everyone I have ever helped over the last 10 years have successfully achieved their goals or better.

So, don’t be a slave to your shadow. Instead work towards becoming the master that you deserve to be and be the best you can be, for YOU first (in whatever worthwhile goal you have), and by default everyone gets the best of you too. Be the best you can be to live the best life you can live.

Besides, I read somewhere a long time ago that life is like a parachute, you only have one chance to open/live it.

Choose well.

All the best.

Until next time,

World Natural Bodybuilding Championships.
Side Chest pose.
Placing: 4th.

Side Triceps pose in the heat of competition at the 2007 World Natural Bodybuilding Contest held in NY, USA.
Represented Australia.
Ranked: 4th Best Natural Bodybuilder in the World.
Repeated this in 2008.

a better life, action, adaptation, ageing, asking questions, attitude, awareness, balance, beauty, better choices, change, Change Agent, chaos, choices, compassion, consciousness, dads, eternity, examined life, game of life, strengths

Simplify to Amplify.

You learn from children and then learn from us.
It is a two-way learning experience, not one way (parents to children like some people think)

Time will tell

I love being a dad.

I love being a father to my two children. Every day I am grateful for the blessing my wife gave when she chose to bring them in to this world.

Having children is a true blessing. I’m sure all dads reading this would agree.

I love being with my children – doing every single thing with them. I just feel I want to spend every single minute of my life with them. I truly thank my intelligent, strong, caring, loving wife for the opportunity to spend a big chunk of this phase of their lives with them.

It is truly a blessing I experience that not many dads out there have the opportunity to do so. They have learned a lot from me and I have learned many things from them already.

I love observing them, you can learn so much (I’m sure a lot of dads and mums love this too). Even in the first 2 to 3 years of their lives, I can tell how distinctly different they are to one another. They are poles apart in certain things and activities they choose to participate in.

For example, Zachary makes it very clear that he does not enjoy colouring or drawing, whereas Olivia has an obvious talent in this area. They have obvious inclinations towards certain activities. They tell us what they are interested in and we can certainly observe this through they repeated behaviour.

These are the traits that need to be developed, traits/strengths that need to be amplified to bring the best out of each child, each person. In simple terms, we need to simplify to amplify.

Time will tell.

Time will tell what truth our children search for

Know YOU – build on your strengths and appreciate your uniqueness

Zachary loves solving puzzles – particularly electronic gadgets or mechanical tools. Zachary had shown a much higher level of patience in the solving of shapes and puzzles than Olivia did at the same age.

It’s just his thing.

Pulling things apart and putting it back together again. He’s always asking the question ‘why?’ and he is very strategic. Already out-thinks me on occasion and he is only three and half years old. He would certainly keep my neurons stimulated as he grows with his strategic constructive debates.

I’ve always believed that due to our short time on earth, we need to firstly identify our strengths and work towards enhancing these through focused and deliberate practise for our future and for the betterment of man-kind.

It’s better use of our 86,400 seconds that we have every day.

Essentially, you need to know You – build on your strengths and appreciate your uniqueness just like my children demonstrate from such a young age. Despite being born from the same genetic blueprint, they differ in so many ways.

Dogs are truly one of man’s best friends

Why work on your weaknesses?

From when we were kids, the school system seemed to encourage the opposite: emphasising our weaknesses and telling us that we need to ‘work on our weaknesses’. Millions of people seem to be spending a lot of time ‘working on their weaknesses’ from the cradle to their grave.

What a waste of time and life!

Overcoming deficits or weaknesses is an essential part of the fabric of our culture, of our society, isn’t it? But why work on your weaknesses?

I mean everywhere we go, we hear stories, see movies, read books about the lotto winner or the underdog who beats one – in – hundred million odds.

It’s everywhere and that is one of the primary reasons gambling is so popular because each and every one of us have been brain-washed in to believing we have great chances of winning even though we may not have the natural ability to win.

However, every day we are bombarded with these stories and we get a deluded sense of the truth. It seems that we tend to celebrate those who triumph over their lack of natural ability much, much more than we celebrate those who capitalize on their innate talents. It certainly makes for ideal TV shows ratings and sells newspapers too.

