Category Archives: faith

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A life of significance.

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For me, empowering individuals seeking to be better versions of themselves through education brings about change aligned with their goals. They achieve positive change in their lives … and I feel a sense of satisfaction of watching them grow wings to fly into possibilities.

Purpose, Connection and Impact

If you are a regular reader of my messages, you will notice that I think a lot about life and I am constantly asking a lot of questions from life. I admit, I am a student of life.

My years of interacting with thousands of people in gyms, including seven years when I owned my own gym, I have learned a lot about life from other people’s experiences(OPE’s) and stories. I have had over 30,000 coaching conversations with individuals and groups over the last 3 decades.

A question I have always asked is what does it mean to live your life, in particular – to live a life of significance? I feel that this is one of the most important aspects of a life well lived. What do you think? I think if I remember correctly, it was the writer Henry Thoreau that said something to the effect that he was afraid of coming to the end of life and finding that he had NOT LIVED.

I think Henry meant, coming to the end of your life and realising that you have not lived a life of significance. That was a genuine fear of his. Now, I am tempted to say that I am not genuinely afraid about anything – but that is not true. One of my main fears is insignificance. I am afraid, to put it simply, of living a life that does not matter. I admit I am afraid of leaving the world exactly as I entered and found it, no different for my having been here.

To not live a life of significance.

What about you? Is this one of your fears? Have you had a chance to think about this question in your journey through life so far? From my experience, purpose, connection and impact are three keys to living a Life of Significance.

From my observations of life so far, I have noticed that a lot of people think that “having lived” means experiencing a lot of adventures or a lot of fun and experiences or indeed – acquiring a lot of money. I think otherwise. I think these peoples’ perception of what it means to ‘have lived’ is slightly distorted and are missing the true significance of what it entails in my eyes.

Help people get what they want using your unique strengths and blessings. Vv.

Help people get what they want using your unique strengths and blessings. Here is former Australian Rugby Union Captain & Champion Leader and human being – Mr Phil Waugh doing an essential part of my “Peak Performance’ programs – weight training in the gym MY WAY…. with efficiency & effectiveness and always under the Safety Umbrella. Allowing yourself to be more coachable enables you to get distilled knowledge from the BEST … in quick time. If you want to be your BEST, learn from someone who can SHOW YOU HOW. Phil does as he has a Champion attitude and champion feelings and a ‘growth mind-set’. Vv.

Things that last forever

Along with spending about eight years in my early youth as a Catholic altar boy, assisting priests in church masses and bible readings, I’ve spent countless hours of listening to hundreds of stories through OPE’s, and am also a keen observer of life. I believe, this common modern-day definition of living has nothing to do with ‘having lived.’ The usual things people seek to guarantee importance in their lives – typically money, fame, power – just don’t last.

Money, fame and power don’t work very well and yet, generation after generation are still blinded and brainwashed to believe that they are the answer. History is littered with countless examples that it is a lie, short-term  and inauthentic.

These false drivers – money, fame and power all come to an end. Often, during the person’s own life, and certainly thereafter.

“So, how do you live a life of significance?” you may be thinking.

Instead of the individual’s endless pursuit of more money, fame and power, I believe living a life of significance comes with filling your life with things that last forever.

“And what are these things that last forever?” you may now be asking.

Well, these things that last forever are essentially VALUES. Yep, values! And what is the greatest value of all? Love! Put simply, you need to fill your life with love and lots of it! Love casts out all fears.

What is love? At this stage in your life, you would highly likely have some idea of what it is. Well, one definition is that it is an emotional attachment to the good things of life. So, fall in love with traits such as honesty, integrity, justice, goodwill, forgiveness, truth, grace and yes – success.

I think ultimately, you continue to live in hope – in the joyous expectancy of the best, and invariably the best will come to you. Through God’s blessing.

It follows that to live a life of significance, you need to fill your life as much as possible with these values, attitudes and actions. So, start with trying to make someone else’s life a little better, using the God-given talents and strengths you have been given. This is a great start to significant living, as you have done something that lasts forever – in that person’s (his or her) heart.

Something that is eternal. A gift from you.

That impact you had on that individual or individuals is eternal because people are the only part of this world that will last forever …

Brad seeked; Brad asked the right questions; Brad knocked on the doors of opportunity towards the person he imagined himself to be. With my guidance

Brad seeked; Brad asked the right questions; Brad knocked on the doors of opportunity towards the person he imagined himself to be.
With my guidance

Except Love

As we are constantly reminded daily by media, today’s modern world is filled with many threats – many imagined, some real – threats to our sense of security and safety. Today, more than ever before, you need to be in the right relationship with God. This is the ultimate security, the only true safety as he is the beginning and the end – God, as you know is the perfect giver of love.

If you are a Christian you will believe that God was there before the beginning and he has no end. He has known our fears and sufferings.

Life plays no favourites. God is life, and this life-principle is flowing through you at this moment, as you read and think upon these words. Believe that through him, you will be set free…. to live a life of significance.

Before I go, remember that you owe nothing to anyone in this world except love. In it’s simplest form, love is basically wishing for everyone what you wish for yourself – health, happiness and success (in that order) and all the blessings of life.

This is my wish for you, your family and your friends.

All the best in your choice of how to live your one life.

 

Until next time,

Become increasingly aware … take actions (sufficient & appropriate) and adapt accordingly.
My Triple A to self – development.

 

 

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Seek, Ask and Knock on the door.

