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Live. Die. With dignity.

 


Most of us would agree that food, shelter and water are the most basic of our needs. Beyond this, most of us would disagree as to which needs are more important – it depends on the person and the circumstance I guess.

I think you can adhere to a simple, yet, powerful advice from the wise Marcus Aurelius –

“if it is not right, don’t do it: if it is not true, don’t say it”

Maslow’s hierarchy pyramid puts these most basic of human needs in a category called “physiological needs” along with sex. There are 5 levels and we progress to the next level only when the lower levels are satisfied.

There are safety needs and then belonging/love needs (which includes family, friends and sexual intimacy). From there we strive to satisfy our ‘esteem’ needs and beyond that we reach ‘self-actualization’ needs. Only 1 in 100 people actually reach this level according to Maslow.

I wrote about the most fundamental of human existence in a previous blog and that is – ‘freedom’. A big word this is and can be defined in many different ways.

Every one of us live in fear in one form or another, every day as we go about our lives. Fear comes in many forms and when it exists, freedom is sacrificed. I would go on to say that there are many societies in the world today whose people actually accept and are content to live under fear.

Good people cannot stand by and let injustice happen … which removes the key element of Freedom – dignity.

It is amazing that in today’s world where technology is changing at an exponential rate, some of the most basic of human needs like freedom are not or have not changed for the better in centuries.

One such human need that is taken away when freedom is removed is ‘dignity’. This is usually the result of control through fear.

To be a complete human, however, I believe each and every one of us need to be allowed to live our lives with dignity. When people live in fear or when freedom is taken away, their ‘human-ness’ is taken away and this is experienced at different levels.

The very essence of feeling human is lost. One loses his/her dignity where the very foundation of what it means to be ‘human’ is swept away from under you. You lose control over your existence and destiny.

This is one of the worst feelings one could ever have to endure while being alive. This, I believe, is worse than going without food or water. Dignity is a far more important need.

Being deprived of dignity for a prolonged period increases the risk of losing hope. And when you lose hope, you lose the desire to live. Not a good place to be.

If you went without food and water for long enough, you will die. If your freedom was taken away from you long enough, you will either die or become rebellious. The significant difference between these deaths is that if you die without food and water, you can still die with dignity.

We all need to live and die with dignity.

True. Allow citizens to live & die with dignity.

It is a need. A most basic, most fundamental need.

So, stop for a few seconds and say a prayer for all those people in societies (including ours) all around the world who live in fear and who are deprived of the need to live their daily lives with dignity.

Pray that they may find the courage and fortitude to continue seeking this very essence of self-actualization that Maslow refers to. Pray that they be given the very thing that makes them fully human. Pray that they get their dignity back.

If they aren’t given their dignity back, pray that they take it back. Let us all pray that each and every one of them garner enough voice to say ‘no’ to the injustice they experience. The word ‘no’ is perhaps the greatest expression of human dignity possible.

Say ‘no’ to any form of control through fear!

Let us pray that they gather enough wisdom to know that you cannot find without seeking. You cannot hear without listening and not having the luxury of saying no and enough is enough is to make worthless any acts of seeking or hearing or doing.

Effort alone is not enough.

You must believe and hope that freedom from all forms of fear is possible and deserving of you.

Choose to say ‘no’ to anyone or anything that forces you to be someone you’re not. Keep your dignity. Don’t sell your soul.

Be yourself – always.

Live. Die. With dignity.

 

Until next time,

Wonderful insight in to the mind of a Great Leader.
Be courageous. Everything stems from courage. Never let anyone or anything tear your dignity from you.

Patience & love is vital to each individual, each community, each nation and the world 🌎.

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Choosing a gym.

True.

Your philosophy matters

A common fear among people who have never been to a gym and even current gym enthusiasts is feeling a little intimidated when they are there. The atmosphere of some gyms can be quite intimidating indeed for some.

I know I felt that same feeling many, many years ago when I first summoned the courage to enter a gym. After a few tries, you will get over this initial feeling of discomfort – something all trainees will have to deal with at some time.

Now, I could go through a top 10 things to consider when assessing which gym deserves your patronage such as – cleanliness, Equipment conditions, equipment in general, personal training services, locker availability and cost etc but I won’t.

Why? Well, you could easily do this yourself on the internet these days and maybe even get on a web-site that compares gyms and ranks them based on your buying criteria. A common method of deciding on a choice if you are that inclined.

However I believe that sometimes, in life it is more fruitful if you make your decision that is the best for you not based on your ‘need’.

No, sometimes in life, you need to base your decision on what resonates with your philosophy in life. If you don’t, then you may well find yourself (like hundreds of thousands of gym goers world-wide) jumping from gym to gym, searching. Searching for the gym that best suits their needs.

Your philosophy matters.

With Margaret and her guide dog. She was such a lovely human being. Never said never.
I trained her daughter (who was also partially blind) to represent Australia at the Paralympics.
She was one tough school girl with a lot of GRIT. Just like her mum.
Choose a gym that resonates and agrees with your philosophy of life.

Choosing a gym is an ínternal’ exercise, not an éxternal’ one

It is highly likely that you will not find your answer to your dissatisfaction by constantly switching gyms (for whatever reasons you generate). Instead you will likely grow tired and you will eventually feel de-motivated, like millions of trainees worldwide do. When this sets in, you can kiss your work-outs goodbye!

Sad, I know … but true.

After being in and around gyms for almost thirty years now and owning my own family gym for about seven years, here’s what I believe you need to do:

  1. Determine your philosophy on life – ascertain what you value in life, what are you principles?
  2. Find a gym that is aligned to this.

