action, adaptation, ageing, life

Give ‘The Finger’ and feel good about it.

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It was only yesterday that I had to GIVEthe finger. And I felt good about it.

You must be thinking, “gee Paul, isn’t that a bit vulgar?!”

Well, you’re entitled to think what you want to think, but before you form an opinion, read a little further.

I give ‘the finger’ at least once a week here in Sydney and it gives me a sense of gratitude when I do. For me, this gesture that involves “the finger” is just one of the many ways, however small it is, to GIVE.

Yes, you read right – to GIVE. I really feel great when I give ‘the finger!’.

Let me elaborate…

Olivia and I were on our way home from our ‘Daddy-daughter’ excursion yesterday. As we turned off the main road, I slowed the car as I saw an elderly lady on the curb wishing to cross.

I came to a complete stop, looked up at the lady as I raised ‘the finger’ (my index finger) and she smiled at me.

The finger was raised (some of you probably raise the hand) with a little nod of the head and a responsive smile, acknowledging her and giving her right of way to cross the road. The elderly lady slowly made her way, moving her aged frame, step by step past the front of the car. I studied her movements and tried to ‘feel’ the discomfort she was feeling as she walked.

My observations told me that she obviously had postural issues that impacted on her ease of mobility (in this case, simply walking). It appeared she had excessive scoliosis and her gate was severely limited. And the expression on her face gave me some idea of the pain she was experiencing each step she took.

But I wondered, no I am certain she wasn’t always like this. She once was walking straighter, bouncing around full of vitality and walking as if there wasn’t a care in the world. When she was younger …. Part of HER STORY.

Everyone has a story. She is writing hers as you are the author of yours.

It makes me think about the millions of other aged persons in the world who experience unwanted discomfort in carrying out the most basic of tasks like walking, every single day. Not a nice way to live out the remainder of their lives.

It is a slippery slope for a lot of older men and women from a physical stand-point. For all of us actually as we are constantly ageing.

Fewer skeletal muscles due to atrophy and lack of muscle-use compounds the difficulties experienced in mobility (refer to my previous blog for top 3 pointers to get started).

But the thing is – physical pain is not the worst part!

No, I believe it is the mental, spiritual and emotional pain.

The lack of mobility leads to the worst problem: the persons’ deteriorating ‘sense of self’ and ‘self-worth’ and ‘self-image’. Now this is where the risk is highest. An exaggerated view of the lack of the above issues can cause an accelerated journey towards the grave. Why? Because I think they lose their dignity. Nobody likes to lose their sense of dignity… and should not be allowed to.

Nobody. Every person has a STORY.

Remember: it is never too late to start a weight-bearing exercise program. Never too late, no matter how old you are and how out of condition you are in.

Start. Today. Start – Now!

Two or three times per week. Put yourself in that old lady’s shoes. Seize life by the horns and take back control of your state of mind to lead you towards building muscles. Take back control of your body. Your spirit. Take care of your WHOLE – SELF.

Think about it.

Build this anti-ageing magical essence (muscle) and EMPOWER the most important person in the world to you: YOU. You have the power in your hands now to partially help your state of dignity in old age. Put those weights in your hands and lift. Lift as if your life depended on it!

The sad thing is that IT DOES. The quality of your last 20 years of your life in old age depends on the available muscle you have. Do yourself that favour before it is too late.

Back to my drive with Olivia ….

As the old lady approaches the other side of the road she looks back, produces a thankful smile and GIVES me ‘the finger’ too.

I was grateful for that gesture. I gave respect and she returned it. Thank you.

I smile again in response and say a little prayer for her as I stepped on the accelerator and drive off home with a sense of gratitude but also a sense of sadness too.

A sadness in my heart for the pain and discomfort that that lady and many aged persons like her in the world experience every single day, slowly eating away at their dignity and quality of life.

The scary thing is that these ‘aged-related illnesses’ are increasingly affecting younger generations today, but I will leave that observation for a future blog.

If there is one gift you could buy yourself or your mum/dad or grandparents that could have the biggest impact on a life – buy them a gym membership and get them help to empower themselves (physically). That could turn out to be the most important gift you may ever buy for you or your loved ones.

Everyone now, all raise ‘the finger’ to yourself in the mirror and just DO IT! Remind yourself about what “the finger” represents – respect. Respect to YOU.

“Do what? “, I hear you say.

I say: “Build, protect and preserve your muscles. It WILL serve you well in the years ahead.”

All the best in your decision.

Until next time,

Side Triceps. Australian Natural Bodybuilding Championships. Lost by 2 points. Final placing: Runner-up.

Side Triceps.
Australian Natural Bodybuilding Championships.
Lost by 2 points.
Final placing: Runner-up.

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adaptation, awareness, Beliefs, choices

The Mirror of Love.

My children - Olivia and Zachary striking a 'front double-biceps' pose for the camera. Watch out, these Valentine Guns are loaded!

My children – Olivia and Zachary striking a ‘front double-biceps’ pose for the camera. Watch out, take cover, these Valentine Guns are loaded!

Firstly, what does a mirror do?

It can do many things but mainly it is used to reflect light and images from it. Mirrors are all around us – in our homes, in gyms in office spaces and in the toilets. Mirrors are very useful and some of us can’t do without them.

The mirror I am talking about in this blog is what I refer to as the “Mirror of Love”. This name represents the behaviour of children mimicking what they observe in the home, reflecting what they ‘see’ just like mirrors do.

Put simply, children are like mirrors.

My children already reflect so much of what my wife and I do and say. It is uncanny. If you are a parent you would also agree. Watching them mimic you. It forces me to constantly reflect and evaluate how I could have handled a situation better. It raises our game as parents.

You see, children tend to reflect love much more than they initiate it. It seems, if love is given to them, they return it. If none is given, they have little or none to offer. You see, I believe children find their way in life by ‘seeing reflections’. We were all once children, who did you reflect in your mirror of love? Reflect on your life, who were the people in your family growing up that you believe had a strong effect on your personality and behaviour? My grandfather was and still is a lasting influence on my life – in my Mirror of Love.

Children discover themselves by looking at you as a parent. This sense of self-discovery is happening every single moment you or your carer are with them. The thing about mirrors is that it can be dirty or marred and so does not reflect the true image. Or it can show distorted images like the ones we see at amusement parks. I regularly take my kids to Luna Park here in Sydney, Australia and there are a few of these mirrors there, distorting the images of people who walk past them.

We don’t want our children’s sense of self-worth, self-esteem and confidence to be distorted like those mirrors, do we?!

This mirror of love I am referring to could be either clean and provide a clear reflection or it could be dim and marred. This mirror of love is a huge responsibility for every parent. How can we, as parents increase the chance that this mirror of love is clean and showing the true reflections? We can all do this by giving unconditional and constant love. To each other and to our children. This is the cleaning agent that can only be used to increase the clarity in this mirror of love. Period!

Making your love for your children conditional will not serve them well as they develop. I believe it could cause havoc with their sense of self-esteem and self-confidence in their later years. When parental love is conditional and inconsistent, the ‘mirror of love’ encourages children to move in the opposite direction to that which is desirable. Their self-concept suffers as they question who they are from day to day.

Not ideal.

As parents, we have all got to be aware of this trap, the trap of conditional love.

I’ve always believed that nothing goes right in life if the home-front isn’t set up right. The home-front needs to be constantly worked on. The home atmosphere is one of the most important qualitiesand is dictated by parents.

