Category Archives: hope

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Live. Die. With dignity.

 


Most of us would agree that food, shelter and water are the most basic of our needs. Beyond this, most of us would disagree as to which needs are more important – it depends on the person and the circumstance I guess.

I think you can adhere to a simple, yet, powerful advice from the wise Marcus Aurelius –

“if it is not right, don’t do it: if it is not true, don’t say it”

Maslow’s hierarchy pyramid puts these most basic of human needs in a category called “physiological needs” along with sex. There are 5 levels and we progress to the next level only when the lower levels are satisfied.

There are safety needs and then belonging/love needs (which includes family, friends and sexual intimacy). From there we strive to satisfy our ‘esteem’ needs and beyond that we reach ‘self-actualization’ needs. Only 1 in 100 people actually reach this level according to Maslow.

I wrote about the most fundamental of human existence in a previous blog and that is – ‘freedom’. A big word this is and can be defined in many different ways.

Every one of us live in fear in one form or another, every day as we go about our lives. Fear comes in many forms and when it exists, freedom is sacrificed. I would go on to say that there are many societies in the world today whose people actually accept and are content to live under fear.

Good people cannot stand by and let injustice happen … which removes the key element of Freedom – dignity.

It is amazing that in today’s world where technology is changing at an exponential rate, some of the most basic of human needs like freedom are not or have not changed for the better in centuries.

One such human need that is taken away when freedom is removed is ‘dignity’. This is usually the result of control through fear.

To be a complete human, however, I believe each and every one of us need to be allowed to live our lives with dignity. When people live in fear or when freedom is taken away, their ‘human-ness’ is taken away and this is experienced at different levels.

The very essence of feeling human is lost. One loses his/her dignity where the very foundation of what it means to be ‘human’ is swept away from under you. You lose control over your existence and destiny.

This is one of the worst feelings one could ever have to endure while being alive. This, I believe, is worse than going without food or water. Dignity is a far more important need.

Being deprived of dignity for a prolonged period increases the risk of losing hope. And when you lose hope, you lose the desire to live. Not a good place to be.

If you went without food and water for long enough, you will die. If your freedom was taken away from you long enough, you will either die or become rebellious. The significant difference between these deaths is that if you die without food and water, you can still die with dignity.

We all need to live and die with dignity.

True. Allow citizens to live & die with dignity.

It is a need. A most basic, most fundamental need.

So, stop for a few seconds and say a prayer for all those people in societies (including ours) all around the world who live in fear and who are deprived of the need to live their daily lives with dignity.

Pray that they may find the courage and fortitude to continue seeking this very essence of self-actualization that Maslow refers to. Pray that they be given the very thing that makes them fully human. Pray that they get their dignity back.

If they aren’t given their dignity back, pray that they take it back. Let us all pray that each and every one of them garner enough voice to say ‘no’ to the injustice they experience. The word ‘no’ is perhaps the greatest expression of human dignity possible.

Say ‘no’ to any form of control through fear!

Let us pray that they gather enough wisdom to know that you cannot find without seeking. You cannot hear without listening and not having the luxury of saying no and enough is enough is to make worthless any acts of seeking or hearing or doing.

Effort alone is not enough.

You must believe and hope that freedom from all forms of fear is possible and deserving of you.

Choose to say ‘no’ to anyone or anything that forces you to be someone you’re not. Keep your dignity. Don’t sell your soul.

Be yourself – always.

Live. Die. With dignity.

 

Until next time,

Wonderful insight in to the mind of a Great Leader.
Be courageous. Everything stems from courage. Never let anyone or anything tear your dignity from you.

Patience & love is vital to each individual, each community, each nation and the world 🌎.

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Choosing a gym.

True.

Your philosophy matters

A common fear among people who have never been to a gym and even current gym enthusiasts is feeling a little intimidated when they are there. The atmosphere of some gyms can be quite intimidating indeed for some.

I know I felt that same feeling many, many years ago when I first summoned the courage to enter a gym. After a few tries, you will get over this initial feeling of discomfort – something all trainees will have to deal with at some time.

Now, I could go through a top 10 things to consider when assessing which gym deserves your patronage such as – cleanliness, Equipment conditions, equipment in general, personal training services, locker availability and cost etc but I won’t.

Why? Well, you could easily do this yourself on the internet these days and maybe even get on a web-site that compares gyms and ranks them based on your buying criteria. A common method of deciding on a choice if you are that inclined.

However I believe that sometimes, in life it is more fruitful if you make your decision that is the best for you not based on your ‘need’.

No, sometimes in life, you need to base your decision on what resonates with your philosophy in life. If you don’t, then you may well find yourself (like hundreds of thousands of gym goers world-wide) jumping from gym to gym, searching. Searching for the gym that best suits their needs.

Your philosophy matters.

With Margaret and her guide dog. She was such a lovely human being. Never said never.
I trained her daughter (who was also partially blind) to represent Australia at the Paralympics.
She was one tough school girl with a lot of GRIT. Just like her mum.
Choose a gym that resonates and agrees with your philosophy of life.

Choosing a gym is an ínternal’ exercise, not an éxternal’ one

It is highly likely that you will not find your answer to your dissatisfaction by constantly switching gyms (for whatever reasons you generate). Instead you will likely grow tired and you will eventually feel de-motivated, like millions of trainees worldwide do. When this sets in, you can kiss your work-outs goodbye!

Sad, I know … but true.

