action, adaptation, awareness, belief systems, Beliefs, change, choices, courage, Energy, game of life, Imagination, life, long-term strategy, perspective, planning, respect, self-image, you

Real Love for The Real Man.

Every man needs to wake and release the 'champion' within him. Let it loose. Let it fly. Let it go. In his own way.

Every man needs to wake and release the ‘champion’ within him. Let it loose. Let it fly with wings. Let it go and serve others … In his own way.

I mentioned in my previous blog “The Simple-Complex Man”, it is without doubt that being a father is difficult in today’s world but, I believe, being a man – a ‘Real Man’ is more difficult.

Look around us and the avalanche of images and messages that bombards us, every day, of what a Real Man is. In Australia and most of the developed world, it is heavily communicated in stereotypes in beer ads or car commercials. A lot of these stereotypes I find, conflicts with what most men out there think of themselves.

There are a lot of great men out there but many of them are confused. Confused of what it means to be a REAL MAN. Let me elaborate …

You see, from my experience in helping hundreds of men in gyms over the last two decades, a lot of men are so much more than what these narrow stereotypes convey. Really shallow stereotypes actually. What is even more concerning is the various messages of ‘love’ and what love means to a ‘Real Man’. The majority buy in to these stereotypes and meet disappointment in life – sooner or later.

Very sad indeed.

Like I said, it is very difficult for a lot of men out there. A lot of men who don’t know what it means to be a Real Man.

I must admit that I do not know the full answer but I do think that a big part of being a Real Man is that he is AUTHENTIC.

We learn many definitions of ‘love’ and we can think of many examples of what it is. Some think it is impossible to understand or define. Fair enough. It does not, however, mean we should not try to understand it.

You see, as I see it, for all you men reading this, “Love” for a Real Man is simply this: Action. Remember that saying “action speaks louder than words?”. Well, I think certain elements apply here.

There’s also another definition and for you Christians reading this – a Real Man will love a woman the way the Bible says it to. I think even the most militant feminist would not dispute a love like THAT!

I believe if every man out there just has one goal and that is: to be the BEST MAN HE CAN BE. For himself, FIRST and then for everyone else. And, when he leaves this world for the other world, he might just come close enough to be a REAL MAN.

From my interaction with men of all ages over the last two decades, I have deduced that Real Men have a few common traits –

He treats his wife RIGHT (in all areas of life).
He is a SERVANT rather than a MASTER ( I would like to think my wife and I are Co-CEOs)
He will do the RIGHT THING (doing the right thing is quite different to do what he has the RIGHT to do. Everything he does, he DOES WITH 100%. Why? Because nothing else would measure up).

So, how are you faring with the above traits (they are by no means exhaustive but are 3 that first come to my mind, deduced from my large sample of men over the last two decades)? Are you a Real Man? When can you call yourself a Real Man?

Well, let’s keep it simple. As I see it, there is only one way: become a BETTER SERVANT. Even the great Mother Theresa said that we need to serve ’til it hurts. I think this should be every man’s motto for his love for his woman. Yes, all REAL MEN seek to SERVE. Keep giving of yourself to your woman. To give is to serve.

If you’re a christian, then just like Jesus Christ, our saviour served his beloved followers. All GREAT MEN seek to SERVE.

This can be quite difficult to accept because most of today’s men are told the opposite with all the unfiltered messages being absorbed in to their minds, their ‘thought factories’. These unfiltered messages tell these men that they should grow up and find a gorgeous wife who will take care of his needs.

He then spends his entire existence seeking out that someone, he is brainwashed in to believing that she will bring him happiness because she will SERVE HIM. In return for this fulfilment of his distorted delusions of what life and love is and what it means to be a Real Man, he is made King of his Castle!

Yes, he works very hard. It’s the ‘manly’ thing to do, after-all he is told. He works very hard and gives her everything HE THINKS SHE WANTS.

But is that really what the woman wants? I beg to differ.

I have helped many men and women transition through very painful separations and divorces over the years and have felt the pain with them. It is very difficult for all parties involved. What I have noticed was that a lot of these women did get everything (from a material sense) that money could buy. A lot of these women had men who bought them everything THEY THOUGHT THEIR WIVES WANTED.

Costly mistake. I am appealing to all men reading this and all men out there to not make this mistake, like so many men have made before you.

What I found was that most of these women were miserable. Why? The reason I am about to tell you is something people don’t seem to talk about and may surprise some of you readers but I think it is one of the major factors in the consistently high divorce rates in society. Men reading this, I think the one very strong contributing factor that made these women miserable was that they were permanently PUT IN SECOND PLACE!

Not fair at all.

No one likes being in SECOND PLACE in anything for too long. Believe me, I know what it is like because I came 2^nd in the Australian Natural Body-building Championships in three separate occasions. Came so close, within a whisker … but to no avail.

Very dis-heartening and demoralising.

So, what I have found is that by the time I help these men and women during these painful transitions, most of these men do not fully understand what went wrong. A lot of these men are a little confused and I don’t blame them.

They are confused because they cannot ‘see’ how they have put their woman 2^nd all along. But by the time I see them, it is too late. These men just cannot put their woman first.

These men cannot because it goes against every fibre of their being. It goes against everything that they have been taught in all the messages society has pumped in to him from early child-hood. From within his family, his neighbours, his schools, his friends, his extended families and all the advertising messages and shows.

It surrounds him and blinds him. Chokes him. The Real Man is chained within, as he suffers silently. Like so many men in today’s world do. Suffer in silence with inconsistent definitions of what a Real Man is. His whole belief-system is distorted and he has been following blindly.

