adaptation, attitude, God, parenting, parenting skills, path, skills, strengths

Unique WAYS.

Guess where we are?
The Sydney Harbour bridge in the background – at one of our nearby favourite playgrounds.

Every individual is unique. No two persons have the same finger print nor voice frequency. Every person has their own individual characteristics that make each of them – them.

It was only tonight that my wife mentioned that she was having a little difficulty coming to terms with the changes she has been observing with our daughter. These changes were testing her patience.

I told her that I believed that the optimal way is to allow our daughter to grow and discover her own possibilities. It is a continuously evolving process. We shouldn’t, as parents force our own biases and preferred philosophies on our child without embracing the uniqueness that makes up that child first.

I believe our parenting styles should not be too static and inflexible. Both parties to any successful relationship needs to negotiate slack. A constant push and pull tug-o-war.

We, as parents need to be better listeners, in particular, we need to listen to what our children ‘do not say’. In other words we should become more aware of our ‘children’s’ unique ways and adopt and adapt our parenting styles accordingly.

I think this is the meaning of the line regarding the process of raising your child (parenting) somewhere in proverbs in the Bible, something along the lines of –

“Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.”

As I see it, the ‘way’ is determined and ultimately pre-determined by God. It is unique to the child, to each of us (all God’s children). Way could also be another term for ‘path’ or ‘road’ I would think.

Metaphorically at least, I think this word ‘way’ relates to a ‘characteristic’.

So, it would follow that you, as a parent need to train your children according to his or her individual, unique characteristics – his or her WAY. This is difficult, I know but it is the best way, the optimal way.

Day out with my children at the Opera House.

If you believe there is a God or higher being (whatever you call it), then, you would see my argument here, that as parents, we cannot entertain the notion that each of our children is like a lump of play-do that we can mould to our desire. They each have a significant input in to their moulding process too.

Each child already has a unique stamp. This unique stamp is given from this higher force, this God. A pre-determined pattern – stamp. It is a GOD DNA.

I love observing my children and increasing my awareness of the strengths of both of them. My daughter, for example, is quite artistic and showed the aptitude and interest in colouring and drawing and writing very early in her life. My son, on the other hand is quite innovative and mechanically inclined.

He has already been showing strong signs of ‘thinking outside the square’ since he was 2 years old.

Each child has their own ‘way’. Their own unique characteristics. Their strengths.

Have you observed the differences in your children? Perhaps you were from a home of several children. May be one of you siblings was creative, another, practical. One may have been academically intelligent; another just average or didn’t finish High School. One of your brothers may be out-going and another sibling could have been withdrawn.

This is the ‘way’ that each and every one of us is created to make you uniquely – YOU. We didn’t just all roll out of a assembly line like the mass—produced products flooding the world every single day. We all have our own unique WAYS.

Each child, each individual is created and hand-crafted by none other than, God. But my wife and I are not alone in this department because most parents reading this would have had issues with their children as they pass through the various stages of development.

The key to survival in all areas of life is adaptation.

Zachary and Olivia with their good friend – Ruby. They just adore one another.

It is no different with the raising of children. Parents should treat this relationship, like any good, long-term relationship. You need to adapt to the ever-evolving child as he or she develops, it is a very dynamic process. Yes, your patience will be tested greatly (and you will test you child’s patience too), but always fall back on the philosophy of adaptation.

Based on what I have observed from life and what I have just said above, I think a lot of parents make 2 major mistakes in the raising of their children:

Using the same parenting approach with all their children.
Compare their children to other children.

These two major and serious mistakes stem from parents not making themselves more aware of each child’s uniqueness, from not knowing each child better. From not hearing what each child is ‘not saying’. From not understanding each child’s strengths and limitations.

Possible Solution: it is pivotal that all parents observe and understand the unique characteristics (strengths) in each of our children. The earlier, the better.

The acceptance of this tailor-made, handcrafter master-piece philosophy that represents each individual child can certainly make parenting more meaningful and wise. There is no ‘one-size fits all’ approach to parenting. Find a shoe that fits.

Embrace each child’s uniqueness. Take sufficient and appropriate actions to change your parenting style to facilitate the child’s way or characteristics or strengths. You need to have the courage to adapt your parenting style accordingly. It requires an attitudinal change. Watch them grow up in to the citizens of the world you imagine them to be.

At the pool with my munchkins – Zachary and Olivia. Learning the basics of swimming with me.
Your children are the most important investments you will ever make in your life (for those with kids).
Become aware of their strengths-their ways.

Pray (if you’re that way inclined) that their future is their WAY and is built on their WAYS (strengths and characteristics).

The thing is, correcting these parenting mistakes could have profound implications on your childrens’ future. Although people certainly do change over time and our personalities adapt, scientists have discovered that core personality traits are relatively stable throughout adulthood, as are our passions and interests (supports the God DNA belief).

Even more recent research is suggesting that the roots or our personality might be visible at an even younger age than was originally thought. The study revealed that a child’s observed personality at age 3 shows remarkable similarity to his or her reported personality traits/characteristics at age 26.

So, one of the responsibilities of parents is to identify the way or characteristics of each child, to find the areas where each child has greatest potential to develop strengths. Then go and do just that to realise their potential.

Deliberately tailoring parenting to each child is important because it allows each child find ‘their own unique way’. Too many people spend a lifetime headed in the wrong direction, the wrong path, the wrong way. They go not only from cradle to the cubicle, but then to the casket, without uncovering their greatest talents and potential.

This truth, unfortunately, is all too common.

So, adapt your parenting and correct the two parenting mistakes I highlighted above. Help your son or daughter find their way, based on their strengths not their weaknesses. This increases their chances of reaching their potential.

You see this regularly in sports. Great coaches of winning sports teams understand this and coaches each member of the team differently. The coach is a master at getting each team member to ‘work to his strengths’. This helps realise not only the individual’s potential but also contributes to the team’s overall effectiveness.

Change NOW to help your children NOT take the path of most resistance (working on their weaknesses and trying all their lives overcoming deficits). This is a waste of life but is the path of a great majority of people.

Just like your children, everyone has their WAY, their unique ways – what is yours? Are you working to your strengths? Why not?

Food for thought.

All the best.

Until next time,

My Unique WAY. Working to my strengths. Vv

My Unique WAY.
Working to my strengths. Are you working to yours?
Vv

Energy

The beauty of truth.

Life is full of labels and titles.

Most people strive all their lives for a better job, better title. It is a symbol of status and progress for a lot of people and society in general. A lot of the time.

Social functions and particularly work-related conferences are filled with grown adults with labels and titles. Everyone designated a status to help with each individual’s perception of reality – their truth.

I have helped people from all levels of society, with a huge range of titles. Yes, I do believe parts of modern day society suffers from status anxiety and you see it shine through in the interaction of people in social settings. Something I have observed in my over two decades in the gym is that, the title or label you have in society is of no use on the gym floor. If you can’t lift a weight, no title can help you.

People don’t need to ‘hide’ behind their titles in the gym, it is a relatively level-playing field. In the gym most people don’t need to pretend to be someone else. It can be simply seen as a place that have individuals with different faces (not titles) there for a common reason: each person being there to help the ‘person they see in the mirror (themselves).

We all get judged on our appearance and the gym floor is no different. It is unfair and most of the time unjust, but it is human nature to judge, based on titles or appearances.

Of course, appearances are deceptive.

Makes me think of one of the poets I studied in my senior year at High School – Keats. I remember a line in one of his poems that has stuck in my head ever since the first time I read it –

“Beauty is truth, truth beauty.”

What a powerful sentence and we can only wonder what Keats was thinking when he wrote this or just marvel at the intelligence behind his thinking. The sentence itself is beauty personified – elegant, balanced, simple and complex. It says so little, yet so much.

It could be interpreted in many ways but I have always believed Keats was saying that the truth of who you are will always speak more strongly than what you look like. Who you are will always triumph eventually over your appearance.

I believe or choose to believe that the truth will always shine through over appearance, whether it be titles or visual appearance.

So, maybe there is genius in that Keats statement. The genius is that we all need to be TRUE. That you need to be true to no one else. That you need to be TRUE TO YOU.

And how do you do that?

A good place to start is to know your philosophy and be true to the beliefs that stem from this philosophy. Your actions, habits and character and ultimately where you end up in life, all flow from this.

So, being true to the best in yourself, I believe, allows you to get closer to the essence of life. Some people discover this essence early in life and some only become aware of this truth for the first time at their death bed. Some never do.

Sad, but true.

But to be true to you, to be true to your beliefs is not easy in today’s world. To be true to the essence of things is very difficult. To be true to you is to ‘know thyself’ as the Greek philosopher and scientist – Thales, stated.

This is one of the most difficult jobs of every single human being – to know oneself, to increase awareness of oneself. Very difficult because everywhere around us, every single person we meet, every single day, we are reminded of our titles and labels – telling each of us who each of us is ‘supposed to be’.

Seek truth, understand that beauty is balance and symmetry in practise. Apply and adapt this (balance and symmetry/harmony) in all areas in the life that you live.