I am almost 100% certain that you will be content. This is not an exercise in ‘external search’ for a gym but it is an exercise in ‘internal search’ for the Real YOU. What I am trying to say is that choosing a gym is an internal exercise, not an external one.

For some, this search for a different gym and never being satisfied may be a manifestation of a deep seated fear of rejection that may likely go back to their formative years where they may have been subjected to ‘conditional love’. This manifestation becomes an obsession with what other people think and fuels this search for that elusive gym that meets all their needs.

Me and my family of extended family of members.
I created an environment to replace something I was missing living in a busy, big city like Sydney: the intimacy and connectedness of a truly local and extended family feel that I grew up with in my youth in Fiji.
I missed my éxtended family’ and this served my needs and the members needs too

The perfect gym does not exist

You won’t find that, a gym that meets all your needs, that is. It is like searching for “Mr Right” … or “Mrs Perfect”. They don’t exist like the perfect gym that meets ALL your needs does not exist. Accept that the Perfect gym does not exist. What exists is a person or a gym that meets most of your key needs and resonate with your philosophy on life.

I must warn you though: it is not an easy exercise. It can be a little scary. Remember though that all negative habit patterns can be overcome by giving your mind new nutritional thoughts. The most powerful, most nutritional thought we can think is “I like myself”.

A simple, yet profound statement of belief and I liken it to an anti-biotic for the mind. Makes you feel better after repeating the statement for a period of time. Try it, see how you feel.

A hallmark of a mature human being like you is the acceptance of total responsibility for your life and all the decisions you have made to date. The acceptance of total responsibility is a line in the sand in your life that from that point, you have no more excuses.

Your feeling of personal freedom and total control of your life and happiness is a direct product of your acceptance of total responsibility. This includes your responsibility to investing time in your health and fitness.

So – Accept. Totally.

Then ….

Me my extended family members; a group of members of my family gym.
They all loved training and being part of the extended family that was my gym

Join the club that chooses you

Join the gym that is aligned with your values and principles. Join the club that chooses you.  I prefer good old-school gyms (very few around these days) where there are a good selection of free-weights (barbells and dumbells) and good benches, a power rack or cage (to let the animal inside of you out).

A gym that has outstanding free-weights equipment and the best ambience wins, hands-down all the time for me.

Personally, I prefer a gym that doesn’t treat you like a number. Where everyone knows your name and your know theirs. Where people talk to each other instead of just connecting with a machine. A gym where if you’re absent, people notice it. A gym like they used to be – a social club. Like the gym I owned and managed for about seven years of my life, a real ‘family gym’. I was so connected to each and every member that they would tell me of their travel plans and almost everything about themselves and their families and ups-and-downs in their lives.

My life was intricately connected to each person, so much so that if I noticed that they hadn’t come for a while, I would personally call them up ( I wouldn’t get my staff to call them). If I didn’t get them (and if they lived alone), I would drive over to their residence to see if they were ók’.

Believe me when I say that I had intervened in many people’s lives and brought them back to this reality. There were people that no one called up on, except for me. There were people that, if I hadn’t knocked on their door of their residence to see if they were ok, they wouldn’t be here today. That was one of my roles as a caring, trusting and compassionate gym owner.

Members of my éxtended family’ also connected over food (protein for the hard-working muscles) and beer (for the biceps peak)
We were a family in more ways then just one (training together)

What type of Gym Goer are YOU?

Join a ‘type’ of gym goer. What type are you?

Feel ‘connected’ with a real person instead of being connected through technology mediums. Talk to other patrons of the gym (the way my old school gym was, where everyone spoke to one another and knew each other’s names. Just a big extended family, like I lived in my early youth, growing up in the paradise islands of Fiji.

You’ll probably find that you would have more in common with more people there then you would be different.

We’re all social beings after all and your time in the gym satisfies one of the most basic of human needs in a very healthy way – our innate social need.

And become the … the … social animal that you know you are but instead of swapping alcoholic recipes, you’ll be sharing protein shake concoctions. Realising this and accepting it in your life can make you look on the bright side of life more readily. It could move you closer to the elusive ‘happiness’ state … something that the world can learn from the Happiest Citizens on this planet: Fiji.

Just so happens, I was born and lived my early youth in Fiji and understand why Fijians are the happiest people on this earth, a few of the many reasons why are touched on in my words above. Find your gym by allowing the ‘fijian’ in you to speak to you.

All the very best in your choice!

Until next time,

Cheers & Ahoy!

 

The old Captain Viking Pirate …. & choosing the right gym for YOU

Building your strength in the gym is only one definition of what it means to be ‘strong’

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12.5 of Life’s Living Tips to live by.

 

Checking for tracks on the ground for past visitors?

Love life and life will love you back.

That wide?

Life Tips – too many to count – that wide.

I am sure by this stage in your life you have come across many health tips and are practising some and have not even considered others for whatever reason.

There is certainly no magic formula to optimum health and fitness but you can make your life a little more liveable by doing a few things a little better.

To improve your overall personal immunity.

What you are today is to some extent the cumulative compound effect of the habits you have decided to make a part of your life. Wonderful, I hope.

I have listed some health and hygiene habits I practise daily and I would like to share them with you. These are only 12.5 tips. I have found these tips to be both true and effective in cultivating outstanding health and fitness habits.

Habits that have added to my life and I am certain will positively add to your life rather than subtract.

