Author Archives: valentinevitality

adaptation, awareness, belief systems, Beliefs, change, courage

Nobody can teach you WHO YOU ARE.

Who are you?

Yes, who are YOU?

Have you asked yourself that question? Yes, maybe once, twice, countless times or maybe never.

From when we are children, most of us have already been asked the question about “what we want to become”.

Right from a young age most of us have had the question fired at us. “Son/daughter what do you want to become when you’re older – a doctor, a lawyer, a fireman, an engineer, a carpenter … ?”

Most of us are brought up in a culture that tells us “you are what you do.”

In my 23 years in the gym and talking to thousands of people, I have found that when people are asked “tell me about yourself”, most people immediately talk about their career as if it was the ‘be all and end all’ about them. A complete definition of ‘who and what they are.’

I think there should be a clear distinction between who the person is and the activity they perform as part of their ‘job’. We’re all just individuals and we’re all doing something. But that something should not define who we are. That is only a small part of who we are, who YOU ARE.

It is important that you never forget that YOU are more important than what you do.

Always.

Keep working towards discovering the REAL YOU. Not the YOU that your career defines you as or the YOU that you work very hard to fulfil others’ perceptions of you. Find the real YOU. That is a journey indeed. A journey in to the heart of darkness as the great author Joseph Conrad described so eloquently.

You need to constantly build on the first ‘A” of my Triple A Approach to Life and Whole-self development and that is to increase ‘Awareness’. Awareness of no one else but YOU, of your SELF. I believe that this is the first step towards any worthwhile, sustainable personal development – to be more aware.

You will find that the more aware you become, more and more of your problems and most of the stress in your life will dissolve too. But, there is a price to pay to develop this awareness. A great thinker once said that “Awareness, in and of itself, is transformative.” This is almost spiritual-like, as you ‘clean up your own act you find that you build a profound effect on the world around you.

You see, there is a connection – a definite nexus between ‘what you do inside and what happens in your life’ and when you work on increasing your awareness, you are forced to consider and question your belief system and various beliefs that comprise it. Some of which had been adopted by you as a choice or without a choice when you were growing up. These beliefs helped form your perception of reality. Your version of ‘the truth’. You kept these beliefs because in kept you safe in your family while growing up.

But times change. You grow up. Those beliefs which influence the way you feel and behave attract certain situations and people in to your life and what situations and people you become attracted to. So, it follows that what you BELIEVE generates most of what happens in your life. When you work at increasing your awareness of YOU, you will come to this conclusion too.

So, my point is this, by increasing your awareness, you will question certain beliefs that may have served you well when you were a kid up until you were 10 years old but does not serve your purposes now, TODAY. It kept you safe or you felt a sense of security when you hung on to these beliefs in your family when you were child.

Here’s the thing, I have found that with increased awareness, you are able to LET GO certain beliefs but you have got to be brave to do so because it is difficult. Matter of fact it is one of the scariest things to do if you’re not used to it. Letting go a belief takes a lot of courage and you have to summon up the courage to do it if you are serious about getting the best out of your life.

“Why?” you may be asking, “should we LET GO these beliefs?”

Well, its simple: because you CANNOT keep believing something that DOES NOT serve you! That is one possible definition of insanity.

But don’t rush it. We’re all at different levels of awareness so go easy on yourself. It takes some time and practice to get good at it, just like anything else, for example we’re all at different levels in our training in the gym when it comes to lifting weights and building muscle.

So, if you accept that what you believe generates most of what happens in your life, and if you don’t like attracting the same kinds of situations or people in to your life then you have got to let go of those ‘self-limiting beliefs’ that are holding you back.

A lot of the price you have to pay to create your new perception of reality is: YOUR ATTITUDE and you are 100% totally responsible for that, aren’t you?

There is no doubt that what you pay attention to determines a lot of what happens in your life. True indeed. So, with an attitude of gratitude make a decision to pay attention to or FOCUS on what you want from life, not what you don’t want.

When I was in my teens , I saw the world with a different philosophy to the way I see the world in my twenties and it was different still in my thirties. My picture of the world and my definition of truth has changed considerably. The ‘truth’ as we see it is really our version of the world based on our beliefs and belief systems.

They, however, don’t necessarily have anything TO DO WITH THE TRUTH. They are versions of the truth. Not absolute truth, only relative truth.

Therefore, if truth is relative and does not have 100% certainty, DO NOT FEAR letting go self-limiting beliefs – beliefs that DO NOT SERVE YOU well, anymore. Accept that if ‘the truth’ changes and is dynamic, not static then there is no need to remain RIGID in your beliefs that feed the truth.

There are not many certainties in life but one thing I know with a high degree of certainty is that EVERYTHING CHANGES.

Everything!

So go with the flow and so be like water and be fluid and flexible with your beliefs and find the REAL YOU, who you ARE, what your real needs are (as opposed to the things you just want) and when you are living according to your REAL needs (somewhat achieved through spiritual growth).

That is probably a point where you will teach yourself more of WHO YOU ARE.

Nobody, I repeat – NOBODY can teach you who you are …. But the REAL YOU!

All the best in your decision.

Until next time,

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action, adaptation, ageing, life

Give ‘The Finger’ and feel good about it.

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It was only yesterday that I had to GIVE ‘the finger’. And I felt good about it.

You must be thinking, “gee Paul, isn’t that a bit vulgar?!”

Well, you’re entitled to think what you want to think, but before you form an opinion, read a little further.

I give ‘the finger’ at least once a week here in Sydney and it gives me a sense of gratitude when I do. For me, this gesture that involves “the finger” is just one of the many ways, however small it is, to GIVE.

Yes, you read right – to GIVE. I really feel great when I give ‘the finger!’.

