dreams, Goals, Imagination, life, you

Why you should love the “F” word more.

What “F’ word are we talking about? Well, its not the F word that first comes to mind, for some of us and rhymes with duck. No, not that one, but the other, arguably more important “F” word with regards to your journey in pursuit of your definition of success. The word I am referring to is of course, “F” for “failure”.

The key to success is massive failure (Thomas Watson – IBM). So, I guess, we could conclude, that if failure leads to success, then your goal is to fail as best as you can. Yep, strive for failure and don’t stop until you get there, in pursuit of the elusive success formula, everyone is searching for. So, don’t fear the “F” word. Matter of fact, go after it, better and faster than your competition. Fail faster and better than your competition. It would seem that whoever can fail the most and the fastest – WINS!

A business mentor told me once that ‘Paul, bigger, isn’t necessarily, better’. I agree. To a point! I don’t in regards to failure. The bigger, the better. If you’re going to fail – FAIL BIG. Fail big, I say!

So, you could argue that the volume and speed to fail is a determinant of success. I think it was Brain Tracy (America’s Leading Business Authority on Success) that said that “Failure is a prerequisite for great success. If you want to succeed faster, double your rate of failure.” And the one of the ways he said to overcome your fear of failure is to “act as if it were impossible to fail, and it shall be.”

Great failures is on the list of success. You can only experience growth through failure as you constantly try to improve and tweak, iterate and improve. Failure is the gateway to the ‘next level’.

“F” your way to success! What do you think? Do you agree? Let me elaborate.

We should not be concerned as to why we have failed. You should learn lessons from GROWING THROUGH failure. Seeing failure as a growth stepping stone, you can learn not only to accept failure and learn from it but more importantly, learn to pick yourself up quicker … learn to get up off the ground, faster …. Learn to take that step forward again …. Have the courage to get over that hurdle and the next time …. Succeed.

One of the many things I love about Arnold Schwarzenegger (besides him being one of the best bodybuilders of all time), is that in his Hollywood movie-making phase of his life, he always asks writers and producers who give him countless movie scripts for him to consider to act in is: what would the movie poster look like. The movie poster needs to ‘sell’! Smart man. I think, we can all learn from him and his approach to certain elements of his life. In terms of posters and the road to our own success, maybe, just maybe, we should become the poster-child for failure. Yep, become your own Poster. Make your movie poster (for failure) and sell. Do it big!

Have you experienced many failures in your life thus far? I’m sure we all have. Small failures and big failures. Failures in examinations, in relationships, in financial dealings, in sporting endeavours. I’m sure, if you thought candidly about your life thus far, your life would be littered with many examples of the F word: Failure. I know mine is.

As most of some of you know, I am a natural bodybuilder. I have been competing on the bodybuilding stage for about 20 years now, on and off. I love everything about muscle. The human body is made up of more muscle than anything else. Your heart is a muscle, your stomach is a muscle, you have skeletal muscle to hold you upright and carry your skeleton and organs in the direction you want. As far as skeletal muscle is concerned, I eat for muscle, rest for muscle, exercise for muscle and I teach my clients about muscle and the maximization and optimization of muscle retention, using my framework of body re-engineering. Someone once told me that I was just a ‘ball of muscle!”. I took that as a compliment. Anyways, bodybuilding is an avenue for self-improvement. It is a lifestyle, just like a surfer lives his lifestyle. Just like a martial artist is a martial artist every day of the week and not only on the weekend. Bodybuilding as I see it is the never-ending pursuit for balance, aesthetics and beauty and a daily appreciation of what God has given us (our body, mind and spirit) and the hope and faith that I am striving to BE THE BEST I CAN BE and DO THE MOST I CAN with what has been given to me. I think there are parallels with what it means to be a Christian or to be a follower of a faith/religion. Not doing my best and not giving my best is anti-christian and the height of hypocrisy (probably for most religions in the world too). Being a Christian, I think, demands going beyond mediocrity, demands a higher standard, more devotion to your life. More devotion to the task of living. More devotion to life itself. That is the essence of bodybuilding. Oh, and you train and work your muscles, too.

Anyways, in all those years of competition, I have come up against many formidable competitors. The biggest competitor to me was – ME. Each year, I came up against myself. My whole goal when I started was to make ME better than yesterday, than last month, than last year … and maybe, as I hoped, I will present the best of me one day. I felt comparing myself to myself was the relevant comparison as you could artificially feel good with a result because you came 1st but results could be mis-leading because the line-up could have been average or mediocre. Sometimes, it is better to come last in high-calibre line-up. So, your placings do not reflect the quality of the competition, and statistics can lie. We all know that. Politicians know that. However, it is lovely to come first and be considered the best built bodybuilder on that day and saying that I didn’t like coming first would be telling a lie. That day came and went many times. However, I also missed first place many times. I came second countless times. Made third many other times. Sometimes, I never made the podium at all and never got a second ‘look’ from the judges. It hurt. Failing to win, felt bad. Failing to make the top 3 felt even worse. I wouldn’t lie. Months of focus and dedication came down to a few minutes on stage under strong lighting. Strike! You are asked to execute standard bodybuilding poses and ‘strike!’ the judges would call out. Failing to win or get a place, hurt. However, each competition I did, each line-up I stood in, each year that went by, I learned to overcome my disappointment in failing to win a bodybuilding contest – better. I got better at dreaming. I saw failing at winning these contests as ‘successful experiences’. I saw failing as something that was necessary. Something that was necessary to make me a better bodybuilder. A better person. What mattered to me was ‘progress’. Was I making progress to being a much better bodybuilder. A much better human being. Each failure got me one step closer to knowing ‘myself’ better and as I did, my standards rose too … so much more that it resulted in my representing Australia twice in 2007 and 2008 World Natural Bodybuilding Championships in New York , USA. I placed in the Top 5 in both years. Top 5 in the World. Not too bad. It started with a dream. It was only through the many contest failures that I started dreaming more. Bigger. I ‘super-sized my dreams’ … and became what I believed. I became a top ranking natural bodybuilder in the whole World. Each contest failure made me better. Each contest failure got me closer to succeeding. Each failure made me dream bigger. There are many parallels in the journey through life. So, if you are going to dream, dream BIG, I say! I looked and still look at bodybuilding contests as beacon of hope … and keeping my hope alive .,.. making one definite step to being better … holding on to the hope that my best days are ahead. And I daily tell myself: they are. You should too, in your journey through your life.

I believe seeing failure as ‘good’ in any area in life it occurs in, whether it be in business, in exams, in relationships. It does not matter what it is. Just make sure you take the lessons you are to learn from it and try to do it better next time. Failure helps you become better. It helps you become your BEST. Stay ‘big-picture’ oriented as failure should be seen as a ‘break-through’ and not as a ‘break-down’. It is a matter of perspective.

Change your perspective, change your results. Change your life direction.

Never let your fear of failure sabotage your forward progress. You need to break that cycle of fear of failure. Most failures we experience can be tied to 1 or 2 things or both: 1) Poor decision 2) Bad strategy or plan.

There are many ways to manage failure when you are experiencing it. One of the ways I like is to remind yourself of positive mild-stones and battles/wins you have had in the past. In the midst of failure, you need to ‘rewind’ the tape of your life and remind yourself of your successes in your life. Whatever you’re in, whatever failed adventure you’re in, remember: you’re not STUCK IN IT! It is only temporary. Wherever you’re headed in life, whatever goal you have set yourself, whatever obstacles you will have to face on your way to knowing your truth, remember: its not a matter of ‘if’ … its just a matter of time. You will get there. A great thinker once said that:

“If it were not possible to fail, it would be impossible to succeed. If it were not possible to lose, there would be no such thing as winning”.

Don’t let your fear of failure sabotage your forward progress. You need to break that cycle of fear of failure. You need to continue with the idea that there is nothing wrong with failing … .and there is everything wrong with ‘not trying’. I somewhat believe that the fear of failure is nothing more than a self-confidence issue. You see it everywhere in life … all areas of life, e.g., in examinations, picking up a potential date in a social situation, sales calls … living in the past is a problem.

It probably comes down to two rules:

  1. NEVER give your power away to an event that has not yet occurred (for example, if you’ve spilled milk on the floor, there’s little point crying about it … just wipe it up and go get a new pack of milk)
  2. GET GREAT!

I would attribute success coming down to habitual excellence (refer to a prior blog on the importance of self-regulatory behaviour):

1) Being your best

2) Being the BEST at what you do (your industry, your state, your country, the world)

As I mentioned in previous blogs, I get my daughter to say a little prayer every night before bed and every time she leaves me for school, she says “God, help me be the best I can be. For me and for everyone else”. A simple, yet profound prayer. A talk to her subconscious mind to be at her best – always. This simple prayer, helps everyone else to then get the best of her, too.

An attitude strengthening-exercise for the mind. Just like you need strengthening exercises to increase skeletal muscle, one needs what I call “attitude strengthening-exercises’ for the mind.

Just like bodybuilding competitions, each attempt makes you better. Each failure makes you better. There are parallels to life. If you are a business man/woman, when you get better at business, business will get better for you. If you are a student, when you get better at being a student, grades get better for you. It follows then, that when you get better at life, life will get better for you. All reluctance is a symptom of lack of confidence. This leads to not attracting success. Maybe, you need to change your perspective on failure to:

“I am not judged by the number of times I have failed. I am judged by the number of times I succeed. The number of times I succeed is in direct proportion with the number of times I have failed and keep on trying”.