Champions practise a lot of visualisation and simulation.
To create magic, you need to fuse the worlds of sanity (where you are) with insanity (where you dream/imagine you are, before you are).
That is difficult.
That is one of the key keys.
Don’t stop. Trying. Believing.
Keep on … keeping on. You’ll get there. Everyone always does.
Especially, if you do it with your heart. and ….
with LOVE.

Taking the path of most resistance

As a result of this over-inflated, deluded view of an aspect of success, we have millions of people that chase goals that are impossible. They see these, say, over-night multi-millionaires as THEIR HEROES and the epitome’ of success and so set their sights on conquering major challenges.

Unfortunately for them, this is taking the path of most resistance!

I mean in recent years we’ve all witnessed many examples of these poor souls embarrass themselves on the top reality tv shows looking for talent. How awful is this? I mean I couldn’t understand how people with no talent whatsoever are permitted to get on national tv and perform and get laughed at? It is great for TV show ratings and advertising dollars for the network but isn’t this degrading to the person?

It’s the same for certain sports or careers, it isn’t very difficult to observe that a teaching a fish how to climb a tree like a monkey will always result in disappointment. The fish will never be able to do what a monkey naturally does best and vice versa. A monkey will not be able to swim as well or as fast as a fish in the water. Each individual or animal needs to find the right environment to strive and perform at it’s best.

working to my strengths helped me be one of the best in the world at my chosen sport.
I could not have made it that far in say … basketball. Height is a genetic weakness.
Being strong with lots of power are strengths that when developed helps you achieve your truth.
Your beauty.

Know the difference between positive thinking and delusional thinking

These aspiring contestants then get asked to leave by the judges because, well, they simply suc$ed at it! Then the contestant breaks down and cries. The producers of these shows have milked this sob-story so well and I think most people have had enough of seeing these tear-jerkers.

I used to ask my wife where that poor person’s friends were? Isn’t that a role of a good friend – to tell him/her know how awful he/she is at the particular skill before getting on national tv to get humiliated.

The sad thing is that these contestants actually believe they sound ok. They actually believe that with an opportunity and working hard and getting a tutor, they would somehow miraculously be as good as their idols or as the judges. That to achieve success, it is only and all about hard work. And everyone – the whole audience and viewership seem to believe this too. Now, you could call this type of thinking ‘positive thinking’ but I think it more closer to ‘delusional thinking’.

You should know and understand the difference between positive thinking and delusional thinking. I think many in society believe and practise the latter, unfortunately.

Society does not seem to give credit to innate talent – and that applies to everything in life – in athletic ability, music ability, mechanical ability, spatial ability, emotional ability, spiritual ability etc. Hard work is important to success, yes – but its not the only important thing. Innate ability (or talent) is very important too.

Your life is a continous journey of setting, failing and succeeding in goals … until you … kick the bucket! Keep moving forward, I say!

A person can only perform from a platform of strength

I believe one of the most important responsibilities of parents is to observe and identify the talents and strengths that their children have. This can be done in the very early stages/years of their lives. It will save a lot of heart-ache and pain later in life – in the later teens and early twenties.

It seems that even though we change over time and personalities adapt, scientists have discovered that core personality traits are relatively stable throughout adulthood, as are our perceptions and interests. Even more interesting is that recent studies also show that a child’s observed personality at age 3 is very similar to his or her personality traits reported at age 26.

So, just being more aware as a parent and spending time with your children and really observing them would tell you a lot about their talents. This increased awareness would help give you some idea in the direction they may be more inclined to succeed in their adult lives.

Afterall, a famous management guru said once that a person can only perform from a platform of strength.

A plant of such beauty and delicateness has to have the right environment and conditions to flourish.
You and your strengths need the right environment and conditions to flourish.
FInd yours.

Learn to build on who you already are

Think about you, your life so far.

Are you doing a job that utilizes ALL your strengths? Are you fully utilizing your talents? Or are you doing something that your parents and/or family and friends expected you to do? I’ve seen and heard so many stories about kids entering University and realising they didn’t love Law, for example (which their parents or family expected them to do) was not what they were really good at. They then go back and do another degree or two before discovering their true strengths. Their true love.

They’re still one of the lucky ones.