Let me elaborate…

Olivia and I were on our way home from our ‘Daddy-daughter’ excursion yesterday. As we turned off the main road, I slowed the car as I saw an elderly lady on the curb wishing to cross.

I came to a complete stop, looked up at the lady as I raised ‘the finger’ (my index finger) and she smiled at me.

The finger was raised (some of you probably raise the hand) with a little nod of the head and a responsive smile, acknowledging her and giving her right of way to cross the road. The elderly lady slowly made her way, moving her aged frame, step by step past the front of the car. I studied her movements and tried to ‘feel’ the discomfort she was feeling as she walked.

My observations told me that she obviously had postural issues that impacted on her ease of mobility (in this case, simply walking). It appeared she had excessive scoliosis and her gate was severely limited. And the expression on her face gave me some idea of the pain she was experiencing each step she took.

But I wondered, no I am certain she wasn’t always like this. She once was walking straighter, bouncing around full of vitality and walking as if there wasn’t a care in the world. When she was younger …. Part of HER STORY.

Everyone has a story. She is writing hers as you are the author of yours.

It makes me think about the millions of other aged persons in the world who experience unwanted discomfort in carrying out the most basic of tasks like walking, every single day. Not a nice way to live out the remainder of their lives.

It is a slippery slope for a lot of older men and women from a physical stand-point. For all of us actually as we are constantly ageing.

Fewer skeletal muscles due to atrophy and lack of muscle-use compounds the difficulties experienced in mobility (refer to my previous blog for top 3 pointers to get started).

But the thing is – physical pain is not the worst part!

No, I believe it is the mental, spiritual and emotional pain.

The lack of mobility leads to the worst problem: the persons’ deteriorating ‘sense of self’ and ‘self-worth’ and ‘self-image’. Now this is where the risk is highest. An exaggerated view of the lack of the above issues can cause an accelerated journey towards the grave. Why? Because I think they lose their dignity. Nobody likes to lose their sense of dignity… and should not be allowed to.

Nobody. Every person has a STORY.

Remember: it is never too late to start a weight-bearing exercise program. Never too late, no matter how old you are and how out of condition you are in.

Start. Today. Start – Now!

Two or three times per week. Put yourself in that old lady’s shoes. Seize life by the horns and take back control of your state of mind to lead you towards building muscles. Take back control of your body. Your spirit. Take care of your WHOLE – SELF.

Think about it.

Build this anti-ageing magical essence (muscle) and EMPOWER the most important person in the world to you: YOU. You have the power in your hands now to partially help your state of dignity in old age. Put those weights in your hands and lift. Lift as if your life depended on it!

The sad thing is that IT DOES. The quality of your last 20 years of your life in old age depends on the available muscle you have. Do yourself that favour before it is too late.

Back to my drive with Olivia ….

As the old lady approaches the other side of the road she looks back, produces a thankful smile and GIVES me ‘the finger’ too.

I was grateful for that gesture. I gave respect and she returned it. Thank you.

I smile again in response and say a little prayer for her as I stepped on the accelerator and drive off home with a sense of gratitude but also a sense of sadness too.

A sadness in my heart for the pain and discomfort that that lady and many aged persons like her in the world experience every single day, slowly eating away at their dignity and quality of life.

The scary thing is that these ‘aged-related illnesses’ are increasingly affecting younger generations today, but I will leave that observation for a future blog.

If there is one gift you could buy yourself or your mum/dad or grandparents that could have the biggest impact on a life – buy them a gym membership and get them help to empower themselves (physically). That could turn out to be the most important gift you may ever buy for you or your loved ones.

Everyone now, all raise ‘the finger’ to yourself in the mirror and just DO IT! Remind yourself about what “the finger” represents – respect. Respect to YOU.

“Do what? “, I hear you say.

I say: “Build, protect and preserve your muscles. It WILL serve you well in the years ahead.”

All the best in your decision.

Until next time,

Side Triceps. Australian Natural Bodybuilding Championships. Lost by 2 points. Final placing: Runner-up.

Side Triceps.
Australian Natural Bodybuilding Championships.
Lost by 2 points.
Final placing: Runner-up.

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action, ageing, awareness, body, diet, eating, life

Muscle: the REAL potion of youth.

B&W3284

Remember this: the older you get, the more important muscle becomes.

Believe me, I have seen the anti-ageing effects of continuous muscle-training in all ages, particularly the aged. Muscle is the real potion of youth, the real anti-ageing substance.

It is very important that you factor this in to your life now: build muscle and preserve it with everything you have got. You don’t need to look try to build so much muscle to try to look like Arnold Schwarzenegger when he was younger or the current Mr Olympia, nor do you need to look like Ms Figure Olympia either.

However, the more muscle you have and keep will lower the risk that your last 20 years of your life isn’t the most unpleasant experience of your life.

It is your ‘preventative insurance’ for the quality of life you will have in the last quarter of your life.

Plan now. Act now.

If you’ve noticed, most of today’s messages in the health industry focuses on us doing everything we can to reduce our risks of heart attack other heart-related illnesses and the benefits in the short-term (ie. Weight-loss, muscle building etc). Well and good.

But it is the long-term that we should all be focused on. Don’t get me wrong, these messages are important but I believe they lose their relevance as we move in to the second half of our lives, particularly after 60 years. I have concluded this in my observations of men and women past 50 years in the gym over the last 23 years.

As we move through our 50s and then 60s, one of our main focuses in life is about thwarting the natural progression of ageing towards, which is ‘slowing down’. When the body ‘slows down’, it fundamentally means that the body’s systems won’t work as well as they once did, and you don’t have to look very far to observe examples of this. Look at your own family or extended family. Are your perceptions of your older parents and grandparents changed? Are they showing symptoms of ageing already? What about you?

This is where your ‘muscles’ are able to assist you. But first you have to be willing to help them.