He cannot be blamed for total responsibility for this, if everything, everyone and his whole world is telling him that the distorted definition of Real Love is what it is. The world has inverted whatever that was made perfect by God. That of the real definition of love for a Real Man.

And do you know what the imitation is? Do you want to know what the counterfeit is dear readers? Do you know what the substitute is (just like there is for almost all genuine products out there)?

It is this: LUST.

It is everywhere and this is one of the many reasons I believe it is very difficult just to be A MAN in today’s world. Just like all non-genuine, unauthentic, imitation products and parts you buy – LUST can be cheaper, looks good and is just like the REAL DEAL. It can be very satisfying and bring excitement in to your life for a little while.

But, it is NOT TRUE LOVE!

You see – Lust, takes. Love, gives.

Lust is all about you, your selfish desires – your need to be the MASTER. Love puts your woman’s desires FIRST. Love puts SERVICE to your woman at the top of your ‘TO DO’ list.

Lust takes – for your selfish benefit. Love GIVES, for the one we love. This GIVING MUSCLE keeps growing if you feed and train it right. Strive to become a Real Man. All day. Every day. For the rest of your life on this earth.

Search for Real Love. Curb your enthusiasm for lust.

Lust is temporary, it will perish. Love is forever – in this lifetime and infinity. Even though you will return to dirt when you die, your soul – your spirit, your consciousness, will remain in the universe for all eternity. Your love will keep GIVING and you will be fulfilled beyond your desires.

… knowing that you were a REAL MAN while you were breathing and walked this earth. That you truly loved. That you were truly a servant to her – that you genuinely SERVED.

Those that you leave behind will have memories of this man. This version of a man that …. Went against the grain and was a … Real Man. To all Men reading this, I leave you this last message:

Be your AUTHENTIC-SELF. Tell the TRUTH. DO and BE YOUR BEST – ALWAYS. Take care OF YOUR FAMILY. RESPECT YOU – RESPECT OTHERS. Never stop DREAMING. Follow your DREAMS.

Until next time,

Connecting the dots through ‘mind-muscle’ communication via the nervous system strengthening.
Hold!

~~Life COACH~~

All photos taken by Robert Walsh Photography. Visit “www.robertwalsh.com.au” for an authentic artist. A true professional. A lovely human-being that is Robert. Vv.

awareness, belief systems, Beliefs, change, choices, Energy, game of life, Imagination, life, long-term perspective, mind, perspective, respect, self-image, you

The Simple-Complex Man.

With the next generation of Valentine males – Zachary.

Being a modern-day dad can be tough. No dad out there will say that this role is easy. But being a modern-day man, can be tougher.

Most men reading this would agree.

You see, I believe there have been generations of men who were failed by their fathers and are lost in a cloud of confusion. A lot of men spend a lifetime aimlessly drifting, through no fault of their own, succumbing to mindless misinterpretations of masculine identity.

Spending all their lives searching for the real meaning of what it means to be a real MAN – an authentic man.

If you’re a dad, have you thought about the influence you’re having on your children, especially your sons – If you have sons? It is amazing how our sons mimic everything we do, our actions, the way we walk and talk and almost all other mannerisms.

Do you realize that your little boy (s) is watching you like a hawk? He is closely examining you all the time. I find this happening with my son, Zachary. I think he is inquisitively trying to figure out what maleness is all about, and I am his role model just like you are your son’s role model. This is one of the many ways his existence has made me strive to be a better man. A better father.

Now, that is a tonne of responsibility right there. For all men with sons.

If you’re a Christian, I hope they see in you a deep, uncompromising love for God. You see, I try to strive for balance and hope that he sees both toughness and tenderness. I believe if you can demonstrate this balance and communicate it through your actions, this is one aspect will serve them well, as boys and later on, as young men of the world.

If you have daughters as well, this delicate balance of toughness and tenderness will also benefit your little girl(s), too. I believe they will grow up with a clear vision of the kind of men who make a good husband (if they choose to marry).

To all men reading this, take a good look at YOU in the mirror and ask yourself, are you the BEST MAN you can be? Are you an authentic man?

What do I mean by that, I hear you say?

Well, it simply means that you have accepted yourself as a ‘simple-complex’ male. That your masculinity is authentic because you’re flexible, you have built-in ‘elasticity’ in your manhood. You’re not afraid to get in touch with your feminine side.

Authentic men have a deeper sense of security.

There has been a growing number of emasculated men in today’s society. I have observed this over the last 20 years or so of being in and around male-dominated gyms and helping hundreds of men of all ages, help themselves, find themselves. But also, an observation of life, in general.

Emasculated men are Men who appear to not know what it means to be a real man. This is very sad indeed. These men should work on their balance by becoming secure enough. Secure enough, by confronting timidity and fear and to take more risks and commitments.

There are places and services available today that can help men. A good place to consider adding to your life is working on your ‘self’ in the gym. Get stronger. Get healthier. Feel better. Feel fitter. Re-claim your sense of balance. Re-claim part of the essence of masculinity, for no one else but – YOU.

On the other hand, there still exists a decent level of macho men too. I think these men should seek balance, too, by becoming secure enough to crawl out from under the false pretensions and quit trying to impress everyone around them. …

Just like in the superheroes of “Fantastic 4” where there is an elastic hero. An authentic man is an elastic man. He is a man that can lead with firmness, but also submit with humility.