Are you just doing your current job in a ‘half-hearted attempt’ – doing just enough to get through and not really ‘setting the world on fire?’ Well, are you? Don’t fret, you’re not alone. Apparently, a huge percentage of the world’s population never, ever get to reach their potential because they are not doing a job or work that utilizes their strengths.

Very sad indeed.

Very sad because you only have one life and you are doing something that would not bring your closer to your full potential. Not through the fault of our own but through generations of mis-direction and philosophy partly through the education system. Everyone is brain-washed to believing that they have got to spend all their lives working on ‘their weaknesses’.

One of the keys to human development and/or self-development is building on who you already are.

me in one of the environments where I am at my best and strive to be my best and have the necessary strengths to excel at this. FInd yours.

Journey of self-discovery

To do this, you need to increase your awareness of yourself. You need to be who you are.

But, who are YOU?

Within this journey of self-discovery, I am positive you will find the real strengths that lie within you (if you haven’t already done so).

Identifying your talents and developing them in to real strengths and aligning yourself with the right task is vital to reaching your potential in your life. By putting most of your energy into developing your natural talents, it would seem that extraordinary room for growth exists.

Continuously helping you become the best you can be … BEGIN help by helping yourself.
Then,
Reach out and touch someone … be the light for someone who can only see darkness.
Help them see ‘beauty’ .. see their truth.
Help them manage their insanity with sanity … their chaos with order.
Pray.

Two main conditions for success

I’ve said this before that the two main conditions for success in any sort of work are:

Interest
Confidence

People usually give little attention to these two very important variables because it seems it is very difficult to increase levels of both of these simply by an ACT OF WILL.

I think that is true, you cannot increase confidence by simply WILLING yourself to be. Just as much as you cannot increase your size of your muscles by sitting on your couch and willing it to grow!

This does not mean that it is impossible to change your muscular strength for example. If you lifted weights for repetition and gave your muscles the building blocks of muscle nutrition, you would increase your muscle density.

However, your ability to build muscle is limited to your genetic potential also. So, it seems that confidence and interest can be changed by taking the proper measures and having a step-by-step structured approach to developing these qualities in a certain area.

Important fact: People tend to show a greater degree of intelligence and knowledge in connection with their hobbies than in any other department of life.

You have only one life, so use your available time well.

True Leaders develop Leaders.
Here we have former Australian Rugby Wallaby Captain – Mr Phil Waugh, allowing himself to be led and coached to help him, help himself … find his best self.
Leaders have belief, they have faith but most importantly … they have hope.
That tomorrow will be better than today.

Each to their own

Work on your strengths and pay someone else to work on areas that you are relatively weak at. As a past client of mine use to always say ( he was a board member of several publicly listed companies in Australian and NZ) “each to their own!”. His wife (who I used to train too – for almost 6 years, used to make fun of him and how bad her husband was at using a hammer or tools like that).

He used to always remind me that it was better use of my time to focus on my strengths, saying “Focus on your strengths, son. Focus on your strengths!” and “ each to their own … “.

I agree.

His strength was in numbers and interpretation and story-telling of numbers. He recognised this early and worked and built on his strengths and became the success that he is today.

It is very difficult though, to find your true strengths.

working on what you can’t see is somethimes more important than wha tyou can.
Intuition and ‘feel’ is, I believe more important and more powerful thatn intelligence.
Then, you are ín tune’with the universe

Have Focus

Some people are lucky enough and find their purpose – ie., a cure for cancer or paint pictures. This ONE THING matters to them above all else – above comfort, wealth, respectability, safety, family ties or social obligations.

They have FOCUS.

Very few people are this fortunate and this clear cut in their goals in life, after becoming aware of their strengths very early on. Most men and women, I believe, are prepared to fit in, more or less, with the customs they find around them. To work at any job by which they can earn a reasonable living.

I’ve always asked myself that question – why is this so?

It also seems that there are probably some people who fall between these two stools I have mentioned above. These people (if they utilized and worked on their strengths) could be happier and have more growth and reach their potential in life with great certainty in a vocation that uses these traits.

However, it seems that they may fear or have the lack of self-knowledge or the courage or determination needed to break away from the life which other people expect them to lead.

Read that last sentence again: they are …. Afraid to break away from the life which other people expect them to lead. Afraid to do the work that nature designed them. I believe that maybe, in a perfect world, they would be encouraged to do such work.