The deterioration of self, due to ageing is inevitable and some ‘rust’ will form and illness can set you back. However, the potion of youth – your muscles can ‘off-set’ the on-set of ageing. Specifically, it is what you eat and do to support them that can slow down the deterioration rate (like the depreciation rate of a car).

This, my friends, is the ultimate benefit of all those hours of sweating with the weights in the gym – it is more of a long term strategy, like superannuation. You will have the POWER to make the most of the 20 or 30 or so years ahead.

Why?

Well, people use to ‘kick-the-bucket’ naturally much younger in the recent past. Now, medical advances has meant we are living much longer than our forefathers did. Living longer is important but it is not the most important thing. Why would you want to live out the rest of your life not being able to carry out normal daily activities pain-free. I think it is more important to make the most of the extra 20 to 30 years.

This, however, is dependent on you finding ways to keep your body (especially your muscles) and brain going.

From what I have deduced from helping hundreds of elderly people in the gym over the last 20 + years is: that the key to living long and having a quality life after 60 is not just to avoid illnesses. No, the key is mostly – your muscles.

Yes, your muscles!

They do more than just move you around and ‘flex’ and extend when you need them to. They hold the keys to your anti-ageing formula but the important thing to remember is your muscles are more vulnerable than you think. If you don’t already know, apart from the aesthetic benefits of muscle, it does much more for you. After water, protein is the 2nd most abundant substance in your body and protein is the building blocks of your precious potion: muscles.

Muscle helps every one of your body’s cells and organs. It helps reduce your risk of type 2 diabetes and ensures that your brain gets the fuel it needs to function optimally to ensure that the body’s functions operates optimally too.

So, if your body is to have any chance at all of enduring the retirement plans you’ve made for the years ahead, it needs your help. NOW.

You need to treat the investment you make in your muscles now and in to your old age as you would your financial security in old age.

How, you may be asking yourself?

Here are my top pointers:

  1. Ensure you consume adequate daily protein levels.
    1. I have concluded that most adults consume less than adequate levels of daily protein for their age and lifestyles. Understand this, just like a car, your body amasses normal wear and tear as the years pile up. Your body needs protein for repair and muscle re-building. You need more of some things when you’re older than you did when you were younger and PROTEIN is one of them.
  2. Your muscles have memory and need a re-minder
    1. We all need some reminder in life that we are ‘needed’ and the same goes for muscles. You have muscles everywhere and it is vital that you focus on working your ‘whole body’ when you train with weighted resistance.
  3. Design a program that includes: resistance training, relevant cardio exercises and flexibility and balance routines to help stave off the debilitating effects of ageing.

It is vital that you remember that your immune system ‘steals’ from your muscles every single day, just to function normally, but particularly when you’re ill or it notices a ‘foreign’ substance in the body. You can start to lose a lot of muscle if you have more than 3 days of immobility and being bed-rested.

Don’t speed up the process of ageing by resting more than you should. Lying around robs you of muscle which you cannot afford to lose. Stay active as much as you possibly can.

“See” the nexus between the effort you invest in your muscles now and the quality of your daily life in your old age.

Save yourself first – NOW for a better quality life in your future. Invest in your muscles today for a better life tomorrow. It would certainly make your mobility during your travel plans in old age much more enjoyable.

All the best in your decision.

Until next time,

Most muscular pose. World Natural Bodybuilding Championships, NY USA. Represented: Australia. Placing: 4th.

Most muscular pose.
World Natural Bodybuilding Championships, NY USA.
Represented: Australia.
Placing: 4th.

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adaptation, awareness, Beliefs, change management, choices, communication, courage, decisions, desire, game of life, gratitude, habits, hope, Imagination, long-term strategy, love, no

Sometimes, local is BEST.

 

You learn from children and then learn from us.
It is a two-way learning experience, not one way (parents to children like some people think)

My children love going on holidays. They love being on holidays during school holidays.

They have just experienced Christmas and New Year’s celebrations and are still on holidays.

My wife and I decided a while back that we will try and experience more of Sydney, more of NSW, more of Australia before we embark on our discovery of all the other ‘foreign places to visit before you die’.

We just love ‘holidaying local’.

I recently asked my wife her view of the benefits of holidaying local and we agreed on quite a few points and the top 3 were:

  1. We experience less stress
  2. We would like to be made more aware and make our children more aware of the beauty and variety of local destinations and the excellent service they keep.
  3. We get to enjoy all the comforts that we would like to enjoy at a fraction of the cost

Don’t get me wrong, overseas travel is wonderful too. The lure of a different culture and people and food. All fantastic. However, there is so much of Australia I have not seen and have not experienced yet and one of my ambitions is to learn more of the country and its people that I have adopted.

So much to absorb. So little time.

The thing about overseas holidays that really get to me is that even up to the point of getting through the gates and on to the plane, we all seem to be rushing around. Trying to be busy. Sometimes it certainly seems that you have to speed up to slow down, which is, funnily enough the ultimate goal of being on a holiday.

We’re looking to ‘soft our minds’.

When you’re holidaying local, you don’t seem to have that problem. You firstly just tell everyone you know that you’re on holidays and treat it strictly like that or don’t tell anyone at all. You don’t take calls and you don’t return calls. You pretend that you’re holidaying overseas. Difficult to do? No, it isn’t. I simply do this by doing exactly what my two children do when they play ‘pretend games’ of princes and princesses and so forth. They don’t come out of their character roles when they play it and so my wife and I try not to either.

We ‘pretend’ we’re on holidays overseas and enjoy all the trappings but with less cost.

Holidaying local allows us to do more of what we love to do when we are on holiday and that is to ‘be on holiday’. Not spending your time travelling and in transit and increasing your stress levels for no real benefit. Nope, I like ‘softening my mind’ when I am holidaying and unlike overseas planned holidays, I like a little bit more certainty.