Have a read and see if you think it beneficial to your life. It has been to mine so far:

  1. Drink water first thing upon waking with a hint of citrus:
    1. Try drinking a glass of water (250 ml) upon waking in the morning. If you can, try squeezing in some lemon and a drop of honey.
    2. Drink 1 litre of water per 25 kg of bodyweight. So, a 75 kg person should be drinking a minimum of 3 L of water daily.
  1. Brush your teeth after every meal:
    1. If you can, brush once after every meal and once before going to sleep at night. I eat at least 6 times per day and I brush at least 4 times per day.
  1. Eat a balanced diet:
    1. Concentrate on a diet of good wholesome food.
    2. Try to do without white-based flour products and sugar.
  1. Chew well:
    1. Digestion starts in your mouth as you’re well aware.
    2. Make it a little easy on your stomach muscles and digestive juices by chewing your food well. Take your time and enjoy the essence of each food you consume.
    3. Try not to talk too much while you’re eating and focus on your food more. You should remember that it is not only important to consider quantity and quality of source of your food. You should also ask yourself how well your body is absorbing and assimilating all the food you’re eating.
    4. Liken your digestive system to that of a factory. Have you asked yourself how much ‘wastage’ your digestive factory is incurring? How much of the input (food) you’re taking in is actually being used for and by your body? How efficient and effective is your digestive system? Well, you can reduce your ‘wastage’ significantly by simply chewing well or better than you are currently doing.
  1. Apply good moisturiser to your skin after you shower at night:
    1. Aim to use a moisturiser that has Vitamin E and soborlene for improve health and elasticity of your skin.
    2. Stay away from other combinations.
  1. Get enough fresh air and direct sunlight every day:
    1. The health and vitality of you and your body (and mind) needs the sun’s rays. Even if you’re very, very busy at work try and take at least 20 minutes out to get some fresh air and sunlight.
    2. Be sure to use a good sunblock too (if you’re fair skinned).
    3. For people living in countries with very little sun, it is vital for your vitamin D production, the presence of which is necessary for your immunity against common ailments in addition to other benefits.
  1. Do your plumbing (#2s) in the morning:
    1. Try and get in to the habit of ‘sitting on your throne” and excreting your waste in the morning before work or your work out.
    2. My children and I refer to this activity as the ‘boom-boom’! Call it what you will, train your body to do its plumbing first thing in the morning.
  1. Keep your mind calm and have a positive attitude:
    1. At all times, everyday.
    2. Strive to never lose control in all areas of your life.
  1. Make your exercise sessions a pleasure not a burden:
    1. Use the hour in the gym as your ‘meditation hour’
    2. Your time to work on your internal muscle and external muscles
  1. Train at least three times per week:
    1. Weight training in the gym is a must. The benefits to you is a no-brainer!
    2. Follow your weights session with 20 to 30 minutes cardio of ‘power-walking’ ( I will elaborate in a future blog about how I do this and why I think this is one of the best forms of cardio you can do now and in to your old age) on a treadmill or outside.  
  1. Get adequate rest daily:
    1. Make sure you get sufficient sleep every day

12.5 Keep good posture:

  1. At all times – when seated and standing.

There are many more of “Life’s lessons” to live by hence the “12.5” (not exhaustive in any way) tips but these are some simple ones that come to my mind as I write this and could add a little more life in to your years. It could add more vitality to you. Take it as a reminder, a catalyst or whichever way you want.

One of my goals is just to make you more ‘aware’. The rest (action and adaptation) is up to you.

More vitality … better energy … better opportunities …. Better life to you.

 

Until next time,

Photo op with a local resident and her dog. Lovely.

Photo op with a local resident and her dog. Lovely.

An old school pose.

An old school pose.

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Animal “types” you may encounter in the gym.

Strength is not only determined by how much you can lift for one rep

As I have mentioned in previous blogs, I have been around gyms for over 23 years now and have observed some interesting things that seem to be special to the environment.

Gyms are popping up all over the place now and they cater for almost every individual’s tastes. Big and small, 24 hours or not. Hard-core or fancy. The more, the merrier – right? I’m not sure about that. Each gym has its own unique ambience and attract certain types of patrons.

Now I realise that you could add many more gym stereotypes but as I have spent my time mostly in the weights area of gyms (retro gyms tend to only have weights and a few cardio machines), I will comment on 4 types or sub-groups of patrons I tend to see.

You may or may have had encounters with these gym types during your workouts.

I have tried to use an animal-in-the-jungle analogy to identify these weight-training types:

Type 1: The Silverback – “The Steroid Guy” – (and girl in increasing numbers in today’s world):

Now, I have never taken steroids or performance-enhancing drugs in all my years of weight training and I don’t know much about it but I do know when someone is ‘on it’. It is quite obvious for the discerning eye.

A visual walking, talking pumped up to the eyeballs human anatomy. The vein in his or her neck and shoulders and arms are visible and throbbing and they have acne problems like out of control hormonal teenagers.

Watch out, he (or she) look like they may snap your head off and punch someone in the face at any moment (no, most are really nice). They tend to be very serious about their workouts and do not like anyone interrupting them. They are what I refer to as “live wire”.

Fortunately, I didn’t have that problem in the period I owned and managed my Family Gym.

Your goal: Keep out of their way!

Be YOU. Never imitate.

Type 2: The Peacock – “The Mirror Man” :

I would probably fall in to this category but not for vanity reasons (or maybe just a little). More so for focus and continuous assessment and feedback, amongst other things essential to the sport of natural bodybuilding.

For the ‘mirror man’, however he (or she in increasing numbers) likes to work out in front of and as close to the mirror as possible. Preferably, with his/her shirt off (well I haven’t seen a woman work out with her shirt off in 23 years but given the pace of change in many aspects of life, it may just happen one day in my lifetime).

