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The greatest expression of self-respect.

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The first twenty years of my life was a little more difficult than the second twenty years of my life and it was partly because of one little thing, one little ‘mosquito’.

That little mosquito I am referring to is the inability to say ‘no’. Sometimes, when left to grow, that little “mozzie” (Australian lingo for mosquito) can become huge problems like dengue fever or even the deadly malaria which has been responsible for more deaths than all the deaths caused by wars since the beginning of the world.

The ability to know when to and actually say ‘no’ is, I believe, the greatest expression of self-respect.

It reminds me of what a great wise eighty five year old friend of mine said to me before he died about four years ago, that –

“elephants don’t bite, mosquitoes do.” Or in other words – Little things matter. So true, indeed.

What about you? Think about your life to this point. Did you suffer from this too? If you still do, you’re not alone because I believe that a large proportion of humans in the world still cannot get this “mosquito problem” under control.

For me, in those first twenty years of my life, not being able to say no sometimes felt akin to a dog chasing its tail, never getting anywhere and not knowing where the start and end of everything was. I strived to please everybody and their requests and was constantly disappointed.

It was hard – very hard. Until one day, I came to the realisation that you cannot please everyone and not everyone will agree with you and that is ok. Increased awareness is one very important step and then taking appropriate and sufficient action, finally leading you to adapting you or your environment or a combination of both.

I had a simple but significant change in philosophy. or the way I saw life and how life operates.

I realised that you don’t owe anything to anyone in life except one thing: love. And, contrary to what some believe, sometimes the most loving thing you can do is to say no to someone else’s request or simply saying no to an internal request – a want you need to immediately gratify. Self-control from or delayed satisfaction for oneself with regards to wants, is the greatest expression of self-respect you can give yourself.

An indication that you genuinely love the person who see looking back at you when you look at yourself in the mirror – you!

It is quite interesting but that is one of the most underrated traits in this world – simply, the power and strength to say ‘no’.

Saying ‘no’ to the maxim “No pain, no gain” could be one of the best things you can do for your joints and longevity in the gym.
Choose your exercise and exercise execution wisely.
More is not necessarily better.
Vv.

The power to say no is empowering. The power to say no is so great, I have literally seen it make the impossible – possible in the lives of many people I have helped. The power to say no allows individuals to create their own miracles, to release the champion that rests dormant within them.

I have witnessed it, it is amazing – the power to say no is a miracle waiting to happen! You don’t have to climb Mount Everest to feel on top of the world. No, the feeling you get when you say no is even better, more profound, because each and every uttering of no, builds your ability climb all the internal mountain climbs you face in your life.

Mountains you will get to the top of. If I remember correctly I think it was Sir Edmund Hillary, the first man to climb Mount Everest that put it:

“It is not the mountain we conquer, but ourselves.”

This is something that I request from and re-enforce with everyone that I have helped over the years. The ability to summon courage to start saying ‘no’ again within their re-engineering programs. I encourage each of them to say no to some of the excesses of life that they may have been used to experiencing to that point in their lives. I encourage them to say no to excuses.

I know it seems counter-intuitive to deprive yourself of what you desire to get what you ultimately desire but it is vitally important to achieving goals you place a high priority on. Even a little no with conviction is far better than a lame, weak ‘yes’. It takes a lot of courage to say no.

“Saying no to help you, help yourself, get what you care about, to get what you want!” is what I say to my students.

Saying no to self-limiting beliefs, thought patterns, words, actions, habits and character traits that are not aligned with their ultimate goal of how they ‘imagine themselves to be’ in the mirror. This is where the real struggles of real people in everyday living rests. This is where true grit is required. This is where you climb the many mountains towards success.

Why? Because it is often a whole lot easier not to do the simple things, the simple things – the little mozzies – like saying no! Just like many other mozzies in life, the little things that are important to do are also easy not to do, so a lot of people don’t do them for whatever reasons or fears.

Saying no empowers you to successfully climb the internal obstacles, the internal self-created mountains and get to the ‘other side’. This is not a genetic trait, nor one of talent. This is just sheer grit!

To overcome temptation, to say no to habits that you have indulged in for a big chunk of your life is a true sign of self-respect. Saying no allows you to use your 86,400 seconds in a day more productively and manage your energy better.

Like I said, I believe, the ‘no’ answer is perhaps the greatest expression of self-respect and ultimate representation of human dignity there is. Your attitude is key to your destiny in life as it determines the actions you take (good or bad) . Ultimately, this all flows from you philosophy once again. What is the opposite of self-respect? Well, choosing to live a life of insignificance.

So, be brave and summon the courage that rests within you and proudly announce to the world ‘no!’ No to things, people and activities that do not help align you towards you being your best. No to things, people and activities that bring you down rather than elevate you. No to the naysayers.

If there is one very important habit that you can do for yourself is this little habit of saying no again. Don’t be afraid. Just do it! Remember, knowing what to do isn’t the same as doing it.

Say NO. Release the champion within you!

Start loving yourself a little more each time you say no. Don’t just live your life, consider living your life with the greatest expression of self-respect and say no.

To be alive and live is a gift so, consider living your life with the highest expression of human dignity there is and say no, when appropriate and relevant. Being able to say no without regret also allows you to say yes with confidence. Yes, what you do matters, but I think what you think and say to yourself matters too – I believe, even more so.

Think about it: what I have been speaking about comes full circle – what you think determines the source of attitudes, which is your philosophy.

As the great thinker Aristotle said –

“Where we are free to act,

We are also free to refrain from acting,

And where we are able to say No,

We are also able to say yes.”

All the very best to you in your life choices. Remember, if you want to change what’s happening in your life, change your philosophy or how you see things. It is not some huge task but simply comes down to – you guessed it – small (mozzie) steps.

Little steps, compounded over time, do make a difference. this is real magic. That the little things you do every single day – the little things that don’t look dramatic, that don’t even look like they matter – DO MATTER!

Little things (like saying no) matters.

Dream. Decide. Do.

Until next time,

Side triceps pose. Contest: Australian Natural Bodybuilding Titles. Placing: 2nd. Saying "no" has allowed me to choose exercises wisely and understand that quality training is more important than quantity when it comes to getting quality results.

Side triceps pose.
Contest: Australian Natural Bodybuilding Titles.
Placing: 2nd.
Saying “no” has allowed me to choose actions which in turn became habits that allowed me to build one of the best natural physiques in the world.

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A life of significance.

For me, empowering individuals seeking to be better versions of themselves through education brings about change aligned with their goals. They achieve positive change in their lives … and I feel a sense of satisfaction of watching them grow wings to fly into possibilities.

Purpose, Connection and Impact

If you are a regular reader of my messages, you will notice that I think a lot about life and I am constantly asking a lot of questions from life. I admit, I am a student of life.

My years of interacting with thousands of people in gyms, including seven years when I owned my own gym, I have learned a lot about life from other people’s experiences(OPE’s) and stories. I have had over 30,000 coaching conversations with individuals and groups over the last 3 decades.

