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My E.T surprises.

It’s odd and funny at the same time, when I think about it, that my wife still remains extra-terrestrial (E.T) or alien-enough to surprise me. Even after living together for almost fifteen years.

Do you feel the same about your wife? Does she remain alien-like?

I mean you would think you know her by now and can see through all her tricks right? You know her walk, her talk, her favourite foods and which foods she would find disgusting. You know when she isn’t really in a good mood and needs some space. You think you know her – right?

And then one day, she surprises you!

Wow, isn’t that a beautiful thing – to be surprised by the woman you’ve chosen to spend the rest of your life with. This surprise, this seemingly small thing can have such a significant effect on you. This appreciation can literally increase your awareness, not only of you and your environment but more importantly of your woman. This little surprise has the power to ‘wake you up’ and make you realize what you may have forgotten for a while.

“And what is that?” I hear you say.

The surprise this alien-like person has given you makes you realize that she is her own person. She is NOT an extension of you. She is not a supporting actress of you in a private drama you have written, starring in, producing and directing. No, she is a distinct, unique individual with unique, individual dreams and aspirations and hopes. She is starring in her own movie of her own life, in which she is directing.

Sometimes, like right now when I look at my wife, Cathy sleeping, unaware of me, as beautiful and peaceful as the prettiest sun-rise you can imagine. The face of a sleeping woman, in particular – the face of this sleeping woman, is profound and surreal. Truly a thing of beauty to observe and experience. This face with its natural beauty and balance, with it’s soft lines and delicate symmetry. With it’s hidden eyes and shut lips and amazing curves. A true blessing to witness.

These shut lips are saying to me “fifteen years are barely enough to get beneathe the skin, let alone to the heart – of the mystery that is a woman.”

This mystery woman is my wife. Somehow after fifteen years together, I don’t think a life-time is enough time to understand this mystery, alien-like woman. She is a sweet stranger, beyond the knowing of a lifetime and that is ok with me. It should be ok for you too, when it comes to your wife.

I just love this photo of my wife. My E.T.

I just love this photo of my wife.
My loving E.T who still surprises me.

And do you want to know why that is ok?

Well, because this E.T beautiful being simply surprises me even after all these years. I am glad for that because it renews our marriage. In most important things in life, it is the little things that matter.

Remember: Elephants don’t bite, mosquitoes do. Marriage, like all other complex dynamical systems in nature is extremely sensitive to the little things in life, like these E.T surprises.

These complex dynamical systems (like marriage) are highly sensitive because they are always changing, always on the move, never static, never returning to its original or initial states. The woman and man’s individual complex and dynamic selves are like the changing river of time, changing and adapting within the umbrella of the union of marriage.

As the great Greek philosopher Heraclitus stipulated:

“You can never step into the river of time twice, though it is the same river.”

So, step well my friends.

My E.T surprises that my wife gives me unsettles the regularity and order of the complex dynamical system that is the marriage, providing a wave of chaos or disorder. This is not a bad thing, it is a good thing.

Indeed, I believe it is part of the richness of life.  My life is enriched in every sense of the word with her in it and I wouldn’t have it any other way. My love for this E.T never stops increasing.

All the best in your love for your alien E.T too.

 

Until next time,

Sharing the snow with my E.T.

Sharing the snow with my loving E.T.

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When to unleash your “HULK”.

The "Most Muscular" (HULK) pose in the sport of Body-building. Roaarrr!!!

The “Most Muscular” (HULK) pose in the sport of Body-building.
Roaarrr!!!

We all get angry now and then.

That’s something everyone reading this blog and every citizen of the world have in common. I have always been fascinated with the Marvel Universe characters, one of which is the “Hulk”. To a little extent, I like to imagine that every person has a super-hero in them. That we all have some superhero power.

In this blog, I would argue that there is a Hulk in every one of us.

What’s important is not that we all have that Hulk that could awaken at a moment’s notice but that we get better at managing that Hulk – that anger. Knowing when to unleash your Hulk.

You see, in dealing with thousands of people of all ages in all walks of life in more than two decades in the gym environment, one of the observations I have made is that different people use anger to hide different feelings. The interesting thing is that a lot of times a lot of people don’t know the real reason they are angry.

Think about you when you get angry. Do you use anger to cover different emotions at different times?

Having children brings out the best in every parent and I think many, if not all parents reading this would agree. This includes the best of ‘anger’ too. Having children teaches you many things, one of which is patience and your tolerance for it. “Zachary, can you stop kicking the car seat please!” and then a few minutes later … “For the hundredth time, Zachary, stop kicking the car seat please!”.

Your patience is constantly tested by your children as you do your best to control that lever that releases the Hulk or anger. It is a daily constant battle at times.

Two principles of building muscle: 1) Simplicity and 2} Continuity. Become aware; Apply action: Adapt accordingly.

Two principles of building muscle: 1) Simplicity and 2} Continuity.
Become aware; Apply action: Adapt accordingly.

In this phase of his life, my son’s curiosity encourages him to push limits – push beyond his own physical, mental and emotional limits and also push us – my wife and I, beyond our limits too. An interesting phase in our lives to say the least.