You don’t need titles and labels for this reality, just to keep up appearances. You just need to change your perception (through knowing yourself). Your perception after all determines your reality.

This is the beauty of truth: Know thyself.

Until next time,

a better life, authenticness, awareness, better choices, friends, friendship, genuineness, life

Equal friendship.

Ex-Australian Wallaby Captain – Phil Waugh performing a set of squats.
What goes up must come down.
A possible definition of a squat.
Summarises most things in life. It could also symbolically represent the ups and downs of an equal friendship. Each person understands the boundaries of the relationship just like there are limits to a squatting range of motion.

I believe in friendship – equal friendship.

Who do you consider your ‘friend’ at this point in your life? Your partner, wife, husband? Your high school or university friend? Do you have hundreds of friends or just a few with many acquaintances?

I can honestly say that my best friend at this point in my life is my beautiful wife, a friendship that has lasted fifteen years and counting. There are also many friendships that have been in existence for various lengths of time. You would have the same too. For example, I have friendships that started all the way from kindergarten (over 37 years ago) all the way to a few current friends.

You may have many people in your life you consider friends. In this day and age where the definition of ‘friends’ can mean what we have on facebook, a friend could mean something else to you. Some people pride themselves on the number of friends they have. There are many definitions. Fair enough.

In my fourty years on this earth so far, I have experienced many types of friendships and one thing has stood out: You don’t need to be a friend to everyone. Understanding this will help you ‘manage your funnel better’.

It’s just not possible to spread yourself equally with all your friends or so-called friends. Friendship, genuine friendship takes time and effort. Most of you reading this would agree.

We don’t have to look very far for a decent model. If you are a Christian, let’s remind ourselves of the model say, Jesus, adopted. He preached to, healed and helped thousands of people but he only had twelve disciples. How many of these close disciples did he invite when he was transfigured on the mountain?

Only three! You could say that he had only three genuine friends.

Loading the ‘guns’ with proper execution.
Here Brad is building his ‘mind-muscle’ connection under my watchful eye.

I recall seeing only two very good friends of my grandfather in his last few years of his life. They came around our home a few times a week just to sit and talk and reminisce of the ‘old days’. They were friends for over fifty years. I witnessed the beauty of very close, genuine friendship. It was truly a thing of beauty.

However, it was only after my grandfather passed away that I truly understood what I had observed.

With only 86,400 seconds in a day, you cannot possibly relate to every one of your friends in an equal fashion. Don’t stress if you aren’t. It all depends on the phase of life you’re in and the philosophy you adopt. Because of the finiteness of life, it is wise not to waste your precious friendship time on relationships that won’t be productive.

Don’t mis-understand me now. It is ok to lend a helping hand to a needy person but it is another to develop a friendship. Like I said, friendship takes time and hard work. It doesn’t JUST HAPPEN. In the case of the needy person, you could consider it as social work or community service or spiritual caring.

However, with a genuine friend, you and your friend will share and give equally to each other. You both get fulfilment and nourishment from being in the relationship.

For simplicity let’s break life up in to three categories to refer to relationships:

People whom you nourish and who return little or nothing to you
People who nourish you, but you may return nothing to them
Genuine and equal sharing relationships.

All three categories vital to your existence but I don’t believe the first two of the three types of relationships are friendships. The third type or category is what I refer to as real friendship. You must be strong and aware enough to distinguish between them. Mixing them up could cause problems.

It is important to reflect on your philosophy regarding life and the choices you make with regards to investing in certain relationships. What is needed is discernment and making the all important choice of taking some of these relationships to the level of genuine friendship.

Friendship that lasts because it is built on equality.

Here’s my little formula for friendship: Equal friendship = Genuine friendship.

Your ‘friends’ can have a big influence on where you end up in life. Increase your awareness and seek equality and authenticity.

Choose well.

All the best!

Until next time,

Retired rugby legend: Ex-Australian Wallaby & Waratahs Champion Captain & True Leader – Phil Waugh.
Setting his own standards of excellence in all areas of his life, following my framework.
Champions like Phil help us recognize that he believes in sacrifice and dedication to higher principles – higher standards.
AWaken yours today towards THE BEST YOU CAN BE with one of my programs!

~~Life & wellness COACH~~

a better life, action, adaptation, ageing, asking questions, attitude, awareness, balance, beauty, better choices, change, Change Agent, chaos, choices, compassion, consciousness, dads, eternity, examined life, game of life, strengths

Simplify to Amplify.

You learn from children and then learn from us.
It is a two-way learning experience, not one way (parents to children like some people think)

Time will tell

I love being a dad.

I love being a father to my two children. Every day I am grateful for the blessing my wife gave when she chose to bring them in to this world.

Having children is a true blessing. I’m sure all dads reading this would agree.

I love being with my children – doing every single thing with them. I just feel I want to spend every single minute of my life with them. I truly thank my intelligent, strong, caring, loving wife for the opportunity to spend a big chunk of this phase of their lives with them.

It is truly a blessing I experience that not many dads out there have the opportunity to do so. They have learned a lot from me and I have learned many things from them already.

I love observing them, you can learn so much (I’m sure a lot of dads and mums love this too). Even in the first 2 to 3 years of their lives, I can tell how distinctly different they are to one another. They are poles apart in certain things and activities they choose to participate in.

For example, Zachary makes it very clear that he does not enjoy colouring or drawing, whereas Olivia has an obvious talent in this area. They have obvious inclinations towards certain activities. They tell us what they are interested in and we can certainly observe this through they repeated behaviour.

These are the traits that need to be developed, traits/strengths that need to be amplified to bring the best out of each child, each person. In simple terms, we need to simplify to amplify.

Time will tell.

Time will tell what truth our children search for

Know YOU – build on your strengths and appreciate your uniqueness

Zachary loves solving puzzles – particularly electronic gadgets or mechanical tools. Zachary had shown a much higher level of patience in the solving of shapes and puzzles than Olivia did at the same age.

It’s just his thing.

Pulling things apart and putting it back together again. He’s always asking the question ‘why?’ and he is very strategic. Already out-thinks me on occasion and he is only three and half years old. He would certainly keep my neurons stimulated as he grows with his strategic constructive debates.

I’ve always believed that due to our short time on earth, we need to firstly identify our strengths and work towards enhancing these through focused and deliberate practise for our future and for the betterment of man-kind.

It’s better use of our 86,400 seconds that we have every day.

Essentially, you need to know You – build on your strengths and appreciate your uniqueness just like my children demonstrate from such a young age. Despite being born from the same genetic blueprint, they differ in so many ways.

Dogs are truly one of man’s best friends

Why work on your weaknesses?

From when we were kids, the school system seemed to encourage the opposite: emphasising our weaknesses and telling us that we need to ‘work on our weaknesses’. Millions of people seem to be spending a lot of time ‘working on their weaknesses’ from the cradle to their grave.

What a waste of time and life!

Overcoming deficits or weaknesses is an essential part of the fabric of our culture, of our society, isn’t it? But why work on your weaknesses?

I mean everywhere we go, we hear stories, see movies, read books about the lotto winner or the underdog who beats one – in – hundred million odds.

It’s everywhere and that is one of the primary reasons gambling is so popular because each and every one of us have been brain-washed in to believing we have great chances of winning even though we may not have the natural ability to win.

However, every day we are bombarded with these stories and we get a deluded sense of the truth. It seems that we tend to celebrate those who triumph over their lack of natural ability much, much more than we celebrate those who capitalize on their innate talents. It certainly makes for ideal TV shows ratings and sells newspapers too.

Champions practise a lot of visualisation and simulation.
To create magic, you need to fuse the worlds of sanity (where you are) with insanity (where you dream/imagine you are, before you are).
That is difficult.
That is one of the key keys.
Don’t stop. Trying. Believing.
Keep on … keeping on. You’ll get there. Everyone always does.
Especially, if you do it with your heart. and ….
with LOVE.

Taking the path of most resistance

As a result of this over-inflated, deluded view of an aspect of success, we have millions of people that chase goals that are impossible. They see these, say, over-night multi-millionaires as THEIR HEROES and the epitome’ of success and so set their sights on conquering major challenges.

Unfortunately for them, this is taking the path of most resistance!

I mean in recent years we’ve all witnessed many examples of these poor souls embarrass themselves on the top reality tv shows looking for talent. How awful is this? I mean I couldn’t understand how people with no talent whatsoever are permitted to get on national tv and perform and get laughed at? It is great for TV show ratings and advertising dollars for the network but isn’t this degrading to the person?

It’s the same for certain sports or careers, it isn’t very difficult to observe that a teaching a fish how to climb a tree like a monkey will always result in disappointment. The fish will never be able to do what a monkey naturally does best and vice versa. A monkey will not be able to swim as well or as fast as a fish in the water. Each individual or animal needs to find the right environment to strive and perform at it’s best.

working to my strengths helped me be one of the best in the world at my chosen sport.
I could not have made it that far in say … basketball. Height is a genetic weakness.
Being strong with lots of power are strengths that when developed helps you achieve your truth.
Your beauty.