A student seeks answers summons courage to ask the question. To seek and ask is humility in practise. With faith and hard work, opportunity presents a door to knock on. A great teacher helps his/her student step through the door with desire, not fear. Vv.

A student seeks answers summons courage to ask the question.
To seek and ask is humility in practise. With faith and hard work, opportunity presents a door to knock on.
A great teacher helps his/her student step through the door with desire, not fear.
Vv.

“Seek and ye shall find; ask and ye shall receive” as it says in the Gospel.

But how many of us really ask questions? How many of us seek out help and show our vulnerability? How many of us knock at the door of opportunity when it presents itself?

We should seek, ask and knock on the door or doors that come across in life as we can never be hundred percent certain what we will find on the other side of the door. This can be scary predicament for many but we can choose to look at it only through two possibilities:

  • Fear
  • Desire

I would prefer to look at it through the latter option, wouldn’t you?

To ask could be said to be adopting a life lived with an ‘open hand’ rather than one that is closed. To ask opens you up to vulnerability as you choose to depend on someone other than yourself. To ask is humility in practise.

I always tell my children that they should never be afraid to ask a question but I also tell them that knowing all the answers is not as important as asking the right question!

As individuals mature in to adults, it seems that the ability and need to ask lessens and people lose their curiosity and child-like abilities to ask questions. Maybe it is partly due to not wanting to ‘look like a fool’ asking ‘silly questions’. But, like I said asking is very humbling.

To seek and especially to ask could likely also mean:

  • I failed.
  • I came up short.
  • I’m not prepared.
  • I don’t know.
  • I ran out.
  • I’m not sure.
  • I don’t understand.
  • I didn’t care.
  • I need more information.
  • I was wrong.
  • I didn’t listen.
  • I forgot.
  • I didn’t ship.

You get the picture.

But it is better to ask than not to ask. For one thing, it shows you care enough to ask and I think that is a good trait to have.

There is a dilemma though – from a Christian-point-of-view, Christianity and it’s teachings could be seen as no more than an excellent system that provides answers to most, if not all of life’s questions. However, to admit any short-comings is to be less than a good Christian, wouldn’t it?

That is not fair.

Brad seeked; Brad asked the right questions; Brad knocked on the doors of opportunity towards the person he imagined himself to be. With my guidance

Brad seeked; Brad asked the right questions; Brad knocked on the doors of opportunity towards the person he imagined himself to be.
With my guidance

Not asking and not seeking may serve you in the short term but could prove very risky in the long term, especially if you unknowingly shut out God.

Claiming to be wise, you become a fool. Individuals who exchange the truth of God for a lie and worship man-made creations close doors that they may have been destined to knock on.

We should always keep in mind that our relationship with God is one of vulnerable dependence. One which assumes a need relationship with him – a hand-to-mouth spiritual existence.

So, we, as Christians should never stop seeking answers and never stop asking. To ask is to be on the same side of the track with God. It is important to not only stay on the track with God but more importantly stay on the same side of the track. This is what it means to have faith – unwavering faith in God and the answers he provides.

Increasingly, modern society seeks and rushes to fill every felt wants and needs. Increasingly society steals away the souls of individuals in order to sell it back at a price. What a way to learn false answers. Life is too short not to ask questions, the right questions.

The most important question is to ask yourself what your relationship with Jesus and with God is. When you get that right and rekindle it, you then find the strength to seek the right path, ask the right questions and knock on the right doors.

Opportunity sometimes comes clothed in an over-coat.

Keep seeking, keep asking and don’t be afraid to knock on the doors (opportunities) that come your way in life, knowing that you can always depend on your God for answers to your life’s questions. You will discover that answers will come to you in a diversity which reflects the mystery of God himself.

There is one thing I am absolutely certain of and that is: he (God) will be making certain that those who seek and ask questions will be finding and that doors will be opened to you.

 

Until next time,

Ex-Australian Wallaby Captain - Phil Waugh performing a set of squats. Using good exercise technique(which includes proper breathing) is paramount to success. His humility in asking questions allowed him to achieve goals of better balance and symmetry, amongst other things. Vv.

Ex-Australian Wallaby Captain – Phil Waugh performing a set of squats.
Using good exercise technique(which includes proper breathing) is paramount to success.
His humility in asking questions allowed him to achieve goals of better balance and symmetry, amongst other things.
Vv.

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Christmas salvation.

Imagine. Believe.

Imagine. Believe.

Christmas is a few days away and it got me thinking.

What does Christmas mean to you?

For me, it has always meant a lot, it meant and still means everything. It means a celebration of a birth, a life, a saviour of the world of one of the most influential person that has ever walked this earth.

Does Christmas mean everything to you too? What does it mean to you?

Or is it just about getting together with friends and families and drinking, eating and merry-making? Or is it about present giving and Santa Claus? There’s a few sitting under our Christmas tree. Or is it about being alone? What does Christmas mean to you?

Like I said, for me, Christmas means everything – it means LIFE.

It is a beginning and it is an end.

It is a time of chaos and a time of order.

It is a time of darkness and a time of light.

It is a time of reflection and a time of hope.

It is a time of aloneness and a time of interaction.

It is a time of blessed relief and imagining and believing all of God’s promises manifest itself in to that one person – Jesus Christ.

Amongst all the chaos and loudness and joyousness of the Christmas period, take a moment or two if you can to try and imagine what it was like for this little baby that was born in to poverty. This little baby that we all believe was and is the saviour of the world.

