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12.5 of Life’s Living Tips to live by.

Checking for tracks on the ground for past visitors?

Love life and life will love you back.

Life Tips – too many to count – that wide.

I am sure by this stage in your life you have come across many health tips and are practising some and have not even considered others for whatever reason.

There is certainly no magic formula to optimum health and fitness but you can make your life a little more liveable by doing a few things a little better.

To improve your overall personal immunity.

What you are today is to some extent the cumulative compound effect of the habits you have decided to make a part of your life. Wonderful, I hope.

I have listed some health and hygiene habits I practise daily and I would like to share them with you. These are only 12.5 tips. I have found these tips to be both true and effective in cultivating outstanding health and fitness habits.

Habits that have added to my life and I am certain will positively add to your life rather than subtract.

Have a read and see if you think it beneficial to your life. It has been to mine so far:

Drink water first thing upon waking with a hint of citrus:
1. Try drinking a glass of water (250 ml) upon waking in the morning. If you can, try squeezing in some lemon and a drop of honey.
2. Drink 1 litre of water per 25 kg of bodyweight. So, a 75 kg person should be drinking a minimum of 3 L of water daily.

Brush your teeth after every meal:
1. If you can, brush once after every meal and once before going to sleep at night. I eat at least 6 times per day and I brush at least 4 times per day.

Eat a balanced diet:
1. Concentrate on a diet of good wholesome food.
2. Try to do without white-based flour products and sugar.

Chew well:
1. Digestion starts in your mouth as you’re well aware.
2. Make it a little easy on your stomach muscles and digestive juices by chewing your food well. Take your time and enjoy the essence of each food you consume.
3. Try not to talk too much while you’re eating and focus on your food more. You should remember that it is not only important to consider quantity and quality of source of your food. You should also ask yourself how well your body is absorbing and assimilating all the food you’re eating.
4. Liken your digestive system to that of a factory. Have you asked yourself how much ‘wastage’ your digestive factory is incurring? How much of the input (food) you’re taking in is actually being used for and by your body? How efficient and effective is your digestive system? Well, you can reduce your ‘wastage’ significantly by simply chewing well or better than you are currently doing.

Apply good moisturiser to your skin after you shower at night:
1. Aim to use a moisturiser that has Vitamin E and soborlene for improve health and elasticity of your skin.
2. Stay away from other combinations.

Get enough fresh air and direct sunlight every day:
1. The health and vitality of you and your body (and mind) needs the sun’s rays. Even if you’re very, very busy at work try and take at least 20 minutes out to get some fresh air and sunlight.
2. Be sure to use a good sunblock too (if you’re fair skinned).
3. For people living in countries with very little sun, it is vital for your vitamin D production, the presence of which is necessary for your immunity against common ailments in addition to other benefits.

Do your plumbing (#2s) in the morning:
1. Try and get in to the habit of ‘sitting on your throne” and excreting your waste in the morning before work or your work out.
2. My children and I refer to this activity as the ‘boom-boom’! Call it what you will, train your body to do its plumbing first thing in the morning.

Keep your mind calm and have a positive attitude:
1. At all times, everyday.
2. Strive to never lose control in all areas of your life.

Make your exercise sessions a pleasure not a burden:
1. Use the hour in the gym as your ‘meditation hour’
2. Your time to work on your internal muscle and external muscles

Train at least three times per week:
1. Weight training in the gym is a must. The benefits to you is a no-brainer!
2. Follow your weights session with 20 to 30 minutes cardio of ‘power-walking’ ( I will elaborate in a future blog about how I do this and why I think this is one of the best forms of cardio you can do now and in to your old age) on a treadmill or outside.

Get adequate rest daily:
1. Make sure you get sufficient sleep every day

12.5 Keep good posture:

At all times – when seated and standing.

There are many more of “Life’s lessons” to live by hence the “12.5” (not exhaustive in any way) tips but these are some simple ones that come to my mind as I write this and could add a little more life in to your years. It could add more vitality to you. Take it as a reminder, a catalyst or whichever way you want.

One of my goals is just to make you more ‘aware’. The rest (action and adaptation) is up to you.

More vitality … better energy … better opportunities …. Better life to you.

Until next time,

Photo op with a local resident and her dog. Lovely.

An old school pose.

a better life, attitude, awareness, basics of training, better choices, choices, consciousness, fairness, gym, habits

Animal “types” you may encounter in the gym.

Strength is not only determined by how much you can lift for one rep

As I have mentioned in previous blogs, I have been around gyms for over 23 years now and have observed some interesting things that seem to be special to the environment.

Gyms are popping up all over the place now and they cater for almost every individual’s tastes. Big and small, 24 hours or not. Hard-core or fancy. The more, the merrier – right? I’m not sure about that. Each gym has its own unique ambience and attract certain types of patrons.

Now I realise that you could add many more gym stereotypes but as I have spent my time mostly in the weights area of gyms (retro gyms tend to only have weights and a few cardio machines), I will comment on 4 types or sub-groups of patrons I tend to see.

You may or may have had encounters with these gym types during your workouts.

I have tried to use an animal-in-the-jungle analogy to identify these weight-training types:

Type 1: The Silverback – “The Steroid Guy” – (and girl in increasing numbers in today’s world):

Now, I have never taken steroids or performance-enhancing drugs in all my years of weight training and I don’t know much about it but I do know when someone is ‘on it’. It is quite obvious for the discerning eye.

A visual walking, talking pumped up to the eyeballs human anatomy. The vein in his or her neck and shoulders and arms are visible and throbbing and they have acne problems like out of control hormonal teenagers.

Watch out, he (or she) look like they may snap your head off and punch someone in the face at any moment (no, most are really nice). They tend to be very serious about their workouts and do not like anyone interrupting them. They are what I refer to as “live wire”.

Fortunately, I didn’t have that problem in the period I owned and managed my Family Gym.

Your goal: Keep out of their way!