Know the difference between positive thinking and delusional thinking

These aspiring contestants then get asked to leave by the judges because, well, they simply suc$ed at it! Then the contestant breaks down and cries. The producers of these shows have milked this sob-story so well and I think most people have had enough of seeing these tear-jerkers.

I used to ask my wife where that poor person’s friends were? Isn’t that a role of a good friend – to tell him/her know how awful he/she is at the particular skill before getting on national tv to get humiliated.

The sad thing is that these contestants actually believe they sound ok. They actually believe that with an opportunity and working hard and getting a tutor, they would somehow miraculously be as good as their idols or as the judges. That to achieve success, it is only and all about hard work. And everyone – the whole audience and viewership seem to believe this too. Now, you could call this type of thinking ‘positive thinking’ but I think it more closer to ‘delusional thinking’.

You should know and understand the difference between positive thinking and delusional thinking. I think many in society believe and practise the latter, unfortunately.

Society does not seem to give credit to innate talent – and that applies to everything in life – in athletic ability, music ability, mechanical ability, spatial ability, emotional ability, spiritual ability etc. Hard work is important to success, yes – but its not the only important thing. Innate ability (or talent) is very important too.

Your life is a continous journey of setting, failing and succeeding in goals … until you … kick the bucket! Keep moving forward, I say!

A person can only perform from a platform of strength

I believe one of the most important responsibilities of parents is to observe and identify the talents and strengths that their children have. This can be done in the very early stages/years of their lives. It will save a lot of heart-ache and pain later in life – in the later teens and early twenties.

It seems that even though we change over time and personalities adapt, scientists have discovered that core personality traits are relatively stable throughout adulthood, as are our perceptions and interests. Even more interesting is that recent studies also show that a child’s observed personality at age 3 is very similar to his or her personality traits reported at age 26.

So, just being more aware as a parent and spending time with your children and really observing them would tell you a lot about their talents. This increased awareness would help give you some idea in the direction they may be more inclined to succeed in their adult lives.

Afterall, a famous management guru said once that a person can only perform from a platform of strength.

A plant of such beauty and delicateness has to have the right environment and conditions to flourish.
You and your strengths need the right environment and conditions to flourish.
FInd yours.

Learn to build on who you already are

Think about you, your life so far.

Are you doing a job that utilizes ALL your strengths? Are you fully utilizing your talents? Or are you doing something that your parents and/or family and friends expected you to do? I’ve seen and heard so many stories about kids entering University and realising they didn’t love Law, for example (which their parents or family expected them to do) was not what they were really good at. They then go back and do another degree or two before discovering their true strengths. Their true love.

They’re still one of the lucky ones.

Are you just doing your current job in a ‘half-hearted attempt’ – doing just enough to get through and not really ‘setting the world on fire?’ Well, are you? Don’t fret, you’re not alone. Apparently, a huge percentage of the world’s population never, ever get to reach their potential because they are not doing a job or work that utilizes their strengths.

Very sad indeed.

Very sad because you only have one life and you are doing something that would not bring your closer to your full potential. Not through the fault of our own but through generations of mis-direction and philosophy partly through the education system. Everyone is brain-washed to believing that they have got to spend all their lives working on ‘their weaknesses’.

One of the keys to human development and/or self-development is building on who you already are.

me in one of the environments where I am at my best and strive to be my best and have the necessary strengths to excel at this. FInd yours.

Journey of self-discovery

To do this, you need to increase your awareness of yourself. You need to be who you are.

But, who are YOU?

Within this journey of self-discovery, I am positive you will find the real strengths that lie within you (if you haven’t already done so).

Identifying your talents and developing them in to real strengths and aligning yourself with the right task is vital to reaching your potential in your life. By putting most of your energy into developing your natural talents, it would seem that extraordinary room for growth exists.

Continuously helping you become the best you can be … BEGIN help by helping yourself.
Then,
Reach out and touch someone … be the light for someone who can only see darkness.
Help them see ‘beauty’ .. see their truth.
Help them manage their insanity with sanity … their chaos with order.
Pray.

Two main conditions for success

I’ve said this before that the two main conditions for success in any sort of work are:

Interest
Confidence

People usually give little attention to these two very important variables because it seems it is very difficult to increase levels of both of these simply by an ACT OF WILL.

I think that is true, you cannot increase confidence by simply WILLING yourself to be. Just as much as you cannot increase your size of your muscles by sitting on your couch and willing it to grow!

This does not mean that it is impossible to change your muscular strength for example. If you lifted weights for repetition and gave your muscles the building blocks of muscle nutrition, you would increase your muscle density.

However, your ability to build muscle is limited to your genetic potential also. So, it seems that confidence and interest can be changed by taking the proper measures and having a step-by-step structured approach to developing these qualities in a certain area.

Important fact: People tend to show a greater degree of intelligence and knowledge in connection with their hobbies than in any other department of life.

You have only one life, so use your available time well.

True Leaders develop Leaders.
Here we have former Australian Rugby Wallaby Captain – Mr Phil Waugh, allowing himself to be led and coached to help him, help himself … find his best self.
Leaders have belief, they have faith but most importantly … they have hope.
That tomorrow will be better than today.

Each to their own

Work on your strengths and pay someone else to work on areas that you are relatively weak at. As a past client of mine use to always say ( he was a board member of several publicly listed companies in Australian and NZ) “each to their own!”. His wife (who I used to train too – for almost 6 years, used to make fun of him and how bad her husband was at using a hammer or tools like that).

He used to always remind me that it was better use of my time to focus on my strengths, saying “Focus on your strengths, son. Focus on your strengths!” and “ each to their own … “.

I agree.

His strength was in numbers and interpretation and story-telling of numbers. He recognised this early and worked and built on his strengths and became the success that he is today.

It is very difficult though, to find your true strengths.

working on what you can’t see is somethimes more important than wha tyou can.
Intuition and ‘feel’ is, I believe more important and more powerful thatn intelligence.
Then, you are ín tune’with the universe

Have Focus

Some people are lucky enough and find their purpose – ie., a cure for cancer or paint pictures. This ONE THING matters to them above all else – above comfort, wealth, respectability, safety, family ties or social obligations.

They have FOCUS.

Very few people are this fortunate and this clear cut in their goals in life, after becoming aware of their strengths very early on. Most men and women, I believe, are prepared to fit in, more or less, with the customs they find around them. To work at any job by which they can earn a reasonable living.

I’ve always asked myself that question – why is this so?

It also seems that there are probably some people who fall between these two stools I have mentioned above. These people (if they utilized and worked on their strengths) could be happier and have more growth and reach their potential in life with great certainty in a vocation that uses these traits.

However, it seems that they may fear or have the lack of self-knowledge or the courage or determination needed to break away from the life which other people expect them to lead.

Read that last sentence again: they are …. Afraid to break away from the life which other people expect them to lead. Afraid to do the work that nature designed them. I believe that maybe, in a perfect world, they would be encouraged to do such work.

Ask yourself: to which type of person do you belong?

Attitude is key at winning in the Game of Life.

Fear of Failure

I think the biggest FEAR that is holding people back is not FEAR OF FAILURE. No, it is really FEAR OF CRITICISM/RIDICULE from family and friends for the decision to pursue something career/vocation that they least expected you to do.

This FEAR OF NOT MEETING OTHER’S EXPECTATIONS OF YOU is what keeps people from taking a risk and believing in their own abilities/talents and working towards developing those.

It is very difficult. It has always been.

This is how it has been for the majority since the beginning of time. So, stop working on your weaknesses, and encourage your children to spend time and effort on their strengths. Strengths that you can quite easily observe while you spend time with them.

Reach for your potential through the development of your strengths. Spend more time on them, not your deficits. You’re a complex individual – every human being is. Raise your awareness of yourself and filter down to your top three to five strengths.

Simplify yourself – simplify YOU. Simplify the complex YOU.

Find out WHAT WORKS BEST.

Then, work hard at making these strengths the BEST. Make what works best for YOU, THE BEST. This is amplifying your strengths.

So, it follows that to achieve your potential, you need to SIMPLIFY TO AMPLIFY.

Have no fear.

Remember: No risk, no nothing (with positive thinking – not delusion thinking).

Choose well.

Until next time,

Explaining the fine points of re-engineering the physique and increased self-awareness through enhanced ‘mind-muscle’ connection..

awards, caring, compassion, intimacy, intimacy awards, man, real man

Intimacy Awards please.

Photo op with a local resident and her dog. Lovely.

In my life so far, I have observed that there is an award for all the great traits society appears to hold above all others. Traits most of us aspire to. In today’s world, people are amazingly connected to their teams – you name it. They identify strongly with their sporting teams, their club teams, their individual sport (that is a team sport) etc.

Men (and women) battle it out on many sporting arenas, education, politics and business to win the cup/trophy/prize money. Demonstrating all these tangible, hard – winning skills.

There is an award for almost every trait related to hard work, determination and success – an outward expression of strength, power and discipline and determination. A beautiful thing that is celebrated and written about (from the winner’s perspective) throughout history. Whether we’re talking about successful people or successful nations (in wars).