Like ordering at McDonalds (once in a while for most of us I hope), the certainty of knowing what I am going to get is reassuring to me. I don’t particularly like surprises. I don’t think most people do either.

I try to, however, not to over exaggerate holidays and all the great time my family experiences together during them. Instead, I remind my children that holidaying is something that we do some of the time. When you look at it as a percentage of our total time spent throughout the year, it is very small. So, when we look at it in this frame, we know exactly where to emphasise our existence – and that is in the beauty and chaos of our simple, daily lives.

I’ve always believed that one aspect of a fruitful life is to see opportunities to make the ordinary – extraordinary. Not overseas. Not in your dreams. No, simply in your everyday life. Try to make the everyday a ‘wow’ experience – for you and your loved ones.

You don’t have to look very far. Just look local. Discover more of the beauty and variety of excellent services that are on offer in your local city or neighbouring city. I’m sure you will find something new if you took the effort to look.

That is the thing though – this approach will take some effort, effort on your part to make the ordinary – extraordinary.

Whenever my family eats, one of us says our prayers not only to bless the food but to also to give thanks for all my family’s blessings. ON top of this we ask for God’s guidance and strength to help and guide our family and friends here and abroad. I try to instil in my children, an attitude of gratitude – daily at a young age.

Giving thanks to God, multiple times daily, reminds us to be in the present but more importantly reminds us not to take anything for granted. It reminds us of how lucky we are. It forces my kids to be in the ‘present’.

I also strongly believe that giving gratitude regularly to your GOD and saying THANK YOU for your blessings is like a bridge from where you are now to the life of your dreams.

My children are getting better at praying now. I tell them to think and deliberately ‘feel’ the words of gratitude that we say in our prayers as saying THANK YOU is a ‘feeling’.

Sometimes, just sometimes, it can be better to stay home and enjoy the family home and environment that you inhabit, something that some of us who live very busy lives don’t really get to do. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is to take some time out to ‘soft the mind’.

This is one of the keys to finding your own definition of success in your life as I believe the better you get at ‘softening the mind’ the better you attract success in to your life.

Remember: your mind is the most powerful success tool you have. Give it rest to get it to perform at its best.

 

All the very best to you and your family,

Until next time,

Keeping it simple is key

I AM.
Me .. & my constant companion – Mr Fuzzy/Fussy Cuddles

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adaptation, awareness, Beliefs, choices

The Mirror of Love.

My children - Olivia and Zachary striking a 'front double-biceps' pose for the camera. Watch out, these Valentine Guns are loaded!

My children – Olivia and Zachary striking a ‘front double-biceps’ pose for the camera. Watch out, take cover, these Valentine Guns are loaded!

Firstly, what does a mirror do?

It can do many things but mainly it is used to reflect light and images from it. Mirrors are all around us – in our homes, in gyms in office spaces and in the toilets. Mirrors are very useful and some of us can’t do without them.

The mirror I am talking about in this blog is what I refer to as the “Mirror of Love”. This name represents the behaviour of children mimicking what they observe in the home, reflecting what they ‘see’ just like mirrors do.

Put simply, children are like mirrors.

My children already reflect so much of what my wife and I do and say. It is uncanny. If you are a parent you would also agree. Watching them mimic you. It forces me to constantly reflect and evaluate how I could have handled a situation better. It raises our game as parents.

You see, children tend to reflect love much more than they initiate it. It seems, if love is given to them, they return it. If none is given, they have little or none to offer. You see, I believe children find their way in life by ‘seeing reflections’. We were all once children, who did you reflect in your mirror of love? Reflect on your life, who were the people in your family growing up that you believe had a strong effect on your personality and behaviour? My grandfather was and still is a lasting influence on my life – in my Mirror of Love.

Children discover themselves by looking at you as a parent. This sense of self-discovery is happening every single moment you or your carer are with them. The thing about mirrors is that it can be dirty or marred and so does not reflect the true image. Or it can show distorted images like the ones we see at amusement parks. I regularly take my kids to Luna Park here in Sydney, Australia and there are a few of these mirrors there, distorting the images of people who walk past them.

We don’t want our children’s sense of self-worth, self-esteem and confidence to be distorted like those mirrors, do we?!

This mirror of love I am referring to could be either clean and provide a clear reflection or it could be dim and marred. This mirror of love is a huge responsibility for every parent. How can we, as parents increase the chance that this mirror of love is clean and showing the true reflections? We can all do this by giving unconditional and constant love. To each other and to our children. This is the cleaning agent that can only be used to increase the clarity in this mirror of love. Period!

Making your love for your children conditional will not serve them well as they develop. I believe it could cause havoc with their sense of self-esteem and self-confidence in their later years. When parental love is conditional and inconsistent, the ‘mirror of love’ encourages children to move in the opposite direction to that which is desirable. Their self-concept suffers as they question who they are from day to day.

Not ideal.

As parents, we have all got to be aware of this trap, the trap of conditional love.

I’ve always believed that nothing goes right in life if the home-front isn’t set up right. The home-front needs to be constantly worked on. The home atmosphere is one of the most important qualitiesand is dictated by parents.

The home atmosphere should be the first place to work on. Why? Because the home atmosphere could be one of the most powerful influences on a child’s self-esteem and self-concept. This is the foundation of their emotional growth, their emotional deposits in to the emotional bank account. They will call on these emotional deposits in their future life. As parents, we have got to encourage more and more emotional deposits in their savings account.

Each home has its own atmosphere – few children are blessed with a home that has an atmosphere that is warm, relaxed, calm, friendly, accepting, encouraging and upbeat.

Work hard, very hard to create and maintain such an environment. It allows families to stave off most of the recurring negative emotional diseases of modern life. You name it: anger, jealousy, impatience etc.