I have learned that, as parents, we MUST be permissive to our children’s feelings while setting limits to their action, when appropriate. One of the problems most, if not, all parents face is: when to use discipline and when to GIVE IN; when to be firm and when to be easy; when to give TOUGH LOVE and when to show CARE AND EMPATHY.

At one point or another, we all find ourselves asking ourselves the question: “Is this the moment to be accepting and empathise so that my child will not be afraid of his feelings?” or “should I put my foot down so he understands that he cannot get away with this?”

What I have found is that there are NO SET RULES TO FOLLOW.

Each situation must be handled separately but this is not as difficult as it sounds.

As an owner of a gym for 7 years, I found myself constantly resolving conflicts – conflicts between members, conflicts between members and their family members, internal conflicts of members and conflicts in general. What I found was that the first response I chose to a situation SET THE TONE for how traumatically an event will be taken. I have also found that this is a very good approach to keep in mind when dealing with children too.

It seems to work with my ability to manage conflicts with my two kids.

When one of my children is hurting, I have found that compounding it by reacting with angry words or action (and letting the HULK out) does not add to the solution. Instead, responding with initial softness and empathy, helps more. I think it allows the child to see that if me or my wife (Dad or mum) aren’t panicking, maybe, just maybe, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

The philosophy you follow heavily influences whether you achieve your goals in life or not.

The philosophy you follow heavily influences whether you achieve your goals in life or not.

Where does this ability to be permissive and initiate softness and keep from panicking come from? It comes from WITHIN. The same place the HULK lies dormant. It is a choice. It is a choice that is made by you, the parent, in the good times – the quiet times. That is the best time. The best time to decide on how you respond to a child’s mis-behaviour.

Because if you didn’t decide on such an approach/response or similar, then chaos would prevail and anger or the Hulk will be default system you will react on. There isn’t time to think about ways to prevent a fire, in the MIDDLE OF A FIRE!

If you’re religious, you will believe that GOD works all things unto good.

So, when difficulty first happens, don’t lecture your children, panic or commence scolding. Allowing them to feel the hurt, the anger and initially responding to their behaviour with calm comforting lays an important foundation. A foundation that will allow them to find value in their experience.

Yes, it is much easier to just release the HULK, but it takes a lot of strength to keep it at bay. Calmness comes from within. For you Christians or members of other religious denominations reading this, calmness comes from God’s word. For those of you not so religiously inclined, think of this calmness as being already a part of you. Part of your “inner-self”.

THERE IS A TIME AND PLACE FOR GENUINE, APPROPRIATE ANGER. There is a time and place to let the HULK out. For instance, most of us would respond to injustice and cruelty with anger. Healthy anger can be channelled towards constructively making our world a better place to live in. Healthy anger can be transmuted when one trains with weights. This is one of the un-sung benefits of weight-training with moderate to heavy weights. When executed properly, negative energy (anger) is transmuted through the iron and replaced with a charge of positive energy and vitality.

Anger or the HULK, when released with the appropriate intensity and direction is very positive and a good thing. This is partly because painful trials or conflicts that challenge the threat of the release of our anger/the HULK, produces something encouraging. It produces maturity and growth. 

This maturity and growth ultimately leads to LOVE.

Your challenge: become better at controlling the Hulk within. Don’t be afraid to let it out and work on becoming increasingly aware of when to unleash your Hulk. But, only release your Hulk – when appropriate, and with a proportional response.

Roaarrrrr!!!

Until next time,

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We Stand Alone.

My son Zachary and I at a family member's wedding. A lovely day.

If you could look in to a crystal ball and see the future, what would your legacy be? What would it look like? I have always thought about this question, more so, since my children came in to this world. I am sure you have too.

Would the line of men starting from you be men of integrity, men of honour … men who are true, authentic leaders? Or, would they be un-Godly men, from generation to generation without a clue of what it means to be a leader?

Would your descendants be men who are confused on what it is to be a man, of what it means to be a leader? Confused leaders appearing from generation to generation, one by one, because they have had no clear-cut role model.

Men who have not discovered their authentic man. Their authentic self.

Well, it starts with YOU.

I have always thought that whatever mistakes the men that have come before me have done, whatever mistakes my father and father’s father had done will end with me. The future Valentines begin with me.

The destiny of the future generations I see in the crystal ball rests in my hands. Your future generations of Men in your line rests in your hands, too.

No one else but me. Just like there is no one else in your line, except you.

Give him the scaffolding in your son’s life to help him, help himself build & live a life of significance. With a foundation of good etiquette/manners.

We stand alone.

The choices that you make with your family today will determine the quality of life in your family tree for generations to come. That is why one man – YOU – can make a difference. You can have a say with how the future turns out, so have your say damn it!

Plant your Oak Tree now.

To all the dads reading this, remember this one thing: You can call yourself a HERO without going to war by just saving your boy(s), your son(s). It will be the greatest and most fulfilling task of your life. Make that commitment today.

I know I have.

Be the role model your son needs before it is too late. Please. Don’t fail our sons like so many men have done over past generations. Besides, we owe it to them too because let’s be honest, they have helped us become better adults.