A little baby called Jesus.

Imagine what the conditions were like during the time of his birth. There might have only been one candle inside the stable. Today, Christmas, like Diwali in the hindu calendar is a celebration of light and you don’t need to look very hard to see it before your eyes in your own neighbourhood – beautifully designed lighting on houses and buildings.

Many people today associate Christmas being filled with the ones you love with lots of noise and laughter. Wonderful version of the truth.

When Jesus was born, I imagine the place located on a hill outside Jerusalem would have wreaked with loneliness. So, for those of you that may feel a sense of loneliness during this time and in particular, on Christmas day don’t be. You’re not alone, you have good company. Jesus too was very lonely at birth.

Jesus’s birth certainly wasn’t in luxury. You could imagine the toughness and roughness of the trough that he laid in. The trough or what was a similar to a modern-day baby cot, he felt at birth may have been as cruel a place as the cross he felt at his death. The end was like the beginning for Jesus. What will your end be like?

What about his first gasp for air? What about his first few cries, what would they have been like to welcome in to this world? I imagine that his infant cries we may have heard coming from stable may have been no less desperate and heart-piercing than his final cry on the cross. I wonder if some of the shouts and yells on Christmas and New Year’s Eve celebrations this year will be for the pain our saviour cried out over during his arrival and departure from this world. Our world, the world he came to save.

A variation of the 'back single biceps" pose ... on the beach. The combination of chaos + order = Life.

A variation of the ‘back single biceps” pose … on the beach.
The combination of chaos + order = Life.

So, what is Christmas to you?

Celebrate? You say. Yes, of course, I say. Celebrate and be merry!

But if you have a little time, try to … imagine and … project yourself back to that lonely stable and try to imagine celebrating, most heartily with food and wine and dance amidst the stench of the stable. Do you know what that dung-like smell that existed in that little stable could represent today? It could represent the refuse of the world – the ugliness, the hatred, the selfishness, the rubbish.

And when you hope for a better New Year, try imagining celebrating at the foot of that painful cross. And why do I leave you with that ghastly image – not to sound negative, but to point out that that image of us at the foot of that cross is the one and only thing that really keeps that ‘life force’ lit in you for yet another day.

Do you know what that life force is? It is that image that epitomises the whole foundation of Christianity and the whole reason we have Christmas. That image of us Christians at the foot of his cross is the ending and the beginning. It is our belief – our hope. It is the essence of what it means to be a Christian. The unwavering belief and hope that that little baby boy born in to poverty and rejected by many, died for all our sins.

Hope – that is all that we are and all that we will ever truly have within us for as long as we are alive.

Christmas for Christians is the celebration of the saviour of the world! Believe. Really believe. There is a passage that has always stayed with me since my youth:

“Ask and ye shall receive; seek and ye shall find.” Achieve your salvation at Christmas, through Jesus – our saviour.

From me to you – Merry Christmas.

Imagine then. Live and be ALIVE now. Imagine and hope for a better future. A better YOU.

Amen.

 

Until next time,

Push-ups on the local beach. Basics can be hard work!

Push-ups on the local beach. Basics can be hard work!

~~Life & wellness COACH~~

~~Life & wellness COACH~~

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Daddies … and Daughters.

My beautiful daughter and I enjoying “Daddy-daughter time” on the Ferris Wheel at Luna Park in amazing Sydney, Australia.

I love my daughter. I would give my life for her.

I am sure most dads would do this for their daughter, too. But, we hope we never have to.

We have built a great relationship so far in her life and we enjoy our weekly “Daddy-daughter Day” time together, where there is no one else but her and I. We share each other’s company for part of a day. We just hang out. Sometimes, we say a lot, sometimes we don’t.

I cherish these moments.

I know I will miss these moments when she is all grown up and embracing her journey through adulthood. I hope it will take up a little special place in her memories of her time with me in time to come. I am looking forward to making more memories with her.

I am sure most, if not all the dads reading this and around the world have their own special relationship with their daughter(s). What a special gift it is to have.

My daughter and I.
I cherish every moment I have with her.
She allows me to be Mr Vulnerable too.
Vv.

We all know that girls, as well as boys, can go ‘off-track’ in later years, without the right guidance at home. What a responsibility it is for us, parents. I believe it is probably the most important investment, apart from education, that we are blessed to have in our lives.

The best counselling services in the best institutions and schools seldom make up for a lack of guidance from a present, and good father and mother. Some families tackle this responsibility singularly (single-parent families) and I take my hat off to them as I think it is a little easier tackling this huge responsibility as a team.

A father and mother team.

I have learned (from my experience with my daughter and from what I have learned from the hundreds of parents I have met and helped over the last 20 years) that daughters want you be the Chief Executive Officer (CEO) of the household on some matters only. All the other matters rests with the other co-CEO – her mother.

I believe it is important that daughters observe in her mother a wise, intelligent, caring woman who loves you, respects and can talk to you about all the important issues in the family. She needs to find comfort in a woman’s kind of wisdom and courage and patience in her mother …. That only a mother who tries, can provide.

I am blessed that my daughter’s mother, my beautiful wife – Cathy, is all this and much, much more. My daughter is blessed to have a mother like her, the woman I chose to spend the rest of my life with. Makes me very blessed too.