Like I have taught my daughter, “never, ever, ever, ever … ever give up!”. It is a belief of hers now.

I keep a bodybuilding contest journal. After each contest, I self-critique my plan and my performance and make new goals for the future contests, based on what I have learned from the one I had just done. If you don’t already do this, maybe, you could probably get in to the practise of having a success journal – write down everything, for whatever area in life you’re working to getting more success from.

Ask yourself these 3 questions when you have failed at something:

  1. what did I learn (this experience)?
  2. How can I use this as a positive force in the next contest/phase of life?
  3. what skill or strategy that I need to re-group on to never experience this again.

I love that NIKE logo : Just DO IT! So simple, yet so powerful. Some say, success is defined as ‘successful failure’. Then, just do it. Just Fail!

Having a good support network is vital in picking yourself up when you’ve fallen down. When you’ve hit a hurdle in life and hit the ground! There is much more talk about failure and very few talk about tolerance for it. You need to increase your tolerance to failure and this comes only from not fearing failure. The only true failure is the failure to TRY. Dreaming up possibilities/hopes and making it real is success. What matters is that you are doing it.

The biggest failure is FEAR. Having the desire to learn those important lessons from learning from other people’s mistakes. Life is too short to try to experience hurt/failure ‘first-hand’ all the time. If someone says that you will get burned if you ‘play with fire’, you should take heed of that advice and not try to get yourself burned because you would like to experience it for yourself. Stupid. As a child, an uncle of mine used to mutter sometime when he observed something happening “Stupid is, stupid does!”

Don’t be stupid. There are enough people out there doing that already.

I think it was Thomas Edison that said something to the effect that : “I haven’t failed. I just have found 10,000 ways things won’t work”. Like the desire to become a better bodybuilder, it takes years and years of dedication to build quality, dense muscle, that proportionately flows from head-to-toe. Then, using the stage as your canvas, you then master the art of painting a living, breathing picture of ‘art in motion’. Beauty and aesthetics in motion. The first thing I resolved very early in my bodybuilding career is to focus on long term. I think that is the first challenge for everyone in life. Life is not to be viewed from the eyes of a hare. One should try to look at it through the eyes of a tortoise. Your challenge: don’t be focused on short-term success, need to focus on long-term and I think many people strive too hard for perfection. This is a futile goal. I have learned one very important thing from all my years competing. There is no 100% rule, there is no secret to success in bodybuilding. Everyone does it their own way, through learning from others and learning what is best for them. This is the same for life. There is no 100% rule in Life. It is through failure, that you succeed in life.

There is one powerful point I have learned through bodybuilding though: it is the search for BALANCE. Balance of the flow of muscle. From top-to-bottom. Balance of muscle. Balance of the mind-muscle connection. This also flows in to all areas of life. We are all searching for balance and beauty. This is a universal appeal. This is what being human is. Need to keep the pendulum swinging … the ability to look for balance! Failing is part of that search for your sense of balance within yourself and also finding your place in this world (refer to an earlier blog called ‘The Pendulum of Life’).

Balance and the search for balance is the ESSENCE of Life. Life, itself, is about balance. The human body strives for balance, for homeostasis, constantly evaluating and accepting change whilst keeping everything in equilibrium. In balance. Nature is constantly striving for balance, as it is constantly in a state of order and chaos, of progress and of entropy. Just like building muscle – you’re constantly ‘breaking it down’ to allow growth and new muscle, bodybuilding follows the same formula for Nature: for progress and new growth, you need to destroy – stimulate and annihilate. This is the same for life and progress. This is why nature needs fires in bush-land. To allow new growth, through destruction. You need to keep pushing the boundaries, your own self-imposed boundaries and limitations. Ridding yourself of the fear of the “F” word, of failure and learning to love it and love it more, lifts you to another level. To another consciousness level.

In Physics, the second law of thermodynamics suggest that all physical systems, however efficient they are, inevitably undergo some sort of degeneration over time. The ordered energy within them degrades into disordered energy or chaos. When applied to the universe and nature, as a whole, that in any physical process, the entropy of the entire universe goes up a little bit but the universe overall, gets a little bit more chaotic! The universe, itself, is constantly striving for balance.

However, in your search for balance, amidst all the confusion that life throws at you, remember one thing: the answer rests in YOU. In your mind. How do you lift yourself up from confusion, misery, melancholy and failure? How do you absolve yourself from emotional and physical bondage? How do you get to the road of freedom, happiness and peace of mind?

The answer: your mind – specifically, your subconscious mind. Refer to some of my earlier blogs on clues to finding growth, through your mind.

We covered a lot of ground with that “F” word and I think we should all learn to love it more. Build up your hours with your “F” word. It is said that you become a ‘world class expert’ in a chosen field with a minimum of 10,000 hours of deliberate practise. Build up your hours with that F word. Become your expert.

Become GREAT at it …and you may just achieve your definition of success!

Until next time.

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Too many mind.

To dig deep, you have to dig deep.


My grandfather told me … 

Yes, not who are you… no, what are you?

My grandfather told me when I was very young that – “You are what you constantly think about every day. “ My grandfather was a bit of a philosopher as I later inferred.

Well, great. I guess, we had better think life-affirming thoughts then, shouldn’t we?

I think so.

Thought has power.

Thought has power.

You’re probably aware of that already… but how do you use that power – consciously?

Thought has energy. What is Energy? One would immediately think of an energy drink. Energy does not vanish., it is never created nor destroyed. It does not disappear. It persists for all of time. All of eternity. Energy transforms from one medium to another or many.

To think, really think .. is probably the hardest thing To do in life

Energy is life.

Energy TRANSMUTES.

Energy transmutes from one moment to another. Energy is the life-blood of life itself. Without energy,  I would cease to exist. You would cease to exist. Life, as we know it, would cease to exist.

So, it could be argued that energy is life and that would make Einstein one of the greatest thinkers that has ever walked this earth.

Why?

Simply, because I think he came up with a formula that fundamentally sums up Life. And what formula would that be, Paul? Well, I’m certain everyone who is reading this knows this following formula:

Energy (E) = Mass (m) x (C x C),    where C = Speed of light

Or, in layman’s speech – E = M C squared.

In the Quantum world the Experimenter becomes part of the experiment.
That is the “hard problem” of the Quantum

Everything is energy, including your thoughts. 

So, if life is Energy, then based on the formula above, everything is energy – all matter, and matter being gas, liquid and solid…. & everything in-between.

Energy is everything and everywhere and omni-present.  It could be said that Energy is God, because God is omnipresent too. The formula above describes that of classical physics but in Quantum Physics, the energy of a particle in its simplest forms (photon, proton etc) within a system is summed up in another famous formula by Physicist – Max Plank:

That Energy (E) = the wave vibration of the particle x Plank’s constant.

Phew, what is that Paul, some of you may ask?

Well, it simply says that everything is energy and that each sub-system of a system, for example, a particle, has a certain wave frequency and oscillates at that wave-length. It should also be noted that Quantum particles can exist in two or more states or locations simultaneously and can be mathematically described by a Quantum wave-function. Interesting findings by science, isn’t it? So, energy is everywhere. Everything is energy, including your thoughts.

So, What does that say? What does that tell us about thought?

Everything has a frequency, everything has a resonance. What is your resonance? What resonates with you?

Are your thoughts … Oscillating in a wavelength that is healthy?

Well, we have got to ask ourselves what frequency of thought we are on and if we are oscillating in a wavelength that is healthy. If we are not, can we and what do we need to do to change our thought operating frequency (from negative to positive) and make the change to a different thought oscillation, making this your default. Your default way of thinking.

So if everything is energy, I also think we have got to devote more thought ( as I’ve established is a form of energy) … devote more thought to energy itself but in particularly, in our management of energy.

Back to my opening statement about thought.

What are you?

You become what you think of, everyday.

It is said that any thought held unwaveringly in mind, or any thought held constantly in mind through focused concentration and brought into the conscious mind often enough, seemingly, attracts to it those qualities of the human mind which it most resembles. Basically, you become what you think, every day.

A thought is like a seed put in the ground, that produces a crop that is of its kind and how healthy it turns out depends on the nutrients and caring it has from its internal and external environment.

Therefore, one must watch one’s thoughts.

It is dangerous to allow the mind to hold any thought which is destructive. Why, because, such thought will manifest itself in the physical sense, sooner or later. Be careful, I say, be careful! Just like the seedling needs constant nutrition and nourishment from the sunlight and healthy soil to keep them alive, so does the qualities of your mind. Without proper nutrition and nourishment, everything that lives and grows, dies.

Everything.

Feel the interconnectedness of everything
Live 4 2day

Nutrition for the mind is as important… than nutrition for the body.

The qualities of the human mind also dies, if one does not nourish it and constantly feed it the nutrition it needs to live and develop. Nutrition for the mind is as important, if not, more important than nutrition for the body. How do you do this, I hear you ask?

Simple. Keep it simple, stupid (The KISS principle I learned from one of my business mentors).

Like, any plant would: learn to become more aware (of your thought/thoughts), concentrate and think about it, making the correct choice and then apply (or use it). My philosophy of the Triple A can be adopted here. Refer to an earlier blog for an elaboration on the first A: Awareness.