The fathers of today – all of us, need to be there for our sons, the men of the future. We must not fail them. We must be there for them, NOW, not tomorrow, not next month, not when they are teenagers. By then, it will be too late. They need to be shown the way and assisted, maybe, even help be the wind beneathe his wings like that famous Bette Middler. As Willaim Blake stated:

“No bird soars too high if he flies with his own wings”.

Look around us now, look around at what is happening to the world. Where have all the real leaders gone? There is not enough of them around anymore?

It starts with all of us MEN … all of us FATHERS. And what makes a good father? Maybe, it can be explained as simply as this :

“A good father is simply, a little bit of a mother” as Lee Salk suggested.

In my over two decades of helping and guiding young men in the gym, I have found that there is an inverse relationship with time spent with a child in their younger years and conflict in later years. You see, less time spent with children in younger years can result in more time spent with keeping these young men out of trouble and harm’s way in teenage and early twenties years.

Society might show signs that role models do not exist anymore. That children only see role models in sports stars and musicians and eccentric characters.

No, I do not wish to believe this.

It is up to each and every one of us, dads in particular, to grab on to our role model responsibilities. Each of us can change our own little world, in a way that only we know how.

Fathers, dads reading this, let’s be honest with ourselves, we all make mistakes. I like to think that we’re all flawed heroes, that’s what I tell my son and daughter. We have all made bad decisions. I know I have. Some of these decisions have to be reversed.

If you have accepted a promotion and transfer that takes you a step higher up the corporate ladder at the expense of your kids, think again. Maybe you need to re-think and reverse the decision. Take a step back now for your future generations.

I think providing for our kids is important but don’t lose focus, Men. What is important here, what is it that you as a Dad need to bestow on your children, especially your son(s) – the men of the future – while you have the opportunity to do so?

My son and I.
Provide the best blueprint you can of what it means to be a man.
He needs you now more than ever.
Save him now so that tomorrow’s world will be saved too.
Vv.

Love them unconditionally

What’s more important than providing a life of ease for them is ensuring they know you love them unconditionally.

It is inevitable that they will de-glorify us dads and us, parents when they are older and replace us with other role models. But, hopefully, before this happens, you would have planted the Oak seed of your character so firmly in their minds that, future generations of men will lead with true vision and purpose.

All because of you.

All because you stood alone.

United, if every father reading this, if every man makes this commitment to himself for his future generation of men – his seeds, that crystal ball of yours will show generation after generation of our men being true leaders.

United in this cause, we can change the world. Change its future for the better. Build a world of better leaders. A world where these men (and women) truly understand what it means to be a leader and that is to inspire.

Individually, we have the power to change our own little worlds. We can change the lives of our little men. To do our part and make our own little contribution to society, it is a lonely place but you must persevere for their future …. For …. Our future, too.

But to do this … we stand alone within our little family, knowing that we are not alone nor lonely. Because we know in our heart that we are united through a spirit of belief, that we are shaping better leaders, better decision-makers that will run our world – tomorrow, when we are all old and grey.

We are making this investment in our sons now ….. For a better tomorrow.

So, stand up, stand your ground. Love that son of yours like you have never loved another male before. Unconditionally. Win this battle today to win the war, tomorrow.

We stand alone to …. Stand united in this worthwhile cause!

Until next time,

Popeye Pirate Paul … & the exciting adventures of being a parent

The old Captain Viking Pirate & his Gritty Warrior Viking Pirate son … enjoying some ‘Father-son” experience.
These moments get etched into the memory bank of great experiences.
Build these up.

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Is it safe for children to weight-train?

Working the guns.

Playing with weights is as safe for children as it is for adults. Like all things, boundaries and limits are to be applied.

I have been asked many questions relating to health and fitness and weight training over the last 23 years in the gym.

If I knew the answer to the question of when it is safe for children to weight train, I would be lying. However, after all that time and my love of deducing conclusions from simply observations of consistent trends around me, I would like to attempt to provide a solution.

I will use my powers of reasoning I have developed in my 40 years on this earth, so far.

Here we go ….

My son Zachary, doing weights even before he could all properly

Leading Legends

I am truly inspired by older generations who have maintained resistance training for most of their lives. Almost all of them look and feel like someone 10, 15 even 20 years younger.

“Leading Legends” – that’s what I call them. They are great examples of making it part of lifestyle.

Some of them used to tell me about how perceptions have changed over the last 50 years in regards to exercise in general and in particular – the many myths relating to weight training.

There were and still are many myths relating to weight training. There was a time when people were saying that weight training wasn’t good for women. Before that athletes like rugby players were told to stay away from weight training as it would ‘slow’ them down – this wasn’t too long ago – even in the 70s.

And even further back, it was even questioned whether weight training was in fact good for anyone at all. Times change and myths get busted. Myths are just that – myths and are meant to be dis-proven.

It is only in more recent times that the general public has accepted that weight-training is of enormous benefit to women too. I am so happy about the increase in women attending gyms as I have seen this landscape change quite a bit over the last two decades.

Now, my question is if weight training is now believed to be of enormous benefit for men and women, why shouldn’t it be good for children? After all isn’t exercise good for everyone?