After being in and around gyms for almost thirty years now and owning my own family gym for about seven years, here’s what I believe you need to do:

  1. Determine your philosophy on life – ascertain what you value in life, what are you principles?
  2. Find a gym that is aligned to this.

I am almost 100% certain that you will be content. This is not an exercise in ‘external search’ for a gym but it is an exercise in ‘internal search’ for the Real YOU. What I am trying to say is that choosing a gym is an internal exercise, not an external one.

For some, this search for a different gym and never being satisfied may be a manifestation of a deep seated fear of rejection that may likely go back to their formative years where they may have been subjected to ‘conditional love’. This manifestation becomes an obsession with what other people think and fuels this search for that elusive gym that meets all their needs.

Me and my family of extended family of members.
I created an environment to replace something I was missing living in a busy, big city like Sydney: the intimacy and connectedness of a truly local and extended family feel that I grew up with in my youth in Fiji.
I missed my éxtended family’ and this served my needs and the members needs too

The perfect gym does not exist

You won’t find that, a gym that meets all your needs, that is. It is like searching for “Mr Right” … or “Mrs Perfect”. They don’t exist like the perfect gym that meets ALL your needs does not exist. Accept that the Perfect gym does not exist. What exists is a person or a gym that meets most of your key needs and resonate with your philosophy on life.

I must warn you though: it is not an easy exercise. It can be a little scary. Remember though that all negative habit patterns can be overcome by giving your mind new nutritional thoughts. The most powerful, most nutritional thought we can think is “I like myself”.

A simple, yet profound statement of belief and I liken it to an anti-biotic for the mind. Makes you feel better after repeating the statement for a period of time. Try it, see how you feel.

A hallmark of a mature human being like you is the acceptance of total responsibility for your life and all the decisions you have made to date. The acceptance of total responsibility is a line in the sand in your life that from that point, you have no more excuses.

Your feeling of personal freedom and total control of your life and happiness is a direct product of your acceptance of total responsibility. This includes your responsibility to investing time in your health and fitness.

So – Accept. Totally.

Then ….

Me my extended family members; a group of members of my family gym.
They all loved training and being part of the extended family that was my gym

Join the club that chooses you

Join the gym that is aligned with your values and principles. Join the club that chooses you.  I prefer good old-school gyms (very few around these days) where there are a good selection of free-weights (barbells and dumbells) and good benches, a power rack or cage (to let the animal inside of you out).

A gym that has outstanding free-weights equipment and the best ambience wins, hands-down all the time for me.

Personally, I prefer a gym that doesn’t treat you like a number. Where everyone knows your name and your know theirs. Where people talk to each other instead of just connecting with a machine. A gym where if you’re absent, people notice it. A gym like they used to be – a social club. Like the gym I owned and managed for about seven years of my life, a real ‘family gym’. I was so connected to each and every member that they would tell me of their travel plans and almost everything about themselves and their families and ups-and-downs in their lives.

My life was intricately connected to each person, so much so that if I noticed that they hadn’t come for a while, I would personally call them up ( I wouldn’t get my staff to call them). If I didn’t get them (and if they lived alone), I would drive over to their residence to see if they were ók’.

Believe me when I say that I had intervened in many people’s lives and brought them back to this reality. There were people that no one called up on, except for me. There were people that, if I hadn’t knocked on their door of their residence to see if they were ok, they wouldn’t be here today. That was one of my roles as a caring, trusting and compassionate gym owner.

Members of my éxtended family’ also connected over food (protein for the hard-working muscles) and beer (for the biceps peak)
We were a family in more ways then just one (training together)

What type of Gym Goer are YOU?

Join a ‘type’ of gym goer. What type are you?

Feel ‘connected’ with a real person instead of being connected through technology mediums. Talk to other patrons of the gym (the way my old school gym was, where everyone spoke to one another and knew each other’s names. Just a big extended family, like I lived in my early youth, growing up in the paradise islands of Fiji.

You’ll probably find that you would have more in common with more people there then you would be different.

We’re all social beings after all and your time in the gym satisfies one of the most basic of human needs in a very healthy way – our innate social need.

And become the … the … social animal that you know you are but instead of swapping alcoholic recipes, you’ll be sharing protein shake concoctions. Realising this and accepting it in your life can make you look on the bright side of life more readily. It could move you closer to the elusive ‘happiness’ state … something that the world can learn from the Happiest Citizens on this planet: Fiji.

Just so happens, I was born and lived my early youth in Fiji and understand why Fijians are the happiest people on this earth, a few of the many reasons why are touched on in my words above. Find your gym by allowing the ‘fijian’ in you to speak to you.

All the very best in your choice!

Until next time,

Cheers & Ahoy!

 

The old Captain Viking Pirate …. & choosing the right gym for YOU

Building your strength in the gym is only one definition of what it means to be ‘strong’

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12.5 of Life’s Living Tips to live by.

 

Checking for tracks on the ground for past visitors?

Love life and life will love you back.

That wide?

Life Tips – too many to count – that wide.

I am sure by this stage in your life you have come across many health tips and are practising some and have not even considered others for whatever reason.

There is certainly no magic formula to optimum health and fitness but you can make your life a little more liveable by doing a few things a little better.

To improve your overall personal immunity.

What you are today is to some extent the cumulative compound effect of the habits you have decided to make a part of your life. Wonderful, I hope.

I have listed some health and hygiene habits I practise daily and I would like to share them with you. These are only 12.5 tips. I have found these tips to be both true and effective in cultivating outstanding health and fitness habits.

Habits that have added to my life and I am certain will positively add to your life rather than subtract.