As parents, remember, you control the atmosphere in which your children grow up in. You are making a major investment of love and care and money and time in your family and you want a good return on your investment – not just for you but for your children too.

Children’s feelings are based on ‘the amount of time and energy parents invested in them’. Because of the increasing levels of stress parents live with in today’s world from the demands of their jobs, it appears that a lot of parents just don’t have the resilience to deal calmly with normal childhood behaviours. I have observed and learned this in my time in the gym in my associations with parents.

It takes a lot out of parents to keep family and career and all the other obligations in balance – especially when both parents are working.

Parents are on a thin edge and are on the verge of breaking a lot of times because of all the pressure of trying to keep that ‘work-life balance’. When it breaks, and it does for many families, it is the family life that breaks.

A broken home-front. Not ideal.

Before this happens or is at a higher risk of occurring, stop and reflect on your use of your time. Can you spend more time with your family and children (if you honestly think you aren’t doing so)?

What can you do as parents?

Well, firstly WORK on yourself.

In my associations with hundreds of couples and parents over the last 23 years in the gym, I have learned quite a bit about issues relating to the raising of children. One of the most important things and ultimately what really matters in the development of your child is just TIME. Not ‘quality time’ but just time. Try spending more time with your children, and don’t miss a chance to tell them that you love them and letting them know that they are important to you if you aren’t already doing so.

Try and do this often.

In this phase of my life, I am very fortunate to be able to spend a lot of time with my two children. They are growing up very fast.

I understand that part of my role as a parent (along with my wife) in my Christian family is the commitment to the caring about all the needs of my family members – emotional, physical, psychological and spiritual. This builds unity.

Remember, the loving times shared by family add to the strength of the individuals and also of the family as a unit. Memories are created when we spend leisure time to play or rest or travel or reading or whatever we like to do.

Make those memories happen. Make it before they grow up and it is too late. Give the most important gift to your children: your time. No amount of money can buy back that time.

Never forget this: Children Learn What They Live.

And also, clean the ‘mirror of love’ with constant and unconditional love – everyday!

I am sure we will all do our best.

Until next time,

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a better life, action, adaptation, adequate sleep, ageing, awareness, balance, belief systems, Beliefs, better choices, care empathy, caring, change, change management, children, choices, compassion, creation, dads, dads love, daughters, Energy, examined life, game of life, God, habits, kids, life, long-term perspective, mind, needs, parenting skills, perseverance, relationships, responsibility, self discipline, self improvement, self love, self-respect, sleep, Vitality, you, your life

I am.

My young gritty Viking Pirate Prince already getting in touch with his “feminine side’ and enjoying beauty – in cars, watches, buildings … and others
He has the best coach in the world at his disposal.

A Restful mind in Sleep is a peace of Mind.

Sleep consumes one third of our lives. Yet, most people know little about this daily excursion into our inner world. The exact functions of sleep and dreaming have been debated over the ages but are still not really known.

Sometimes we all find it difficult to fall asleep when we want to, laying there staring at the ceiling, tossing and turning.

Feeling restless.

You may have too much on your mind or not much at all. You may be over-tired or you may not be. You may simply feel restless even though you seek restfulness. For whatever reason, we all find it difficult to fall asleep when we want to. Sometimes.

Some of us, more than others.

 

I AM.

  1. I. AM.
    GOD?

I play many games with my children. They keep evolving. I like to think I do, too.

One particular game I play with my kids is one I call “I AM”.

You see my son has had problems for a while now falling asleep in his bed. As a result my wife and I take multiple trips to and from his room to try and settle him to sleep at night. Most of the time we just let him sleep in our bed. Most of the time he gets away with it. Until not too long ago, I introduced the game to him.

“What’s the name of the game, daddy?” asked my son Zachary.

I said it was called “I am”.

“How do you play it?” asks Zach.

I told him that the objective of the game was for him to say “I am” to every question I asked him. Only that phrase but with a few conditions for him to adhere to:

  • Lay still
  • Look me in the eyes
  • Whisper the answer “I am”

It’s been successfully implemented on almost every night I put my son to sleep. He doses off to sleep as he repeats the answer of “I am” to every question I ask him, most of the time with a little smile on his face.

Every time.

I thought up this game for two main reasons:

  1. To get him to fall asleep with improved regularity and with minimum resistance
  2. To condition his neuro-wiring as a foundation for his strength of mind

My gritty Warrior Viking Pirate 🏴‍☠️ prince 🤴

I know reason number 1 has been achieved so far.

As modern neuroscience confirms sleep (including napping) is critical for the health of your brain and you as a human being. Brain health, neurotransmitter release and sleep are intimately entwined. Studies suggesting that psychiatric disorder and neurodegenerative disease are often connected to some form of sleep/circadian rythym disruption.

So, work on improving your sleep patterns and focus on quality of sleep rather than quantity for your overall health.

Responsible for transmission of critical electrical, chemical & hormonal messages -internal communication

Who’s daddy’s … ?

I will know if reason number 2 is achieved in about 10 years and probably for the rest of his life. Time will tell the fruitfulness of this game that will ultimately be for his benefit.

The questions I ask him are repeated and are quite similar to these:

  1. Who’s daddy’s smartest boy? …. And he would say … “I am”.
  2. Who’s daddy’s kindest boy?
  3. Who’s daddy’s strongest boy?
  4. Who’s daddy’s fastest boy?
  5. Who’s daddy’s caring boy?
  6. Who’s daddy’s happiest boy?
  7. Who’s daddy’s loving boy?
  8. etc

Zachary would fall asleep answering “I am” to every question some of which I repeat. My daughter Olivia, who is two years older does not have problems falling asleep but I also play the game with her.

She loves it. Calms her down even further.