I recall the great student of life – Bruce Lee saying, one has to be like water. It takes the shape of whatever form it is in. Water can break the toughest rock and can be very gentle and calm. It can exist in every state. It is essential to the very essence of life.

“Be water, my friend” – he says.

An authentic man strives to be like water.

An authentic man can challenge with precision and swiftness but also encourage enthusiasm. He can muster aggression when required to fight for causes he believes in but moments later, cry and empathise with those that are suffering.

If you’re a Christian male, remember this: we’re all created in the image of God. You’re a magnificent creature, even if you have never had anyone say that to you.

You’re male and you’re loved by God almighty. I am sure non-Christians’ faith spread similar messages of love – for you, the man.

Strive to be that “Mr Flexible” or as I say “Mr Flex – Able” … find that authentic man inside you (if you haven’t already done so). Be comfortable being your own ‘simple-complex’ man.

All the very best on your search becoming that authentic man you hope and imagine yourself to be.

Until next time,

Providing a little bit of assistance. My pupil here 'feeling the essence' of the exercise. In this instance, experiencing a pump in the guns/biceps. Sometimes, its the little things, that determine your success in pursuit of a worthwhile goal.

Providing a little bit of assistance. Brad, here ‘feeling the essence’ of the exercise. In this instance, experiencing a pump in the guns/biceps.
Sometimes, its the little things, that determine your success in pursuit of a worthwhile goal.

A teacher-pupil relationship is rewarding to both.

A healthy teacher-pupil relationship is a beautiful thing. Brad, here, is an ‘A’ student.

Black & White Photos by Robert Walsh of Robert Walsh Photography. For more information, look up

“www.robertwalsh.com.au”. Brilliant Artist. Skilled Professional. Wonderful human-being. Thanks Rob! Paul.

awareness, Beliefs, dads, dads love, daughters, Energy, faith, game of life, hope, life, respect, you

Daddies … and Daughters.

My beautiful daughter and I enjoying “Daddy-daughter time” on the Ferris Wheel at Luna Park in amazing Sydney, Australia.

I love my daughter. I would give my life for her.

I am sure most dads would do this for their daughter, too. But, we hope we never have to.

We have built a great relationship so far in her life and we enjoy our weekly “Daddy-daughter Day” time together, where there is no one else but her and I. We share each other’s company for part of a day. We just hang out. Sometimes, we say a lot, sometimes we don’t.

I cherish these moments.

I know I will miss these moments when she is all grown up and embracing her journey through adulthood. I hope it will take up a little special place in her memories of her time with me in time to come. I am looking forward to making more memories with her.

I am sure most, if not all the dads reading this and around the world have their own special relationship with their daughter(s). What a special gift it is to have.

My daughter and I.
I cherish every moment I have with her.
She allows me to be Mr Vulnerable too.
Vv.

We all know that girls, as well as boys, can go ‘off-track’ in later years, without the right guidance at home. What a responsibility it is for us, parents. I believe it is probably the most important investment, apart from education, that we are blessed to have in our lives.

The best counselling services in the best institutions and schools seldom make up for a lack of guidance from a present, and good father and mother. Some families tackle this responsibility singularly (single-parent families) and I take my hat off to them as I think it is a little easier tackling this huge responsibility as a team.

A father and mother team.

I have learned (from my experience with my daughter and from what I have learned from the hundreds of parents I have met and helped over the last 20 years) that daughters want you be the Chief Executive Officer (CEO) of the household on some matters only. All the other matters rests with the other co-CEO – her mother.

I believe it is important that daughters observe in her mother a wise, intelligent, caring woman who loves you, respects and can talk to you about all the important issues in the family. She needs to find comfort in a woman’s kind of wisdom and courage and patience in her mother …. That only a mother who tries, can provide.

I am blessed that my daughter’s mother, my beautiful wife – Cathy, is all this and much, much more. My daughter is blessed to have a mother like her, the woman I chose to spend the rest of my life with. Makes me very blessed too.

I have 2/16th Maori blood.
A touch of Polynesian-ness with flowers and necklaces brings smiles to the heart.
Here’s my one and only gritty Warrior Viking Pirate Princess

However, this blog is about daddies …. and daughters. What does she want to see in you – her dad? Well, I think your daughter would want to see in you an intelligent man’s viewpoint about life plus the ability to share the leading role of the household, with her mother in a life-affirming way. A fatherly way that is the essence for you.

Then, she can learn to love you as her father as well as a fine man … a fine, gentleman.

Dads reading this, remember – YOU ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT MAN IN HER YOUNG LIFE. I believe she ought to build her life according to what she sees in yours, or at the very least, give her a skeleton of a framework for her to build on (or subtract from). This can be done in a few areas:

Your wisdom – to withhold judgement until you have gathered all the facts, with emphasis on patience (which is lacking in the world today).
Your kindness – and care towards others who have not been able to get along in life due to no real fault of their own.
Your ability to forgive – those who have done wrong, seeing this forgiving energy flow freely without the need to hold grudges. She needs to see you rise to a higher consciousness level.
Your courage – to face seemingly impossible odds and the power of your belief and unwavering faith.
Your uncommon sense – uncommon because ‘common sense’ does not seem common any more. It is an hybrid of all these traits and more.

All these facets of being a dad rests with you, it rests in you. No one else can demonstrate this any better than you can. You need to show this in your actions. If, and this is a big if, IF you put your mind to it and you give it a go.

My children striking their version of one of the seven compulsory poses in bodybuilding – the “Front-double biceps” pose.
… and strike!