History is biased towards awarding the victors. That’s just how it has always been.

But the world has changed a lot.

Not only just with technology but with regards to everything else. It is a flat world after all. Definitions of what it means to be a ‘man’ or a ‘woman’ today is very different to what they were say, 50 years ago. Definitions of a family, sex, sexual preference and marriage is different today too.

Maybe, just maybe, we should start giving out awards for the more ‘softer’ skills of an individual. Things like – compassion, care, trust, intimacy and conflict resolution. Not just awards for being the strongest, fastest athlete or ‘talent’ in the business world which it has always been. Why do we think that these men are the best men to model yourself after? They may be great at ‘making money’ but may not have great skills at other important areas of life. It seems, the ‘halo effect’ is at play here for many ‘perceived leaders’ in the Corporate & Financial World of our society.

Not a very wise thing to do.

I think there should be awards for the men, who embrace change. Men who embrace the softer skills that is part of the modern-day definition of what it means to be a man. There should be awards for the courage taken for intimacy and compassion and show of affection. There should be an award for men who place family over career promotions. This is fear personified. A very tough choice.

Men are not just what society makes out the majority of the species to be – selfish, power-hungry, career-focused, sexually-obsessed being. No, a man has other parts to his being that often does not get a chance (as often as society allows) to ‘see the light of day’. A side that is ‘put under the carpet’ and rather neglected over many generations.

My children – Olivia and Zachary striking a ‘front double-biceps’ pose for the camera. Watch out, these Valentine Guns are loaded!

Whilst these parts of a full-man is walked on as a doormat, the more commonly emphasised parts such as – uncaring, careless, aggressive side is stressed. We hear, see, read about this every single day. On the sporting field, in the business world, it seems in every single crevice of this earth. No one is immune to this.

Maybe, just maybe, society should start recognising the courageous men out there who are:

Not afraid to demonstrate genuine affection to those he loves
Not afraid of genuine intimacy with others
Not afraid to accept equal responsibility in the raising of children (in every sense of the word – not just from a financial sense)
Courageous enough to perform all the tasks required of a ‘dad’ just as it is for what was a ‘once-upon-a-time’ womans’ domain
Courageous enough to be a role model for the young men (sons, nephews) of the changing perceptions of what it means to be a ‘man’
Brave enough to demonstrate his full display of affection and role model to his daughter/daughters
Not afraid to get in touch with his ‘feminine side’ – not just as a trend but as an obligation that goes along with what it means to be a man/father/dad.
Embrace the changing status of what a ‘real man’ is.

Society should start giving out awards of bravery not just to celebrate the historically implanted image of men who went to war, carrying a gun. Yes, these bravery awards are well deserved. But history is littered with wonderful examples of this and this image of bravery is forever etched in our psyche.

But, I believe there are also heroes that stay behind. Men that never get a chance to carry a gun. Men that never ever go off to war. Men that never ever get a chance to win that ‘bravery award’. No, but these men are still here. Men that are not afraid to get in touch with their ‘feminine side’ and this isn’t saying the ‘gay’ side (not that there’s anything wrong with that … as Seinfeld would say). Just plain old simple men who have made different choices to their fathers and grandfathers and all the men that have come before them. Better choices. Choices that are relevant to the times we live in. These are Trailblazers. They are all around us. Could be talking of you. Maybe of some the male friends you know. I bet you have many.

They’re everywhere! But they’re afraid to come out.

I had a family gym that was predominantly male (70%) for about 7 years. I encouraged the men to speak freely and communicate all their feelings and we shared stories and helped one another through tough emotionally difficult phases of life. What a wonderful group of ‘post-feminite new age males’.

I believe a lot of these men still bottle up these genuine ‘softer – parts’ of themselves for fear. I believe it is mainly a deep-seated fear of ‘what other people would think of them’. It is not fear of being a failure of being a man, a father in today’s world, according to today’s definitions. No, it is a fear of criticism that goes along with your decision to fully accept all the responsibilities that go along with what it means to be a MAN.

Fear of what people would think of you if you gave up a promotion at work because you put your family first. This would be totally abnormal. “Are you insane!” … you would hear friends and family say. Because it goes against expectations. It goes against prevailing perceptions. It goes against the ‘status quo’. Something that will take time to change and fully accepted. Just like it has taken time for countries to pass laws to de-criminalize same-sex marriages.

A big part of this, I believe is acceptance of the ‘other side’, the feminine side to his character. There should be bravery awards given to men and dads who demonstrate great skills at the softer skills to his being. Softer skills that don’t necessarily make him soft. No, far from it. Soft skills that make him a complete, whole, real man. An authentic man.

This is the definition of bravery – doing something that you’re afraid to do but you do it anyway. Pessimists would call this stupidity.

A group of men of different ages chatting about challenges of life as we transition through the phases of life. Storytelling was a big part of my gym where all men of all ages took the opportunity to share their fears, their desires and mistakes and more . A wonderful informal male-bonding and vitality enhancing phase of my life.

These awards of public recognition for bravery in intimacy will encourage the current crop of men to embrace this neglected side and part of them (just like it has been for their fathers and grand-fathers and every male figure in their family line). But more importantly provide a re-wiring opportunity for the men of tomorrow (our sons) to embrace the changing definition of what it means to be a ‘real man’.

That the young men of today – my son, your son(s) may look upon traits such as tenderness and care, compassion and heart as acceptable and as important as work ethic, discipline and winning at all costs.

My hope is that recognising bravery awards for the men of today who make these choices would lift the lid on this stereotype and ‘free’ and liberate the ‘hidden, softer’ male that is in every man out there.

Not all heroes hold guns. Not all great men climb to great heights. Not all great men seek this definition of success. My grandfather, a very influential man in my life was a great example of this. To me, he was my hero. A true gentleman. I only fully realized the man he was when he died. I couldn’t believe the amount of people from all walks of life that paid respect for this man.

I only truly understood the man he was and what he meant for my life and view of life only after he died. I was very fortunate that I had him as a mentor in my early years of life. His definition of success was not skewed unhealthily towards material and financial gain at all costs. He had a much broader view of success. Success in all areas of life.

There is a hero in every man. Yes, there is a hero in you, too (and you don’t need to be awarded a Victoria Cross for this)!

With two good friends and gym family members. Two men who should win “intimacy awards’ for choosing to be the man that they dreamed to be.

In my books, all heroes believe in what is right. These heroes go to great length to stand by what they believe in. To STAND THEIR GROUND. Even if this means that they are in the minority at this present time. Even if they are going up against the status quo. Even if they are ‘rocking the boat’ about what it means to be a ‘real man’ in today’s world. Even if they are as proud to receive a ‘bravery award for intimacy/affection/compassion etc’, publicly.

And hope that one day, these awards for the ‘softer-side’ of a man is held in as high regard or close to that of a man who goes off and wields a gun in a war. Or to that of a man who climbs the corporate ladder to his imaginary snow-capped mountain top and feeling unsatisfied with life when he gets to the top and realises that there isn’t any snow at the top.

The war WITHIN is far greater and tougher battle than the war without. For ALL MEN. How you manage and choose to navigate this internal emotional mine-field as you pass through the different phases in life is very telling.

All the best to all the young dads/men out there trying to make sense of life and what it is to be a man and looking for answers to the question “Is this all there is to life?”

This question, my friend is one that only YOU can answer. There is one certainty: you will find YOUR ANSWER. How you go about finding that answer is the issue here. Aim to search for the answers in the right places. For those of you men that already get that public recognition of bravery, bravery award of intimacy on all levels. Think of yourselves as the lucky ones.

Congratulations. You deserve it! You are a trail-blazer, you are an example of courage in action. Come on, men, I know the “Real Man” lies dormant in some of you reading this … it is time to let him out so that you can be free of the chains that burden and hold you down, just for being a man. The chains of living a life based on expectations of others.

You have one life. Live it with total and utter intimacy and know that it is very ‘manly’ to do so. Reach out and for that Intimacy Award, I’m sure you’ll get it if more choose to do so.

There is hope, so, let’s all get together and request for Intimacy Awards please!

Choose well.

Until next time,

Life is about choices.
Choose well.

~~Energy, VITALITY & Life COACHING Conversationalist~~

awareness, belief systems, Beliefs, Energy, life, you

Do you believe in miracles?

A good teacher is hard to find but finding a good student is even harder.
Plan the work – to work the plan.
Photo: discussing fine points of one of my programs with retired legend of rugby – Phil Waugh.
Ex-Australian Wallaby & Waratahs Captain. A living legend of sport.

So, do you believe in miracles or not?

I shared with you a story about my near-death experience in an earlier blog “I.Am.Nothing” and I mentioned that I would share with you the second story of the point I was trying to emphasise in that blog. The point being: that we are not alone, that ‘I am” does not exist …. That we are all outlying ‘balls of consciousnesses all connected (to various degrees and intensities) to the greater consciousness. This higher energy field. This Higher Force. This Universal Consciousness. Let’s just refer to it as: the Universe.

Let’s begin with a little hypothesis: We are ALL – ONE!