The home atmosphere should be the first place to work on. Why? Because the home atmosphere could be one of the most powerful influences on a child’s self-esteem and self-concept. This is the foundation of their emotional growth, their emotional deposits in to the emotional bank account. They will call on these emotional deposits in their future life. As parents, we have got to encourage more and more emotional deposits in their savings account.

Each home has its own atmosphere – few children are blessed with a home that has an atmosphere that is warm, relaxed, calm, friendly, accepting, encouraging and upbeat.

Work hard, very hard to create and maintain such an environment. It allows families to stave off most of the recurring negative emotional diseases of modern life. You name it: anger, jealousy, impatience etc.

As parents, remember, you control the atmosphere in which your children grow up in. You are making a major investment of love and care and money and time in your family and you want a good return on your investment – not just for you but for your children too.

Children’s feelings are based on ‘the amount of time and energy parents invested in them’. Because of the increasing levels of stress parents live with in today’s world from the demands of their jobs, it appears that a lot of parents just don’t have the resilience to deal calmly with normal childhood behaviours. I have observed and learned this in my time in the gym in my associations with parents.

It takes a lot out of parents to keep family and career and all the other obligations in balance – especially when both parents are working.

Parents are on a thin edge and are on the verge of breaking a lot of times because of all the pressure of trying to keep that ‘work-life balance’. When it breaks, and it does for many families, it is the family life that breaks.

A broken home-front. Not ideal.

Before this happens or is at a higher risk of occurring, stop and reflect on your use of your time. Can you spend more time with your family and children (if you honestly think you aren’t doing so)?

What can you do as parents?

Well, firstly WORK on yourself.

In my associations with hundreds of couples and parents over the last 23 years in the gym, I have learned quite a bit about issues relating to the raising of children. One of the most important things and ultimately what really matters in the development of your child is just TIME. Not ‘quality time’ but just time. Try spending more time with your children, and don’t miss a chance to tell them that you love them and letting them know that they are important to you if you aren’t already doing so.

Try and do this often.

In this phase of my life, I am very fortunate to be able to spend a lot of time with my two children. They are growing up very fast.

I understand that part of my role as a parent (along with my wife) in my Christian family is the commitment to the caring about all the needs of my family members – emotional, physical, psychological and spiritual. This builds unity.

Remember, the loving times shared by family add to the strength of the individuals and also of the family as a unit. Memories are created when we spend leisure time to play or rest or travel or reading or whatever we like to do.

Make those memories happen. Make it before they grow up and it is too late. Give the most important gift to your children: your time. No amount of money can buy back that time.

Never forget this: Children Learn What They Live.

And also, clean the ‘mirror of love’ with constant and unconditional love – everyday!

I am sure we will all do our best.

Until next time,

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adaptation, awareness, Beliefs, dreams

I spy with my little eyes …

Training in my Old School Gym adopting Old School Training techniques with a modern twist. Know the basics. Apply the basics. Adapt to the basics. Keep it simple and keep it continuous. Its the most efficient, most effective and safe approach to building a muscular physique in the gym. Find a gym with minimum distraction if you desire results. Focus! Paul.

Training in my Old School Gym adopting Old School Training techniques with a modern twist. Know the basics. Apply the basics. Adapt to the basics. Keep it simple and keep it continuous. Its the most efficient, most effective and safe approach to building a muscular physique in the gym. Find a gym with minimum distraction if you desire results. Focus! Paul.

Time will tell what truth our children search foratvel

Marvel at the intelligence behind their thinking
We (my wife and I) play a game with our children we call “I spy with my little eyes” whenever we’re sitting for any length of time. It could be anywhere but mostly when we’re in the car. The kids enjoy it. I mainly like the game because it teaches my kids to be in the ‘present’ and helps increase their awareness of their external environment.

It also challenges them to compete and think. I sit back and marvel at the intelligence behind their thinking and how fast they embrace change.

My daughter is getting quite good at playing the game now and is thinking of ways to make the guessing harder. She dislikes losing but I try and remind her that tasting defeat and failure teaches you to appreciate success and winning, when it happens.

“And it does happen” I tell her.

“Patience is key”.

My kids watching my wife exercising (doing Deadlifts) in the gym…
They’re learning about how strong their mother is … and the importance of healthy lifestyle choices

Roller-coaster of life 
She has not fully understood the idea of the virtues of patience yet but she is responding to losing much better now than she used to. She is not afraid to have another go. She is slowly learning to face her fear of failure, of losing. A very important lesson to understand in the roller-coaster of life.

I try to explain to her that losing is like falling off her scooter when she is riding her scooter. What’s important is not that she falls. What’s important is that she learns to catch herself better each time she falls and pick herself up faster. And ….

… try again!

This time, with a little more care. With experience, comes smarts.

So, using the scooter analogy, I tell her that when she loses a game of “I Spy with my little eyes’ to dad – to me, or her mother she needs to firstly, accept the loss graciously, learn from it and then ….

… try again!

She does. And she is now winning more games then she is losing and has learned to respond to losing more positively.

Very soon, she will win all the games I play against her. One day in the future, she may remind me of the importance of accepting a loss and being gracious in defeat. I look forward to that day. It will remind me that I will be in another phase of my life and also that we’re all never too old to be reminded of life’s lessons.

Enjoy a swim … enjoying regular Family Time is critical to strong 💪 foundation of character

Re-set our personal GPS 

It helps to re-set our personal GPS (Goals) for Life if we have gone off course a little.

What is your GPS for Life like? Does it need re-calibrating? Don’t be afraid to do so. Its never too late to re-align your GPS for your Life just like we do when we refer to maps on our phones when we need direction. It never too late just like you’re never too old to join a gym and start lifting weights towards a better YOU.

A small change in direction may result in a huge change in where you end up at the end of your life just like a miniscule difference of 1 nautical degree could change a ship’s destination point by tens of kilometers. Don’t just use your eyes to see what’s in front of you, use your eyes (through imagination) to see what is not there yet.

Desire it. Feel it in your heart.

Reflect. Take some time out to reflect on your life these holidays, in all areas in the sphere of your life – relationships, family, career, financial, spiritual, physical. If you’re waiting to add it to your list of resolutions in the New Year, great!

Reflect on the falls you have had (and lets be honest, we all have had some to date). Take the lessons. Learn how to fall better in the future. Have no fear. Have no doubt. Each fall leads you closer to a better result.

Re-set your GPS, we all need to do so every so often as we journey through life. The New Year is a great time to do so – to catalyze and crystallize your GPS as you work towards a better you.

A better life.

Be safe this festive season and a prosperous 2015 to you!

Until next time …

foundations of a gritty strong character Begins in the Family … in the home …

My children striking their version of one of the seven compulsory poses in bodybuilding – the “Front-double biceps” pose.
… and strike!

 

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action, awareness, Beliefs

To live in Hope.

I love the word ‘hope’. I always have.

It is a simple word that encompasses so much. I love it because it allows you to dream and imagine, imagine a better you, a better street, a better community, a better suburb, a better state, a better country and a better world.

Hope inspires every believer to be more. To give more to life. To live more life in their years. To give more to the lives of others.

However, it seems that all acts of hope can open up people to ridicule because it can be seen as unreal – impractical. Many think of hope as nothing more than wishing, because it does not exist in the physical realm. Because people cannot ‘see’ it, they believe it does not exist. The funny thing is that I believe that we all want things we think are impossible but most have better sense than to spend any money or commit their lives to them.

This is where non-believers have it wrong.