Her mother can show her all the traits of a fine woman and she can replicate it for her young adult life but you, the father, the daddy, is the proto-type of what her ‘man’ is.

Your example of what a good man is like, will be priceless to her …. Even if you sing off tune in the car every now and then or have the accidental fart leak out that would make even skunks run for air.

Tell her when you make a mistake, that every good superhero is a little flawed. Tell her that you are a flawed superhero and that you learn from your mistakes. Tell her that you grow the most through your mistakes, your failures. Show her how not to fear, failure. Tell her that you succeed through failure. Tell her that you’re a constant ‘work-in-progress’ but that you will always do and be YOUR BEST for her.

Just because you love her.

Being a good dad is fun. Being a great dad is a challenge. Being a dad is a blessing. Do the very best you can … and cherish those “daddy … daughter” moments.

It’s these moments that you will take with you in to the next realm when you depart this life. Your soul will carry it away … when you’re gone, but you can hope that these moments will remain in the heart and memories of your daughter(s).

That hopefully, will remind her (when everyone else forgets), that you were once here and walked this planet with her.

Until next time,

Zachary and Olivia with their good friend – Ruby. They just adore one another.

Does your daughter think you’re her hero 🦸‍♂️?

action, awareness, belief systems, Beliefs, body, choices, Energy, game of life, Imagination, life, long-term perspective, mind, muscles, perspective, planning, respect, self-image, truths, workout, you

Top 3 Keys to a successful workout. Key #2: Elegance.

February 2015.
At my old school gym, just about to do a set of barbell biceps curls or
what I would sometimes refer to as ‘loading the guns with ammunition’.
Hope you’re wearing your bullet-proof vests, take cover!

One of the many things I have learned early in life is that the “big truth” will always beat the “big lie”. The truth is we are more than meets the eye – but having a physique sure makes a difference in how people treat and react to us.

What is that saying that we’ve all heard growing up – “Don’t judge a book by its cover”.

Well, it is lovely and idealistic but the truth is we all do. The whole world does, every single day in everything we do. Matter of fact it is how one of the many public games is played on this planet. That is one of the many less than ideal characteristics of most human beings – we all judge things we ‘see’ by how they ‘look’.

That is just how we are wired.

Packaging for products is vital to the successful sales as it directly influences consumer purchasing behaviour and ultimately the ‘bottom-line’. Manufacturers know this and marketers get huge dollars for helping them do this.

Now, another thing I have learned in over 23 years in the fitness industry is that Self-perception or how we see ourselves, greatly determines how we look.

You see, “Inner image creates outer image”. Now, I know there are some idealists that may disagree, and that is fine. On the whole, this statement runs true for all of us. But here is one of the interesting things, one of the encouraging possibilities – it is one’s perception of one’s self that creates greater possibilities.

Drop your past when need be, when it does not serve you any longer. Let go of beliefs and belief systems that does not add any value to your current phase of life. Remove beliefs that limit you, beliefs that do not allow you to reach for your best self.

In my experience, another key element that makes up a successful workout is – elegance. I think this is attained if you’re natural and genuine, searching for an artistic approach (sculpturing as opposed to just lifting weights) and having a great appreciation for “balance and symmetry” (another definition for beauty).

Not many people ever get to this level and truly experience the ‘essence of each and every rep of each exercise’. Just as not all golfers ever play as effortlessly as a Tiger Woods or a professional on a golf course, instead with constant frustration of under-performing handicaps.

Just because you can hit a ball with a club does not necessarily mean that you will hit it in the direction of the hole. This is the same as lifting weights in the gym for the majority of people – you see, anyone can lift weights but only a few ever learn the art of body-building and choosing the right exercise (club) for the right moment (set etc).

Elegance in your workouts or the ‘search for balance and symmetry’ is hard to describe but I find it easy to recognize when I see it. You see it when top sports-persons play for example – Roger Federer gracefully hitting returns on the tennis courts or Jonathan Thurston having all the time in the world to kick in rugby league and effortlessly creating a play out of nothing. Or Maria Sharapova gliding across the courts or Usain Bolt bolting like lightening on the 100m track.

It is sheer beauty, ultimate elegance displayed before your eyes. Very few things can beat the feeling you get from witnessing ‘elegance in action’.

Making elegance part of you or what you do is a reflection of attitude combined with aptitude but taken to the HIGHEST LEVEL with the ambition of being the BEST. To achieve this takes the gifts of Energy and talent harnessed with a magnifying focus towards BEING THE BEST YOU CAN BE.

It requires hours and hours of not just practise – but deliberate practise with sustained FOCUS over many years.

Elegance fascinates me because I believe there is something eternal about it.

So, a successful workout for me is elegant (efficient, effective and a little sophisticated). This is similar to what we call –

FREEDOM … in dancing
SELF-EXPRESSION … in relationships
Being in the ZONE … in sports
EXCELLENCE … in work
NATURAL … in family
Looking HOT … in Sex
MAKING A DIFFERENCE … in Society
Getting the JOB DONE …. in business

So, there you go. After 23 years of working out in the gym, and my love of reasoning from and making deductions from patterns observed, my 2^nd key to achieving a successful workout is simply: Elegance.

Strive for this if you haven’t already done so.

It is more efficient, effective and reduces the risks of injury giving you longevity and more years of enjoyment.

Learn to learn, again.

Strive towards the new man (or woman) that resides in you, with elegance in mind.

All the best in your journey.