Well, that same friend I introduced in “I.Am.Nothing.” that asked me that loaded question regarding his realization that “I am” was not what it seemed was also part of this next story. What transpired reinforced my belief that I was and am part of something ‘bigger than me. That ‘me’ – this physical self that I know as ‘me’ was not really the ‘true me’.

It happened a few years after that ‘near-death experience’ I described in “I.Am.Nothing”. I asked the question of whether you believed in miracles. Well, do you? Or do you think that meaning links mind and matter like two sides of the same coin? That what we interpret as a ‘miracle’ is really just an example of the limits of our perception.

What I am about to share with you, some may consider a “miracle’. You decide …

Now, I told you that I have always loved mathematics and still do. I love the power of reasoning that you develop as you delve more and more in to it. Mathematics explains life (but I will go more into this in later blogs) but also helps you become a better student of life.

I remember being fascinated with mathematics all the way from kindergarten, through Primary and Secondary School. This love for it showed in my excellent placings in examinations throughout school years (I placed in the Top 2/3 of most of my subjects and in particular – Mathematics).

I loved it so much that I majored in Mathematics along with Physics in my first years at University. This friend of mine (who lives only 5 minutes from me today) was also doing a similar undergraduate degree as I was. He is a pretty good mathematician too.

This story is about an exam I took in my 2^nd year at University. It was an advanced Calculus/Algebra mathematics examination. A 3 hour exam at the end of a semester. My friend did this same exam too. A pretty difficult, high pressured exam.

I am sharing you this because I believe what transpired reinforced my belief that we are not alone. That reality as we ‘see’ it is not what it seems. That we are all a walking, talking, sleeping, eating, sh%tting … “balls of energy/consciousness”.

Up until now, I have only shared this story with my wife, close friends and some family members.

In retrospect, two weeks before the exam date, I had a strange feeling come over me. I felt quite different. I wasn’t sure what to make of it. I remember I didn’t feel like ‘hanging out’ with my mates or anyone else for that matter. I just seemed to be very focused.

I seemed to have an increased awareness of everything – internally and externally. I had a part-time job as an aerobics/body pump instructor and ran an aquarobics business at the University pool. Apart from this and my workouts, I seemed to have had an increased and somewhat overwhelming passion and love for mathematics in the two weeks leading up to the exam.

Like I said, I felt quite different. It was a strange feeling. It felt very weird. Something, an energy, a sense of vitality that I hadn’t felt since that moment in the car 2 years before that.

This was 20 years ago.

Retired Ex-Australian Wallaby & Waratahs Champion Captain & Leader – Phil Waugh.
Setting his own standards of excellence in all areas of his life, following my framework.
Champions such as Phil are celebrated because we recognize that they have overcome personal ambition through sacrifice and dedication to higher principles – higher standards.
Great leaders & sportsmen and women like Phil, can awaken awareness of the principle of higher standards that rests within the heart of every man and woman.
Awaken yours today!

I don’t remember sitting the 3 hour high-level mathematics exam. I cannot recall anything that transpired during that exam and to some extent leading up to it. I remember how I felt though, I felt an amazing sense of euphoria and an almost fearless sense of intense awareness. There was a confidence level that was beauty personified. I felt this same thing about 11 years later when I represented Australia at the World Natural Bodybuilding Championships in New York.

A feeling of ‘one-ness’ with the universe. Being in what seemed to be in ‘perfect balance & symmetry’ or in perfect balance in internal/external harmony. It was almost like floating along on the notes of music. In perfect harmony. I seemed to have a condition of infinite power, compassion, gentleness and love.

But I do remember what happened after, very clearly.

At that time, the internet was still young. Exam results would get posted on the faculty notice boards – with the course name, student i.d number and marks awarded. When it was released, I was playing a game of tennis in the mid-day sun. As usual, I had my shirt off (thinking that I would get a sun-tan while I played: killing two birds with one stone, so to speak).

On this particular day, I noticed that groups of students were gathering around and peering through the fence that surrounded the tennis courts. They appeared to be watching my game. Initially, I thought that they were actually watching our game with interest but then more students gathered and now I caught some of them talking to each other and pointing fingers at me.

I didn’t know what to think. A lot of thoughts crossed my mind. I couldn’t believe me and my opponent (who was a top University tennis player) were attracting this growing number of on-lookers. This had never happened before.

I thought that they may have been watching my opponent because of his standing in the tennis fraternity at the University but then he said that they were watching ‘me’.

“Watching me?” I thought. Wow! But, I was only a casual B grade player at best. I wasn’t anything special in tennis, I just enjoy all sports and used it as a form of cardio. Then, I thought that maybe they were admiring my physique and muscles (that I had been working very hard in the gym for). So, I started striking a few ‘body-building’ poses after every point won or lost. Alright girls, here is my ‘front double biceps’! I thought. It didn’t make sense though, the crowd were now clapping for me whether I won or lost the point.

Finally, I walked up to a girl I knew. As I approached her, I noticed a few other faces that I recognised in the large lecture theatre that we had our mathematics lectures in. What was happening, I thought?

I said hi to the girl–friend I knew and asked her what she was doing here watching and why was she and everyone else clapping for me. She then asked me if I had seen the examination results. I said, no. She then smiled and asked me for my i.d number and then said that I had the highest mark. Well, I wasn’t too surprised because I had had first place finishes many times throughout my Primary and Secondary school exams. It wasn’t very new to me.

Then, she said – “No, Paul, you didn’t just get the highest, you got FULL MARKS. You got One hundred per cent!”

Now, I was flabbergasted and shocked with this piece of news. In a 3 hour major calculus/algebra university exam, I got a PERFECT score. Not, 98%, not 99%, not 99.9% …. No, but 100%!

I had to go and see it to believe it.

Helping Chris close the gap between how he imagines himself to be and what he sees in the mirror.
Or in other words: Manifesting the ‘unfolding universe’ of his ‘enfolded’ invisible universe (what he imagines/dreams)

People who I didn’t know, were coming up to me to congratulate me on this achievement. Even the eventual Mathematics Gold Medallist came up to me to shake my hand and ask me how l did it. He only managed 92% and he got the second highest. It was so difficult that less than 20 people (my good friend had 82% and was one of these) out of the hundreds of candidates had greater than 80% (A grade). I told him I didn’t know how.

We were given back our marked exam papers in the lecture theatre. When they called out my name, I received even more applause. The lecturer said that in the history of the University and the history of the mathematics examination and faculty, nothing like this had ever happened. No one had ever got FULL MARKS. No one had got a PERFECT SCORE! But …

I DID. I mean, think about it … I didn’t even have a comma or a derivative mark wrong. It was the perfect exam paper.

If anyone asked me how I did it, even today, I still don’t know how. I honestly DO NOT KNOW HOW I DID IT. I do know, however, that I wasn’t myself in the two weeks leading up to the exam but was heightened during that particular 3 hours (whatever I was feeling ‘peaked’ at this point).

I know one thing: I wasn’t myself, I wasn’t ‘me’ as I knew it. “Me” was part of something greater.

I strongly believe today, that it wasn’t ‘me’ sitting that exam. I believe that I tapped in to consciousness and consciousness ‘worked through me’ to sit the perfect exam. It seemed that I knew the perfect answer to any mathematics question relating to that course. That is the only way I can explain it.

This was another example of when ‘me’ was not ‘me’.

What happened was a mathematical miracle at that time (and still has not been repeated since – a record that may stand the test of time). Like an Olympic record that has never been broken in decades. It was, as some may refer to it – an anomaly.

I won’t take credit for my performance in that exam. It was not ‘me’. I believe I was just a medium through which consciousness transmuted through. It is another story of when my ‘self’ was part of a larger Universal – SELF.

I was truly ONE WITH THE UNIVERSE.

I believe it comes in certain bursts. It is available to all of us. An avenue through heightened sense of awareness and enlightenment. I believe each individual has the potential to allow the transmutation of that energy via the energy-field that is all around us.

Each person just needs to prepare their SELF to facilitate this connection with the Universal Consciousness. Each individual need to develop their recognition tools/mechanism.

When you do, I believe you tap in to great ideas, great innovation, great creativity (that is already there in your subconscious).

You tap in to infinite intelligence.

Tap in to yours today and allow infinite intelligence ‘flow’ through you.

Whether you believe in miracles or not, try to comprehend that the unfolded universe is merely a physical manifestation of the ‘enfolded’ universe within YOU. If you accept that everything is connected with everything else, then, there’s no such thing as an “accident”. Nothing is ‘outside’ the universe. There is no such thing as a ‘miracle’. It is just a limitation of your perception of reality.

So, if everything is connected, it follows that you should watch your thoughts. Be fully aware of your beliefs. Why? Because the critical point in any complex system is that which the least power is required to alter the whole system, for example, a single move of a pawn on the chessboard completely changes the possibilities of the game.

Every detail of your beliefs and your belief system that you hold has consequences for better or for worse in the unfolded universe – in your reality. Work on changing your beliefs if they are not serving you as they did in the past. What served you when you were a child may not serve you now. Let those beliefs go. Be courageous to ‘let go’.