My son Zachary would crawl around my Family Gym that I owned & managed for 7 years. He used to remove the pins from the machines to the dismay of the members

To weight train – you do one thing 

The truth or my version of ‘the truth’ in my straight-forward answer is that weight training can benefit any individual – young or old – who is healthy enough to engage in the activity. But that is just my opinion.

I have helped hundreds of people of all ages – kids under ten (including my children) all the way to people in their 90s. Human physiology is the same no matter what age. To weight train – you do one thing: work the muscles. To do this, you literally extend and contract that particular muscle under tension/force provided by the weight.

Simple. Right?

The very old and the very young and everyone in-between can do that. It’s what muscles are meant to do: to ‘work’ for you.

There are still myths relating to children training even in today’s world. The biggest fear amongst parents appear to be the possible negative effects on the development of children prior to puberty – that lifting stunts the growth of children.

If this was the case, the famous Arnold Schwarzenegger would should not have grown to 6’2” as he started lifting weights well before he hit puberty. I am not a Doctor but I believe this irrational fear is unfounded medically.

My daughter on the leg extension machine in my a family gym

How are risk assessments done?
My question is if weight-training was a height depressant, why is it that considerable growth can sometimes take place in the ‘post-puberty’ years. And if this was a medical fact, then, everyone should only start weight-training when their full height potential has been reached. For some, this would be well in to their early twenties.

The issue as I see it relates to the formation and growth of bones. I can understand the parents’ worries, including my family Doctor’s. From what I understand about what I have read about bones, the process of bone formation and growth is hopelessly complex and wonderfully simple at the same time.

If I recall correctly, Tiger Woods picked up and was training in golf from the age of 2 and was coached by his dad. Leytton Hewitt began playing tennis around the age of 3. Some top swimmers were undergoing stringent 4am early-morning training programs from a very young age, where parents were driving them to and from swimming pools. I know because I had good friends that were doing that when we were in Primary School.

Not many made the Olympics.

Is this any different to subjecting a child to some gym training under supervision in a gym? How is it that the perception of risk of a child in the gym is greater than that of a child on a soccer field, swimming pool, golf course or rugby field? What about a child playing tennis or netball? How are these risk assessments done?

I believe the risks to a child and his or her growing bones and muscles is higher with the other sporting activities compared to the risks associated with supervised structured weight-training.

With some of the members of my Family gym
Playing around with some ‘light weights’ … that children can also play with

A better athlete gets better results.

In my opinion the risk to bones, joints and muscle development and overall health risk (injuries from knocks to the brain and head in Rugby or other contact sports) is greater to the young kids playing most sporting activity outside the gym, compared to structured activity in the gym. My assessment of risks of these contact sports is VERY HIGH to EXTREME, because of the repetitive knocks to the head and recurring concussions.

I believe proper muscular development assisted by a well-structured weight-training program, complements whatever sporting activity a child/person chooses.

It simply makes them a better athlete. A better athlete gets better results.

The risks to the joints of the other sporting activities – like golf, tennis, netball, swimming, running etc is HIGH. The wear and tear to the joints is very high.

The joints are over used, and there is accelerated wear and tear and it shortens the effective useful life of your body. Just like any other machine of value you possess – say a car, for example. Depreciation rates can vary depending on how you use and service your machines.

Most individuals then suffer from premature ageing (from over-use) of joints and really suffer uncomfortable daily living later on in life. However, the risks to the child’s self-esteem; sense of self-worth and interest need to also be monitored too. Participants can be severely negatively affected because of the constant expectations of tolerance levels.

Weight-training done safely and under appropriate supervision is a safer and more beneficial to a child’s whole-self development then any other physical activity there is. Weight-training complements and helps make a child better at whichever sport they choose to participate in.

It is only now that tightening of regulations are being implemented to address not only some current risks but also long-term risks sustained by athletes.

My children are as comfortable with a set of light dumbells, not dissimilar to young budding soccer players or tennis juniors with footballs and rackets in camp and sporting academies. In this controlled soccer environments, no one appears to question the deliberate practises these children are forced to undertake in non-weight-bearing activities and how safe it is.

My son and I hanging out in my Family Gym

Just because a big majority of people are sending their kids there does not mean it is the safest or have the lowest risks.

Or how many instances of injuries are sustained by the very young, many of whom are regularly seeing physios and chiros at an age that is unheard of only a few decades ago.

What does this tell us? About the risks these kids are putting themselves under, the full extent will become evident in their later years.

People are only too quick to place gym training as a high risk but this is yet another myth and here is where I believe the problem is:

It is the inability of parents and administrators of sporting activities to initially correctly assess the level of risks. Yes, self-limiting beliefs unfairly bestowed on to children by parents who know no better.

Maybe they just need to adopt a new thinking paradigm that assists in the development of the ability to assess risks of activities and whether or not the risk is acceptable to them.

Time will bust these myths.

Big Truths will always beat Big Lies.

Believe in BETTER.

Make better choices with the life that you have left, with the lives of your children. Time on this planet is all that we really have anyway and one day … that will be taken from all of us.

This is one of those BIG TRUTHS or is this a BIG LIE? Anyone believe this is a MYTH?

All the best.