Ask yourself: to which type of person do you belong?

Attitude is key at winning in the Game of Life.

Fear of Failure

I think the biggest FEAR that is holding people back is not FEAR OF FAILURE. No, it is really FEAR OF CRITICISM/RIDICULE from family and friends for the decision to pursue something career/vocation that they least expected you to do.

This FEAR OF NOT MEETING OTHER’S EXPECTATIONS OF YOU is what keeps people from taking a risk and believing in their own abilities/talents and working towards developing those.

It is very difficult. It has always been.

This is how it has been for the majority since the beginning of time. So, stop working on your weaknesses, and encourage your children to spend time and effort on their strengths. Strengths that you can quite easily observe while you spend time with them.

Reach for your potential through the development of your strengths. Spend more time on them, not your deficits. You’re a complex individual – every human being is. Raise your awareness of yourself and filter down to your top three to five strengths.

Simplify yourself – simplify YOU. Simplify the complex YOU.

Find out WHAT WORKS BEST.

Then, work hard at making these strengths the BEST. Make what works best for YOU, THE BEST. This is amplifying your strengths.

So, it follows that to achieve your potential, you need to SIMPLIFY TO AMPLIFY.

Have no fear.

Remember: No risk, no nothing (with positive thinking – not delusion thinking).

Choose well.

Until next time,

Explaining the fine points of re-engineering the physique and increased self-awareness through enhanced ‘mind-muscle’ connection..

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What do Sit-ups and Sex have in common?

Complementing Phil’s weight-training session with a bit of light boxing in his body re-engineering program.
Student achieving success in one of my programs: Retired former Australian Wallaby & Waratah Captain – Phil Waugh.
Champion Results from a Champion Attitude with a Champion Program.

Well, what do you think?

Sweat … heat … smell ?

Before I tell you what they have in common after over 23 years performing them and helping hundreds of people perform it better, let me share with you a story of a member of a gym I used to own for seven years. Let’s call him Bruce.

Bruce had been a loyal member for close to 30 years. He was an intimidating but a very likeable, straight-to-the-point, anti-status quo, intolerant to ‘bs’ sort-of-a-guy.

My kind of guy – I liked him.

Now, I love observing behaviour and it didn’t take me long to see the repetitive nature and predictability of his workouts, which he religiously performed three times a week. He always did his abdominal sit-ups at the end of his workout and I noticed he did his two favourite exercises. They were:

Roman-chair sit-ups (incline crunches off an incline bench)
Crunches (off the floor)

One day, he was in the middle of his workout when he got a phone call. I then learned that he had a new girlfriend and he thought she was quite special. It was early in his relationship but he was already being pressured in to rushing his workouts.

She wanted him to spend less time in the gym. She thought that 3 times per week for 45 minutes at a time was too much time. He told me that she was always interrupting his workout when he was doing his abdominals.

I asked him how many repetitions he did for his abdominals, and I learned that he did about 400. I asked him how long he took and he said it could be anything between 10 and 15 minutes. It was a third of his workout time!

Too much if you asked me.

I thought it was quite excessive for the goals he was trying to achieve. I asked him to perform a number of repetitions. He was doing them but was not focusing on the technique. A lot of technique goes in to training every muscle group and the abdominal region is no different.

I asked him if he would like to learn an alternative approach. An approach that would reduce the number of repetitions to 30 which would mean he would spend less time in the gym, his new girlfriend would not be so irritated and he would spend more time with her.

He was hungry to learn my alternative approach.

Well, I told him that I did not ‘work’ my abdominals directly and don’t do anywhere near the number of repetitions he did but I had a ‘6-pack’ and he didn’t.

30 reps done properly. That’s all you need to do in the gym

If I was preparing for a body-building contest, I would maybe work them directly at least once per week in the last month leading up to the contest. Otherwise, they (the abs) get are indirectly worked every time I lift weights. It is the most worked muscle group in my body because of the way I approach every rep of every set of every exercise.

I don’t do anything near the number of repetitions that he was doing. 400 was excessive.

So, I told him to reduce the types of exercises he performed from 2 to 1. Let’s get you to remove the roman chair sit-ups”, I said. Let’s simplify things.

