a better life, accountability, asking questions, attitude, belief systems, better choices, change, change management, desire, dreams, Energy, Fitness, game of life, Goals, habits, hope, Imagination, responsibility, self improvement, you, your life

Everything starts with a thought.

Everything starts with a thought … a boy born and raised in the Islands of Fiji (me) … thought/dreamed/imagined being on the World Stage in natural bodybuilding 10 years before it became reality.
Belief in God and belief in myself helped me twice rank in the Top 5 in the world in my chosen sport…. and had a lot of fun getting there.
No belief, nothing!
With your thoughts and energy channelled in the direction of your goal, don’t underestimate what you can achieve in ten years.
Vv.

The way you think will make your life a living hell or a living heaven.
Everything begins with a thought and where you end up in life, begins and ends in your thought. Everything starts with a thought. Do you believe this?

Every thought you think and every word you speak is vibrating throughout every cell of your body and into the world around. Your thoughts are what is moulding your universe into your experiences.

The way you think will either make your life a living hell or a living heaven. Do you believe in this?

I do.

We are told that mankind is living longer than ever before in our modern history. The question I like to ask is how much of this ‘extended life expectancy’ gives more joy, better quality of life? Or is it fuelled by the ever-increasing reliance on the many drug stores opening up around the place selling and hooking people on to the scores of products that are supposed to help people.

These drugs and drug stores are supposed to help people eliminate ailments such as stomach aches, relieve heart burn, stop diarrhoea, cure headaches, lose weight, overcome skin problems, bad breath, hypertension and fatigue. You name it – there is a drug that will ‘fix’ the problem.

Is this what the human race has evolved to?

Is this how far we have come as a race, even after all the scientific and medical progress that has been made in the last fifty years? I wonder, sometimes, how we came to be the way we are now? When I take a long hard look around, I am not impressed. I heard on the news or radio recently, that for the first time in mankind’s history, the current younger generations are more likely to die before their parents do. This is very sad if you asked me.

Me and a past member of my Family Gym and former pupil of my Valentine Infusion Programs
Joel here was struggling to go past a certain limit on his deadlifts. He I learned some bad habits. He picked up that was stalling his progress & re- learned proper exercise technique. He not only exceeded his self-imposed limits but also lifted the heaviest weight by any man in my Familu Gym. His maximum lifting weight before that was 140kg.
He deadlifted 224kg for 6 reps at a body weight of 110kg. He is not a power lifter (so does not do 1 or 2 rep maximum)
Can anyone beat that?

Good health and good good intellect are the two greatest blessings in life.

Statistically, children – yours maybe, will not live to the age of their parents (you) will likely live, simply because of their inactive lifestyles and poor eating habits.

Here’s what I have learned after close to twenty five years of training and living a lifestyle of a natural bodybuilder: Good health and good intellect are the two greatest blessing in life. If you are born with health, as most of us have, you have one of the most important life-enhancing traits within you – HOPE! If you have hope, you have everything and you can quote me on this.

When people lose hope, they lose the will to live.

The essence of life is: vitality, the life-force of life!

Without health, where is the joy in life, I ask you? I have found that maybe due to the pressures of ‘the way things have always been done in the past’, everyone is forced in to doing things that they have been brainwashed to thinking they should do. People work very hard in whatever profession they find themselves in and try to know everything there is to know about the subject. They become ‘experts’ in their area of expertise. All for the purpose of making money, commonly making the mistake of thinking money is everything – the be-all and end-all!

Many strive to be experts at everything else external, and yet are not experts at the most important thing: themselves.

This is where I beg to differ on all levels – from the philosophical all the way to the practical. Money and the hunger for more and more of it at the expense of everything else is very unhealthy and leads to unwanted disaster, sooner or later. Unfortunately, many do just this to satisfy the insatiable desire to acquire valuables they have been brainwashed into thinking by marketers, they should get because it adds to them as a status symbol.

Father-son same attire day. Children learn the BASICS of character from their parents… and parents should be open to learning from them, too.

There is no wealth like health.

Remember this: there is no wealth like health. Your health and fitness are way more important. Wealth cannot buy health. Wealth without health is a mockery. The healthy labourer in my opinion is better than a sick millionaire.

But you can, you have a choice to do something about it. Not tomorrow, today – now!

Why? Because your life is the most valuable thing given to you. When you make the decision to prioritise YOU and your life, you have a change of thought. Everything begins with a thought. When you make that decision to help YOU and don’t take life for granted, you choose your health. And when you have health, you have that most elusive thing of life, that intangible thing that some people have, that thing that is the essence of life: vitality.

I think it was Samuel Johnson, the English literary genius that said –

“To preserve health, is a moral and religious duty, for health is the basis of all social virtues. We can longer be useful when not well.”

Great words. So true. Have you questioned how moral you have been to YOU?

I don’t care how old you are, it does not matter. Whether you are man or woman, tall or short, fat or thin, young or not so young, my advice from my heart, is I hope you generate the DESIRE TO CHANGE YOUR MIND – TODAY! Change your mind to help that person you see in the mirror, help him or her move towards the healthier, fitter person you imagine yourself to be.

Implant that desire with a thought, a thought to help the most important person in the world to you: YOU!

Here, Ex-Australian Rugby Wallaby & living legend Phil Waugh using a ‘thumbless grip’ in a Smith Machine to do Bench Presses. His desire to be his BEST and get educated from the best allows him to embrace my better lifestyle framework and “build his bridge to where he wanted to be”. And he got there with my “custom-made” plan.
Become aware; Apply action: Adapt accordingly.

People are creatures of habit.

Look around us, it is estimated that all the knowledge accumulated in the 20,000 years to 2003 is doubled every two days since then. Information, technology and knowledge has increased exponentially and the combination of exercise/weight training and good nutrition is better understood than ever before.

But why is the world suffering from an obesity epidemic? Well, I feel that, sadly, millions and millions of people are still not following a sensible path to ensure lifelong health and fitness.

People are creatures of habit and unfortunately it is more difficult to lose a ‘less-than-ideal (bad)’ habit then it is to adopt a good one. So much energy and effort is put in to hanging on to and justifying the need to retain a bad habit(s). If all that energy was transmuted in to focusing on and taking up good habit(s), we would have less preventable problems in the world.

Unfortunately, human beings are more reactive then proactive.

Focus: FEEL & CONTROL… with balance & elegance.

What you eat today will be walking snd talking on you tomorrow!
Why are millions not making the right choices given the knowledge and information available to them? A strong contributor is the increasing need for newer and modern technology and its use. These newer platforms of social media – facebook, twitter, text messaging, video games, increasing use of apps, all have one thing in common: they all encourage physical inactivity.

When I was growing up, I remember spending most of my waking hours after school with friends in the neighbourhood. We were always expanding physical energy with different games out on the streets.

Here’s another truth: what you eat today will be walking and talking on you tomorrow!

We’re all getting older by the second, yes, but some depreciate faster than others, mainly because of lifestyle choices. Today you may be relatively young but youth is always fading.