Until next time,

Side Triceps.
Australian Natural Bodybuilding Championships.
Lost by 2 points.
Final placing: Runner-up.

With my friend and coach at that time – 2 x World Number 1 (natural bodybuilder).

action, awareness, body, Body shape, Energy, Goals, habits, long-term strategy, mind, muscles, planning, respect, risk, workout

Take care of your “set of wheels”.

2007 World Natural Bodybuilding Championships staged in NY, USA.
Represented: Australia.
Placing: 4th.
Repeated this in 2008.

Now, I know some of you may love your cars and affectionately refer to them in many ways, including a ‘set of wheels’, and I am sure many of you take good care of your set of wheels. Let me tell you a story about the first time I heard that phrase.

One day, early on in my body-building years, during a break from my ‘set’, I gazed out the window and down at the cars parked on the road (the gym was on the 1^st floor), when the owner, came up to me and said –

“Son, you’ve got a good set of wheels there.”

I said “umm, no none of those cars there are mine. I jogged to the gym”.

He laughed and said that he wasn’t referring to the cars as he looked down at my legs. He pointed to my legs and said –

“those wheels – you’ve got a good set of wheels!”

I was a little embarrassed about the mis-understanding but I thanked him for the compliment.

Over the last 23 years of training with weights in the gym, I have managed to invest more time in those wheels he was referring to and the other body parts, with the goals of – balance and symmetry in mind. Sculpturing the most proportional physique that my genetic potential would allow. This harmony of the ‘flow-of-muscle’ has helped me represent Australia twice at the World Natural Body-building Championships and placed in the top 4 in consecutive years.

In all this time, I can proudly say that I have managed to stay relatively injury-free and have not seen a physio or chiro in that time for any serious injury. One of the contributing reasons is that how much weight I lift has been close to irrelevant to building my muscles and being considered one of the best natural body-builders in the world. What matters is QUALITY not QUANTITY. I have a ‘safety-first’ approach to training that does not hinder me or my client’s achieving the goals they desire.

I have never allowed the amount of weight I lift to be a critical factor of my progress. What mattered to be me has always been two things:

Control
Feel

If I am not feeling the muscle and am not in control of the weight I am lifting then I am not building muscles in the most effective way. I am not maximizing my muscle growth potential. I always believed that to build good, quality muscle, one has to ‘leave ones’ ego at the door of the gym’.

I have seen it since I started lifting weights all those years ago and I still see it today, sadly, in increasing numbers amongst youth today – people using too much weight.

Aiming to build better wheels by using too much weight for movements like squats is like trying to bench too much, bouncing the bar off your chest and generally with very poor form. Not good at all. Flat Bench pressing with too much weight has been the primary reason that shoulder injuries is the most common injury sustained by men world over.

Not worth it, not good.

Why would you want to do that – overestimate how much weight you can lift or perform countless repetitions of a particular exercise with very bad form and for no particular purpose? Most people unfortunately use a scatter-gun approach to training and hope that what they are doing will get them to their goals.

So, back to my set of wheels analogy story, unless you just happen to have very strong legs and can train with huge poundages easily and copy the mass monsters you see on you-tube, there is just no need to try to squat 600 to 800 pounds.

As with any other body-part, use the appropriate amount of weight for the set/rep scheme you’re using, no more and no less. You need to remind yourself that you’re in the gym to train the muscle, not to impress the people around you with how much weight you can lift.

I have always said you should aim to “work the muscle, not the joint”.

So, it follows that if you’re aiming to build muscle and a more aesthetic, pleasing physique, remember that the actual amount of weight you use is irrelevant. You’re body-building, not power-lifting or weight-lifting or any other modern-day activities that are “off-shoots” of body-building, where measurements and numbers play a pivotal role. Knowing how much weight you can press or how many repetitions you can perform is how millions of weight-training enthusiasts all over the world, injure themselves.

Work on your set of wheels and build them with control and feel, with continuous tension and simplicity. Maximize muscle and minimise risks to knee joints.

Take care of your set of wheels, don’t damage them beyond repair. You don’t want to have to replace your knees and hips too early in your life.

Build your brawn with brain. Remember: You’re in the gym to help yourself, not hurt yourself.

Train hard. Train SMART.

Until next time,

Back lats spread a few weeks prior to the Australian Natural Bodybuilding Titles.
Placing: 2nd in Australia.

A slight variation on the compulsory "Front Double Biceps' bodybuilding pose. With this one ... I'd say you reach for the stars. Contest: 2007 World Natural Bodybuilding Championships held in NY, USA. Ranked: 4th Best Natural Bodybuilder in the World.

A slight variation on the compulsory “Front Double Biceps’ – a signature pose of mine.
Contest: 2007 World Natural Bodybuilding Championships held in NY, USA.
Ranked: 4th Best Natural Bodybuilder in the World.

awareness, choices, courage, Energy, respect, you

If Only.

There is always high emotion when any of us lose a loved one or loved ones. There is an overwhelming sense of sadness and sorrow. All sorts of thoughts run through our minds and one thought I would like to highlight is that of – guilt.

It is inevitable that when we live and love another human-being deeply, we will eventually hurt them in some way, shape or form. We all do and say things we later regret and we know what ‘buttons to push’ to hurt our loved one(s).

There are always ‘ups and downs’ in all relationships and sustaining a relationship you value is a constant building project of loving, hurting and reconciling. I think it is very similar to the process of muscle building – it is a repeated process of destruction, feeding and rest/recovery.