You see hope is the reality that already ‘is’ before it actually happens. Hope allows people to ‘connect’ and communicate with God and commit to actions to fulfill their dream. The thing is that God will meet them half way …

In today’s world where there is a lot of decay, the only practical action is to have ‘hope’. This is the only true way of being really practical but it is very difficult. It is very difficult in today’s world because many societies are impractical. Many do not believe in wishful thinking.

If we are to truly live in hope than we need to be impractical. People who are hopeful commit themselves to hope-envisioned actions which are frequently in opposition to the actions of peers.

It takes courage to live and act in hope. It is however, the only practical action as it is the only action that escapes the scrapheap of yesterday’s trends and overcomes the decay of the moment. It is the only action that moves everyone past anger, hurt, guilt, sadness, selfishness and all other examples of decay of the moment.

It is the only action that survives unspeakable crimes to you, to me, to our families, to our communities, to our nation and to our world.

So, clench your fist, grab life by the horns and give it your best go.

Lets all unite and give hope (wishful thinking) and hope-envisioned actions a try – for a better life.

Let’s live in hope for a better life for all …

Until next time,

Paul V2 (1)

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An attitude of gratitude.

Some wise person once said:

Its not your aptitude, but your attitude that determines your altitude in life.”

Pretty wise words, don’t you think? You probably don’t need to look very far – look at the immediate people in your circle of life to see examples of this aphorism.

Maybe even you.

Being grateful for all that we have is a way of thinking.

You probably have your own way of giving appreciation to whoever you speak to. Whichever way it is, the essence of it is communication and routine. Ideally, giving thanks should be done daily and not only when you’re in real trouble or at a special occasion, like a funeral for example.

It can be done at any time convenient for you.

Me – I try and say a prayer of thanks every time I eat a meal. That is a minimum of six times a day. You pray for the meal to be blessed, thank the good Lord (or whatever higher force you believe in) for your blessings and ask for continued blessings for you, your family and friends and the world at large.

My wife and I have always prayed together, before consuming our meals and we also try to say a prayer before sleeping at night. Our kids have come along and they also join us in prayer. They take turns in leading the prayers now that they are both older.

It’s a family habit. Part of our daily routines.

But I believe there is more to gratitude. It not only reminds us of not taking anything for granted. It humbles us. It puts a certain level of perspective on life.

It is essentially the choice of attitude of the person and their attitude to life. There is magic in being grateful. There is magic in having a thankful spirit.

This magic, I believe, is POWER.

Yes, power!

How is that, you may ask?

Well, I believe a thankful spirit has the power to overcome anger with love; it has the power to subordinate fear with courage; it replaces sadness with happiness and has the power to feel not jealousy but genuine joy at another’s success.

Having a thankful spirit and an attitude of gratitude has the power to inspire productivity and innovation over lack of creativity. Being grateful releases guilt with an heart of forgiveness.

An attitude of gratitude has the power to allow one to grow with an abundance of love
and self-sharing over greed and hatred.

It is a form of power, not as you know it but power none-the-less. An intangible one at times.

So, there you have it, some reasons why I believe that an attitude of gratitude is power.

Knowing that it is a form of power is not power. No, ‘knowing’ is potential power. Applying an attitude of gratitude on a daily basis, now that is power. The power rests in the choosing.

Check your attitude and work on your attitude of gratitude if you think you need to. You may just surprise yourself with how much more you get out of life, by giving more in to it, through choosing your best attitude, always.

Feel, really feel, that intangible power.

Start with a ‘reverse bucket list’ to put some structure to it. Some people do.

What is it? Well, a reverse bucket list is simply a list of things you have done, places you’ve visited and opportunities you have experienced in your life to date. How is this an exercise of gratitude you may be thinking?

You see, when you write it down and then look over what you have written, you can reminisce and be grateful for what you have achieved and done in your life so far. You may even shock and surprise yourself with what you have achieved.

Keep adding to that list as the seconds of life tick by …reminding yourself how lucky you are to be breathing and living life.

When I take my first breath upon waking every morning, I say a quick prayer of thanks to my God, thanking him for being alive. That is the best gift, I believe, anyone alive has been granted.

My whole focus from that moment on is to see how it is that I can be of service to and help people get what they want out of life to the best of my ability.

Also, remember, its not just about adding years to your life, its also important to add life in to those years.

Ask yourself how are you going to best achieve that?

Hint: reflect and give thanks.

Until next time,

Balance & symmetry brings you closer to harmony … to beauty …closer to infinity. Just like mathematics does

 

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adaptation, Energy, life, mind, muscles, needs

Attitude – the key to Adaptation.

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Look around you.

The world is winning some battles and losing others.

We do not seem to be winning a lot of battles – the eradication of terrorism, the conflict in the middle-east or the tensions within certain European Nations.

We seem to be winning the battle against infectious diseases and certain cancers which is good. All external battles. However, we seem to be losing ground to those battles that result from our own “inner conflicts”.

Inner conflicts, some of which are brought about by life’s stresses. How stressed are you? What are your inner daemons? Are you a tortoise or a cheeter? What I mean by this is how fast or slow do you move when you are faced with stress? Knowing how much stress you can handle is vital to your sanity in the fast pace of life that is your life today. The first stage to self development is self-awareness and trying to find your normal stress level in life is vital for you in managing it.

So once again, are you a tortoise or a cheeter?

Stress is part of life, part of everyday living. There are good stresses and there are bad stresses. A good stress is the force your muscles are put under when you lift weights. A bad stress could be thoughts about how certain work situations would turn out before it actually happens. The first step to managing stress is being adaptable.

Adapting to stresses in life should be viewed as a normal part of life. When stress is treated and accepted as ‘normal’ in the mind, that it is just another variable of life, adapting to changes in circumstances is easier.

Through increased self-awareness, you understand your tolerance level to stresses (are you a tortoise or cheeter?). What your challenge is to work towards maintaining coolness and presence of mind under all circumstances … being in control-always ….. calmness amid a storm … clearness of judgment in moments of great danger. How do you do this?

Adaptation is the answer.

A big part of being adaptable is having a positive mental attitude to whatever curve-ball life throws at you. And there probably have been hurdles you have faced to date and there will likely be many more. Its not how many hurdles you face that matters but it is how you respond to them that is of much importance. How you adapt.

Your response is dependent on your attitude as ‘you are what you think’. In the medical industry more and more evidence is showing that our attitude is a stronger indicator of our pending recovery than our physical status or prognosis. A positive mental attitude determines so many variables, in health and in the quality of your life.

Your attitude is either the key or the hand-cuffs to your ability to adapt to changing circumstances. The path you take in life.

Your attitude is never static, never constant. It is an ongoing dynamic, sensitive, perceptual process. The attitude you choose to display is entirely up to you – a choice you consciously make.

It is said to be the most powerful and priceless personality characteristic one can possess.

Everyone has the capacity to be positive under almost any circumstances. A positive attitude is the key to success in any problem solving procedure or major lifestyle change. With a consistently positive attitude it is possible to win the game of life in all directions: personal satisfaction, strong relationships and success in a meaningful career.

I repeat, your first step is to find what your ‘normal’ stress level is – are you a tortoise or a cheeter. Determine your tolerance level. Just like muscle, you need to know what your physical stress limitations are before you increase weights. Lifting excessive weights and putting your muscles under undue stress can likely lead to injuries and you can physically feel and see it.

Not determining your ‘normal’ stress level could likely lead to injuries too – only unlike physical injuries sustained through ego-training rather than proper, educated weight training in the gym, you cannot see it because you sustain ‘injury to the mind’.

Be courageous and harness your most priceless possession: a positive mental attitude.