There are no guarantees in life, but if we choose well (health and fitness), we can live our days with healthy activities to get us near to perfect health, fitness and physique as possible.

If you have read this far, then it tells me that you are serious about making a change in your lifestyle. What I have always cared about with everyone that I have ever helped over the last two decades is their current physical condition and state of mind. This is exactly what I am concerned about with you, today.

To begin your change, your journey, you need to desire to change your mind as everything begins with a thought. But effort alone is not enough, you also need to dream, you need to liven up your imagination and set yourself some goals.

What is a goal anyway? It is a dream with a deadline.

Sometimes you need to stop 🛑… look at yourself in the mirror snd … take stock.

It is your thoughts and feelings that are creating the life that you are living.
You need to sit back and take a few minutes out of your busy day and ask yourself if you’re worth it? Do you believe that your life is valuable enough so that the rest of your life (from this point on) could indeed be the best years. Can you picture, imagine your remaining days? Maybe you’re so busy in your daily life, you haven’t given it much thought.

Remember, all of the data suggests that there is no such thing as luck or coincidence in a universe that we now know is based on energy, vibration and attraction. The universe is always lining up to the vibrational state that you’re offering. We all have our default frequencies but through effort, it is possible to move between frequencies – from a life-destroying one to a life-affirming wavelength.

It is your thoughts and feelings that are painting and creating the life that you’re living and drawing to you the situations and circumstances that you find yourself in. If you want to live a different life, you’ve got to start painting a different picture. You’ve got to start being a more skilful architect and use better design principles.

One thing I have always been fascinated about is life but in particular – people. I am a watcher of people, always have been and always will observe others with burning curiosity.

When Alan came to me, he was in a bad place – not having enough sleep despite seeing many “experts”, was on the verge of losing his job and his marriage.
With immense courage he undertook the plan I developed for him using my Lifestyle framework principles .
He not only started sleeping again (from 700+ apnoea per night to under 4) … he lost > 25+ kg and got his life back.

Where do I begin?
Now, you may be asking yourself, okay Paul, where do I begin?

Well, you need to take stock of the most important thing you will rely on: your state of mind, in particular – your motivation. Being motivated is a wonderful gift and a lack of motivation is a hard nut to crack, so to speak!

Here’s what I tell most, if not all that have ever come to me for help: Find a quiet moment in a private room in your home that has a full length mirror. Lock the door and take all your clothes off. That’s right, everything. Now, just look at the image of you reflecting out of that full length mirror. Just stand there and don’t do anything but look. Absorb your full glory for 30 seconds. Don’t flex your arms or smile. Don’t even think about sucking in that gut. Relax that tummy and now….turn to the side. No sucking in, let it all hang out! Now, what do you see?

This is the REAL YOU! Happy?!

Need more motivation? Angry? Now, you have all the motivation you need. How could you let this happen to your body? You were born with the greatest gift of all: physical health.

Now, ask yourself this question: do you value YOU, do you value your life? Are you going to continue as you have to this point? Clogging your arteries, adding layers of fat to every part of your body, risking ill-health, aches and pains and an early grave – increasing your overall life risk?

Or … are you going to choose great health and fitness for the rest of your life?

Everything begins with a thought and where you end up in life, begins and ends in your thought.

Watch your thoughts. Choose well, my friend.

It’s your life, after all and the rest of your best years of your life depends on this choice.

All the very best in your choice.

Until next time,

Chris enjoying a well-deserved rest between sets.
A ‘set’ as I define it is: a continuous progression of 15 to 45 sec ‘focused moments’.
Effort + Focus + heart + visualization + simulation [Quality Plan + Quality Implementation] ===> Quality results.
Vv.

A major turning point in Alan’s life was coming to me for help. I helped him, help himself … build his bridge from where he was to … where he wanted to be.
Saved his job … saved his marriage … saved his life.

Photos (below) : walking-the-walk snd practising what I preach … so I can “talk-the-talk” with all my students of my Peak Performance Academy

a better life, asking questions, awareness, balance, Beliefs, better choices, decisions, Energy, examined life, game of life, Goals, life, long-term perspective, significance, spiritual balance sheet, spirituality, time, you, your life

Keep on keeping on.

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Life, what is it?

How do you define what ‘life’ is? What does it mean to you when you think or hear people say ‘live your life?’

To keep things simple, life to me, is just like building and hanging on to muscle (after almost a quarter of a decade of working with it).

It – Life, depends heavily on two principles – simplicity and continuity.

You can read about this analogy in an earlier blog. What I would like to elaborate on, however, is Life and what it means. People view life through different lens. I believe, life – all life, is intended to have purpose.

From my interactions with and observations of people over the last four decades of my existence on this planet, it seems that many people live their lives almost as if they worship it. Yep, they put it up on an alter – they exalt it to almost Godly status!

The question I ask is, why?

Is it in the genes or has it been instilled in us by our environment.

Perhaps we all too easily become worshipers of life. Life itself, is likened to that of an idol. It seems that all the marbles are put in to the one basket called life and there is nothing after life. People seem to be very busy, rushing around, trying to squeeze in as much as they can while they can – experiences, places to visit, ticking off ‘bucket lists’ and promotional ladders at work.

Most people just seem to focus on what they can get out of ‘this life’. Why? I just don’t get why this insatiable desire for more, more, more …

The thing is that if we put all our eggs in one basket – this basket called life, I think that death or the mere mention of death would most likely be an unwanted trespasser, an uninvited purposeless intruder. Probably part of the reason why a lot of modern day society revolves around avoiding the question of or conversation of death and dying. So much so, that the aged population get segregated from society in to over-hyped ‘aged care’ facilities, separated and out of sight from the rest of society. Nobody in modern society wants to be reminded of death, no, it is life that is celebrated!

This is a sad state of society, not only for the seemingly unwanted aged put aside, in a patient room, waiting to die. But, it is also a sad state for those that are left behind, those in society that would benefit greatly by having the aged pass on knowledge and wealth of experience through the long lost art of story-telling.

It would benefit the younger generation immensely. If only, people had a little more patience.

Sad indeed.

I’m not saying that we shouldn’t live life and live it to the full. No, but to exalt anything – another person, an object, rock bands, a job, a position and including even life itself, into the ‘be all and end all’ takes a critical ingredient out of the picture. Do you know what this critical ingredient is?

It is God.

Worshipping anything, even life, squeezes God out of the picture, out of the equation of a truly successful life. It becomes a life that is purposeless, something that is an increasing symptom of many people in today’s very fast, busy worlds.

They are growing more distant from God and appear to be soul-less as they are searching for him in all the wrong places. There is an hollowness in their soul. Even though they have more social media connections, they have less genuine relationships. What is missing is their spirituality.

Remember, that it is your relationship with God – your God, in your life that enables you to make sense out of the countless nonsense out there. Having God in your equation, your life gives you hope, hope that even when sense and purpose seem to escape you at times, one day you will understand.

