life, mind-muscle connection, muscles, training

Focus on the muscles you don’t see in the mirror.

A good teacher is hard to find but finding a good student is even harder. Plan the work - to work the plan. Photo: discussing fine points of one of my programs with retired legend of rugby - Phil Waugh.

We do more things in the front of us than we do in the back. It’s easier and comes more naturally.

That is the same for your muscles – it’s easier to focus on the muscles (the ‘mirror muscles’ as I call it) as you train them. Even then, a lot of trainees don’t really feel the essence of the exercise. The great Arnold Schwarzenneger referred to it as the ‘pump’.

“here we go … 1, 2, 3 …. (counting, while looking at himself in the mirror) … 4, 5, 6 (thinking – yes, I can see my biceps in the mirror … yes … 7, 8, … yes, I think I can feel it finally …. 9, 10). Stop!

A typical set performed by a physique trainer (by definition, any person who lifts a weight to improve their strength, appearance, health or fitness is a ‘bodybuilder’).

Most trainees struggle to feel continuous tension of the working muscles and maybe lucky to feel the last 1 or 2 reps in a set. Not good for maximizing muscle in the time you spend in the gym. This comes with increased awareness of proper technique in exercise execution.

Training your mirror muscles (the societal favourites – the chest, biceps, delts and abdominals is important but I believe, not as important as focusing on the muscles that you don’t see in the mirror, the muscles you can’t see.

These would include – your trapezius, rear delts, upper and lower back, glutes, hamstrings and calves. Why do most gym enthusiasts favour the mirror muscles?

Simple answer: it is easier.

Ex-Australian Wallaby Captain - Phil Waugh performing a set of squats.

The thing is focusing on your mirror muscles while training is a helluva lot easier than trying to focus on the muscles you can’t see.

I believe it is very, very important and well worth the effort to connect and experience that ‘mind-muscle connection’ that many of you would have either heard about or felt. This is put in practise in full when focusing on the muscles you cannot see.

There are many benefits of prioritizing the muscles you can’t see. In my over two decades of training and helping hundreds of individuals, three real benefits of focusing on the muscles you don’t see in the mirror are:

It reduces risk of injuries. By the time a person starts weight training, he or she would have spent most of his or her life building and predominantly using the anterior chain muscles (muscles in the front of the body). Bringing up the rear muscles would enhance balance of skeletal mass which would lower risks of injuries.

Accelerates the growth of the mirror muscles. Most men dream of building a bigger, more shapelier pectoral muscles (chest) and bigger arms (biceps) – the popular mirror muscles.

So, the majority would naturally do more sets of exercises to work these muscle groups thinking that more sets will build bigger muscles. Big mistake.

More sets and more weight does not necessarily build a bigger chest or arms, only increases your risk of injury to the most common joint injury: the shoulder (deltoids). The thing is there is a safer approach. If you work and train the muscles you can’t see in the mirror like the triceps and rear delts and the upper and middle back, your ability to do the chest and biceps exercises would increase.

Better balance and symmetry. With better balance and symmetry you don’t run the risk of suffering from postural problems which a majority of the population seem to suffer from, especially the aged.

Better balance and symmetry will give you less aches and pains in the joints and have better mobility and have less chance of seeing physios and chiros for problems cause by muscle imbalance. After all, its body shape, not body weight, that matters. Remember this: most, if not all, joint issues stem from muscle imbalances.

Loading the 'guns' with proper execution. Here Brad is building his 'mind-muscle' connection under my watchful eye.

Are you struggling to or not sure how to focus on the muscles you can’t see in the mirror? Here are three things I think could help you focus on these muscles and get the most benefit from:

Close your eyes. Use your imagination and ‘see’ the world from the muscles point-of-view. Shutting your eyes will help you tune in to your muscles and rid your mind of distractions. I wouldn’t recommend this approach for all the exercises due to the obvious dangers. Don’t use this approach when doing standing exercises like, say, deadlifts ( I like to call them “happy lifts’).

This method is ideal for lat-pulldowns or 1-arm dumbbell rows or leg curls. For the best results, effort alone is not enough. One must also use one’s imagination.

Practise posing. I’ve always said different sports require different habits to be relatively successful at it. For example, a soccer player needs to practise dribbling skills, passing and a rugby player has to be able to pass and kick and tackle. All this is done in the appropriate playing field.

Back double biceps in the gym. Practise posing in the gym is important for enhancing that 'muscle-mind connection'. Vital for growth and progress. Increases your awareness of yourself.

When you’re in the gym, you need to also practise the habit of posing. This is the appropriate ‘playing field’ for a person training with weights. This may seem very ostentatious, but it shouldn’t be as it is a great feedback mechanism that allows you to improving overall balance and symmetry.

Isometric tension of any muscle group through the holding of a particular pose (say ‘front-double biceps’ for example) helps stress or ‘pump more blood’ in to the muscle area. Especially if you do the posing immediately following a set.

Do this: after finishing a set of exercise, strike a pose! Aim to tense and tighten the respective muscle group for up to 8 seconds. Squeeze, squeeze, squeeze!

The power of touch. If you have a training partner, terrific. You can simply ask him or her to lightly place his hand or fingers on the area of the muscle group that you’re working as you exercise. There is a definite neuro-muscular connection. This method can help you assess whether you’re using the muscle fully or you are cheating by using other surrounding muscles. More weight lifted does not necessarily equate to bigger muscles.

To build good, clean, quality muscles, remember to leave your ego at the door.

All the best in your journey towards your BEST.

Eat well. Train well. Rest well. Repeat.

Until next time,

Night before contest in NY, USA. Placing: 4th in the World at the World Natural Bodybuilding Championships.

Seek balance and symmetry in all areas of your life. Spiritual balance is very important. It will align you with life's energy better. It will help you get internal/external balance. Vv.

a better life, action, awareness, children, desire, hope, life, parenthood, taking action

Genes for Jeans.

Me and my children – carriers of my genes. A taste of immortality for me.

My children are learning about life at a very high rate. There’s not one day that passes that I don’t hear them say or try something new. I am constantly surprised and fascinated about the next thing I will hear come out of their mouths. I am also increasingly aware of them ‘growing up’.

They are still to learn a lot of things about life and they will learn as time passes. One of the things they still have to learn are the little rhetorical phrases that Cathy and I say every now and then. One that I tend to use a lot is “its in your genes” or something related to the term “genes’ when we are seated around the table having a meal or just hanging out at home.

Each time I say it, my daughter Olivia would quickly respond (with a questioning look on her face) – “dad, I’m not wearing Jeans!”

Cathy and I would look at each other, doing our best not to break out in laughter. The certainty of her look with regards to her not wearing jeans and mocking my rather dumb statement (based on her facial expression) is priceless.

I have made various versions of that particular statement regarding ‘genes’ and each time Olivia would be the first one to correct me. My wife and I haven’t yet been caught laughing but I’m certain one day soon, we will.

It’s so cute, the ‘black and white’ view children have of the world at this age, which includes their progressive understanding of the English language and all it’s idiosyncrasies. I am looking forward to explaining to her and Zachary what I meant about the word ‘genes’ because at this present time, they only knows the word as ‘jeans’.

I’m looking forward to explaining the many ‘new’ things they will learn about life as they mature, through each phase of life. One of my roles as a parent (and every parent’s role) as I see it is to do my utmost to prepare my children for adulthood. It does not stop there, being a parent continues until the day I die.

Winning the NSW titles - one of my the 3 times I won it. My signature winning pose at that time.

Winning the NSW titles – one of the 3 times I won it.
My signature winning pose at that time.

Over the weekend, my wife and I were getting our children ready for bed and my son, Zachary was being quite disruptive and being difficult. After repeated requests, I blurted out –

“Zachary, pay attention, you’ve got to start pulling up yours socks son, you’re a year older now!”

Just then, I got reminded by Olivia that –

“Dad, Zach is not wearing socks to bed tonight, it’s too hot!”. She had that – “dad, you’re silly” look on her face again.

