adaptation, ageing, awareness, Beliefs, body, courage, Energy, game of life, hope, life, long-term perspective, perspective, time

In THAT better place.

Relaxed me

I lost my biological mother just over four years ago.

I buried her.

It would have been her birthday only two days ago if she was still alive. Made me want to share a little part of that chapter in my life in this blog with you.

Cancer came and took her within four months. It was very aggressive. There wasn’t much more the doctors could have done given the circumstances.

I’m sure if you have lost a loved one, there are times when you miss them and this is one such moment for me. We had an interesting relationship her and I, one much more akin to a brother-sister relationship.

I had never called her ‘mum’ all my life. I called her by her first name. A beautiful name it was – Margaret.

Like most if not all cancer sufferers, she suffered a great deal in the months leading up to her death and all I wanted God to do was to end the suffering she was going through. I spent a bit of time beside her in her last days and asked her quite a few questions about her, about life and about the life she was heading to – in THAT better place.

I asked her if she was afraid of dying and she said ‘no’. She fell back on her spiritual philosophy and believed that all ‘was meant to be’. She was prepared for this life after death where she will be in THAT better place, perhaps with Jesus by her side.

If you’ve ever lost a close loved one, it is a difficult time. It was difficult time for me to say the least but nothing compared to the difficulty she was facing. Her life was coming to an end sooner than she anticipated.

She had a lot of support from extended family who could be with her and the religious denomination she belonged to. They were lovely. God bless them.

You’re never prepared to bury anyone. Anyone, let alone your mother.

The one thing that comforted me was the belief – no, the hope – bright hope for tomorrow – her tomorrow, for her future when she will be sitting beside Jesus in THAT better place. I had the belief that his death and his blood on the cross gave me – gave all of us hope that all things are made new and death is no more, nor grief nor crying. No more suffering and pain.

In my mind, she may have lived a relatively short life on this earth but in my life, she made that one unselfish decision all those years ago to give birth to me. To give me life.

The same for you too – a priceless gift from your mum: life!

I was not at my mum’s side when she died. I was overseas. On the day she died, an aunty of mine who was by her side sent a message to my wife who contacted me to call my mother. She wanted to speak to me.

When my aunty put my mum on the phone, for what seemed like a long while all I could hear was her breathing. Very deep painful breathing. But she could not speak. She was in pain and I could feel her pain through the phone.

She didn’t say anything and yet I felt she said so much. This was the first time in my life that I listened to someone who didn’t say anything and yet seemed to fill my ears up with so much. I couldn’t hold back my tears, they just kept streaming out of my eyes. I was a mess. Fortunately, there was no one in the gym at that moment to witness me balling my eyes out.

There was something very different about this phone call, I could sense there was. I called her ‘mum’ for the first time and I thanked her for giving me life when she chose to have the baby – me, all those years ago. That unselfish decision was the catalyst to allowing me to live the life I live today and to help as many people as I can every day. To save lives.

She never met my son Zachary but I believe she is with him in spirit and she is still alive in them through the genes. She is my childrens’ guardian angel.

In that last phone call I called her ‘mum’ for the first time and told her that I loved her.

I said “mum, I love you. Don’t worry, I will see you again … one day I will join you …. In THAT better place … Just wait a little longer”.

She just wanted to hear my voice one last time and that was the last time I heard hers too.

I was told she died only a few minutes after she put the phone down.

Her spirit is at home with Jesus now.

So, I hope that in her life after death, there is a glorious, endless future for her of which her adventure has only just begun.

I’m sure her happiness and joy has wiped away any recollection of pain and suffering in her time on earth and death.

So, If your mum is still alive, cherish it.

Go right now and give her the biggest hug and kiss and tell her you love her. If she is overseas, make that call NOW – call her up and tell her how much she means to you and that you love her very, very much even if it is in another time zone and you’re waking her up.

Tell her it cannot wait for the morning.

As for me, well I speak to my mum in my daily prayers but I would just like to end this blog by saying …

Mum, I love you.”


Until next time,



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