Have a read and see if you think it beneficial to your life. It has been to mine so far:

  1. Drink water first thing upon waking with a hint of citrus:
    1. Try drinking a glass of water (250 ml) upon waking in the morning. If you can, try squeezing in some lemon and a drop of honey.
    2. Drink 1 litre of water per 25 kg of bodyweight. So, a 75 kg person should be drinking a minimum of 3 L of water daily.
  1. Brush your teeth after every meal:
    1. If you can, brush once after every meal and once before going to sleep at night. I eat at least 6 times per day and I brush at least 4 times per day.
  1. Eat a balanced diet:
    1. Concentrate on a diet of good wholesome food.
    2. Try to do without white-based flour products and sugar.
  1. Chew well:
    1. Digestion starts in your mouth as you’re well aware.
    2. Make it a little easy on your stomach muscles and digestive juices by chewing your food well. Take your time and enjoy the essence of each food you consume.
    3. Try not to talk too much while you’re eating and focus on your food more. You should remember that it is not only important to consider quantity and quality of source of your food. You should also ask yourself how well your body is absorbing and assimilating all the food you’re eating.
    4. Liken your digestive system to that of a factory. Have you asked yourself how much ‘wastage’ your digestive factory is incurring? How much of the input (food) you’re taking in is actually being used for and by your body? How efficient and effective is your digestive system? Well, you can reduce your ‘wastage’ significantly by simply chewing well or better than you are currently doing.
  1. Apply good moisturiser to your skin after you shower at night:
    1. Aim to use a moisturiser that has Vitamin E and soborlene for improve health and elasticity of your skin.
    2. Stay away from other combinations.
  1. Get enough fresh air and direct sunlight every day:
    1. The health and vitality of you and your body (and mind) needs the sun’s rays. Even if you’re very, very busy at work try and take at least 20 minutes out to get some fresh air and sunlight.
    2. Be sure to use a good sunblock too (if you’re fair skinned).
    3. For people living in countries with very little sun, it is vital for your vitamin D production, the presence of which is necessary for your immunity against common ailments in addition to other benefits.
  1. Do your plumbing (#2s) in the morning:
    1. Try and get in to the habit of ‘sitting on your throne” and excreting your waste in the morning before work or your work out.
    2. My children and I refer to this activity as the ‘boom-boom’! Call it what you will, train your body to do its plumbing first thing in the morning.
  1. Keep your mind calm and have a positive attitude:
    1. At all times, everyday.
    2. Strive to never lose control in all areas of your life.
  1. Make your exercise sessions a pleasure not a burden:
    1. Use the hour in the gym as your ‘meditation hour’
    2. Your time to work on your internal muscle and external muscles
  1. Train at least three times per week:
    1. Weight training in the gym is a must. The benefits to you is a no-brainer!
    2. Follow your weights session with 20 to 30 minutes cardio of ‘power-walking’ ( I will elaborate in a future blog about how I do this and why I think this is one of the best forms of cardio you can do now and in to your old age) on a treadmill or outside.  
  1. Get adequate rest daily:
    1. Make sure you get sufficient sleep every day

12.5 Keep good posture:

  1. At all times – when seated and standing.

There are many more of “Life’s lessons” to live by hence the “12.5” (not exhaustive in any way) tips but these are some simple ones that come to my mind as I write this and could add a little more life in to your years. It could add more vitality to you. Take it as a reminder, a catalyst or whichever way you want.

One of my goals is just to make you more ‘aware’. The rest (action and adaptation) is up to you.

More vitality … better energy … better opportunities …. Better life to you.

 

Until next time,

Photo op with a local resident and her dog. Lovely.

Photo op with a local resident and her dog. Lovely.

An old school pose.

An old school pose.

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Don’t wait for Perfect.

Relaxed with dumbells. Relaxed with dumbells.

Case-by-case basis.

One of the things that I have learned in my life so far is that life is not perfect.

I learned long ago not to expect it to be. The thing is, Life was never meant to be perfect and it (Life) never will be. This is just one sub-set of the significant area of Awareness.

You can address this imperfection in life in many ways and determine the response on a ‘case-by-case’ basis. A sound strategy, theoretically anyway.

Feel the hurt, the disappointment.

One way I have adapted to this truth that ‘life is not perfect’ is just trying to be the best I can be. I learned this a long, long time ago from one the best teachers I have ever had in my life, about life – my grandfather.

He was a man of few words but he was wise. A few times I returned from school with less than expected results and I felt disappointed, he would always say to ‘feel’ the hurt, the disappointment.

My grandfather would sit down with me and say “be the best you can be, boy! Be the best you can be. That’s all you have to do.” The operative word is ‘trying’ as sometimes one’s patience can be tested. I strongly believe that you just have to make the very best of it – Life that is.

Learn from your errors and try not to repeat it. Every error, every mistake is just a reminder that you’re human and that you are far from perfect. In all situations. Try to be proactive. Choosing to respond rather than to react.

Have an open mind and an open heart.

To fully immerse yourself in life, I think you have to have an open mind and an open heart. Having a closed mind and heart can be very limiting to you. With this open mind and open heart, you can fully embrace whatever life offers you – good and bad, scary and friendly.

Life could offer you either the ugly or the beautiful. Most of the time you don’t know what to expect. Reminds me of that line Tom Hanks said in the “Forest Gump” movie:

“Life is like a box of chocolate. You never know what you’re gonna get.”

And do you know why? 

Simply because life is not perfect. Don’t make it out to be.