Are you a spirit… a soul … a leaf 🍃 of consciousness in the vast seas of consciousness?

No one has ownership of your mind, but YOU.

No one has ownership of your mind, but you.

Yes – YOU!

You do not need anyone else in this world to help you manipulate your mind so it will function as you want it to. You also have control over your mind, no matter where you are in life, which phase you  are in life, but provided you exercise the right rather than allowing others to do so for you.

Better control and ownership of your mind and choosing to exercise these factors will allow you to free you of the curse of all fears and stagnation. And why is this important? Well, because I believe that there is a growing hidden epidemic in mode-day societies (one of many) and that is many are suffering from –

Too many Mind.

We’re all swinging like a pendulum .. continuously moving between two points – activity & non-activity/ entertainment/rest . Creating waves 🌊…in the universe

Clutter to the mind is akin to weeds are in a garden.

Your mind is made up of the hardware and the software.

The software keeps changing, keeps getting updated, every day, every second of the day, for some. What happens when you fill your tummy up with so much crap, when you eat too much ….

Well, you feel like crap, don’t you?!

Well, that is also what happens when your nutrition for the mind is also crap. If you keep feeding it crap, you will think and ultimately act like someone who is physically ill. But like I said earlier, who has ownership and control of your mind?

You, yes – YOU!

Not managing your food for your body well enough, can make you very ill, just like mis-managing your nutrition for your mind. This leads to chaotic thoughts, which ultimately causes increased clutter & “noise” in the mind, which then leads to bad decisions, because of lack of focus, which then causes distress in the physical world.

Clutter to the mind is akin to what weeds are to a beautiful garden. The weeds feed on the limited resources and sometimes overgrow and overtake the area, affecting the proper growth of the desired plants. Even killing them off.

So, watch your thoughts, I say. Be the best gardener you can be for your garden! Thoughts, positive or negative GROW STRONGER when fertilized with CONSTANT REPEITITION. Remember this.

My idol.

Too many thoughts = Too many mind.

Too many thoughts = too many mind. 

Very similar to that age old saying – “too many cooks spoil the soup.” That I heard adults saying when I was a child. If you have too many thoughts … too many mind … running chaotically through your consciousness … you muddle up the soup .. muddle up or clutter up … your most precious resource: your Mind.

Clutter doesn’t do much more than cloud up or congest one’s life. One’s mind. Its like a ship with too many destinations  and being paralysed with motion as it has too many competing travel plans. I’m not sure who said this but some thinker, I think it was Einstein, that taught us a big lesson: he felt it was more important to use your mind to “think” than to use it as a warehouse for facts.

That if you could record the information somewhere, then do so, hence freeing up your mind for more important decisions. So, do just that. Don’t use your brain as a storehouse of information, it will just cause unnecessary clutter. Instead focus on the thinking or thought process behind the intelligence. That is why my kids are amazed that I have over 35,000 unread emails in my gmail inbox. I chose yo filter out unnecessary “stuff” and stopped weed from using up my brain cells and cluttering my mind.

Let your light bring colour to the world. Focus 🧘🏾‍♂️ your thoughts 💭 on the area you want the rainbow 🌈 to land

The ability to know how to get information is more important than using the mind as a garage for facts.

The ability to know how to ‘get information’ is more important than using the mind as a garage for facts.

What really matters is not how much intelligence you have, but HOW YOU USE what you do have. The thinking that guides your intelligence is much more important than the quantity of your brainpower. In other words, the thinking that guides your intelligence is much more important than how much intelligence you may have.

Does science have the answers?

All the answers to the truth? The answers we may have to harvesting the mind? What truth is this? What is truth? What is science anyway … it could be seen as a makeshift, a means to an end which is never attained?

Could nature be truth? Could the universe be truth? Where is the source of our knowledge? Do we know everything? Do we think we know something? Are we, as human beings, so arrogant to think we know something … our so-called meagre knowledge … and maybe, missing out on the advantages of actual ignorance.

A man’s ignorance may not only be useful, but can be seen as beautiful. Sometimes, knowledge can be worse than useless and worse still – ugly!

A butterfly 🦋 knows when to fly and when to sit and feed.
Timing is everything in their life.

Where and how can you harness your mind?

So, where and how can you harness your mind, de-cluttering it in the process. Well, one way, is to get you dreaming again … to spark your imagination. To do this, you could try to fall in love with nature. Become one with nature. Become one with the universe. Let nature become one with your spirit – your subconscious. This would allow the mind to be fertilized and bear fruit in the garden, the garden of your subconscious, the fruit of which is imagination.

How would you know which of your thoughts is valuable: a clue could be any thought that comes to your mind, that is anything, but what you thought….& resonates with your heart ❤️.

That is imagination. Imagination is key: A key gift to you in your journey through life.

So become more aware of your thoughts, and then, catch that ‘aha’ thought that you weren’t trying so hard to think about. Unthink to think (refer to an earlier blog on this).

Until next time,

P.

Tesla, Einstein’s hero was so “in-tune” with the Energy & understood HOW to harness that Power energy

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Dad’s old wallet

Mimicry is the most flattering form of appreciation. It’s another level altogether. Makes you feel like a ‘God’ … a god on earth!

How is your wallet? How long have you had yours for? Did you get a new one for Christmas? Do you still use the old one? Is has almost every receipt you ever had in there? Are you cards bulging out the seams of the wallet? Maybe, you need a new one. Well, my wife was struggling to think about what to get me for my Christmas gift last year until I told her that I thought I needed a new wallet to replace the 12 year old one I had. There was a sign of relief from my wife as she finds it difficult buying a present for me most of the time. The old wallet was still functionally fine. The main reason I needed a new wallet was that the transparent photo holder was damaged. The plastic was no longer transparent but translucent now. So, light passed through but one could not see through it. So, this meant that I couldn’t clearly see the photo I had in there of my wife and two children. It was irritating me for months because every time I wanted to look at it or show it to someone I had to painstakingly pull it out of the photo pouch. Little irritants. One needs to reduce these in life, if you can.

On Christmas Day as we sat around our Valentine Christmas Tree that we all put up together, my beautiful daughter, brought me my little wrapped Christmas gift, saying, “Dadda, this is for you”.

It was perfect. Just my style. It was me. Re-confirmation that my dear wife, knows ‘me’.

As I cleaned out my old wallet and chucked out all the unnecessary documents (accumulated stuff) in there, I announced loudly that I would give my old wallet to my son. Well, that was the end of that!

He was enthralled with it. I mean, he couldn’t leave it alone. He went everywhere with it for 2 whole days … just him, his favourite stuffed dog called “Foof, and the wallet. He had so many other gifts from family and friends but wanted nothing to do with it. What he wanted was dad’s old wallet.

Got me thinking. Got me thinking about role models in life. About the importance for each and every one of us to have a male and female role model. Yes, no one is perfect but we still need a beacon of hope … a light at the end of the tunnel … a shining example of a human being at all phases in life that we could adopt certain traits we admire from. We’ve just got to be honest with ourselves and keep our eyes open.

It was one of the best feelings I have felt in my life. My two year old son owning my old wallet. Going everywhere with it. Out to visit relatives, to shopping malls … to the toilet … to local parks … playing with the ‘old cards’ in there … tossing and turning it in bed … holding it close to his body. No one was allowed to touch the wallet for a while there, not even me. I felt very special on this occasion, just for being me. My blood. My son, loving my discarded wallet, like it was another ‘Foof’.

He gave me the biggest form of flattery I have ever experienced, my two year old son. My son was teaching me a few lessons of life and he didn’t know it yet. What lessons, I hear you say?

I have heard countless times that parents have a huge job in teaching their off-spring values and principles. True, but not totally. I believe that there is a reciprocity in this relationship too. Like all relationships, it’s a two way street. Both parties teach each other something, as long as the parties involved are open-minded and are willing to learn the lessons to be had. A child-parent relationship is no different. The parent just has to be aware of the lessons that his/her child is teaching.

Anyways, I believe it was an exercise in self-image.

He was modelling himself off me and I guess he is constantly doing that daily. He was indirectly practising two images:

  1. What you “see” is what you get.
  2. Who you “feel” is who you are.

At two years of age, the child has no care in the world. No stresses. No fears as yet. For us though, we could read one message through the intersection of the two points I made above: that most, if not all your limitations, are self-imposed. I think I heard someone say once that – it is not what you “are” that holds you back, it’s “what you think you are not.”

I saw that my son was pretending to be, me. He was dad for a day. He loved it. He went everywhere with me (me being my wallet). The wallet helped his imagination. The wallet (that was part of me … as he cannot wear my shoes right now .. the wallet is more manageable) helped him create his reality. A pretend life.

Made me think about us adults and how we behave. It seems, that individuals behave, not in accordance with reality, but in relation with their ‘perception of reality’. How you feel about yourself is EVERYTHING. As everything that you ever do or aspire to do will be based on your ‘self-image’.

I observed my son’s behaviour change, ever so slightly, when he hung on to my old wallet. Dad’s old wallet. It would seem that self-image is fundamental to understanding human behaviour. It seems that if you change your self-image, you change your personality and behaviour. My son’s self image is still being formed. I think the owning of my old wallet, was a significant moment in his development. Since birth, he has been and is constantly forming his own intricate web of self-images, that he alone is imagining in his mind. These self-images are fundamentally based on the beliefs sprung from every thought and experience he has ever had so far, every loss and win he has and will experience.