It appears that these weight-training types are only concerned with one person and one person only: themselves, even if it means standing in your way and blocking you off from the weights rack.

Your goal: get angry (no, politely ask him/her to move).

Is this you, too

Type 3: The Skunk– “the stinker”:

These are (mainly men) that roll out of bed and shoot straight to the gym.

They don’t care to brush their teeth and so have horrible breath and even more body odour stench. They don’t seem to have friends to tell them that they stink. Isn’t that what good friends do?

Doesn’t really affect me as my tolerance for stench is pretty high but many other members approach me and tell me their disgust, hoping that I would go up and say something. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t.

Unfortunately for everyone, from my observation, it seems that these breeds of skunks tend to be some of the hardest workers in the gym and I take my hat off for them. However, they can populate their stink bombs right throughout the joint. It can be everywhere.

Let me share a health secret with you: this is one of the primary reasons why I prefer to train in non-air-conditioned gyms, there is better air-flow. Besides being tougher, but it’s healthier. A warm muscle is a healthy muscle. My family Gym did not have air-condition. 

Your goal: If you’re faced with this situation, you really have only one of two choices:

  1. Get out of there and come back another time
  2. Commence ‘mouth-breathing’.

Exactly.
That is exactly what many experience when they get overwhelmed & cannot manage.
They experience “Holy Shit!”

Type 4: The Hyena – “The Screamer”:

He’s the guy (or chick in increasing numbers) that shouts the roof down whenever he lifts. We’ve all seen (rather – heard them).

He’s like a screaming Sharapova on steroids and wants you and everyone else within a kilometre of the gym to know that he is lifting. He will scream even under ridiculously light weights either because of a need for attention or some other mental disease that needs diagnosing from a qualified mind doctor.

Your goal: protect your eardrums by listening to your favourite i-tunes.

My family gym was for everyone – from all walks of life, from all backgrounds, all races and ranged in age from teens to 90 year olds.
Everyone abided by ‘old-fashioned value’ – respect, patience, care, compassion, trust, tolerance etc
Here I am with one of my blind members (and her guide dog) who visited my gym 3 days per week for 7 years. Many other gyms descriminated against handicapped population. Not mine.
My gym was an ALL inclusive Family Gym.

I’m sure if you’re a regular gym-goer you could list out other stereotypes and match them to animals in the jungle. I feel that sometimes gym environments can be likened to jungles. There are many stereotypes and some of them just make you sit back and laugh.

So, my question to you is: which weight-trainee type do you fall in? Are you clearly one of the 4 types I have highlighted here or do you fall in a unique type?

So, find a gym that best suits you if you haven’t already. Actually, sometimes it is better to ask someone with the experience to recommend a ‘gym type’ that is best suited to your personality type and if you want to go deeper, then consider the best gym to suit your principles and values.

But I’ll give you more guidance on selecting the best gym for you in a future blog.

Train SMART.

Until next time,

Members of my ‘extended family’ when I used to own and manage my gym for seven years. Some of the best and hardest years of my life so far. I loved leading the members (predominantly males – 70%) and they allowed me to take them to unchartered territories for us all.
The gym was (unlike today’s) a social place. An ‘inbetween home’ between your place of work and your home.
Relationships based on fairness, trust, care and compassion.
A place where men could share stories, their aspirations, their fears and hopes …and be listened to … without fear of retribution or ridicule.
It was these group of Mens ‘last refuge’.
I hope to bring it back one day … to the world.

 

My Family of friends in my gym I owned and managed for 7
years.
All working towards being the ‘best the can be’

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Sometimes, local is BEST.

 

You learn from children and then learn from us.
It is a two-way learning experience, not one way (parents to children like some people think)

My children love going on holidays. They love being on holidays during school holidays.

They have just experienced Christmas and New Year’s celebrations and are still on holidays.

My wife and I decided a while back that we will try and experience more of Sydney, more of NSW, more of Australia before we embark on our discovery of all the other ‘foreign places to visit before you die’.

We just love ‘holidaying local’.

I recently asked my wife her view of the benefits of holidaying local and we agreed on quite a few points and the top 3 were:

  1. We experience less stress
  2. We would like to be made more aware and make our children more aware of the beauty and variety of local destinations and the excellent service they keep.
  3. We get to enjoy all the comforts that we would like to enjoy at a fraction of the cost

Don’t get me wrong, overseas travel is wonderful too. The lure of a different culture and people and food. All fantastic. However, there is so much of Australia I have not seen and have not experienced yet and one of my ambitions is to learn more of the country and its people that I have adopted.

So much to absorb. So little time.

The thing about overseas holidays that really get to me is that even up to the point of getting through the gates and on to the plane, we all seem to be rushing around. Trying to be busy. Sometimes it certainly seems that you have to speed up to slow down, which is, funnily enough the ultimate goal of being on a holiday.

We’re looking to ‘soft our minds’.

When you’re holidaying local, you don’t seem to have that problem. You firstly just tell everyone you know that you’re on holidays and treat it strictly like that or don’t tell anyone at all. You don’t take calls and you don’t return calls. You pretend that you’re holidaying overseas. Difficult to do? No, it isn’t. I simply do this by doing exactly what my two children do when they play ‘pretend games’ of princes and princesses and so forth. They don’t come out of their character roles when they play it and so my wife and I try not to either.

We ‘pretend’ we’re on holidays overseas and enjoy all the trappings but with less cost.

Holidaying local allows us to do more of what we love to do when we are on holiday and that is to ‘be on holiday’. Not spending your time travelling and in transit and increasing your stress levels for no real benefit. Nope, I like ‘softening my mind’ when I am holidaying and unlike overseas planned holidays, I like a little bit more certainty.