It is true, that you should live your life as if it were your last in this world.

But, understand that worshipping it to the status of an idol is not needed if you believe. Believe that Jesus Christ was the resurrection and the life. Believing in him and God allows you to live (even when your physical body dies from this world).

So, live and believe in all your heart and soul. This belief will mean that you will never die, that you will live forever in to the next life. Believe that your life now, this life, is only a small part of your life in the time continuum – that you, me, we are all living out days of our eternal life.

Now.

Keep it simple. There is no end to life, there is only continuity and simplicity, which as I mentioned at the start is the two fundamental principles that life and funnily enough – muscle is built on.

All you need to do is believe and be redeemed by our saviour, the son of God – Jesus Christ.

Close your eyes. Breathe. Keep on keeping on …. Don’t stop believin’.

Amen.

Until next time,

_O7A6309_C

a better life, adaptation, attitude, awareness, belief systems, better choices, choices, decisions, Energy, game of life, God, life, responsibility, self improvement, success, truths, you

If.

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Have you ever experienced immense sadness?

I have. Many times.

Have you ever felt deep, deep sadness? If you have, you are truly blessed, for I believe it is one of the paths to joy, true joy. Yes, I know it is strange but I truly believe it is one of the many paths to joy even though it may be the strangest.

Every one of us is searching for our truths, our individual truths of our perception of reality. We’re all searching for freedom – freedom from work, freedom to financial security, freedom from all forms of fear … all forms of freedom.

Many don’t realise that in order to move closer to freedom, you have to be aware of and accept where you are. Many people don’t see or even realise that they are prisoners and keep themselves that way as if they were blinded by their own ignorance. Ignorance to the existence of the higher force or God.

They are blinded by their ego in their self-imposed prisons, effectively making them prisoners in their own worlda.

These self-imposed prisons of pride are filled with self-made men and women determined to pick themselves up over and over again as they fail. It does not matter what they did, who they did it to or where they will end up; the only thing that matters is that ‘I did it my way” as the classic Frank Sinatra song goes. We could put some blame of this egotistic behaviour on old Frank.

We’ve seen and we all know these prisoners – they’re everywhere, you could be one of them! You’ve seen the alcoholic who won’t admit he has a drinking problem or that woman who refuses to talk to anyone about her fears. Or what about that businessman who vehemently rejects all help even when his business is crumbling.

Yes, perhaps, to see such a prisoner, maybe all you have to do is look in the mirror.

I believe one of the biggest and most profound words in the English language is the two letter word “If”. Why? Firstly, because it is a decision point, a place where you have to make a decision and not sit on the fence.

Another reason that I like this word if is that it is the essence of what I am writing here in this blog. What do most prisoners do? Most don’t admit failure, they don’t accept responsibility. It is the same for the prisoners of pride we see all around us, every single day. Admitting failure is exactly what all prisoners find it difficult to accept.

If only he or she admitted failure ….

Education through a perception of the truth.
Increasing your awareness, taking sufficient and appropriate actions and adapting accordingly is key towards self-improvement.
Vv

Because of pride, many people deny they have any weakness even if there is evidence to the contrary all around them. Being a prisoner of pride blinds you to pretend you are right when you know you are wrong. To admit failure, to know what deep, deep sadness is, is one of the most courageous things a person can do.

This courage makes you ‘see’ again. This courage to accept failure and responsibility allows you to experience true joy again. True joy that can be had by experiencing the exquisite sorrow of sadness.

You experience genuine sadness by accepting your mistake, taking responsibility, admitting failure.

So, like I say to every young male that walks in to the gym, if their goal is to build good, lean quality muscle, one must ‘leave their ego at the door’. This also applies to your search for truth, your truth.

Your truth that will ultimately set you free from your prison – your prison of pride.

Become Aware. Take Action (acceptance and forgiveness). Adapt. My Triple A Approach to continuously develop oneself – there is no ‘standing still’, no neutral point. If you’re not progressing in life (however so minute), you’re regressing. So keep evolving towards your best you can be for you first, and then for everyone else.

The power rests in your hands if you want to be released from your prison. Release that Prisoner Of War (P.O.W) today! These three letters can mean other things depending upon one’s experiences and attitudes.

As you know, life is uniquely individual through the eyes of each beholder. So, if we choose the right attitude and if you repent and say sorry and if you released yourself from your prison, you could assign those three letters a different meaning …. “Psych of Winning”, of a continuous positive mind-set, every single day. This, funnily enough is a possible definition of ‘enthusiasm’.

So, be more enthusiastic for and about everything in life. Today, tomorrow starts today as everything you do today, is ultimately for tomorrow.

Here my friends and readers is one of the gems/secrets of life – turning that prison sentence in to another type of P.O.W. Such an individual is someone understands the principles of winning in life, and who can apply those principles to benefit himself or herself and loved ones. Adopting the psychology of winning will help you feel good, think constructively, look great, and expect the best.

If you do this, never forget this next single point for the rest of your life – it makes very little difference what is actually happening, it’s how you, personally, take it that really counts!

Put simply, basically it is how you respond to situations.

So, you see, I like the word if as it helps people decide. The decision you make on your definition of “P.O.W” you want to use, ultimately depends on your perception of your truth, the attitude you choose. And, as you know, it’s not aptitude …. But attitude that is the criterion for success in this Game of Life we’re all in.

If you change your attitude, you will win at life. Attitude is the answer

Like I said earlier, I like the word if.

Until next time,

Attitude is key at winning in the Game of Life.

a better life, awareness, belief, Beliefs, compassion, courage, Energy, genuineness, Goals, God, life, truths, you

The union of the head and the heart.

Find what you love to do.
Then, go do it! Believe.

The union of the head and the heart facilitates one of the best motivators there is – to BELIEVE.

Yes, I know everyone reading this has their own interpretation of what it means to believe and that is great. To me, to believe, to really believe one has to unite both their head with their heart. The union of them produces real belief. Produces miracles.

I have seen these miracles happen before my eyes with all the men and women, boys and girls, I have helped over the years with over 84% success rate in them achieving their goals or better. One of the common denominators was their strong sense of belief. Their success in my programs was heavily influenced by their strong belief – strongly uniting their head with their hearts.

However, the biggest miracle and power of all is the power to believe in love and the existence of genuine love. Firstly, one has to believe, really believe that one is genuinely loved. For only then, can one truly genuinely love others.

If you are a Christian, you have to believe that God loves you. God loves you in many ways. After forty years of being a Christian, I am going to list 5.5 ways in which I believe he loves you.

He loves you –

in an imaginative/creative way;
in an intimate way;
in an original/unique way;
in a dependable and
5 tender/compassionate way.

He simply loves you in many more ways than you could imagine.

His love is creative because out of his love, you were born.

His love is intimate because his love delves in to the deepest parts of you.

His love is original/unique because he accepts you as you are – not as other people’s expectations of you.

His love is dependable because he will never let you down. You can always rely on him and his word.