Observing him intently, I concluded that he had a ‘mental picture’ of himself when he had dad’s old wallet. That he was somehow – me. This mental picture or photo controlled him. These ‘mental photos’ control all of us. What mental pictures or photos do you have of yourself? Do you say things like “I have a terrible memory”. Or, “I’m never on time.” Or, “I’m a born loser”. Ask yourself what your inner self has been telling you. That second person. That second voice. That little voice on your shoulder.

Understand one thing: from what I have observed in life thus far, you CANNOT OUTGROW THESE SELF-IMPOSED LIMITS. You can ONLY SET NEW LIMITS. New threshold limits. You then learn to live within these limits as comfortably as you can. This feeds in to your self-image.

Your self-image is a function of your mind. Like a segment of a car engine performs a specific function. Your self-image determines the kind and scope of person you are – it is your ‘metabolic rate’ or your metabolism. As you know, everyone has a different metabolic rate – the rate at which your body consumes energy. So, basically, what my son was imagining was his perception of reality when he ‘owned dad’s old wallet, and this is the same for us adults. Apparently, scientists have agreed that the human nervous system cannot tell the difference between an actual experience and an experience imagined vividly, emotionally and in detail.

Wow, how about that? Vividly, emotionally and in detail.

What this tells me instantly, is that you need not only to start dreaming more often, you need to start attempting to dream better. Much better.

I think we can all try to imagine or dream, better. I think we can all try to learn how to play ‘pretend games’ like little children again. Like how my daughter plays a mermaid, called Bianca … and plays it so seriously. I can’t even call her real name out, without being scolded. Maybe, we should start playing “lets pretend” games again as adults.

Maybe, that is one of the secrets of finding the “winner’ in you again. Maybe, I think it was Einstein that said “imagination is power” or to that effect. If the self-image dwells at the subconscious level or ‘metabolic level’, and it does not know the difference between what is true and false, then maybe, the key to improving your self-image is playing ‘pretend games’ like my children do everyday. It seems that a permanent change in your personality or behaviour comes from a change in your self-image, which is influenced by your environment. Playing pretend games with yourself, like enlarging your universe … or area you would like to improve on … one where your subconscious is fed with roles that you pretend play with … of whomever you want to be. The subconscious mind or your metabolism part of your engine cannot tell the difference between “The real you” and “The one you see”.

So, before trying to change external influences in your life, try turning within… within you… within yourself. Try imagining more. Try dreaming more, maybe try dreaming again. Learn the secrets of imagination. Learn it through interaction with children. Learn from them. How they immerse themselves totally in whatever role they are playing. You were once a kid. I believe you still have that ‘kid’ still inside of you, you just have to let him/her out. Realize the tremendous importance of self-image is to you and your life. Understand the vital role of your imagination and what it plays in the creation and up-grading of your self-image. That if, you cannot possibly ‘see’ yourself doing something, achieving something, you literally cannot do it! This is NOT A LIE. This is LAW. A Universal Law! Become aware. Apply the law. Adapt accordingly. It could mean finishing on the podium in the various areas of your life or just being ‘just making up competition in the line-up’. See yourself winning.

Try this: If you spend time around young children, become a storyteller and use your imagination and run wild with stories for the children. Keep trying. See how this may change your world. If you don’t spend time around children, try limiting your television viewing and instead set aside 20 to 30 minutes a day to try to relax and imagine yourself achieving and enjoying your most personal desires. Try picturing yourself in a scene of family happiness, or relishing a personal triumph at work or achieving some if not all the News Resolutions you have set for yourself or still setting for yourself as you read this. Try to ‘feel’ the event. Connect it to your heart.

Like I tell the many people I have helped over the years when I get them to exercise their skeletal muscles in the gym, the essence of working your muscles is ‘feeling it’. Its not in how much you lift, the essence is in how you feel the muscle contracting and extending (working on improving that ‘mind-muscle connection’) throughout the range of motion of the chosen exercise. I tell them to leave your ego at the gym door. If you’re not feeling the muscle, you’re not totally understanding what ‘working the muscle’ means. The essence of working a muscle. Like all things learned though, it takes time to develop this.

So, just like working your skeletal muscles, ‘feel’ the event in your heart and mind (your ‘other mind-muscle connection’, as your heart is a muscle). Like I said earlier in the blog, the imagined event/experience is to be vivid, emotional and detailed. This is the work you do when you are away from the gym.

Feel it!

I have told the many people I have helped in my transformation programs over the years:

Change within, to change without”. The only person that can instigate help for “you” is, YOU. I then provide the vehicle in my many programs to help them achieve just that. With success.

Believe it so!

Change and upgrade your self-image(within). Change your world(without).

If you’ve made it this far in reading this blog, here is a star “*” for you. Well done.

All the best!

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Find your tune

What’s in a name?

What’s in your name?

A lot? Not much? I think there’s quite a lot, seemingly. Anyways, many people are at it .. changing names, that is. A good friend of mine from my undergraduate Uni days  mentioned only a few days ago that he was going to change his name and also his son’s names. Yep, wind of change is in the air for this Father-Son and family relationships.

I am happy for him.

But it got me thinking, about names, and name changing, that is. Companies do it, sometimes with so much speed – designing company logos is a huge industry. Its big business. Who else does it? Whole countries do it. People do it, particularly when they marry and un-marry. Some people drop the name Michael for Mike, because it is more ‘them’.

Being different is important. Being different has its benefits. Being different also has its costs. Changing one’s name can be seen to give you a license to be different, as it can be seen to be an award to the ‘self’, by the self. A ceremony unto itself.

My beautiful wife told me after we got married that she had decided when she was younger that she would only change her name to her husband’s name, surname that is, if she liked it. She now has my name. Phew, I’m very happy she liked my surname – “Valentine”. It is however, very interesting to note that many people these days do not change their names when they marry. Why, I wonder? For many reasons, I guess. Maybe, it’s an indication that they want to be different. Being different sets you apart. Maybe, that’s one reason.

Do you want a license to be different? Have you thought of it? Maybe, changing your name gives you a start to find a ‘new you’? Do you want a ‘new you’? Maybe, it’s a start …. A new start, a new beginning, a rebirth even … of a new – YOU. There are only two questions you need to ask yourself:

  1. Why do you want to forget the ‘old you’?
  2. Who will you decide to be?

Closing the door to the ‘old you’ is very powerful but very difficult to do. Who are you running away from? What are you running away from? Can you run away? Can you out-run the old you? Only you can answer that.

The second question is: Who will you decide to be? You, I hope! Be all you can be. Be – YOU. Being you, is different. Appreciate your difference. You don’t need to be the same as everyone else. Don’t copy your colleagues or friends, instead set your own standards, your own bench-marks. Make your own definition of success. Do you want to live your life as ‘you’ or do you want to one day, die, knowing that you were on earth under false pretences. That you just pretended to live.

So, a very important question you’re probably thinking right now, and which relates to the subject heading of this blog is ‘how do I know when I am me?’ A very good question indeed. Not just for you, but for everyone – every individual, companies, countries even.

I think you’ll probably feel it, rather than see it, when you’re, you. Or maybe, not. Maybe its when you’ve accepted that you’re part of the universe, part of nature – ever changing. Complete. As beautiful as nature. Maybe, one has to get lost or like the philosopher Henry Thoreau said to the effect, something along the lines that ‘not til we have lost the world, do we begin to find ourselves, and realize where we are and the infinite extent of our relations’.  Should you? Can you? It may be the best thing you will ever do for yourself. You. To find yourself. The real you. Not a pretend you, the real you.

Back to the question: how do I know when I am me? Maybe, its something we cannot define. Maybe, we’ll notice it when we’ll see it … like when we see nature in action. The immense beauty of everything nature has to offer … from the beauty found in a snowflake to the thunderous roar of thunder to the scorching heat of deserts, to the ebb and flow of the sea tide to the myriad of examples of the beauty that is everywhere in nature. We can never have enough of nature, I think. You never tire of the more obvious ones, like a sunset or a sunrise. Just like nature, we can never have enough of beauty.    

Nature does not pose any questions and gives no answers to any which we may ask, but we live and breathe it, nature that is, if we just stop for but a second to appreciate it. You can see, smell, taste, hear, feel that everlasting something to which we are all drawn to. Like a magnetic attraction, ever drawn towards the power that is .. the universe. And all of its glory, and all of its beauty, in every sense of the word.

So, that may be the answer to the question you ask yourself after you have accepted your name, the question of ‘how do I know when I am me?’. You will just know it, like you know it when you see it or hear it. Like beauty or being in tune. Beauty in nature. Beauty in life. Beauty is universal. They say that ‘beauty is in the eye of the beholder’. So be it. Immerse yourself in yourself. Immerse yourself in you. Immerse yourself in nature. Immerse yourself in life. You have to trust you and above all else, believe that there is a name or tune for you.

Maybe, name-changing is not your thing. That’s ok. Knowing you. Knowing the real you and appreciating your own uniqueness, your own beauty brings you closer to being more aware of being you. Perhaps, you don’t need an extreme measure like changing your name to re-create yourself, to have a new-beginning, a new start.