Like ordering at McDonalds (once in a while for most of us I hope), the certainty of knowing what I am going to get is reassuring to me. I don’t particularly like surprises. I don’t think most people do either.

I try to, however, not to over exaggerate holidays and all the great time my family experiences together during them. Instead, I remind my children that holidaying is something that we do some of the time. When you look at it as a percentage of our total time spent throughout the year, it is very small. So, when we look at it in this frame, we know exactly where to emphasise our existence – and that is in the beauty and chaos of our simple, daily lives.

I’ve always believed that one aspect of a fruitful life is to see opportunities to make the ordinary – extraordinary. Not overseas. Not in your dreams. No, simply in your everyday life. Try to make the everyday a ‘wow’ experience – for you and your loved ones.

You don’t have to look very far. Just look local. Discover more of the beauty and variety of excellent services that are on offer in your local city or neighbouring city. I’m sure you will find something new if you took the effort to look.

That is the thing though – this approach will take some effort, effort on your part to make the ordinary – extraordinary.

Whenever my family eats, one of us says our prayers not only to bless the food but to also to give thanks for all my family’s blessings. ON top of this we ask for God’s guidance and strength to help and guide our family and friends here and abroad. I try to instil in my children, an attitude of gratitude – daily at a young age.

Giving thanks to God, multiple times daily, reminds us to be in the present but more importantly reminds us not to take anything for granted. It reminds us of how lucky we are. It forces my kids to be in the ‘present’.

I also strongly believe that giving gratitude regularly to your GOD and saying THANK YOU for your blessings is like a bridge from where you are now to the life of your dreams.

My children are getting better at praying now. I tell them to think and deliberately ‘feel’ the words of gratitude that we say in our prayers as saying THANK YOU is a ‘feeling’.

Sometimes, just sometimes, it can be better to stay home and enjoy the family home and environment that you inhabit, something that some of us who live very busy lives don’t really get to do. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is to take some time out to ‘soft the mind’.

This is one of the keys to finding your own definition of success in your life as I believe the better you get at ‘softening the mind’ the better you attract success in to your life.

Remember: your mind is the most powerful success tool you have. Give it rest to get it to perform at its best.

 

All the very best to you and your family,

Until next time,

Keeping it simple is key

I AM.
Me .. & my constant companion – Mr Fuzzy/Fussy Cuddles

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In THAT better place.

Relaxed me

I lost my biological mother just over four years ago.

I buried her.

It would have been her birthday only two days ago if she was still alive. Made me want to share a little part of that chapter in my life in this blog with you.

Cancer came and took her within four months. It was very aggressive. There wasn’t much more the doctors could have done given the circumstances.

I’m sure if you have lost a loved one, there are times when you miss them and this is one such moment for me. We had an interesting relationship her and I, one much more akin to a brother-sister relationship.

I had never called her ‘mum’ all my life. I called her by her first name. A beautiful name it was – Margaret.

Like most if not all cancer sufferers, she suffered a great deal in the months leading up to her death and all I wanted God to do was to end the suffering she was going through. I spent a bit of time beside her in her last days and asked her quite a few questions about her, about life and about the life she was heading to – in THAT better place.

I asked her if she was afraid of dying and she said ‘no’. She fell back on her spiritual philosophy and believed that all ‘was meant to be’. She was prepared for this life after death where she will be in THAT better place, perhaps with Jesus by her side.

If you’ve ever lost a close loved one, it is a difficult time. It was difficult time for me to say the least but nothing compared to the difficulty she was facing. Her life was coming to an end sooner than she anticipated.

She had a lot of support from extended family who could be with her and the religious denomination she belonged to. They were lovely. God bless them.

You’re never prepared to bury anyone. Anyone, let alone your mother.

The one thing that comforted me was the belief – no, the hope – bright hope for tomorrow – her tomorrow, for her future when she will be sitting beside Jesus in THAT better place. I had the belief that his death and his blood on the cross gave me – gave all of us hope that all things are made new and death is no more, nor grief nor crying. No more suffering and pain.

In my mind, she may have lived a relatively short life on this earth but in my life, she made that one unselfish decision all those years ago to give birth to me. To give me life.

The same for you too – a priceless gift from your mum: life!

I was not at my mum’s side when she died. I was overseas. On the day she died, an aunty of mine who was by her side sent a message to my wife who contacted me to call my mother. She wanted to speak to me.

When my aunty put my mum on the phone, for what seemed like a long while all I could hear was her breathing. Very deep painful breathing. But she could not speak. She was in pain and I could feel her pain through the phone.

She didn’t say anything and yet I felt she said so much. This was the first time in my life that I listened to someone who didn’t say anything and yet seemed to fill my ears up with so much. I couldn’t hold back my tears, they just kept streaming out of my eyes. I was a mess. Fortunately, there was no one in the gym at that moment to witness me balling my eyes out.

There was something very different about this phone call, I could sense there was. I called her ‘mum’ for the first time and I thanked her for giving me life when she chose to have the baby – me, all those years ago. That unselfish decision was the catalyst to allowing me to live the life I live today and to help as many people as I can every day. To save lives.

She never met my son Zachary but I believe she is with him in spirit and she is still alive in them through the genes. She is my childrens’ guardian angel.

In that last phone call I called her ‘mum’ for the first time and told her that I loved her.

I said “mum, I love you. Don’t worry, I will see you again … one day I will join you …. In THAT better place … Just wait a little longer”.