I say, reach out and absorb everything life hands out to you – the good and the bad; the scary and the friendly and the ugly and the beautiful. Absorb everything. Respond sufficiently and appropriately. Adapt accordingly.

Then say thank you to your God.

Be present, everywhere.

You may ask why? Well, for one thing – you’re alive! Wherever you are (as you read this) – be here, be there.

Be present, everywhere. You have 86,400 seconds a day. My challenge to you is to live, really live those 86,400 seconds. Everyday. Hint: be present….. Except for those 28,800 seconds you’re asleep.

Life doesn’t get any better than this – in the “NOW”, that is …. For now, anyway.

Because the one thing we all have in us is our innate ability to HOPE, but not just hope, we need ACTIVE Hope. Active Hope is believing “it will be” and having the courage to take sufficient and appropriate actions towards making it a reality. “It” being whatever it is you desire so deeply.

Never stop believing. Never. 

And don’t wait for Perfect …. To happen before taking action. Before making a decision/taking the opportunity/making a choice. And we all know what happens when we choose, don’t we?

We are responsible.

All the very best in your decisions and continue to be more inquisitive about life.

Until next time,

VVc_logo_cropped

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Sometimes, local is BEST.

 

You learn from children and then learn from us.
It is a two-way learning experience, not one way (parents to children like some people think)

My children love going on holidays. They love being on holidays during school holidays.

They have just experienced Christmas and New Year’s celebrations and are still on holidays.

My wife and I decided a while back that we will try and experience more of Sydney, more of NSW, more of Australia before we embark on our discovery of all the other ‘foreign places to visit before you die’.

We just love ‘holidaying local’.

I recently asked my wife her view of the benefits of holidaying local and we agreed on quite a few points and the top 3 were:

  1. We experience less stress
  2. We would like to be made more aware and make our children more aware of the beauty and variety of local destinations and the excellent service they keep.
  3. We get to enjoy all the comforts that we would like to enjoy at a fraction of the cost

Don’t get me wrong, overseas travel is wonderful too. The lure of a different culture and people and food. All fantastic. However, there is so much of Australia I have not seen and have not experienced yet and one of my ambitions is to learn more of the country and its people that I have adopted.

So much to absorb. So little time.

The thing about overseas holidays that really get to me is that even up to the point of getting through the gates and on to the plane, we all seem to be rushing around. Trying to be busy. Sometimes it certainly seems that you have to speed up to slow down, which is, funnily enough the ultimate goal of being on a holiday.

We’re looking to ‘soft our minds’.

When you’re holidaying local, you don’t seem to have that problem. You firstly just tell everyone you know that you’re on holidays and treat it strictly like that or don’t tell anyone at all. You don’t take calls and you don’t return calls. You pretend that you’re holidaying overseas. Difficult to do? No, it isn’t. I simply do this by doing exactly what my two children do when they play ‘pretend games’ of princes and princesses and so forth. They don’t come out of their character roles when they play it and so my wife and I try not to either.

We ‘pretend’ we’re on holidays overseas and enjoy all the trappings but with less cost.

Holidaying local allows us to do more of what we love to do when we are on holiday and that is to ‘be on holiday’. Not spending your time travelling and in transit and increasing your stress levels for no real benefit. Nope, I like ‘softening my mind’ when I am holidaying and unlike overseas planned holidays, I like a little bit more certainty.

Like ordering at McDonalds (once in a while for most of us I hope), the certainty of knowing what I am going to get is reassuring to me. I don’t particularly like surprises. I don’t think most people do either.

I try to, however, not to over exaggerate holidays and all the great time my family experiences together during them. Instead, I remind my children that holidaying is something that we do some of the time. When you look at it as a percentage of our total time spent throughout the year, it is very small. So, when we look at it in this frame, we know exactly where to emphasise our existence – and that is in the beauty and chaos of our simple, daily lives.

I’ve always believed that one aspect of a fruitful life is to see opportunities to make the ordinary – extraordinary. Not overseas. Not in your dreams. No, simply in your everyday life. Try to make the everyday a ‘wow’ experience – for you and your loved ones.

You don’t have to look very far. Just look local. Discover more of the beauty and variety of excellent services that are on offer in your local city or neighbouring city. I’m sure you will find something new if you took the effort to look.

That is the thing though – this approach will take some effort, effort on your part to make the ordinary – extraordinary.

Whenever my family eats, one of us says our prayers not only to bless the food but to also to give thanks for all my family’s blessings. ON top of this we ask for God’s guidance and strength to help and guide our family and friends here and abroad. I try to instil in my children, an attitude of gratitude – daily at a young age.

Giving thanks to God, multiple times daily, reminds us to be in the present but more importantly reminds us not to take anything for granted. It reminds us of how lucky we are. It forces my kids to be in the ‘present’.

I also strongly believe that giving gratitude regularly to your GOD and saying THANK YOU for your blessings is like a bridge from where you are now to the life of your dreams.

My children are getting better at praying now. I tell them to think and deliberately ‘feel’ the words of gratitude that we say in our prayers as saying THANK YOU is a ‘feeling’.

Sometimes, just sometimes, it can be better to stay home and enjoy the family home and environment that you inhabit, something that some of us who live very busy lives don’t really get to do. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is to take some time out to ‘soft the mind’.

This is one of the keys to finding your own definition of success in your life as I believe the better you get at ‘softening the mind’ the better you attract success in to your life.

Remember: your mind is the most powerful success tool you have. Give it rest to get it to perform at its best.