For the New Year, maybe you just need to set some new goals, not many, just a handful, based on the priorities you have at this particular point in your life. Then, break these goals down to sub-goals or ‘bite-sized pieces’ which have specific focus areas. Set some key habits that will help you achieve these sub-goals, done on a daily basis and maybe monitoring them regularly, like weekly, monthly etc. You can refer to my earlier blog on this: “the Power of Habitual Self-Regulatory Behavior”.

This of course, is just a suggestion. A suggestion that you don’t have to go to an extreme thing like changing your name, if that is a marker, a drawing of a line in the sand, of a ‘new you’. I think, to some extent, as long as you are living your life, with beauty and balance in mind, you are never in danger of leaving this planet, with people thinking or rather, having a perception of you, that you had lived a life that was less than real. That you were a pretender.

That you were a fake?!

Appreciate the beauty in nature. Appreciate all that you have and can experience. Appreciate the beauty in you.

Find your tune. Find beauty. Find your balance. Find you.

All the best for 2014.

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The Power of Habitual Self-regulatory behaviour.

I love Pirates … I love skulls.
Why the skull? Well, it holds and protects the most important organ we have –
Our brain. The organ that allows us to think and do and feel whatever it is that we desire.
Thank God for skulls.

Good, Winning Habits

One of the goals in life, as I see it, is to develop a lifestyle that is appealing and inspiring to you and simultaneously setting a healthy guideline and example for those who look to you for guidance and encouragement in their own lives. If you don’t see this as a goal in your life, that is totally fine. It is your life, after all.

I think, the most important thing is to believe in yourself, but more importantly believe in the person you imagine yourself to be. On a daily basis, as sure as you brush your teeth the first thing in the morning, you need to develop a habit of simulating how you imagine your life to be … of projecting that image of yourself that you would most like to become and living and breathing that ‘person’.

That is key.

All habits are learned. That means that just as you work on developing good habits, you can also, unintentionally, develop bad habits. Losing habits. Losing habits like self-criticism, smoking, excessive drinking, overeating, laziness, anxiety, depression, sloppiness, dishonesty, cruelty and insensitivity, amongst many others are all developed in to a part of a person’s character through deliberate and relentless practise. So are positive good, winning habits – learned and retained through the same deliberate practise!

It’s a choice. So, choose well.

Lets make a concerted effort to deliberately practise the latter habits – good, winning habits.

To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.
– Ralph Waldo Emerson.
Building a World Class Natural Physique takes patience and deliberate practise of key daily habits.

Life ain’ts a dress rehearsal

Life is like a big stage or theater and we play many roles. We do our very best to learn these different roles and play them to the best of our ability. We soon find out that the better we play life, the better life gets for us. Part of this comes from understanding and becoming aware of you, of yourself. When you get better at playing the various roles you’ve been asked to play in life, life gets better for you.

When you work on improving your self-awareness, you begin fantasizing or dreaming your own new ‘scripts’ or better roles, as if your life were a magnificent, epic motion picture opening on all the big screens around the world. Breaking ‘box-office’ records, as you walk down your red carpet.

Play it well, my friend, play it well. Your dreams … your thoughts … your scripts … your epic movie has been written, produced, directed and starred in by no one else but YOU!

There is only one catch: life ain’t a dress rehearsal!

Each second of the 86,400 seconds in each day allows you to get to know YOU, better. Do so. Start by becoming more self-aware. Sometimes, in life, to move ahead, one needs to take a step backwards … so, try stepping back from your own life … and take a long, quiet walk … along pathways in a mountain …or in a quiet park … on the beach.

Absorb the beauty of nature and all its wonders, through all your senses. Bask in its beauty. Become one with it. Then, make an honest assessment of what you are doing, where you are going in your life and most importantly, who you are becoming.

Helping someone achieve his best, in one of the best ways I know how: through increasing self-awareness.
Vv.

Love Life and it will love your back

Then, stop!

Stop to appreciate and be in awe of your own uniqueness, of your strengths and beauty. Sit still or stand still. For a second. For a minute. For 10 minutes. Become aware of the one truth that you and many, may have not have stopped to fathom to date and that is that – you have been selling yourself short in evaluating your own potential in the whole stage rehearsal of life.

Do me a favour. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Stop whinging. Look around you. There’s enough whingers in the world today, already. Stop it. Please. Stop pitying yourself! If you’re breathing right now, than it means that you’re alive.

You see, when I take my first breath in the morning, I say thank you to my God, my universe and I jump our of bed, asking myself, who am I going to help and serve today! Yep, I do that every single day. Giving thanks constantly for all my blessings … on a daily basis.

If you’re alive than nothing else, in my opinion, tops that. You’re alive! If you feel like whinging, don’t! If that is the case, then, you’re enjoying some degree of health and vitality. Just for a second or two, put yourself in to the shoes of the many millions of people around the world that are suffering. Every single second. You cannot and should not complain about life, then!

Love life and it will love you back.

Be YOU.
As YOU are.
Accept the uniqueness … and weirdness that you know you are.
Embrace YOU.
Never imitate.

Keep dreaming

I tell anyone that wants to listen that the mind is the most powerful tool that we all have. You become what you habitually think all day. You effectively create to a certain degree, your own horoscope. Your own luck. You are constantly becoming what you are thinking about every waking moment – so it is very important to focus and put your concentration on things and habits that will add to your life. To your feeling of self-worth.

You need to be clear on your desires or dreams and FOCUS on these and not on fears.

So, watch your thoughts. Keep dreaming.

Hold your dreams steadfastly in your mind and focus on them. Let go your fears. Let go ALL fears. Fears do nothing but cause unnecessary stress in your life and this may cause anxiety, depression, ulcers and all sorts of diseases. Stresses, uncontrolled and mis-managed manifests itself in the physical, in the form of diseases, and part of this management comes down to self-awareness as you should also know what your stress tolerance levels are, too.

Its important to keep dreaming. Why? Because they are effectively goals. What are goals? Dreams with a deadline. Set your goals. Set your game plan. Set your game plan or course in the sea of life. Set it with worthwhile goals that are progressive and realistic. Notice, I have said progressive or incremental and realistic. It is very easy when setting goals to not address this two very important factors. Without satisfying these two factors, ones dreams is merely wishful thinking or worse still, delusional thinking.

Very common in the world today. You see it live and well on social media, tv reality programs and just daily living. People struggling to differentiate between positive goal setting and thinking and delusional thinking.

Those who dream … to be different … and aim to share their unique selves with the world, to help … get the love back in return.

Setting goals

I find it easier to put my goals down on paper.

I do it around this time of the year for the next year. Work this in to your New Year’s Resolutions if you’re setting some for 2014. You don’t need to tell anyone. Just you. For you. Try it. Put in down on paper and write down specific daily tasks and weekly and monthly that are aligned to your mean and end goals.

Your subconscious mind and the universe will conspire to help your achieve your goals. Just try it (setting goals, that is) and see. However, this needs discipline but if your heart is in it, if your heart is anything, you will find that you will almost likely achieve the dream or goal.

Real discipline as I see it is being able to imagine you have already achieved the goal even if you haven’t yet. Discipline in the physical daily habits is one thing. Discipline in simulating in your mind the achievement of it is another. This is not easy. Matter of fact this is darn right difficult. It takes a lot of practise. Your brain has to be re-wired or hard-wired and this is done by deliberate practise. It is worth achieving though. It deserves practise.

“Why? ” I hear you ask –

Allow your mind to ”connect’ with infinite intelligence.
With consciousness.
It is like nothing you’ve ever experienced before.
The subconscious mind is part of the ‘mind’
Question is: what does the conscious mind do that the subconscious mind doesn’t

Instant gratification

Because, I believe one of the biggest problems facing human-kind today is ill-discipline of the mind.

You can see it everywhere in everyone’s insatiable desire for instant gratification. No one believes in delayed gratification anymore. No one believes in the old fashioned value of ‘patience’ anymore. Its great for business and commerce, as youngsters want the latest gadgets – NOW, not tomorrow or next month. Now!

Lack of discipline. Lack of mental discipline. This is why discipline is necessary. Because discipline, as I have read somewhere in the past, is the ability to ‘practise within, when you are without’. We can summarize this very important philosophy on the achievement of goals in life like this:

Visualization + heart + effort + internalization = Realization.

As I close on this blog, keep in mind, amongst your many other archived thoughts, that you, yes, you are no more than the accumulated picture of your thoughts and actions.

I. AM.
GOD?

So, if you haven’t already thought about this yet, I learned from a wise man once that we –

“have to be very careful of our thoughts, as this determines our actions; be careful of your actions as it determines your habits; be careful of the habits you adopt, as it determines your character; and finally, be aware of your character as it determines your destiny.”

If you want to be loved, be loveable

So, you see, where you end up in life begins and ends in your mind. Become a better manager of your mind, my friend. Become an expert at managing your mind. What you achieve out of life and where you end up in life, depends heavily on it.

It does not matter which race you are, what creed or place in society you were born in to, understand one basic and critically important life rule:

“If you want to be loved, be loveable. If you want respect, set a respectable example!”

My early days in the catholic church taught me that one should treat others as you want to be treated. I’m certain other religions teach a similar thing. Matter of fact, I think, even if you didn’t belong to any religion, you would innately, think the same. I try and apply this every day. Great and simple teaching I think. Try it. See what happens.

Love life and life may just love you back, better.