A question I have always asked is what does it mean to live your life, in particular – to live a life of significance? I feel that this is one of the most important aspects of a life well lived. What do you think? I think if I remember correctly, it was the writer Henry Thoreau that said something to the effect that he was afraid of coming to the end of life and finding that he had NOT LIVED.

I think Henry meant, coming to the end of your life and realising that you have not lived a life of significance. That was a genuine fear of his. Now, I am tempted to say that I am not genuinely afraid about anything – but that is not true. One of my main fears is insignificance. I am afraid, to put it simply, of living a life that does not matter. I admit I am afraid of leaving the world exactly as I entered and found it, no different for my having been here.

To not live a life of significance.

What about you? Is this one of your fears? Have you had a chance to think about this question in your journey through life so far? From my experience, purpose, connection and impact are three keys to living a Life of Significance.

From my observations of life so far, I have noticed that a lot of people think that “having lived” means experiencing a lot of adventures or a lot of fun and experiences or indeed – acquiring a lot of money. I think otherwise. I think these peoples’ perception of what it means to ‘have lived’ is slightly distorted and are missing the true significance of what it entails in my eyes.

Help people get what they want using your unique strengths and blessings. Vv.

Help people get what they want using your unique strengths and blessings. Here is former Australian Rugby Union Captain & Champion Leader and human being – Mr Phil Waugh doing an essential part of my “Peak Performance’ programs – weight training in the gym MY WAY…. with efficiency & effectiveness and always under the Safety Umbrella. Allowing yourself to be more coachable enables you to get distilled knowledge from the BEST … in quick time. If you want to be your BEST, learn from someone who can SHOW YOU HOW. Phil does as he has a Champion attitude and champion feelings and a ‘growth mind-set’. Vv.

Things that last forever

Along with spending about eight years in my early youth as a Catholic altar boy, assisting priests in church masses and bible readings, I’ve spent countless hours of listening to hundreds of stories through OPE’s, and am also a keen observer of life. I believe, this common modern-day definition of living has nothing to do with ‘having lived.’ The usual things people seek to guarantee importance in their lives – typically money, fame, power – just don’t last.

Money, fame and power don’t work very well and yet, generation after generation are still blinded and brainwashed to believe that they are the answer. History is littered with countless examples that it is a lie, short-term and inauthentic.

These false drivers – money, fame and power all come to an end. Often, during the person’s own life, and certainly thereafter.

“So, how do you live a life of significance?” you may be thinking.

Instead of the individual’s endless pursuit of more money, fame and power, I believe living a life of significance comes with filling your life with things that last forever.

“And what are these things that last forever?” you may now be asking.

Well, these things that last forever are essentially VALUES. Yep, values! And what is the greatest value of all? Love! Put simply, you need to fill your life with love and lots of it! Love casts out all fears.

What is love? At this stage in your life, you would highly likely have some idea of what it is. Well, one definition is that it is an emotional attachment to the good things of life. So, fall in love with traits such as honesty, integrity, justice, goodwill, forgiveness, truth, grace and yes – success.

I think ultimately, you continue to live in hope – in the joyous expectancy of the best, and invariably the best will come to you. Through God’s blessing.

It follows that to live a life of significance, you need to fill your life as much as possible with these values, attitudes and actions. So, start with trying to make someone else’s life a little better, using the God-given talents and strengths you have been given. This is a great start to significant living, as you have done something that lasts forever – in that person’s (his or her) heart.

Something that is eternal. A gift from you.

That impact you had on that individual or individuals is eternal because people are the only part of this world that will last forever …

Brad seeked; Brad asked the right questions; Brad knocked on the doors of opportunity towards the person he imagined himself to be.
With my guidance

Except Love

As we are constantly reminded daily by media, today’s modern world is filled with many threats – many imagined, some real – threats to our sense of security and safety. Today, more than ever before, you need to be in the right relationship with God. This is the ultimate security, the only true safety as he is the beginning and the end – God, as you know is the perfect giver of love.

If you are a Christian you will believe that God was there before the beginning and he has no end. He has known our fears and sufferings.

Life plays no favourites. God is life, and this life-principle is flowing through you at this moment, as you read and think upon these words. Believe that through him, you will be set free…. to live a life of significance.

Before I go, remember that you owe nothing to anyone in this world except love. In it’s simplest form, love is basically wishing for everyone what you wish for yourself – health, happiness and success (in that order) and all the blessings of life.

This is my wish for you, your family and your friends.

All the best in your choice of how to live your one life.

Until next time,

Become increasingly aware … take actions (sufficient & appropriate) and adapt accordingly.
My Triple A to self – development.

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The Grace of Seeds.

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I have been blessed with two very beautiful, healthy children. It is truly one of life’s blessings in my eyes – the Grace of Seeds.

However, in interactions with men of all ages in gyms for over two decades now, for some men, the responsibilities of fatherhood are simply more than they bargained for. It could be due to many things.

It seems, it is not only the intrusion of a newborn child’s demands; not just the scary anticipation of financial burdens (some men tend to view it this way) – from cot to college.

Maybe, it is the realization that the ‘honey-moon’ period has finally come to an end. Things will never be the same as they imagined it to be. This can be a stark reality indeed for some men.

In addition to this, some men probably have an increased fear of the onset of family life as this would entail responsibilities of parenthood. This would ultimately mean, the feast of love with his wife will grow stale. That the wine of their love will lose its bouquet.

That their love life will fizzle out.

But this is where interpretation of what married love means to Real Men differs.

Often when a man is insecure about himself, afraid of his personal characteristics and strengths as a husband and lover, he is unable to find a reliable and relevant version of the truth about love within a marriage.

And that it is this version of truth of married love:

The love between a married couple has a special ingredient that allows for the inclusion of the love of others.

But, it seems that there are many examples all around us in today’s modern living that tell us that countless couples disagree with this position or interpretation of what married love is.

The expectation gap between ‘what is’ and ‘what they imagined’ is just too big. I have met quite a few couples over the years who choose to not have children. Very sad indeed.

I will argue one point regarding this and one point only and it is this: if the Bible makes it clear that God our Creator, made us in his image and likeness, then I believe that he (God) intended and hoped that we would be ‘fruitful and increase in number”.

So, if you choose to give life and love whether by birth or adoption, you become more of what God meant by ‘in God’s image’. This is our real slice of the ‘essence of life’, our closest chance to share – if only to a small degree – the highest attributes of God the Father himself.

This is as close to “God-like” as any person could become.

To not do so and take another path, to not offer love to our own children, the seeds that will bloom in the future. Well, personally, I cannot fathom this decision.

This is to miss one of the true meanings of what life is about. To go down this path deprives you of a taste of eternity, that is ….

… The Grace of Seeds.

It is a sacrament of everlasting life.

Nourish those seeds with all the love you can muster as they will be your future – our future.

They will be the World’s Future.