Until next time,

 

My wife & kids hanging out with me for a few hours in our Family Gym. The gym was my children’s playground.

Learning and absorbing our habits every single day of their initial phase of their lives is what our young Princes do.
Teach them well.

 

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Choosing a gym.

True.

Your philosophy matters

A common fear among people who have never been to a gym and even current gym enthusiasts is feeling a little intimidated when they are there. The atmosphere of some gyms can be quite intimidating indeed for some.

I know I felt that same feeling many, many years ago when I first summoned the courage to enter a gym. After a few tries, you will get over this initial feeling of discomfort – something all trainees will have to deal with at some time.

Now, I could go through a top 10 things to consider when assessing which gym deserves your patronage such as – cleanliness, Equipment conditions, equipment in general, personal training services, locker availability and cost etc but I won’t.

Why? Well, you could easily do this yourself on the internet these days and maybe even get on a web-site that compares gyms and ranks them based on your buying criteria. A common method of deciding on a choice if you are that inclined.

However I believe that sometimes, in life it is more fruitful if you make your decision that is the best for you not based on your ‘need’.

No, sometimes in life, you need to base your decision on what resonates with your philosophy in life. If you don’t, then you may well find yourself (like hundreds of thousands of gym goers world-wide) jumping from gym to gym, searching. Searching for the gym that best suits their needs.

Your philosophy matters.

With Margaret and her guide dog. She was such a lovely human being. Never said never.
I trained her daughter (who was also partially blind) to represent Australia at the Paralympics.
She was one tough school girl with a lot of GRIT. Just like her mum.
Choose a gym that resonates and agrees with your philosophy of life.

Choosing a gym is an ínternal’ exercise, not an éxternal’ one

It is highly likely that you will not find your answer to your dissatisfaction by constantly switching gyms (for whatever reasons you generate). Instead you will likely grow tired and you will eventually feel de-motivated, like millions of trainees worldwide do. When this sets in, you can kiss your work-outs goodbye!

Sad, I know … but true.

After being in and around gyms for almost thirty years now and owning my own family gym for about seven years, here’s what I believe you need to do:

  1. Determine your philosophy on life – ascertain what you value in life, what are you principles?
  2. Find a gym that is aligned to this.

I am almost 100% certain that you will be content. This is not an exercise in ‘external search’ for a gym but it is an exercise in ‘internal search’ for the Real YOU. What I am trying to say is that choosing a gym is an internal exercise, not an external one.

For some, this search for a different gym and never being satisfied may be a manifestation of a deep seated fear of rejection that may likely go back to their formative years where they may have been subjected to ‘conditional love’. This manifestation becomes an obsession with what other people think and fuels this search for that elusive gym that meets all their needs.

Me and my family of extended family of members.
I created an environment to replace something I was missing living in a busy, big city like Sydney: the intimacy and connectedness of a truly local and extended family feel that I grew up with in my youth in Fiji.
I missed my éxtended family’ and this served my needs and the members needs too

The perfect gym does not exist

You won’t find that, a gym that meets all your needs, that is. It is like searching for “Mr Right” … or “Mrs Perfect”. They don’t exist like the perfect gym that meets ALL your needs does not exist. Accept that the Perfect gym does not exist. What exists is a person or a gym that meets most of your key needs and resonate with your philosophy on life.

I must warn you though: it is not an easy exercise. It can be a little scary. Remember though that all negative habit patterns can be overcome by giving your mind new nutritional thoughts. The most powerful, most nutritional thought we can think is “I like myself”.

A simple, yet profound statement of belief and I liken it to an anti-biotic for the mind. Makes you feel better after repeating the statement for a period of time. Try it, see how you feel.

A hallmark of a mature human being like you is the acceptance of total responsibility for your life and all the decisions you have made to date. The acceptance of total responsibility is a line in the sand in your life that from that point, you have no more excuses.

Your feeling of personal freedom and total control of your life and happiness is a direct product of your acceptance of total responsibility. This includes your responsibility to investing time in your health and fitness.

So – Accept. Totally.

Then ….

Me my extended family members; a group of members of my family gym.
They all loved training and being part of the extended family that was my gym

Join the club that chooses you

Join the gym that is aligned with your values and principles. Join the club that chooses you.  I prefer good old-school gyms (very few around these days) where there are a good selection of free-weights (barbells and dumbells) and good benches, a power rack or cage (to let the animal inside of you out).

A gym that has outstanding free-weights equipment and the best ambience wins, hands-down all the time for me.

Personally, I prefer a gym that doesn’t treat you like a number. Where everyone knows your name and your know theirs. Where people talk to each other instead of just connecting with a machine. A gym where if you’re absent, people notice it. A gym like they used to be – a social club. Like the gym I owned and managed for about seven years of my life, a real ‘family gym’. I was so connected to each and every member that they would tell me of their travel plans and almost everything about themselves and their families and ups-and-downs in their lives.

My life was intricately connected to each person, so much so that if I noticed that they hadn’t come for a while, I would personally call them up ( I wouldn’t get my staff to call them). If I didn’t get them (and if they lived alone), I would drive over to their residence to see if they were ók’.