She just wanted to hear my voice one last time and that was the last time I heard hers too.

I was told she died only a few minutes after she put the phone down.

Her spirit is at home with Jesus now.

So, I hope that in her life after death, there is a glorious, endless future for her of which her adventure has only just begun.

I’m sure her happiness and joy has wiped away any recollection of pain and suffering in her time on earth and death.

So, If your mum is still alive, cherish it.

Go right now and give her the biggest hug and kiss and tell her you love her. If she is overseas, make that call NOW – call her up and tell her how much she means to you and that you love her very, very much even if it is in another time zone and you’re waking her up.

Tell her it cannot wait for the morning.

As for me, well I speak to my mum in my daily prayers but I would just like to end this blog by saying …

“Mum, I love you.”

 

Until next time,

 

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An attitude of gratitude.

Some wise person once said:

“Its not your aptitude, but your attitude that determines your altitude in life.”

Pretty wise words, don’t you think? You probably don’t need to look very far – look at the immediate people in your circle of life to see examples of this aphorism.

Maybe even you.

Being grateful for all that we have is a way of thinking.

You probably have your own way of giving appreciation to whoever you speak to. Whichever way it is, the essence of it is communication and routine. Ideally, giving thanks should be done daily and not only when you’re in real trouble or at a special occasion, like a funeral for example.

It can be done at any time convenient for you.

Me – I try and say a prayer of thanks every time I eat a meal. That is a minimum of six times a day. You pray for the meal to be blessed, thank the good Lord (or whatever higher force you believe in) for your blessings and ask for continued blessings for you, your family and friends and the world at large.

My wife and I have always prayed together, before consuming our meals and we also try to say a prayer before sleeping at night. Our kids have come along and they also join us in prayer. They take turns in leading the prayers now that they are both older.

It’s a family habit. Part of our daily routines.

But I believe there is more to gratitude. It not only reminds us of not taking anything for granted. It humbles us. It puts a certain level of perspective on life.

It is essentially the choice of attitude of the person and their attitude to life. There is magic in being grateful. There is magic in having a thankful spirit.

This magic, I believe, is POWER.

Yes, power!

How is that, you may ask?

Well, I believe a thankful spirit has the power to overcome anger with love; it has the power to subordinate fear with courage; it replaces sadness with happiness and has the power to feel not jealousy but genuine joy at another’s success.

Having a thankful spirit and an attitude of gratitude has the power to inspire productivity and innovation over lack of creativity. Being grateful releases guilt with an heart of forgiveness.

An attitude of gratitude has the power to allow one to grow with an abundance of love
and self-sharing over greed and hatred.

It is a form of power, not as you know it but power none-the-less. An intangible one at times.

So, there you have it, some reasons why I believe that an attitude of gratitude is power.

Knowing that it is a form of power is not power. No, ‘knowing’ is potential power. Applying an attitude of gratitude on a daily basis, now that is power. The power rests in the choosing.

Check your attitude and work on your attitude of gratitude if you think you need to. You may just surprise yourself with how much more you get out of life, by giving more in to it, through choosing your best attitude, always.

Feel, really feel, that intangible power.

Start with a ‘reverse bucket list’ to put some structure to it. Some people do.

What is it? Well, a reverse bucket list is simply a list of things you have done, places you’ve visited and opportunities you have experienced in your life to date. How is this an exercise of gratitude you may be thinking?

You see, when you write it down and then look over what you have written, you can reminisce and be grateful for what you have achieved and done in your life so far. You may even shock and surprise yourself with what you have achieved.

Keep adding to that list as the seconds of life tick by …reminding yourself how lucky you are to be breathing and living life.

When I take my first breath upon waking every morning, I say a quick prayer of thanks to my God, thanking him for being alive. That is the best gift, I believe, anyone alive has been granted.

My whole focus from that moment on is to see how it is that I can be of service to and help people get what they want out of life to the best of my ability.

Also, remember, its not just about adding years to your life, its also important to add life in to those years.

Ask yourself how are you going to best achieve that?

Hint: reflect and give thanks.

Until next time,

Balance & symmetry brings you closer to harmony … to beauty …closer to infinity. Just like mathematics does

 

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Do it WRONG to learn to DO IT RIGHT.

I like this hat.

I like this hat.

Experience, matters.

I’ve always believed no experience in life is ‘bad experience’, in absolute terms. Even bad or unfortunate experiences. There is always something you can take away from it. Something you can learn. Something that would add value to your life in the future or possibly now, however small it may be.

I also believe that life is too short to try to get your experience with everything ‘first-hand’. It is better to learn from the experience of others. Seek appropriate coaches. Relevant mentors. If you’re lucky enough to. You could certainly cut the learning curve by a significant amount in anything you set out to accomplish. You don’t have all the time in the world. You could save time. Save your life for more important choices.

Save – you, perhaps?

When my daughter, Olivia, was old enough to hold a colour pencil in her hand she enjoyed drawing on paper, cardboard. Everything really. Scribbling everywhere and anywhere, with no structure.

No boundaries. No beginning, no end. In her young brain, she thought she was doing it – right. That’s all she knew, with regards to colouring, at that point in time.

One day, I decided I would get her to colour in pictures a little bit better. To change her perception of what she thought she was doing right. I felt I had to teach her the ‘basics’ of colouring. But, what was the basics of colouring?

I thought about the final output (a coloured-in picture) and what colouring was made up of. It was obvious. It was an accumulation of closely set straight lines. So, that was it: a straight line. I had to teach my daughter how to:

1. draw a straight line
2. become better at drawing a straight line

I mentioned this to my wife, and she had some reservations about what I wanted to achieve. I sat down at the table like I normally do with my children and said “Olivia, I would like you to focus on one thing only today, when we draw”.