And, thank God every single day for blessing you with the grace of seeds!

For posterity.

Until next time,

Me and my children. Children gives you a hint of eternity. A true blessing to be graced with seeds. Vv.

Me and my children.
Children gives you a hint of eternity.
A true blessing – the grace of seeds.
Vv.

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Dying to Live.

Die to Live.
Vv.

Life is a gift.

One of the most precious things to me is that first breath I take when I wake in the morning. It reminds me that I am alive and that life is a gift. A gift from God.

I breathe that first breath and silently say a thank you to God for giving me an extra day and then hop out of bed thinking “now, who am I going to help today?!”.

And off I go.

I will die someday, and so will you. And that is a good thing.

My son. A gift 💝 from Life.

Knock on your doorstep.

You see everyone dies but not everyone lives, really lives. Everyone should be dying to live. Yes, that’s right – DYING TO LIVE!

Knowing that we will die someday should allow you to live each and every day as if it were your last because you never know when that last day will knock on your doorstep.

My biological mum died in 2011.

She had a tough life, partly of her own doing and I remember seeing her in her last days, her body laced with cancer, laying in her hospital bed, waiting to die ….

A truly sad but life-affirming sight for a courageous human being.

I sat by her bed-side and asked her many questions, questions I had never asked before. I asked her about death and whether she was afraid of dying. She said “no’, that she was in God’s hands.

Strange, but a month before she died, my son, Zachary was born. Aaaahhh … the “Circle of Life”. Life gives and … life takes.

My daughter . A gift 💝 from life.

The most contented person I’ve ever known.

When I reflect on that experience I realize that she knew God. She had seen the first and the last, the beginning and the end. She knew and believed who had made her and who had redeemed (and saved her). She also knew who was going to take her back (her soul/spirit), back to himself – her broken body notwithstanding.

My mum didn’t die alone in a room. No, she had a room filled with close church-goers to keep her company every day and set her off to God. She was in constant physical pain. I felt real pain seeing and hearing her suffer – in person and on the phone.

But, you know what the strange thing was (and I still find it quite odd) that by world’s standards and every day standards, this woman who was my mum, who was in such great pain – this woman was the most contented person I had ever known.

I teach my kids many things and they teach me too. Two things they’ve taught me is:
1) be more patient
2) never giving up (when they try to get chocolate for example … with all sorts of ways until they get it)

The beauty of life.

Some people may have said that she had lost touch with reality at that time in order to protect herself against the pain of cancer. I believe, however, that she had got in touch with reality in a way that few of us ever do, and had seen it’s beauty… The beauty of life.

So, what does this say about dying?

I’m not sure.

There are so many views of dying but my experience with my mum’s taught me something. If we turned life around, I think that dying (and the realising that we will all die some day) is one of the things that help us understand what living is.

I watched quite a few extended family members die over the years. I saw their’s and others’ pain (including mine). From this I learned one thing about death and that is that dying hurts. Dying hurts both those who die and those who are left behind, who will also die when their turn comes.

I witnessed this hurt in my wife’s eyes and words at her grandmother’s funeral late last year. She was very close to her and I loved her dear grandmother too. I particularly miss her grandfather, who I had a great relationship with. You could say – everything comes to an end … eventually, I guess.

But, I also like to believe that dying may be the beginning of something rather than the end….

The last time I communicated with my mum, she could only murmur sounds, nothing that I could understand. I told her that she shouldn’t worry and that I will join her someday soon. She just had to wait a little longer.

So, project yourself forward to when you are taking your last few breaths and you reflect on your life. Understand that you, we – all die because we have lived. So, choose to live, to have really lived.

To think 🤔 is the most difficult thing to do. Exercise for the brain 🧠 is as important for the brain as it is for the body.

We live in order to know and love the God who made us.

To die is, to some extent, to become more real in this sorrowful world.

You, me, every one of us should be dying to live.

So, grab life with both hands, give it a little shake, say thank you and choose to LIVE IT!

Choose well.

Until next time,

Having fun with a star jump!
Live each day like you are dying to live.
Vv.

Her heart ❤️ belongs to me … for now.

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Mr Vulnerable.

My son and I.
One of my responsibilities as a man and dad is to make my son aware that being vulnerable is ok.
Vv.

Real Man

Father’s Day came and went only last weekend.

I had a great day with my wife and my two children. I received two beautifully hand-made cards from each of my children and loads of hugs and kisses. Oh, and some of my favourite chocolates.

It was lovely.

I trust all the dads reading this and dads all around the world had a wonderful time with the people they love the most too.

The special calendar day (just like Mother’s Day) got me thinking about being a man but especially in today’s world. Not all men are fathers and not all men are dads but all men are men. So, I got thinking about being a man.

Yep, let’s attempt to re-evaluate the question, “What is a real man?”

In particular, what it means to be vulnerable and still be a man… what it means to be “Mr Vulnerable” and where, how and why it can be incorporated in to the ‘man’ that YOU are.

Every second of every minute of every hour of every day …. of the rest of our lives allows you, me and every man out there to be vulnerable and it may be one of the most important characteristics that we can adopt (if you haven’t considered adopting it already).

The thing is that most of us would have been raised with a definition of what society (modern-day societies) defines it as. This definition is dare I say, unrealistic and quite a burden for the modern male to wear. So much so that I believe the modern day man is finding it quite difficult to be a man.

Now, we could look in many places for possible definitions of what a real man is and justifiably so. Some men look for these in sports stars, movie stars, politicians and so forth. I believe it is important for the modern male (whether you’re a dad or not) to truly understand what it is to be a man. A real man.

Olivia and Zachary enjoying their time with Ruby.
Being a role model for my children is one of the most important responsibilities I will ever have in my life.
For the rest of my life.
Just like it is for every other dad out there.

A Real Man’s John

I thought that one place many people wouldn’t be brave enough to seek an answer is the bible (unless you’re a Christian). We don’t have to look any further than the disciple – John. John, I believe displayed 6 characteristics of what it means to be a real man. In no particular order they were: sincerity, simplicity, conviction, courage, vision and vulnerability.

There you have it! Six Key traits of a real man.

From my experience with people in predominantly male-dominant gyms over the last 23 years, I have found that one thing that men struggle with is accepting that being vulnerable is ok. It seems that the modern man is told since birth that being vulnerable is a no-no, that it is a sign of weakness. Today’s ‘macho’ man of western society must not show vulnerability, he never admits a mistake.

What a load of you know what! Generation after generation of men still believe in this cr#p. Very unrealistic burden for men to carry partially dictated by societal definition of a modern man.

I recall reading research done in America a little while back that stated that five of the most difficult statements for today’s modern man to make are:

I don’t know
I was wrong
I need help
I’m afraid
I’m sorry

Masculinity

This certainly supports what I have deduced from my observations of the last two decades. It seems that modern day men have a problem with admitting vulnerability. That for some reason, if they do their masculinity is brought in to question.