I have 2/16th Maori blood.
A touch of Polynesian-ness with flowers and necklaces brings smiles to the heart.
Here’s my one and only gritty Warrior Viking Pirate Princess

However, this blog is about daddies …. and daughters. What does she want to see in you – her dad? Well, I think your daughter would want to see in you an intelligent man’s viewpoint about life plus the ability to share the leading role of the household, with her mother in a life-affirming way. A fatherly way that is the essence for you.

Then, she can learn to love you as her father as well as a fine man … a fine, gentleman.

Dads reading this, remember – YOU ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT MAN IN HER YOUNG LIFE. I believe she ought to build her life according to what she sees in yours, or at the very least, give her a skeleton of a framework for her to build on (or subtract from). This can be done in a few areas:

  • Your wisdom – to withhold judgement until you have gathered all the facts, with emphasis on patience (which is lacking in the world today).
  • Your kindness – and care towards others who have not been able to get along in life due to no real fault of their own.
  • Your ability to forgive – those who have done wrong, seeing this forgiving energy flow freely without the need to hold grudges. She needs to see you rise to a higher consciousness level.
  • Your courage – to face seemingly impossible odds and the power of your belief and unwavering faith.
  • Your uncommon sense – uncommon because ‘common sense’ does not seem common any more. It is an hybrid of all these traits and more.

All these facets of being a dad rests with you, it rests in you. No one else can demonstrate this any better than you can. You need to show this in your actions. If, and this is a big if, IF you put your mind to it and you give it a go.

My children striking their version of one of the seven compulsory poses in bodybuilding – the “Front-double biceps” pose.
… and strike!

Her mother can show her all the traits of a fine woman and she can replicate it for her young adult life but you, the father, the daddy, is the proto-type of what her ‘man’ is.

Your example of what a good man is like, will be priceless to her …. Even if you sing off tune in the car every now and then or have the accidental fart leak out that would make even skunks run for air.

Tell her when you make a mistake, that every good superhero is a little flawed. Tell her that you are a flawed superhero and that you learn from your mistakes. Tell her that you grow the most through your mistakes, your failures. Show her how not to fear, failure. Tell her that you succeed through failure. Tell her that you’re a constant ‘work-in-progress’ but that you will always do and be YOUR BEST for her.

Just because you love her.

Being a good dad is fun. Being a great dad is a challenge. Being a dad is a blessing. Do the very best you can … and cherish those “daddy … daughter” moments.

It’s these moments that you will take with you in to the next realm when you depart this life. Your soul will carry it away … when you’re gone, but you can hope that these moments will remain in the heart and memories of your daughter(s).

That hopefully, will remind her (when everyone else forgets), that you were once here and walked this planet with her.

Until next time,

Zachary and Olivia with their good friend - Ruby. They just adore one another.

Zachary and Olivia with their good friend – Ruby. They just adore one another.

Does your daughter think you’re her hero 🦸‍♂️?

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Live. Die. With dignity.

 


Most of us would agree that food, shelter and water are the most basic of our needs. Beyond this, most of us would disagree as to which needs are more important – it depends on the person and the circumstance I guess.

I think you can adhere to a simple, yet, powerful advice from the wise Marcus Aurelius –

“if it is not right, don’t do it: if it is not true, don’t say it”

Maslow’s hierarchy pyramid puts these most basic of human needs in a category called “physiological needs” along with sex. There are 5 levels and we progress to the next level only when the lower levels are satisfied.

There are safety needs and then belonging/love needs (which includes family, friends and sexual intimacy). From there we strive to satisfy our ‘esteem’ needs and beyond that we reach ‘self-actualization’ needs. Only 1 in 100 people actually reach this level according to Maslow.

I wrote about the most fundamental of human existence in a previous blog and that is – ‘freedom’. A big word this is and can be defined in many different ways.

Every one of us live in fear in one form or another, every day as we go about our lives. Fear comes in many forms and when it exists, freedom is sacrificed. I would go on to say that there are many societies in the world today whose people actually accept and are content to live under fear.

Good people cannot stand by and let injustice happen … which removes the key element of Freedom – dignity.

It is amazing that in today’s world where technology is changing at an exponential rate, some of the most basic of human needs like freedom are not or have not changed for the better in centuries.

One such human need that is taken away when freedom is removed is ‘dignity’. This is usually the result of control through fear.

To be a complete human, however, I believe each and every one of us need to be allowed to live our lives with dignity. When people live in fear or when freedom is taken away, their ‘human-ness’ is taken away and this is experienced at different levels.

The very essence of feeling human is lost. One loses his/her dignity where the very foundation of what it means to be ‘human’ is swept away from under you. You lose control over your existence and destiny.

This is one of the worst feelings one could ever have to endure while being alive. This, I believe, is worse than going without food or water. Dignity is a far more important need.

Being deprived of dignity for a prolonged period increases the risk of losing hope. And when you lose hope, you lose the desire to live. Not a good place to be.

If you went without food and water for long enough, you will die. If your freedom was taken away from you long enough, you will either die or become rebellious. The significant difference between these deaths is that if you die without food and water, you can still die with dignity.

We all need to live and die with dignity.

True. Allow citizens to live & die with dignity.

It is a need. A most basic, most fundamental need.

So, stop for a few seconds and say a prayer for all those people in societies (including ours) all around the world who live in fear and who are deprived of the need to live their daily lives with dignity.

Pray that they may find the courage and fortitude to continue seeking this very essence of self-actualization that Maslow refers to. Pray that they be given the very thing that makes them fully human. Pray that they get their dignity back.