I expect that I will be seeing that face many more times in to the future, probably will expect to see quite a lot in her teenage years. I am looking forward to hearing her cute reminders to a silly dad.

This is one of the many ‘little daily miracles’ all of us who are lucky to be parents get to experience. Having children is truly a blessing, many times over.

I thank God and my beautiful wife Cathy, that I am able to pass on my genes on to the next generation – my children. I am sure she is appreciative too of the opportunity of passing on her genes to our children.

After all, the overall purpose of life is to procreate. To live on indefinitely or at least one more generation through your off-springs. It is surely an ‘off-set’ of our own mortality.

It gives us mortals – hope. A taste of immortality, even if most of it will be experienced through our imagination. Hope, however, is a beautiful thing and the very essence of it, of the belief summoned for it, allows some people the courage to continue to live.

Appropriate outfit given the Rugby World Cup currently under-way in England, Me and my two Australian Valentines. Go the Wallabies!

Appropriate outfit given the Rugby World Cup currently under-way in England,
Me and my two Australian Valentines.
My 2 favourite teams are Fiji and Australia. As Fiji has not progressed to the quarter finals, Go the Australian Wallabies!

So, live. Love. Laugh. Hope. Live on through genes.

Reflect on YOU, your uniqueness. On your unique genes that has been passed on to you, that makes up who you are. Your blueprint. Ask yourself, have you allowed YOU – to be the BEST YOU CAN BE? Have you worked on your genetic strengths? Have you or are you working towards your potential? For example, would you say you “strongly agree” to the statement –

“At work, I have the opportunity to do what I do best, every day”.

If not, why not?

If you answered ‘strongly disagree’ or ‘disagree’, the costs to you and your life could be staggering. There seems to be an epidemic of disengagement at work of a majority of people simply because they are not working to their strengths and not emotionally engaged on their job.

A lot of unhappy, unmotivated people.

This impacts greatly on the overall quality of your life. So, work towards your strengths – your genes and try to align your job and your goals with your natural talents. It’s never too late. Just ACT and build a strengths-based development plan for a better you. A better life.

The impetus for this, for any worthwhile change in life is DESIRE. You’ve got to desire the BEST YOU to step forward. You’ve got to fuel the desire, the hunger to be the BEST YOU CAN BE, using your God-given talents. The strength in your genes, that has been passed down to you from your ascendents.

Ask yourself – have these strengths, these talents laid dormant for a number of years? Time for a change. A change for your good, for the good of your life and those around you.

Be courageous – take action.

Food for thought.

This is my genes for jeans story.

If you’ve got this far, thank you. I hope you enjoyed the story-telling and found some value in it that you could use in your life. I wish you all the very best in your search for your best, now and in to the future.

Until next time,

Here we are … my beautiful wife and I.
at a dinner party.

A semi-posing shot. Enjoying the sun and day out on my favourite beach here in Sydney , Australia.

A semi-posing shot.
Enjoying the sun and day out at my favourite beach here in Sydney , Australia.

a better life, action, authenticness, awareness, belief systems, change, choices, Energy, genuineness, life, long-term perspective, man, perspective, real man, you

Mr Vulnerable.

My son and I.
One of my responsibilities as a man and dad is to make my son aware that being vulnerable is ok.
Vv.

Real Man

Father’s Day came and went only last weekend.

I had a great day with my wife and my two children. I received two beautifully hand-made cards from each of my children and loads of hugs and kisses. Oh, and some of my favourite chocolates.

It was lovely.

I trust all the dads reading this and dads all around the world had a wonderful time with the people they love the most too.

The special calendar day (just like Mother’s Day) got me thinking about being a man but especially in today’s world. Not all men are fathers and not all men are dads but all men are men. So, I got thinking about being a man.

Yep, let’s attempt to re-evaluate the question, “What is a real man?”

In particular, what it means to be vulnerable and still be a man… what it means to be “Mr Vulnerable” and where, how and why it can be incorporated in to the ‘man’ that YOU are.

Every second of every minute of every hour of every day …. of the rest of our lives allows you, me and every man out there to be vulnerable and it may be one of the most important characteristics that we can adopt (if you haven’t considered adopting it already).

The thing is that most of us would have been raised with a definition of what society (modern-day societies) defines it as. This definition is dare I say, unrealistic and quite a burden for the modern male to wear. So much so that I believe the modern day man is finding it quite difficult to be a man.

Now, we could look in many places for possible definitions of what a real man is and justifiably so. Some men look for these in sports stars, movie stars, politicians and so forth. I believe it is important for the modern male (whether you’re a dad or not) to truly understand what it is to be a man. A real man.

Olivia and Zachary enjoying their time with Ruby.
Being a role model for my children is one of the most important responsibilities I will ever have in my life.
For the rest of my life.
Just like it is for every other dad out there.

A Real Man’s John

I thought that one place many people wouldn’t be brave enough to seek an answer is the bible (unless you’re a Christian). We don’t have to look any further than the disciple – John. John, I believe displayed 6 characteristics of what it means to be a real man. In no particular order they were: sincerity, simplicity, conviction, courage, vision and vulnerability.

There you have it! Six Key traits of a real man.

From my experience with people in predominantly male-dominant gyms over the last 23 years, I have found that one thing that men struggle with is accepting that being vulnerable is ok. It seems that the modern man is told since birth that being vulnerable is a no-no, that it is a sign of weakness. Today’s ‘macho’ man of western society must not show vulnerability, he never admits a mistake.

What a load of you know what! Generation after generation of men still believe in this cr#p. Very unrealistic burden for men to carry partially dictated by societal definition of a modern man.

I recall reading research done in America a little while back that stated that five of the most difficult statements for today’s modern man to make are:

I don’t know
I was wrong
I need help
I’m afraid
I’m sorry

Masculinity

This certainly supports what I have deduced from my observations of the last two decades. It seems that modern day men have a problem with admitting vulnerability. That for some reason, if they do their masculinity is brought in to question.

For you Christians reading this – wasn’t this a test for the disciple John which he passed with flying colours?

I think John’s vulnerability was so great beyond belief in his extreme demonstration of humility when he said in reference to Jesus “He must become greater; I must become less”. You cannot get much better than that with someone being so humble.

A trait that is truly missing in the world today.

So, don’t be afraid to be vulnerable, to be authentic to no one else but you first. It is good for the soul and makes you a real man. A humble man is not afraid to admit it. A humble man is not afraid to admit he is or was wrong.

There is a real man in all men reading this and all the men in the world. However, to reach deep down inside and get him, you need to become more aware of who you are now and take actions (sufficient and appropriate) to change certain habits that may not be aligned with the definitions of a real man I have given.

The important step then is to be flexible enough and ‘man-enough’ to adapt to the ‘man you imagine yourself to be’, ideally a man closer to the kind John was. It’s not easy, matter of fact it is darn hard work but the end result is a thing of beauty. And this is one of the things the world needs more of right now.

This, however, may clash with the current modern day definition of what it means to be a real man.

Me and my two children – Olivia and Zachary. I love them with all my heart.

The Future needs you, Real Men

Be the real man you know you are.

Be inspirational to you first, so that you can be inspirational to the young males that are searching for examples of what it means to be a Real Man. Don’t let them get lost to men of lesser character. So, all you dads out there or men playing a surrogate role, be the role model, be the Real Man that the legions of young boys and future men of our society need to aspire to. The Future needs you, Real Men.

This is not a want.

This is a need that our modern day society needs now more than ever. More Real Men to help provide a template to the youth of tomorrow, especially with so many possible definitions are being filtered in to their young minds. Give them a template, like that which the disciple John gave us to build on and stand the test of time.

If every man reading this and every man in this world took this responsibility seriously, what a beautiful world I can imagine for us all in two or three decades. When young men of today, modelling their characters off you – the modern day Real Man will be leaders of tomorrow.