Be YOU. Never imitate.

Type 2: The Peacock – “The Mirror Man” :

I would probably fall in to this category but not for vanity reasons (or maybe just a little). More so for focus and continuous assessment and feedback, amongst other things essential to the sport of natural bodybuilding.

For the ‘mirror man’, however he (or she in increasing numbers) likes to work out in front of and as close to the mirror as possible. Preferably, with his/her shirt off (well I haven’t seen a woman work out with her shirt off in 23 years but given the pace of change in many aspects of life, it may just happen one day in my lifetime).

It appears that these weight-training types are only concerned with one person and one person only: themselves, even if it means standing in your way and blocking you off from the weights rack.

Your goal: get angry (no, politely ask him/her to move).

Is this you, too

Type 3: The Skunk– “the stinker”:

These are (mainly men) that roll out of bed and shoot straight to the gym.

They don’t care to brush their teeth and so have horrible breath and even more body odour stench. They don’t seem to have friends to tell them that they stink. Isn’t that what good friends do?

Doesn’t really affect me as my tolerance for stench is pretty high but many other members approach me and tell me their disgust, hoping that I would go up and say something. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t.

Unfortunately for everyone, from my observation, it seems that these breeds of skunks tend to be some of the hardest workers in the gym and I take my hat off for them. However, they can populate their stink bombs right throughout the joint. It can be everywhere.

Let me share a health secret with you: this is one of the primary reasons why I prefer to train in non-air-conditioned gyms, there is better air-flow. Besides being tougher, but it’s healthier. A warm muscle is a healthy muscle. My family Gym did not have air-condition.

Your goal: If you’re faced with this situation, you really have only one of two choices:

Get out of there and come back another time
Commence ‘mouth-breathing’.

Exactly.
That is exactly what many experience when they get overwhelmed & cannot manage.
They experience “Holy Shit!”

Type 4: The Hyena – “The Screamer”:

He’s the guy (or chick in increasing numbers) that shouts the roof down whenever he lifts. We’ve all seen (rather – heard them).

He’s like a screaming Sharapova on steroids and wants you and everyone else within a kilometre of the gym to know that he is lifting. He will scream even under ridiculously light weights either because of a need for attention or some other mental disease that needs diagnosing from a qualified mind doctor.

Your goal: protect your eardrums by listening to your favourite i-tunes.

My family gym was for everyone – from all walks of life, from all backgrounds, all races and ranged in age from teens to 90 year olds.
Everyone abided by ‘old-fashioned value’ – respect, patience, care, compassion, trust, tolerance etc
Here I am with one of my blind members (and her guide dog) who visited my gym 3 days per week for 7 years. Many other gyms descriminated against handicapped population. Not mine.
My gym was an ALL inclusive Family Gym.

I’m sure if you’re a regular gym-goer you could list out other stereotypes and match them to animals in the jungle. I feel that sometimes gym environments can be likened to jungles. There are many stereotypes and some of them just make you sit back and laugh.

So, my question to you is: which weight-trainee type do you fall in? Are you clearly one of the 4 types I have highlighted here or do you fall in a unique type?

So, find a gym that best suits you if you haven’t already. Actually, sometimes it is better to ask someone with the experience to recommend a ‘gym type’ that is best suited to your personality type and if you want to go deeper, then consider the best gym to suit your principles and values.

But I’ll give you more guidance on selecting the best gym for you in a future blog.

Train SMART.

Until next time,

Members of my ‘extended family’ when I used to own and manage my gym for seven years. Some of the best and hardest years of my life so far. I loved leading the members (predominantly males – 70%) and they allowed me to take them to unchartered territories for us all.
The gym was (unlike today’s) a social place. An ‘inbetween home’ between your place of work and your home.
Relationships based on fairness, trust, care and compassion.
A place where men could share stories, their aspirations, their fears and hopes …and be listened to … without fear of retribution or ridicule.
It was these group of Mens ‘last refuge’.
I hope to bring it back one day … to the world.

My Family of friends in my gym I owned and managed for 7
years.
All working towards being the ‘best the can be’

action, adaptation, ageing, awareness, Beliefs, diet, eating, Energy, life

We all stink.

A variation of the ‘back single biceps” pose … on the beach.

I don’t know about you but my tolerance for stench is pretty high.

It probably was harnessed over the last 23 years of being in and around gym floors working out among other gym enthusiasts. Yep, I can handle pretty awful smells now and I am very happy about that.

A lot of times my family would complain of a smell but it wouldn’t even affect my nostrils. It doesn’t even register on the Odour Richter scale. That’s how tolerant my nose is to stench.

Now, I know this is quite an embarrassing topic to talk about but I am going to just let’er rip and talk about gas, flatulence, cutting the cheese, wind, anal acoustics … well, you get my drift. In all my years in the gym my nose has smelled them all.

All and every kind of fart there is, I think.

Lifters and potential lifters beware: everyone’s farting up a storm in the weights room. It makes sense doesn’t it – when you’re squeezing, grimacing and grunting and pushing, the occasional gas leak is bound to happen.

This still is far better than the smells people must endure in those closed up, very small group cycling/machine/cardio rooms. That is just wrong and unhealthy. Anything you experience (in terms of smell) in the weights areas of gyms is nothing compared to the stench these claustrophobic classes enthusiasts experience.

However, there are people who love it and god bless them.

When (and not if) you experience this sometimes nauseous gas in the weights room, you will know.

But don’t panic, here’s a few tips to help you get through the experience relatively unscathed:

Switch to ‘mouth breathing’ when you’re in the weights room
Bury your nose in your own shirt/towel. Your own stink tends to be more acceptable than the other person next to you
Keep it quick, efficient and effective. No dillydallying!
Now I don’t always say this but don’t forget, there is always tomorrow.