This is the key to successful adaptation.

Until next time,

Below: Doing a “Side Chest Pose” on stage at the Australian Natural Bodybuilding Championships – 2011.

Placing: 2nd place.

Mens_Under_80kg_Prejudging-1040

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a better life, attitude, awareness, basics of training, better choices, body, choices, courage, decisions, ego, Energy, game of life, Leader, life, long-term perspective, mind-muscle connection, muscle building, muscles, patience, perspective, risk, safe training, self discipline, strengths, success, you, your life

Leave your ego at the door.

 

Slay your ego!

Principle of muscle building 

The title of this blog could be applied to many areas of life but in this case, it relates to working out in the gym.

A very important principle of muscle building and I have followed it since I learned of it in my late teens, slowly accumulated my hours in the gym.

There are many variables to building muscles and many principles to training. Leaving your ego at the door would have to be one of the most important philosophies because aside from allowing me to get the most out of each workout and get maximum gains in muscle building, it would also be a significant reason why I have stayed injury-free for over two decades of training with weights in the gym.

Well, I tell all the youth that I see training with less than ideal technique in the gym, “to get muscle gains you need to leave your ego at the door”.

Drop the weight down and use something you can handle safely. What I mean by this is that if its muscle-maximization you’re after, then, lose the thought that if you lift very heavy weights, you will automatically get bigger muscles. True but not true. Firstly, accept that you’re not a weight-lifter or power-lifter. How strong you are does not build the biggest muscles.

Maintain control & feel when you’re containing the Lion within you. Leave the ego at the door.

Control and feel

Strength does correlate to muscle-size but only to a point. So, to build muscles one must try to focus on control and feel for any exercise one is doing. You need to keep it simple and have continuous tension on the muscle group throughout the range of motion with good form.

If you load up the weight and sacrifice good form, you’re unlikely to build muscle but instead increase your risk of injury. This could then keep you from the gym which then may get you down and de-motivated. You take one step forward, four steps back in your quest to build muscle and transform your physique.

End result: mediocre muscle development. Not what you desired.

Its not how much you lift that matters but how you lift. Ask yourself the question “how well am I doing this exercise?” each time you perform it. Keep it simple. Focus on the feel of the exercise and maintain control throughout the execution of the exercise. It is highly likely that you are using a weight that is too heavy for you if you lose control and feel while performing a ‘set’ of  your exercise and not completing the required number of repetitions at a specific tempo. Instead of building muscle, you’re only working your ego.

Find the courage to keep going.
Right.
The courage rests in you.
Take Lead, be the Leader that YOU are.

Say No to “No Pain, No Gain “ Maxim


Now if that is your intention then fine but if you’re serious about getting good results, stay away from the old, hard-core maxim: No pain, no gain! Seems to only apply when you’re using excessive weights. Instead keep my maxim below in mind: “Work the muscle, not the joint!”

Working out in the gym is a great way to transform your physique from the person you see in the mirror now to the person you imagine yourself to be. To do so, keep your ego in check, leave your ego at the door and instead be patient and make incremental steps towards your ultimate strength and body re-engineering goals.

Learn proper technique. Practise it religiously. Be patient with your progress. Become a better master of your instrument ‘your body’, just like a musician would with practise.

Eat nutritionally-balanced meals aligned with your goals and give your body adequate rest and recovery time to adapt and develop.

Train well. Eat well. Rest well.

Repeat.

Until next time, best of vitality to you.

yours in iron, mind & muscles 💪,

 

Paul e 💝alentine

It is a great feeling to do this … but make sure it isn’t your ego that is leading. I made 2 World Championships partly because others said I couldn’t. A great feeling to prove people wrong. 
If it is Stubbornness & not ego leading … well that’s ok.

Me & Mr Fuzzy/Fussy cuddles at my favourite beach 🏖 here in beautiful Sydney, Australia 🇦🇺

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7.5 Key Habits that would reduce your risk of the flu this winter.

Change your philosophy, change your life.
Vv.

My wife and I are celebrating our 10 year wedding anniversary next week. Wow, a wonderful achievement. A milestone reached. I mentioned it to a long-term client and friend of mine and he said:

“well, that is a milestone indeed, Paul. Congratulations. One thing it does say, Paul, is that it reflects the tolerance you both have had for your short-falls in character – your character flaws. It shows you’re willingness to grow and adapt to one another, for your togetherness.”

I thought about this ‘togetherness’ and I agree.

I’ve certainly adapted and she has, too. We have grown individually and together as one. But upon reflection, I realised that before you have adaptation as a choice, one needs to precede it with Awareness followed by the application of Action. Yes, appropriate and relevant action. This then leads to the critical step of Adaptation, if one hopes to have sustainable change.

So, in effect, it is the application of my Triple A to Life Philosophy: Awareness; Action; Adaptation.

There are many ways of approaching a potential risk or problem but you can certainly apply my Triple A approach to improving you personal immunity and reducing your health risks. Lowering your Risks of illness or susceptibility to the common flu or cold if you do get sick quite often during the colder months of the year.

My wife tells me that she has never met or knows anyone in her life so far that gets sick fewer times than me, I think she said that she can only remember me being ‘sick’ (and not a case of ‘man-flu’) a handful of times in the 13 and half years we have been together.

I asked her why she thinks that is the case and she identified some 7.5 key daily habits that she has seen me do consistently since she has been with me.

She said:

Key Habit One: I drink loads of water.

She is true.

I do drink, in my opinion – ‘adequate’ daily requirement of H2O, generally, approximately 1L of water per 20 kg of body-weight. Currently, I am drinking about 4.5L of water per day. Adequate daily levels or water is a huge part of my clients’ success with my body re-engineering programs.

I consistently find that most if not all my clients were not drinking sufficient water at the start of their program.

For the average person, your daily guide should be to drink 1L of water per 25kg-30kg of bodyweight (after taking in to other considerations such as age, exercise experience, activity levels, health condition etc).

Beauty is Truth, truth – beauty. That is all there is on earth ..and all ye need to know.
Be aware of the beauty with and around you.
Don’t just look, ‘see’

Key Habit Two: I eat loads of Dark Green vegetables

She is true, again.

I always tell my clients that if its green and not a frog – eat it!

Yep, load up on your dark green vegetables, something most of you would have been told by adults in your youth. Amongst other things, greens fill you up and addresses your satiety levels better, adds loads of fibre to your bowels and helps the transportation of oxygen through the blood and with it, vital nutrients for the optimal functioning of organs, especially the most vital: the brain.

Guideline: aim to consume 1cup of dark green vegetables (broccoli, spinach or long beans) for at least 1 meal per day for the first 2 weeks and work up to 2 meals per day for the next 2 weeks. See how your body changes and notice how your energies improve. Maintain a minimum of 2 meals per day with dark green vegetables in it for 90 days and see how your good body and mind feel and look. Try it!

Showing a top athlete client of mine what and how I eat. Can you see the dark green vegetables?
If it’s green and not a frog, eat it!

Key Habit Three: I wash my hands loads of times

My wife is absolutely true – again!

I learned way back in primary school that germs and a lot of bad bacteria is spread through the hands and is one of the main instigators of illness. I made a conscious effort all the way back then to keep my hands relatively clean as much as a I possible could, every single day. As a result, I wash my hands before and after almost everything I do. It may be a bit obsessive compulsive now but the risk of not doing so far outweighs the inconvenience of frequently washing hands.