I hope you believe in hope. It is a great word that encompasses many good things. Things like faith, courage, good, love etc. Its all encompassing. Just like the universe is. Anyway, I would like to wish all you readers the best that HOPE has to offer you, Each and every one of you, in 2014. Your hope for a better you. Your hope for a better future. Your hope for a better life. Whatever it is. Your hope is dependent on you. On your thoughts. On you mind.

Your Homework: Quiet your mind.

Until next time.

 

Cheers & Ahoy!

The old Cap’n Viking Pirate Evangelist Muscled Monk … & habits

Life is like a Merry-go-round … we’re all turning round and round … within seat-belts, and boundaries

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The Pendulum of Life

We’re all swinging like a pendulum .. continuously moving between two points – activity & non-activity/ entertainment/rest

How does “How are you equal Busy?”

“How are you?” someone would ask you during the day.

“Busy” you may find yourself replying.

Busy.

We’re all guilty of that, being ‘busy’, I mean. How busy is that? How busy is busy?

I guess it would seem, that it is better to be busy than not busy. It depends. This isn’t a blog about how busy you are in comparison to everyone else. It isn’t a blog about not being busy. It is, however, about the two things we seem to swing back and forth every day of our life.

These two things are like two points on a line or two points on a pendulum in a clock. I introduced this thought in my most recent blog “Unthink, to think”. Specifically, the two points on a pendulum of life that we swing back and forth on are:

1) Activity

2) Recreation

We swing back and forth between these every day. Tick, tock, tick, tock. Goes the clock. Your clock!

Keep your pendulum swinging … because to be stuck at one end is not life-affirming

The ebb and flow of the tide

I’d also like to think of this pendulum our lives being as similar to the tide of the open sea moving out and then back, in. The ebb and flow of the tide. Repeating and never stopping.

What would happen if the tide stopped? Well, I would think that there may be a serious problem with the earth’s gravitational force, for one, and our time, our life on this lovely earth would be, up. Hmmmmm …. Not a very good ending.

The same would happen if your pendulum got stuck at one end or the other.

What is it that keeps the clock going? Well, it’s the pendulum of course. Just like the gravitational forces that keep the tides of the seas moving, so does the pendulum keep the clock ticking.

We’ve got to be aware of the forces in our lives and it’s impact on our energy and ability to keep our pendulum swinging.

We all need our Re-charge point

So, back to us. To our lives.

You see, if we represent the pendulum, we have to be aware of  how much time we are spending at each end of our clock and not lose ourselves in the busyness of life. We need to keep swinging, ever so skilfully between the two ends – of activity and recreation.

Activity in this context is anything that we do that is not recreation. The most common being paid work, house work and work-related activities – travel, research, meetings etc.

The essential component of recreation, is recreate, which means to refresh by means of relaxation and enjoyment,  and as to restore physically or mentally. Is there a place or activity that you do, that ‘re-creates’ or ‘re-energizes’ or ‘re-charges’ YOU?

One of my re-charge points is my hour of weight-training I do 5-6 days per week. Apart from the myriad of benefits exercising with weights and living a bodybuilding lifestyle does for the body, mind and spirit, I feel a sense of improved vitality and an extra spring in my step, after each workout. At its very essence, life comes down to energy management – everything is energy. Just like our many electronic gadgets need re-charging every day, so do we.

We all need a re-charge point!

Orderly chaos. We need to be better managers if the fusion of chaos & order

Keep swinging…

I also see these benefits with everyone I train at my gym. They may commence their session with low energies, feeling tired or depressed, and they leave feeling 100% better with new determination to take on whatever life has to throw at them. I see this every day. Every day. Don’t leave it to your yearly vacation. You should be doing this every day. Yep, every day. Once a year is not near enough.

It is better to work on managing your energies, instead of your time. We have an energy crisis in the world today. Start by becoming a better manager of your energies and you can avoid your pendulum stopping or getting stuck at one end, before its too late.

Ask yourself, where your ‘re-charge’ point is? Where do you ‘re-create’ yourself? Where do you go to escape the hustle and bustle of life? Where do you go to escape? It could be in the car home from work listening to some soft tunes. For some, it could be the golf-course, or for some, ironically, could be the commuter trains and buses from work. For others still, it could be the garden, the pub or your church.

If you don’t have one, don’t fret, try reaching out, maybe you can use just absorb the beauty of the morning, the quiet of the evening, the touch of friends or the smile from strangers, or may be, just the strength of silence to stop. Yes, that’s right – stop!

Take it all in, including a deep breath, fill your lungs up and then keep pushing on.

Wherever it is, whatever it may be, hang on to it. Hang on to that re-charge point. It is vital to you maintaining your sense of vitality.

It is vital to maintaining that delicate balance between activity and re-creation. It is vital to keeping your pendulum of life swinging.

Keep swinging, I say, keep swinging. Back and forth, back and forth. Don’t stop. Tick, tock, tick, tock!

The alternative: six feet under before your time, is not that attractive.

Thanks

yours in iron, mind, heart 💓 & muscles 💪,

Paul e 💝alentine

Keep your pendulum ticking. It relates to the ticking of your heart 💓. Your life.  

Become better at “being comfortable at being uncomfortable “ to keep your pendulum ticking … & your life, living

 

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Unthink, to think

Eliminate and de-clutter the ‘noise’ that has been uploaded in to your brain since the cradle

 

What are you?

You are many things: you’re human; you’re a girl/boy? You’re male/female. You’re a dad/mum. But who are you. What makes you? Who are you?

Nope, I am not asking you – ‘what are you?‘ or what you do for a job …  you’re not an accountant, not a plumber, not a lawyer. I’m not asking what you do, I’m asking what makes you the real “YOU”.

Hhmmmmmm …?

Feel your emotions.
Think through and with your heart.
Listen to your íntuition

 

Tick, tock, tick, tock!

You could say that you are the accumulated thoughts and choices you have made in your life, thus far. Your are your connectome. You become what you habitually think and do. Maybe, you are like a pendulum; the accumulation of the daily swing between activities and recreation.

Tick, tock, tick, tock.

Responsible for transmission of critical electrical, chemical & hormonal messages -internal communication

 

The Power of Habit

To assist you in attempting to arrive at your answer to this question, I believe, one needs to un-think to think. How do you unthink? You may need to unlearn what you have learned. You may need to un-school what has been schooled. Maybe just for a few seconds or if you’re brave enough for a few minutes or a few hours.

How do you do that?

Well, like many things you have become an ‘expert’ in, you may need to rack up the necessary hours to become even remotely good at this. One of the keys is to ‘quiet the mind’.  Just like all habits, the POWER rests in the consistent and persistence application of the particular habit. That is the POWER OF HABIT! As a little aside: choose your thoughts and hence, your habits, well.

Try this Unthinking routine 5 minutes before hitting the sack at night:

  1. Lie still in bed
  2. Try to eliminate all unnecessary noise – audible noise.
  3. Clear your mind of all thoughts. Try. Try again.
  4. Quiet the mind: you do this by eliminating ALL THOUGHTS. Try. … Try again.
  5. This isn’t easy. Matter of fact, it is darn hard.
  6. Don’t stress if you cannot quite your mind. Turn the light off and go to sleep.
  7. Try again tomorrow.

To unthink, one needs to get in to a state whereby one ‘quiets or slows the mind’. The essence is to accept that;

    • all thought needs to be eliminated
    • be fully aware of your presence
    • all senses are heightened
    • you are in the present moment – no other place but here – now.

Your are your brain neuro-pathways

 

Becoming a thinker

You will truly be in the present moment if you are able to ‘feel’ someone reach out to touch you whilst having your eyes are closed. That is your test. You are able to see what you’re not physically seeing with your eyes, that’s when you know you have quietened the mind. Then, and only then, can you start to learn to UN-THINK. Just like muscle, you cannot build this over-night but will take many years of concerted deliberate effort.

That is the start of becoming a thinker. Try it.

Seemingly easy, you will find it is a most difficult thing to do: TO THINK!

True?
Neuroscience is still at the level of where medicine was in the 1700s
A long way to fully understand who we are….
Who “I AM.”

 

To Un-Think helps you be the best you can be

Keep trying.

Why?

Because it is one of the most important things you can do for your  life. After receiving the clarity when you un-think, you will think for yourself rather than continue to carry biased, unfounded, prejudiced thinking around with you. The old thoughts may have come from people or experiences that have crossed your path in life thus far, of which that may have influenced your current choices. Pause.

Think.

Think again.

Not thinking may hinder your ability to achieve your goals. To un-think helps you to be the Best you can Be.

Stopping to reflect, is a vital key to adjust your attitude if you need to.

 

Don’t give up

Keep practising. Don’t give up, even when you don’t feel like you’re making any progress.

Learn to do it right.

It’s worthwhile getting a competent mentor. Learn from someone who knows, not from someone who doesn’t. No one can teach you something they do not know.

I have a neighbour and friend who started playing golf as a teenager and he regrets not taking lessons from a professional at the start. He spent 20 years playing less than his best and was constantly frustrated. More recently he had lessons from a competent professional. It took a lot of time to unlearn the bad habits he had learned, he had to re-think everything, re-learn the basics.

He had to un-think what he had previously learned, and learn a better technique. He is now enjoying his golf and has dropped his handicap considerably. He had experience – yes, 20 years of getting his golf wrong, because of whatever reasons that held him back from asking for help from someone who knew the right way.

There is always a ‘right way’. Find it.