He was a little apprehensive but he accepted the change if it meant spending less time in the gym and because of his desire to spend more time with his new love was exemplary. I admired him for this.

I told him it wasn’t how much you do, it’s how you do it. An important key is the breathing technique during each repetition, something he was not aware of and was not practising.

My goal was to show him how he could do 30 ‘good’ sit-ups and not 400 and ‘feel’ the difference. He performed it as I directed and could not believe the intense feeling he was feeling only after ten repetitions.

He was convinced.

He couldn’t believe that he learned a more efficient, more effective way to work his abdominals after over 30 years of training them a certain way. That is why ‘practise does not make perfect as a person could be practising something all his life but practising it WRONG.

Instead, PERFECT PRACTISE MAKES PERFECT!

Brings me to the one similarity that sit-ups have in common with sex: that it is QUALITY rather than QUANTITY that matters.

Just like Bruce, every person I have ever trained have been made aware of how to ‘work their abs’ with quality in mind. They all have felt the difference and have spent less time doing it and unnecessary repetitions. Less time, better results.

Be YOU. No one else can do better than you at being YOU.
Being the best you can be is probably the single most powerful thing you can do to improve the world.
Just find YOU and then …. improve you.
Sculpturing a better you with weights helps re-shape your physique but also your brain wiring.

A winning formula!

Now, most of you know how to ‘work’ your abs and muscles by now. Here are a few pointers for you when doing sit-ups:

Keep it simple.
Breathing correctly to maximize benefit is essential (breathe out at the point of contraction)
Lay on a flat surface (preferably on the floor) with your legs up and ankles crossed, with your hands behind your head.
Breathe out as you lift your head towards your knees
Go as far as you can, keeping your tummy tight (focusing on your exhale on the upward phase and inhaling as you return to the starting position).
Repeat 30 times.

It is very important that you don’t pull on your head as you come up, and you should keep your shoulders and back relaxed. Your hands are meant to be behind your head for support only.

An Efficient, Effective and Safer way towards a flatter, tighter, stronger mid-section. What more do you need!

Go ahead and make this change. See the difference.

One crunch – one rep at a time with quality, not quantity in mind. And remember, practise does not make perfect. Perfect practise makes perfect.

Just like sex.

Enjoy!

Until next time,

Cheers and Ahoy!!

The old Captain Viking Pirate … & his thoughts and words on similarity between working your abs and sex.

Each rep of every set of every exercise is an opportunity for a person to connect with the muscle group he or she intends to.
The right mix of tempo, control, continuous tension and feel is critical.
Executed properly, under an experienced eye, allows one to bridge the muscles with the mind.
Practise does not make perfect. PERFECT PRACTISE MAKES PERFECT!

Working out in my gym during a photo shoot. You can see that I carry my ‘6 pack’ with me wherever I go. So, I don’t need to drink alcohol … I’m always drunk ha ha ha !

My claim: – The world’s BEST Energy & VITALITY Coaching Conversationalist –

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We Stand Alone.

If you could look in to a crystal ball and see the future, what would your legacy be? What would it look like? I have always thought about this question, more so, since my children came in to this world. I am sure you have too.

Would the line of men starting from you be men of integrity, men of honour … men who are true, authentic leaders? Or, would they be un-Godly men, from generation to generation without a clue of what it means to be a leader?

Would your descendants be men who are confused on what it is to be a man, of what it means to be a leader? Confused leaders appearing from generation to generation, one by one, because they have had no clear-cut role model.

Men who have not discovered their authentic man. Their authentic self.

Well, it starts with YOU.

I have always thought that whatever mistakes the men that have come before me have done, whatever mistakes my father and father’s father had done will end with me. The future Valentines begin with me.

The destiny of the future generations I see in the crystal ball rests in my hands. Your future generations of Men in your line rests in your hands, too.

No one else but me. Just like there is no one else in your line, except you.

Give him the scaffolding in your son’s life to help him, help himself build & live a life of significance. With a foundation of good etiquette/manners.

We stand alone.

The choices that you make with your family today will determine the quality of life in your family tree for generations to come. That is why one man – YOU – can make a difference. You can have a say with how the future turns out, so have your say damn it!

Plant your Oak Tree now.