Guideline: Try washing your hands more frequently if you’re not already doing so. Try and become aware of cleanliness of your hands and increase the frequency of hand washing. With soap. Act. Repeat consistently and persistently.

Adapt accordingly.

Key Habit Four: I eat loads of Protein in diet

She said ‘loads’ but I would have to disagree, not ‘loads’ but ‘adequate daily intake requirement’ of protein.

After water, the protein is the most abundant substance in the body. It is the life blood of your being. Yes, I do to ensure that my hard-working muscles get sufficient muscle-replenishing protein for repair work post work-out but also because it fills me up better than the weighed-equivalent amount of carbohydrates or fats, for example:

Give this a try. Eat 200g of chicken breast and 200g of white rice. Compare which one fills you up better and keeps you fuller – for longer. Yep, the chicken does, doesn’t it? Protein is more filling. Protein are the ‘building blocks’ of muscles and the human body and mind. Without adequate levels – you feel like crap and you wilter away like a plant uncared for.

Here’s my guideline: determine what your LBM or lean body mass is (the mass of your body that isn’t fat). If you honestly assess your daily intake of protein for a week, you will find that you would most probably not be eating even daily minimum requirement to maintain your LBM. Apply appropriate action and eat more protein: chicken, fish, lamb, pork, tofu and eggs are great sources. Your guide should be 1g of protein per kg of lean body weight, but of course, you need to consider other factors like age, activity levels, fitness levels etc. So, LOAD UP ON PROTEIN! So, if you’re a 200lbs male, with a normal bodyfat percentage of 25%, your LBM would be about 150lbs. If you exercise 3-5 times per week, then your body would need anywhere between 140g and 180g of protein just to sustain your LBM.

How do you consume that amount of protein every day, you may ask. Well, you need to ‘split’ your meals up and consume more better composed meals. So you may have, for example, 5 meals per day, with 30g per of protein per meal, which totals 150g per day. Sufficient and not excessive by any means. What gives you 30g of protein, you ask? Well, every 30g of lean meat gives you approximately 7g of protein, so you would need 120g of lean meat to give you 28g of protein. That is about a ¼ of what the average male would eat when he eats a piece of steak (anywhere between 350g and 500g) at lunch or worse, dinner in one sitting!

So, think about your portions of meals and adding more frequent, well-compositioned meals.

I hear people say, well, Paul, isn’t it quite pedantic to measure your meat weight and meals?

I say, no. It is necessary! We measure everything else, don’t we? I mean, we rely on measurements with everything else in our lives, think about it, would you not measure how much money you are paying for fuel? What about measuring your feet for proper fitting shoes? What about getting length of trousers wrong, wouldn’t that piss you off? We live with measurements with everything else in our lives except what is going in to our mouths. So, get yourself a scale that graduates all the way down to milligrams and start weighing my friend.

If you can’t measure something, you certainly cannot manage it!

In the gym.
Adequate levels of protein helps repair and build ‘worked’ muscles.
Give your body what it wants … after water, protein is the most abundant substance and everything in the body, every process, comes down to amino acids and the communication between them.
So eat protein I say!

Key Habit Five: I load up when in the gym

She is correct, again.

Since I picked up my first dumbbell at 17 years of age, I have consistently and persistently made gym training a part of my life, becoming entwined in to my chosen lifestyle and a vital and necessary part of me. My life.

I don’t believe in light weights. Period!

To get the best ‘bang out of your buck’ when you’re in the gym, nothing beats free weights and gravity. You need to use MODERATE TO HEAVY weights though and stay away from ridiculously light weights that you see many people use (unless you’re warming up your joints and/or in rehab). For the comparative amount of time you invest in any physical activity, nothing beats the results you get when you DO THE BASICS – in the gym. In terms of efficiency and effectiveness of health, strength and fitness benefits, in the short-term and the long-term, nothing beats the basics. What are the basics? Well, they are:

  • Deadlifts
  • Back Squats
  • Bench Presses

You can throw in some other full body movements like: clean and presses and lat-pulldowns and lunges with a few arm curls and dips. Workout done!

Neuroscience confirms that exercise, specifically weight-training, stimulates neurogenesis – the birth of new brain cells. You get smarter!! An estimated 3 million people (about 12.5% of the population) suffer live with anxiety or depression. A staggering number indeed.

Guess what, regular exercise of moderate to heavy intensity can be an effective adjunct treatment for depression. Both aerobic and strength training are very helpful in treating depression.

Remember: “Health is a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity.” WHO.

Guideline: Get back to BASICS. Keep it FUNCTIONAL. Keep it SIMPLE. With CONTINUITY and PATIENCE. How much exercise then, Paul you ask? Well, the Australian National Physical Activity Guidelines recommend: 

  • doing exercise is better than doing none.
  • be active on most days of the week.
  • Each week try to do 2 1/2 to 5 hours moderate intensity exercise or 11/4 to 2 1/2 hours of vigorous intensity physical activity.
  • Do muscle strengthening activities on at least 2 days each week.

So, there you go. Just do it.

Try it!

Muscle is precious. Build muscle then, do everything you can to preserve it.
I load up in the gym!

Key Habit Six: I limit my intake of sugar

She is not wrong.

I do try and limit my intake of direct sugar but also am aware of the indirect sugars in other foods. To do this I try to eat more foods that come straight from the ground. The less processed the better for you.

Sugar – this insidious killer is not only the most addictive substance on this planet but almost every living human being cannot say no to it. It is the biggest killer of the human race – add up all the deaths caused by every other cause and I bet you will find it pales in comparison to the deaths caused by sugar, either directly or indirectly. That is how serious this matter is.

It is the over-consumption of it that results in many health, and dare I say it, mental problems.

There is direct correlation between food and mood. Meaning, there are clear dose-response relationships between diet and level of mental health and well-being. What I practise is very similar to what Scientists refer to as the “Mediterranean Diet” which emphases high consumption of plants (vegetables, fruits, nuts) and rich in good fats.

How do I do it? Well, whenever I get sugar cravings I substitute with either of the following:

  •  100g of blueberries
  • 150g grapefruit
  • Cup of green tea

My Guideline: become more aware of sugar in foods you put in your mouth and do your best to eliminate direct sugars from you diet, one at a time. Its difficult at first, I know but give it a try – persist. One less teaspoon sugar may just mean lesser health costs later in life. Maybe, a teaspoon less of sugar in your coffee or tea or drop the honey from your cereal.

Neuroscience studies show that eating too much sugar is linked to weight gain (we all know this), obesity, type 2 diabetes and cardiovascular disease (CVD), stroke, high blood pressure (hypertension) and age-related illness of Dementia. Diabetes is the risk factor for cognitive decline and dementia. The widespread assumption that sugar consumption can lead to addiction is inaccurate based on neuroscientific defintions of addiction, tolerance and withdrawal.

Remember this: “What we eat really affects our brain, our behaviour, our neural circuits, and our health in many ways. “ Neuroscience SFN 2014.

A healthy, balance diet encourages a healthy balance of gut microbes and there is a strong and definite Gut-Brain-Microbe connection. Having too much sugar can disrupt the gut-brain balance which disrupt signalling which may lead to abnormal brain function, changes in behaviour, thoughts, emotions, our perception of pain and impact on our immune system.

Resulting in increased susceptability to getting sick and being ill. So, in a roundabout way … try out these key habits to help build your immunity from all facets of being human.

Maybe, eliminate your cereal entirely and just opt for something more nutritious and simple, like spinach and eggs for breakfast, for example and replace that orange or fruit juice with plain water.

Having fun with a star jump!
Live each day like you are dying to live.
Vv.