Me and my young man … the future of Real Men. The future rests with us Real Men of the present. …. to provide a template … to save the Father’s of tomorrow.
Play your part, your role for eternity

It is a great hope of mine.

It’s not too late. Make the change because you know it is the right thing to do and you’re humble enough and courageous enough to do it.

Why?

Because you’re Mr Vulnerable. You’re the man! (and if you’re a woman and you’re reading this, get your man to read it too).

All the best in your journey towards being a Real Man. It lies within every man, so go ahead and bring Mr Vulnerable out and share him with the world.

Because the world needs YOU to.

It’s time ….

Until next time,

Cheers & Ahoy!

With the next generation of Valentine males – Zachary.

a better life, authenticness, awareness, better choices, friends, friendship, genuineness, life

Equal friendship.

Ex-Australian Wallaby Captain – Phil Waugh performing a set of squats.
What goes up must come down.
A possible definition of a squat.
Summarises most things in life. It could also symbolically represent the ups and downs of an equal friendship. Each person understands the boundaries of the relationship just like there are limits to a squatting range of motion.

I believe in friendship – equal friendship.

Who do you consider your ‘friend’ at this point in your life? Your partner, wife, husband? Your high school or university friend? Do you have hundreds of friends or just a few with many acquaintances?

I can honestly say that my best friend at this point in my life is my beautiful wife, a friendship that has lasted fifteen years and counting. There are also many friendships that have been in existence for various lengths of time. You would have the same too. For example, I have friendships that started all the way from kindergarten (over 37 years ago) all the way to a few current friends.

You may have many people in your life you consider friends. In this day and age where the definition of ‘friends’ can mean what we have on facebook, a friend could mean something else to you. Some people pride themselves on the number of friends they have. There are many definitions. Fair enough.

In my fourty years on this earth so far, I have experienced many types of friendships and one thing has stood out: You don’t need to be a friend to everyone. Understanding this will help you ‘manage your funnel better’.

It’s just not possible to spread yourself equally with all your friends or so-called friends. Friendship, genuine friendship takes time and effort. Most of you reading this would agree.

We don’t have to look very far for a decent model. If you are a Christian, let’s remind ourselves of the model say, Jesus, adopted. He preached to, healed and helped thousands of people but he only had twelve disciples. How many of these close disciples did he invite when he was transfigured on the mountain?

Only three! You could say that he had only three genuine friends.

Loading the ‘guns’ with proper execution.
Here Brad is building his ‘mind-muscle’ connection under my watchful eye.

I recall seeing only two very good friends of my grandfather in his last few years of his life. They came around our home a few times a week just to sit and talk and reminisce of the ‘old days’. They were friends for over fifty years. I witnessed the beauty of very close, genuine friendship. It was truly a thing of beauty.

However, it was only after my grandfather passed away that I truly understood what I had observed.

With only 86,400 seconds in a day, you cannot possibly relate to every one of your friends in an equal fashion. Don’t stress if you aren’t. It all depends on the phase of life you’re in and the philosophy you adopt. Because of the finiteness of life, it is wise not to waste your precious friendship time on relationships that won’t be productive.

Don’t mis-understand me now. It is ok to lend a helping hand to a needy person but it is another to develop a friendship. Like I said, friendship takes time and hard work. It doesn’t JUST HAPPEN. In the case of the needy person, you could consider it as social work or community service or spiritual caring.

However, with a genuine friend, you and your friend will share and give equally to each other. You both get fulfilment and nourishment from being in the relationship.

For simplicity let’s break life up in to three categories to refer to relationships:

People whom you nourish and who return little or nothing to you
People who nourish you, but you may return nothing to them
Genuine and equal sharing relationships.

All three categories vital to your existence but I don’t believe the first two of the three types of relationships are friendships. The third type or category is what I refer to as real friendship. You must be strong and aware enough to distinguish between them. Mixing them up could cause problems.

It is important to reflect on your philosophy regarding life and the choices you make with regards to investing in certain relationships. What is needed is discernment and making the all important choice of taking some of these relationships to the level of genuine friendship.

Friendship that lasts because it is built on equality.

Here’s my little formula for friendship: Equal friendship = Genuine friendship.

Your ‘friends’ can have a big influence on where you end up in life. Increase your awareness and seek equality and authenticity.

Choose well.

All the best!

Until next time,

Retired rugby legend: Ex-Australian Wallaby & Waratahs Champion Captain & True Leader – Phil Waugh.
Setting his own standards of excellence in all areas of his life, following my framework.
Champions like Phil help us recognize that he believes in sacrifice and dedication to higher principles – higher standards.
AWaken yours today towards THE BEST YOU CAN BE with one of my programs!

~~Life & wellness COACH~~

a better life, accountability, action, anger, anger management, awareness, balance, Beliefs, breaking points, care empathy, choices, ego, Energy, game of life, hulk, Leader, leadership, life, love, man, manners, patience, real man, relationships, respect, responsibility, risk, self discipline, self improvement, self love, self-respect, taking action, trust, you, your life

When to unleash your “HULK”.

The “Most Muscular” (HULK) pose in the sport of Body-building.
Roaarrr!!!

We all get angry now and then.

That’s something everyone reading this blog and every citizen of the world have in common. I have always been fascinated with the Marvel Universe characters, one of which is the “Hulk”. To a little extent, I like to imagine that every person has a super-hero in them. That we all have some superhero power.

In this blog, I would argue that there is a Hulk in every one of us.

What’s important is not that we all have that Hulk that could awaken at a moment’s notice but that we get better at managing that Hulk – that anger. Knowing when to unleash your Hulk.

You see, in dealing with thousands of people of all ages in all walks of life in more than two decades in the gym environment, one of the observations I have made is that different people use anger to hide different feelings. The interesting thing is that a lot of times a lot of people don’t know the real reason they are angry.

Think about you when you get angry. Do you use anger to cover different emotions at different times?

Having children brings out the best in every parent and I think many, if not all parents reading this would agree. This includes the best of ‘anger’ too. Having children teaches you many things, one of which is patience and your tolerance for it. “Zachary, can you stop kicking the car seat please!” and then a few minutes later … “For the hundredth time, Zachary, stop kicking the car seat please!”.

Your patience is constantly tested by your children as you do your best to control that lever that releases the Hulk or anger. It is a daily constant battle at times.

Two principles of building muscle: 1) Simplicity and 2} Continuity.
Become aware; Apply action: Adapt accordingly.

In this phase of his life, my son’s curiosity encourages him to push limits – push beyond his own physical, mental and emotional limits and also push us – my wife and I, beyond our limits too. An interesting phase in our lives to say the least.

I have learned that, as parents, we MUST be permissive to our children’s feelings while setting limits to their action, when appropriate. One of the problems most, if not, all parents face is: when to use discipline and when to GIVE IN; when to be firm and when to be easy; when to give TOUGH LOVE and when to show CARE AND EMPATHY.

At one point or another, we all find ourselves asking ourselves the question: “Is this the moment to be accepting and empathise so that my child will not be afraid of his feelings?” or “should I put my foot down so he understands that he cannot get away with this?”

What I have found is that there are NO SET RULES TO FOLLOW.

Each situation must be handled separately but this is not as difficult as it sounds.

As an owner of a gym for 7 years, I found myself constantly resolving conflicts – conflicts between members, conflicts between members and their family members, internal conflicts of members and conflicts in general. What I found was that the first response I chose to a situation SET THE TONE for how traumatically an event will be taken. I have also found that this is a very good approach to keep in mind when dealing with children too.

It seems to work with my ability to manage conflicts with my two kids.

When one of my children is hurting, I have found that compounding it by reacting with angry words or action (and letting the HULK out) does not add to the solution. Instead, responding with initial softness and empathy, helps more. I think it allows the child to see that if me or my wife (Dad or mum) aren’t panicking, maybe, just maybe, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

The philosophy you follow heavily influences whether you achieve your goals in life or not.