She said “what dad?”

I replied: “I would like you to just draw lines”.

“Just lines?” she queried.

“Yes. Just lines”, I said.

So, I drew an outline of a square on a blank A4 paper. I then proceeded to show her the fundamentals of getting the best possible result from colouring. I said, firstly, lets:

1. Sit up straight with proper posture.
2. Must be comfortable with balance.
3. Relaxed and focused.

I drew a line from one end of the square outline to the other. Then did another line. And repeated, and repeated and repeated. Until the whole square outline was a shaded in square. I told her how the repeated start and stop of a straight line creates colour, texture.

The object (the square) was now ‘coloured-in’.

I told her how it was important to learn how to draw a straight line and be clear on where the start and stop of the line begins and ends. That, just like in many things in life, a picture or drawing may have boundaries. She needed to be aware of them and stay within them.

Also, that if she practiced drawing a defined straight line – repeatedly, she would become better at colouring-in.

She was excited. Excited about the challenge.

I drew her several shapes to colour in with straight lines – another square, a circle and a triangle.

I then asked her to try drawing the straight lines as I had just done. To fill in the shapes. One by one, she did. Tentative at first and unsure of its correctness, she made those first few lines. I kept encouraging her to keep going. She was a little afraid to get it wrong.

I told her not to be afraid. That it was ok to get it wrong. I told her to aim to ‘stay within the line’ of the square, circle and triangle. She needed to focus on ‘filling in the gaps’.

She got it wrong. Again and again and again.

She threw hands up in frustration and stormed away. A few times. I sat there and asked her back. “Lets try again, sweetie. You’re getting better. Its ok to do it wrong. You need to do it wrong to learn to do it right”.

She returned. She did. Multiple times. She did learn to do it right.

It seems this is the same for most endeavours in life requiring skill. Talent alone is not enough. Learning the basics. Repeating perfect technique with deliberate practice builds up to something others may refer to as genius in a particular area.

For example, a rugby player that does not practice basic skills such as catching and passing will not get very far. A violinist that does not practice the basics of her instrument, with deliberate structure and purpose won’t get to the next level. A gym enthusiast that does not learn proper exercise techniques of the basic exercises in the gym would highly likely not get the results he or she desires and increase risks of injuries.

Olivia is a champion colouring in kid, now. She colours in with the skill level of kids far beyond her current age. She is very proud of the pictures she very astutely does. I am very proud of the work she does too.

She wasn’t afraid to do it wrong to learn to do it right. She faced her fear of getting it wrong.

That’s my definition of courage. Facing fear, no matter how small it is.

She got past her frustration. She put in the work. She deliberately practiced those lines. She did the basics, in this case – she learned how to draw a straight line, better than she had ever done before, not some of the times, but all the time. She accepted that ‘close enough’ is ‘not good enough’.

She learned to let go of the ‘almost right’ line to make room for the ‘better line’. Just like in life, some of us have to learn to say ‘no’ to the good to be able to say ‘yes’ to the best.

So, dear readers, remember, when things in life get a little bit more complicated and overwhelming, like it usually does, learn to keep it simple.

What do I mean by this? Well, ask yourself what are the ‘basics’ of the situation/task at hand? Then:

Learn proper execution. Repeat. With Deliberate practice. Persevere and persist.  

Whichever area of life it is. Become the best you can be at the basics. The compound effect of the basics, executed excellently, in any area of life produces the best work. The best ideas. The best innovation. The best sporting teams. The best businesses. The best of everything.

You can go further … become the best you can be at the ‘basics of life’. Smile more. Say ‘hello’ more. Laugh more. Give more. Love more. You can identify many others.

Once again, don’t be afraid to do it wrong to learn to do it right and never be afraid to ask for help. From someone who ‘has been there’ and ‘done that’.

Then, ask yourself how much of your 86,400 seconds of your daily life do you put aside to become better at the ‘business of LIFE’? That’s right – the business of becoming a better human being – a better YOU. I’m not referring to your work or your business. Or your profession.

No.

I’m referring to the business of life.

Your life.

Until next time,

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Eating right actually takes less time than you think. Tip # 7: Food supplements.

Side Chest

Side Chest

Tip #7: Food Supplements.

The food tip says it all – ‘Food supplements’. That is what it is and should not be anything but that.

Just that: supplements! Purpose: to supplement!

Supplementing your diet with some of the countless food supplement products you can get out there today is good for several reasons:

1. Efficiency: allows you to consume your minimum daily requirements of say, with minimum of preparation time, minimum fuss. A typical serving of protein shake would give you anywhere between 20g and 40g of protein. So, depending on your goals and daily protein intake requirements, mixing and drinking a protein shake saves you time. You don’t need to defrost, marinate and cook a steak for example to get that serving of 30 to 40g of protein in to you.

2. Variety available: You have such a plethora of brands, colors and types in our world today, to suit almost every individual taste and want there is. Overcomes food monotony and spices up your taste buds and life with variety.

3. Convenience: very little time taken to prepare and drink the supplement. Particularly relevant for today’s ‘busy’ professional who is in and out of meetings and don’t have the time to sit down to eat a meal.

4. Cost: apart from time cost, supplement companies are at each other’s neck’s with competition and price-wars are very prevalent in today’s world. Increased competition leads to lower cost. Excellent for the discerning customer: you.

5. there are others …..