I believe, no one can truly learn to love unless you are willing to accept the risks of hurting and failing and being hurt. When we lose someone in whichever way – death, by choice etc., they all give us reminders. Reminders of those hurts and failings, of words we regret saying, actions we would like to take back and incidences we wish we could erase. Depending on the individual, we all feel a sense of guilt, of varying degrees.

Dealing with guilt can be difficult but there are many resources available today that can assist you. One source I found that has always existed is the bible. Whatever religion you belong to, I am sure you find clarity and fulfilment through its teachings.

I am taking a few minutes out to write this blog on Easter Friday (today). You see, my children’s current perception of Easter is predominantly about – chocolates, eggs, bunnies, fancy hats, hot-cross buns and so forth. It is wonderful and they enjoy the traditional Easter egg hunts. Gee, I get in to it too.

However, I do try to remind them of the real significance of Easter and the crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus Christ, our saviour. They are quite taken aback by the gruesome nature of being nailed to the cross. They have much to learn but all in the right time.

It is during Easter that we should all remember that our Lord and Saviour died and gave his own life for us sinners. This was the ultimate act of forgiveness – sacrificing his only begotten son for us, our salvation. This is what Christians should keep in mind amidst the Easter bunnies and chocolates practises today – Easter Friday.

He then rose to give us new life – freedom!

In this Easter break, reach out to someone you may have hurt in some way, shape or form and try to reconcile, just like God has given us the Lord’s supper to provide us with the strength to reconcile with God.

Don’t let the guilt of ‘if only’ linger in your being, regretting that you should have righted a wrong or forgiven. Release it. Reach out and touch that someone special. Reconcile.

There is a prayer that I remember from my days in my youth as an altar boy and I recall it every now and then when the need arises. I think it is from Psalm somewhere and it goes something along the lines of:

“God, create in me a pure heart and renew in me a steadfast spirit.”

It summons up courage to love again, forgive, reconcile.

Have a blessed Easter!

Until next time,

Working the guns.

action, adaptation, ageing, awareness, Beliefs, body, change, choices, courage, eating, Energy, Fitness, game of life, habits, hope, Imagination, life, long-term perspective, long-term strategy, mind, planning, respect, risk, self-image, truths, Vitality, you

12.5 of Life’s Living Tips to live by.

Checking for tracks on the ground for past visitors?

Love life and life will love you back.

Life Tips – too many to count – that wide.

I am sure by this stage in your life you have come across many health tips and are practising some and have not even considered others for whatever reason.

There is certainly no magic formula to optimum health and fitness but you can make your life a little more liveable by doing a few things a little better.

To improve your overall personal immunity.

What you are today is to some extent the cumulative compound effect of the habits you have decided to make a part of your life. Wonderful, I hope.

I have listed some health and hygiene habits I practise daily and I would like to share them with you. These are only 12.5 tips. I have found these tips to be both true and effective in cultivating outstanding health and fitness habits.

Habits that have added to my life and I am certain will positively add to your life rather than subtract.

Have a read and see if you think it beneficial to your life. It has been to mine so far:

Drink water first thing upon waking with a hint of citrus:
1. Try drinking a glass of water (250 ml) upon waking in the morning. If you can, try squeezing in some lemon and a drop of honey.
2. Drink 1 litre of water per 25 kg of bodyweight. So, a 75 kg person should be drinking a minimum of 3 L of water daily.

Brush your teeth after every meal:
1. If you can, brush once after every meal and once before going to sleep at night. I eat at least 6 times per day and I brush at least 4 times per day.

Eat a balanced diet:
1. Concentrate on a diet of good wholesome food.
2. Try to do without white-based flour products and sugar.

Chew well:
1. Digestion starts in your mouth as you’re well aware.
2. Make it a little easy on your stomach muscles and digestive juices by chewing your food well. Take your time and enjoy the essence of each food you consume.
3. Try not to talk too much while you’re eating and focus on your food more. You should remember that it is not only important to consider quantity and quality of source of your food. You should also ask yourself how well your body is absorbing and assimilating all the food you’re eating.
4. Liken your digestive system to that of a factory. Have you asked yourself how much ‘wastage’ your digestive factory is incurring? How much of the input (food) you’re taking in is actually being used for and by your body? How efficient and effective is your digestive system? Well, you can reduce your ‘wastage’ significantly by simply chewing well or better than you are currently doing.

Apply good moisturiser to your skin after you shower at night:
1. Aim to use a moisturiser that has Vitamin E and soborlene for improve health and elasticity of your skin.
2. Stay away from other combinations.

Get enough fresh air and direct sunlight every day:
1. The health and vitality of you and your body (and mind) needs the sun’s rays. Even if you’re very, very busy at work try and take at least 20 minutes out to get some fresh air and sunlight.
2. Be sure to use a good sunblock too (if you’re fair skinned).
3. For people living in countries with very little sun, it is vital for your vitamin D production, the presence of which is necessary for your immunity against common ailments in addition to other benefits.

Do your plumbing (#2s) in the morning:
1. Try and get in to the habit of ‘sitting on your throne” and excreting your waste in the morning before work or your work out.
2. My children and I refer to this activity as the ‘boom-boom’! Call it what you will, train your body to do its plumbing first thing in the morning.

Keep your mind calm and have a positive attitude:
1. At all times, everyday.
2. Strive to never lose control in all areas of your life.