Believe me when I say that I had intervened in many people’s lives and brought them back to this reality. There were people that no one called up on, except for me. There were people that, if I hadn’t knocked on their door of their residence to see if they were ok, they wouldn’t be here today. That was one of my roles as a caring, trusting and compassionate gym owner.

Members of my éxtended family’ also connected over food (protein for the hard-working muscles) and beer (for the biceps peak)
We were a family in more ways then just one (training together)

What type of Gym Goer are YOU?

Join a ‘type’ of gym goer. What type are you?

Feel ‘connected’ with a real person instead of being connected through technology mediums. Talk to other patrons of the gym (the way my old school gym was, where everyone spoke to one another and knew each other’s names. Just a big extended family, like I lived in my early youth, growing up in the paradise islands of Fiji.

You’ll probably find that you would have more in common with more people there then you would be different.

We’re all social beings after all and your time in the gym satisfies one of the most basic of human needs in a very healthy way – our innate social need.

And become the … the … social animal that you know you are but instead of swapping alcoholic recipes, you’ll be sharing protein shake concoctions. Realising this and accepting it in your life can make you look on the bright side of life more readily. It could move you closer to the elusive ‘happiness’ state … something that the world can learn from the Happiest Citizens on this planet: Fiji.

Just so happens, I was born and lived my early youth in Fiji and understand why Fijians are the happiest people on this earth, a few of the many reasons why are touched on in my words above. Find your gym by allowing the ‘fijian’ in you to speak to you.

All the very best in your choice!

Until next time,

Cheers & Ahoy!

 

The old Captain Viking Pirate …. & choosing the right gym for YOU

Building your strength in the gym is only one definition of what it means to be ‘strong’

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Sometimes, local is BEST.

 

You learn from children and then learn from us.
It is a two-way learning experience, not one way (parents to children like some people think)

My children love going on holidays. They love being on holidays during school holidays.

They have just experienced Christmas and New Year’s celebrations and are still on holidays.

My wife and I decided a while back that we will try and experience more of Sydney, more of NSW, more of Australia before we embark on our discovery of all the other ‘foreign places to visit before you die’.

We just love ‘holidaying local’.

I recently asked my wife her view of the benefits of holidaying local and we agreed on quite a few points and the top 3 were:

  1. We experience less stress
  2. We would like to be made more aware and make our children more aware of the beauty and variety of local destinations and the excellent service they keep.
  3. We get to enjoy all the comforts that we would like to enjoy at a fraction of the cost

Don’t get me wrong, overseas travel is wonderful too. The lure of a different culture and people and food. All fantastic. However, there is so much of Australia I have not seen and have not experienced yet and one of my ambitions is to learn more of the country and its people that I have adopted.

So much to absorb. So little time.

The thing about overseas holidays that really get to me is that even up to the point of getting through the gates and on to the plane, we all seem to be rushing around. Trying to be busy. Sometimes it certainly seems that you have to speed up to slow down, which is, funnily enough the ultimate goal of being on a holiday.

We’re looking to ‘soft our minds’.

When you’re holidaying local, you don’t seem to have that problem. You firstly just tell everyone you know that you’re on holidays and treat it strictly like that or don’t tell anyone at all. You don’t take calls and you don’t return calls. You pretend that you’re holidaying overseas. Difficult to do? No, it isn’t. I simply do this by doing exactly what my two children do when they play ‘pretend games’ of princes and princesses and so forth. They don’t come out of their character roles when they play it and so my wife and I try not to either.

We ‘pretend’ we’re on holidays overseas and enjoy all the trappings but with less cost.

Holidaying local allows us to do more of what we love to do when we are on holiday and that is to ‘be on holiday’. Not spending your time travelling and in transit and increasing your stress levels for no real benefit. Nope, I like ‘softening my mind’ when I am holidaying and unlike overseas planned holidays, I like a little bit more certainty.

Like ordering at McDonalds (once in a while for most of us I hope), the certainty of knowing what I am going to get is reassuring to me. I don’t particularly like surprises. I don’t think most people do either.

I try to, however, not to over exaggerate holidays and all the great time my family experiences together during them. Instead, I remind my children that holidaying is something that we do some of the time. When you look at it as a percentage of our total time spent throughout the year, it is very small. So, when we look at it in this frame, we know exactly where to emphasise our existence – and that is in the beauty and chaos of our simple, daily lives.

I’ve always believed that one aspect of a fruitful life is to see opportunities to make the ordinary – extraordinary. Not overseas. Not in your dreams. No, simply in your everyday life. Try to make the everyday a ‘wow’ experience – for you and your loved ones.

You don’t have to look very far. Just look local. Discover more of the beauty and variety of excellent services that are on offer in your local city or neighbouring city. I’m sure you will find something new if you took the effort to look.

That is the thing though – this approach will take some effort, effort on your part to make the ordinary – extraordinary.

Whenever my family eats, one of us says our prayers not only to bless the food but to also to give thanks for all my family’s blessings. ON top of this we ask for God’s guidance and strength to help and guide our family and friends here and abroad. I try to instil in my children, an attitude of gratitude – daily at a young age.