 

All the very best to you and your family,

Until next time,

Keeping it simple is key

I AM.
Me .. & my constant companion – Mr Fuzzy/Fussy Cuddles

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In THAT better place.

Relaxed me

I lost my biological mother just over four years ago.

I buried her.

It would have been her birthday only two days ago if she was still alive. Made me want to share a little part of that chapter in my life in this blog with you.

Cancer came and took her within four months. It was very aggressive. There wasn’t much more the doctors could have done given the circumstances.

I’m sure if you have lost a loved one, there are times when you miss them and this is one such moment for me. We had an interesting relationship her and I, one much more akin to a brother-sister relationship.

I had never called her ‘mum’ all my life. I called her by her first name. A beautiful name it was – Margaret.

Like most if not all cancer sufferers, she suffered a great deal in the months leading up to her death and all I wanted God to do was to end the suffering she was going through. I spent a bit of time beside her in her last days and asked her quite a few questions about her, about life and about the life she was heading to – in THAT better place.

I asked her if she was afraid of dying and she said ‘no’. She fell back on her spiritual philosophy and believed that all ‘was meant to be’. She was prepared for this life after death where she will be in THAT better place, perhaps with Jesus by her side.

If you’ve ever lost a close loved one, it is a difficult time. It was difficult time for me to say the least but nothing compared to the difficulty she was facing. Her life was coming to an end sooner than she anticipated.

She had a lot of support from extended family who could be with her and the religious denomination she belonged to. They were lovely. God bless them.

You’re never prepared to bury anyone. Anyone, let alone your mother.

The one thing that comforted me was the belief – no, the hope – bright hope for tomorrow – her tomorrow, for her future when she will be sitting beside Jesus in THAT better place. I had the belief that his death and his blood on the cross gave me – gave all of us hope that all things are made new and death is no more, nor grief nor crying. No more suffering and pain.

In my mind, she may have lived a relatively short life on this earth but in my life, she made that one unselfish decision all those years ago to give birth to me. To give me life.

The same for you too – a priceless gift from your mum: life!

I was not at my mum’s side when she died. I was overseas. On the day she died, an aunty of mine who was by her side sent a message to my wife who contacted me to call my mother. She wanted to speak to me.

When my aunty put my mum on the phone, for what seemed like a long while all I could hear was her breathing. Very deep painful breathing. But she could not speak. She was in pain and I could feel her pain through the phone.

She didn’t say anything and yet I felt she said so much. This was the first time in my life that I listened to someone who didn’t say anything and yet seemed to fill my ears up with so much. I couldn’t hold back my tears, they just kept streaming out of my eyes. I was a mess. Fortunately, there was no one in the gym at that moment to witness me balling my eyes out.

There was something very different about this phone call, I could sense there was. I called her ‘mum’ for the first time and I thanked her for giving me life when she chose to have the baby – me, all those years ago. That unselfish decision was the catalyst to allowing me to live the life I live today and to help as many people as I can every day. To save lives.

She never met my son Zachary but I believe she is with him in spirit and she is still alive in them through the genes. She is my childrens’ guardian angel.

In that last phone call I called her ‘mum’ for the first time and told her that I loved her.

I said “mum, I love you. Don’t worry, I will see you again … one day I will join you …. In THAT better place … Just wait a little longer”.

She just wanted to hear my voice one last time and that was the last time I heard hers too.

I was told she died only a few minutes after she put the phone down.

Her spirit is at home with Jesus now.

So, I hope that in her life after death, there is a glorious, endless future for her of which her adventure has only just begun.

I’m sure her happiness and joy has wiped away any recollection of pain and suffering in her time on earth and death.

So, If your mum is still alive, cherish it.

Go right now and give her the biggest hug and kiss and tell her you love her. If she is overseas, make that call NOW – call her up and tell her how much she means to you and that you love her very, very much even if it is in another time zone and you’re waking her up.

Tell her it cannot wait for the morning.

As for me, well I speak to my mum in my daily prayers but I would just like to end this blog by saying …

“Mum, I love you.”

 

Until next time,

 

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An attitude of gratitude.

Some wise person once said:

“Its not your aptitude, but your attitude that determines your altitude in life.”

Pretty wise words, don’t you think? You probably don’t need to look very far – look at the immediate people in your circle of life to see examples of this aphorism.

Maybe even you.

Being grateful for all that we have is a way of thinking.

You probably have your own way of giving appreciation to whoever you speak to. Whichever way it is, the essence of it is communication and routine. Ideally, giving thanks should be done daily and not only when you’re in real trouble or at a special occasion, like a funeral for example.

It can be done at any time convenient for you.

Me – I try and say a prayer of thanks every time I eat a meal. That is a minimum of six times a day. You pray for the meal to be blessed, thank the good Lord (or whatever higher force you believe in) for your blessings and ask for continued blessings for you, your family and friends and the world at large.

My wife and I have always prayed together, before consuming our meals and we also try to say a prayer before sleeping at night. Our kids have come along and they also join us in prayer. They take turns in leading the prayers now that they are both older.

It’s a family habit. Part of our daily routines.

But I believe there is more to gratitude. It not only reminds us of not taking anything for granted. It humbles us. It puts a certain level of perspective on life.

It is essentially the choice of attitude of the person and their attitude to life. There is magic in being grateful. There is magic in having a thankful spirit.

This magic, I believe, is POWER.

Yes, power!

How is that, you may ask?

Well, I believe a thankful spirit has the power to overcome anger with love; it has the power to subordinate fear with courage; it replaces sadness with happiness and has the power to feel not jealousy but genuine joy at another’s success.