Key Habit 7.5: I get adequate Quality Rest

True, again.

Notice I said “Rest” and not ‘sleep’. I have seen people who get loads of ‘sleep’, getting ten hours or more per day and wake up feeling more restless than they did before going to bed.

You need to focus on getting quality Rest. That could happen at any time of the day. A little nap during the day for less than 30 minutes would do wonders for your energy and focus levels at work. Note: latest neuroscience confirm that there an ‘urge to nap’ and it is programmed into our circadian rythyms. Taking a < 25 min power nap improves memory and learning, sparks creativity and regulates emotions. More than this results in sleep inertia (you feel overwheming tiredness).

Try it, if you can. The essence of this is to ‘clear your mind’ or ‘quiet your mind’. Such rest is priceless because you release hormones throughout the body and brain that help elevate your energy levels as well as your ability to focus on tasks at hand, for longer periods.

Try taking short periods of ‘rest’ for the body and mind. Almost like a short period of meditation. Find your quiet place and un-think to Rest. Take a page out the Fijian’s Life Book and apply the “Fiji Time” mentality to your life when appropriate, when you need to get away from it all. Learn why this race is consistently rated the Happiest People on the planet. It is not by chance, it is by choice. Their individual and collective choice as a race. They try to keep things simple. I know, because I was born and raised there.

Its not the quantity of rest, but the quality. Getting better at the latter will enhance your sense of being – your “vitality”, that essence of life – your life!

Little by little … every step in the right direction gets you to the destination.
Be like a postage stamp, stick to whatever you’re doing until you get to your destination.
Luck has nothing to do with it.
Hard YAKA and persistence gets you there!

Remember: the compound effect of the application of habits with the power of imagination and self-regulating behaviour is the REAL MEDICINE here. It is what I refer to as your HEALTH AND VITALITY INSURANCE. It is preventative insurance, that adds to a better quality life not only now, but more importantly, in old age.

A little persistence and consistency in the application of the 7.5 habits I have elaborated on may just help improve your overall immunity to the common cold and flu, like it has for me. The reason I have said ‘7.5’ habits is because this is obviously not a definitive list of reasons but it certainly is the Key 7 habits that you are in full control of. Habits that I consistently adopt on a daily basis.

Try them, see how you feel after seven days, after 4 weeks. Try 3 months and all of winter. Then, get in touch with me and tell me all about it.

The application of these key habits should help your overall sense of vitality and lower your risk of feeling like ‘crap’ or low in energy and vitality as frequently as you may have felt. It just might add years to your life – keeping your batteries re-charged.

Remember also that elephants don’t bite, mosquitoes do!

These habits are little things that could become a problem if you don’t take of it. So, take care of the these mozzies and other mosquitoes in your life, if and when you identify them.

As you know, Little Things Matter – simple actions, repeated over time, will determine the life you lead.

Someone once said that practise does not make perfect – perfect practise makes perfect. I agree.

So, become Aware. Apply Action. Adapt accordingly and repeat practice, with good execution …. Within reason. Keep things simple, don’t complicate things and know that everything will be ok in the end.

Best of health and vitality to you!

 

Yours in iron & muscles.

Until next time …

 

Here we are … my beautiful wife and I.
at a dinner party.

The Old Captain Viking Pirate Fiji Island Muscle Monk

On a beach in one of my favourite parts of the world.
Enjoying the sun again.

The Power of Habit.
The dedication to small, yet, important key habits on a daily basis helped me represent Australia at not one, but two consecutive World Natural Physique Championships, placing in the Top 5 in the World in both.
An island boy born and raised in the Fiji Islands went all the way to be one of the BEST in the world.
That is the power of the compound effect of little things done consistently over time.
Try the 7.5 key habits and see how well your immune system gets…. and then tell me all about it.

Standard
a better life, attitude, authenticness, Beliefs, better choices, change, courage, ego, Energy, examined life, game of life, gratitude, happiness, life, long-term perspective, love, perseverance, responsibility, self love, spiritual balance sheet, spirituality, success, time, truths, you, your life

Is the grass green on the other side?

Greener grass anyone?

Greener grass anyone?

Change your philosophy, change your life.
Vv.

Envy

How much do you earn?

Is it enough for you? Do you wonder if your friends, neighbours or family are earning more than you? Do you secretly covet what your neighbours’ drive; what house they live in? I wonder …. Is the grass greener on the óther side?”

How do they do it? What do they do to make so much money and wealth? How can you learn their secrets, you wonder. Should you change jobs or see if the grass is greener on the other side. What word could sum up this way of thinking, I wondered. I think a good word would be: Envy.

Some argue that envy is the root of all evil.

Some argue that envy is what spurs on economic growth. Well and good in a capitalist society. My question is how much growth is enough? I must admit that I, along with many others have been charmed by “overnight success Rags-to-riches stories” and the wealth of the very rich.  You’re bombarded with examples on social media, on-line and in magazines and papers.

The simple things in life are often the best

The outward display of success seem so appealing that it’s pretty easy to fall for those less-than-subtle advertising ploys touting fancy foreign engineering (like cars) or architectural wonders of some luxury house.

Gee, even in church we sometimes focus on the trappings – lavish sanctuary, fine pipe organs, plush carpeting and so forth.

It seems the advertising industry is the machine that uses this belief as its fuel: Envy. Most in the western world have been have been prisoners in the tyranny of consumer culture. Programmed with advertising, movies, video games, magazines, tv and MTV from the cradle. They say by the time a child in our western world reaches the age of 21, he or she would have watched and/or listened to a million ads.

Now, that is a lot of noise and clutter for the brain, and you wonder why the fastest growing disease is mental disease.

It is certainly great for business, because more growth is better for everyone, for the sake of capitalism.

De-clutter your brain of all that noise built up from early childhood clouding your thoughts.
Delete and stop contributing to the bottom-line of ‘bullshit’
Work on managing your funnel better. Don’t be part of the horribly growing stat

 

Try Harder = more success?

The theory is that if people are unhappy which has resulted because people were envious or jealous, people generally tend to TRY HARDER. Does it work that way with you? Or do you pull others down rather than raise your standards and climb up to theirs? Do you just wrap yourself in self-righteous misery when you cannot complain anymore about the unfairness of life?

If you are a believer in Christ and very wealthy, remember not to leave God our of your life. It is said that – without understanding, you are like the beasts that perish. Your power, influence and wealth won’t carry weight now but will not matter one zilch, in eternity.

I know you know this already.

A neuron example & its network of dentrites

Nature of Wealth

Do you read the annual publications of Rich Lists? Where do you stand? What do your friends make? Do they make more than you? How does it make you feel? Does it make you happy or miserable? I dare say that it must make more people unhappy than happy. The thing is, it shouldn’t be. You see, there is a finite nature to wealth ….

Do you wonder those “what if “ scenarios like the price you may have got in on a certain share/stock or what if you had sold your car or business at a better price by waiting a little longer or if you had not left that job? I’m sure you have thought about certain things in your life this way too. We all have. Does this make your life better or worse?

In this life the wealthy often inspire awe, admiration and praise. Be happy for them, don’t envy. This adulation will be short-lived. The possessions that are the basis of their pride and self-aggrandizement will not serve past ‘six-feet under (the grave)”.

Allow your mind to ”connect’ with infinite intelligence.
With consciousness.
It is like nothing you’ve ever experienced before.

Contentment (genuine) brings you closer to the elusive Happiness

Maybe we should resolve not to begrudge others their success or good luck in life. Maybe we should resolve to be happy for them. To genuinely wish them well with it.