Make your exercise sessions a pleasure not a burden:
1. Use the hour in the gym as your ‘meditation hour’
2. Your time to work on your internal muscle and external muscles

Train at least three times per week:
1. Weight training in the gym is a must. The benefits to you is a no-brainer!
2. Follow your weights session with 20 to 30 minutes cardio of ‘power-walking’ ( I will elaborate in a future blog about how I do this and why I think this is one of the best forms of cardio you can do now and in to your old age) on a treadmill or outside.

Get adequate rest daily:
1. Make sure you get sufficient sleep every day

12.5 Keep good posture:

At all times – when seated and standing.

There are many more of “Life’s lessons” to live by hence the “12.5” (not exhaustive in any way) tips but these are some simple ones that come to my mind as I write this and could add a little more life in to your years. It could add more vitality to you. Take it as a reminder, a catalyst or whichever way you want.

One of my goals is just to make you more ‘aware’. The rest (action and adaptation) is up to you.

More vitality … better energy … better opportunities …. Better life to you.

Until next time,

Photo op with a local resident and her dog. Lovely.

An old school pose.

adaptation, ageing, body, Energy, game of life, habits, life, long-term perspective, long-term strategy, mind, needs, perspective, respect, self-image, time, truths, Vitality, you

The Fire Within.

Life is short. We all agree on this.

Life is also complex. One of the skills is to make this complexity a little less complex. Simplify the complex. De-clutter. Simplify life. Most of us would agree on this too.

Life is also an exercise in Risk Management. Anyone that thinks otherwise needs to put their thinking hat on for a few minutes. Look back at your life. Look at your life so far to this point. Look at all the decisions you have made either consciously or subconsciously to minimise your life risks. How many?

Many.

I believe one category with high risk to a growing number of human beings today, partly because of the increasing levels of obesity is cardiovascular disease and other stress-related disorders.

As I see it, it is not enough to just eat the right foods and keep cholesterol levels low. It is also not enough to exercise regularly, not enough still, to take regular holidays to ‘get away from it all’.

Nope, not enough.

How can we lower that moderate to high risk of cardiovascular and stress-related diseases? As I see it, to protect ourselves and lower these real Life Risks, we must learn to ‘switch-off’. Like I tell most of my apprentices in the gym and in life, we need to learn to “quiet the mind”.

Easier said than done.

We need to learn how to ‘turn off our engines’ in order to lengthen the effective useful life of our time on this planet. What I mean by this is that we need to switch off our production of the “Fire within”. What Fire Within, you may be asking?

You see, we are many things. One thing I know is that we are not in control of ourselves as much as we think we are. We are hormonal creatures. Because of this, the Fire Within is a term I use for the production of the hormone – “adrenaline”. I also refer to this as the “Energy Hormone”. The hormone that gives you that sense of Vitality. The hormone that is triggered whenever we a faced with a ‘flight or fight’ response to a threat. That fire within needs to be turned off, when no longer needed.

This hormone, this Fire Within needs to be tamed. To be controlled. Better. Many people need to learn to become less dependent on this energy hormone for their everyday living. As a keen observer of human behaviour, I believe that like many other things people struggle with managing, in life – their diets, their money, their insatiable desire for ‘newness’, their constant dis-satisfaction with the old etc, many people do not know how to ‘switch off’ this vital hormone – the giver of vitality or life and also – THE TAKER!

Not turning the Fire Within OFF, allows emotions such as anger, frustration, irritation, challenge and excitement trigger this energy hormone: adrenaline. I see many people incapable of managing these psychological triggers of this deadly hormone. Incapable of bringing this hormone under control. They let these emotions get the better of them.

Effective stress management is what is needed. Some rules of the brain to consider –

Step 1: Quiet the Mind.

Step 2: Repeat to Remember.

Step 3: Remember to Repeat.

Effective stress management requires that we be healthy in mind and spirit, not just in our physical bodies. What I am talking about here when I refer to effective stress management, it is to “quiet the mind …. And spirit”. This is what will truly allow you to manage one of your life’s greatest risks: adrenalin mis-management.

Eating well and exercising is not enough.

Many individuals seek adrenalin ‘highs’ and seek increasing levels of excitement and joy to enjoy the thrill of challenge. They never seem to get enough. Constantly seeking more and more different ways to experience the adrenalin rush. I believe these people may find it much more difficult to manage adrenalin which could likely increase their life risks.

Ask yourself: are you one of these types of people?

Like any surfer would know, you cannot keep riding the peak of the wave forever as there will always be a trough. A low point. Adrenaline “junkies” need to train and re-train themselves to experience life without the constant novel stimulation. They need to come down from the “mountain-tops” and enjoy the peace and calmness of the valley. This is where true rest and recuperation/re-charging and healing can occur.

Please do.

Your life depends on it more than you think. Turn off the Fire Within.

The hustle and bustle and frantic pace of modern living does not allow us the luxury of natural recovery. We are robbed of it. This comes at a cost: an ever-increasing state of mental diseases or stress-related diseases. A costly price to pay for not managing the energy hormone, better.

Because of this theft brought on us by modern-day living, we find ourselves planning these ‘vacations or holidays’ in to our lives, through deliberate design. But, you cannot escape YOU – you cannot run away from your mind.

Even Jesus Christ, the greatest psychologist that ever lived, thought it was very important, too. Rest, that is. There is a passage in the bible where he did request of his disciples to follow him to a quiet place and get some rest (somewhere in Mark gospel, I think).

Think about it: Jesus Christ thought it was necessary all those years ago.

Now, from a Christian – religious point-of-view, if Jesus Christ thought it was necessary for him and his disciples to periodically get some rest, then, who are we to think we can exist without it?