Giving thanks to God, multiple times daily, reminds us to be in the present but more importantly reminds us not to take anything for granted. It reminds us of how lucky we are. It forces my kids to be in the ‘present’.

I also strongly believe that giving gratitude regularly to your GOD and saying THANK YOU for your blessings is like a bridge from where you are now to the life of your dreams.

My children are getting better at praying now. I tell them to think and deliberately ‘feel’ the words of gratitude that we say in our prayers as saying THANK YOU is a ‘feeling’.

Sometimes, just sometimes, it can be better to stay home and enjoy the family home and environment that you inhabit, something that some of us who live very busy lives don’t really get to do. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is to take some time out to ‘soft the mind’.

This is one of the keys to finding your own definition of success in your life as I believe the better you get at ‘softening the mind’ the better you attract success in to your life.

Remember: your mind is the most powerful success tool you have. Give it rest to get it to perform at its best.

 

All the very best to you and your family,

Until next time,

Keeping it simple is key

I AM.
Me .. & my constant companion – Mr Fuzzy/Fussy Cuddles

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Work your giving muscles.

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Give.

Giving is a joy.

For the same reason that we should exercise our bodies, we should GIVE. Your body is functioning at its best when it is forced to work, specifically, when your muscles are forced to work. If you don’t do anything and live a sedentary lifestyle, then in the long term you are actually hurting them and yourself.

It is as simple as that.

The thing about muscle training is that you have to ‘expend some energy’. Some people just don’t want to do that, because it means ‘work’. Work equates to pain which equates to fear of it. That’s certainly a very common way of thinking of lifting weights in the gym, but that’s only one perspective.

Another perspective is that ‘working out’ your muscles, when done properly is one of the greatest and most vital pleasures you can possibly experience in your life.

Your lifetime.

In whatever goal you desire, you need to make sure you understand how to use the tools 🛠 necessary to bring about the change you seek.

Energy Crisis WITHIN.

We are constantly reminded that there is an ‘energy crisis’ in the world today. True, there is. The science says this and politicians argue over interpretation of facts about it. Different perspectives again, on a global scale.

However, the biggest threat to man-kind today is evolving within. I refer to the growing energy crisis WITHIN. Within each individual.

There is a direct correlation between what I call an ‘energy crisis’ within and the increase in sedentary lifestyle choices. If you don’t ‘spend’ any energy in the gym and work your muscles, strangely enough, the result is you will progressively have less strength and energy and VITALITY, than if you had.

This individual energy-crisis physically manifests itself in many life-threatening illnesses – both mentally and physically.

First test. Test YOU, always.

Re-charge.

The gym and weight-training is, I believe, one of the last remaining genuine “re-charge points” available for each and every one of us. Yes, available to you, too. Just like your mobile phone and other modern-day comfort and convenient goods need re-charging and energy to function optimally, you do, too.

The more energy and vitality you re-charge and ‘feel’ within you after expending energy working your muscles is akin to what you will get and feel when you GIVE and don’t expect anything in return.

Do you GIVE it just TAKE?

Are you a Giver or taker.

There are givers and there are takers in this world, but I would like to think there are more givers. Are you a giver or a taker?

Do you exercise your ‘giving muscles’?

“Giving muscles?” I hear you say. “What is that?”

Lets firstly look at what it means to be a “giver”?

We can certainly look up a definition if we google it but I will attempt to explain it by referring to some behavioural traits we observe in people around us, and you.

Well, there are many traits – you could say, giving people offer friendship easily; they are caring and empathetic – not only with their money but emotions and knowledge; they take genuine delight in the good fortune of others.

Education through a perception of the truth.
Increasing your awareness, taking sufficient and appropriate actions and adapting accordingly is key towards self-improvement.
Funny thing is that the process also applies to relationships and response.
Vv

Giving is an Attitude toward Life.

Just like making exercise a part of your life, giving is an attitude toward life than it is a specific act at one time or another. Givers have certain openness about them. Givers don’t seem to speak a lot about their ‘rights’. Givers do what is right. They generally find time to laugh and don’t wallow in self-pity. They are forward-thinkers but learn from the past and are keen observers of the present.

Givers do not run constant cost-benefit analyses to see if an opportunity for generosity is to their advantage. They are likely to not get too attached to the material possessions in their lives.

Help people strengthen their resolve, internally, with their own souls
so… that nothing can tear it out. I give knowledge to those who want to learn.

Want Less, Give More.

There are giving muscles in you, in every one of us. We just need to consciously use it and ‘feel’ the life-giving effects of using it. Feeling its essence. It is, in essence, what it means to be human.

Like training your muscles – for 20, 30, 45 or 60 minutes in the gym, you get back ten times the energy and vitality you expended which re-charges you and your being. Your life. You can’t afford not to invest energy. Give more and ultimately, get more. Add more life in to your years and not just be concerned with getting more years to your life.

Giving is to your benefit – physically, mentally and spiritually.

You don’t have to be a saint or martyr to give. Miserliness in all forms, diminishes you – diminishes us.

Diminishes the human race.

The more you keep, the less you have and the less you are.

Giving is a joy.

Want less. Give more.

Try it if it isn’t already a part of your attitude to life.

This is another of life’s interesting paradoxes.