To all the dads reading this, remember this one thing: You can call yourself a HERO without going to war by just saving your boy(s), your son(s). It will be the greatest and most fulfilling task of your life. Make that commitment today.

I know I have.

Be the role model your son needs before it is too late. Please. Don’t fail our sons like so many men have done over past generations. Besides, we owe it to them too because let’s be honest, they have helped us become better adults.

The fathers of today – all of us, need to be there for our sons, the men of the future. We must not fail them. We must be there for them, NOW, not tomorrow, not next month, not when they are teenagers. By then, it will be too late. They need to be shown the way and assisted, maybe, even help be the wind beneathe his wings like that famous Bette Middler. As Willaim Blake stated:

“No bird soars too high if he flies with his own wings”.

Look around us now, look around at what is happening to the world. Where have all the real leaders gone? There is not enough of them around anymore?

It starts with all of us MEN … all of us FATHERS. And what makes a good father? Maybe, it can be explained as simply as this :

“A good father is simply, a little bit of a mother” as Lee Salk suggested.

In my over two decades of helping and guiding young men in the gym, I have found that there is an inverse relationship with time spent with a child in their younger years and conflict in later years. You see, less time spent with children in younger years can result in more time spent with keeping these young men out of trouble and harm’s way in teenage and early twenties years.

Society might show signs that role models do not exist anymore. That children only see role models in sports stars and musicians and eccentric characters.

No, I do not wish to believe this.

It is up to each and every one of us, dads in particular, to grab on to our role model responsibilities. Each of us can change our own little world, in a way that only we know how.

Fathers, dads reading this, let’s be honest with ourselves, we all make mistakes. I like to think that we’re all flawed heroes, that’s what I tell my son and daughter. We have all made bad decisions. I know I have. Some of these decisions have to be reversed.

If you have accepted a promotion and transfer that takes you a step higher up the corporate ladder at the expense of your kids, think again. Maybe you need to re-think and reverse the decision. Take a step back now for your future generations.

I think providing for our kids is important but don’t lose focus, Men. What is important here, what is it that you as a Dad need to bestow on your children, especially your son(s) – the men of the future – while you have the opportunity to do so?

My son and I.
Provide the best blueprint you can of what it means to be a man.
He needs you now more than ever.
Save him now so that tomorrow’s world will be saved too.
Vv.

Love them unconditionally

What’s more important than providing a life of ease for them is ensuring they know you love them unconditionally.

It is inevitable that they will de-glorify us dads and us, parents when they are older and replace us with other role models. But, hopefully, before this happens, you would have planted the Oak seed of your character so firmly in their minds that, future generations of men will lead with true vision and purpose.

All because of you.

All because you stood alone.

United, if every father reading this, if every man makes this commitment to himself for his future generation of men – his seeds, that crystal ball of yours will show generation after generation of our men being true leaders.

United in this cause, we can change the world. Change its future for the better. Build a world of better leaders. A world where these men (and women) truly understand what it means to be a leader and that is to inspire.

Individually, we have the power to change our own little worlds. We can change the lives of our little men. To do our part and make our own little contribution to society, it is a lonely place but you must persevere for their future …. For …. Our future, too.

But to do this … we stand alone within our little family, knowing that we are not alone nor lonely. Because we know in our heart that we are united through a spirit of belief, that we are shaping better leaders, better decision-makers that will run our world – tomorrow, when we are all old and grey.

We are making this investment in our sons now ….. For a better tomorrow.

So, stand up, stand your ground. Love that son of yours like you have never loved another male before. Unconditionally. Win this battle today to win the war, tomorrow.

We stand alone to …. Stand united in this worthwhile cause!

Until next time,

Popeye Pirate Paul … & the exciting adventures of being a parent

The old Captain Viking Pirate & his Gritty Warrior Viking Pirate son … enjoying some ‘Father-son” experience.
These moments get etched into the memory bank of great experiences.
Build these up.

Changing lives. Empowering people. One life at a time.

Triple A to Life: Awareness. Action. Adaptation.

Category Archives: better choices

Adam needed Eve.

A Re-think.

Shoulder Boulders.

My E.T surprises.

Be an instrument, not an object.

Equal friendship.

Are you the master or slave to your “shadow”?

Simplify to Amplify.

What do Sit-ups and Sex have in common?

We Stand Alone.