There you go, now if you smell the occasional fart emitted by your partner (husband/boyfriend or wife/girlfriend), remind yourself of how much more awful the smells (combinations of farts and body odour) it is for most people that go to a gym. Far worse than what you periodically inhale in the comfort of home.

My point is: Don’t get mad at him/her!

Look at it from another perspective. I think, tell him or her that they need to work on their diet and make it smell more. Yep, that’s right – they should improve their stink!

Why?

Now, I am going to make a bold statement now – because the stinker your fart is, the better your diet is. Your fart is closely related to your diet. Yep, I know sounds crazy right – no, it doesn’t! The output (farts) is a direct result of the input in to your system. You see, protein stinks or rather nitrogen gas which is protein by-product from your gut, smells.

So, it follows that if your fart does not stink enough, then, your protein intake is inadequate. And what did I say about the importance of protein in your diet? The more, the better.

Your goal: Increase your daily protein intake to adequate levels for your lean body mass. This creates an anabolic environment that helps you stay younger – longer. It is part of the fountain of youth – aids in muscle retention.

And your farts will smell even worse. Why would you want this?

Well, simply that the more impressive your fart stench, the healthier you are. I know, I know, there could be several reasons for having very stink farts but let’s keep it simple. So, we can all agree, that it is highly likely that:

Increased protein consumption = increased fart stench.

Use the stink as an indicator of how healthy your diet is. And you don’t need no fancy gadget or app to monitor how stink you are.

Just use what the good Lord gave you: your nose.

So, there you have it – we all stink! And you thought …. You didn’t right? Admittedly, to varying degrees. Most people go see specialists out of concern for their bad fart stench. I think you’ve got to seriously consider the risk of having low-stench farts and its implications. It is something to take heed.

Hypothesis: if your fart does not stink, then I think you’ve got something seriously wrong with your diet and digestive system. Go get it looked at or use it as a sign to bump up your protein intake. So, here’s an interesting formula:

More (adequate) protein ==> Healthier diet==> Stinker farts ==> longer life ==> Better ‘life’ in your years.

So, there you go, enjoy the next fart you have and assess the intensity of your stench. Don’t hide away in the corner. Let it out and get feedback from people around you. If they make for the nearest door, take it as a good sign. If they hang around then it could be smelling you something to be concerned about.

Remember: The worse the smell, the better.

Until next time,

Slight variation of side chest pose.

action, adaptation, awareness, Beliefs, courage

Two sides of the same coin.

What is intrinsic to all living things? Have you thought of that?

Each of us would have our own unique view of this and you could probably list many intrinsic values that you consider paramount. That is great. To me, two of the most basic, most fundamental and what I consider the most intrinsic to all living things are:

Freedom
The search for purpose or meaning to our existence

The first is vital and encompasses so much of what it means to be alive and to be truly human. Most of us have our own definitions of this. That is fine. The second point forms part of our being and is part of our essence. Part of being human – our search for meaning and purpose for our own self and of everything that is external to us and that which we are a part of. Our search for a purpose-driven life.

Each of us has a story and we’re all somewhat authors of our stories. We’re also part of our ancestor’s stories. We’re all part of a continuous story, adding chapter after chapter to our history. Individual history and community’s history. All this history is an integral part of each of us, of how we came to be.

Unless you attempt to understand the history of a situation, the history of you and your family, The history of your community, the history of a country, the history of a civilization, the history of a race, the history of a religion – you cannot begin to understand and ever hope to solve problems that you may be facing in the current day. Support freedom in all its forms.

Continue searching for your purpose, your meaning to your life. Ask yourself what is it that drives your life? We are all driven by something at any point in time. What is driving you now? Knowing your purpose gives meaning to your life but can you honestly say that you know your life’s purpose right now? If you do, fantastic. How can you tell yourself what you were created for? You didn’t create yourself, did you? You don’t have the owner’s manual (like that which comes with an IKEA product we use to assemble) that reveals your life’s purpose, do you?

Where should you begin then? Where should we all begin?

I see the answers lay in your decision to pursue one of two options – the two sides of the same coin.

On one side, you could try to do it all on your own, this is the side which most people choose to search for answers through self-help. That is one way indeed. Yes, this can and does lead many to great success but does not necessarily give you the answers of your life purpose. This side of the coin is one of speculation, one of guessing nature.

The other side of the same coin would be to ask for help and seek help from your inventor, your creator. It is God’s word and not the world’s wisdom that will reveal your purpose to you.

You could, no, you must start with God!

On this side of the coin you accept that you did not create yourself and neither did your parents. You were not an accident. Your birth was no mistake or mishap and your life is no fluke of nature. You are not the sole author of your life and your history as well. Your parents may not have planned you but God did. You were made by God and for God.

With this side of the coin you have to believe that you were custom-made by God and he had input in to everything that is YOU now!

You have to believe in God. God made you for a reason. And do you know why?

Well, simply because God loves you. God is love. The way I see it, this should be the cornerstone of your life, of everyone’s life. It is an eternal truth. Start your search not by tossing the coin but by choosing the side of the coin that is through God. Let him reveal your life’s purpose to you.

Don’t be mistaken though, being successful and fulfilling your life’s purpose isn’t really the same thing. No it isn’t. You could run the risk of achieving all your personal goals and becoming a great success in your field, but still miss the purposes for which God created you.

All the very best in your search for your life’s purpose as I think one of life’s greatest tragedies is not death but a life without purpose.

Remember, the coin always has two sides. Choose well.

Until next time,

action, adaptation, awareness, Beliefs, hope, life

Don’t wait for Perfect.

Case-by-case basis.

One of the things that I have learned in my life so far is that life is not perfect.

I learned long ago not to expect it to be. The thing is, Life was never meant to be perfect and it (Life) never will be. This is just one sub-set of the significant area of Awareness.

You can address this imperfection in life in many ways and determine the response on a ‘case-by-case’ basis. A sound strategy, theoretically anyway.

Feel the hurt, the disappointment.