If they aren’t given their dignity back, pray that they take it back. Let us all pray that each and every one of them garner enough voice to say ‘no’ to the injustice they experience. The word ‘no’ is perhaps the greatest expression of human dignity possible.

Say ‘no’ to any form of control through fear!

Let us pray that they gather enough wisdom to know that you cannot find without seeking. You cannot hear without listening and not having the luxury of saying no and enough is enough is to make worthless any acts of seeking or hearing or doing.

Effort alone is not enough.

You must believe and hope that freedom from all forms of fear is possible and deserving of you.

Choose to say ‘no’ to anyone or anything that forces you to be someone you’re not. Keep your dignity. Don’t sell your soul.

Be yourself – always.

Live. Die. With dignity.

 

Until next time,

Wonderful insight in to the mind of a Great Leader.
Be courageous. Everything stems from courage. Never let anyone or anything tear your dignity from you.

Patience & love is vital to each individual, each community, each nation and the world 🌎.

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4 Skills my kids have helped me strengthen.

A light jog on a local beach ....

A light jog on a local beach ….

  1. Imagination

My children have quite vivid imagination. When my daughter decides to play ‘pretend’ situations she really gets into the roles. From the start to the end of the game, she ‘becomes’ the role she chooses to be. It could be a princess or a fairy or a warrior. She dresses up like the character and immerses herself in to the role and if I mistakenly call her by her real name, she either does not respond to “Olivia” or she just reprimands me.

I have learned pretty fast not to go out of character until we have both agreed to. This has only strengthened my imagination. Try working on yours too, if you feel it needs improvement.

Remember: If you can’t conceive (imagination), and don’t believe, you won’t achieve.

2. Persistence

This is another of life’s lessons that keeps coming up in relation to the achievement of any worthwhile goal you set for yourself, whatever field you choose to be in. Persistence is a critical element of goal achievement, especially when the ‘going gets tough’ and you hit hurdles along the way which you almost inevitably will. She reminded me of this very early in her existence.

If my son or daughter wants something, say chocolate for example, they will not stop asking for it even if it takes all day. They persist with requests until they get it, despite all the rejections they receive. They will find all sorts of ways to approach it and find new ways of persuasion and ‘getting their way’. They just don’t accept the word ‘no’. They find a solution.

They just don’t give up! …. and so should you.

  1. Blind faith

My son and I have been wrestling on the living room floor almost every day ever since he was a few months old. He enjoys the “rough-housing” games we play and is getting very good at it now and growing increasingly stronger each time we tumble and rumble. Sometimes he gets up on the couch and jumps on to me. He has no hesitation nor fear. He just launches himself in the air like a professional wrestler in the direction of me on the floor.

He has no fear of being hurt because it seems he believes that I will ALWAYS catch him. I always have so far. We have had some close calls with regards to him missing me and landing on the floor and seriously hurting himself but that is as close as it gets: close.

I love this blind faith that he has. This belief that I will always catch him. His belief in me. It’s this sort of blind faith or belief that you need when you’re pursuing your goal, your dreams even in the face of insurmountable odds and risks. Sitting on the fence and over-analysing the situation, sometimes can fester more fear which leads to more fence-sitting and in-decision.

Sometimes you learn better by ‘doing. Sometimes you need to leap before you think. Sometimes you need to walk before you can crawl. Sometimes you need to – Just DO IT!

  1. Enthusiasm

Enthusiasm and zest for life is one of the most under-rated traits of human beings. Everyone highly prizes academic intelligence, musical intelligence, spacial intelligence, mechanical intelligence, physical intelligence etc. Well and good. These can all be measured and managed. I believe, however that many people over-look enthusiasm.

What is enthusiasm? Well, I simply define enthusiasm as the ability to think positive every single day. Yes, I know that is very difficult. But, I think you should try it if you haven’t already being doing so. It is important that you take back control of your mind and make the conscious choice to do so. I help people do just this in my line of work and I thank God my children remind me of this every day as their enthusiasm and zest for life is beautiful and contagious.

This force of energy in direction of thought fills you with vitality and when it is transmuted or focused through the right channels, it generates even more energy – it not only adds years to your life but life into your years.

Before I go I would like to take this opportunity to thank my two children – Zachary and Olivia for raising my awareness of and in the improvement of these 4 skills.

I hope this helps you too.

 

Until next time,

Having fun with a star jump!

Having fun with a star jump!

Side Triceps.

Side Triceps.

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An attitude of gratitude.

Some wise person once said:

“Its not your aptitude, but your attitude that determines your altitude in life.”

Pretty wise words, don’t you think? You probably don’t need to look very far – look at the immediate people in your circle of life to see examples of this aphorism.

Maybe even you.

Being grateful for all that we have is a way of thinking.

You probably have your own way of giving appreciation to whoever you speak to. Whichever way it is, the essence of it is communication and routine. Ideally, giving thanks should be done daily and not only when you’re in real trouble or at a special occasion, like a funeral for example.

It can be done at any time convenient for you.

Me – I try and say a prayer of thanks every time I eat a meal. That is a minimum of six times a day. You pray for the meal to be blessed, thank the good Lord (or whatever higher force you believe in) for your blessings and ask for continued blessings for you, your family and friends and the world at large.

My wife and I have always prayed together, before consuming our meals and we also try to say a prayer before sleeping at night. Our kids have come along and they also join us in prayer. They take turns in leading the prayers now that they are both older.

It’s a family habit. Part of our daily routines.