Having a thankful spirit and an attitude of gratitude has the power to inspire productivity and innovation over lack of creativity. Being grateful releases guilt with an heart of forgiveness.

An attitude of gratitude has the power to allow one to grow with an abundance of love
and self-sharing over greed and hatred.

It is a form of power, not as you know it but power none-the-less. An intangible one at times.

So, there you have it, some reasons why I believe that an attitude of gratitude is power.

Knowing that it is a form of power is not power. No, ‘knowing’ is potential power. Applying an attitude of gratitude on a daily basis, now that is power. The power rests in the choosing.

Check your attitude and work on your attitude of gratitude if you think you need to. You may just surprise yourself with how much more you get out of life, by giving more in to it, through choosing your best attitude, always.

Feel, really feel, that intangible power.

Start with a ‘reverse bucket list’ to put some structure to it. Some people do.

What is it? Well, a reverse bucket list is simply a list of things you have done, places you’ve visited and opportunities you have experienced in your life to date. How is this an exercise of gratitude you may be thinking?

You see, when you write it down and then look over what you have written, you can reminisce and be grateful for what you have achieved and done in your life so far. You may even shock and surprise yourself with what you have achieved.

Keep adding to that list as the seconds of life tick by …reminding yourself how lucky you are to be breathing and living life.

When I take my first breath upon waking every morning, I say a quick prayer of thanks to my God, thanking him for being alive. That is the best gift, I believe, anyone alive has been granted.

My whole focus from that moment on is to see how it is that I can be of service to and help people get what they want out of life to the best of my ability.

Also, remember, its not just about adding years to your life, its also important to add life in to those years.

Ask yourself how are you going to best achieve that?

Hint: reflect and give thanks.

Until next time,

Balance & symmetry brings you closer to harmony … to beauty …closer to infinity. Just like mathematics does

 

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The Sum of a Life.

Front double biceps - a week ago. Practice. "Practice does not make perfect. Perfect practice makes perfect."

Front double biceps – a week ago. Practice.
“Practice does not make perfect. Perfect practice makes perfect.”

The sum of a Life: the sum of your searches, your seeking.

The choice is yours. Yours alone.

1. Seek – you will find.
2. Seek Not– you won’t find.

To seek is part of being human, part of the human soul. Part of you. Part of me. Part of the human race. Life is a constant search.

To live is to seek.

A never-ending search for answers.

We are all searching. We are all seeking. From the moment we take our first breath in this world, being granted life, we have searched.

Every second, of every day.

Constantly. A never-ending appetite.

We need to know. Answers. To the all important question – “why?”.

Why? I don’t know. Not even certain if it will make us better as a human race if we got the answer to all questions.

We seek to understand. Understand the world around us. We seek to understand people. We seek to understand ourselves. We seek to understand the meaning of life.

Some people do more seeking than others. Some people don’t bother seeking much. Some people think seeking and searching is a waste of time. Fair enough. That is their prerogative.

Whichever choice you make, on whether to seek or not to seek, I believe that the sum of your life will come down to the extent you seek and search for answers.

Outside yourself. Within yourself.

The more you seek, the more you search, the greater the chance of you reaching your potential in your life. The greater the chance you live a life of significance.

The greater the chance that at the end of your life, you are proud and very content of the person you HAVE BECOME as opposed to what YOU’VE GOT in life. That you have searched to understand rather than searched to be understood.

Seek, my friend – seek. Just do it!

The more you seek – the more you find. It is as fundamental as that. If you don’t seek – the less you find.

Keep that hunger alive. That flame burning.

Like the very powerful passage in the bible states along the lines of … “Seek and ye shall find”.

Very true indeed. Believe it so. Have no doubt.

No belief. No nothing.

Keep searching for a better YOU. Don’t ask yourself “why” you should continue to search, to seek. Instead ask yourself “why not?”

You cannot afford not to.

Keep your dreams alive. Keep the faith.

Keep on keeping on your searching. Never, ever, ever …. give up!

 

Until next time,

With 8 x Mr Olympia - "The King", Ronnie Coleman.

With 8 x Mr Olympia – “The King”, Ronnie Coleman, earlier this year.

 

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Beliefs, dreams, faith, game of life, hope, Imagination, life, long-term perspective, needs, perspective, time, truths, you

Reach out for your potential.

 

Relaxed.

Relaxed.

Have you reached your potential – in your field of expertise?

Yes? Well, congratulations!

However, if you said “no” then you would probably make up the majority of people reading this blog and in the world (me included). That’s ok, too.

My question is: “Why Not?”.

What do you think are some of the factors that most often prevent the anyone from reaching his or her greatest potential – in whatever field? In my experience as a coach helping people of all ages and skill levels over the last two decades I’ve heard many barriers or excuses that people have told me regarding why they don’t or cannot make the time to go to the gym. Many, believe me.

What I have learned is that when you funnel out all the cr#p and lies people tell themselves, there appears to be two common barriers that often prevent most people from performing to their fullest. A barrier to ‘giving their all’. A barrier to ‘never giving up on themselves’. What do you think it is? Yep, some of you may have guessed it.

The first, as I see it, is a pattern of failures and past mistakes. When each of us look back honestly on our lives so far, we would all notice that we have made countless mistakes. Had a thousand failures. The second related barrier that appears to be holding people back is fear of failure. Yes, that other ‘F’ word: FAILURE.