A “sense” of who they are is learned from the first man of significant influence in their lives –
us. Dads.

The power sitting dormant in your subconscious mind.

Just like the many other universal principles in life like for example, water seeks its own level or that matter expands when heated. It is a universal truth that whatever you impress on your subconscious mind is expressed in the physical realm.

It is akin to saying a prayer and your prayer is answered because your subconscious mind is principle. Like all principles, the facts are universal and unchangeable. It is just the way things operate.

Not sometimes. All of the time.

True?
Neuroscience is still at the level of where medicine was in the 1700s
A long way to fully understand who we are….
Who “I AM.”

 

The Power of Belief.

The subconscious mind works according to the law of belief. The Bible and probably most other religious texts is littered with examples of the power of belief.

I see my children’s minds as a bed of rich soil that will grow whatever types of seeds I plant and intend to grow. I believe in the power of prayer and the law of belief and why this game of “I am” aims to sow thoughts of happiness, goodwill, right action and success in my children’s minds.

Believe or not believe.
Get your ass off the pole of the fence (stop sitting on the fence!)
Choose.

Hopefully, the magic of the ‘compound effect’, like compound interest on a loan or investment … with time, these wonderful seeds of thought in the garden of their minds, will reap a generous harvest for them.

I have always believed that “the world within creates the world without”. This is a truth and there is a definite link between the subconscious and your conscious minds. As I have discovered in my life, and part of my line of work in helping others achieve their best and their goals – the subconscious mind is very sensitive to your conscious mind.

I learned something from my grandfather when I was very young – that nothing can stop you or anyone … but all is as thinking that makes it so.

Watch your thoughts, I say.

Learning and absorbing our habits every single day of their initial phase of their lives is what our young Princes do.
Teach them well.

Learn and apply the most important & powerful LINK.

Having a deeper understanding of this link gives you the power to help accomplish your goals. It is effectively praying and communicating to God.

Believe or not believe.

Prayers always get answered but you have to be a believer. This unwavering belief happens to be the law of the mind.

You have to believe in belief itself!

I will assist in being the captain of their ship in their early years of life, helping them navigate their conscious mind with the understanding that their young subconscious minds will take and accept as true what they confirm in their ‘I am” answers before falling asleep.

A ‘sick day’ from school day for us here, 4 years ago now.
Enjoying the entertainment at Sydney’s beautiful Luna Park.
I never let schooling interfere with my or my family’s education.

Simple is uncomplicating Beauty.

“I am”: a very simple, yet powerful affirmation of nobody else but – ‘you’. An affirmation of the communication from your conscious mind to your subconscious mind. It is simple, yet complex … and Un-complicating of Real Beauty.

A prayer. Repeated.

Beauty comes in the human form.
It is a living masterpiece.
On display, from a masterful poser/artist, the human body exemplifies beauty and truth rolled in to vibrating ball of flow of muscle.
The hard part is to CREATE beauty. We all have the ability within us.
To create a beauty through the human form is genius.
Providing the scaffolding for your childs(ren) character building towards a ‘beautiful character’ is like sculpturing a great physique.
Everything matters, however, small it is.
GIGO for their minds:
If you want to create champions and leaders , feed them daily champion & leadership thoughts.

Try it, see how you feel after a month.

Try this game with your kids and see if it helps with their sleeping. Try it for a month. The main benefit however, is in the strengthening of the mind. Just like building good quality muscles you have got to be persistent and consistent with daily application of the relevant principles.

You could even try it with older kids (adults) too. Maybe even you. Just change the affirmation questions and find a quiet time and place (preferably just before falling asleep) and create a better you.

Create a better life from within starting with “I am”.

The old Cap’n Viking Pirate.
Me, a Simple-complex Man.

Remember: you reap (your destiny) what your sow (your seeds of thought).

 

Until next time,

Cheers & Ahoy!!

 

The Old Cap’n Viking Pirate … & thoughts and words on belief, subconscious mind and I am.

The Brain 🧠.
The mind.
I AM.

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action, awareness, Goals

The inspiration in YOU.

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It has only been a few hours in to the New Year’s first day and I have just woken up. I sit here in my bed typing this blog.

My kids have woken up, got their dose of holiday chocolates from me and are watching their favourite morning cartoon tv. My wife is reading articles on her tablet.

A typical day in the Valentine household in this phase of our life.

We witnessed a fantastic New Year’s Eve fireworks display on Sydney’s Harbour bridge and surrounding areas at 9pm last night. Our children loved it. My son asked to be lifted on to my shoulders on our 3 minute walk home and fell asleep by the time we returned. What a day and night it was for both of them. Stimulated on all their senses to the nth degree.

The day before, I met an old University mate at a local tavern for a few drinks and catch up as we watched Australia play test cricket on the big screen. The venue was packed. You didn’t have to strain very hard to overhear other patrons’ conversations. There were all sorts of topics – relationships, politics, the state of the economy, the state of the world and personal affairs and so on. One particular conversation struck me for the briefest of moments and it went something like this:

“Where did the year go aye mate?” I heard the person sitting in the table to the left of me say.

“I don’t know, just been so busy” came a reply.

“Yep, very busy for me too” confirmed the first speaker.

Got me thinking.

Got me thinking about time and moments and the insatiable desire to ‘rush’ through life.

As I reflect on that piece of conversation and the year that has been I ask myself questions about the speeded up, frentic culture that most of us live in our modern world and the best use of our time, of our 86,400 seconds of each day.

Most of us talk about being ‘busy’ like it was an Olympic sport. Everyone seems to be going through their day and subsequently, their year ‘busier’ than everyone else they know. So much so, that if they weren’t doing something productive, wise or useful, they would experience a sense of panic.

Have you sensed that panic?