One way I have adapted to this truth that ‘life is not perfect’ is just trying to be the best I can be. I learned this a long, long time ago from one the best teachers I have ever had in my life, about life – my grandfather.

He was a man of few words but he was wise. A few times I returned from school with less than expected results and I felt disappointed, he would always say to ‘feel’ the hurt, the disappointment.

My grandfather would sit down with me and say “be the best you can be, boy! Be the best you can be. That’s all you have to do.” The operative word is ‘trying’ as sometimes one’s patience can be tested. I strongly believe that you just have to make the very best of it – Life that is.

Learn from your errors and try not to repeat it. Every error, every mistake is just a reminder that you’re human and that you are far from perfect. In all situations. Try to be proactive. Choosing to respond rather than to react.

Have an open mind and an open heart.

To fully immerse yourself in life, I think you have to have an open mind and an open heart. Having a closed mind and heart can be very limiting to you. With this open mind and open heart, you can fully embrace whatever life offers you – good and bad, scary and friendly.

Life could offer you either the ugly or the beautiful. Most of the time you don’t know what to expect. Reminds me of that line Tom Hanks said in the “Forest Gump” movie:

“Life is like a box of chocolate. You never know what you’re gonna get.”

And do you know why?

Simply because life is not perfect. Don’t make it out to be.

I say, reach out and absorb everything life hands out to you – the good and the bad; the scary and the friendly and the ugly and the beautiful. Absorb everything. Respond sufficiently and appropriately. Adapt accordingly.

Then say thank you to your God.

Be present, everywhere.

You may ask why? Well, for one thing – you’re alive! Wherever you are (as you read this) – be here, be there.

Be present, everywhere. You have 86,400 seconds a day. My challenge to you is to live, really live those 86,400 seconds. Everyday. Hint: be present….. Except for those 28,800 seconds you’re asleep.

Life doesn’t get any better than this – in the “NOW”, that is …. For now, anyway.

Because the one thing we all have in us is our innate ability to HOPE, but not just hope, we need ACTIVE Hope. Active Hope is believing “it will be” and having the courage to take sufficient and appropriate actions towards making it a reality. “It” being whatever it is you desire so deeply.

Never stop believing. Never.

And don’t wait for Perfect …. To happen before taking action. Before making a decision/taking the opportunity/making a choice. And we all know what happens when we choose, don’t we?

We are responsible.

All the very best in your decisions and continue to be more inquisitive about life.

Until next time,

adaptation, awareness, belief systems, Beliefs, change, courage

Nobody can teach you WHO YOU ARE.

Who are you?

Yes, who are YOU?

Have you asked yourself that question? Yes, maybe once, twice, countless times or maybe never.

From when we are children, most of us have already been asked the question about “what we want to become”.

Right from a young age most of us have had the question fired at us. “Son/daughter what do you want to become when you’re older – a doctor, a lawyer, a fireman, an engineer, a carpenter … ?”

Most of us are brought up in a culture that tells us “you are what you do.”

In my 23 years in the gym and talking to thousands of people, I have found that when people are asked “tell me about yourself”, most people immediately talk about their career as if it was the ‘be all and end all’ about them. A complete definition of ‘who and what they are.’

I think there should be a clear distinction between who the person is and the activity they perform as part of their ‘job’. We’re all just individuals and we’re all doing something. But that something should not define who we are. That is only a small part of who we are, who YOU ARE.

It is important that you never forget that YOU are more important than what you do.

Always.

Keep working towards discovering the REAL YOU. Not the YOU that your career defines you as or the YOU that you work very hard to fulfil others’ perceptions of you. Find the real YOU. That is a journey indeed. A journey in to the heart of darkness as the great author Joseph Conrad described so eloquently.

You need to constantly build on the first ‘A” of my Triple A Approach to Life and Whole-self development and that is to increase ‘Awareness’. Awareness of no one else but YOU, of your SELF. I believe that this is the first step towards any worthwhile, sustainable personal development – to be more aware.

You will find that the more aware you become, more and more of your problems and most of the stress in your life will dissolve too. But, there is a price to pay to develop this awareness. A great thinker once said that “Awareness, in and of itself, is transformative.” This is almost spiritual-like, as you ‘clean up your own act you find that you build a profound effect on the world around you.

You see, there is a connection – a definite nexus between ‘what you do inside and what happens in your life’ and when you work on increasing your awareness, you are forced to consider and question your belief system and various beliefs that comprise it. Some of which had been adopted by you as a choice or without a choice when you were growing up. These beliefs helped form your perception of reality. Your version of ‘the truth’. You kept these beliefs because in kept you safe in your family while growing up.

But times change. You grow up. Those beliefs which influence the way you feel and behave attract certain situations and people in to your life and what situations and people you become attracted to. So, it follows that what you BELIEVE generates most of what happens in your life. When you work at increasing your awareness of YOU, you will come to this conclusion too.

So, my point is this, by increasing your awareness, you will question certain beliefs that may have served you well when you were a kid up until you were 10 years old but does not serve your purposes now, TODAY. It kept you safe or you felt a sense of security when you hung on to these beliefs in your family when you were child.

Here’s the thing, I have found that with increased awareness, you are able to LET GO certain beliefs but you have got to be brave to do so because it is difficult. Matter of fact it is one of the scariest things to do if you’re not used to it. Letting go a belief takes a lot of courage and you have to summon up the courage to do it if you are serious about getting the best out of your life.

“Why?” you may be asking, “should we LET GO these beliefs?”

Well, its simple: because you CANNOT keep believing something that DOES NOT serve you! That is one possible definition of insanity.

But don’t rush it. We’re all at different levels of awareness so go easy on yourself. It takes some time and practice to get good at it, just like anything else, for example we’re all at different levels in our training in the gym when it comes to lifting weights and building muscle.

So, if you accept that what you believe generates most of what happens in your life, and if you don’t like attracting the same kinds of situations or people in to your life then you have got to let go of those ‘self-limiting beliefs’ that are holding you back.