Where does this ability to be permissive and initiate softness and keep from panicking come from? It comes from WITHIN. The same place the HULK lies dormant. It is a choice. It is a choice that is made by you, the parent, in the good times – the quiet times. That is the best time. The best time to decide on how you respond to a child’s mis-behaviour.

Because if you didn’t decide on such an approach/response or similar, then chaos would prevail and anger or the Hulk will be default system you will react on. There isn’t time to think about ways to prevent a fire, in the MIDDLE OF A FIRE!

If you’re religious, you will believe that GOD works all things unto good.

So, when difficulty first happens, don’t lecture your children, panic or commence scolding. Allowing them to feel the hurt, the anger and initially responding to their behaviour with calm comforting lays an important foundation. A foundation that will allow them to find value in their experience.

Yes, it is much easier to just release the HULK, but it takes a lot of strength to keep it at bay. Calmness comes from within. For you Christians or members of other religious denominations reading this, calmness comes from God’s word. For those of you not so religiously inclined, think of this calmness as being already a part of you. Part of your “inner-self”.

THERE IS A TIME AND PLACE FOR GENUINE, APPROPRIATE ANGER. There is a time and place to let the HULK out. For instance, most of us would respond to injustice and cruelty with anger. Healthy anger can be channelled towards constructively making our world a better place to live in. Healthy anger can be transmuted when one trains with weights. This is one of the un-sung benefits of weight-training with moderate to heavy weights. When executed properly, negative energy (anger) is transmuted through the iron and replaced with a charge of positive energy and vitality.

Anger or the HULK, when released with the appropriate intensity and direction is very positive and a good thing. This is partly because painful trials or conflicts that challenge the threat of the release of our anger/the HULK, produces something encouraging. It produces maturity and growth.

This maturity and growth ultimately leads to LOVE.

Your challenge: become better at controlling the Hulk within. Don’t be afraid to let it out and work on becoming increasingly aware of when to unleash your Hulk. But, only release your Hulk – when appropriate, and with a proportional response.

Roaarrrrr!!!

Until next time,

adequate sleep, Energy, life, sleep

Sleeping – there’s just no escaping it.

A good teacher is hard to find but finding a good student is even harder.
Plan the work – to work the plan.
Photo: discussing fine points of one of my programs with retired legend of rugby – Phil Waugh.
Ex-Australian Wallaby & Waratahs Captain. A living legend of the sport of rugby.

A large part of most our lives is sleeping.

If you sleep eight hours a day and live to sixty, you would have slept 20 years of your life away. Wow, it’s quite sobering when you view it this way, isn’t it? I’ve always believed that each of us should sleep the right amount – adequate: nothing more, nothing less. Just adequate amounts of sleep. But how do you know what is ‘adequate’? What is ‘right’ for you? How many hours do you sleep every day – this does not include the hours you lay in bed playing with your phone or reading or ..?

It is a personal thing, a personal habit after-all.

In this era of ever-increasing distractions through the advancing technologies, people are finding it increasingly difficult to ‘switch-off’ and enjoy a restful, uninterrupted sleep. We all do it every day but a vast number of people have forgotten how to ‘have a good night’s sleep’.

People are really struggling to adopt and implement good sleeping habits and most are not sure of how to get them too. Very sad and very dangerous, indeed. When you lose control of one of our most basic needs – sleep, you increase your overall ‘life risk’.

But why? Why are more people having poorer sleeping habits?

Feeling the ‘essence!’
Practise does not make perfect. PERFECT PRACTISE MAKES PERFECT.

There are many contributing factors, yes. There is no escaping it: sleeping is a ‘mini-death sentence’ we all have to regularly serve. Ideally, every single day. If this true then I would have thought that more people would be learning and investigating the best ways to get good sleeping habits. I mean, the average person would sleep 1/3 of their day away, it makes good sense to learn and implementing good habits, wouldn’t it?

The good news is it’s never too late to learn or re-learn.

You would probably have your own unique way of ‘falling asleep’. Well and good. Some of you (like me), could just transport your mind back to your early child-hood and imagine the way you fell asleep most nights. For me, I re-live the lovely, caressing hands of my grandmother massaging my body all over whilst humming a traditional song. It has NEVER FAILED ME. I fall asleep ALL THE TIME!

Don’t underestimate the importance of adequate levels of sleep in your daily life. The body, mind, heart and spirit all need ‘time-out’ and recovery time (for those of you who use weights to train, sleep/rest is vital to maximising muscle recovery and growth) to function optimally. Time-out to encourage longevity. Time-out to enhance your vitality. Time-out to allow you to be AT YOUR BEST. Time-out to evolve, to grow to adapt. Time-out to love – you, your loved ones and life. Time-out to generate zest in your life!

We all need time-out. We all need sleep and good rest.

It seems that there is an inverse relationship with increasing technology people’s abilities to sleep. Yes, to simply sleep! It’s not that simple anymore for a lot of people. Maybe, you? Whilst a lot of modernites are moving in to a ‘minimalist’ age, there still seems to be a struggle with this one habit: learning HOW TO SLEEP WELL. What used to be simple has been made complex!

Loading the ‘guns’ with proper execution.

And whose fault is it? Partly yours, partly mine, partly everybody’s. We all consume these products and we need to embrace it – yes. However, it seems that the more accessible people are to advancing and new technologies, the less able they are in managing their habits of good sleeping. Matter of fact, many people are applying bad habits of sleeping. Most are struggling to just sleep!

“What is the answer here?” you may be thinking. Well, I think, just like any other source of energy, you must become a better manager of the energy, the tool. You are in control, don’t let it control you. This can be more difficult than it sounds for a lot of people though as advancing technology also means that ‘personal/family time’ is now being invaded by employers. You’re working even when you’re ‘not at work (physically).

That is the life now. That’s just how it is. If that is the path you choose, then that is one of the drawbacks to the increasing use of advancing technologies: an uninvited, invasion of personal time/life (which may include ‘sleeping time’ too). Remember, I did say that it’s a choice: It’s YOUR CHOICE. It’s YOUR LIFE, after-all.

So, if you’re not getting adequate sleep or ‘time-out’, please do yourself (and your family) a favour and seek help. Seek help from the relevant professionals and services available today that may help you with the various sleeping dis-orders that millions of people suffer from every single day. Not seeking help before it is too late could be very costly to you and everyone that depends on you being alive.

The killer is: the compounding effect of continuous less than adequate sleep over weeks, months, years.

Life is not just about living longer, it is also about pumping life (vitality) in to the years you have left. One very important habit that ADDS VALUE to your life is sleep, adequate sleep. You can ‘pump life back in to you’ by getting consistent adequate levels of sleep. It’s not the quantity of hours that matter, it is the quality of your sleep.

So, if you have increased disruptions in your sleep due to say, insomnia – seek help. Not next year, today. The disastrous result of the compound effect of continuously being sleep deprived can strike at any time. Without warning. Boom!

All the very best in your decision regarding the adoption of good sleeping habits, in the time you have left on this planet.

Choose well.

Until next time,

Another view of the “front-double biceps’ pose.

~~Life COACH~~

awareness, belief systems, Beliefs, Energy, life, you

Do you believe in miracles?

So, do you believe in miracles or not?

I shared with you a story about my near-death experience in an earlier blog “I.Am.Nothing” and I mentioned that I would share with you the second story of the point I was trying to emphasise in that blog. The point being: that we are not alone, that ‘I am” does not exist …. That we are all outlying ‘balls of consciousnesses all connected (to various degrees and intensities) to the greater consciousness. This higher energy field. This Higher Force. This Universal Consciousness. Let’s just refer to it as: the Universe.

Let’s begin with a little hypothesis: We are ALL – ONE!

Well, that same friend I introduced in “I.Am.Nothing.” that asked me that loaded question regarding his realization that “I am” was not what it seemed was also part of this next story. What transpired reinforced my belief that I was and am part of something ‘bigger than me. That ‘me’ – this physical self that I know as ‘me’ was not really the ‘true me’.