Work towards becoming more aware of the ‘real YOU’ in you and try keeping this formula in mind:

Do what you like to do best, and do it to the very best of your ability. You may just create something in the physical realm that may be referred to as a miracle…. but hopefully after reading this, you’re now questioning that thought pattern.

Until next time,

Manifesting the ‘unfolding universe’ in reality from the unfolded universe (invisible/imaginary).
What’s required to achieve “Peak Performance”?: the capacity to exhaustively utilize necessary experience combined with perseverance, courage, concentration, enormous drive and absolute integrity. TALENT ALONE IS NOT ENOUGH!
Everyone needs a little helping hand (or two) in the successful achievement of a worthwhile goal. VV

awareness, belief systems, Energy, life, Vitality

Life is about Energy Management, not Time Management.

The Best of the Best.
Phil Waugh – retired ex-Australian Wallaby & Warrahs Captain willing to embrace knowledge.
Increasing his awareness towards being the BEST HE IMAGINES HE CAN BE, using my framework.
An A+ Student!

All the way from my first year as an undergrad when I was 18, I have believed that life is about Energy Management, not Time Management. I never understood then and I still don’t know why people are still so obsessed with the concept of time management.

I mean, it does not matter how well planned your day is, you will always have an inbox full of outstanding ‘things to do’ or ‘someday things to do’. And the reason is, well, we all have just 86,400 seconds a day. Nothing more, nothing less.

Time is, after all a finite resource or at least our perception of it, is.

Where are you in your life, your career? Let me ask you a few questions and get you to answer them in your head – honestly. Do you –

Find yourself working 10 to 16 hour days
Sleep poorly and make no time for exercise or very little exercise
Find it difficult to eat healthy meals
Grab a bite ‘ on the run ‘ .ie., while working at your desk
Have less than adequate water every day because you are just ‘too busy’?

DO you find that the rising demands of your work requires you to put in longer hours? Does this never-ending increasing demands put extra stress and eventually take a toll on you – physically, mentally and emotionally? Individually, this is harmful.

Collectively, this is disastrous to an organization and the economy, Rising levels of sick leave; lower levels of engagement; high turnover rates and soaring medical costs, amongst other things. Very costly indeed.

In the Quantum world the Experimenter becomes part of the experiment.
That is the “hard problem” of the Quantum

Do you feel like you are pushing yourself so hard for longer periods of time that you’re almost at breaking point? I think a lot of today’s modern working culture encourages this, and it isn’t getting any better.

Well, the answer does not lie in better ‘time management’ techniques. No, like I said, time is a finite source. I’ve always believed the key to life is ‘Energy Management’. Because Energy is everywhere and everything, as Einstein summarised in his famous formula E=MC2. We’re all a ‘ball of energy’ or as I would sometime refer to each of us as ‘balls of consciousness’.

By focusing on self (and getting our ball of consciousness operating at optimal levels) we can communicate and tap in to the ball of energy out there – the UNIVERSE. That is, if we desire to reach our true potential in the one life that we have.

Energy in Physics can be defined as the potential for Work. Energy comes from several sources but I believe when the body, mind, spirit and heart are in ‘balance & fluid/symmetrical’, you move closer to your BEST SELF.

This partly defines what True Beauty is in my eyes.

When you keep your body, heart (emotions) and spirit in balance you find harmony in your mind. This harmony effectively energizes recharges individuals. I have helped hundreds of individuals through my programs and one of the most common pieces of almost immediate feedback I receive is their increase in energy levels and overall zest for life. My programs infuse people with the ‘essence of life’ infused with VITALITY!

High School and College students start getting top grades they never used to get; adults performance at work and other areas dramatically improve; they stress less and get more done.

This is where rituals are very important to maximising your energy potential every day. Within my framework, I get my students to religiously practise certain rituals every day. Rituals that involve key habits that are aligned with the achievement of their goals. A critical component of energy optimization is working your muscles the way its meant to be worked: with weights.

With an independent survey of all my students over the last 10 years that have gone through my programs showing that over 84% achieved or more of the results they set out for. A significant contribution to these students successfully achieving their goals and results is their increase of and management of their energy.

Sufficient and appropriate daily rituals are paramount for optimal energy levels all day, every day. I have concluded that these rituals (or habits performed deliberately at specific times, religiously) that I have identified and recommended for them is a critical component of each student’s energy expansion or increasing ‘slice of vitality’ in their daily lives.

These habits don’t have to be over the top. They are simply the ‘little mosquitoes’ in their lives. It could be as simple as are you having adequate levels of water each day? If not, try consciously drinking targeted daily water intake. Maybe, start going to sleep a little earlier and so getting more rest each night.

Try it. These small changes have a huge impact on energy and helped my students. Try it, it will help you too. You’ll see what I mean. You will start to feel infused with a certain level of energy you didn’t have access to before.

You will have more capacity or more potential, more energized!

Like an FM station, just one point off gives you an irritating “shhhh…”

I have being saying for over two decades now that Energy is key to a fruitful life. It is the key to everything. Yes, it is very important to invest in skills and knowledge and raise one’s competence in the work force but pales in comparison to better personal Energy Management in the long term.

You see, it’s like your mobile phone battery, it only has a few hours before it needs to be charged again. It cannot perform at maximum performance for too long. One will need to recharge it again. So, every individual I believe, should be more concerned in investing time in their energy potential or capacity and sustain it.

This is taken for granted in today’s world. A winning F-1 driver has scheduled ‘pit-stops’ to recharge, re-oil and get worked on by his team of engineers to sustain his and his car’s energy capacity for the duration of the race. Every person should look at their lives in this manner when it comes to their energy management and sustainability over the duration of their lives.

This is very important for both the long term and the short term. Wouldn’t I be correct by saying that greater potential or capacity increases chances of getting more done in less time and with higher levels of focus or engagement in a task? You know it makes sense.

I have witnessed this positive change built and sustained in the hundreds of students who have gone through my programs over the last two decades.

Like I said – the body does not lie.

To this end, because of our increasingly ‘busy’ days, people have increasingly lost their intuitive ability to ‘listen’ to the signs their body is crying out to them for help. Signals like drinking water; difficulties in resting (feeling restless), hunger and the ability to FOCUS!

Transmutation of Energy via a complementary style.
Photo; Retired Legend of Rugby, Ex-Australian Wallaby & Waratah Captain – Phil Waugh fully focused on task he has his both hands on.
Set your standards!

Many people ignore these signals or simply no longer have the ability to recognise them. You don’t use them – you lose them. Just like your muscles and your brain cells!

Not acting on these signals has consequences. The consequence in the short-term is that your energy source or potential burns less as the day progresses. In the long-term, it could mean a shorter life or less than optimal 2^nd half of your remaining life now.

I know in today’s world, where ‘being the busiest’ seems to be an Olympic Sport for workers, suggesting the implementation of some of the habits on a daily basis is counter-intuitive for high achievers. Or, recharging your batteries by taking a short nap could be considered insane. But, is it really?

I believe otherwise.

It makes perfect sense. It makes high-achievers even more productive. It makes everyone who are willing to make these little changes, a super-version of themselves. Act today, don’t leave it for tomorrow. Your life depends on it!

Tesla, Einstein’s hero was so “in-tune” with the Energy & understood HOW to harness that Power energy

Taking intermittent breaks (like a F-1 driver), for example, during the day should result in higher performance and more sustainability. Quality breaks, not quantity should be the goal here. I have seen people sleep for over 10 hours per day and still seem more restless after all the rest. Quality should be the focus if you are to help build and sustain your energy reserves.

I will talk about emotional and spiritual energy management in future blogs. For now, just know that if you take better care of your Energies (the only true thing you can control), the more closer you get to fulfilling your true potential.

I have seen them, so perhaps have you – people who love life. With bright eyes, taut skins, and great smiles. They look as if they have been newly minted.

How do they do it?

Partly through respect for self – respect for the bodies, minds and deeds. You see, Vitality does not seem to be as objective as weight loss, exercise, diet etc. It is more subjective. It seems to ‘come from within’ rather than achieved through outwardly efforts.

When you find one of those people, with that glow, ask them their secret. Then, contact me please and tell me all about it. If a few readers of this blog do this, we may be able to deduce the magic formula worth more than a rainbow’s pot of gold.

Become part of this search today.

And don’t let the life get sucked out of you before your time is up on this earth. Infuse your self, your being, with vitality through better energy management for life – in the short term and the long-term. Build muscle. Infuse yourself with vitality. Do you very best to preserve it. After all, Life is like muscle. Then …

.. Share your vitality and gifts with the people you care about most in the world.

Life is about Energy Management, not Time Management.

Best of VITALITY TO YOU and your family!

Until next time,

Einstein knew & understood the interconnectedness/synergy between Energy.
E = mC2
Simply put : all matter (visible & invisible is Energy)
I believe the “essence of life” is the ability to manage energy or Transmute Energy within & without YOU

All photos taken by: Robert Walsh of Robert Walsh Photography. Visit: “www.robertwalsh.com.au” for more information on how he may be able to help you with your photography needs.

adaptation, ageing, awareness, belief systems, change, choices, courage

Be what you are.