Never give up.
I took me 10 years to reach the top of my chosen sport in the world.
Never give up

 

Perfect practise makes perfect

Practice does not make perfect.

A great coach once said that “Perfect practice makes perfect”.

Like I tell my daughter, if you’re going to do something do it right, not some of the time – ALL OF THE TIME. Perfect practise makes perfect. There are many people who practice ‘wrong’ for many years and don’t improve or achieve their goals.

Practise thinking winning thoughts.

 

Think BIG!

We are all, ordinarily – human, most of us, love being so. I know I do. This new habit of unthinking just might make your ordinariness seem extraordinary and might reveal the champion that is inside the REAL YOU.

Bring the Real You – out!

If you are scared, don’t be. There is nothing to fear. Take as much time as you need; it’s your life, your pace. Life is too short to keep hidden from the eyes of the world. And I am not just thinking of ‘your little world’, not just your circle of friends and family. Not just your street, suburb and community.

If you’re going to do this and take the risk to think for yourself you may as well, do it with a vital element in mind and that is to: THINK BIG!

As the great Leader, Nelson Mandela said –

“Being and thinking small serves no one … you must think big”

The whole world is waiting for the Real You. Unleash him/her! Who knows what your actions may have over another fellow human being in the world. There is more that the Real You can offer your World. Get up and give.

Get up and share the Real You. The World is waiting.

Thank you for reading this far.

Until next time,

 

Cheers & ahoy!

The old Cap’n Viking Pirate … & a re-think of thinking

(Paul)

Front double biceps at my favourite beach here in Sydney, Australia.
Enjoying the sun and the creator that it is.
Be not like the moon, be like the sun.
Take time out of ‘work’ to enjoy your surroundings.
Vv.

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What can you “see” that lies behind your eyes when you look in the mirror?

Are you your brain or are you your mind?

The two greatest mysteries of nature

What do yousee’ when you look at that person looking back at you when you look in the mirror? When you pick up the comb or brush to set your hair the way you want (lucky you if you have that … because I don’t have much hair to comb, like so many other balding middle-aged men out there in the world).

Specifically, what and who lies behind those eyes that look back at you in the mirror.

Now, this is not a very easy question to answer for many reasons. Why is this question so difficult? Well, because it is one of the two greatest mysteries of nature. And what is that? Well, it is simply –

The MIND.

The other great mystery is – the Universe.

Now, as I see it …. to witness the mystery of our mind, all we have to do is stare at ourselves in the mirror and wonder, What lurks behind our eyes? But, this raises even more questions like: Do we have a soul? What happens to use after we die? Who am “I” anyway?

I believe the universe and the mind intersect in a variety of ways but I won’t go in that here. Suffice to say, there is a connection … between the mind and the universe or consciousness.

True?
Neuroscience is still at the level of where medicine was in the 1700s
A long way to fully understand who we are….
Who “I AM.”

Triple A

In our journey through life, I would like to think each and every one of us are striving, at our own individual pace, to become the best person we can be … the best person we want to be … the best person we know we imagine ourselves to be, in all areas:

  • the very definition of Personal Development.

And if you’re not trying to be better than you were yesterday in whatever form and whichever area of life and you choose to do so, then, I have three words for you: you’re a fool!

Read no further.

But, if you desire to help you, then all I believe we all need is: an open, determined and curious mind. 

Now there are many approaches to personal development but the one I aspire to, as detailed on the face of this blog page, is quite simple. A system I developed summarising this process: my Triple A (AAA) approach to any form of personal development is:

  • Awareness
  • Action
  • Adaptation

Responsible for transmission of critical electrical, chemical & hormonal messages -internal communication

The first A: Awareness

Today I will elaborate on the first of the three A’s: AWARENESS.

What does it mean to be Aware or rather Self-Aware?

Now, we’ve got to be careful here, as there are always two sides to a coin, there is Negative Self-Awareness and there is Positive Self-Awareness, lets focus on the latter.

Positive Self-Awareness is the first and most important step in self-development. It is that “aha” moment one experiences in understanding the potential and abundance we have, and perhaps how little we have done to challenge our minds thus far.

And just how little we know.

Here’s a thought to give you an idea of what it means to be self-Aware: Can you look in the mirror and “see” what you don’t see? Can you look in the mirror and see what lies behind your own eyes? Have you? Is how you think, feel and act consistent? Keep looking in the mirror until you see the real “you”.

Me, some of my quirks (showing off my muscles, posing at every and any opportunity and my desire to ‘over’ dress than to ‘under’ dress. Also, my quirk of love for dogs (and in particular, my pirate dog _ MR Fuzzy/Fussy Cuddles!) and animals in general. I know who “I am”. Do you?

Being Open-minded

I believe, fundamentally, being Positively Self-Aware means being open-minded. Are you open-minded? Or, do you look at life through your parents glasses? Are your prejudices inherited or are they your own?

Or, are you hardened, cold and closed to new ideas and new opportunities and change? This hardness can come in various forms: vulgarity and rudeness, intellectual cynicism, prejudice, stubbornness, lack of empathy etc. Ask yourself this the next time you look at yourself in the mirror, if you’re brave enough.

The Brain 🧠.
The mind.
I AM.
Use this most complex tool every created to become a better medium of communication to …. the universe, to infinite intelligence … to consciousness.
To your GOD.

To Not become narrow-minded

Strive to not become a narrow-minded human being.

Being open and able to see the many alternatives in every situation is being Positively self-Aware. Try looking at “relative” rather than “absolute” facts in a situation.

I’ve always asked my kids when they tell me something from School, like “Dad, this was my best day ever!” I would tell them that that was great but “compared to what?. Everything is relative.

Being self-Aware is accepting that skin colour, birthplace, religious beliefs, sex, financial status, and intelligence are not measures of worth. It is realizing that each human being on earth is a person with equal rights to fulfill his or her own potential in life.

Allow your mind to ”connect’ with infinite intelligence.
With consciousness.
It is like nothing you’ve ever experienced before.

We’re not on the same wavelength

Each of us are unique, unique in our fingerprints, unique in our footprints, unique even in our lip-prints. We also speak and think on different frequencies. Haven’t we all found ourselves saying “we’re not on the same wave length or page!”

We don’t have to look very far for examples of this, just give the nightly TV news 5 minutes and you will see the result of people on different frequencies illustrated in many ways …. discord in family, social and international life. Everyone is looking through a different set of lens. Looking at different mirrors.

Empathy

What it means to be positively self-Aware is to have empathy.

How is your ability to be empathetic? Ask yourself “how would I like to have a husband like me if I were my wife?” or “how would I like to have a father like me if I were my children?” or “how would I like to have a manager like me if I were my employees?”

Like what the great modern-day thinker, Mr Seth Godin says … work on your ‘emotional labour’ to help others, help themselves. Become more in touch with elements of trust, care and compassion.

Or as I would like to say – “become more human”.

Love your ‘feminine side’ … appreciate beauty in all it’s forms … like cars, watches, beautiful architecture … beautiful women.
Embrace the “Real Man” in YOU … men!

Know your limits

Being self-Aware, we must all strive to find our own healthy stress level in life and to operate within that range or level. A domestic cat would not be able to handle the stress levels that which a tiger would be able to handle out it’s environment.

Know yourself. Know your limits. The truth is some never do.

Being self-Aware also understands that the person who does not read is no better than the person who cannot read – and, that a person who does not continue to learn, to adapt and grow, is not better than one who cannot grow.

We’re all truly unique individuals with unique strengths and weaknesses. Understand your uniqueness and appreciate the differences in others. It is a beautiful world indeed.

De-clutter your brain of all that noise built up from early childhood clouding your thoughts.
Delete and stop contributing to the bottom-line of ‘bullshit’
Work on managing your funnel better.
Know your limits.
Seek help before it is too late.
As a great book says –
“Seek and ye shall find;
Ask and ye shall receive”
Now do.

Like a dog chasing it’s tail

So, I leave you with these thoughts:

  • by knowing who you are, where you’re at and where you’re going allows you to see the possibilities and alternatives available in your life. If you leave things up to chance you may miss opportunities as you muddle around in circles, like a dog chasing its tail.

Alternatives only exist if you know which way you are going.

Change your philosophy on life. Change your environment. Change your life.

A change of philosophy follows a better Awareness of self.

The altar of worship.
Some find their beauty, their truth in Religion of choice.
Their search for beauty is being ONE with the ONE.
Keep searching for your beauty. Your truth.
No one else can take your journey for you, but you.
Be brave. Slay your Goliath.Make believe and imagination is key to improved self-awareness

Here’s one idea to increase your sense of self-Awareness you may want to try: Try imagining being someone else that you know for a day: your wife; your husband; your parents, your children, your workmate.

Make believe and imagination is key to improved self-awareness. Try seeing life through their eyes and how you imagine them to ‘see’ you. What would each of them be thinking about you. Why?

I’ll leave you with a little prayer that I’ve got my lovely daughter to say every night as I tuck her in to bed. She says “Lord, help me be the best I can be…. for me, … and for everyone else”. and I also get my kids to say … Ïf I can dream it … and believe it … I can achieve it!”

The key phrase is: ” and I believe it” . Belief is everything. Without it, you achieve nothing. I’ve always believed – “No belief, no nothing!” . Do you think I got to 2 x World Championships without unwavering belief in me, my God and my team … to win? All the way to the Top?