For you Christians reading this – wasn’t this a test for the disciple John which he passed with flying colours?

I think John’s vulnerability was so great beyond belief in his extreme demonstration of humility when he said in reference to Jesus “He must become greater; I must become less”. You cannot get much better than that with someone being so humble.

A trait that is truly missing in the world today.

So, don’t be afraid to be vulnerable, to be authentic to no one else but you first. It is good for the soul and makes you a real man. A humble man is not afraid to admit it. A humble man is not afraid to admit he is or was wrong.

There is a real man in all men reading this and all the men in the world. However, to reach deep down inside and get him, you need to become more aware of who you are now and take actions (sufficient and appropriate) to change certain habits that may not be aligned with the definitions of a real man I have given.

The important step then is to be flexible enough and ‘man-enough’ to adapt to the ‘man you imagine yourself to be’, ideally a man closer to the kind John was. It’s not easy, matter of fact it is darn hard work but the end result is a thing of beauty. And this is one of the things the world needs more of right now.

This, however, may clash with the current modern day definition of what it means to be a real man.

Me and my two children – Olivia and Zachary. I love them with all my heart.

The Future needs you, Real Men

Be the real man you know you are.

Be inspirational to you first, so that you can be inspirational to the young males that are searching for examples of what it means to be a Real Man. Don’t let them get lost to men of lesser character. So, all you dads out there or men playing a surrogate role, be the role model, be the Real Man that the legions of young boys and future men of our society need to aspire to. The Future needs you, Real Men.

This is not a want.

This is a need that our modern day society needs now more than ever. More Real Men to help provide a template to the youth of tomorrow, especially with so many possible definitions are being filtered in to their young minds. Give them a template, like that which the disciple John gave us to build on and stand the test of time.

If every man reading this and every man in this world took this responsibility seriously, what a beautiful world I can imagine for us all in two or three decades. When young men of today, modelling their characters off you – the modern day Real Man will be leaders of tomorrow.

Me and my young man … the future of Real Men. The future rests with us Real Men of the present. …. to provide a template … to save the Father’s of tomorrow.
Play your part, your role for eternity

It is a great hope of mine.

It’s not too late. Make the change because you know it is the right thing to do and you’re humble enough and courageous enough to do it.

Why?

Because you’re Mr Vulnerable. You’re the man! (and if you’re a woman and you’re reading this, get your man to read it too).

All the best in your journey towards being a Real Man. It lies within every man, so go ahead and bring Mr Vulnerable out and share him with the world.

Because the world needs YOU to.

It’s time ….

Until next time,

Cheers & Ahoy!

With the next generation of Valentine males – Zachary.

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Simplify to Amplify.

You learn from children and then learn from us.
It is a two-way learning experience, not one way (parents to children like some people think)

Time will tell

I love being a dad.

I love being a father to my two children. Every day I am grateful for the blessing my wife gave when she chose to bring them in to this world.

Having children is a true blessing. I’m sure all dads reading this would agree.

I love being with my children – doing every single thing with them. I just feel I want to spend every single minute of my life with them. I truly thank my intelligent, strong, caring, loving wife for the opportunity to spend a big chunk of this phase of their lives with them.

It is truly a blessing I experience that not many dads out there have the opportunity to do so. They have learned a lot from me and I have learned many things from them already.

I love observing them, you can learn so much (I’m sure a lot of dads and mums love this too). Even in the first 2 to 3 years of their lives, I can tell how distinctly different they are to one another. They are poles apart in certain things and activities they choose to participate in.

For example, Zachary makes it very clear that he does not enjoy colouring or drawing, whereas Olivia has an obvious talent in this area. They have obvious inclinations towards certain activities. They tell us what they are interested in and we can certainly observe this through they repeated behaviour.

These are the traits that need to be developed, traits/strengths that need to be amplified to bring the best out of each child, each person. In simple terms, we need to simplify to amplify.

Time will tell.

Time will tell what truth our children search for

Know YOU – build on your strengths and appreciate your uniqueness

Zachary loves solving puzzles – particularly electronic gadgets or mechanical tools. Zachary had shown a much higher level of patience in the solving of shapes and puzzles than Olivia did at the same age.

It’s just his thing.

Pulling things apart and putting it back together again. He’s always asking the question ‘why?’ and he is very strategic. Already out-thinks me on occasion and he is only three and half years old. He would certainly keep my neurons stimulated as he grows with his strategic constructive debates.

I’ve always believed that due to our short time on earth, we need to firstly identify our strengths and work towards enhancing these through focused and deliberate practise for our future and for the betterment of man-kind.

It’s better use of our 86,400 seconds that we have every day.

Essentially, you need to know You – build on your strengths and appreciate your uniqueness just like my children demonstrate from such a young age. Despite being born from the same genetic blueprint, they differ in so many ways.

Dogs are truly one of man’s best friends

Why work on your weaknesses?

From when we were kids, the school system seemed to encourage the opposite: emphasising our weaknesses and telling us that we need to ‘work on our weaknesses’. Millions of people seem to be spending a lot of time ‘working on their weaknesses’ from the cradle to their grave.

What a waste of time and life!

Overcoming deficits or weaknesses is an essential part of the fabric of our culture, of our society, isn’t it? But why work on your weaknesses?

I mean everywhere we go, we hear stories, see movies, read books about the lotto winner or the underdog who beats one – in – hundred million odds.

It’s everywhere and that is one of the primary reasons gambling is so popular because each and every one of us have been brain-washed in to believing we have great chances of winning even though we may not have the natural ability to win.

However, every day we are bombarded with these stories and we get a deluded sense of the truth. It seems that we tend to celebrate those who triumph over their lack of natural ability much, much more than we celebrate those who capitalize on their innate talents. It certainly makes for ideal TV shows ratings and sells newspapers too.

Champions practise a lot of visualisation and simulation.
To create magic, you need to fuse the worlds of sanity (where you are) with insanity (where you dream/imagine you are, before you are).
That is difficult.
That is one of the key keys.
Don’t stop. Trying. Believing.
Keep on … keeping on. You’ll get there. Everyone always does.
Especially, if you do it with your heart. and ….
with LOVE.

Taking the path of most resistance

As a result of this over-inflated, deluded view of an aspect of success, we have millions of people that chase goals that are impossible. They see these, say, over-night multi-millionaires as THEIR HEROES and the epitome’ of success and so set their sights on conquering major challenges.

Unfortunately for them, this is taking the path of most resistance!

I mean in recent years we’ve all witnessed many examples of these poor souls embarrass themselves on the top reality tv shows looking for talent. How awful is this? I mean I couldn’t understand how people with no talent whatsoever are permitted to get on national tv and perform and get laughed at? It is great for TV show ratings and advertising dollars for the network but isn’t this degrading to the person?