His love is tender because tenderness is the feeling you get when you know and believe that you are deeply and genuinely liked by someone.

One of, if not, the best GIFT given to you as unconditional love. Don’t search for it in the wrong places. As he has said –

“ask and ye’ shall receive,

Seek and ye’ shall find.”

Do not fear. Have no doubt in his love for you.

So, dear readers, ask yourself are you really believing? Are you really connecting your mind with your heart? Are you really believing if it meant your life depended on it?

Belief in God has helped me represent Australia at two consecutive World Natural Bodybuilding Championships and achieve those dreams.
Never stop believin’.
Vv.

In a few days time, the largest sporting event will be staged in Rio. The Olympics. All the athletes that have made it there have all earned their right to be there, their beliefs will be tested. There is no doubt that they have talent. But talent alone is not enough to win.

They all need belief, strong belief. They need to genuinely believe, like Christians need to believe in their God. Their bodies are all fine tuned and are all hoping to ‘peak’ at the right time, but it is critical that their head/mind is right. It is not a question of will-power, because they have persisted consistently in their training regimens for the last four years. It comes down to each athlete’s conviction in themselves – their belief in themselves.

Their mind-set.

There is no room for an ounce of doubt. They have to be one hundred percent convinced in their ability. Conviction (belief) will always triumph over will-power. This applies to every goal you set for yourself. No amount of self-discipline (will-power) will help you achieve your goals if you’re convinced (believe) you can’t get it or don’t deserve it.

I’m certain that the pressure some of these athletes will be experiencing will be lessened because of their belief in God and that he will carry and lighten some of that burden (pressure). Simply because he (God) loves them and he will never desert believers. That unwavering belief may just be enough to achieve more than they imagined.

I, for one am looking forward to seeing competition at its highest level unfold during these Olympics. I’m sure we’ll all be in for a few surprises.

So, to re-cap, keep that desire for genuine love alive. For it is desire that keeps you working towards your goals, keep that fire burning. After over forty years on this planet, I can share this one observation with you –

“As long as your heart preserves desire, your mind will preserve belief.”

And you can quote me on that last sentence.

Continue to dream (desire). Believe (with your heart). Achieve (with gratitude).

Unite your body, heart, mind and soul.

Amen!

Until next time,

Keep the flame burning within you.
Keep believing.
In you. In God.
Vv.

a better life, adaptation, asking questions, awareness, belief systems, Dying, Energy, examined life, game of life, God, Imagination, life, mind, perspective, spirituality, truths, your life

What if?

Don't be afraid to ask questions but more importantly, learn to ask the right questions. Vv.

Never be afraid to ask questions but more importantly, learn to ask the right questions.
Vv.

Have you ever wondered if we’re all looking for God in the wrong places and have been since the beginning of time?

I have.

I believe there is a significant difference between knowing about God and knowing God. Some people may know the right “God – words” yet have never experienced God. It was drummed in to my head growing up as a catholic Christian that it is only in Jesus, the Son of God that we can truly know God the Father.

What we individually think of God makes a tremendous difference in our lives and where we get our ideas of God makes a tremendous difference too. We can gather up data and develop our own image of God or we can just allow him to reveal himself to us via Jesus, the son of God.

What should we do?

Well, in these times of great uncertainty in many parts of the world and in many parts of our lives, a lot of people like to still believe there is a God. And why? Well, let’s take democracy as an example – we’ve been supposedly adopting this concept for a long time now. We still like to believe in the benefits of democracy. It has been said that democracy requires an informed electorate to thrive and prosper.

Now, if this is the case, then it would seem that that is excellent advice to be applied in most areas of life. Sound bites, personal biases, self-serving interests have no place if we are to adapt and evolve in our understanding.

I believe we must always remain open, open to new ideas, be willing to be informed and most importantly, be desirous to engage in learning. We must also never lose our curiosity, be a student of life. We must willingly engage in discovering new knowledge about this world we live in and our true place within it.

Our unanswered questions and the issues we face in our world right now are too important to ignore either by neglect or lack of understanding due to lack of knowledge. Why? Because, I believe our very survival and the survival of all life on earth depend on it. It’s as simple as that!

What is your “spiritual net worth?”

So, what is God? Who is God? Where is God?

The Christians answer by giving direction through the Jesus, the son of God. There are other interpretations too. For example, this ancient Sanskrit proverb states:

“God sleeps in the minerals,

Awakens in plants,

Walks in animals and,

Thinks in man.”

I like this definition.

I must say, that after more than 40 years on this planet, this definition certainly resonates with me. Kind of stipulates what a lot of different cultures – ancient sages, avatars, mystics, spiritual leaders and shamans have told us since the dawn of time. I particularly like the hypothesis/belief that God …. Thinks in man”

Wow, very profound indeed! Got me thinking …

What if God was simply everywhere? What if God was simply the ‘life-force’? That life-force, that infinite intelligence that breathes life in to that seedling? That life-force that sparks an embryo’s heart in to beating. That life-force that provides infinite intelligence to every single living organism on this planet.

It seems that the universe operates according to various principles, one of which all matter is energy and one of the greatest thinkers of the last century, Albert Einstein summed this up in his formula E=MC2. I believe that life is not about time management but is about energy management.

We now know that another principle that the universe operates under is that all matter continually interacts with all other matter. There is no such thing as independent action and Quantum Physics suggests that all things in nature are interconnected in a very fundamental way beyond time and space.

“Beyond time and space” … wow!

If there is one thing we can all learn from nature, it is this: all creation must either perish or constantly evolve.

Find your light.
Light your path.
It is YOUR path.
No one can ride that path with you, but YOU.

So, change is necessary. Change is constant. There are no alternatives and nature has demonstrated this throughout its entire history – that the arrow of time flows in one direction only.

What if you, me, every living person on this planet had God in us? What if we were existing fragmentally on an individual basis but were all parts of God. Yes, you not only had a part of God-like particle in you but you were God!

Yes, you read correct!

You are God. I am God. Every living human is a God (or part thereof). And if Quantum Physics is correct, then, it agrees with the Sanskript earlier because it states that everything is connected to everything else. So, if God is in our thoughts, then, it follows that God is in everything else.

So, if we believe this then what does heaven look like inside? Do you know? We’ve all been told very little about what heaven is like inside, haven’t we? Religion has always preferred to be vague in my experience as a devoted catholic in my youth. Maybe, its because it is best to leave it up to everyone’s imagination and if that were the case, our imagination is thought and this means that it is God. So, we leave it up to God.

Hmmmm ?…..

With the exponential development of technology we’ve experienced over the last fifty years, isn’t it feasible that one day all information will be accessible from our thoughts – from our consciousness?

Look at the modern-day man’s daily habits, one of which is our phones being a constant companion.

Millions of people seem to prefer virtual worlds these days – judging from time and money spent on the latest electronic gadgets and computer games and the long ques outside apple stores prior to a product launch. What does this say about humans? Maybe, it is suggesting that man-kind is wanting to truly re-connect to a virtual world and that this may be indeed where heaven is?