It happened a few years after that ‘near-death experience’ I described in “I.Am.Nothing”. I asked the question of whether you believed in miracles. Well, do you? Or do you think that meaning links mind and matter like two sides of the same coin? That what we interpret as a ‘miracle’ is really just an example of the limits of our perception.

What I am about to share with you, some may consider a “miracle’. You decide …

Now, I told you that I have always loved mathematics and still do. I love the power of reasoning that you develop as you delve more and more in to it. Mathematics explains life (but I will go more into this in later blogs) but also helps you become a better student of life.

I remember being fascinated with mathematics all the way from kindergarten, through Primary and Secondary School. This love for it showed in my excellent placings in examinations throughout school years (I placed in the Top 2/3 of most of my subjects and in particular – Mathematics).

I loved it so much that I majored in Mathematics along with Physics in my first years at University. This friend of mine (who lives only 5 minutes from me today) was also doing a similar undergraduate degree as I was. He is a pretty good mathematician too.

This story is about an exam I took in my 2^nd year at University. It was an advanced Calculus/Algebra mathematics examination. A 3 hour exam at the end of a semester. My friend did this same exam too. A pretty difficult, high pressured exam.

I am sharing you this because I believe what transpired reinforced my belief that we are not alone. That reality as we ‘see’ it is not what it seems. That we are all a walking, talking, sleeping, eating, sh%tting … “balls of energy/consciousness”.

Up until now, I have only shared this story with my wife, close friends and some family members.

In retrospect, two weeks before the exam date, I had a strange feeling come over me. I felt quite different. I wasn’t sure what to make of it. I remember I didn’t feel like ‘hanging out’ with my mates or anyone else for that matter. I just seemed to be very focused.

I seemed to have an increased awareness of everything – internally and externally. I had a part-time job as an aerobics/body pump instructor and ran an aquarobics business at the University pool. Apart from this and my workouts, I seemed to have had an increased and somewhat overwhelming passion and love for mathematics in the two weeks leading up to the exam.

Like I said, I felt quite different. It was a strange feeling. It felt very weird. Something, an energy, a sense of vitality that I hadn’t felt since that moment in the car 2 years before that.

This was 20 years ago.

Retired Ex-Australian Wallaby & Waratahs Champion Captain & Leader – Phil Waugh.
Setting his own standards of excellence in all areas of his life, following my framework.
Champions such as Phil are celebrated because we recognize that they have overcome personal ambition through sacrifice and dedication to higher principles – higher standards.
Great leaders & sportsmen and women like Phil, can awaken awareness of the principle of higher standards that rests within the heart of every man and woman.
Awaken yours today!

I don’t remember sitting the 3 hour high-level mathematics exam. I cannot recall anything that transpired during that exam and to some extent leading up to it. I remember how I felt though, I felt an amazing sense of euphoria and an almost fearless sense of intense awareness. There was a confidence level that was beauty personified. I felt this same thing about 11 years later when I represented Australia at the World Natural Bodybuilding Championships in New York.

A feeling of ‘one-ness’ with the universe. Being in what seemed to be in ‘perfect balance & symmetry’ or in perfect balance in internal/external harmony. It was almost like floating along on the notes of music. In perfect harmony. I seemed to have a condition of infinite power, compassion, gentleness and love.

But I do remember what happened after, very clearly.

At that time, the internet was still young. Exam results would get posted on the faculty notice boards – with the course name, student i.d number and marks awarded. When it was released, I was playing a game of tennis in the mid-day sun. As usual, I had my shirt off (thinking that I would get a sun-tan while I played: killing two birds with one stone, so to speak).

On this particular day, I noticed that groups of students were gathering around and peering through the fence that surrounded the tennis courts. They appeared to be watching my game. Initially, I thought that they were actually watching our game with interest but then more students gathered and now I caught some of them talking to each other and pointing fingers at me.

I didn’t know what to think. A lot of thoughts crossed my mind. I couldn’t believe me and my opponent (who was a top University tennis player) were attracting this growing number of on-lookers. This had never happened before.

I thought that they may have been watching my opponent because of his standing in the tennis fraternity at the University but then he said that they were watching ‘me’.

“Watching me?” I thought. Wow! But, I was only a casual B grade player at best. I wasn’t anything special in tennis, I just enjoy all sports and used it as a form of cardio. Then, I thought that maybe they were admiring my physique and muscles (that I had been working very hard in the gym for). So, I started striking a few ‘body-building’ poses after every point won or lost. Alright girls, here is my ‘front double biceps’! I thought. It didn’t make sense though, the crowd were now clapping for me whether I won or lost the point.

Finally, I walked up to a girl I knew. As I approached her, I noticed a few other faces that I recognised in the large lecture theatre that we had our mathematics lectures in. What was happening, I thought?

I said hi to the girl–friend I knew and asked her what she was doing here watching and why was she and everyone else clapping for me. She then asked me if I had seen the examination results. I said, no. She then smiled and asked me for my i.d number and then said that I had the highest mark. Well, I wasn’t too surprised because I had had first place finishes many times throughout my Primary and Secondary school exams. It wasn’t very new to me.

Then, she said – “No, Paul, you didn’t just get the highest, you got FULL MARKS. You got One hundred per cent!”

Now, I was flabbergasted and shocked with this piece of news. In a 3 hour major calculus/algebra university exam, I got a PERFECT score. Not, 98%, not 99%, not 99.9% …. No, but 100%!

I had to go and see it to believe it.

Helping Chris close the gap between how he imagines himself to be and what he sees in the mirror.
Or in other words: Manifesting the ‘unfolding universe’ of his ‘enfolded’ invisible universe (what he imagines/dreams)

People who I didn’t know, were coming up to me to congratulate me on this achievement. Even the eventual Mathematics Gold Medallist came up to me to shake my hand and ask me how l did it. He only managed 92% and he got the second highest. It was so difficult that less than 20 people (my good friend had 82% and was one of these) out of the hundreds of candidates had greater than 80% (A grade). I told him I didn’t know how.

We were given back our marked exam papers in the lecture theatre. When they called out my name, I received even more applause. The lecturer said that in the history of the University and the history of the mathematics examination and faculty, nothing like this had ever happened. No one had ever got FULL MARKS. No one had got a PERFECT SCORE! But …

I DID. I mean, think about it … I didn’t even have a comma or a derivative mark wrong. It was the perfect exam paper.

If anyone asked me how I did it, even today, I still don’t know how. I honestly DO NOT KNOW HOW I DID IT. I do know, however, that I wasn’t myself in the two weeks leading up to the exam but was heightened during that particular 3 hours (whatever I was feeling ‘peaked’ at this point).

I know one thing: I wasn’t myself, I wasn’t ‘me’ as I knew it. “Me” was part of something greater.

I strongly believe today, that it wasn’t ‘me’ sitting that exam. I believe that I tapped in to consciousness and consciousness ‘worked through me’ to sit the perfect exam. It seemed that I knew the perfect answer to any mathematics question relating to that course. That is the only way I can explain it.

This was another example of when ‘me’ was not ‘me’.

What happened was a mathematical miracle at that time (and still has not been repeated since – a record that may stand the test of time). Like an Olympic record that has never been broken in decades. It was, as some may refer to it – an anomaly.

I won’t take credit for my performance in that exam. It was not ‘me’. I believe I was just a medium through which consciousness transmuted through. It is another story of when my ‘self’ was part of a larger Universal – SELF.

I was truly ONE WITH THE UNIVERSE.

I believe it comes in certain bursts. It is available to all of us. An avenue through heightened sense of awareness and enlightenment. I believe each individual has the potential to allow the transmutation of that energy via the energy-field that is all around us.

Each person just needs to prepare their SELF to facilitate this connection with the Universal Consciousness. Each individual need to develop their recognition tools/mechanism.