But I believe there is more to gratitude. It not only reminds us of not taking anything for granted. It humbles us. It puts a certain level of perspective on life.

It is essentially the choice of attitude of the person and their attitude to life. There is magic in being grateful. There is magic in having a thankful spirit.

This magic, I believe, is POWER.

Yes, power!

How is that, you may ask?

Well, I believe a thankful spirit has the power to overcome anger with love; it has the power to subordinate fear with courage; it replaces sadness with happiness and has the power to feel not jealousy but genuine joy at another’s success.

Having a thankful spirit and an attitude of gratitude has the power to inspire productivity and innovation over lack of creativity. Being grateful releases guilt with an heart of forgiveness.

An attitude of gratitude has the power to allow one to grow with an abundance of love
and self-sharing over greed and hatred.

It is a form of power, not as you know it but power none-the-less. An intangible one at times.

So, there you have it, some reasons why I believe that an attitude of gratitude is power.

Knowing that it is a form of power is not power. No, ‘knowing’ is potential power. Applying an attitude of gratitude on a daily basis, now that is power. The power rests in the choosing.

Check your attitude and work on your attitude of gratitude if you think you need to. You may just surprise yourself with how much more you get out of life, by giving more in to it, through choosing your best attitude, always.

Feel, really feel, that intangible power.

Start with a ‘reverse bucket list’ to put some structure to it. Some people do.

What is it? Well, a reverse bucket list is simply a list of things you have done, places you’ve visited and opportunities you have experienced in your life to date. How is this an exercise of gratitude you may be thinking?

You see, when you write it down and then look over what you have written, you can reminisce and be grateful for what you have achieved and done in your life so far. You may even shock and surprise yourself with what you have achieved.

Keep adding to that list as the seconds of life tick by …reminding yourself how lucky you are to be breathing and living life.

When I take my first breath upon waking every morning, I say a quick prayer of thanks to my God, thanking him for being alive. That is the best gift, I believe, anyone alive has been granted.

My whole focus from that moment on is to see how it is that I can be of service to and help people get what they want out of life to the best of my ability.

Also, remember, its not just about adding years to your life, its also important to add life in to those years.

Ask yourself how are you going to best achieve that?

Hint: reflect and give thanks.

Until next time,

Balance & symmetry brings you closer to harmony … to beauty …closer to infinity. Just like mathematics does

 

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Reach out for your potential.

 

Relaxed.

Relaxed.

Have you reached your potential – in your field of expertise?

Yes? Well, congratulations!

However, if you said “no” then you would probably make up the majority of people reading this blog and in the world (me included). That’s ok, too.

My question is: “Why Not?”.

What do you think are some of the factors that most often prevent the anyone from reaching his or her greatest potential – in whatever field? In my experience as a coach helping people of all ages and skill levels over the last two decades I’ve heard many barriers or excuses that people have told me regarding why they don’t or cannot make the time to go to the gym. Many, believe me.

What I have learned is that when you funnel out all the cr#p and lies people tell themselves, there appears to be two common barriers that often prevent most people from performing to their fullest. A barrier to ‘giving their all’. A barrier to ‘never giving up on themselves’. What do you think it is? Yep, some of you may have guessed it.

The first, as I see it, is a pattern of failures and past mistakes. When each of us look back honestly on our lives so far, we would all notice that we have made countless mistakes. Had a thousand failures. The second related barrier that appears to be holding people back is fear of failure. Yes, that other ‘F’ word: FAILURE.

Someone once said that “Failure is success deferred”. Very true. The key is patience. Most very successful people in all fields of life, most people that have reached the top of their professions or field of expertise, have all failed. Not once, but multiple times in the process of achieving success, of reaching out for their true potential. If you are going to fail, you might as well, fail big, someone once said. So, don’t be afraid to fail, if you’re going to do it in the pursuit of reaching success, then go ahead: Fail big.

Fail big – learn big!

If you’re a Christian, you, like me, may view these barriers through a different set of lenses or perspective. What I mean to say is that from a Christian perspective, the basic tenets of Christianity addresses these challenges most of us face throughout our lives and helps us remove these two major barriers.

As I recall from my early teachings in Catholic classes, being a Christian, we are taught that our past is forgiven; we are taught from a young age that we can start over with a ‘clean slate’. That making mistakes is a very natural part of life. And because of this, it gives Christians the resolve to trust that the mistakes of the past need not hold them back. It need not hold anyone back, even if you are not a Christian (and you are aware of possibilities). Everyone makes mistakes. Accept that. It reminds us that we are ‘human’ and ‘not perfect’.

So, it follows, according to the belief instilled in Christianity, we are taught and encouraged to never fear the “F” word – failure, that modern society looks upon as a taboo subject to talk about. That other “F’ word that everyone is afraid to open up and admit: Failure. As a Christian, because of our faith, we accept that we are not in total control of our lives, that ultimately, God (or whatever God you worship) is in control of your life.

Don’t mis-interpret me, please.

It does not mean that you start thinking that you will always get what you want or always win every competition you enter or always have things go your way or never get fired or never fail in an endeavour. No, it does not mean any of this at all. It does mean, however, that through your faith, and belief – that God can bring good out of every experience for those who trust in him.

The stronger your trust. The stronger your faith. The stronger your belief in God, you do not need to worry about failing. So, go ahead, people, pursue your dreams. Start the projects you’ve always intended to do but procrastinated because you were reminded of your past failures and you fear failing AGAIN.

