action, adaptation, awareness, change, choices, dreams, Energy, game of life, Goals, Imagination, life, long-term perspective, mind, perspective, time

See what can be, not just what is.

We’ve all grown up hearing that lovely line from some aunty or uncle, trying to sound wise and encouraging, but all the time not knowing what it really means –

“where there’s a will, there’s a way!”

I have thought about this affirmation over the last 40 years and I have to say that I don’t fully agree. Here’s why –

The above affirmation is lovely, but it is somewhat delusional. Affirmations such as this are great and kind of motivating for some and that is wonderful.

However I think that one should not forget that affirmations without discipline and persistence is useless.

What I am trying to say is that affirmations without a strategy is rubbish and wish-full thinking. Now, this is very different to ‘positive thinking’.

Matter of fact, merely stating an affirmation without a strategy is the beginning of delusionary thinking. A total opposite of positive thinking. This is why I think that affirmations mentioned in the wrong context can be more than mis-leading, it can cloud peoples’ perceptions of the truth and they may become increasingly un-aware of themselves.

Not a helpful place to be in.

Sometimes, working harder DOES NOT LEAD TO BETTER RESULTS. Sometimes, every incremental work done after a certain point gives diminishing returns. You simply don’t get any better. You don’t improve your position. You basically stagnate and hit a plateau.

It can be likened to building muscle in the gym. After a period of quick growth early in their training career, most gym enthusiasts hit a ‘plateau’ and don’t seem to make any more progress despite training more, eating more and so forth. No matter what they do, there is no visible physical change to their physique. A good example where working harder does not lead to better results.

Very frustrating indeed!

“But, what do you do then?” you must be thinking.

Well, I believe that sometimes you need to just cut out all the detail and clutter. Sometimes, to go to the ‘next level’, you need to cut out all the ‘red tape’. Yes, cut out all the red tape, all the clutter of over-analysis in your head – your mind!

“And how do you propose I do that?” I hear you say.

Well, the simple way is best: DO NOT use any willpower!

Yep, use no willpower.

If you’re solution-oriented, you will find that your logical side of your brain will be conjuring up ways to solve the problem and impose a certain thinking on your inner-being. It is very easy to succumb to this, heck, you’ve been doing that for most of your life. Working harder, with tonnes of willpower but seeing no end in sight.

Working harder is not the answer.

Just like the person in the gym trying so hard to put on muscle and spur on growth but to no avail. On the surface, working harder seems like the less risky and smarter option to achieving a certain goal.

Not so. Imagination is key.

From my observations of and deductions made from the many individuals who have successfully completed any one of my programs, those that adopted the use of their imagination more, tended to achieve the results they desired.

I encouraged them to visualize the end result very vividly and to also imagine the emotional gratification (how they would feel) of the freedom state of being they had wanted. Sometimes, it is very important to resist the urge to thinking logically.

Sometimes, what is needed to get the job done is not more willpower or more effort. No, sometimes, what is needed is more profound than that: SIMPLICITY. Simplicity through IMAGINATION. If there is one thing you would want to work hard at when you hit a road-block or plateau, I suggest you work harder on your imagination.

Stop. Take stock. Rest.

Imagine more by dreaming more. Become a kid again. But when you dream, dream big. There is magic in thinking big. Feel the end-result you’re seeking. Visualize and try to simulate the emotions you would feel when you achieve the goal. Don’t be blind to the power that rests in you.

See “what can be”. Not just ‘what is’. This way of thinking contributed significantly towards me representing Australia at the World Natural Bodybuilding Championships in NY, USA and ranked in the Top 5 in two consecutive years. The power of imagination at work.

People who go through my programs remind themselves in their journey towards their BEST, that ‘you’re better than you think you are’. They learn to stretch their vision.

From the many people I have helped over the years, I have learned many things. One thing I have learned in the successes and failures is that the result a person achieves is dependent on belief and capacity. It boils down to this:

“How much you can do depends on how much you think you can do”.

When you believe you can do more and dream big, your mind shows you the way. From my observations of people over the last 23 years in the gym and the little miracles I witness almost every single day, I have no doubt that capacity is a ‘state of mind’.

So, BELIEVE. Dream better, see ‘what can be’. Dream big. Use your imagination. Practise. You’ll find a way, this way. You don’t need more will-power to find a way. You have tonnes of that already if you’ve lived this far.

Be the BEST you can be in your mind – for you, first. Then, for others.

Achievement follows.

Until next time,

action, awareness, change, courage, dreams, Energy, faith, game of life, hope, you

Live. Die. With dignity.

Most of us would agree that food, shelter and water are the most basic of our needs. Beyond this, most of us would disagree as to which needs are more important – it depends on the person and the circumstance I guess.

I think you can adhere to a simple, yet, powerful advice from the wise Marcus Aurelius –

“if it is not right, don’t do it: if it is not true, don’t say it”

Maslow’s hierarchy pyramid puts these most basic of human needs in a category called “physiological needs” along with sex. There are 5 levels and we progress to the next level only when the lower levels are satisfied.

There are safety needs and then belonging/love needs (which includes family, friends and sexual intimacy). From there we strive to satisfy our ‘esteem’ needs and beyond that we reach ‘self-actualization’ needs. Only 1 in 100 people actually reach this level according to Maslow.

I wrote about the most fundamental of human existence in a previous blog and that is – ‘freedom’. A big word this is and can be defined in many different ways.

Every one of us live in fear in one form or another, every day as we go about our lives. Fear comes in many forms and when it exists, freedom is sacrificed. I would go on to say that there are many societies in the world today whose people actually accept and are content to live under fear.

Good people cannot stand by and let injustice happen … which removes the key element of Freedom – dignity.

It is amazing that in today’s world where technology is changing at an exponential rate, some of the most basic of human needs like freedom are not or have not changed for the better in centuries.

One such human need that is taken away when freedom is removed is ‘dignity’. This is usually the result of control through fear.

To be a complete human, however, I believe each and every one of us need to be allowed to live our lives with dignity. When people live in fear or when freedom is taken away, their ‘human-ness’ is taken away and this is experienced at different levels.

The very essence of feeling human is lost. One loses his/her dignity where the very foundation of what it means to be ‘human’ is swept away from under you. You lose control over your existence and destiny.