When you do, I believe you tap in to great ideas, great innovation, great creativity (that is already there in your subconscious).

You tap in to infinite intelligence.

Tap in to yours today and allow infinite intelligence ‘flow’ through you.

Whether you believe in miracles or not, try to comprehend that the unfolded universe is merely a physical manifestation of the ‘enfolded’ universe within YOU. If you accept that everything is connected with everything else, then, there’s no such thing as an “accident”. Nothing is ‘outside’ the universe. There is no such thing as a ‘miracle’. It is just a limitation of your perception of reality.

So, if everything is connected, it follows that you should watch your thoughts. Be fully aware of your beliefs. Why? Because the critical point in any complex system is that which the least power is required to alter the whole system, for example, a single move of a pawn on the chessboard completely changes the possibilities of the game.

Every detail of your beliefs and your belief system that you hold has consequences for better or for worse in the unfolded universe – in your reality. Work on changing your beliefs if they are not serving you as they did in the past. What served you when you were a child may not serve you now. Let those beliefs go. Be courageous to ‘let go’.

Work towards becoming more aware of the ‘real YOU’ in you and try keeping this formula in mind:

Do what you like to do best, and do it to the very best of your ability. You may just create something in the physical realm that may be referred to as a miracle…. but hopefully after reading this, you’re now questioning that thought pattern.

Until next time,

Manifesting the ‘unfolding universe’ in reality from the unfolded universe (invisible/imaginary).
What’s required to achieve “Peak Performance”?: the capacity to exhaustively utilize necessary experience combined with perseverance, courage, concentration, enormous drive and absolute integrity. TALENT ALONE IS NOT ENOUGH!
Everyone needs a little helping hand (or two) in the successful achievement of a worthwhile goal. VV

awareness, belief systems, Energy, life, Vitality

Life is about Energy Management, not Time Management.

The Best of the Best.
Phil Waugh – retired ex-Australian Wallaby & Warrahs Captain willing to embrace knowledge.
Increasing his awareness towards being the BEST HE IMAGINES HE CAN BE, using my framework.
An A+ Student!

All the way from my first year as an undergrad when I was 18, I have believed that life is about Energy Management, not Time Management. I never understood then and I still don’t know why people are still so obsessed with the concept of time management.

I mean, it does not matter how well planned your day is, you will always have an inbox full of outstanding ‘things to do’ or ‘someday things to do’. And the reason is, well, we all have just 86,400 seconds a day. Nothing more, nothing less.

Time is, after all a finite resource or at least our perception of it, is.

Where are you in your life, your career? Let me ask you a few questions and get you to answer them in your head – honestly. Do you –

Find yourself working 10 to 16 hour days
Sleep poorly and make no time for exercise or very little exercise
Find it difficult to eat healthy meals
Grab a bite ‘ on the run ‘ .ie., while working at your desk
Have less than adequate water every day because you are just ‘too busy’?

DO you find that the rising demands of your work requires you to put in longer hours? Does this never-ending increasing demands put extra stress and eventually take a toll on you – physically, mentally and emotionally? Individually, this is harmful.

Collectively, this is disastrous to an organization and the economy, Rising levels of sick leave; lower levels of engagement; high turnover rates and soaring medical costs, amongst other things. Very costly indeed.

In the Quantum world the Experimenter becomes part of the experiment.
That is the “hard problem” of the Quantum

Do you feel like you are pushing yourself so hard for longer periods of time that you’re almost at breaking point? I think a lot of today’s modern working culture encourages this, and it isn’t getting any better.

Well, the answer does not lie in better ‘time management’ techniques. No, like I said, time is a finite source. I’ve always believed the key to life is ‘Energy Management’. Because Energy is everywhere and everything, as Einstein summarised in his famous formula E=MC2. We’re all a ‘ball of energy’ or as I would sometime refer to each of us as ‘balls of consciousness’.

By focusing on self (and getting our ball of consciousness operating at optimal levels) we can communicate and tap in to the ball of energy out there – the UNIVERSE. That is, if we desire to reach our true potential in the one life that we have.

Energy in Physics can be defined as the potential for Work. Energy comes from several sources but I believe when the body, mind, spirit and heart are in ‘balance & fluid/symmetrical’, you move closer to your BEST SELF.

This partly defines what True Beauty is in my eyes.

When you keep your body, heart (emotions) and spirit in balance you find harmony in your mind. This harmony effectively energizes recharges individuals. I have helped hundreds of individuals through my programs and one of the most common pieces of almost immediate feedback I receive is their increase in energy levels and overall zest for life. My programs infuse people with the ‘essence of life’ infused with VITALITY!

High School and College students start getting top grades they never used to get; adults performance at work and other areas dramatically improve; they stress less and get more done.

This is where rituals are very important to maximising your energy potential every day. Within my framework, I get my students to religiously practise certain rituals every day. Rituals that involve key habits that are aligned with the achievement of their goals. A critical component of energy optimization is working your muscles the way its meant to be worked: with weights.

With an independent survey of all my students over the last 10 years that have gone through my programs showing that over 84% achieved or more of the results they set out for. A significant contribution to these students successfully achieving their goals and results is their increase of and management of their energy.

Sufficient and appropriate daily rituals are paramount for optimal energy levels all day, every day. I have concluded that these rituals (or habits performed deliberately at specific times, religiously) that I have identified and recommended for them is a critical component of each student’s energy expansion or increasing ‘slice of vitality’ in their daily lives.

These habits don’t have to be over the top. They are simply the ‘little mosquitoes’ in their lives. It could be as simple as are you having adequate levels of water each day? If not, try consciously drinking targeted daily water intake. Maybe, start going to sleep a little earlier and so getting more rest each night.

Try it. These small changes have a huge impact on energy and helped my students. Try it, it will help you too. You’ll see what I mean. You will start to feel infused with a certain level of energy you didn’t have access to before.

You will have more capacity or more potential, more energized!

Like an FM station, just one point off gives you an irritating “shhhh…”

I have being saying for over two decades now that Energy is key to a fruitful life. It is the key to everything. Yes, it is very important to invest in skills and knowledge and raise one’s competence in the work force but pales in comparison to better personal Energy Management in the long term.

You see, it’s like your mobile phone battery, it only has a few hours before it needs to be charged again. It cannot perform at maximum performance for too long. One will need to recharge it again. So, every individual I believe, should be more concerned in investing time in their energy potential or capacity and sustain it.

This is taken for granted in today’s world. A winning F-1 driver has scheduled ‘pit-stops’ to recharge, re-oil and get worked on by his team of engineers to sustain his and his car’s energy capacity for the duration of the race. Every person should look at their lives in this manner when it comes to their energy management and sustainability over the duration of their lives.

This is very important for both the long term and the short term. Wouldn’t I be correct by saying that greater potential or capacity increases chances of getting more done in less time and with higher levels of focus or engagement in a task? You know it makes sense.

I have witnessed this positive change built and sustained in the hundreds of students who have gone through my programs over the last two decades.

Like I said – the body does not lie.

To this end, because of our increasingly ‘busy’ days, people have increasingly lost their intuitive ability to ‘listen’ to the signs their body is crying out to them for help. Signals like drinking water; difficulties in resting (feeling restless), hunger and the ability to FOCUS!

Transmutation of Energy via a complementary style.
Photo; Retired Legend of Rugby, Ex-Australian Wallaby & Waratah Captain – Phil Waugh fully focused on task he has his both hands on.
Set your standards!

Many people ignore these signals or simply no longer have the ability to recognise them. You don’t use them – you lose them. Just like your muscles and your brain cells!

Not acting on these signals has consequences. The consequence in the short-term is that your energy source or potential burns less as the day progresses. In the long-term, it could mean a shorter life or less than optimal 2^nd half of your remaining life now.

I know in today’s world, where ‘being the busiest’ seems to be an Olympic Sport for workers, suggesting the implementation of some of the habits on a daily basis is counter-intuitive for high achievers. Or, recharging your batteries by taking a short nap could be considered insane. But, is it really?