Until next time,

Writing things down sometimes helps in the communication process.
The goal is not communication. The goal is EFFECTIVE communication.
Making real changes with the knowledge gained from ‘feedback loops’ allows me to formulate the right adaptive strategy for student – ex Australian Wallaby Captain, Phil Waugh.
Vv.

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How Fit and Healthy are you?

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Definition of Total Fitness

There is no standard definition of physical fitness.

It means different things to different people. Decide on your own definition but be mindful of your activity. Fitness is relative to the activity performed and not all activities require similar fitness.

For example, someone who is playing as a goalkeeper in soccer may not necessarily be fit for hockey and the fitness for running a marathon may not translate to the fitness for playing rugby.

I believe it is more appropriate to promote a broader definition of total fitness that should comprise of the following 5 elements:

  1. Strength and the development of lean body mass (muscle).
  2. Flexibility
  3. Cardiovascular conditioning
  4. Ease of general daily activities
  5. Exercise-FREE factors

Elements 1 to 3 is quite self-explanatory but lets talk about 4 and 5.

With element 4, if you go about your daily activities without an ache or pain in the world, then, you must be doing something right with your life. Stop and spare a thought for the millions of people in the world that are not as lucky as you to just jump out of bed bursting with the vitality of a hundred people.

There is a definite ‘mind-muscle’ connection. Train your muscles to train & exercise your brain and help it release all those necessary life-affirming hormones to flood your body … needed nutrition for the cells and soul. Try it.

Consider starting a Fitness Program tailored to you

Many humans struggle just to get through their daily activities, like getting out of bed, doing their shopping etc without some form of pain or discomfort. Some could not get through their day without resorting to more than a handful of drugs.

Not nice. Not the way they had envisioned of living, I suppose.

With element five, this includes variables that make up your lifestyle such as healthy nutrition (for the body and mind), no drug abuse, adequate rest and recuperation (sleep), adequate exposure to sunshine (but don’t get sun-burned), good posture, healthy and fulfilling relationships and an enjoyable and satisfying employment.

Now, for people who make their living being a sportsperson, being talented is not enough. They each need to ensure they hone their skills specific to their sport to be the best they can be to be totally fit for that activity.

However, if you’re thinking of starting a fitness program. Great for you! Consider the elements I have listed when you think about getting ‘fit’. All these elements should be factored in to your program for self improvement before, I believe, anyone can really be said to be healthy and fit.

I have seen them, so perhaps have you, people that are strong and well-built but physically unfit and cannot even run up a small flight of stairs without difficulty. Just all show and some suffer from a world-wide epidemic, very evident on beaches – mostly men who suffer from what I have termed “ILS” or “imaginary lats – syndrome”.

Yep, you’ve seen them! Then you have people who are extremely fit physically and yet not be healthy (very long-distance runners could arguably fall in this boat).

What is your definition of health, strength and fitness? Does it include your TOTAL self – physical, mental, spiritual, emotional, intellectual, socially?

What is “Fit” to you?

What is ‘Fit” to you?

There is a prevailing mis-perception about what people consider to be ‘fit’ in society as it most probably does not include the 5 elements I have highlighted above. Although it is highly desirable to be physically fit, please bear in mind that there is so much more to total fitness (and health) than just that.

Now, if you’re brave enough to ‘get off the fence’ and help yourself with your physical goals in life and if you’re lucky enough to seek and get help, just do it! (I just love this NIKE slogan). If you feel you want to go about it on your own then consider mapping out a time-frame for your body transformation journey, say a 16-week (4 month) goal with realistic but specific goals.

Obviously, don’t be too ambitious in the early days. Don’t be disappointed if you can’t achieve instantaneous results. Like I have said before, learn patience and persistence.

Take stock of your physical health so far and remember you have had your body since you were born. You have possibly misused it for many, many years.

You have a lot of mending to do, so getting fit won’t happen overnight, but it WILL happen if you TRY.

Be the most UN-Common Man/Woman you can be.
Find the Real YOU and … be YOU

Health, good health is the sum of many parts

Health, good health is the sum of many parts, including how you think, what you eat, read and drink, how you see your body, how you plan your daily activities and how you perform them and how you get on with your internal and external environment.

Like I have said in an earlier blog, you are like a juggler with many balls in the air. If you drop one, that’s fine. Keep going, the others will take up the slack. And then tomorrow, start again with all the balls.

Take a day off occasionally. On those days, sit down for a few minutes and think how you could make your routine more enjoyable.

Notice, I said more enjoyable – NOT EASIER..

Stay focused!

Until next time,

 

Cheers & Ahoy!

The old Cap’n Viking Pirate Evangelist Muscled Monk … & How fit and healthy are you

Side triceps pose. Contest: Australian Natural Bodybuilding Titles. Placing: 2nd.

Side triceps pose.
Contest: Australian Natural Bodybuilding Titles.
Placing: 2nd.

 

Always maintain discipline in all areas of life, at all times, under all conditions … like a great Viking or Pirate of the Seas do.
Become the best Captain of the Seas of Life you can be. …
Cheers & Ahoy!
The old Cap’n Viking Pirate Evangelist Muscled Monk

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