Whilst I can understand the desire to be busy, or at least looking busy (most office workers would know this especially if there is an ‘open plan office layout’), I argue that going at ‘full throttle’ all day, every day, may not be the best use of your time.

It is important to slow down and take stock.

Maybe, just maybe you should consider just for a moment, the best use of your time at this time of the year is to do absolutely nothing instead of being ‘busy’ or looking busy to get the most out of your 2015. Yes, that’s right – do absolutely nothing before you start working on your New Year’s goals and resolutions for 2015. I am sure you and most people you know aim to or are working through goal-setting for the year already.

Sometimes, when you slow down and pause or stop for a little while, you increase your sense of awareness. This increased awareness taps in to the wisdom that is in each and every one of us and reveals answers to the questions you need answers to.

You need to be a little patient. It is worth the wait.

However, this takes a bit of courage as you need to exercise a bit of humility to admit that “you don’t know the answer” to everything and in particular, that ‘you don’t know what to do with the moment you’re in”. This takes a bit of practise. It is not as easy as it sounds.

When your subconscious mind accepts that it does not know all the answers, it sets forth a series of steps that allows this inner wisdom, this inner voice inside of you to spring forth. You just need to do one thing –

You need to quiet the mind.

By quietening the mind, you give yourself the best chance to allow that voice, that source of inspiration in you to reveal itself to you. You don’t need to wait to be inspired by people who climb Mount Everest or complete marathons. You don’t need to wait to be inspired by survivors of cancers or other killers of our time – God bless them. No, you don’t need to wait to be inspired by your teachers, your spouse, your partner or your coach. No. You don’t need to wait to get inspiration from quotes thrown about on various social media sites.

No. You just need to learn to be a little bit more patient, slow down and pause. Pause long enough to allow you to quiet the mind.

And listen.

Allow the inspiration in you to spring forth. It may take a few minutes but sometimes it may take a little longer. Be patient.

Doing absolutely nothing, not being busy, may just allow you to tap in to the inspiration – the wisdom that is in you and every one of us. This may just be the very thing that you need to help you to springboard you towards achieving your goals and New Year’s Resolutions for 2015 and beyond.

You may surprise yourself with the wealth of wisdom and the inspiration in you.

All the best!

 

Until next time,

 

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adaptation, awareness, Beliefs, dreams

I spy with my little eyes …

Training in my Old School Gym adopting Old School Training techniques with a modern twist. Know the basics. Apply the basics. Adapt to the basics. Keep it simple and keep it continuous. Its the most efficient, most effective and safe approach to building a muscular physique in the gym. Find a gym with minimum distraction if you desire results. Focus! Paul.

Training in my Old School Gym adopting Old School Training techniques with a modern twist. Know the basics. Apply the basics. Adapt to the basics. Keep it simple and keep it continuous. Its the most efficient, most effective and safe approach to building a muscular physique in the gym. Find a gym with minimum distraction if you desire results. Focus! Paul.

Time will tell what truth our children search foratvel

Marvel at the intelligence behind their thinking
We (my wife and I) play a game with our children we call “I spy with my little eyes” whenever we’re sitting for any length of time. It could be anywhere but mostly when we’re in the car. The kids enjoy it. I mainly like the game because it teaches my kids to be in the ‘present’ and helps increase their awareness of their external environment.

It also challenges them to compete and think. I sit back and marvel at the intelligence behind their thinking and how fast they embrace change.

My daughter is getting quite good at playing the game now and is thinking of ways to make the guessing harder. She dislikes losing but I try and remind her that tasting defeat and failure teaches you to appreciate success and winning, when it happens.

“And it does happen” I tell her.

“Patience is key”.

My kids watching my wife exercising (doing Deadlifts) in the gym…
They’re learning about how strong their mother is … and the importance of healthy lifestyle choices

Roller-coaster of life 
She has not fully understood the idea of the virtues of patience yet but she is responding to losing much better now than she used to. She is not afraid to have another go. She is slowly learning to face her fear of failure, of losing. A very important lesson to understand in the roller-coaster of life.

I try to explain to her that losing is like falling off her scooter when she is riding her scooter. What’s important is not that she falls. What’s important is that she learns to catch herself better each time she falls and pick herself up faster. And ….

… try again!

This time, with a little more care. With experience, comes smarts.

So, using the scooter analogy, I tell her that when she loses a game of “I Spy with my little eyes’ to dad – to me, or her mother she needs to firstly, accept the loss graciously, learn from it and then ….

… try again!

She does. And she is now winning more games then she is losing and has learned to respond to losing more positively.

Very soon, she will win all the games I play against her. One day in the future, she may remind me of the importance of accepting a loss and being gracious in defeat. I look forward to that day. It will remind me that I will be in another phase of my life and also that we’re all never too old to be reminded of life’s lessons.

Enjoy a swim … enjoying regular Family Time is critical to strong 💪 foundation of character

Re-set our personal GPS 

It helps to re-set our personal GPS (Goals) for Life if we have gone off course a little.

What is your GPS for Life like? Does it need re-calibrating? Don’t be afraid to do so. Its never too late to re-align your GPS for your Life just like we do when we refer to maps on our phones when we need direction. It never too late just like you’re never too old to join a gym and start lifting weights towards a better YOU.

A small change in direction may result in a huge change in where you end up at the end of your life just like a miniscule difference of 1 nautical degree could change a ship’s destination point by tens of kilometers. Don’t just use your eyes to see what’s in front of you, use your eyes (through imagination) to see what is not there yet.

Desire it. Feel it in your heart.

Reflect. Take some time out to reflect on your life these holidays, in all areas in the sphere of your life – relationships, family, career, financial, spiritual, physical. If you’re waiting to add it to your list of resolutions in the New Year, great!