It’s the same for certain sports or careers, it isn’t very difficult to observe that a teaching a fish how to climb a tree like a monkey will always result in disappointment. The fish will never be able to do what a monkey naturally does best and vice versa. A monkey will not be able to swim as well or as fast as a fish in the water. Each individual or animal needs to find the right environment to strive and perform at it’s best.

working to my strengths helped me be one of the best in the world at my chosen sport.
I could not have made it that far in say … basketball. Height is a genetic weakness.
Being strong with lots of power are strengths that when developed helps you achieve your truth.
Your beauty.

Know the difference between positive thinking and delusional thinking

These aspiring contestants then get asked to leave by the judges because, well, they simply suc$ed at it! Then the contestant breaks down and cries. The producers of these shows have milked this sob-story so well and I think most people have had enough of seeing these tear-jerkers.

I used to ask my wife where that poor person’s friends were? Isn’t that a role of a good friend – to tell him/her know how awful he/she is at the particular skill before getting on national tv to get humiliated.

The sad thing is that these contestants actually believe they sound ok. They actually believe that with an opportunity and working hard and getting a tutor, they would somehow miraculously be as good as their idols or as the judges. That to achieve success, it is only and all about hard work. And everyone – the whole audience and viewership seem to believe this too. Now, you could call this type of thinking ‘positive thinking’ but I think it more closer to ‘delusional thinking’.

You should know and understand the difference between positive thinking and delusional thinking. I think many in society believe and practise the latter, unfortunately.

Society does not seem to give credit to innate talent – and that applies to everything in life – in athletic ability, music ability, mechanical ability, spatial ability, emotional ability, spiritual ability etc. Hard work is important to success, yes – but its not the only important thing. Innate ability (or talent) is very important too.

Your life is a continous journey of setting, failing and succeeding in goals … until you … kick the bucket! Keep moving forward, I say!

A person can only perform from a platform of strength

I believe one of the most important responsibilities of parents is to observe and identify the talents and strengths that their children have. This can be done in the very early stages/years of their lives. It will save a lot of heart-ache and pain later in life – in the later teens and early twenties.

It seems that even though we change over time and personalities adapt, scientists have discovered that core personality traits are relatively stable throughout adulthood, as are our perceptions and interests. Even more interesting is that recent studies also show that a child’s observed personality at age 3 is very similar to his or her personality traits reported at age 26.

So, just being more aware as a parent and spending time with your children and really observing them would tell you a lot about their talents. This increased awareness would help give you some idea in the direction they may be more inclined to succeed in their adult lives.

Afterall, a famous management guru said once that a person can only perform from a platform of strength.

A plant of such beauty and delicateness has to have the right environment and conditions to flourish.
You and your strengths need the right environment and conditions to flourish.
FInd yours.

Learn to build on who you already are

Think about you, your life so far.

Are you doing a job that utilizes ALL your strengths? Are you fully utilizing your talents? Or are you doing something that your parents and/or family and friends expected you to do? I’ve seen and heard so many stories about kids entering University and realising they didn’t love Law, for example (which their parents or family expected them to do) was not what they were really good at. They then go back and do another degree or two before discovering their true strengths. Their true love.

They’re still one of the lucky ones.

Are you just doing your current job in a ‘half-hearted attempt’ – doing just enough to get through and not really ‘setting the world on fire?’ Well, are you? Don’t fret, you’re not alone. Apparently, a huge percentage of the world’s population never, ever get to reach their potential because they are not doing a job or work that utilizes their strengths.

Very sad indeed.

Very sad because you only have one life and you are doing something that would not bring your closer to your full potential. Not through the fault of our own but through generations of mis-direction and philosophy partly through the education system. Everyone is brain-washed to believing that they have got to spend all their lives working on ‘their weaknesses’.

One of the keys to human development and/or self-development is building on who you already are.

me in one of the environments where I am at my best and strive to be my best and have the necessary strengths to excel at this. FInd yours.

Journey of self-discovery

To do this, you need to increase your awareness of yourself. You need to be who you are.

But, who are YOU?

Within this journey of self-discovery, I am positive you will find the real strengths that lie within you (if you haven’t already done so).

Identifying your talents and developing them in to real strengths and aligning yourself with the right task is vital to reaching your potential in your life. By putting most of your energy into developing your natural talents, it would seem that extraordinary room for growth exists.

Continuously helping you become the best you can be … BEGIN help by helping yourself.
Then,
Reach out and touch someone … be the light for someone who can only see darkness.
Help them see ‘beauty’ .. see their truth.
Help them manage their insanity with sanity … their chaos with order.
Pray.

Two main conditions for success

I’ve said this before that the two main conditions for success in any sort of work are:

Interest
Confidence

People usually give little attention to these two very important variables because it seems it is very difficult to increase levels of both of these simply by an ACT OF WILL.

I think that is true, you cannot increase confidence by simply WILLING yourself to be. Just as much as you cannot increase your size of your muscles by sitting on your couch and willing it to grow!

This does not mean that it is impossible to change your muscular strength for example. If you lifted weights for repetition and gave your muscles the building blocks of muscle nutrition, you would increase your muscle density.

However, your ability to build muscle is limited to your genetic potential also. So, it seems that confidence and interest can be changed by taking the proper measures and having a step-by-step structured approach to developing these qualities in a certain area.

Important fact: People tend to show a greater degree of intelligence and knowledge in connection with their hobbies than in any other department of life.

You have only one life, so use your available time well.

True Leaders develop Leaders.
Here we have former Australian Rugby Wallaby Captain – Mr Phil Waugh, allowing himself to be led and coached to help him, help himself … find his best self.
Leaders have belief, they have faith but most importantly … they have hope.
That tomorrow will be better than today.

Each to their own

Work on your strengths and pay someone else to work on areas that you are relatively weak at. As a past client of mine use to always say ( he was a board member of several publicly listed companies in Australian and NZ) “each to their own!”. His wife (who I used to train too – for almost 6 years, used to make fun of him and how bad her husband was at using a hammer or tools like that).

He used to always remind me that it was better use of my time to focus on my strengths, saying “Focus on your strengths, son. Focus on your strengths!” and “ each to their own … “.

I agree.

His strength was in numbers and interpretation and story-telling of numbers. He recognised this early and worked and built on his strengths and became the success that he is today.

It is very difficult though, to find your true strengths.

working on what you can’t see is somethimes more important than wha tyou can.
Intuition and ‘feel’ is, I believe more important and more powerful thatn intelligence.
Then, you are ín tune’with the universe

Have Focus

Some people are lucky enough and find their purpose – ie., a cure for cancer or paint pictures. This ONE THING matters to them above all else – above comfort, wealth, respectability, safety, family ties or social obligations.

They have FOCUS.

Very few people are this fortunate and this clear cut in their goals in life, after becoming aware of their strengths very early on. Most men and women, I believe, are prepared to fit in, more or less, with the customs they find around them. To work at any job by which they can earn a reasonable living.

I’ve always asked myself that question – why is this so?

It also seems that there are probably some people who fall between these two stools I have mentioned above. These people (if they utilized and worked on their strengths) could be happier and have more growth and reach their potential in life with great certainty in a vocation that uses these traits.