No, I didn’t think so.

So, dream …and imagine … and believe. With your whole heart and soul. Believe it so.

Believe or not believe.
Get your ass off the pole of the fence (stop sitting on the fence!)
Choose.

The best you can be. For YOU. First.

Understand that person who is behind those eyes when you look in the mirror.

Strive to become more self-Aware, more positively self-aware. Your destiny in life hinges on it.

All the very best!

 

Cheers & Ahoy!

The old Cap’n Viking Pirate … & thoughts on ‘seeing’ beyond what you look at, when you look in the mirror.

Achieving a well-balanced physique should be understood for what it is: a masterful fusion of art and science.
One should improve once’s “BODY Smart”knowledge. this takes time and deliberate practise.
Top 5 in the world, two years in a row at a sport I love ain’t too shaby for an city boy from the beautiful paradise islands of Fiji
If YOU think you can and you BELIEVE YOU CAN … YOU CAN.

Beauty comes in the human form.
It is a living masterpiece.
On display, from a masterful poser/artist, the human body exemplifies beauty and truth rolled in to vibrating ball of flow of muscle.
The hard part is to CREATE beauty. We all have the ability within us.
To create a beauty through the human form is genius.
Providing the scaffolding for your childs(ren) character building towards a ‘beautiful character’ is like sculpturing a great physique.
Everything matters, however, small it is.
GIGO for their minds:
If you want to create champions and leaders , feed them daily champion & leadership thoughts.

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The End. In Foresight.

Like an FM station, just one point off gives you an irritating “shhhh…”

Ever wondered what the mongoose or squirrel was thinking as it crossed the highway and got hit by a car, its body laying splattered there on the road?

No?

Me neither.

However, it got me thinking about something. About Life.

The roadkill’s life had come to an abrupt end. Its purpose in life was over. It probably wasn’t thinking of the risk of crossing a busy road, with other fast, big, road users.

You see, we’ve all been given 4 key inter-related things/gifts in life:

  1.  Our Mind – to allow us to think and make choices based on our assessment of RISK
  2. Our Body – to execute the wishes of the mind based on our choices
  3. Our Spirit – to help you “see” what the mirror does not reflect
  4. Our Life – determined by how we utilize the other gifts (1,2 and 3).

They say, goals are very important to your success in any area in life.

Goals: Set them. Plan your work. Work your plan.

Probability of realizing the goals are improved. Its true. It works, if you follow it through. There is a difference though, between wishful thinking and goal-setting.

In addition, however, I say: have the End in Mind. Develop your FORE-SIGHT. Improved Foresight enhances INSIGHT.

I leave you with a little formula that might shed a little light in to finding your Purpose in Life:

FOCUS + FORESIGHT = INSIGHT.

No End. No Purpose. No Life.

See YOUR END (Foresight).

Find YOUR PURPOSE (Insight).

Live YOUR LIFE (Focus).

You only have one life. Its no dress rehearsal. Don’t live it like that road-kill. Find your purpose, before its too late…. Before your daily 86,400 seconds stop ticking.

Tick, tock, tick, tock. Its your life. Write your story the best way you can: with purpose.

Become increasingly aware … take actions (sufficient & appropriate) and adapt accordingly.
My Triple A to self – development.

Find YOU.
Find clarity.
Find Life.

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A special kind of blindness.

To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.
– Ralph Waldo Emerson.

I was once the proud owner and manager of a gym for about 7 years. It was the first gym I ever stepped foot in when I was in my late teens. I used to stand at the doorway as I left the gym, turn around to look at the owner (then) and say –

“One day I’m going to own this gym or something like this Tony!”

Imagine that, a young teenage boy still completing High School audaciously believing and saying out loud that he would own “this’ gym or something like it … one day? But I knew that I loved it and I didn’t know how then, but I knew that I desired it strongly. I had many dreams … this was one of the many. It lay dormant for a number of years.

He would say – ‘yep, but not this one … I’m not ready yet.”

Fifteen years later, I receive a call from him … saying “Remember me … remember what you said when you still in High School … well, I’m ready now, would you like to buy this gym?”

I said .. .”What took you so long?”

The rest is history.

I ran it like a family. A gym like no other. My little young family was intricately connected with hundreds of other families, making it one large huge extended family in this phase of our lives. I loved all the hundreds of relationships I had with the members along with the wider community. We won the Best Small Business Award for the Northern Beaches in one year and was a Finalist for many years.

I knew instantly that I wasn’t in the business of running gyms … no, I was in the business of managing relationships and I just happened to sell health, vitality and life-enhancing products and services. People would say “what?!” including my wife who would, after a few months, realise the truth in my statement.

Friends that workout together … stay together?
Some of the family of gym members that called my gym ….. our gym .. their gym.
Lovely people in a lovely phase of life.

Stories … ahh … this is one of the things I miss – listening to the hundreds of individuals’ stories over the years. Was fascinating and I feel very blessed that I was able to listen to and help the members write chapters of their life stories. I also feel very blessed to experience life through other peoples’ experiences.

Our gym was a place of social interaction where everyone knew one another’s names and we were always happy they came to the gym. Our gym was a ‘home away from home‘ for all the family of members. Just the way I envisioned it to be, the way gyms used to be.

I loved it. I lived and breathed it. I never took leave for 7 years because I loved what I did in serving the community the gym was in and all that came from afar (some driving past up to 15 gyms before they got to my gym). I helped serve people increased awareness, through increasing their knowledge of possibilities that would take them from where they were to where they would want to be. Using programs tailored specifically for each individual that was based on the framework that took me to 2 x World Championships and place in the Top 5 of both.

This blog is about one particular member. Her name was Margaret. She was an amazing woman.

The Family of Male Friends that bonded and developed great friendships in my gym … our gym.

She had been frequenting the gym 3 times per week for about 8 years. Rain, hail, dust storm, heat-wave. You name it. No extreme weather pattern stopped her from walking the 2km walk from her home to the gym. And Back. She does so with so much enthusiasm. I don’t think I have ever heard her whinge in the time I knew her.

Ever.

What’s special about her is that she is accompanied by her friend – Desarae. You see wherever Margaret goes, her friend is by her side. Her friend knew each corner of the gym now and each machine. Her friend never utters a word but observes her very intently. Her friend watches and observes Margaret’s every move and never lets her out of her sight. Her friend even knows the order in which Margaret has to move from one machine to the other when she is executing one of her daily ‘work-outs’ specially tailored to her goals and needs.

Her friend listens to everything Margaret says but also most of what she does not say. A possible definition of a very good friend. But Desarae has not lifted one piece of weights equipment. You know why? Well, you see, Margaret’s friend is a guide dog and Margaret is blind.

Now, I know we read and see a lot of things and people that can be classed as “Inspiring” almost every day of our lives. You see and hear many grand, over-the-top stories that people class as inspirational. Well and good.

With Margaret and her guide dog. She was such a lovely human being. Never said never.
I trained her daughter (who was also partially blind) to represent Australia at the Paralympics.
She was one tough school girl with a lot of GRIT. Just like her mum.

However, each individual’s idea of what is or who is “inspiring” could differ and vary quite greatly. It’s all a matter of perspective. What someone may find inspirational may not be to another. If anyone asks me what or who I would consider inspiring, apart from my beautiful wife, Margaret would be another that would readily come to mind.

I’ve mentioned it countless times since I have known Margaret that everyone – men, women and boys and girls – everyone, could ‘take a page out of her book’.

Why?

Well, in a world; where there is a dwindling of personal responsibility and accountability; where reasons are only too readily replaced with excuses; where mediocrity is celebrated; where instant gratification dwarfs delayed satisfaction and patience … We have a no nonsense and unassuming, visually-impaired lady “working” on herself. Without fan-fare. Just going about what is part of her ‘daily-routine’.

She is physically blind, not emotionally or spiritually.

It seems like she has turned this apparent weakness into a strength. I see the strength in this woman every time I see her. Not only when she lifts weights and goes through her workouts but the strength in the way she walks, talks and laughs. In the way she relates to the other members of the gym. It’s in her air of quiet confidence as she goes about her business.

Some of the members that came and enjoyed being part of my big ‘extended family’

Although she is blind in one sense, she seemingly has a special kind of blindness for a lot of the ‘other’ things in life that tends to affect us. Those of us who are fortunate enough to see.

So, I leave you with one thought: try to block out some of the clutter of life and don’t let anything or anyone prevent you from carrying out certain daily habits if they contribute to you being a better person – physically, spiritually, emotionally or intellectually.

When you find reasons to give in, think of Margaret. Work on developing your special kind of blindness. There is a champion in every single one of us, including YOU. Believe it so. Never stop dreaming, dreams do come true and dreamers change the world. Listen to your intuition. The combination of these two important ways of thinking ….  is the beginning of taking the “I-M” out of “IMpossible”

All the very best!

 

Until next time,

Yours in muscles & iron,

 

The Old Captain Viking Pirate Fiji-Island born Muscle Monk

Some of the older female family members showing ‘how it’s done!”
Branka and Karen were two ladies that had very positive outlooks on life and did everything they could to maintain the discipline and privilege of staying strong, healthy and wise.
It was a way of life for them … and all the family of gym members.

Gym Extended Family Members enjoying a day of Lawn Bowls.
We had some great lawn bowls events over the 7 years.

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