This is one of the worst feelings one could ever have to endure while being alive. This, I believe, is worse than going without food or water. Dignity is a far more important need.

Being deprived of dignity for a prolonged period increases the risk of losing hope. And when you lose hope, you lose the desire to live. Not a good place to be.

If you went without food and water for long enough, you will die. If your freedom was taken away from you long enough, you will either die or become rebellious. The significant difference between these deaths is that if you die without food and water, you can still die with dignity.

We all need to live and die with dignity.

True. Allow citizens to live & die with dignity.

It is a need. A most basic, most fundamental need.

So, stop for a few seconds and say a prayer for all those people in societies (including ours) all around the world who live in fear and who are deprived of the need to live their daily lives with dignity.

Pray that they may find the courage and fortitude to continue seeking this very essence of self-actualization that Maslow refers to. Pray that they be given the very thing that makes them fully human. Pray that they get their dignity back.

If they aren’t given their dignity back, pray that they take it back. Let us all pray that each and every one of them garner enough voice to say ‘no’ to the injustice they experience. The word ‘no’ is perhaps the greatest expression of human dignity possible.

Say ‘no’ to any form of control through fear!

Let us pray that they gather enough wisdom to know that you cannot find without seeking. You cannot hear without listening and not having the luxury of saying no and enough is enough is to make worthless any acts of seeking or hearing or doing.

Effort alone is not enough.

You must believe and hope that freedom from all forms of fear is possible and deserving of you.

Choose to say ‘no’ to anyone or anything that forces you to be someone you’re not. Keep your dignity. Don’t sell your soul.

Be yourself – always.

Live. Die. With dignity.

Until next time,

Wonderful insight in to the mind of a Great Leader.
Be courageous. Everything stems from courage. Never let anyone or anything tear your dignity from you.

Patience & love is vital to each individual, each community, each nation and the world 🌎.

action, adaptation, awareness, dreams, faith

4 Skills my kids have helped me strengthen.

A light jog on a local beach ….

Imagination

My children have quite vivid imagination. When my daughter decides to play ‘pretend’ situations she really gets into the roles. From the start to the end of the game, she ‘becomes’ the role she chooses to be. It could be a princess or a fairy or a warrior. She dresses up like the character and immerses herself in to the role and if I mistakenly call her by her real name, she either does not respond to “Olivia” or she just reprimands me.

I have learned pretty fast not to go out of character until we have both agreed to. This has only strengthened my imagination. Try working on yours too, if you feel it needs improvement.

Remember: If you can’t conceive (imagination), and don’t believe, you won’t achieve.

2. Persistence

This is another of life’s lessons that keeps coming up in relation to the achievement of any worthwhile goal you set for yourself, whatever field you choose to be in. Persistence is a critical element of goal achievement, especially when the ‘going gets tough’ and you hit hurdles along the way which you almost inevitably will. She reminded me of this very early in her existence.

If my son or daughter wants something, say chocolate for example, they will not stop asking for it even if it takes all day. They persist with requests until they get it, despite all the rejections they receive. They will find all sorts of ways to approach it and find new ways of persuasion and ‘getting their way’. They just don’t accept the word ‘no’. They find a solution.

They just don’t give up! …. and so should you.

Blind faith

My son and I have been wrestling on the living room floor almost every day ever since he was a few months old. He enjoys the “rough-housing” games we play and is getting very good at it now and growing increasingly stronger each time we tumble and rumble. Sometimes he gets up on the couch and jumps on to me. He has no hesitation nor fear. He just launches himself in the air like a professional wrestler in the direction of me on the floor.

He has no fear of being hurt because it seems he believes that I will ALWAYS catch him. I always have so far. We have had some close calls with regards to him missing me and landing on the floor and seriously hurting himself but that is as close as it gets: close.

I love this blind faith that he has. This belief that I will always catch him. His belief in me. It’s this sort of blind faith or belief that you need when you’re pursuing your goal, your dreams even in the face of insurmountable odds and risks. Sitting on the fence and over-analysing the situation, sometimes can fester more fear which leads to more fence-sitting and in-decision.

Sometimes you learn better by ‘doing. Sometimes you need to leap before you think. Sometimes you need to walk before you can crawl. Sometimes you need to – Just DO IT!

Enthusiasm

Enthusiasm and zest for life is one of the most under-rated traits of human beings. Everyone highly prizes academic intelligence, musical intelligence, spacial intelligence, mechanical intelligence, physical intelligence etc. Well and good. These can all be measured and managed. I believe, however that many people over-look enthusiasm.

What is enthusiasm? Well, I simply define enthusiasm as the ability to think positive every single day. Yes, I know that is very difficult. But, I think you should try it if you haven’t already being doing so. It is important that you take back control of your mind and make the conscious choice to do so. I help people do just this in my line of work and I thank God my children remind me of this every day as their enthusiasm and zest for life is beautiful and contagious.

This force of energy in direction of thought fills you with vitality and when it is transmuted or focused through the right channels, it generates even more energy – it not only adds years to your life but life into your years.

Before I go I would like to take this opportunity to thank my two children – Zachary and Olivia for raising my awareness of and in the improvement of these 4 skills.

I hope this helps you too.

Until next time,

Having fun with a star jump!

Side Triceps.

adaptation, awareness, Beliefs, dreams

I spy with my little eyes …

Training in my Old School Gym adopting Old School Training techniques with a modern twist. Know the basics. Apply the basics. Adapt to the basics. Keep it simple and keep it continuous. Its the most efficient, most effective and safe approach to building a muscular physique in the gym. Find a gym with minimum distraction if you desire results. Focus! Paul.

Time will tell what truth our children search foratvel

Marvel at the intelligence behind their thinking
We (my wife and I) play a game with our children we call “I spy with my little eyes” whenever we’re sitting for any length of time. It could be anywhere but mostly when we’re in the car. The kids enjoy it. I mainly like the game because it teaches my kids to be in the ‘present’ and helps increase their awareness of their external environment.

It also challenges them to compete and think. I sit back and marvel at the intelligence behind their thinking and how fast they embrace change.