A lot of the price you have to pay to create your new perception of reality is: YOUR ATTITUDE and you are 100% totally responsible for that, aren’t you?

There is no doubt that what you pay attention to determines a lot of what happens in your life. True indeed. So, with an attitude of gratitude make a decision to pay attention to or FOCUS on what you want from life, not what you don’t want.

When I was in my teens , I saw the world with a different philosophy to the way I see the world in my twenties and it was different still in my thirties. My picture of the world and my definition of truth has changed considerably. The ‘truth’ as we see it is really our version of the world based on our beliefs and belief systems.

They, however, don’t necessarily have anything TO DO WITH THE TRUTH. They are versions of the truth. Not absolute truth, only relative truth.

Therefore, if truth is relative and does not have 100% certainty, DO NOT FEAR letting go self-limiting beliefs – beliefs that DO NOT SERVE YOU well, anymore. Accept that if ‘the truth’ changes and is dynamic, not static then there is no need to remain RIGID in your beliefs that feed the truth.

There are not many certainties in life but one thing I know with a high degree of certainty is that EVERYTHING CHANGES.

Everything!

So go with the flow and so be like water and be fluid and flexible with your beliefs and find the REAL YOU, who you ARE, what your real needs are (as opposed to the things you just want) and when you are living according to your REAL needs (somewhat achieved through spiritual growth).

That is probably a point where you will teach yourself more of WHO YOU ARE.

Nobody, I repeat – NOBODY can teach you who you are …. But the REAL YOU!

All the best in your decision.

Until next time,

action, adaptation, ageing, life

Give ‘The Finger’ and feel good about it.

It was only yesterday that I had to GIVE ‘the finger’. And I felt good about it.

You must be thinking, “gee Paul, isn’t that a bit vulgar?!”

Well, you’re entitled to think what you want to think, but before you form an opinion, read a little further.

I give ‘the finger’ at least once a week here in Sydney and it gives me a sense of gratitude when I do. For me, this gesture that involves “the finger” is just one of the many ways, however small it is, to GIVE.

Yes, you read right – to GIVE. I really feel great when I give ‘the finger!’.

Let me elaborate…

Olivia and I were on our way home from our ‘Daddy-daughter’ excursion yesterday. As we turned off the main road, I slowed the car as I saw an elderly lady on the curb wishing to cross.

I came to a complete stop, looked up at the lady as I raised ‘the finger’ (my index finger) and she smiled at me.

The finger was raised (some of you probably raise the hand) with a little nod of the head and a responsive smile, acknowledging her and giving her right of way to cross the road. The elderly lady slowly made her way, moving her aged frame, step by step past the front of the car. I studied her movements and tried to ‘feel’ the discomfort she was feeling as she walked.

My observations told me that she obviously had postural issues that impacted on her ease of mobility (in this case, simply walking). It appeared she had excessive scoliosis and her gate was severely limited. And the expression on her face gave me some idea of the pain she was experiencing each step she took.

But I wondered, no I am certain she wasn’t always like this. She once was walking straighter, bouncing around full of vitality and walking as if there wasn’t a care in the world. When she was younger …. Part of HER STORY.

Everyone has a story. She is writing hers as you are the author of yours.

It makes me think about the millions of other aged persons in the world who experience unwanted discomfort in carrying out the most basic of tasks like walking, every single day. Not a nice way to live out the remainder of their lives.

It is a slippery slope for a lot of older men and women from a physical stand-point. For all of us actually as we are constantly ageing.

Fewer skeletal muscles due to atrophy and lack of muscle-use compounds the difficulties experienced in mobility (refer to my previous blog for top 3 pointers to get started).

But the thing is – physical pain is not the worst part!

No, I believe it is the mental, spiritual and emotional pain.

The lack of mobility leads to the worst problem: the persons’ deteriorating ‘sense of self’ and ‘self-worth’ and ‘self-image’. Now this is where the risk is highest. An exaggerated view of the lack of the above issues can cause an accelerated journey towards the grave. Why? Because I think they lose their dignity. Nobody likes to lose their sense of dignity… and should not be allowed to.

Nobody. Every person has a STORY.

Remember: it is never too late to start a weight-bearing exercise program. Never too late, no matter how old you are and how out of condition you are in.

Start. Today. Start – Now!

Two or three times per week. Put yourself in that old lady’s shoes. Seize life by the horns and take back control of your state of mind to lead you towards building muscles. Take back control of your body. Your spirit. Take care of your WHOLE – SELF.

Think about it.

Build this anti-ageing magical essence (muscle) and EMPOWER the most important person in the world to you: YOU. You have the power in your hands now to partially help your state of dignity in old age. Put those weights in your hands and lift. Lift as if your life depended on it!

The sad thing is that IT DOES. The quality of your last 20 years of your life in old age depends on the available muscle you have. Do yourself that favour before it is too late.

Back to my drive with Olivia ….

As the old lady approaches the other side of the road she looks back, produces a thankful smile and GIVES me ‘the finger’ too.

I was grateful for that gesture. I gave respect and she returned it. Thank you.

I smile again in response and say a little prayer for her as I stepped on the accelerator and drive off home with a sense of gratitude but also a sense of sadness too.

A sadness in my heart for the pain and discomfort that that lady and many aged persons like her in the world experience every single day, slowly eating away at their dignity and quality of life.

The scary thing is that these ‘aged-related illnesses’ are increasingly affecting younger generations today, but I will leave that observation for a future blog.

If there is one gift you could buy yourself or your mum/dad or grandparents that could have the biggest impact on a life – buy them a gym membership and get them help to empower themselves (physically). That could turn out to be the most important gift you may ever buy for you or your loved ones.

Everyone now, all raise ‘the finger’ to yourself in the mirror and just DO IT! Remind yourself about what “the finger” represents – respect. Respect to YOU.