Maybe we should see that the grass is not always greener on the other side of the fence. No, not always. Maybe we should not yearn for the grass on the other side.

Maybe.

Maybe it would be easier to sail your ship through the sea of life by looking ‘straight ahead’ instead of looking over your shoulder at the other ships (other people).

Maybe, just maybe you will find contentment and move a little closer to everyone’s elusive ‘happiness’ goal, if you stopped coveting the wealth and treasures of the very wealthy. I believe – being content, genuinely content, is one of the surest ways of moving close to happiness. It is a process by which you also move to another consciousness level. Ask yourself how content (genuinely content) are you with everything in your life?

 

Be content with where you are and what you have achieved to get this far.
Appreciate what I refer to as your ‘reverse bucket list’ and have an attitude of gratitude.
This is a key ingredient to moving towards genuine happiness

Change your colour, change your life

I know one thing for sure: being less envious and accepting that ‘the grass is not always greener on the other side’ would make your life less depressing.

No, I am going to take it further and suggest that maybe, we should trying viewing the colour of grass not as green or greener but viewing it as another colour (another view/philosophy).

Change your colour (philosophy). Find the right colour. Change your life – for the better.

For me, the colour is a combination – black with a touch of red.

What’s your new colour?

Then ….

Ask God to teach you to help you find and guide you with your perspective on life … to learn to live always, not for this life only, but with “ëternity’s values in view.”

One way to know YOU is to understand God.
God is in you.
God is you.

I’ll hopefully, see and chat to you in heaven when our time in this third dimension is done and dusted!

Until next time.

Cheers and a big ahoy to you on your journey through the maize of life!

 

The old Cap’n Viking Pirate … & thoughts on envy, contentment and happiness in life.

Appreciate beauty. Find your truth. Create your beauty if you can. Usually, beauty and truth does not involve wealth, growth, mass and material possessions.
It is counter-intuitive, but to find your beauty, your truth … LESS IS MORE.

 

Eliminate and de-clutter the ‘noise’ that has been uploaded in to your brain since the cradle

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adaptation, awareness, Beliefs, dreams, Goals, Imagination, life, self-image, you

Don’t give something up – take something on!

About to start a workout in my Old School Gym. Old School training principles with a 'modern twist'. Know the basics. Stick to the basics. Apply the basics. Its the most efficient, effective and safe approach to building a muscular physique in the gym. Paul.

About to start a workout in my Old School Gym. Old School training principles with a ‘modern twist’. Know the basics. Stick to the basics. Apply the basics. Its the most efficient, effective and safe approach to building a muscular physique in the gym. Paul.

Belief
An old mentor once told me –

As one thinketh in his heart 💓, so is he”

You could use that as a possible definition of the word “belief “. What is your definition?

What do you believe in? Do you have a belief? What philosophy is it based on? What is the foundation of this philosophy? Is it the truth? What truth is this? Who’s truth is this? Do you question those so-called truths?

The most important truth is, do you know YOU? What do YOU stand for? Do you love YOU? Do you, really?

I was raised a catholic and still am. My wife adopted this faith as well as my children. It is our choice. What is your choice? Your choice in religion? Or are you ‘spiritual’, not religious? Maybe you’re an atheist. Maybe an agnostic. It is your choice. Choices have to be respected. No one is better, we are just different. 

Me & a member of my Family Gym. He strives to be his best every day and seeks to help those who need his help, to help them, help themselves.


Lent

I have come to question a lot of things about my chosen faith and about me, just like, I assume, you would have also about yourself. You see, I have always told people who don’t know the sport of bodybuilding very well, that preparing for a contest to ultimately, win or get a podium finish is like an extended period of Lent. Yep, Lent!

To achieve the goal of presenting your very best and improving your chances of winning, I have to go through an extended period of Lent, or in other words, an extended period of self-deprivation.

However, the difference with actual Lent, is that with Lent, you are told to ‘give up’ something you love – it could be chocolate, alcohol, smoking or anything else that makes you ‘feel good’ and somewhat makes you also ‘feel guilty’. As a kid, I remember choosing to give up chocolate during Lent and that was difficult because I loved chocolate.

I still do. One of my many weaknesses.

To pursue your SHIT and never achieving it is far better than never having a go at your SHIT and living with regret forever.

bodybuilding, periods of “self-imposed purity bubble of deprivation”

In the preparation of yourself for a body-building contest, you have to take this philosophy and multiply it and take it to another level. A level that very few are willing to take. You don’t just ‘give up’ one pleasure, you have to ‘give up’ many. And not just for a month (approximately the period of Lent), you have to ‘give up’ almost all the pleasures of life, all the things that make you ‘happy’, for anything up to 20 weeks, give or take. That is 5 months of your life. Five months of self-imposed self-deprivation. Five months of saying ‘no’ to things that make life a little bit more pleasurable, a little bit more happy.

You live in a self-imposed ‘purity bubble’ in a world that is in a continuous state of decadence. That is what you have to do, to achieve a ‘look’ that the judges and fans are looking for when you’re on that stage. That body-building stage. That is why I believe body-building is the toughest sport in the world (others would argue otherwise but I understand differences in perception).

That is what you have to do to get the results. To win. This is what you have to do in this sport, just like a swimmer needs to swim daily for his sport, just like a soccer player has to kick a soccer ball around.

To win!

I dared to be different. I dared to not only dream but … to Dream BIG. I wanted to be one of the best at something I loved to do… not just in my state, my country.. but in the world 🌎. I couldn’t stand being “the same”. I just wanted to strive for an ideal… another vision of what I would like to be . And I did get there … 2 x World Championships- took me 10 years but I got there

Taught to Fear Failure

Got me thinking about Lent and our society’s insatiable desire to win, sometimes to win at all costs. You see it everywhere. On tv reality shows, In relationships. In business, In sporting events, in schools and even in families. To ‘get ahead ‘ in life, we’re taught to fear losing.

Fear failure.

Growing up, I would hear my grandparents and aunties and uncles reminding us kids the point of Lent was self-denial. That by depriving ourselves of something we love, of something that brought us pleasure was a good thing. That it proved that you were strong. What a load of you know what!

Here’s where I am at odds with this way of thinking now. Here’s where I am at odds with my chosen religion. It is the propagation of the whole set of attitudes that implies that being pleased with yourself is somehow wrong. Suspect. That not being the same as everyone else is crazy. That being different is dangerous.

That high standards means lots of losers and that suppressing or ‘putting people down’ is the best way to make them grow, The best way to make them spring up.

The bible says that we need to love thy neighbours as thyself. Lovely philosophy but flawed! Back to my earlier question: do you really love YOU? I think there are more people than not that do not really love themselves.

Think about it.

The Brain 🧠. The Real Power rests within this living organism… between the billions of neuronal network… Great thinkers know that thoughts 💭 change the world. Guard and work on your thoughts … every single day. Your most important investment.
The mind.
I AM.
Use this most complex tool every created to become a better medium of communication to …. the universe, to infinite intelligence … to consciousness.
To your GOD.

Taught to feel like losers

Too much of our society and its teachings are designed to make most of us feel like LOSERS MOST OF THE TIME.

Gee, they have even got one of the most popular reality tv programs, with that very word in it. To make us feel like LOSERS MOST OF THE TIME. Like I said, its everywhere – in the media, on tv programs, in gaming shows, in our examination system, in our organizations. Its everywhere.