My daughter is getting quite good at playing the game now and is thinking of ways to make the guessing harder. She dislikes losing but I try and remind her that tasting defeat and failure teaches you to appreciate success and winning, when it happens.

“And it does happen” I tell her.

“Patience is key”.

My kids watching my wife exercising (doing Deadlifts) in the gym…
They’re learning about how strong their mother is … and the importance of healthy lifestyle choices

Roller-coaster of life
She has not fully understood the idea of the virtues of patience yet but she is responding to losing much better now than she used to. She is not afraid to have another go. She is slowly learning to face her fear of failure, of losing. A very important lesson to understand in the roller-coaster of life.

I try to explain to her that losing is like falling off her scooter when she is riding her scooter. What’s important is not that she falls. What’s important is that she learns to catch herself better each time she falls and pick herself up faster. And ….

… try again!

This time, with a little more care. With experience, comes smarts.

So, using the scooter analogy, I tell her that when she loses a game of “I Spy with my little eyes’ to dad – to me, or her mother she needs to firstly, accept the loss graciously, learn from it and then ….

… try again!

She does. And she is now winning more games then she is losing and has learned to respond to losing more positively.

Very soon, she will win all the games I play against her. One day in the future, she may remind me of the importance of accepting a loss and being gracious in defeat. I look forward to that day. It will remind me that I will be in another phase of my life and also that we’re all never too old to be reminded of life’s lessons.

Enjoy a swim … enjoying regular Family Time is critical to strong 💪 foundation of character

Re-set our personal GPS

It helps to re-set our personal GPS (Goals) for Life if we have gone off course a little.

What is your GPS for Life like? Does it need re-calibrating? Don’t be afraid to do so. Its never too late to re-align your GPS for your Life just like we do when we refer to maps on our phones when we need direction. It never too late just like you’re never too old to join a gym and start lifting weights towards a better YOU.

A small change in direction may result in a huge change in where you end up at the end of your life just like a miniscule difference of 1 nautical degree could change a ship’s destination point by tens of kilometers. Don’t just use your eyes to see what’s in front of you, use your eyes (through imagination) to see what is not there yet.

Desire it. Feel it in your heart.

Reflect. Take some time out to reflect on your life these holidays, in all areas in the sphere of your life – relationships, family, career, financial, spiritual, physical. If you’re waiting to add it to your list of resolutions in the New Year, great!

Reflect on the falls you have had (and lets be honest, we all have had some to date). Take the lessons. Learn how to fall better in the future. Have no fear. Have no doubt. Each fall leads you closer to a better result.

Re-set your GPS, we all need to do so every so often as we journey through life. The New Year is a great time to do so – to catalyze and crystallize your GPS as you work towards a better you.

A better life.

Be safe this festive season and a prosperous 2015 to you!

Until next time …

foundations of a gritty strong character Begins in the Family … in the home …

My children striking their version of one of the seven compulsory poses in bodybuilding – the “Front-double biceps” pose.
… and strike!

action, awareness, Body shape, dreams, Energy, game of life, Goals, Imagination, muscles, risk, workout, you

The BEST workouts – the fusion of chaos and structure.

Relaxed with dumbells.

After 23 years of gym training, I would define my best workouts as what the subject heading states.

The best workouts are the ones that ‘flow’. It is the fusion or culmination of chaos and structure.

You want your workouts to be a continuous progression of 15 to 60 second ‘focused moments’ within a rough plan. Chaos and structure fused together. You want a workout to hang together like a champion team with many muscle parts moving along cohesively as ‘one’ with one objective.

So, how do you make your workouts more orderly and have structure? How do you go from the myriad of workout possibilities and the chaos of research and conception to the necessary order of the actual workout? How do you choose between low reps or high reps? Which is better? Should you use heavy weights or moderate weights or feather weights? How long should you rest between sets? So many questions, so many answers.

Its neither in the questions nor the answers. Its in the intention. Your intention.

It can all get quite confusing and overwhelming, so much so that it would stop well-intentioned beginners in their tracks enough to quit even before they get started. Very sad indeed. They have so much information, most of which contradicts one another and so it leaves them with a feeling of not knowing where to start.

What I have always tried to do in almost all areas of my life is to manage my funnels better, to keep things simple. This includes my approach to my gym training. Keep this in mind.

When it comes to muscle, building quality muscle it is very similar to life itself. It builds on two principles:

1. Simplicity
2. Continuity

Here’s what I find helps:

1.Visualize and simulate.

In other words I try to arrive at my completed workout (in my mind) before I begin it.

I always have a ‘rough plan’ in mind. Here, a rough plan is like the scaffolding of a non-existing building, its there and provides structure and a bit of security but I don’t usually stick to it like glue. Nope, most of the time I do something completely different.

So, I have a rough plan – but I don’t stick to it!

“Why have a plan?” you may be thinking.

Well, I have found over the years that a rough plan will serve you better than an elaborate one or none at all when it comes to getting the best experience and results from workouts. You see, workouts generally have a way of making itself up as you go along due to the many variables you are faced with when you are in the gym within a rough plan.

Some variables you may likely experience is fluctuating energy levels, unavailability of machines, lack of focus, lack of sleep, rude patrons and so on.

2. Know what your goals are: be specific and then stick to it!

Whilst a rough plan is ideal, knowing what your specific training goals are is critical and will serve you much better than a general, loose one. You need to know what it is you’re trying to achieve before you go lift any kind of weights. What are you striving for – strength, power, endurance, better shapely physique? For example, if you want to train for strength then training like a marathon runner in the gym will highly likely end in disappointment.

Know where you stand and where you mean to go and be very clear about it. A workout is also not meant to be a walk in the park or sleep walk!

3. Dream it before you lift it.

Workouts are usually more enjoyable and shorter when its been thought through first. That is what I have concluded in my over two decades of deliberate practice of contracting and extending skeletal muscles in my entire body.

I ask myself questions – what am I trying to do here with this set of this particular exercise? What am I trying to achieve? How well am I doing each rep of each set of each exercise? What am I trying to feel after doing it? What am I looking for? Unless you’ve got answers to those questions, you’d better keep your hands away from those weights or don’t rush in to it or you may increase your risk of injuries. Better still, seek help from a suitably experienced professional.