“Do what? “, I hear you say.

I say: “Build, protect and preserve your muscles. It WILL serve you well in the years ahead.”

All the best in your decision.

Until next time,

Side Triceps.
Australian Natural Bodybuilding Championships.
Lost by 2 points.
Final placing: Runner-up.

adaptation, awareness, Beliefs, choices

The Mirror of Love.

My children - Olivia and Zachary striking a 'front double-biceps' pose for the camera. Watch out, these Valentine Guns are loaded!

My children – Olivia and Zachary striking a ‘front double-biceps’ pose for the camera. Watch out, take cover, these Valentine Guns are loaded!

Firstly, what does a mirror do?

It can do many things but mainly it is used to reflect light and images from it. Mirrors are all around us – in our homes, in gyms in office spaces and in the toilets. Mirrors are very useful and some of us can’t do without them.

The mirror I am talking about in this blog is what I refer to as the “Mirror of Love”. This name represents the behaviour of children mimicking what they observe in the home, reflecting what they ‘see’ just like mirrors do.

Put simply, children are like mirrors.

My children already reflect so much of what my wife and I do and say. It is uncanny. If you are a parent you would also agree. Watching them mimic you. It forces me to constantly reflect and evaluate how I could have handled a situation better. It raises our game as parents.

You see, children tend to reflect love much more than they initiate it. It seems, if love is given to them, they return it. If none is given, they have little or none to offer. You see, I believe children find their way in life by ‘seeing reflections’. We were all once children, who did you reflect in your mirror of love? Reflect on your life, who were the people in your family growing up that you believe had a strong effect on your personality and behaviour? My grandfather was and still is a lasting influence on my life – in my Mirror of Love.

Children discover themselves by looking at you as a parent. This sense of self-discovery is happening every single moment you or your carer are with them. The thing about mirrors is that it can be dirty or marred and so does not reflect the true image. Or it can show distorted images like the ones we see at amusement parks. I regularly take my kids to Luna Park here in Sydney, Australia and there are a few of these mirrors there, distorting the images of people who walk past them.

We don’t want our children’s sense of self-worth, self-esteem and confidence to be distorted like those mirrors, do we?!

This mirror of love I am referring to could be either clean and provide a clear reflection or it could be dim and marred. This mirror of love is a huge responsibility for every parent. How can we, as parents increase the chance that this mirror of love is clean and showing the true reflections? We can all do this by giving unconditional and constant love. To each other and to our children. This is the cleaning agent that can only be used to increase the clarity in this mirror of love. Period!

Making your love for your children conditional will not serve them well as they develop. I believe it could cause havoc with their sense of self-esteem and self-confidence in their later years. When parental love is conditional and inconsistent, the ‘mirror of love’ encourages children to move in the opposite direction to that which is desirable. Their self-concept suffers as they question who they are from day to day.

Not ideal.

As parents, we have all got to be aware of this trap, the trap of conditional love.

I’ve always believed that nothing goes right in life if the home-front isn’t set up right. The home-front needs to be constantly worked on. The home atmosphere is one of the most important qualitiesand is dictated by parents.

The home atmosphere should be the first place to work on. Why? Because the home atmosphere could be one of the most powerful influences on a child’s self-esteem and self-concept. This is the foundation of their emotional growth, their emotional deposits in to the emotional bank account. They will call on these emotional deposits in their future life. As parents, we have got to encourage more and more emotional deposits in their savings account.

Each home has its own atmosphere – few children are blessed with a home that has an atmosphere that is warm, relaxed, calm, friendly, accepting, encouraging and upbeat.

Work hard, very hard to create and maintain such an environment. It allows families to stave off most of the recurring negative emotional diseases of modern life. You name it: anger, jealousy, impatience etc.

As parents, remember, you control the atmosphere in which your children grow up in. You are making a major investment of love and care and money and time in your family and you want a good return on your investment – not just for you but for your children too.

Children’s feelings are based on ‘the amount of time and energy parents invested in them’. Because of the increasing levels of stress parents live with in today’s world from the demands of their jobs, it appears that a lot of parents just don’t have the resilience to deal calmly with normal childhood behaviours. I have observed and learned this in my time in the gym in my associations with parents.

It takes a lot out of parents to keep family and career and all the other obligations in balance – especially when both parents are working.

Parents are on a thin edge and are on the verge of breaking a lot of times because of all the pressure of trying to keep that ‘work-life balance’. When it breaks, and it does for many families, it is the family life that breaks.

A broken home-front. Not ideal.

Before this happens or is at a higher risk of occurring, stop and reflect on your use of your time. Can you spend more time with your family and children (if you honestly think you aren’t doing so)?

What can you do as parents?

Well, firstly WORK on yourself.

In my associations with hundreds of couples and parents over the last 23 years in the gym, I have learned quite a bit about issues relating to the raising of children. One of the most important things and ultimately what really matters in the development of your child is just TIME. Not ‘quality time’ but just time. Try spending more time with your children, and don’t miss a chance to tell them that you love them and letting them know that they are important to you if you aren’t already doing so.

Try and do this often.

In this phase of my life, I am very fortunate to be able to spend a lot of time with my two children. They are growing up very fast.

I understand that part of my role as a parent (along with my wife) in my Christian family is the commitment to the caring about all the needs of my family members – emotional, physical, psychological and spiritual. This builds unity.

Remember, the loving times shared by family add to the strength of the individuals and also of the family as a unit. Memories are created when we spend leisure time to play or rest or travel or reading or whatever we like to do.

Make those memories happen. Make it before they grow up and it is too late. Give the most important gift to your children: your time. No amount of money can buy back that time.

Never forget this: Children Learn What They Live.

And also, clean the ‘mirror of love’ with constant and unconditional love – everyday!

I am sure we will all do our best.