I believe otherwise.

It makes perfect sense. It makes high-achievers even more productive. It makes everyone who are willing to make these little changes, a super-version of themselves. Act today, don’t leave it for tomorrow. Your life depends on it!

Tesla, Einstein’s hero was so “in-tune” with the Energy & understood HOW to harness that Power energy

Taking intermittent breaks (like a F-1 driver), for example, during the day should result in higher performance and more sustainability. Quality breaks, not quantity should be the goal here. I have seen people sleep for over 10 hours per day and still seem more restless after all the rest. Quality should be the focus if you are to help build and sustain your energy reserves.

I will talk about emotional and spiritual energy management in future blogs. For now, just know that if you take better care of your Energies (the only true thing you can control), the more closer you get to fulfilling your true potential.

I have seen them, so perhaps have you – people who love life. With bright eyes, taut skins, and great smiles. They look as if they have been newly minted.

How do they do it?

Partly through respect for self – respect for the bodies, minds and deeds. You see, Vitality does not seem to be as objective as weight loss, exercise, diet etc. It is more subjective. It seems to ‘come from within’ rather than achieved through outwardly efforts.

When you find one of those people, with that glow, ask them their secret. Then, contact me please and tell me all about it. If a few readers of this blog do this, we may be able to deduce the magic formula worth more than a rainbow’s pot of gold.

Become part of this search today.

And don’t let the life get sucked out of you before your time is up on this earth. Infuse your self, your being, with vitality through better energy management for life – in the short term and the long-term. Build muscle. Infuse yourself with vitality. Do you very best to preserve it. After all, Life is like muscle. Then …

.. Share your vitality and gifts with the people you care about most in the world.

Life is about Energy Management, not Time Management.

Best of VITALITY TO YOU and your family!

Until next time,

Einstein knew & understood the interconnectedness/synergy between Energy.
E = mC2
Simply put : all matter (visible & invisible is Energy)
I believe the “essence of life” is the ability to manage energy or Transmute Energy within & without YOU

All photos taken by: Robert Walsh of Robert Walsh Photography. Visit: “www.robertwalsh.com.au” for more information on how he may be able to help you with your photography needs.

action, adaptation, awareness, belief systems, Beliefs, change, choices, courage, Energy, game of life, Imagination, life, long-term strategy, perspective, planning, respect, self-image, you

Real Love for The Real Man.

Every man needs to wake and release the 'champion' within him. Let it loose. Let it fly. Let it go. In his own way.

Every man needs to wake and release the ‘champion’ within him. Let it loose. Let it fly with wings. Let it go and serve others … In his own way.

I mentioned in my previous blog “The Simple-Complex Man”, it is without doubt that being a father is difficult in today’s world but, I believe, being a man – a ‘Real Man’ is more difficult.

Look around us and the avalanche of images and messages that bombards us, every day, of what a Real Man is. In Australia and most of the developed world, it is heavily communicated in stereotypes in beer ads or car commercials. A lot of these stereotypes I find, conflicts with what most men out there think of themselves.

There are a lot of great men out there but many of them are confused. Confused of what it means to be a REAL MAN. Let me elaborate …

You see, from my experience in helping hundreds of men in gyms over the last two decades, a lot of men are so much more than what these narrow stereotypes convey. Really shallow stereotypes actually. What is even more concerning is the various messages of ‘love’ and what love means to a ‘Real Man’. The majority buy in to these stereotypes and meet disappointment in life – sooner or later.

Very sad indeed.

Like I said, it is very difficult for a lot of men out there. A lot of men who don’t know what it means to be a Real Man.

I must admit that I do not know the full answer but I do think that a big part of being a Real Man is that he is AUTHENTIC.

We learn many definitions of ‘love’ and we can think of many examples of what it is. Some think it is impossible to understand or define. Fair enough. It does not, however, mean we should not try to understand it.

You see, as I see it, for all you men reading this, “Love” for a Real Man is simply this: Action. Remember that saying “action speaks louder than words?”. Well, I think certain elements apply here.

There’s also another definition and for you Christians reading this – a Real Man will love a woman the way the Bible says it to. I think even the most militant feminist would not dispute a love like THAT!

I believe if every man out there just has one goal and that is: to be the BEST MAN HE CAN BE. For himself, FIRST and then for everyone else. And, when he leaves this world for the other world, he might just come close enough to be a REAL MAN.

From my interaction with men of all ages over the last two decades, I have deduced that Real Men have a few common traits –

He treats his wife RIGHT (in all areas of life).
He is a SERVANT rather than a MASTER ( I would like to think my wife and I are Co-CEOs)
He will do the RIGHT THING (doing the right thing is quite different to do what he has the RIGHT to do. Everything he does, he DOES WITH 100%. Why? Because nothing else would measure up).

So, how are you faring with the above traits (they are by no means exhaustive but are 3 that first come to my mind, deduced from my large sample of men over the last two decades)? Are you a Real Man? When can you call yourself a Real Man?

Well, let’s keep it simple. As I see it, there is only one way: become a BETTER SERVANT. Even the great Mother Theresa said that we need to serve ’til it hurts. I think this should be every man’s motto for his love for his woman. Yes, all REAL MEN seek to SERVE. Keep giving of yourself to your woman. To give is to serve.

If you’re a christian, then just like Jesus Christ, our saviour served his beloved followers. All GREAT MEN seek to SERVE.

This can be quite difficult to accept because most of today’s men are told the opposite with all the unfiltered messages being absorbed in to their minds, their ‘thought factories’. These unfiltered messages tell these men that they should grow up and find a gorgeous wife who will take care of his needs.

He then spends his entire existence seeking out that someone, he is brainwashed in to believing that she will bring him happiness because she will SERVE HIM. In return for this fulfilment of his distorted delusions of what life and love is and what it means to be a Real Man, he is made King of his Castle!

Yes, he works very hard. It’s the ‘manly’ thing to do, after-all he is told. He works very hard and gives her everything HE THINKS SHE WANTS.

But is that really what the woman wants? I beg to differ.

I have helped many men and women transition through very painful separations and divorces over the years and have felt the pain with them. It is very difficult for all parties involved. What I have noticed was that a lot of these women did get everything (from a material sense) that money could buy. A lot of these women had men who bought them everything THEY THOUGHT THEIR WIVES WANTED.

Costly mistake. I am appealing to all men reading this and all men out there to not make this mistake, like so many men have made before you.

What I found was that most of these women were miserable. Why? The reason I am about to tell you is something people don’t seem to talk about and may surprise some of you readers but I think it is one of the major factors in the consistently high divorce rates in society. Men reading this, I think the one very strong contributing factor that made these women miserable was that they were permanently PUT IN SECOND PLACE!

Not fair at all.

No one likes being in SECOND PLACE in anything for too long. Believe me, I know what it is like because I came 2^nd in the Australian Natural Body-building Championships in three separate occasions. Came so close, within a whisker … but to no avail.

Very dis-heartening and demoralising.

So, what I have found is that by the time I help these men and women during these painful transitions, most of these men do not fully understand what went wrong. A lot of these men are a little confused and I don’t blame them.

They are confused because they cannot ‘see’ how they have put their woman 2^nd all along. But by the time I see them, it is too late. These men just cannot put their woman first.

These men cannot because it goes against every fibre of their being. It goes against everything that they have been taught in all the messages society has pumped in to him from early child-hood. From within his family, his neighbours, his schools, his friends, his extended families and all the advertising messages and shows.

It surrounds him and blinds him. Chokes him. The Real Man is chained within, as he suffers silently. Like so many men in today’s world do. Suffer in silence with inconsistent definitions of what a Real Man is. His whole belief-system is distorted and he has been following blindly.

He cannot be blamed for total responsibility for this, if everything, everyone and his whole world is telling him that the distorted definition of Real Love is what it is. The world has inverted whatever that was made perfect by God. That of the real definition of love for a Real Man.