Whilst training goals and a rough plan gives you structure and order the danger is that you can spend all your time planning and doing nothing. The truth is we discover weight training through training. Its that simple. You do your hardest training doing the training, the actual physical lifting – not in your mind.

A workout process gives you that sense of achievement at its completion among other things. Out of the process of its own unraveling. Out of the process itself chaotic – the thinking of the sets of the exercises and the order of the exercises that make up each workout and then the execution of the actual physical workout.

.. the road ahead ..

It is through trial and error and deliberate practice over time that a genuine gym enthusiast discovers what it is he or she is really trying to achieve and how he or she needs to bind it together in some order – some framework. He finds his or her muscle success formula.

You may find you asking yourself how each set you doing of a particular exercise contributes to your physical goal. I know I have always done so and still do.

If you’re diligent enough you may find yourself getting to the end of each set doing it rhythmically, economically and competently and moving progressively towards your specific goals. This is ideal.

You may find yourself feeling one of the best feelings you could feel in your lifetime, a feeling that only a few gym enthusiasts feel. I have trained people that have trained for over 30 years and have not felt this feeling.

This is a feeling that is as elusive as the Tasmanian tiger. You see anyone can lift weights but not many people get to learn to lift weights the right way and really ‘feel’ what you’re meant to feel in the worked muscle and your whole body. All my clients past and present feel it in their workouts. Its a gift from me to them.

A feeling that all bodybuilders refer to as the ‘pump’.

A feeling that I call the ‘essence’. A feeling that is climaxed through the ideal reps of the ideal set which makes for the best workout – the fusion of chaos and structure in and out of the gym. Its almost like daily living in some ways.

… but that essence ain’t vanilla essence!

You friend in muscle and body transformation success,

Until next time,

a better life, action, adaptation, attitude, authenticness, awareness, Beliefs, better choices, care empathy, change, change management, choices, consciousness, dreams, Energy, game of life, habits, Imagination, life, long-term perspective, long-term strategy, muscles, patience, perseverance, perspective, responsibility, truth, Vitality, you

Inside-out Roll.

Front double-biceps with Olivia and Zachary for the camera.

Family Traditions

My family and I enjoy eating Japanese Sushi. We have it once a week.

It is part of one of our young family evolving traditions – eating out at this point in our lives. My kids enjoy kids tuna and rice sushi pieces and my wife normally digs in to whole larger versions of the sushi roll. She specifically requests for the “Inside-out Roll” with either tuna/avocado or salmon/avocado.

I normally have one or two of these Inside-Out Sushi Rolls in addition to fresh or cooked garlic prawns with a touch of seaweed. Delicious. A weekly treat for the Valentine’s in this phase of our lives.

The inside-out roll got me thinking about life.

How it could symbolise one of the important lessons of life, relating to change and that to change any worthwhile aspect of our life, as part of our self-growth, we need to turn ‘inside-out’.

Just like that sushi roll.

We need to turn ‘within’ to live, happily, without. I have to make a qualification though – you adopt the 80-20 rule ” or principle”, with regards to letting go of things or comforts of life, depending on where and how you choose to live.

To make any change to ourselves, we need to turn ‘inside-out’, to change within to change without.

Eliminate and de-clutter the ‘noise’ that has been uploaded in to your brain since the cradle

Change – REAL CHANGE – comes from the INSIDE-OUT.

Yes, you can make superficial small changes on the surface, but in order to make significant changes and sustain them, you cannot just trim the edges of the bushes. You cannot just rake the leaves off the ground under the tree. The leaves which represent attitude and behaviour.

Nope, you cannot just focus on the ten percent of the ice-berg that you see above water and do some ‘band-aid’ quick-fix personality technique.

Nope, not good enough!

For sustainable change to a significant area in your life, you need to dig at the roots of the tree. You need to work on the ninety percent of the ice-berg that is under the water. You need to get at the cause. You need to get to your belief systems, to become more aware of your fundamentals. Your philosophy of your life so far.

You need to understand YOU better and understand the philosophy or paradigm you adhere to that defines your character at this point in time. Your being. And the lens through which you see the world outside.

It is quite obvious that if we want to make relatively smaller, insignificant changes in our lives, we can perhaps appropriately focus on our attitudes and behaviours. However, if we want to make significant, quantum change, we NEED TO WORK ON OUR PHILOSOPHY. Our basic paradigm.

This is how change, sustainable significant change, can only come about successfully by working on yourself from the inside-out, just like that tasty inside-out sushi roll.

So, what can you do to make change happen that could have a positive and possibly significant impact on your life?

Try this: become more patient with yourself.

Just like muscle growth, patience is key. So, to change the world, change within. Change is essential to life. If you’re not changing, you’re not living. With change, one is forced to consider adapting.

It is in the process of adaptation, that one appreciates growth (with muscle growth and also with life growth). Changing within to live without, allows for growth. A worked muscle is usually a little ‘tender’ the next day or two. Implementing change inside-out leads to muscle growth, leads to self-growth.

Just like muscle growth, self-growth is tender, a little precious even. Work on it. Persist. Build change from within. Then, preserve it.

Sustainable Self-growth and muscle growth occurs best through the inside-out approach. Remember, though, for growth to be positive, you need to work hard at maintaining the environment that helps create that growth.

Both are two of the most important investments you will ever make in your life.

Good luck!

Until next time,

Cheers & Ahoy!

The Old Cap’n Viking Pirate

Back Double Biceps
Placing: 2nd in Australia

Champions practise a lot of visualisation and simulation.
To create magic, you need to fuse the worlds of sanity (where you are) with insanity (where you dream/imagine you are, before you are).
That is difficult.
That is one of the key keys.
Don’t stop. Trying. Believing.
Keep on … keeping on. You’ll get there. Everyone always does.
Especially, if you do it with your heart. and ….
with LOVE.

adaptation, Beliefs, dreams

Shaken and stirred.

Can you see “me” in my son? Can you see you in your son?

Testing the Boundaries.

I like James Bond movies.

I think I am not alone in this department. A lot of men probably love him (and most women, too). They probably love the idea of him, more than anything else.