However, it seems that they may fear or have the lack of self-knowledge or the courage or determination needed to break away from the life which other people expect them to lead.

Read that last sentence again: they are …. Afraid to break away from the life which other people expect them to lead. Afraid to do the work that nature designed them. I believe that maybe, in a perfect world, they would be encouraged to do such work.

Ask yourself: to which type of person do you belong?

Attitude is key at winning in the Game of Life.

Fear of Failure

I think the biggest FEAR that is holding people back is not FEAR OF FAILURE. No, it is really FEAR OF CRITICISM/RIDICULE from family and friends for the decision to pursue something career/vocation that they least expected you to do.

This FEAR OF NOT MEETING OTHER’S EXPECTATIONS OF YOU is what keeps people from taking a risk and believing in their own abilities/talents and working towards developing those.

It is very difficult. It has always been.

This is how it has been for the majority since the beginning of time. So, stop working on your weaknesses, and encourage your children to spend time and effort on their strengths. Strengths that you can quite easily observe while you spend time with them.

Reach for your potential through the development of your strengths. Spend more time on them, not your deficits. You’re a complex individual – every human being is. Raise your awareness of yourself and filter down to your top three to five strengths.

Simplify yourself – simplify YOU. Simplify the complex YOU.

Find out WHAT WORKS BEST.

Then, work hard at making these strengths the BEST. Make what works best for YOU, THE BEST. This is amplifying your strengths.

So, it follows that to achieve your potential, you need to SIMPLIFY TO AMPLIFY.

Have no fear.

Remember: No risk, no nothing (with positive thinking – not delusion thinking).

Choose well.

Until next time,

Explaining the fine points of re-engineering the physique and increased self-awareness through enhanced ‘mind-muscle’ connection..

adaptation, awareness, Beliefs, change management, choices, communication, courage, decisions, desire, game of life, gratitude, habits, hope, Imagination, long-term strategy, love, no

Sometimes, local is BEST.

You learn from children and then learn from us.
It is a two-way learning experience, not one way (parents to children like some people think)

My children love going on holidays. They love being on holidays during school holidays.

They have just experienced Christmas and New Year’s celebrations and are still on holidays.

My wife and I decided a while back that we will try and experience more of Sydney, more of NSW, more of Australia before we embark on our discovery of all the other ‘foreign places to visit before you die’.

We just love ‘holidaying local’.

I recently asked my wife her view of the benefits of holidaying local and we agreed on quite a few points and the top 3 were:

We experience less stress
We would like to be made more aware and make our children more aware of the beauty and variety of local destinations and the excellent service they keep.
We get to enjoy all the comforts that we would like to enjoy at a fraction of the cost

Don’t get me wrong, overseas travel is wonderful too. The lure of a different culture and people and food. All fantastic. However, there is so much of Australia I have not seen and have not experienced yet and one of my ambitions is to learn more of the country and its people that I have adopted.

So much to absorb. So little time.

The thing about overseas holidays that really get to me is that even up to the point of getting through the gates and on to the plane, we all seem to be rushing around. Trying to be busy. Sometimes it certainly seems that you have to speed up to slow down, which is, funnily enough the ultimate goal of being on a holiday.

We’re looking to ‘soft our minds’.

When you’re holidaying local, you don’t seem to have that problem. You firstly just tell everyone you know that you’re on holidays and treat it strictly like that or don’t tell anyone at all. You don’t take calls and you don’t return calls. You pretend that you’re holidaying overseas. Difficult to do? No, it isn’t. I simply do this by doing exactly what my two children do when they play ‘pretend games’ of princes and princesses and so forth. They don’t come out of their character roles when they play it and so my wife and I try not to either.

We ‘pretend’ we’re on holidays overseas and enjoy all the trappings but with less cost.

Holidaying local allows us to do more of what we love to do when we are on holiday and that is to ‘be on holiday’. Not spending your time travelling and in transit and increasing your stress levels for no real benefit. Nope, I like ‘softening my mind’ when I am holidaying and unlike overseas planned holidays, I like a little bit more certainty.

Like ordering at McDonalds (once in a while for most of us I hope), the certainty of knowing what I am going to get is reassuring to me. I don’t particularly like surprises. I don’t think most people do either.

I try to, however, not to over exaggerate holidays and all the great time my family experiences together during them. Instead, I remind my children that holidaying is something that we do some of the time. When you look at it as a percentage of our total time spent throughout the year, it is very small. So, when we look at it in this frame, we know exactly where to emphasise our existence – and that is in the beauty and chaos of our simple, daily lives.

I’ve always believed that one aspect of a fruitful life is to see opportunities to make the ordinary – extraordinary. Not overseas. Not in your dreams. No, simply in your everyday life. Try to make the everyday a ‘wow’ experience – for you and your loved ones.

You don’t have to look very far. Just look local. Discover more of the beauty and variety of excellent services that are on offer in your local city or neighbouring city. I’m sure you will find something new if you took the effort to look.

That is the thing though – this approach will take some effort, effort on your part to make the ordinary – extraordinary.

Whenever my family eats, one of us says our prayers not only to bless the food but to also to give thanks for all my family’s blessings. ON top of this we ask for God’s guidance and strength to help and guide our family and friends here and abroad. I try to instil in my children, an attitude of gratitude – daily at a young age.

Giving thanks to God, multiple times daily, reminds us to be in the present but more importantly reminds us not to take anything for granted. It reminds us of how lucky we are. It forces my kids to be in the ‘present’.

I also strongly believe that giving gratitude regularly to your GOD and saying THANK YOU for your blessings is like a bridge from where you are now to the life of your dreams.

My children are getting better at praying now. I tell them to think and deliberately ‘feel’ the words of gratitude that we say in our prayers as saying THANK YOU is a ‘feeling’.

Sometimes, just sometimes, it can be better to stay home and enjoy the family home and environment that you inhabit, something that some of us who live very busy lives don’t really get to do. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is to take some time out to ‘soft the mind’.

This is one of the keys to finding your own definition of success in your life as I believe the better you get at ‘softening the mind’ the better you attract success in to your life.

Remember: your mind is the most powerful success tool you have. Give it rest to get it to perform at its best.

All the very best to you and your family,

Until next time,

Keeping it simple is key

I AM.
Me .. & my constant companion – Mr Fuzzy/Fussy Cuddles

action, adaptation, ageing, awareness, Beliefs, courage, faith, game of life, habits, hope, life, long-term perspective, you

An attitude of gratitude.

Some wise person once said:

“Its not your aptitude, but your attitude that determines your altitude in life.”

Pretty wise words, don’t you think? You probably don’t need to look very far – look at the immediate people in your circle of life to see examples of this aphorism.

Maybe even you.

Being grateful for all that we have is a way of thinking.

You probably have your own way of giving appreciation to whoever you speak to. Whichever way it is, the essence of it is communication and routine. Ideally, giving thanks should be done daily and not only when you’re in real trouble or at a special occasion, like a funeral for example.