And do you know what the imitation is? Do you want to know what the counterfeit is dear readers? Do you know what the substitute is (just like there is for almost all genuine products out there)?

It is this: LUST.

It is everywhere and this is one of the many reasons I believe it is very difficult just to be A MAN in today’s world. Just like all non-genuine, unauthentic, imitation products and parts you buy – LUST can be cheaper, looks good and is just like the REAL DEAL. It can be very satisfying and bring excitement in to your life for a little while.

But, it is NOT TRUE LOVE!

You see – Lust, takes. Love, gives.

Lust is all about you, your selfish desires – your need to be the MASTER. Love puts your woman’s desires FIRST. Love puts SERVICE to your woman at the top of your ‘TO DO’ list.

Lust takes – for your selfish benefit. Love GIVES, for the one we love. This GIVING MUSCLE keeps growing if you feed and train it right. Strive to become a Real Man. All day. Every day. For the rest of your life on this earth.

Search for Real Love. Curb your enthusiasm for lust.

Lust is temporary, it will perish. Love is forever – in this lifetime and infinity. Even though you will return to dirt when you die, your soul – your spirit, your consciousness, will remain in the universe for all eternity. Your love will keep GIVING and you will be fulfilled beyond your desires.

… knowing that you were a REAL MAN while you were breathing and walked this earth. That you truly loved. That you were truly a servant to her – that you genuinely SERVED.

Those that you leave behind will have memories of this man. This version of a man that …. Went against the grain and was a … Real Man. To all Men reading this, I leave you this last message:

Be your AUTHENTIC-SELF. Tell the TRUTH. DO and BE YOUR BEST – ALWAYS. Take care OF YOUR FAMILY. RESPECT YOU – RESPECT OTHERS. Never stop DREAMING. Follow your DREAMS.

Until next time,

Connecting the dots through ‘mind-muscle’ communication via the nervous system strengthening.
Hold!

~~Life COACH~~

All photos taken by Robert Walsh Photography. Visit “www.robertwalsh.com.au” for an authentic artist. A true professional. A lovely human-being that is Robert. Vv.

adaptation, awareness, Beliefs, better choices, change, choices, consciousness, courage, dads, dads love, Energy, examined life, habits, happiness, hope, Imagination, intimacy awards, kids, Leader, life, long-term perspective, love, man, needs, real man, Team that works, trust, truth, you, your life

We Stand Alone.

If you could look in to a crystal ball and see the future, what would your legacy be? What would it look like? I have always thought about this question, more so, since my children came in to this world. I am sure you have too.

Would the line of men starting from you be men of integrity, men of honour … men who are true, authentic leaders? Or, would they be un-Godly men, from generation to generation without a clue of what it means to be a leader?

Would your descendants be men who are confused on what it is to be a man, of what it means to be a leader? Confused leaders appearing from generation to generation, one by one, because they have had no clear-cut role model.

Men who have not discovered their authentic man. Their authentic self.

Well, it starts with YOU.

I have always thought that whatever mistakes the men that have come before me have done, whatever mistakes my father and father’s father had done will end with me. The future Valentines begin with me.

The destiny of the future generations I see in the crystal ball rests in my hands. Your future generations of Men in your line rests in your hands, too.

No one else but me. Just like there is no one else in your line, except you.

Give him the scaffolding in your son’s life to help him, help himself build & live a life of significance. With a foundation of good etiquette/manners.

We stand alone.

The choices that you make with your family today will determine the quality of life in your family tree for generations to come. That is why one man – YOU – can make a difference. You can have a say with how the future turns out, so have your say damn it!

Plant your Oak Tree now.

To all the dads reading this, remember this one thing: You can call yourself a HERO without going to war by just saving your boy(s), your son(s). It will be the greatest and most fulfilling task of your life. Make that commitment today.

I know I have.

Be the role model your son needs before it is too late. Please. Don’t fail our sons like so many men have done over past generations. Besides, we owe it to them too because let’s be honest, they have helped us become better adults.

The fathers of today – all of us, need to be there for our sons, the men of the future. We must not fail them. We must be there for them, NOW, not tomorrow, not next month, not when they are teenagers. By then, it will be too late. They need to be shown the way and assisted, maybe, even help be the wind beneathe his wings like that famous Bette Middler. As Willaim Blake stated:

“No bird soars too high if he flies with his own wings”.

Look around us now, look around at what is happening to the world. Where have all the real leaders gone? There is not enough of them around anymore?

It starts with all of us MEN … all of us FATHERS. And what makes a good father? Maybe, it can be explained as simply as this :

“A good father is simply, a little bit of a mother” as Lee Salk suggested.

In my over two decades of helping and guiding young men in the gym, I have found that there is an inverse relationship with time spent with a child in their younger years and conflict in later years. You see, less time spent with children in younger years can result in more time spent with keeping these young men out of trouble and harm’s way in teenage and early twenties years.

Society might show signs that role models do not exist anymore. That children only see role models in sports stars and musicians and eccentric characters.

No, I do not wish to believe this.

It is up to each and every one of us, dads in particular, to grab on to our role model responsibilities. Each of us can change our own little world, in a way that only we know how.

Fathers, dads reading this, let’s be honest with ourselves, we all make mistakes. I like to think that we’re all flawed heroes, that’s what I tell my son and daughter. We have all made bad decisions. I know I have. Some of these decisions have to be reversed.

If you have accepted a promotion and transfer that takes you a step higher up the corporate ladder at the expense of your kids, think again. Maybe you need to re-think and reverse the decision. Take a step back now for your future generations.

I think providing for our kids is important but don’t lose focus, Men. What is important here, what is it that you as a Dad need to bestow on your children, especially your son(s) – the men of the future – while you have the opportunity to do so?

My son and I.
Provide the best blueprint you can of what it means to be a man.
He needs you now more than ever.
Save him now so that tomorrow’s world will be saved too.
Vv.

Love them unconditionally

What’s more important than providing a life of ease for them is ensuring they know you love them unconditionally.

It is inevitable that they will de-glorify us dads and us, parents when they are older and replace us with other role models. But, hopefully, before this happens, you would have planted the Oak seed of your character so firmly in their minds that, future generations of men will lead with true vision and purpose.

All because of you.

All because you stood alone.

United, if every father reading this, if every man makes this commitment to himself for his future generation of men – his seeds, that crystal ball of yours will show generation after generation of our men being true leaders.

United in this cause, we can change the world. Change its future for the better. Build a world of better leaders. A world where these men (and women) truly understand what it means to be a leader and that is to inspire.

Individually, we have the power to change our own little worlds. We can change the lives of our little men. To do our part and make our own little contribution to society, it is a lonely place but you must persevere for their future …. For …. Our future, too.

But to do this … we stand alone within our little family, knowing that we are not alone nor lonely. Because we know in our heart that we are united through a spirit of belief, that we are shaping better leaders, better decision-makers that will run our world – tomorrow, when we are all old and grey.

We are making this investment in our sons now ….. For a better tomorrow.

So, stand up, stand your ground. Love that son of yours like you have never loved another male before. Unconditionally. Win this battle today to win the war, tomorrow.

We stand alone to …. Stand united in this worthwhile cause!

Until next time,

Popeye Pirate Paul … & the exciting adventures of being a parent

The old Captain Viking Pirate & his Gritty Warrior Viking Pirate son … enjoying some ‘Father-son” experience.
These moments get etched into the memory bank of great experiences.
Build these up.

Changing lives. Empowering people. One life at a time.

Triple A to Life: Awareness. Action. Adaptation.

Category Archives: life

Focus on the muscles you don’t see in the mirror.

Genes for Jeans.

Mr Vulnerable.

Equal friendship.

When to unleash your “HULK”.

Sleeping – there’s just no escaping it.

Do you believe in miracles?

Life is about Energy Management, not Time Management.

Real Love for The Real Man.

We Stand Alone.