He embodies the alter-ego of almost every man on earth. I think every man secretly harbors thoughts of playing out a James Bond fantasy act at one point in their life or another – the fast, slick car that turns heads. The constant jetting in and out of countries. The object of desire of women wherever he goes. And more …

But it’s a dream for most men. Not all, I must add.

A dream to live for.

My son – Zachary (we call him Zach or Zachie) has made me aware of many lessons in life so for. I was made aware of another ‘life lesson’ over the last two weeks. Well, he had been trying to teach me something but I stubbornly and blindly missed it for two weeks and it was only yesterday that it dawned on me.

You see my son has just turned three years old recently and I have noticed that he had been quite rebellious over the last two weeks. Well, that’s how I viewed it. That was my perception of the behavioural changes I had noticed. He wouldn’t respond when called, sometimes, even after being called multiple times. He would blatantly disobey any requests that his mum or me would make of him. He would regularly, cheekily do the exact opposite. He would test our patience with many daily situations and raise our tolerance level for disobedience.

He was and still is ‘testing the boundaries’. He was challenging our authority, questioning the norm. Fair enough!

The future and how you will live it is of paramount importance.

Children begin at a very young age to take control of their lives. Many children I suspect, just like mine, learn how to control their parents’ lives as well, long before they know how to talk in complete sentences.

Whining receives attention. Crying receives consolation. Begging begets goodies. Tantrums create havoc. It is easy to incite mummy against daddy and sit back and watch the show. Just like on TV!

All relationships have a ‘power and control’ button and just like the tide of the sea, ever-so constant, the ‘ebb and flow’ represent the delicate balance of the ‘give and take’ of the relationship.

It is the life-blood of all good long-term relationships. Learning to be a better master at managing this skill is essential to any relationship.

Anyways, I have finally learned the life lesson he was trying to make me aware of and this is where James Bond comes in. You see, James Bond always states the way he likes his martini drink, saying “shaken, not stirred’. That’s the way he likes it.

Sufficient and appropriate for that particular type of drink but not the best option when it comes to life.

Zachary’s inquisitive and rebellious behaviour these last two weeks was one that not only shook but he also stirred it. Hard. With no fear. Without order. No systematic approach adopted here. Nope!

He questioned the status quo. He challenged the way we were doing things. Our current beliefs.

You see it got me thinking about life.

This is a very important practise for everyone in life: To question over-riding theory and paradigm of the day. To question where you’re headed in your life. To reflect on the life you have lived so far, to learn whatever you can from the mistakes and failures you have experienced. But, it is the future and how you will live it that is of paramount importance.

Nope, it is your dream and idea of the future you would love to live – now, this is what is of paramount importance.

You can only do this by firstly, questioning your philosophy in life, in particular, questioning your ‘belief systems’ that got you to this point in life. It is your belief systems – consisting in part of, your values and principles you adhere to in your daily life, it is this that is the compass that guides you. Your GPS as you chart your course through the sea of life.

Captain of your Ship.

As Captain of your ship.

That is exactly what my son Zachary was doing.

He was questioning, through his actions and behaviour, the limitations of ‘the way we did things’ with regards to certain areas in our life (eating with his hands rather than use his utensils). He was questioning the relevance and the basis of certain beliefs we adhered to. His inquisitiveness and zest for life was stretching the boundaries we had placed on him. He was, in effect, challenging the ‘status quo’. Rocking the ship.

And its ok. It is vital. For him. For us, as a family. Asking questions and thinking of alternative solutions is vital to our country. Our world. It is through this questioning attitude that new beliefs are spawned. New ideas created. Ideas, when implemented, results in innovation. Innovation that leads to better life – better education; better health; better communities; better relationships; better quality of life.

A Better attitude to life.

I guess, just like any child his age, it is their imagination that drives them. Belief systems have not been imprinted on their brains yet. Belief systems have a significant impact on an individual’s life and how he/she turns out in adult life and goes as far as where he/she ‘ends up’ in life.

It is your GPS for your life.

Your thought patterns (on self-image, on self-esteem, on self-worth etc), your daily deliberate practices (habits); your character (the ‘essence’ of who YOU are) and ultimately – your ship’s course (destiny/destination) in life is dictated by your GPS (your belief system/philosophy).

To change direction of your ship. To change course, you have to re-set your GPS. You have to re-set your belief system, especially, if it has negative consequences in your life. Beliefs that inflict ‘self-imposed’ limitations on your daily life. Beliefs that were imprinted in your brain when you may have been a child, without you having a choice in accepting it. Before you could choose. These beliefs may have been im-printed by people that had some influence over you in your child-hood – your parents, your grand-parents, uncles, aunties, friends and friends of families, teachers in Primary School, coaches. You name it.

It can be quite daunting to consider all the possibilities and probabilities of risk of each relationship and the impact each had on you and your belief systems. Yes, it can be. But, it still needs to be done if you intend to reach your potential in life and chart your ship in to un-chartered waters. To discover the Captain Cook in you. You need to question their relevance, just like Captain Cook questioned the prevailing belief that the earth was flat all those centuries ago.

The risk of you not doing anything about it is far, far greater to how you live the next phase of your life, especially, the new destination you will Captain your ship to. Your new course in life.

The life you hoped for. The life you imagined.

Its never too late to sit down and write down what your philosophy of life is. What are some of your beliefs? What influence does it have on your daily actions and decisions? Be warned though – you will ‘rock your boat’. This may be a period of genuine unhappiness as you discover many things about your engine of life ( your mind) that was hindering your course through life. You will effectively be doing what my son, Zachary was doing these last two weeks. What he reminded me about some of the important things of life:

To ask questions.
To question authority.
To rock the boat.
To challenge the ‘status quo’.
To pick-apart belief systems.
To ask ‘why not?’.
To be able to choose beliefs that contribute to life – your life, not take away from it.

In life, we all need to periodically ensure that at various stages in life, in particular, as we enter and leave major phases of life, we need to review that our GPS – our beliefs at that point in life, be questioned. We need to question their relevance. Why? Because beliefs, whether you’re aware of it or not, generates what happens in your life. You need to stop continuing believing what does not serve you. What may have been relevant for survival as a toddler or as a teenager or when you were in your twenties, may not be relevant in your forties or post-retirement.