What if our infatuation with the virtual world is saying something about our very nature and how the universe is operating, given that all matter is interconnected? We know that.

Where is your saviour? He is always with you. He is always in your corner, even in your darkest Hour.
Have no doubt … BELIEVE.

What if each advancement of technology is bringing us closer and closer to what heaven really is like? What if heaven and God was a big mainframe computer and we are all just small outposts of mini-computers/tablets that are seeking to re-connect with our master, our God – this large mainframe computer in the sky/heavens?

Everyone seems to have the need to escape from reality, maybe because everyone is seeking happiness and reality is too overwhelming. Reality is simply too miserable. Many seek escape through the various means available such as alcohol, drugs, sex, entertainment, sport, gambling all diversions to ‘keep busy’ so as not to think about how miserable their existence is. Sad indeed, isn’t it?

Many millions are routinely and habitually spend so many of their waking hours online. Why? Is this a form of transcendence? A form of meditation for everyone? I’m not sure if you play the current video games available but many simulate the real world to an amazing extent. Many mainstream movies have suggested the idea of living as a computer simulation, characters completely transferring their minds to the computer and discarding their bodies like the movie Avatar.

I’ve always believed that we are a spiritual being having a physical/human existence. Spiritual here can be likened to consciousness. So, is this what happens when we die? We ascend in to heaven, leaving the body remains to be buried. The physical body we inhabit returns to dust … “Dust to dust” as the bible says?

It may not be possible as yet – totally living as a computer simulation but perhaps all we have to do is wait for computers to get more powerful. I mean I don’t think anyone would have predicted that we would have phones that do the things it does back in the 70’s wouldn’t they? If computer games can look so real where bodies can move in life-like ways, it is only a matter of time when they will be able to simulate minds.

“What?!” I hear you say.

Maybe, this is what God will look like? Maybe, when they can simulate the mind, we will be able to ‘upload’ to consciousness, very similar to ascending into heaven as said in the bible. We’re already uploading data to invisible ‘clouds’, aren’t we? This isn’t so far-fetched after all isn’t it?

If we could upload to heaven/consciousness, this would mean that we could possibly never die. We would be immortal. But, that’s not all. Think about what we can possibly do in a virtual world – we could re-invent ourselves, re-invent our tomorrows. You could do anything – beautify, strengthen build your armour just like people currently do in video games.

But just like we update our software applications regularly, we could possibly ‘upgrade’ our minds to a faster, more efficient model while wondering around in heaven. So, those who die and go to heaven will allow individual consciousness to mesh with others’ consciousness to become collective consciousness. A place where there is no ‘self’, where one is all, and all is one. Very similar to what Buddhists believe I think.

One way to know YOU is to understand God.
God is in you.
God is you.

What if God and heaven is actually this and we as a human race is moving ever so quicker to realising our union with. Becoming one with God, becoming one with consciousness …. As God is in our thoughts. So, upon uploading and leaving our reality, we now join our thoughts with the ultimate source – our God.

We become one with God.

Again.

Many of our questions will be answered. Many of our issues that we currently deal with will be dealt with. Finally, we will not only know about God but will truly know God too. Something that I raised at the very beginning of this blog message.

Or, do you think that maybe our physical world, our reality as we know it is actually a virtual world, all simulated by this giant mainframe computer that is God/heaven/consciousness?

I don’t know. Maybe, I don’t want to know the answer to this.

Maybe, it is best that way. Knowing which questions to be left unanswered- maybe what is best for me, for you and for the entire human race.

But … what if?

Amen.

Believe.
Believe in YOU. Believe in GOD.
Believe in belief, itself!
Vv.

Jesus earth dad, Joseph, was a man of great patience & love 💓 and understanding.
A man that loved his wife, Mary, so much, he believed her story of Jesus being the son of God.
What a man… what a “man in the shadow”

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The greatest expression of self-respect.

ECBD09EB-588E-446C-9BCF-36A4664ED62D

The first twenty years of my life was a little more difficult than the second twenty years of my life and it was partly because of one little thing, one little ‘mosquito’.

That little mosquito I am referring to is the inability to say ‘no’. Sometimes, when left to grow, that little “mozzie” (Australian lingo for mosquito) can become huge problems like dengue fever or even the deadly malaria which has been responsible for more deaths than all the deaths caused by wars since the beginning of the world.

The ability to know when to and actually say ‘no’ is, I believe, the greatest expression of self-respect.

It reminds me of what a great wise eighty five year old friend of mine said to me before he died about four years ago, that –

“elephants don’t bite, mosquitoes do.” Or in other words – Little things matter. So true, indeed.

What about you? Think about your life to this point. Did you suffer from this too? If you still do, you’re not alone because I believe that a large proportion of humans in the world still cannot get this “mosquito problem” under control.

For me, in those first twenty years of my life, not being able to say no sometimes felt akin to a dog chasing its tail, never getting anywhere and not knowing where the start and end of everything was. I strived to please everybody and their requests and was constantly disappointed.

It was hard – very hard. Until one day, I came to the realisation that you cannot please everyone and not everyone will agree with you and that is ok. Increased awareness is one very important step and then taking appropriate and sufficient action, finally leading you to adapting you or your environment or a combination of both.

I had a simple but significant change in philosophy. or the way I saw life and how life operates.

I realised that you don’t owe anything to anyone in life except one thing: love. And, contrary to what some believe, sometimes the most loving thing you can do is to say no to someone else’s request or simply saying no to an internal request – a want you need to immediately gratify. Self-control from or delayed satisfaction for oneself with regards to wants, is the greatest expression of self-respect you can give yourself.

An indication that you genuinely love the person who see looking back at you when you look at yourself in the mirror – you!

It is quite interesting but that is one of the most underrated traits in this world – simply, the power and strength to say ‘no’.

Saying ‘no’ to the maxim “No pain, no gain” could be one of the best things you can do for your joints and longevity in the gym.
Choose your exercise and exercise execution wisely.
More is not necessarily better.
Vv.

The power to say no is empowering. The power to say no is so great, I have literally seen it make the impossible – possible in the lives of many people I have helped. The power to say no allows individuals to create their own miracles, to release the champion that rests dormant within them.

I have witnessed it, it is amazing – the power to say no is a miracle waiting to happen! You don’t have to climb Mount Everest to feel on top of the world. No, the feeling you get when you say no is even better, more profound, because each and every uttering of no, builds your ability climb all the internal mountain climbs you face in your life.

Mountains you will get to the top of. If I remember correctly I think it was Sir Edmund Hillary, the first man to climb Mount Everest that put it:

“It is not the mountain we conquer, but ourselves.”

This is something that I request from and re-enforce with everyone that I have helped over the years. The ability to summon courage to start saying ‘no’ again within their re-engineering programs. I encourage each of them to say no to some of the excesses of life that they may have been used to experiencing to that point in their lives. I encourage them to say no to excuses.