If the burden, chains and memories of past mistakes or anxiety about failing in the future is removed, you would be FREE to FOCUS, wouldn’t you? To focus on doing your very BEST in the PRESENT. Makes sense doesn’t it? Yes, it does, if you are a Christian. Even if you are not and don’t belong to a religion, you could still see the gift that Christians have.

This is fundamentally how a real, personal Christian faith can liberate souls in need around the world. Around your world, maybe? It is the awareness of these basic Christian tenets and faith that can make it a little easier for anyone – yes, just like you, to reach out for his or her highest potential.

Having said that, I realize a lot of people think the idea of a ‘personal relationship’ with God (or a higher force – your God) sounds disturbingly exclusive, somehow presumptive, and more than a little pious. I do respect these peoples’ perspective. They just have not allowed themselves to be made aware of such consciousness. I thought the same thing when I was a young Catholic, questioning my belief, my faith … many, many years ago. But, life taught me otherwise.

According to the Bible, this idea of having a personal relationship with God isn’t at all presumptive. It was God’s idea in the first place. And it is not exclusive. It is available to anyone who accepts God’s offer. It is not too late for anyone to make that relationship and agreeing to the consideration on offer: your trust, your faith, your belief in him/her.

Then …. reach out (with both hands and with all your might) to your true potential through belief. In you. With God.

So, there you have it. Bring out all those little projects you have had in the ‘back burners’ and BEGIN IT. Maybe, that idea for a business that you were afraid to start. Or, it could be that change of career that you were afraid to make – to do what you love to do. There is power in beginning, starting NOW. Begin your walk to the gym. Begin your weight-loss program – AGAIN (even if you have failed many times before and tried everything but failed). Try again. Begin eating better again. Have faith in you, don’t give up on yourself. Especially now, with increased awareness of your faith, that you have God on your side.

Have that difficult discussion with yourself and with God to guide you on your journey to your goals … towards your imaginary self. But this time, with the belief that all your past mistakes, all your past failures is forgiven.

Create your new foundation for what you are building (on a clean slate) and begin putting the building blocks towards your highest potential.

Don’t look at life as a gamble. Instead look at life as a giant, very real game so become a better player of the ultimate game (with the belief that God is in your corner), like a great coach is in a Champion Boxer’s corner, in his ears, in the ring during battle. Have no doubt in you, no doubt in your God.

Remember: doubters don’t win or succeed. Winners don’t doubt, especially with your higher force on your side. Your God.

Reach out. Don’t delay. There is not time to lose.

Reach out for your potential. Today!

 

Until next time,

Paul V2 (1)

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Why Not?

Relaxed.

Relaxed.

I love my children.

I love spending as much time as I can with each of them – Olivia and Zachary. I am very fortunate that in this phase of my life I am able to do just that.

Give them my time – my life. Just like other dads do, too.

Olivia, Zachary and I love doing many activities together. Building things using leggos is one such activity.  My son teams up with me and we construct, bust down, re-build and re-construct the best castles we can dream up with the limited pieces of leggo pieces we have. Olivia is a champion builder now. Better than me already. They both are. She’s so good, that her constructions are very elaborate and above all – ‘stable’. That’s her thing – it has to be stable.

“Dad, she says, a castle is better to be stable than just pretty, aye dad?”

“Uhumm … yep, to some extent, that is true. You don’t want strong winds to blow it away now, do we? Like most important things in life, we need strong foundations. We all need to have our rocks in life.”

I try my best to encourage them to use their imagination and play ‘pretend’ games. Even though there is a limit to how many leggos they have, each time we build, they create something new. No creation is ever the same.

And when run out of leggo pieces, my daughter asks what else. I say lets pretend even more. Olivia gets so excited and so does Zachary. I start it off by saying ..

“Just pretend … that your castle has wings …. Large wings and it can fly …. Fly up in the sky and the wings are so large that the castle can take us all in it .. and …

My daughter interrupts me and then asks “But dad, castles can’t have wings, can they?”

I thought about what she said and I wanted to tell her the truth but I thought that a little un-truth, a little lie would be the best thing for her and her brother right now. I wanted them to continue their ‘make-belief’ world. Heck, if I had one wish I would want their ‘pretend world’ to not come to an end.

Let them run wild and far with their imagination. Keep dreaming. See what they come up with. Encourage them to ‘see’ what others cannot, what I can’t.

With no restraints. No rules. Their world where anything is possible. Where castles have wings … large wings. Enough to carry mum and dad and them away in to the skies. Forever.

I told her that her castle can have wings. Anything she wanted would be given to her. Any power she wanted. Anything she imagined, no matter how ridiculous it may be, would be granted. There were no rules. No one to tell her what could and could not be done. She was the boss. The creator.

Olivia stopped me again and said: “but dad, castles can’t have wings?”

I told her “why not, Olivia. Why can’t Castle’s have wings? I told her not to just ask “Why?” but also consider “Why not?” and then her story-telling of her make-belief world started flying. She imagined all sorts of things. All sorts of possibilities. I was in heaven just listening. Listening to their debates. Their possibilities.

Wow, I enjoy the storytelling my kids share with me!

She didn’t argue with my lie. Only I knew, that I lied. A lie that castles had wings.

But that lie was enough for her to continue her dreaming, her storytelling. Her ‘pretend-world’. I thought telling her a little lie was better than telling her the truth. She will eventually find out the truth but in her time. In her time.

They can find out other little small lies society tells them as they journey through their lives. But, in their time. Things like Santa Clause. Like the Tooth Fairy. Like the Easter Bunny.