A wise man once told me that if you continue to think and act in the same way, you will continue to get the same result in life.

Change your thinking – change your life.

The foundation of this can be only be done through beliefs analysis. And we know how important a good foundation is to any building or construction work to keep it up and steady.

A relatively easy way of doing this is assessing the impact each belief has on you and your life, once you’ve listed your top ten down on paper. It takes a lot of courage just to do this. Don’t be scared.

We need to re-imprint new, relevant beliefs into our minds. We need to upload a new, improved GPS on to our brains. To help make us better Captains of our ships in the sea of life. As one of the greatest men that ever lived once said:

“The same thinking that has led you to where you are is not going to lead you to where you want to go.” – Albert Einstein.

We need to become a child again. Imagine more, like Einstein encouraged. Imagine better but also imagine responsibly.

My wife insists that I am the biggest stirrer she has ever known. True. But so is James Bond. Oh well, I’ll have to leave that one for another blog.

In the meantime, you need to ensure that at various legs of your charter and captaincy of life, that your consumption of the ‘fluid/drink of life’ is –

…. Shaken and stirred! Very un-like James Bond.

But, that’s perfectly alright. Some dreams are not realistic anyway. Accept it.

That’s life.

Bottoms up!

Thank you, Zachary.

Until next time,

p.s.. thank you too for reading this far … I hope you’ve got some value from this blog.

WHY NOT … paint my chin-beard, purple, I thought? My children were not impressed … ha ha ha!!

Beliefs, dreams, faith, game of life, hope, Imagination, life, long-term perspective, needs, perspective, time, truths, you

Reach out for your potential.

Relaxed.

Have you reached your potential – in your field of expertise?

Yes? Well, congratulations!

However, if you said “no” then you would probably make up the majority of people reading this blog and in the world (me included). That’s ok, too.

My question is: “Why Not?”.

What do you think are some of the factors that most often prevent the anyone from reaching his or her greatest potential – in whatever field? In my experience as a coach helping people of all ages and skill levels over the last two decades I’ve heard many barriers or excuses that people have told me regarding why they don’t or cannot make the time to go to the gym. Many, believe me.

What I have learned is that when you funnel out all the cr#p and lies people tell themselves, there appears to be two common barriers that often prevent most people from performing to their fullest. A barrier to ‘giving their all’. A barrier to ‘never giving up on themselves’. What do you think it is? Yep, some of you may have guessed it.

The first, as I see it, is a pattern of failures and past mistakes. When each of us look back honestly on our lives so far, we would all notice that we have made countless mistakes. Had a thousand failures. The second related barrier that appears to be holding people back is fear of failure. Yes, that other ‘F’ word: FAILURE.

Someone once said that “Failure is success deferred”. Very true. The key is patience. Most very successful people in all fields of life, most people that have reached the top of their professions or field of expertise, have all failed. Not once, but multiple times in the process of achieving success, of reaching out for their true potential. If you are going to fail, you might as well, fail big, someone once said. So, don’t be afraid to fail, if you’re going to do it in the pursuit of reaching success, then go ahead: Fail big.

Fail big – learn big!

If you’re a Christian, you, like me, may view these barriers through a different set of lenses or perspective. What I mean to say is that from a Christian perspective, the basic tenets of Christianity addresses these challenges most of us face throughout our lives and helps us remove these two major barriers.

As I recall from my early teachings in Catholic classes, being a Christian, we are taught that our past is forgiven; we are taught from a young age that we can start over with a ‘clean slate’. That making mistakes is a very natural part of life. And because of this, it gives Christians the resolve to trust that the mistakes of the past need not hold them back. It need not hold anyone back, even if you are not a Christian (and you are aware of possibilities). Everyone makes mistakes. Accept that. It reminds us that we are ‘human’ and ‘not perfect’.

So, it follows, according to the belief instilled in Christianity, we are taught and encouraged to never fear the “F” word – failure, that modern society looks upon as a taboo subject to talk about. That other “F’ word that everyone is afraid to open up and admit: Failure. As a Christian, because of our faith, we accept that we are not in total control of our lives, that ultimately, God (or whatever God you worship) is in control of your life.

Don’t mis-interpret me, please.

It does not mean that you start thinking that you will always get what you want or always win every competition you enter or always have things go your way or never get fired or never fail in an endeavour. No, it does not mean any of this at all. It does mean, however, that through your faith, and belief – that God can bring good out of every experience for those who trust in him.

The stronger your trust. The stronger your faith. The stronger your belief in God, you do not need to worry about failing. So, go ahead, people, pursue your dreams. Start the projects you’ve always intended to do but procrastinated because you were reminded of your past failures and you fear failing AGAIN.

If the burden, chains and memories of past mistakes or anxiety about failing in the future is removed, you would be FREE to FOCUS, wouldn’t you? To focus on doing your very BEST in the PRESENT. Makes sense doesn’t it? Yes, it does, if you are a Christian. Even if you are not and don’t belong to a religion, you could still see the gift that Christians have.

This is fundamentally how a real, personal Christian faith can liberate souls in need around the world. Around your world, maybe? It is the awareness of these basic Christian tenets and faith that can make it a little easier for anyone – yes, just like you, to reach out for his or her highest potential.

Having said that, I realize a lot of people think the idea of a ‘personal relationship’ with God (or a higher force – your God) sounds disturbingly exclusive, somehow presumptive, and more than a little pious. I do respect these peoples’ perspective. They just have not allowed themselves to be made aware of such consciousness. I thought the same thing when I was a young Catholic, questioning my belief, my faith … many, many years ago. But, life taught me otherwise.

According to the Bible, this idea of having a personal relationship with God isn’t at all presumptive. It was God’s idea in the first place. And it is not exclusive. It is available to anyone who accepts God’s offer. It is not too late for anyone to make that relationship and agreeing to the consideration on offer: your trust, your faith, your belief in him/her.

Then …. reach out (with both hands and with all your might) to your true potential through belief. In you. With God.

So, there you have it. Bring out all those little projects you have had in the ‘back burners’ and BEGIN IT. Maybe, that idea for a business that you were afraid to start. Or, it could be that change of career that you were afraid to make – to do what you love to do. There is power in beginning, starting NOW. Begin your walk to the gym. Begin your weight-loss program – AGAIN (even if you have failed many times before and tried everything but failed). Try again. Begin eating better again. Have faith in you, don’t give up on yourself. Especially now, with increased awareness of your faith, that you have God on your side.