So, I now question that very belief of ‘loving thy neighbour as you love yourself’ and the philosophy it stands on. If machinery of today’s society, is designed to make most of us FEEL LIKE LOSERS MOST OF THE TIME, then, if we really did love our neighbours as ourselves, most of our neighbours would get the short end of the stick. They would get a raw deal. They would lose out.

My biggest competitor is ME

The up-coming Winter Olympics is a celebration of elite talent and what I am talking about will be on show there. The podium finishers: first, second and third are celebrated. Whole countries are judged on their medal tally and haul.

What will be on show during these games, is it is as if we were governed by the philosophy that only the top three count and the rest are ALSO-RANS. This philosophy is flawed! I’ll tell you why.

When I started my body-building competitive career (over 20 years ago), I always felt my biggest competitor was ME. That no matter who I came up against in contests and no matter what result I got, I would not lose sight of the fact that I am competing against ME. I was setting my own standards for ME. My goal was to set my own targets. My goal was to be better than I was yesterday and the week before that and the month before that and the year before that.

Even though winning or being in the top three was a goal of mine, it never defined who I was as my performance was not tied to the result, but it was tied to the effort I had put in to it. I dreamed of being a better ME. I dreamed of bettering myself at each contest, compared to prior contests. To prior years. Not to others That’s comparing apples with apples.

Amongst other things … I am a “Physique Artist”
Building the best physique you hope to does not rely on chance.
It comes down to many variables summed up here –
Imagination + Visualisation + Effort (hard deliberate practice) + Feel (Heart) + Talent (genetics) + Focus (never-say-die Mind-set) …
To create Balance & Symmetry in design.
It does not matter which art medium is used – building architecture, watches, cars etc ..
Beauty = Balance & Symmetry
The only difference between sculpturing your physique and the other types mentioned above is –
the human body is alive and has a mind.
Continue to work on yours.

Biggest obstacle: don’t be different, it’s too dangerous 

However, most of what we’re taught in life is to win and sometimes to win at all costs. With that comes the dreadful mind-set of the fear of failure (refer to my earlier blog on this topic and how everyone should love the ‘f’ word more). This is a direct consequence of the idea that winning is very important, even though it is so difficult.

So, fear of failing becomes more paramount. A disease of the mind. The best strategy in this case would be to avoid losing. To avoid failing. So, everyone effectively accept the ‘status quo’.

Everyone be the same. Don’t be different. Its too dangerous.

I. AM.
GOD?

If you fail, you escape responsibility 

So, if the best strategy is to avoid losing, its best to lower your sights, lower your standards, lower your goals, dream small – not big. Keep your head down, don’t try to stand out but above all, don’t try too hard. Nope! Don’t try too hard. That way, if you fail, god forbid, you can always blame your laziness, not your lack of ability. You can continue to fear failure and stay the same. That is what society wants. For everyone to stay the same.

If you fail, you escape responsibility for your actions and explain your failure by claiming that the particular challenge/contest/business venture/ relationship you were in did not justify the energy needed to sustain it.

What a load of rubbish!

I think it was the recently deceased Nelson Mandela that said that ‘being small, serves no one’. I agree. However, much of what society and religion has been founded on is the philosophy of being humble or in other words – being and thinking/dreaming SMALL.

Thinking too big, dreaming big, is not encouraged and dangerous as it leads to being ‘different’. Being different can be very costly to you, the individual, and the society, as we are taught to believe.

What Mr Mandela was trying to say, I believe is that being ‘small’ or being ‘humble’ for the sake of being humble serves no one: it does not serve the person giving it nor the person receiving it. It does not serve humanity.

What Mr Mandela was saying was probably that if humility is the mode, then apathy is the mood. Inaction and indecisiveness is exactly what society wants. Inaction or apathy is the fuel of all fears. And we wonder why the fear of the ‘f’ word – failure, is so rampant in our society. Its because, the firewood that strokes these flames is everywhere, in the very fiber of society and religion.

Know YOU.
It’s ok to Love 💓 YOU… it’s ok to be YOU…it’s ok to be different

It’s ok to be different 

Its sad, but true, it seems that most people need to be stroked like a pet cat. Frozen with fear, people need to be stroked emotionally and psychologically in a positive manner, by someone for something, almost every day. If they are not stroked, they are a heap of mess. If that is for one person, then it must be for many more.

it seems, Energies are low. Belief in self is low. Depression and diseases of the mind are rising exponentially around the developed world. The obesity epidemic that has been gripping the world in recent times is only a symptom of a bigger problem caused by the machinery of society and religion. The obesity epidemic is a symptom of the ‘obesity of the minds’ of people ( I will talk more on a later blog).

Its okay to be different.

Yes, being different does come at a cost. But it is ok. Be brave. Know yourself more. Love yourself more. It is okay to love yourself more. We are each meant to be different and to celebrate and appreciate each other’s differences. That is what makes the world go round, right?

Become a somebody 

You have been blessed with a bunch of talents or gifts and you have a responsibility to use and improve your bit of YOU. Your bit of creation. In turn, if possible, you should also help improve the talents and gifts of others. To not allow yourself to dream big, to not allow yourself to imagine a better, more improved you. To ignore these god-gifted talents yourselves and take it to new heights, new standards is to deny yourself and others a most beautiful thing.

It gives humanity the short end of the stick, the raw deal. This is the ultimate disrespect to your creator, whoever, whatever religion that you follow.

So, get up and love yourself!

Why not love yourself a little today and then love others. Make a commitment to love yourself, even more, tomorrow and continue for as long as you live. Love YOU. This is not soft. This is not wrong or bad.  Now, your neighbours will not get a raw deal, when you adopt that saying “love your neighbours as yourself”.

They will get the BEST OF YOU.

That is what I have taught my daughter to say as her prayer every night: “God, help me be the best I can be, for ME and for everyone else.” Notice, it is for her first and foremost, not for mum or dad. And so, if she hypothetically came last or out of the top 3 in a contest, but if she tells me she gave it her best, then, in my eyes, she won.

In my eyes, her effort and her participation tells me she won. And that is exactly what she will believe in. That will hopefully, instill a belief that will lower the risk of her fear of failure and allow her to just ‘have a go’.

Participate. Just do it!

It is okay to be an ‘ALSO-RAN’ and also feel like you’re a winner. You’re a winner because you didn’t believe in apathy or inaction. You’re a winner because you tried. You gave it your best. You gave it a go. You’re a winner because you came in fourth, exhausted and encouraged – because last time you came in fifth.

You’re a winner because winning is also – giving yourself to others freely; winning is also never whining; it is also picking up a beer can you didn’t throw on the beach; it is becoming that dream of yourself that would fulfill you as a person with high self-esteem; it is being glad you are you,; it is unconditional love; it is a way of thinking – a way of living; it is a habit (so is losing – be careful).

Winning is all in the attitude, an attitude of the mind. Your attitude toward your potential is either the key to or the lock on your door of personal fulfilment. Action squashes all fear.

Now, consider an alternative definition of Lent: don’t give something up, take something on. Dream big. Dare to be different. Don’t fear failure. Set higher standards for yourself.

Love yourself. Love yourself more. Love others. Give more of YOU to the world. Exercise your attitude of mind.

Become a somebody!

All the best in your journey in the sea of life.

Until next time,

My gritty Viking Pirate 🏴‍☠️ Princess 👸

 

Building muscle, one rep at a time with relevant tools like a dumbell. In my Old School, no frills gym. Just the way I like it.

Building muscle, one rep at a time with relevant tools like a dumbell. In my Old School, no frills gym. Just the way I like it.

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