Until next time,

a better life, action, adaptation, adequate sleep, ageing, awareness, balance, belief systems, Beliefs, better choices, care empathy, caring, change, change management, children, choices, compassion, creation, dads, dads love, daughters, Energy, examined life, game of life, God, habits, kids, life, long-term perspective, mind, needs, parenting skills, perseverance, relationships, responsibility, self discipline, self improvement, self love, self-respect, sleep, Vitality, you, your life

I am.

My young gritty Viking Pirate Prince already getting in touch with his “feminine side’ and enjoying beauty – in cars, watches, buildings … and others
He has the best coach in the world at his disposal.

A Restful mind in Sleep is a peace of Mind.

Sleep consumes one third of our lives. Yet, most people know little about this daily excursion into our inner world. The exact functions of sleep and dreaming have been debated over the ages but are still not really known.

Sometimes we all find it difficult to fall asleep when we want to, laying there staring at the ceiling, tossing and turning.

Feeling restless.

You may have too much on your mind or not much at all. You may be over-tired or you may not be. You may simply feel restless even though you seek restfulness. For whatever reason, we all find it difficult to fall asleep when we want to. Sometimes.

Some of us, more than others.

I AM.

I. AM.
GOD?

I play many games with my children. They keep evolving. I like to think I do, too.

One particular game I play with my kids is one I call “I AM”.

You see my son has had problems for a while now falling asleep in his bed. As a result my wife and I take multiple trips to and from his room to try and settle him to sleep at night. Most of the time we just let him sleep in our bed. Most of the time he gets away with it. Until not too long ago, I introduced the game to him.

“What’s the name of the game, daddy?” asked my son Zachary.

I said it was called “I am”.

“How do you play it?” asks Zach.

I told him that the objective of the game was for him to say “I am” to every question I asked him. Only that phrase but with a few conditions for him to adhere to:

Lay still
Look me in the eyes
Whisper the answer “I am”

It’s been successfully implemented on almost every night I put my son to sleep. He doses off to sleep as he repeats the answer of “I am” to every question I ask him, most of the time with a little smile on his face.

Every time.

I thought up this game for two main reasons:

To get him to fall asleep with improved regularity and with minimum resistance
To condition his neuro-wiring as a foundation for his strength of mind

My gritty Warrior Viking Pirate 🏴‍☠️ prince 🤴

I know reason number 1 has been achieved so far.

As modern neuroscience confirms sleep (including napping) is critical for the health of your brain and you as a human being. Brain health, neurotransmitter release and sleep are intimately entwined. Studies suggesting that psychiatric disorder and neurodegenerative disease are often connected to some form of sleep/circadian rythym disruption.

So, work on improving your sleep patterns and focus on quality of sleep rather than quantity for your overall health.

Responsible for transmission of critical electrical, chemical & hormonal messages -internal communication

Who’s daddy’s … ?

I will know if reason number 2 is achieved in about 10 years and probably for the rest of his life. Time will tell the fruitfulness of this game that will ultimately be for his benefit.

The questions I ask him are repeated and are quite similar to these:

Who’s daddy’s smartest boy? …. And he would say … “I am”.
Who’s daddy’s kindest boy?
Who’s daddy’s strongest boy?
Who’s daddy’s fastest boy?
Who’s daddy’s caring boy?
Who’s daddy’s happiest boy?
Who’s daddy’s loving boy?
etc

Zachary would fall asleep answering “I am” to every question some of which I repeat. My daughter Olivia, who is two years older does not have problems falling asleep but I also play the game with her.

She loves it. Calms her down even further.

A “sense” of who they are is learned from the first man of significant influence in their lives –
us. Dads.

The power sitting dormant in your subconscious mind.

Just like the many other universal principles in life like for example, water seeks its own level or that matter expands when heated. It is a universal truth that whatever you impress on your subconscious mind is expressed in the physical realm.

It is akin to saying a prayer and your prayer is answered because your subconscious mind is principle. Like all principles, the facts are universal and unchangeable. It is just the way things operate.

Not sometimes. All of the time.

True?
Neuroscience is still at the level of where medicine was in the 1700s
A long way to fully understand who we are….
Who “I AM.”

The Power of Belief.

The subconscious mind works according to the law of belief. The Bible and probably most other religious texts is littered with examples of the power of belief.

I see my children’s minds as a bed of rich soil that will grow whatever types of seeds I plant and intend to grow. I believe in the power of prayer and the law of belief and why this game of “I am” aims to sow thoughts of happiness, goodwill, right action and success in my children’s minds.

Believe or not believe.
Get your ass off the pole of the fence (stop sitting on the fence!)
Choose.

Hopefully, the magic of the ‘compound effect’, like compound interest on a loan or investment … with time, these wonderful seeds of thought in the garden of their minds, will reap a generous harvest for them.

I have always believed that “the world within creates the world without”. This is a truth and there is a definite link between the subconscious and your conscious minds. As I have discovered in my life, and part of my line of work in helping others achieve their best and their goals – the subconscious mind is very sensitive to your conscious mind.

I learned something from my grandfather when I was very young – that nothing can stop you or anyone … but all is as thinking that makes it so.

Watch your thoughts, I say.

Learning and absorbing our habits every single day of their initial phase of their lives is what our young Princes do.
Teach them well.

Learn and apply the most important & powerful LINK.

Having a deeper understanding of this link gives you the power to help accomplish your goals. It is effectively praying and communicating to God.

Believe or not believe.

Prayers always get answered but you have to be a believer. This unwavering belief happens to be the law of the mind.

You have to believe in belief itself!

I will assist in being the captain of their ship in their early years of life, helping them navigate their conscious mind with the understanding that their young subconscious minds will take and accept as true what they confirm in their ‘I am” answers before falling asleep.

A ‘sick day’ from school day for us here, 4 years ago now.
Enjoying the entertainment at Sydney’s beautiful Luna Park.
I never let schooling interfere with my or my family’s education.

Simple is uncomplicating Beauty.