I know it seems counter-intuitive to deprive yourself of what you desire to get what you ultimately desire but it is vitally important to achieving goals you place a high priority on. Even a little no with conviction is far better than a lame, weak ‘yes’. It takes a lot of courage to say no.

“Saying no to help you, help yourself, get what you care about, to get what you want!” is what I say to my students.

Saying no to self-limiting beliefs, thought patterns, words, actions, habits and character traits that are not aligned with their ultimate goal of how they ‘imagine themselves to be’ in the mirror. This is where the real struggles of real people in everyday living rests. This is where true grit is required. This is where you climb the many mountains towards success.

Why? Because it is often a whole lot easier not to do the simple things, the simple things – the little mozzies – like saying no! Just like many other mozzies in life, the little things that are important to do are also easy not to do, so a lot of people don’t do them for whatever reasons or fears.

Saying no empowers you to successfully climb the internal obstacles, the internal self-created mountains and get to the ‘other side’. This is not a genetic trait, nor one of talent. This is just sheer grit!

To overcome temptation, to say no to habits that you have indulged in for a big chunk of your life is a true sign of self-respect. Saying no allows you to use your 86,400 seconds in a day more productively and manage your energy better.

Like I said, I believe, the ‘no’ answer is perhaps the greatest expression of self-respect and ultimate representation of human dignity there is. Your attitude is key to your destiny in life as it determines the actions you take (good or bad) . Ultimately, this all flows from you philosophy once again. What is the opposite of self-respect? Well, choosing to live a life of insignificance.

So, be brave and summon the courage that rests within you and proudly announce to the world ‘no!’ No to things, people and activities that do not help align you towards you being your best. No to things, people and activities that bring you down rather than elevate you. No to the naysayers.

If there is one very important habit that you can do for yourself is this little habit of saying no again. Don’t be afraid. Just do it! Remember, knowing what to do isn’t the same as doing it.

Say NO. Release the champion within you!

Start loving yourself a little more each time you say no. Don’t just live your life, consider living your life with the greatest expression of self-respect and say no.

To be alive and live is a gift so, consider living your life with the highest expression of human dignity there is and say no, when appropriate and relevant. Being able to say no without regret also allows you to say yes with confidence. Yes, what you do matters, but I think what you think and say to yourself matters too – I believe, even more so.

Think about it: what I have been speaking about comes full circle – what you think determines the source of attitudes, which is your philosophy.

As the great thinker Aristotle said –

“Where we are free to act,

We are also free to refrain from acting,

And where we are able to say No,

We are also able to say yes.”

All the very best to you in your life choices. Remember, if you want to change what’s happening in your life, change your philosophy or how you see things. It is not some huge task but simply comes down to – you guessed it – small (mozzie) steps.

Little steps, compounded over time, do make a difference. this is real magic. That the little things you do every single day – the little things that don’t look dramatic, that don’t even look like they matter – DO MATTER!

Little things (like saying no) matters.

Dream. Decide. Do.

Until next time,

Side triceps pose. Contest: Australian Natural Bodybuilding Titles. Placing: 2nd. Saying "no" has allowed me to choose exercises wisely and understand that quality training is more important than quantity when it comes to getting quality results.

Side triceps pose.
Contest: Australian Natural Bodybuilding Titles.
Placing: 2nd.
Saying “no” has allowed me to choose actions which in turn became habits that allowed me to build one of the best natural physiques in the world.

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A life of significance.

For me, empowering individuals seeking to be better versions of themselves through education brings about change aligned with their goals. They achieve positive change in their lives … and I feel a sense of satisfaction of watching them grow wings to fly into possibilities.

Purpose, Connection and Impact

If you are a regular reader of my messages, you will notice that I think a lot about life and I am constantly asking a lot of questions from life. I admit, I am a student of life.

My years of interacting with thousands of people in gyms, including seven years when I owned my own gym, I have learned a lot about life from other people’s experiences(OPE’s) and stories. I have had over 30,000 coaching conversations with individuals and groups over the last 3 decades.

A question I have always asked is what does it mean to live your life, in particular – to live a life of significance? I feel that this is one of the most important aspects of a life well lived. What do you think? I think if I remember correctly, it was the writer Henry Thoreau that said something to the effect that he was afraid of coming to the end of life and finding that he had NOT LIVED.

I think Henry meant, coming to the end of your life and realising that you have not lived a life of significance. That was a genuine fear of his. Now, I am tempted to say that I am not genuinely afraid about anything – but that is not true. One of my main fears is insignificance. I am afraid, to put it simply, of living a life that does not matter. I admit I am afraid of leaving the world exactly as I entered and found it, no different for my having been here.

To not live a life of significance.

What about you? Is this one of your fears? Have you had a chance to think about this question in your journey through life so far? From my experience, purpose, connection and impact are three keys to living a Life of Significance.

From my observations of life so far, I have noticed that a lot of people think that “having lived” means experiencing a lot of adventures or a lot of fun and experiences or indeed – acquiring a lot of money. I think otherwise. I think these peoples’ perception of what it means to ‘have lived’ is slightly distorted and are missing the true significance of what it entails in my eyes.

Help people get what they want using your unique strengths and blessings. Vv.

Help people get what they want using your unique strengths and blessings. Here is former Australian Rugby Union Captain & Champion Leader and human being – Mr Phil Waugh doing an essential part of my “Peak Performance’ programs – weight training in the gym MY WAY…. with efficiency & effectiveness and always under the Safety Umbrella. Allowing yourself to be more coachable enables you to get distilled knowledge from the BEST … in quick time. If you want to be your BEST, learn from someone who can SHOW YOU HOW. Phil does as he has a Champion attitude and champion feelings and a ‘growth mind-set’. Vv.

Things that last forever

Along with spending about eight years in my early youth as a Catholic altar boy, assisting priests in church masses and bible readings, I’ve spent countless hours of listening to hundreds of stories through OPE’s, and am also a keen observer of life. I believe, this common modern-day definition of living has nothing to do with ‘having lived.’ The usual things people seek to guarantee importance in their lives – typically money, fame, power – just don’t last.

Money, fame and power don’t work very well and yet, generation after generation are still blinded and brainwashed to believe that they are the answer. History is littered with countless examples that it is a lie, short-term and inauthentic.

These false drivers – money, fame and power all come to an end. Often, during the person’s own life, and certainly thereafter.

“So, how do you live a life of significance?” you may be thinking.

Instead of the individual’s endless pursuit of more money, fame and power, I believe living a life of significance comes with filling your life with things that last forever.

“And what are these things that last forever?” you may now be asking.

Well, these things that last forever are essentially VALUES. Yep, values! And what is the greatest value of all? Love! Put simply, you need to fill your life with love and lots of it! Love casts out all fears.

What is love? At this stage in your life, you would highly likely have some idea of what it is. Well, one definition is that it is an emotional attachment to the good things of life. So, fall in love with traits such as honesty, integrity, justice, goodwill, forgiveness, truth, grace and yes – success.