The Best of the Best.
Phil Waugh – retired ex-Australian Wallaby & Waratahs Captain willing to embrace knowledge.
Increasing his awareness towards being the BEST HE IMAGINES HE CAN BE, using my framework.
An A+ Student!

Knowing when it is time to ‘move on’ is very important.

Recognizing the various stages in your life is very important. Doing the right things at the right stages of life is important too. What’s key is that we need to be aware of these phases, take sufficient and appropriate action and adapt accordingly.

We all have experience of this already as it is beyond our control – baby to toddler; toddler to a young boy or girl; early teens and then late teens; the trying twenties and then the thirties and then middle-age. And it goes on … until you die.

I would like to talk about the change we have some control over. Most of the time it can be a very difficult time. You will experience emotional hurt and pain and more than likely, your actions may hurt others too. There is hurt and sorrow in the short-term but it is better for everyone in the long term.

There was a time in my life when I was doing group aerobics/body pump instructing and aquarobics instructing – back in the mid-90s, during my undergraduate years. I enjoyed helping the thousands of people that I saw over the four years and I was very good at it.

I could have continued and opened up my own franchises but I didn’t. Circumstances and philosophy on life changes and you find yourself saying “now, that’s enough of that”. A person’s philosophy is like the set of a sail on a ship he is captaining.

That was one short but important phase of my life. I felt that it was time to move on. And I did, with my first undergrad degree in hand, seeking work experience in a different field for a while.

But, letting go can be difficult. Matter of fact, it is probably one of the most difficult things we humans can endure in our life-time. Letting go of our bad experiences in our past; letting go of anger; letting go of guilt; letting go of friends and so forth.

It takes a lot of energy and courage to let go and to … move on.

Have you ever felt that way?

Have you ever felt that it was time to move on from a phase of life; a job maybe or even a career? Or have you ever felt that it was time to move on from a business relationship or friendship?

Recognizing these ‘moments’ and listening to your ‘inner-voice’ of reason and hard facts to tell you that it is time to move on is very important to your contentment in life.

A lot of people don’t move on for fear of the unknown. Fear holds people back like an anchor for a ship. Familiarity also keeps people from new adventures. But, not trying something new, not venturing in to unchartered territory as you sail your ship through life could result in you missing out on possible opportunities that may lie ahead in a different path.

Sometimes, opportunities come clothed in an overcoat.

Don’t let your ship be controlled by the changing currents of the seas. If you don’t make the change, someone else will. They say that a person’s philosophy is a major determining factor in how a person’s life turns out.

You could conclude if you desire to change your life for the better, you need to change your philosophy.

Re-set your sails and cut through the changing currents you face as you captain your ship through the sea of life. I suppose I would feel that way about a lot of things in life. If I feel that the activity doesn’t interest me or have an element of ‘freshness’ in it, I move away from it. Some people choose not to, but I believe it is very healthy for one to do so.

I move on from it.

Retired Ex-Australian Wallaby & Waratah’s Captain – Phil Waugh doing triceps press-downs and “feeling the essence” with perfectly performed repetitions.
A great example of a human being striving to be the BEST he can be – for himself, first and then, everyone else. All day. Every day.

Take your profession seriously but don’t take yourself too seriously. I think a lot of people make this rather childish mistake – taking themselves too seriously.

A long time ago, a wise man once told me at his birthday party not to take myself too seriously. He said that in the whole scope of life, the little things that go wrong and that you might stress about don’t really matter a whole lot.

Wise man. I agree.

The little things you stress about – for example, being late for an important meeting or missing a deadline or looking like a fool at the company’s Christmas party or missing out on a job – is minute in relation to the whole circus act out there, out there in life.

Meaning: You only really matter to a certain degree – so don’t take yourself too seriously in the process of various stages or projects/activities you undertake in your life.

That is life. That is as good as life gets…. So far (as Homer Simpson would say)!

If you take yourself too seriously, you will anchor yourself and won’t be able to move forward. You don’t help yourself and you can’t serve people any better. You would not be much help to society either. So, do yourself and everyone a favour and ‘lighten up’!

If you believe in you and your abilities. If you believe that change is inevitable, that change is good. If you believe that change is necessary then you will agree that the whole of life is a series of change and if you’re not changing, you’re not living.

The key ingredient is to work on improving your CHANGE MANAGEMENT skills.

If you’re confident enough in the way you feel, and in your abilities, whether it’s in an art form or whether it’s just your line of work, it comes off! You will always find a way to succeed.

Therein lies your hidden treasure: Confidence.

You don’t have anything to prove; you can just be what you are.

As another wise man also said: Besides, Everyone else is taken.

Until next time,

Fully focused!
A true warrior & champion.
Focusing on making every repetition of every set of every exercise as ideal as possible.
Practise does not make perfect – Perfect practise makes perfect!
Photo: Retired Champion Ex-Australian Wallaby & Waratahs Captain and player in action under my watchful eyes.

~~Life COACH~~

action, adaptation, awareness, belief systems, Beliefs, change, choices, courage, Energy, game of life, Imagination, life, long-term strategy, perspective, planning, respect, self-image, you

Real Love for The Real Man.

Every man needs to wake and release the 'champion' within him. Let it loose. Let it fly. Let it go. In his own way.

Every man needs to wake and release the ‘champion’ within him. Let it loose. Let it fly with wings. Let it go and serve others … In his own way.

I mentioned in my previous blog “The Simple-Complex Man”, it is without doubt that being a father is difficult in today’s world but, I believe, being a man – a ‘Real Man’ is more difficult.

Look around us and the avalanche of images and messages that bombards us, every day, of what a Real Man is. In Australia and most of the developed world, it is heavily communicated in stereotypes in beer ads or car commercials. A lot of these stereotypes I find, conflicts with what most men out there think of themselves.

There are a lot of great men out there but many of them are confused. Confused of what it means to be a REAL MAN. Let me elaborate …

You see, from my experience in helping hundreds of men in gyms over the last two decades, a lot of men are so much more than what these narrow stereotypes convey. Really shallow stereotypes actually. What is even more concerning is the various messages of ‘love’ and what love means to a ‘Real Man’. The majority buy in to these stereotypes and meet disappointment in life – sooner or later.

Very sad indeed.

Like I said, it is very difficult for a lot of men out there. A lot of men who don’t know what it means to be a Real Man.

I must admit that I do not know the full answer but I do think that a big part of being a Real Man is that he is AUTHENTIC.

We learn many definitions of ‘love’ and we can think of many examples of what it is. Some think it is impossible to understand or define. Fair enough. It does not, however, mean we should not try to understand it.

You see, as I see it, for all you men reading this, “Love” for a Real Man is simply this: Action. Remember that saying “action speaks louder than words?”. Well, I think certain elements apply here.

There’s also another definition and for you Christians reading this – a Real Man will love a woman the way the Bible says it to. I think even the most militant feminist would not dispute a love like THAT!

I believe if every man out there just has one goal and that is: to be the BEST MAN HE CAN BE. For himself, FIRST and then for everyone else. And, when he leaves this world for the other world, he might just come close enough to be a REAL MAN.

From my interaction with men of all ages over the last two decades, I have deduced that Real Men have a few common traits –

He treats his wife RIGHT (in all areas of life).
He is a SERVANT rather than a MASTER ( I would like to think my wife and I are Co-CEOs)
He will do the RIGHT THING (doing the right thing is quite different to do what he has the RIGHT to do. Everything he does, he DOES WITH 100%. Why? Because nothing else would measure up).

So, how are you faring with the above traits (they are by no means exhaustive but are 3 that first come to my mind, deduced from my large sample of men over the last two decades)? Are you a Real Man? When can you call yourself a Real Man?

Well, let’s keep it simple. As I see it, there is only one way: become a BETTER SERVANT. Even the great Mother Theresa said that we need to serve ’til it hurts. I think this should be every man’s motto for his love for his woman. Yes, all REAL MEN seek to SERVE. Keep giving of yourself to your woman. To give is to serve.

If you’re a christian, then just like Jesus Christ, our saviour served his beloved followers. All GREAT MEN seek to SERVE.

This can be quite difficult to accept because most of today’s men are told the opposite with all the unfiltered messages being absorbed in to their minds, their ‘thought factories’. These unfiltered messages tell these men that they should grow up and find a gorgeous wife who will take care of his needs.

He then spends his entire existence seeking out that someone, he is brainwashed in to believing that she will bring him happiness because she will SERVE HIM. In return for this fulfilment of his distorted delusions of what life and love is and what it means to be a Real Man, he is made King of his Castle!

Yes, he works very hard. It’s the ‘manly’ thing to do, after-all he is told. He works very hard and gives her everything HE THINKS SHE WANTS.

But is that really what the woman wants? I beg to differ.

I have helped many men and women transition through very painful separations and divorces over the years and have felt the pain with them. It is very difficult for all parties involved. What I have noticed was that a lot of these women did get everything (from a material sense) that money could buy. A lot of these women had men who bought them everything THEY THOUGHT THEIR WIVES WANTED.