These little lies (and there are many in life) are important to every child. Every person who was once a child. It encourages their imagination to run wild. It gets them to question possibilities. It gets them to not just ask “why?” but instead to also ask “why not?”.

Why not? Why not create a castle with wings? Why not travel to the moon? Why not be a better you? Why not make a more fuel-efficient car? Why not choose to eat a healthier meal option just because you respect and love yourself a little bit more today than you did yesterday? Why not go to sleep early tonight and say no to a ‘big night out”? Why not strive to be a better person from this hour forth? Why not make time to go to the gym at least twice a week? Why not take care of your beautiful self better?

Why not, not why?

Look back at your life. The way I see it, it seems that up until six years old, we get lots of encouragement. But by the time we reach our teens, we get discouragement from everyone and everything we experience in life. By the time most of us kids get to working life, young adults appear to have been drained of courage and have lost most of their enthusiasm – that sparkle that allows a person to choose to adopt positive thinking everyday.

Why?

I believe one of the reasons is that not enough of us humans are asking ourselves “why not?”. A lot of people have lost belief in striving for a better life. A better self. They have lost belief in themselves. Enthusiasm and courage has been sucked out of them.

Also, partly because they’ve stopped asking themselves “why not?”

Its not too late people. Its not too late to do something about it. Its not too late to try to lose ten or so kilos. Why not? Its never too late to start dreaming again. Its never too late to start believing in yourself again. Why not try harder? Why not keep going? I’ve seen it with the very old and the young alike. That is the only thing that gives you hope:

Believing in a dream … make it your dream … to believe in the question of telling you and asking yourself the question of “why not” …. Be your BEST you can be – for yourself and … while you’re on a roll, why not be the BEST YOU CAN BE for others too!”.

Don’t wait for the perfect moment when all is safe and assured. It may never arrive. Mountains will not be climbed. Walking on the moon may never have happened.  Don’t allow fear to make you quit. Never quit on life. You’ve got to win over yourself. Never settle for defeat. Never stop striving to being the best you can be, in every sense of the word.

Have you hitched your wagon to a star? Why not?

It seems that there is a philosophical movement that exists that associates drive and initiative solely with materialistic power and gain. There appears to be an ever-growing obsession focused on the accumulation of non-essential personal possessions.

This should not be confused, I think, with personal achievement and the pursuit of individual excellence. Disregarding all material gain, I believe there is a pure personal pleasure which comes from achieving the difficult or the unusual. Whatever it is that it is.

The magic rests in everyone of us. Yes, it rests in you too. The enduring power that has moved you and will move you, again, comes from inside. Yes, inside you.

Success is not just reserved for the talented. It is not in the high I.Q. Not in the gifted birth. Not in the best equipment and technology. Not even in ability.

Success in anything, I believe is hugely dependent upon drive, focus and persistence. The extra energy required to make an extra effort – to go the ‘extra mile’ –  to try another approach – to ask ‘why not” do something a little bit different, a little bit smarter – to concentrate on the desired outcome – is, I believe, the secret to achievement. To win, in your unique journey through life.

The magic is this: ATTITUDE.

A wise man once said: “Its your attitude, not your aptitude that determines your altitude in life”.

Apply. Adapt accordingly.

See how the next four decades pan out for you. Choose well.

And when you start dreaming again, you might as well dream BIG. It takes the same amount of focus!

As another wise person once said: “Make no little plans: they have no magic to stir your blood to action – instead make big plans, aim high in work and hope.”

Ask yourself – “Why not?”

 

Until next time,

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Building-blocks of Character.

Front double biceps pose.

Front double biceps pose.

Building-blocks of muscles: adequate protein.

How do we develop character?

Have you asked yourself that question? Are you a man or woman of character? How did you get that way?

Well, it’s a question I have thought about since being quite sick this past week. As I see it, most of a person’s character is built or developed in their childhood years. It’s the result of values and principles learned from parents or from family members and other influential people early in life. This got me thinking about the importance of my role as a dad, for all parents out there and the importance of their roles.

Got me thinking about our kids. About the importance of our roles and those who coach kids and the impact it can have on their character building. The role a parent or parent-substitute plays in a child’s life is probably the most important role that person will ever play in their short lives. A big call, I know.

We build or develop character by over-coming obstacles and going through adversity. Through suffering. We all have in our own ways, to get us this far in life. Congratulations!

In many fields, mentors and coaches all talk about losing or having a losing year as being “character building” season. Some coaches get a chance to prove this mantra in the following year. Some, however, get the chop before realising the winning spirit. Very sad indeed.

Learning to accept a loss or losses and failure and using that to strengthen resolve is what its all about.

In the bible, I think it was the apostle Paul that states something to the effect that “ …. Suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope”. How true this is.

However, when all is said and done, most of our character is established in our childhood years. Adversity and challenges can help add building blocks to it. Coaches can help mold it. But, I believe in our adult years, the only thing that can radically change a person’s basic character is a relationship with a higher force.

A God.

In Christianity, in my faith, it is a relationship with Jesus Christ. In other faiths, there are other relationships. Re-connect with yours.

Its never too late to character build and re-build. Get your hands dirty with the raw materials. Don’t be afraid of a little suffering. Find your master. Build a relationship with this devine being.

Become a master-builder and build your blocks of character (values and principles), with this higher-force’s help.

Re-build: YOU.

 

Until next time,

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