It can be done at any time convenient for you.

Me – I try and say a prayer of thanks every time I eat a meal. That is a minimum of six times a day. You pray for the meal to be blessed, thank the good Lord (or whatever higher force you believe in) for your blessings and ask for continued blessings for you, your family and friends and the world at large.

My wife and I have always prayed together, before consuming our meals and we also try to say a prayer before sleeping at night. Our kids have come along and they also join us in prayer. They take turns in leading the prayers now that they are both older.

It’s a family habit. Part of our daily routines.

But I believe there is more to gratitude. It not only reminds us of not taking anything for granted. It humbles us. It puts a certain level of perspective on life.

It is essentially the choice of attitude of the person and their attitude to life. There is magic in being grateful. There is magic in having a thankful spirit.

This magic, I believe, is POWER.

Yes, power!

How is that, you may ask?

Well, I believe a thankful spirit has the power to overcome anger with love; it has the power to subordinate fear with courage; it replaces sadness with happiness and has the power to feel not jealousy but genuine joy at another’s success.

Having a thankful spirit and an attitude of gratitude has the power to inspire productivity and innovation over lack of creativity. Being grateful releases guilt with an heart of forgiveness.

An attitude of gratitude has the power to allow one to grow with an abundance of love
and self-sharing over greed and hatred.

It is a form of power, not as you know it but power none-the-less. An intangible one at times.

So, there you have it, some reasons why I believe that an attitude of gratitude is power.

Knowing that it is a form of power is not power. No, ‘knowing’ is potential power. Applying an attitude of gratitude on a daily basis, now that is power. The power rests in the choosing.

Check your attitude and work on your attitude of gratitude if you think you need to. You may just surprise yourself with how much more you get out of life, by giving more in to it, through choosing your best attitude, always.

Feel, really feel, that intangible power.

Start with a ‘reverse bucket list’ to put some structure to it. Some people do.

What is it? Well, a reverse bucket list is simply a list of things you have done, places you’ve visited and opportunities you have experienced in your life to date. How is this an exercise of gratitude you may be thinking?

You see, when you write it down and then look over what you have written, you can reminisce and be grateful for what you have achieved and done in your life so far. You may even shock and surprise yourself with what you have achieved.

Keep adding to that list as the seconds of life tick by …reminding yourself how lucky you are to be breathing and living life.

When I take my first breath upon waking every morning, I say a quick prayer of thanks to my God, thanking him for being alive. That is the best gift, I believe, anyone alive has been granted.

My whole focus from that moment on is to see how it is that I can be of service to and help people get what they want out of life to the best of my ability.

Also, remember, its not just about adding years to your life, its also important to add life in to those years.

Ask yourself how are you going to best achieve that?

Hint: reflect and give thanks.

Until next time,

Balance & symmetry brings you closer to harmony … to beauty …closer to infinity. Just like mathematics does

adaptation, Beliefs, dreams

Shaken and stirred.

Can you see “me” in my son? Can you see you in your son?

Testing the Boundaries.

I like James Bond movies.

I think I am not alone in this department. A lot of men probably love him (and most women, too). They probably love the idea of him, more than anything else.

He embodies the alter-ego of almost every man on earth. I think every man secretly harbors thoughts of playing out a James Bond fantasy act at one point in their life or another – the fast, slick car that turns heads. The constant jetting in and out of countries. The object of desire of women wherever he goes. And more …

But it’s a dream for most men. Not all, I must add.

A dream to live for.

My son – Zachary (we call him Zach or Zachie) has made me aware of many lessons in life so for. I was made aware of another ‘life lesson’ over the last two weeks. Well, he had been trying to teach me something but I stubbornly and blindly missed it for two weeks and it was only yesterday that it dawned on me.

You see my son has just turned three years old recently and I have noticed that he had been quite rebellious over the last two weeks. Well, that’s how I viewed it. That was my perception of the behavioural changes I had noticed. He wouldn’t respond when called, sometimes, even after being called multiple times. He would blatantly disobey any requests that his mum or me would make of him. He would regularly, cheekily do the exact opposite. He would test our patience with many daily situations and raise our tolerance level for disobedience.

He was and still is ‘testing the boundaries’. He was challenging our authority, questioning the norm. Fair enough!

The future and how you will live it is of paramount importance.

Children begin at a very young age to take control of their lives. Many children I suspect, just like mine, learn how to control their parents’ lives as well, long before they know how to talk in complete sentences.

Whining receives attention. Crying receives consolation. Begging begets goodies. Tantrums create havoc. It is easy to incite mummy against daddy and sit back and watch the show. Just like on TV!

All relationships have a ‘power and control’ button and just like the tide of the sea, ever-so constant, the ‘ebb and flow’ represent the delicate balance of the ‘give and take’ of the relationship.

It is the life-blood of all good long-term relationships. Learning to be a better master at managing this skill is essential to any relationship.

Anyways, I have finally learned the life lesson he was trying to make me aware of and this is where James Bond comes in. You see, James Bond always states the way he likes his martini drink, saying “shaken, not stirred’. That’s the way he likes it.

Sufficient and appropriate for that particular type of drink but not the best option when it comes to life.

Zachary’s inquisitive and rebellious behaviour these last two weeks was one that not only shook but he also stirred it. Hard. With no fear. Without order. No systematic approach adopted here. Nope!

He questioned the status quo. He challenged the way we were doing things. Our current beliefs.

You see it got me thinking about life.

This is a very important practise for everyone in life: To question over-riding theory and paradigm of the day. To question where you’re headed in your life. To reflect on the life you have lived so far, to learn whatever you can from the mistakes and failures you have experienced. But, it is the future and how you will live it that is of paramount importance.

Nope, it is your dream and idea of the future you would love to live – now, this is what is of paramount importance.

You can only do this by firstly, questioning your philosophy in life, in particular, questioning your ‘belief systems’ that got you to this point in life. It is your belief systems – consisting in part of, your values and principles you adhere to in your daily life, it is this that is the compass that guides you. Your GPS as you chart your course through the sea of life.

Captain of your Ship.

As Captain of your ship.

That is exactly what my son Zachary was doing.

He was questioning, through his actions and behaviour, the limitations of ‘the way we did things’ with regards to certain areas in our life (eating with his hands rather than use his utensils). He was questioning the relevance and the basis of certain beliefs we adhered to. His inquisitiveness and zest for life was stretching the boundaries we had placed on him. He was, in effect, challenging the ‘status quo’. Rocking the ship.

And its ok. It is vital. For him. For us, as a family. Asking questions and thinking of alternative solutions is vital to our country. Our world. It is through this questioning attitude that new beliefs are spawned. New ideas created. Ideas, when implemented, results in innovation. Innovation that leads to better life – better education; better health; better communities; better relationships; better quality of life.

A Better attitude to life.