Have that difficult discussion with yourself and with God to guide you on your journey to your goals … towards your imaginary self. But this time, with the belief that all your past mistakes, all your past failures is forgiven.

Create your new foundation for what you are building (on a clean slate) and begin putting the building blocks towards your highest potential.

Don’t look at life as a gamble. Instead look at life as a giant, very real game so become a better player of the ultimate game (with the belief that God is in your corner), like a great coach is in a Champion Boxer’s corner, in his ears, in the ring during battle. Have no doubt in you, no doubt in your God.

Remember: doubters don’t win or succeed. Winners don’t doubt, especially with your higher force on your side. Your God.

Reach out. Don’t delay. There is not time to lose.

Reach out for your potential. Today!

Until next time,

adaptation, Beliefs, courage, dreams, Energy, faith, Goals, hope, Imagination, life, long-term perspective, mind, perseverance, respect, time, you

Why Not?

Relaxed.

I love my children.

I love spending as much time as I can with each of them – Olivia and Zachary. I am very fortunate that in this phase of my life I am able to do just that.

Give them my time – my life. Just like other dads do, too.

Olivia, Zachary and I love doing many activities together. Building things using leggos is one such activity. My son teams up with me and we construct, bust down, re-build and re-construct the best castles we can dream up with the limited pieces of leggo pieces we have. Olivia is a champion builder now. Better than me already. They both are. She’s so good, that her constructions are very elaborate and above all – ‘stable’. That’s her thing – it has to be stable.

“Dad, she says, a castle is better to be stable than just pretty, aye dad?”

“Uhumm … yep, to some extent, that is true. You don’t want strong winds to blow it away now, do we? Like most important things in life, we need strong foundations. We all need to have our rocks in life.”

I try my best to encourage them to use their imagination and play ‘pretend’ games. Even though there is a limit to how many leggos they have, each time we build, they create something new. No creation is ever the same.

And when run out of leggo pieces, my daughter asks what else. I say lets pretend even more. Olivia gets so excited and so does Zachary. I start it off by saying ..

“Just pretend … that your castle has wings …. Large wings and it can fly …. Fly up in the sky and the wings are so large that the castle can take us all in it .. and …

My daughter interrupts me and then asks “But dad, castles can’t have wings, can they?”

I thought about what she said and I wanted to tell her the truth but I thought that a little un-truth, a little lie would be the best thing for her and her brother right now. I wanted them to continue their ‘make-belief’ world. Heck, if I had one wish I would want their ‘pretend world’ to not come to an end.

Let them run wild and far with their imagination. Keep dreaming. See what they come up with. Encourage them to ‘see’ what others cannot, what I can’t.

With no restraints. No rules. Their world where anything is possible. Where castles have wings … large wings. Enough to carry mum and dad and them away in to the skies. Forever.

I told her that her castle can have wings. Anything she wanted would be given to her. Any power she wanted. Anything she imagined, no matter how ridiculous it may be, would be granted. There were no rules. No one to tell her what could and could not be done. She was the boss. The creator.

Olivia stopped me again and said: “but dad, castles can’t have wings?”

I told her “why not, Olivia. Why can’t Castle’s have wings? I told her not to just ask “Why?” but also consider “Why not?” and then her story-telling of her make-belief world started flying. She imagined all sorts of things. All sorts of possibilities. I was in heaven just listening. Listening to their debates. Their possibilities.

Wow, I enjoy the storytelling my kids share with me!

She didn’t argue with my lie. Only I knew, that I lied. A lie that castles had wings.

But that lie was enough for her to continue her dreaming, her storytelling. Her ‘pretend-world’. I thought telling her a little lie was better than telling her the truth. She will eventually find out the truth but in her time. In her time.

They can find out other little small lies society tells them as they journey through their lives. But, in their time. Things like Santa Clause. Like the Tooth Fairy. Like the Easter Bunny.

These little lies (and there are many in life) are important to every child. Every person who was once a child. It encourages their imagination to run wild. It gets them to question possibilities. It gets them to not just ask “why?” but instead to also ask “why not?”.

Why not? Why not create a castle with wings? Why not travel to the moon? Why not be a better you? Why not make a more fuel-efficient car? Why not choose to eat a healthier meal option just because you respect and love yourself a little bit more today than you did yesterday? Why not go to sleep early tonight and say no to a ‘big night out”? Why not strive to be a better person from this hour forth? Why not make time to go to the gym at least twice a week? Why not take care of your beautiful self better?

Why not, not why?

Look back at your life. The way I see it, it seems that up until six years old, we get lots of encouragement. But by the time we reach our teens, we get discouragement from everyone and everything we experience in life. By the time most of us kids get to working life, young adults appear to have been drained of courage and have lost most of their enthusiasm – that sparkle that allows a person to choose to adopt positive thinking everyday.

Why?

I believe one of the reasons is that not enough of us humans are asking ourselves “why not?”. A lot of people have lost belief in striving for a better life. A better self. They have lost belief in themselves. Enthusiasm and courage has been sucked out of them.

Also, partly because they’ve stopped asking themselves “why not?”

Its not too late people. Its not too late to do something about it. Its not too late to try to lose ten or so kilos. Why not? Its never too late to start dreaming again. Its never too late to start believing in yourself again. Why not try harder? Why not keep going? I’ve seen it with the very old and the young alike. That is the only thing that gives you hope:

Believing in a dream … make it your dream … to believe in the question of telling you and asking yourself the question of “why not” …. Be your BEST you can be – for yourself and … while you’re on a roll, why not be the BEST YOU CAN BE for others too!”.

Don’t wait for the perfect moment when all is safe and assured. It may never arrive. Mountains will not be climbed. Walking on the moon may never have happened. Don’t allow fear to make you quit. Never quit on life. You’ve got to win over yourself. Never settle for defeat. Never stop striving to being the best you can be, in every sense of the word.

Have you hitched your wagon to a star? Why not?