Someone once said that “Failure is success deferred”. Very true. The key is patience. Most very successful people in all fields of life, most people that have reached the top of their professions or field of expertise, have all failed. Not once, but multiple times in the process of achieving success, of reaching out for their true potential. If you are going to fail, you might as well, fail big, someone once said. So, don’t be afraid to fail, if you’re going to do it in the pursuit of reaching success, then go ahead: Fail big.

Fail big – learn big!

If you’re a Christian, you, like me, may view these barriers through a different set of lenses or perspective. What I mean to say is that from a Christian perspective, the basic tenets of Christianity addresses these challenges most of us face throughout our lives and helps us remove these two major barriers.

As I recall from my early teachings in Catholic classes, being a Christian, we are taught that our past is forgiven; we are taught from a young age that we can start over with a ‘clean slate’. That making mistakes is a very natural part of life. And because of this, it gives Christians the resolve to trust that the mistakes of the past need not hold them back. It need not hold anyone back, even if you are not a Christian (and you are aware of possibilities). Everyone makes mistakes. Accept that. It reminds us that we are ‘human’ and ‘not perfect’.

So, it follows, according to the belief instilled in Christianity, we are taught and encouraged to never fear the “F” word – failure, that modern society looks upon as a taboo subject to talk about. That other “F’ word that everyone is afraid to open up and admit: Failure. As a Christian, because of our faith, we accept that we are not in total control of our lives, that ultimately, God (or whatever God you worship) is in control of your life.

Don’t mis-interpret me, please.

It does not mean that you start thinking that you will always get what you want or always win every competition you enter or always have things go your way or never get fired or never fail in an endeavour. No, it does not mean any of this at all. It does mean, however, that through your faith, and belief – that God can bring good out of every experience for those who trust in him.

The stronger your trust. The stronger your faith. The stronger your belief in God, you do not need to worry about failing. So, go ahead, people, pursue your dreams. Start the projects you’ve always intended to do but procrastinated because you were reminded of your past failures and you fear failing AGAIN.

If the burden, chains and memories of past mistakes or anxiety about failing in the future is removed, you would be FREE to FOCUS, wouldn’t you? To focus on doing your very BEST in the PRESENT. Makes sense doesn’t it? Yes, it does, if you are a Christian. Even if you are not and don’t belong to a religion, you could still see the gift that Christians have.

This is fundamentally how a real, personal Christian faith can liberate souls in need around the world. Around your world, maybe? It is the awareness of these basic Christian tenets and faith that can make it a little easier for anyone – yes, just like you, to reach out for his or her highest potential.

Having said that, I realize a lot of people think the idea of a ‘personal relationship’ with God (or a higher force – your God) sounds disturbingly exclusive, somehow presumptive, and more than a little pious. I do respect these peoples’ perspective. They just have not allowed themselves to be made aware of such consciousness. I thought the same thing when I was a young Catholic, questioning my belief, my faith … many, many years ago. But, life taught me otherwise.

According to the Bible, this idea of having a personal relationship with God isn’t at all presumptive. It was God’s idea in the first place. And it is not exclusive. It is available to anyone who accepts God’s offer. It is not too late for anyone to make that relationship and agreeing to the consideration on offer: your trust, your faith, your belief in him/her.

Then …. reach out (with both hands and with all your might) to your true potential through belief. In you. With God.

So, there you have it. Bring out all those little projects you have had in the ‘back burners’ and BEGIN IT. Maybe, that idea for a business that you were afraid to start. Or, it could be that change of career that you were afraid to make – to do what you love to do. There is power in beginning, starting NOW. Begin your walk to the gym. Begin your weight-loss program – AGAIN (even if you have failed many times before and tried everything but failed). Try again. Begin eating better again. Have faith in you, don’t give up on yourself. Especially now, with increased awareness of your faith, that you have God on your side.

Have that difficult discussion with yourself and with God to guide you on your journey to your goals … towards your imaginary self. But this time, with the belief that all your past mistakes, all your past failures is forgiven.

Create your new foundation for what you are building (on a clean slate) and begin putting the building blocks towards your highest potential.

Don’t look at life as a gamble. Instead look at life as a giant, very real game so become a better player of the ultimate game (with the belief that God is in your corner), like a great coach is in a Champion Boxer’s corner, in his ears, in the ring during battle. Have no doubt in you, no doubt in your God.

Remember: doubters don’t win or succeed. Winners don’t doubt, especially with your higher force on your side. Your God.

Reach out. Don’t delay. There is not time to lose.

Reach out for your potential. Today!

 

Until next time,

Paul V2 (1)

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Why Not?

Relaxed.

Relaxed.

I love my children.

I love spending as much time as I can with each of them – Olivia and Zachary. I am very fortunate that in this phase of my life I am able to do just that.

Give them my time – my life. Just like other dads do, too.

Olivia, Zachary and I love doing many activities together. Building things using leggos is one such activity.  My son teams up with me and we construct, bust down, re-build and re-construct the best castles we can dream up with the limited pieces of leggo pieces we have. Olivia is a champion builder now. Better than me already. They both are. She’s so good, that her constructions are very elaborate and above all – ‘stable’. That’s her thing – it has to be stable.

“Dad, she says, a castle is better to be stable than just pretty, aye dad?”

“Uhumm … yep, to some extent, that is true. You don’t want strong winds to blow it away now, do we? Like most important things in life, we need strong foundations. We all need to have our rocks in life.”

I try my best to encourage them to use their imagination and play ‘pretend’ games. Even though there is a limit to how many leggos they have, each time we build, they create something new. No creation is ever the same.