“I am”: a very simple, yet powerful affirmation of nobody else but – ‘you’. An affirmation of the communication from your conscious mind to your subconscious mind. It is simple, yet complex … and Un-complicating of Real Beauty.

A prayer. Repeated.

Beauty comes in the human form.
It is a living masterpiece.
On display, from a masterful poser/artist, the human body exemplifies beauty and truth rolled in to vibrating ball of flow of muscle.
The hard part is to CREATE beauty. We all have the ability within us.
To create a beauty through the human form is genius.
Providing the scaffolding for your childs(ren) character building towards a ‘beautiful character’ is like sculpturing a great physique.
Everything matters, however, small it is.
GIGO for their minds:
If you want to create champions and leaders , feed them daily champion & leadership thoughts.

Try it, see how you feel after a month.

Try this game with your kids and see if it helps with their sleeping. Try it for a month. The main benefit however, is in the strengthening of the mind. Just like building good quality muscles you have got to be persistent and consistent with daily application of the relevant principles.

You could even try it with older kids (adults) too. Maybe even you. Just change the affirmation questions and find a quiet time and place (preferably just before falling asleep) and create a better you.

Create a better life from within starting with “I am”.

The old Cap’n Viking Pirate.
Me, a Simple-complex Man.

Remember: you reap (your destiny) what your sow (your seeds of thought).

Until next time,

Cheers & Ahoy!!

The Old Cap’n Viking Pirate … & thoughts and words on belief, subconscious mind and I am.

The Brain 🧠.
The mind.
I AM.

action, awareness, Goals

The inspiration in YOU.

It has only been a few hours in to the New Year’s first day and I have just woken up. I sit here in my bed typing this blog.

My kids have woken up, got their dose of holiday chocolates from me and are watching their favourite morning cartoon tv. My wife is reading articles on her tablet.

A typical day in the Valentine household in this phase of our life.

We witnessed a fantastic New Year’s Eve fireworks display on Sydney’s Harbour bridge and surrounding areas at 9pm last night. Our children loved it. My son asked to be lifted on to my shoulders on our 3 minute walk home and fell asleep by the time we returned. What a day and night it was for both of them. Stimulated on all their senses to the nth degree.

The day before, I met an old University mate at a local tavern for a few drinks and catch up as we watched Australia play test cricket on the big screen. The venue was packed. You didn’t have to strain very hard to overhear other patrons’ conversations. There were all sorts of topics – relationships, politics, the state of the economy, the state of the world and personal affairs and so on. One particular conversation struck me for the briefest of moments and it went something like this:

“Where did the year go aye mate?” I heard the person sitting in the table to the left of me say.

“I don’t know, just been so busy” came a reply.

“Yep, very busy for me too” confirmed the first speaker.

Got me thinking.

Got me thinking about time and moments and the insatiable desire to ‘rush’ through life.

As I reflect on that piece of conversation and the year that has been I ask myself questions about the speeded up, frentic culture that most of us live in our modern world and the best use of our time, of our 86,400 seconds of each day.

Most of us talk about being ‘busy’ like it was an Olympic sport. Everyone seems to be going through their day and subsequently, their year ‘busier’ than everyone else they know. So much so, that if they weren’t doing something productive, wise or useful, they would experience a sense of panic.

Have you sensed that panic?

Whilst I can understand the desire to be busy, or at least looking busy (most office workers would know this especially if there is an ‘open plan office layout’), I argue that going at ‘full throttle’ all day, every day, may not be the best use of your time.

It is important to slow down and take stock.

Maybe, just maybe you should consider just for a moment, the best use of your time at this time of the year is to do absolutely nothing instead of being ‘busy’ or looking busy to get the most out of your 2015. Yes, that’s right – do absolutely nothing before you start working on your New Year’s goals and resolutions for 2015. I am sure you and most people you know aim to or are working through goal-setting for the year already.

Sometimes, when you slow down and pause or stop for a little while, you increase your sense of awareness. This increased awareness taps in to the wisdom that is in each and every one of us and reveals answers to the questions you need answers to.

You need to be a little patient. It is worth the wait.

However, this takes a bit of courage as you need to exercise a bit of humility to admit that “you don’t know the answer” to everything and in particular, that ‘you don’t know what to do with the moment you’re in”. This takes a bit of practise. It is not as easy as it sounds.

When your subconscious mind accepts that it does not know all the answers, it sets forth a series of steps that allows this inner wisdom, this inner voice inside of you to spring forth. You just need to do one thing –

You need to quiet the mind.

By quietening the mind, you give yourself the best chance to allow that voice, that source of inspiration in you to reveal itself to you. You don’t need to wait to be inspired by people who climb Mount Everest or complete marathons. You don’t need to wait to be inspired by survivors of cancers or other killers of our time – God bless them. No, you don’t need to wait to be inspired by your teachers, your spouse, your partner or your coach. No. You don’t need to wait to get inspiration from quotes thrown about on various social media sites.

No. You just need to learn to be a little bit more patient, slow down and pause. Pause long enough to allow you to quiet the mind.

And listen.

Allow the inspiration in you to spring forth. It may take a few minutes but sometimes it may take a little longer. Be patient.

Doing absolutely nothing, not being busy, may just allow you to tap in to the inspiration – the wisdom that is in you and every one of us. This may just be the very thing that you need to help you to springboard you towards achieving your goals and New Year’s Resolutions for 2015 and beyond.

You may surprise yourself with the wealth of wisdom and the inspiration in you.

All the best!

Until next time,

Changing lives. Empowering people. One life at a time.

Triple A to Life: Awareness. Action. Adaptation.

Tag Archives: a better life

12.5 of Life’s Living Tips to live by.

Animal “types” you may encounter in the gym.

We all stink.

Two sides of the same coin.

Don’t wait for Perfect.

Nobody can teach you WHO YOU ARE.

Give ‘The Finger’ and feel good about it.

The Mirror of Love.

I am.

The inspiration in YOU.