I guess, just like any child his age, it is their imagination that drives them. Belief systems have not been imprinted on their brains yet. Belief systems have a significant impact on an individual’s life and how he/she turns out in adult life and goes as far as where he/she ‘ends up’ in life.

It is your GPS for your life.

Your thought patterns (on self-image, on self-esteem, on self-worth etc), your daily deliberate practices (habits); your character (the ‘essence’ of who YOU are) and ultimately – your ship’s course (destiny/destination) in life is dictated by your GPS (your belief system/philosophy).

To change direction of your ship. To change course, you have to re-set your GPS. You have to re-set your belief system, especially, if it has negative consequences in your life. Beliefs that inflict ‘self-imposed’ limitations on your daily life. Beliefs that were imprinted in your brain when you may have been a child, without you having a choice in accepting it. Before you could choose. These beliefs may have been im-printed by people that had some influence over you in your child-hood – your parents, your grand-parents, uncles, aunties, friends and friends of families, teachers in Primary School, coaches. You name it.

It can be quite daunting to consider all the possibilities and probabilities of risk of each relationship and the impact each had on you and your belief systems. Yes, it can be. But, it still needs to be done if you intend to reach your potential in life and chart your ship in to un-chartered waters. To discover the Captain Cook in you. You need to question their relevance, just like Captain Cook questioned the prevailing belief that the earth was flat all those centuries ago.

The risk of you not doing anything about it is far, far greater to how you live the next phase of your life, especially, the new destination you will Captain your ship to. Your new course in life.

The life you hoped for. The life you imagined.

Its never too late to sit down and write down what your philosophy of life is. What are some of your beliefs? What influence does it have on your daily actions and decisions? Be warned though – you will ‘rock your boat’. This may be a period of genuine unhappiness as you discover many things about your engine of life ( your mind) that was hindering your course through life. You will effectively be doing what my son, Zachary was doing these last two weeks. What he reminded me about some of the important things of life:

To ask questions.
To question authority.
To rock the boat.
To challenge the ‘status quo’.
To pick-apart belief systems.
To ask ‘why not?’.
To be able to choose beliefs that contribute to life – your life, not take away from it.

In life, we all need to periodically ensure that at various stages in life, in particular, as we enter and leave major phases of life, we need to review that our GPS – our beliefs at that point in life, be questioned. We need to question their relevance. Why? Because beliefs, whether you’re aware of it or not, generates what happens in your life. You need to stop continuing believing what does not serve you. What may have been relevant for survival as a toddler or as a teenager or when you were in your twenties, may not be relevant in your forties or post-retirement.

A wise man once told me that if you continue to think and act in the same way, you will continue to get the same result in life.

Change your thinking – change your life.

The foundation of this can be only be done through beliefs analysis. And we know how important a good foundation is to any building or construction work to keep it up and steady.

A relatively easy way of doing this is assessing the impact each belief has on you and your life, once you’ve listed your top ten down on paper. It takes a lot of courage just to do this. Don’t be scared.

We need to re-imprint new, relevant beliefs into our minds. We need to upload a new, improved GPS on to our brains. To help make us better Captains of our ships in the sea of life. As one of the greatest men that ever lived once said:

“The same thinking that has led you to where you are is not going to lead you to where you want to go.” – Albert Einstein.

We need to become a child again. Imagine more, like Einstein encouraged. Imagine better but also imagine responsibly.

My wife insists that I am the biggest stirrer she has ever known. True. But so is James Bond. Oh well, I’ll have to leave that one for another blog.

In the meantime, you need to ensure that at various legs of your charter and captaincy of life, that your consumption of the ‘fluid/drink of life’ is –

…. Shaken and stirred! Very un-like James Bond.

But, that’s perfectly alright. Some dreams are not realistic anyway. Accept it.

That’s life.

Bottoms up!

Thank you, Zachary.

Until next time,

p.s.. thank you too for reading this far … I hope you’ve got some value from this blog.

WHY NOT … paint my chin-beard, purple, I thought? My children were not impressed … ha ha ha!!

body, Energy, life, time, Vitality

Vitality – the essence of life.

My blog name is Valentine Vitality.

Unlike my surname, I adopted the word Vitality not only because it flows off the tongue quite smoothly when used with Valentine, but mainly because I love the word “Vitality”.

Vitality is such a beautiful word. It is all encompassing, like the word heaven. Vitality is the essence of life itself.

A quick reference to the internet and you will find many sub-meanings but I particularly like these two:

the capacity to live, grow or develop and
the principle or force that distinguishes living things from non-living

It also represents ‘energy’. Most of us can be accused of doing our very best to better manage our time. We have been constantly reminded since we were in school of the importance of becoming better time managers. Thousands of books are written every year telling us how to manage our time better, with us wiry-eyed taking notes about how to manage our 86,400 seconds in a day, better, from the many management gurus out there. Does this really help?

In some instances, yes. But in most, I believe – no.

Why? Simply because we are following a paradigm or philosophy that is flawed and we continuously allow ourselves to be bombarded with views from so-called ‘experts’. We should mainly view our daily life not in terms of how ‘busy’ I am and how great I am at managing ‘my time’. No, instead, I believe, we should adopt a more important paradigm/philosophy as more paramount and start a revolution to become better managers of our energy.

Yes, energy.

What is more important than becoming better at time management – it is becoming better at ‘energy management’ which brings you closer to managing your ‘vitality’ or ‘charge’ or ‘life-force’ within you. To do this, you need to find your ‘re-charge point’, your place of serenity. I find mine in the gym. Some may find it in the garden. Others spending time crocheting or with their cars. Those of you who have something, hang on to it. Those of you who don’t, it is imperative for your life, to find it and start re-charging. All things need re-charging. If your mobile phone and computer need it. So do you, my friend!

Everything in your life, either adds to or steals from your vitality, your life force. Be aware of this, diligently.

I once read that if you love life, life will love you back.

You see, I have seen them, so perhaps have you.

People who love life, with bright eyes, taut skins and great smiles. They look as if they have been freshly scrubbed or newly minted, exuding the very definition of Vitality.

How do they do it?

Partly through respect for their bodies, spirit, thoughts and deeds.

You see, Vitality, does not seem to be as objective as weight, exercise, diet etc. It is more subjective. It seems to come from within and rather intrinsic rather than achieved through outwardly efforts(extrinsic).

When you find one of these people with that glow, ask them their secret. Then, contact me please, and tell me all about it.

If a few readers of this blog do this, we might be able to deduce the magic formula worth more than a rainbow’s pot of gold.

Become part of that search, today.

Best of vitality to you!

Until next time …

Changing lives. Empowering people. One life at a time.

Triple A to Life: Awareness. Action. Adaptation.

Tag Archives: essence of life

The greatest expression of self-respect.

A life of significance.

The Grace of Seeds.

Dying to Live.

Mr Vulnerable.

Simplify to Amplify.

Sometimes, local is BEST.

An attitude of gratitude.

Shaken and stirred.

Vitality – the essence of life.