And when run out of leggo pieces, my daughter asks what else. I say lets pretend even more. Olivia gets so excited and so does Zachary. I start it off by saying ..

“Just pretend … that your castle has wings …. Large wings and it can fly …. Fly up in the sky and the wings are so large that the castle can take us all in it .. and …

My daughter interrupts me and then asks “But dad, castles can’t have wings, can they?”

I thought about what she said and I wanted to tell her the truth but I thought that a little un-truth, a little lie would be the best thing for her and her brother right now. I wanted them to continue their ‘make-belief’ world. Heck, if I had one wish I would want their ‘pretend world’ to not come to an end.

Let them run wild and far with their imagination. Keep dreaming. See what they come up with. Encourage them to ‘see’ what others cannot, what I can’t.

With no restraints. No rules. Their world where anything is possible. Where castles have wings … large wings. Enough to carry mum and dad and them away in to the skies. Forever.

I told her that her castle can have wings. Anything she wanted would be given to her. Any power she wanted. Anything she imagined, no matter how ridiculous it may be, would be granted. There were no rules. No one to tell her what could and could not be done. She was the boss. The creator.

Olivia stopped me again and said: “but dad, castles can’t have wings?”

I told her “why not, Olivia. Why can’t Castle’s have wings? I told her not to just ask “Why?” but also consider “Why not?” and then her story-telling of her make-belief world started flying. She imagined all sorts of things. All sorts of possibilities. I was in heaven just listening. Listening to their debates. Their possibilities.

Wow, I enjoy the storytelling my kids share with me!

She didn’t argue with my lie. Only I knew, that I lied. A lie that castles had wings.

But that lie was enough for her to continue her dreaming, her storytelling. Her ‘pretend-world’. I thought telling her a little lie was better than telling her the truth. She will eventually find out the truth but in her time. In her time.

They can find out other little small lies society tells them as they journey through their lives. But, in their time. Things like Santa Clause. Like the Tooth Fairy. Like the Easter Bunny.

These little lies (and there are many in life) are important to every child. Every person who was once a child. It encourages their imagination to run wild. It gets them to question possibilities. It gets them to not just ask “why?” but instead to also ask “why not?”.

Why not? Why not create a castle with wings? Why not travel to the moon? Why not be a better you? Why not make a more fuel-efficient car? Why not choose to eat a healthier meal option just because you respect and love yourself a little bit more today than you did yesterday? Why not go to sleep early tonight and say no to a ‘big night out”? Why not strive to be a better person from this hour forth? Why not make time to go to the gym at least twice a week? Why not take care of your beautiful self better?

Why not, not why?

Look back at your life. The way I see it, it seems that up until six years old, we get lots of encouragement. But by the time we reach our teens, we get discouragement from everyone and everything we experience in life. By the time most of us kids get to working life, young adults appear to have been drained of courage and have lost most of their enthusiasm – that sparkle that allows a person to choose to adopt positive thinking everyday.

Why?

I believe one of the reasons is that not enough of us humans are asking ourselves “why not?”. A lot of people have lost belief in striving for a better life. A better self. They have lost belief in themselves. Enthusiasm and courage has been sucked out of them.

Also, partly because they’ve stopped asking themselves “why not?”

Its not too late people. Its not too late to do something about it. Its not too late to try to lose ten or so kilos. Why not? Its never too late to start dreaming again. Its never too late to start believing in yourself again. Why not try harder? Why not keep going? I’ve seen it with the very old and the young alike. That is the only thing that gives you hope:

Believing in a dream … make it your dream … to believe in the question of telling you and asking yourself the question of “why not” …. Be your BEST you can be – for yourself and … while you’re on a roll, why not be the BEST YOU CAN BE for others too!”.

Don’t wait for the perfect moment when all is safe and assured. It may never arrive. Mountains will not be climbed. Walking on the moon may never have happened.  Don’t allow fear to make you quit. Never quit on life. You’ve got to win over yourself. Never settle for defeat. Never stop striving to being the best you can be, in every sense of the word.

Have you hitched your wagon to a star? Why not?

It seems that there is a philosophical movement that exists that associates drive and initiative solely with materialistic power and gain. There appears to be an ever-growing obsession focused on the accumulation of non-essential personal possessions.

This should not be confused, I think, with personal achievement and the pursuit of individual excellence. Disregarding all material gain, I believe there is a pure personal pleasure which comes from achieving the difficult or the unusual. Whatever it is that it is.

The magic rests in everyone of us. Yes, it rests in you too. The enduring power that has moved you and will move you, again, comes from inside. Yes, inside you.

Success is not just reserved for the talented. It is not in the high I.Q. Not in the gifted birth. Not in the best equipment and technology. Not even in ability.

Success in anything, I believe is hugely dependent upon drive, focus and persistence. The extra energy required to make an extra effort – to go the ‘extra mile’ –  to try another approach – to ask ‘why not” do something a little bit different, a little bit smarter – to concentrate on the desired outcome – is, I believe, the secret to achievement. To win, in your unique journey through life.

The magic is this: ATTITUDE.

A wise man once said: “Its your attitude, not your aptitude that determines your altitude in life”.

Apply. Adapt accordingly.

See how the next four decades pan out for you. Choose well.

And when you start dreaming again, you might as well dream BIG. It takes the same amount of focus!

As another wise person once said: “Make no little plans: they have no magic to stir your blood to action – instead make big plans, aim high in work and hope.”

Ask yourself – “Why not?”

 

Until next time,

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