It seems that there is a philosophical movement that exists that associates drive and initiative solely with materialistic power and gain. There appears to be an ever-growing obsession focused on the accumulation of non-essential personal possessions.

This should not be confused, I think, with personal achievement and the pursuit of individual excellence. Disregarding all material gain, I believe there is a pure personal pleasure which comes from achieving the difficult or the unusual. Whatever it is that it is.

The magic rests in everyone of us. Yes, it rests in you too. The enduring power that has moved you and will move you, again, comes from inside. Yes, inside you.

Success is not just reserved for the talented. It is not in the high I.Q. Not in the gifted birth. Not in the best equipment and technology. Not even in ability.

Success in anything, I believe is hugely dependent upon drive, focus and persistence. The extra energy required to make an extra effort – to go the ‘extra mile’ – to try another approach – to ask ‘why not” do something a little bit different, a little bit smarter – to concentrate on the desired outcome – is, I believe, the secret to achievement. To win, in your unique journey through life.

The magic is this: ATTITUDE.

A wise man once said: “Its your attitude, not your aptitude that determines your altitude in life”.

Apply. Adapt accordingly.

See how the next four decades pan out for you. Choose well.

And when you start dreaming again, you might as well dream BIG. It takes the same amount of focus!

As another wise person once said: “Make no little plans: they have no magic to stir your blood to action – instead make big plans, aim high in work and hope.”

Ask yourself – “Why not?”

Until next time,

body, dreams, Energy, faith, Goals, habits, hope, life, long-term perspective, mind, perseverance, planning, self-image, time

Don’t be a rudderless ship.

The one thing I know about going anywhere, is firstly, you have got to decide on where it is you’re headed. Usually before you depart. This increases your chances of heading in the general direction of your destination and – getting there!

Knowing where you want to or desire to go is very important in all areas of life – physically, financially, spiritually, relationships etc. The one thing that my successful clients have all got in common is a ‘sense of purpose’ in why they are going through a body re-engineering program and getting help from me.

I work with my clients to put together a picture of how they would realistically see themselves looking like. Once done, I design daily habits to help them achieve their goals, using my framework to body transformation – a Game Plan.

They get critical goal-achieving acts to be performed daily. These were habits that were not fun but necessary to achieving their goals. I differentiated them from acts which were merely tension-relieving and got them to FOCUS on the former. Once I devised the plan to make it happen, they developed the attitude of “I’ll do what’s necessary to get what I want”.

They had purpose.

You see, what I have learned in over 20 years of helping people in the gym is that purpose is the engine that powers our lives. What we’ve all got to do is work at increasing that ‘engine size’, maybe from a 1.8L to a 4L or 6L?

Everyone has purpose, yes. For some it is surf, and others the internet, still others it is to eat, for others it may be just to get through the day and for others still, it is revenge or getting even. In very challenging stages of your life, the response you need – purpose – is the healing portion that enables each of us to face up to adversity and strife. A winning positive mental attitude.

Don’t give up on life when the going gets tough and you’re in a little rutt. Always think that its only temporary. Don’t think that you no longer expect anything from life. Instead, think in the reverse: think that life was expecting something from you. That life is asking of every individual, including you, a contribution and it is up to YOU to discover what it is. What it should be.

Someone really wise once said:

“Where there is life, there is hope.”
“Where there are hopes, there are dreams.”
“Where there are vivid dreams, repeated, they become goals.”

So true.

These goals then turn in to action plans and game plans – life plans. When these goals are connected to the heart, when it becomes an inner commitment, the achievement of the goals is almost automatic.

I see that with everyone I have successfully helped – it means something to them, your goals has got to mean something to you, too, in whichever area of life it may be.

This is one of the critical reasons for over 80% of my clients who have achieved their body transformation goals. They had their heart in it and realised their desires through the game plan I set for them and worked the plan. This is critical – working the plan!

As the saying goes, if you fail to plan, by default, you plan to fail.

What kind of goals are you committed to?

Have you asked yourself “what do I stand for?”. What would I defend to the end? What would I want people to say about me when I am gone? What do you want your children to tell their children about you?

It seems that for many people, millions of people – getting through the day is their -goal and getting to the ‘end of the week’. You hear radio announcers re-iterating this pathetic line, tv hosts reminding you of the ‘slug’ of the ‘daily grind’. What a load of you know what!

Setting such goals results in people generating just enough energy and initiative to get through the day. Their goal is to watch television – soap operas by day, game of chance shows in the evening, cops and robbers, home renovation shows and situation comedies by night – seemingly having no goals of their own. They sit in a semi-stupor night after night with tunnel vision and watch TV actors and actresses enjoying themselves earning money, pursuing their careers and their goals.

Do you go to work everyday waiting to see what happens? And do you spend all your time making someone else’s goals come true?

Purpose, my friend – purpose.

Do you know where you are going in your life? Do you really know? If you do, then, I would say that you would be in the less than 5% of human beings who do. Congratulations!

The vast majority however, I would say, sadly, do not. Like a ship with no rudder, left to the changing tides of the sea of life, with increased risks of getting no where or possibly getting ship-wrecked.

Aim to be one of the 5% if you’re not there already.

Start by setting lifetime goals and then breaking them into bite-size chunks for 1 year or 5 years, a 6 month or just a season project. Once set, spend more time on high-priority goal-achieving activities, daily. Just like my clients who successfully got the body they desired, they stuck to the game-plan through deliberate practise of daily habits.

Most people spend more time planning a party, studying the newspaper or news and/or making a Christmas list, than they do planning their lives.

Don’t be one of the 95%.

Find your purpose – your life direction.

Take the time and exercise the discipline to decide on your destination and to chart a course. Captain your ship through life with proper sails and rudders and accomplish more in a few years than most would accomplish in a lifetime. Just like my clients accomplish in a few months what many gym enthusiasts fail to achieve in years.

How?

The 5% of human beings that have done it have developed their game plan for LIFE.

Work on yours today!

There’s no time to lose …

Until next time,

Changing lives. Empowering people. One life at a time.

Triple A to Life: Awareness. Action. Adaptation.

Category Archives: dreams

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Inside-out Roll.

Shaken and stirred.

Reach out for your potential.

Why Not?

Don’t be a rudderless ship.