Costly mistake. I am appealing to all men reading this and all men out there to not make this mistake, like so many men have made before you.

What I found was that most of these women were miserable. Why? The reason I am about to tell you is something people don’t seem to talk about and may surprise some of you readers but I think it is one of the major factors in the consistently high divorce rates in society. Men reading this, I think the one very strong contributing factor that made these women miserable was that they were permanently PUT IN SECOND PLACE!

Not fair at all.

No one likes being in SECOND PLACE in anything for too long. Believe me, I know what it is like because I came 2^nd in the Australian Natural Body-building Championships in three separate occasions. Came so close, within a whisker … but to no avail.

Very dis-heartening and demoralising.

So, what I have found is that by the time I help these men and women during these painful transitions, most of these men do not fully understand what went wrong. A lot of these men are a little confused and I don’t blame them.

They are confused because they cannot ‘see’ how they have put their woman 2^nd all along. But by the time I see them, it is too late. These men just cannot put their woman first.

These men cannot because it goes against every fibre of their being. It goes against everything that they have been taught in all the messages society has pumped in to him from early child-hood. From within his family, his neighbours, his schools, his friends, his extended families and all the advertising messages and shows.

It surrounds him and blinds him. Chokes him. The Real Man is chained within, as he suffers silently. Like so many men in today’s world do. Suffer in silence with inconsistent definitions of what a Real Man is. His whole belief-system is distorted and he has been following blindly.

He cannot be blamed for total responsibility for this, if everything, everyone and his whole world is telling him that the distorted definition of Real Love is what it is. The world has inverted whatever that was made perfect by God. That of the real definition of love for a Real Man.

And do you know what the imitation is? Do you want to know what the counterfeit is dear readers? Do you know what the substitute is (just like there is for almost all genuine products out there)?

It is this: LUST.

It is everywhere and this is one of the many reasons I believe it is very difficult just to be A MAN in today’s world. Just like all non-genuine, unauthentic, imitation products and parts you buy – LUST can be cheaper, looks good and is just like the REAL DEAL. It can be very satisfying and bring excitement in to your life for a little while.

But, it is NOT TRUE LOVE!

You see – Lust, takes. Love, gives.

Lust is all about you, your selfish desires – your need to be the MASTER. Love puts your woman’s desires FIRST. Love puts SERVICE to your woman at the top of your ‘TO DO’ list.

Lust takes – for your selfish benefit. Love GIVES, for the one we love. This GIVING MUSCLE keeps growing if you feed and train it right. Strive to become a Real Man. All day. Every day. For the rest of your life on this earth.

Search for Real Love. Curb your enthusiasm for lust.

Lust is temporary, it will perish. Love is forever – in this lifetime and infinity. Even though you will return to dirt when you die, your soul – your spirit, your consciousness, will remain in the universe for all eternity. Your love will keep GIVING and you will be fulfilled beyond your desires.

… knowing that you were a REAL MAN while you were breathing and walked this earth. That you truly loved. That you were truly a servant to her – that you genuinely SERVED.

Those that you leave behind will have memories of this man. This version of a man that …. Went against the grain and was a … Real Man. To all Men reading this, I leave you this last message:

Be your AUTHENTIC-SELF. Tell the TRUTH. DO and BE YOUR BEST – ALWAYS. Take care OF YOUR FAMILY. RESPECT YOU – RESPECT OTHERS. Never stop DREAMING. Follow your DREAMS.

Until next time,

Connecting the dots through ‘mind-muscle’ communication via the nervous system strengthening.
Hold!

~~Life COACH~~

All photos taken by Robert Walsh Photography. Visit “www.robertwalsh.com.au” for an authentic artist. A true professional. A lovely human-being that is Robert. Vv.

awareness, Beliefs, dads, dads love, daughters, Energy, faith, game of life, hope, life, respect, you

Daddies … and Daughters.

My beautiful daughter and I enjoying “Daddy-daughter time” on the Ferris Wheel at Luna Park in amazing Sydney, Australia.

I love my daughter. I would give my life for her.

I am sure most dads would do this for their daughter, too. But, we hope we never have to.

We have built a great relationship so far in her life and we enjoy our weekly “Daddy-daughter Day” time together, where there is no one else but her and I. We share each other’s company for part of a day. We just hang out. Sometimes, we say a lot, sometimes we don’t.

I cherish these moments.

I know I will miss these moments when she is all grown up and embracing her journey through adulthood. I hope it will take up a little special place in her memories of her time with me in time to come. I am looking forward to making more memories with her.

I am sure most, if not all the dads reading this and around the world have their own special relationship with their daughter(s). What a special gift it is to have.

My daughter and I.
I cherish every moment I have with her.
She allows me to be Mr Vulnerable too.
Vv.

We all know that girls, as well as boys, can go ‘off-track’ in later years, without the right guidance at home. What a responsibility it is for us, parents. I believe it is probably the most important investment, apart from education, that we are blessed to have in our lives.

The best counselling services in the best institutions and schools seldom make up for a lack of guidance from a present, and good father and mother. Some families tackle this responsibility singularly (single-parent families) and I take my hat off to them as I think it is a little easier tackling this huge responsibility as a team.

A father and mother team.

I have learned (from my experience with my daughter and from what I have learned from the hundreds of parents I have met and helped over the last 20 years) that daughters want you be the Chief Executive Officer (CEO) of the household on some matters only. All the other matters rests with the other co-CEO – her mother.

I believe it is important that daughters observe in her mother a wise, intelligent, caring woman who loves you, respects and can talk to you about all the important issues in the family. She needs to find comfort in a woman’s kind of wisdom and courage and patience in her mother …. That only a mother who tries, can provide.

I am blessed that my daughter’s mother, my beautiful wife – Cathy, is all this and much, much more. My daughter is blessed to have a mother like her, the woman I chose to spend the rest of my life with. Makes me very blessed too.

I have 2/16th Maori blood.
A touch of Polynesian-ness with flowers and necklaces brings smiles to the heart.
Here’s my one and only gritty Warrior Viking Pirate Princess

However, this blog is about daddies …. and daughters. What does she want to see in you – her dad? Well, I think your daughter would want to see in you an intelligent man’s viewpoint about life plus the ability to share the leading role of the household, with her mother in a life-affirming way. A fatherly way that is the essence for you.

Then, she can learn to love you as her father as well as a fine man … a fine, gentleman.

Dads reading this, remember – YOU ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT MAN IN HER YOUNG LIFE. I believe she ought to build her life according to what she sees in yours, or at the very least, give her a skeleton of a framework for her to build on (or subtract from). This can be done in a few areas:

Your wisdom – to withhold judgement until you have gathered all the facts, with emphasis on patience (which is lacking in the world today).
Your kindness – and care towards others who have not been able to get along in life due to no real fault of their own.
Your ability to forgive – those who have done wrong, seeing this forgiving energy flow freely without the need to hold grudges. She needs to see you rise to a higher consciousness level.
Your courage – to face seemingly impossible odds and the power of your belief and unwavering faith.
Your uncommon sense – uncommon because ‘common sense’ does not seem common any more. It is an hybrid of all these traits and more.

All these facets of being a dad rests with you, it rests in you. No one else can demonstrate this any better than you can. You need to show this in your actions. If, and this is a big if, IF you put your mind to it and you give it a go.

My children striking their version of one of the seven compulsory poses in bodybuilding – the “Front-double biceps” pose.
… and strike!

Her mother can show her all the traits of a fine woman and she can replicate it for her young adult life but you, the father, the daddy, is the proto-type of what her ‘man’ is.

Your example of what a good man is like, will be priceless to her …. Even if you sing off tune in the car every now and then or have the accidental fart leak out that would make even skunks run for air.

Tell her when you make a mistake, that every good superhero is a little flawed. Tell her that you are a flawed superhero and that you learn from your mistakes. Tell her that you grow the most through your mistakes, your failures. Show her how not to fear, failure. Tell her that you succeed through failure. Tell her that you’re a constant ‘work-in-progress’ but that you will always do and be YOUR BEST for her.

Just because you love her.

Being a good dad is fun. Being a great dad is a challenge. Being a dad is a blessing. Do the very best you can … and cherish those “daddy … daughter” moments.

It’s these moments that you will take with you in to the next realm when you depart this life. Your soul will carry it away … when you’re gone, but you can hope that these moments will remain in the heart and memories of your daughter(s).

That hopefully, will remind her (when everyone else forgets), that you were once here and walked this planet with her.

Until next time,

Zachary and Olivia with their good friend – Ruby. They just adore one another.

Does your daughter think you’re her hero 🦸‍♂️?

Changing lives. Empowering people. One life at a time.

Triple A to Life: Awareness. Action. Adaptation.

Tag Archives: life

Unique WAYS.

The beauty of truth.

Equal friendship.

Simplify to Amplify.

Intimacy Awards please.

Do you believe in miracles?

Life is about Energy Management, not Time Management.

Be what you are.

Real Love for The Real Man.

Daddies … and Daughters.