However, nutrition should be primarily about food – real food. It should not be confused with supplements. Even though this point is of paramount importance, you still find that discussions in and around the gym and training revolve around supplements. You hear gym members asking so ‘what supplements are you taking?” As if there is some magic supplement that everyone else is on that you should be on too.

I’ve been saying it for over two decades now, it does not matter what supplements you take, if you don’t have a sound and proper diet aligned with your goals, all the supplements in the world would not build you the body you want.

Period!

Here are a few things to consider prior to placing some dependence on ‘bodybuilding supplements’:

1. Be clear on what your physical goals are. Eating for mass is quite different to eating to get lean.
2. Set your daily caloric consumption plan (includes protein/carbs/fats portions).
3. Deliberate consumption of macro-nutrient, portion-controlled meals eaten over 5 to evenly-spaced meals towards the daily caloric targets.
4. Adequate daily consumption of water.
5. The generation of lean body mass (muscle) through the routine application and adaption of points 1 through 4.

Once the above points are considered, supplements has a role to play and may assist you move towards your physical goals, faster, if used in the right way.

So, lets have a re-cap of the total time you would take to implement these tips.

Total time taken to apply Top 6 Tips (b/f) = 17 minutes (1020 seconds).
Estimated time to apply Tip 7 (this tip) ~ 3 minutes (180 seconds) *
Total daily estimated time for 7 tips ~ 20 minutes (1200 seconds)

* NOTE: based on the assumption that you will take 2 x protein shake servings at specified time during your day.

So, there you go, my seven tips to a better you this summer and also supporting my subject-heading that “eating right actually takes less time than you think”.

Running total so far ~ 20 minutes (still less than half an hour per day).

Apply Action.

Adapt Accordingly.

 

Until next time,

B&W3284Paul V2 (1)

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Inside-out Roll.

Front double-biceps with Olivia and Zachary for the camera.

Front double-biceps with Olivia and Zachary for the camera.

Family Traditions

My family and I enjoy eating Japanese Sushi. We have it once a week.

It is part of one of our young family evolving traditions – eating out at this point in our lives. My kids enjoy kids tuna and rice sushi pieces and my wife normally digs in to whole larger versions of the sushi roll. She specifically requests for the “Inside-out Roll” with either tuna/avocado or salmon/avocado.

I normally have one or two of these Inside-Out Sushi Rolls in addition to fresh or cooked garlic prawns with a touch of seaweed. Delicious. A weekly treat for the Valentine’s in this phase of our lives.

The inside-out roll got me thinking about life.

How it could symbolise one of the important lessons of life, relating to change and that to change any worthwhile aspect of our life, as part of our self-growth, we need to turn ‘inside-out’.

Just like that sushi roll.

We need to turn ‘within’ to live, happily, without. I have to make a qualification though – you adopt the 80-20 rule ” or principle”, with regards to letting go of things or comforts of life, depending on where and how you choose to live.

To make any change to ourselves, we need to turn ‘inside-out’, to change within to change without.

Eliminate and de-clutter the ‘noise’ that has been uploaded in to your brain since the cradle

Change – REAL CHANGE – comes from the INSIDE-OUT.

Yes, you can make superficial small changes on the surface, but in order to make significant changes and sustain them, you cannot just trim the edges of the bushes. You cannot just rake the leaves off the ground under the tree. The leaves which represent attitude and behaviour.

Nope, you cannot just focus on the ten percent of the ice-berg that you see above water and do some ‘band-aid’ quick-fix personality technique.

Nope, not good enough!

For sustainable change to a significant area in your life, you need to dig at the roots of the tree. You need to work on the ninety percent of the ice-berg that is under the water. You need to get at the cause. You need to get to your belief systems, to become more aware of your fundamentals. Your philosophy of your life so far.

You need to understand YOU better and understand the philosophy or paradigm you adhere to that defines your character at this point in time. Your being. And the lens through which you see the world outside.

It is quite obvious that if we want to make relatively smaller, insignificant changes in our lives, we can perhaps appropriately focus on our attitudes and behaviours. However, if we want to make significant, quantum change, we NEED TO WORK ON OUR PHILOSOPHY. Our basic paradigm.

This is how change, sustainable significant change, can only come about successfully by working on yourself from the inside-out, just like that tasty inside-out sushi roll.

So, what can you do to make change happen that could have a positive and possibly significant impact on your life?

Try this: become more patient with yourself.

Just like muscle growth, patience is key. So, to change the world, change within. Change is essential to life. If you’re not changing, you’re not living. With change, one is forced to consider adapting.

It is in the process of adaptation, that one appreciates growth (with muscle growth and also with life growth). Changing within to live without, allows for growth. A worked muscle is usually a little ‘tender’ the next day or two. Implementing change inside-out leads to muscle growth, leads to self-growth.

Just like muscle growth, self-growth is tender, a little precious even. Work on it. Persist. Build change from within. Then, preserve it.

Sustainable Self-growth and muscle growth occurs best through the inside-out approach. Remember, though, for growth to be positive, you need to work hard at maintaining the environment that helps create that growth.

Both are two of the most important investments you will ever make in your life.

Good luck!

Until next time,

Cheers & Ahoy!

 

The Old Cap’n Viking Pirate

Back Double Biceps Placing: 2nd in Australia

Back Double Biceps
Placing: 2nd in Australia

Champions practise a lot of visualisation and simulation.
To create magic, you need to fuse the worlds of sanity (where you are) with insanity (where you dream/imagine you are, before you are).
That is difficult.
That is one of the key keys.
Don’t stop. Trying. Believing.
Keep on … keeping on. You’ll get there. Everyone always does.
Especially, if you do it with your heart. and ….
with LOVE.

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