I think ultimately, you continue to live in hope – in the joyous expectancy of the best, and invariably the best will come to you. Through God’s blessing.

It follows that to live a life of significance, you need to fill your life as much as possible with these values, attitudes and actions. So, start with trying to make someone else’s life a little better, using the God-given talents and strengths you have been given. This is a great start to significant living, as you have done something that lasts forever – in that person’s (his or her) heart.

Something that is eternal. A gift from you.

That impact you had on that individual or individuals is eternal because people are the only part of this world that will last forever …

Brad seeked; Brad asked the right questions; Brad knocked on the doors of opportunity towards the person he imagined himself to be.
With my guidance

Except Love

As we are constantly reminded daily by media, today’s modern world is filled with many threats – many imagined, some real – threats to our sense of security and safety. Today, more than ever before, you need to be in the right relationship with God. This is the ultimate security, the only true safety as he is the beginning and the end – God, as you know is the perfect giver of love.

If you are a Christian you will believe that God was there before the beginning and he has no end. He has known our fears and sufferings.

Life plays no favourites. God is life, and this life-principle is flowing through you at this moment, as you read and think upon these words. Believe that through him, you will be set free…. to live a life of significance.

Before I go, remember that you owe nothing to anyone in this world except love. In it’s simplest form, love is basically wishing for everyone what you wish for yourself – health, happiness and success (in that order) and all the blessings of life.

This is my wish for you, your family and your friends.

All the best in your choice of how to live your one life.

Until next time,

Become increasingly aware … take actions (sufficient & appropriate) and adapt accordingly.
My Triple A to self – development.

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Torn between two hands.

My beautiful wife of almost 12 years now. My love for this human being keeps increasing every single day.

My beautiful wife and co-captain in life of over 15 years now. My love for this human being keeps increasing every single day.

I love life.

Being an avid student of life, I think a lot about life and it’s definitions and prevailing beliefs and belief systems, on all levels.

I think every individual should have a continuously questioning curiosity to everything in life, which includes their existing beliefs and values and everything else. A questioning attitude just like scientists have had and use in their reasoning.

I ask again what it means to be a man?

I’ll say it again, it can be difficult to be a man in today’s world. I believe he is torn between two hands. Let me elaborate. You see, every man – every male strives to meet his basic psychological needs.

“And what are these?” I hear you say.

Well, firstly, I believe it is simply to know and be known. If we keep it simple, in addition to this, every man needs to love and be loved.

He also needs other very important psychological needs. By “other”, I believe men need deep caring relationships with other men. If I recall correctly, I think it was one of the disciples (James I think) who said christians should be encouraged to confess their sins to each other and pray for each other … or somewhere along these lines.

What does this mean for us?

Well, I believe it means that every man should have another man who would have their back. What this boils down to is that a man who does not have at least one other man to whom he can be accountable regarding his failures, hurts and temptations is a prime target for masculine anger.

You witness evidence of this erupting in almost all areas of our society – in families, in schools, in workplaces, in communities, in countries and between nations.

The angry man in our society is caught between an unrealistic ideal brain-washed in to him by previous generations. That is all they knew. They knew no better.

Today’s men strive to live up to this “unrealistic mythical masculinity ideal or stereotype” on the one hand and true masculinity on the other.

He feels the pressure to –

Achieve
Earn
Conquer
Win

And in a lot of cases, do all these things on his own. Do it at all costs. Costs to his health, his relationships, his family, his community of friends.

… just to live up to these unrealistic expectations society places on him of outdated stereotypes of what it means to be a ‘real man’. But every man has a vulnerable side. Every man is a Mr Vulnerable too where he also feels the need to love and to nurture those he loves and be loved and nurtured by those who loves him.

But this is an impossible ideal. An impossible dream. As he, today’s Real Man futilely attempts to reconcile the two in his own life. He is torn between being invincible and vulnerable, aloof and involved, self-serving and sharing.

He is torn between two hands.

The roots of this conflict send up numerous shoots of anger-producing tendencies in his life.

Anger tendencies that can be dangerous for the man, the people around him, the community he lives in and the nation as a whole.

With the next generation of Valentine males – Zachary.

Men should not be made to feel ‘torn between two hands’. Men should not be made to be torn between these two ideals. Men should not feel they should travel alone. Men should also welcome the vulnerable side of him. Men should accept that sharing this responsibility is one of the best ways to move forward in the direction of a new definition of what it means to be a Real Man in today’s world.

It is not fair on the man and not fair on those he loves. I feel very blessed that the woman who chose me to spend the rest of her life with allows me to be vulnerable. It is “Mother’s Day” today and she is the most amazing woman I have ever met in my life so far. My children are very blessed to have her as their mother. She is my co-captain on our ship through the sea of life.

For the women reading this, please try and listen to your man, really listen. Listen with your two ears, your body, your spirit and your heart. Help him be Mr Vulnerable too, if you’re not already doing so.

And for the man, embrace your Mr Vulnerable. It does not make you less of a man. I believe it makes you more of what it means to be a Real Man. Today’s definition of a modern-day Real Man, what true masculinity really is.

It is one of the most important gifts you can give the little men (our sons) of the future. The young men we entrust to lead and make decisions when we are old and grey and when we are gone and forgotten.

Do it for the future of Man-kind.

Until next time,

My daughter and I. I cherish every moment I have with her. She allows me to be Mr Vulnerable too. Vv.

My daughter and I.
I cherish every moment I have with her.
She sees a healthy dose of masculinity in me and Mr Vulnerable too.
Vv.

Its ok to be Mr Vulnerable.
Vv.

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Dying to Live.

Die to Live.
Vv.

Life is a gift.

One of the most precious things to me is that first breath I take when I wake in the morning. It reminds me that I am alive and that life is a gift. A gift from God.

I breathe that first breath and silently say a thank you to God for giving me an extra day and then hop out of bed thinking “now, who am I going to help today?!”.

And off I go.

I will die someday, and so will you. And that is a good thing.

My son. A gift 💝 from Life.

Knock on your doorstep.

You see everyone dies but not everyone lives, really lives. Everyone should be dying to live. Yes, that’s right – DYING TO LIVE!

Knowing that we will die someday should allow you to live each and every day as if it were your last because you never know when that last day will knock on your doorstep.

My biological mum died in 2011.

She had a tough life, partly of her own doing and I remember seeing her in her last days, her body laced with cancer, laying in her hospital bed, waiting to die ….

A truly sad but life-affirming sight for a courageous human being.

I sat by her bed-side and asked her many questions, questions I had never asked before. I asked her about death and whether she was afraid of dying. She said “no’, that she was in God’s hands.

Strange, but a month before she died, my son, Zachary was born. Aaaahhh … the “Circle of Life”. Life gives and … life takes.

My daughter . A gift 💝 from life.

The most contented person I’ve ever known.

When I reflect on that experience I realize that she knew God. She had seen the first and the last, the beginning and the end. She knew and believed who had made her and who had redeemed (and saved her). She also knew who was going to take her back (her soul/spirit), back to himself – her broken body notwithstanding.