Reflect on the falls you have had (and lets be honest, we all have had some to date). Take the lessons. Learn how to fall better in the future. Have no fear. Have no doubt. Each fall leads you closer to a better result.

Re-set your GPS, we all need to do so every so often as we journey through life. The New Year is a great time to do so – to catalyze and crystallize your GPS as you work towards a better you.

A better life.

Be safe this festive season and a prosperous 2015 to you!

Until next time …

foundations of a gritty strong character Begins in the Family … in the home …

My children striking their version of one of the seven compulsory poses in bodybuilding – the “Front-double biceps” pose.
… and strike!

 

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action, awareness, Beliefs

To live in Hope.

I love the word ‘hope’. I always have.

It is a simple word that encompasses so much. I love it because it allows you to dream and imagine, imagine a better you, a better street, a better community, a better suburb, a better state, a better country and a better world.

Hope inspires every believer to be more. To give more to life. To live more life in their years. To give more to the lives of others.

However, it seems that all acts of hope can open up people to ridicule because it can be seen as unreal – impractical. Many think of hope as nothing more than wishing, because it does not exist in the physical realm. Because people cannot ‘see’ it, they believe it does not exist. The funny thing is that I believe that we all want things we think are impossible but most have better sense than to spend any money or commit their lives to them.

This is where non-believers have it wrong.

You see hope is the reality that already ‘is’ before it actually happens. Hope allows people to ‘connect’ and communicate with God and commit to actions to fulfill their dream. The thing is that God will meet them half way …

In today’s world where there is a lot of decay, the only practical action is to have ‘hope’. This is the only true way of being really practical but it is very difficult. It is very difficult in today’s world because many societies are impractical. Many do not believe in wishful thinking.

If we are to truly live in hope than we need to be impractical. People who are hopeful commit themselves to hope-envisioned actions which are frequently in opposition to the actions of peers.

It takes courage to live and act in hope. It is however, the only practical action as it is the only action that escapes the scrapheap of yesterday’s trends and overcomes the decay of the moment. It is the only action that moves everyone past anger, hurt, guilt, sadness, selfishness and all other examples of decay of the moment.

It is the only action that survives unspeakable crimes to you, to me, to our families, to our communities, to our nation and to our world.

So, clench your fist, grab life by the horns and give it your best go.

Lets all unite and give hope (wishful thinking) and hope-envisioned actions a try – for a better life.

Let’s live in hope for a better life for all …

Until next time,

Paul V2 (1)

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action, adaptation, awareness, body, diet, eating, Energy, Goals, habits, muscles

Eating right actually takes less time than you think. Tip # 8: Limit and substitute your cups of coffee.

Paul V2 (1)

Not too long ago I was guilty of having one-too-many with this one.

It can be addictive.

I admit I drank anywhere between 3 and 5 cups of black coffee per day. I have worked my way down to a maximum of 3 a day, taken at the right time. But I have implemented an important change and it is my primary suggestion in this blog.

What about you? Do you have coffee? How much do you have per day?

When used sensibly, caffeine-rich beverages can be a smart ‘pick-me-up’ drink to boost your alertness and satisfy your caffeine ‘hit’ during your work day. It fires your adrenaline which in turn helps mobilize fat cells and taps in to stores of glycogen (stored carbohydrates) for energy.

Here’s my suggestion or tip (Tip # 8): Try to limit your succeeding cups of coffees by switching one or two cups of coffee with decaffeinated tea.

I must admit I have learned this one off my wife who is quite diligent in substituting caffeinated-free tea for cups of coffee. I learned that it can surely trick your body in to thinking its getting what its used to, without adding extra calories (depending on how you take it) to your daily total.

Even if you drink your coffee like I do (straight black), I have also learned that too much of it can still be one of the reasons your progress in body re-engineering is stalling. You see, excess caffeine triggers more of the release of the stress-hormone “cortisol”. Why is this not ideal? Well, the cortisol regulates many biological functions – from blood pressure to efficiently using the proteins, fats and carbohydrates that you consume.

Sound good? Yes it might sound good but having too much cortisol in your system can be detrimental to your brain, leak calcium from your bones and may lower your immune system.

Not good.

Coffee (black coffee) can certainly assist you in losing fat but only when used at the right time. When should you use it to maximize fat loss? I try and take it 20 to 30 minutes prior to my cardio session or workout as this is shown to assist in the mobilization of more fat cells and use.

However, like I mentioned earlier, excess caffeine taken at the wrong time, can have a negative impact on your weight loss too. Excess cortisol raises insulin levels as your sugar levels rise. This encourages the body to store the excess calories as fat.

Again, not good.

Also, coffee acts as a diuretic and so forces water out of your body via increased toilet visits. In fact for every cup of coffee you drink, you may likely need to drink two cups of water to replace the amount of liquid the coffee drink forces you to urinate out.

Not good again.

This is not good but compounds this effect is that people replace this first cup of coffee with another cup and so become even more water de-hydrated. This is not ideal also in your quest for building and keeping good lean muscle mass.

If you find yourself in this situation do yourself a favour and stop this cycle now by substituting that second cup of coffee with a de-caffeinated cup of tea.

I thank my beautiful and loving wife, Cathy for this one.

It should only take you a minute of your time.

Total estimated time for previous 7 tips (b/f) = 20 minutes

Add time for this tip (Tip #8) = 1 minute

Total estimate time to apply All Tips (8) = 21 minutes.

My top 8 practical Tips to a better, healthier you takes only an estimated 21 minutes out of your day. Safely, supporting my original goal of proving to you that my top 10 tips to eating healthy takes less time than you think – in this instance it should take you a grand total of 21 minutes to eat healthy in your day.

Don’t tell yourself that you don’t have the time to do this. Instead ask yourself  can you afford not to do it.

Apply Action.

Adapt.

Try it. Feel better!

 

Until next time,

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