My mum didn’t die alone in a room. No, she had a room filled with close church-goers to keep her company every day and set her off to God. She was in constant physical pain. I felt real pain seeing and hearing her suffer – in person and on the phone.

But, you know what the strange thing was (and I still find it quite odd) that by world’s standards and every day standards, this woman who was my mum, who was in such great pain – this woman was the most contented person I had ever known.

I teach my kids many things and they teach me too. Two things they’ve taught me is:
1) be more patient
2) never giving up (when they try to get chocolate for example … with all sorts of ways until they get it)

The beauty of life.

Some people may have said that she had lost touch with reality at that time in order to protect herself against the pain of cancer. I believe, however, that she had got in touch with reality in a way that few of us ever do, and had seen it’s beauty… The beauty of life.

So, what does this say about dying?

I’m not sure.

There are so many views of dying but my experience with my mum’s taught me something. If we turned life around, I think that dying (and the realising that we will all die some day) is one of the things that help us understand what living is.

I watched quite a few extended family members die over the years. I saw their’s and others’ pain (including mine). From this I learned one thing about death and that is that dying hurts. Dying hurts both those who die and those who are left behind, who will also die when their turn comes.

I witnessed this hurt in my wife’s eyes and words at her grandmother’s funeral late last year. She was very close to her and I loved her dear grandmother too. I particularly miss her grandfather, who I had a great relationship with. You could say – everything comes to an end … eventually, I guess.

But, I also like to believe that dying may be the beginning of something rather than the end….

The last time I communicated with my mum, she could only murmur sounds, nothing that I could understand. I told her that she shouldn’t worry and that I will join her someday soon. She just had to wait a little longer.

So, project yourself forward to when you are taking your last few breaths and you reflect on your life. Understand that you, we – all die because we have lived. So, choose to live, to have really lived.

To think 🤔 is the most difficult thing to do. Exercise for the brain 🧠 is as important for the brain as it is for the body.

We live in order to know and love the God who made us.

To die is, to some extent, to become more real in this sorrowful world.

You, me, every one of us should be dying to live.

So, grab life with both hands, give it a little shake, say thank you and choose to LIVE IT!

Choose well.

Until next time,

Having fun with a star jump!
Live each day like you are dying to live.
Vv.

Her heart ❤️ belongs to me … for now.

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How close is close enough?

Me and my children – carriers of my genes. A taste of immortality for me.

I spend a lot of time with my two children in this phase of my life and I feel very blessed that I have the opportunity to do so. I will cherish these moments for the rest of my life and I thank God every single day.

Being a parent is quite interesting because most of society make it out to be a relationship where the parenting is ‘one way’ but I think otherwise. I feel, the child ‘parent’ you too, if you are aware enough to recognise it so. They teach and remind you of many things you let slip by the way-side. They help you improve your game as a parent, as a human being.

We play many games together, from racing cars to doll house; from twister to monopoly; from shops to painting; from horse-riding on dad to pillow fights; from dress-ups to leggos; from hide-and-seek to pretend classrooms and so many others. I just love my time with them and I love this role of being a dad.

You see, my son is quite innovative. He is a bit of a thinker. For example, today he created maizes that he drew up from self-created dots on clear pages. He then asked me to find my way through his newly created maize (indicating where the ‘start’ is and where I should try and ‘finish’).

The aim of the game is to get to the ‘finish’ line without drawing over an existing line. I came very close to a few of his maize lines but managed to get out of the maize. He applauded my effort but then asked me an interesting question, he said –

“Dad, how close is close enough?”

I have always told my children that it was important to not be afraid to ask questions rather than know all the answers (as there are countless storage devices or google these days). I also always remind them that it is even more important to ask the right questions.

And so he did.

My kids and I with Ruby the Dog. They just adore each other.
Choose to spend time with your kids, not ‘quality time’.

I asked him what he meant, and he showed me where I had come very close to ‘touching’ two of his self-made maize lines on my way to the finish line and that I could be considered to have ‘not finished’ and lost. I told him that it was a matter for him and I to decide on how ‘close enough’ is defined and acceptable to both of us. He was happy with how close my drawing was to his line and said that close enough to not be close enough for him to win.

I still am very amazed at the question he asked because it could be applied to many other areas of life. The maizes he draws could represent the maizes (different paths) we are all taking in life. Are you able to accept a service that is 98% complete without getting angry and accepting that it was ‘close enough’.

Are you a ‘close enough is good enough’ person or are you do you expect nothing short of perfect? Are you able to forgive people if they fall short? Once, twice … repeatedly? What is your tolerance level? I know how it feels to come close enough to winning natural body-building contests, experiencing runner-up finishes quite a few times. To me, close enough was not good enough in those contests but that was how the results turned out.

Have you reflected on how close are your closest friends? Are they close enough for you to really get to know you? How close enough are your family relatives? Are the number of years in a relationship relevant or is it the actual number of hours of ‘face-to-face’ contact that brings you close? How do you define ‘close enough’ in a relationship to be able to trust them? How close is close enough for you?

What a thought-provoking question from my son and was the impetus for this blog message to you.

Work the muscles you don’t ‘see’ in front of the mirror.
It creates balance and symmetry and lowers your risks of injuries and potential postural problems amongst many other things.
Vv.

Anyway, if you have children, YOU, as a mother or father – you’re given the responsibility to work with them and help guide and build them from strong values and principles. Guide them in the ‘way they should go’. I believe it is the single most important task we will ever have in our lifetime – our most important responsibility.

I strongly believe that no other accomplishment and no definition of ‘success’ will ever compensate for failure to help teach eternal truths to your children. No amount of success (as commonly defined in life as financial wealth and status) can ever compensate for the failure to invest in your most priceless off-spring, the generation currently around your knees.

So, choose well I say.

As the American – William James, the father of modern Psychology once stated when referring to time spent with children –

“The greatest use of life is to spend it with something that will outlast it.”

This is about as close enough to close as you could get to truth on this area of life. None of us will ever get out of life, alive, in this life anyway.

And truth, as we know is beauty. So, embrace beauty – embrace the beauty and truth of life. Embrace your children.

And remember, don’t just schedule ‘quality time’, there’s no such thing. You either make time or you don’t. Choose the former before it is too late.

The ‘empty nest’ comes way too soon.

All the very best in your decisions that contribute to your purpose in life.

Until next time,

With my children striking a ‘front-double biceps’ pose for the camera.
Watch out these guns are loaded …. hope you’re wearing your bullet-proof vests!
Vv.

~~Life &; wellness COACH~~

Changing lives. Empowering people. One life at a time.

Triple A to Life: Awareness. Action. Adaptation.

Tag Archives: philosophy

Everything starts with a thought.

Keep on keeping on.

If.

The union of the head and the heart.

What if?

The greatest expression of self-respect.

A life of significance.

Torn between two hands.

Dying to Live.

How close is close enough?