Practice switching off the Fire Within before the flames burn out your life before your time.

Pour some water to put out those flames. From time to time.

Don’t just treat the symptom (vacations/holidays). Focus on treating the cause: Quietening your mind. And spirit.

Longer, better quality life to you.

Until next time,

a better life, abdominals, action, adaptation, attitude, awareness, balance, better choices, body, Body shape, caring, change management, choices, decisions, diet, eating, Energy, examined life, Fitness, game of life, Goals, habit, habits, happiness, Imagination, life, long-term perspective, long-term strategy, mind, muscles, needs, perseverance, perspective, planning, respect, self, self improvement, self-respect, synergy, you, your life

Eating right actually takes less time than you think. Tip #1 in my Top 8.5 Tips to Eating RIGHT.

Save you, life

Yes, you read that correctly.

In my experience, eating right can actually save you time. Save you, life.

It is winter in this part of the world (I’m live in the beautiful city of Sydney, Australia). Stop, project less than 12 weeks from now, when the next season arrives – ahhh, Spring. Picture this: people are getting out their spring/summer clothes from the cupboards and are feeling a little down because they can’t squeeze in to them like they remembered they did last year. It can be quite de-motivating for some.

Maybe , you’re in that spot of bother right now?

In this first blog of an 8.5 Reasons why Eating RIGHT should not take too much of your time.

My Tip # 1: Never Skip Breakfast!

In one of my earlier blogs, I state that imagination is key to the achievement of any worthwhile goal or goal you place value on . So, if achieving a more sculptured (tonned body) is what you desire you need to learn to use your imagination.

Yes, use your imagination to visualize (now) how you would like to look by summer. This is a very important step – ‘seeing’ yourself as you imagine yourself to be. Having a clear understanding of your destination (refer to earlier blog: “Don’t be a rudderless ship”).

The more vivid the picture of your destination is in your mind and the more it connects with your heart, the more drive and focus you will muster.

Champions practise a lot of visualisation and simulation.
To create magic, you need to fuse the worlds of sanity (where you are) with insanity (where you dream/imagine you are, before you are).
That is difficult.
That is one of the key keys.
Don’t stop. Trying. Believing.
Keep on … keeping on. You’ll get there. Everyone always does.
Especially, if you do it with your heart. and ….
with LOVE.

And, with the help of “Coach Mo” (incidentally, that little voice on your shoulder, we can call Coach “Mo”) to start your steam train again …. Hoot … hoot … slowly towards your goal). Just like a steam-train, getting started in your body transformation goals, getting those wheels cranking at the beginning of the journey is the difficult part.

But when you pick up [Mo]mentum (Coach Mo), you, just like that steam train can smash through whatever obstacles that lay in your path. To smithereens! Because you have Big Mo (momentum) on your side.

Here we go again.

Its easy to put off things, to procrastinate. Don’t. Don’t leave it for September, it will be too late. That’s when the majority of people start panicking and joining gyms. Start now. Find your plan (or get help from the relevant professional) and work your plan. You don’t want Spring and then Summer time and Christmas to roll around and you not feel happy about the way you look in you clothes, now, do you? Or you can just buy bigger clothes to hide it all.

Up to you.

You’re the Captain of your ship through the seas of Life.
Set you goal towards being your BEST and put a quality plan in place (includes your health & overall well-being) and set sail …
Towards your destination.

Making better use of the 86,400 seconds given to us every day

I have said this before: no matter what your exercise goals are, eating healthy (well-compositioned meals), can help you achieve them faster.

And right now, time is ticking and time is your friend as we have just started Winter and have a little under 10 weeks to Spring. But, the question you’re probably thinking is how are you supposed to spend time preparing healthier meals. You barely have enough time to hit the weights, how are you realistically supposed to find time to watch what hits your plate? Right, I hear you …. that is why I wrote this blog to convince you to help you, help yourself more effectively.

Eating right is actually easier than you think.

How so?

Well, in my more than two decades in the health and fitness industry and helping hundreds of people around the world. It is one truth I have discovered. They have learned that, too. You can save more of your life. Here’s how …

I believe that spending a few minutes a day making the right decisions about your nutrition could save you from spending twice the time in the gym or four times as much time on the treadmill or aerobics. How so, Paul, you may be asking? I don’t have the time, you may say!

We have 86,400 seconds in a day. Agreed.

I argue that it typically takes less time to prepare a healthier meal than it does to work off the extra calories you would eat if you didn’t spend time watching your diet.Makes sense? Yes, it does!

Think about it.

You have 86,400 seconds of your life everyday to live, the way you choose to. But, my question is why would you spend more of those seconds sweating and exercising (and for many enthusiasts doing group classes – smelling intense body odour in small bacteria-infested rooms).

I pity these folks and their poor, poor nostrils. If you do like it, God bless you. Applying my tips could mean you spend less time doing those classes. Smelling those arm-pits. That would be good for you and your nostrils, wouldn’t it? Also, I see so many people lining up outside cafes and stressing about what they are going to have for lunch. How about I say, we take that wastage of time and thought pattern with my tip here?

Achieving a well-balanced physique should be understood for what it is: a masterful fusion of art and science.
One should improve once’s “BODY Smart”knowledge. this takes time and deliberate practise.

Your daily eating habits

Ok, it isn’t always easy predicting how much time you’re going to have each day to pay attention to your nutritional habits. It isn’t easy. I realise that. Still, there is a smarter way you can make sure you’re getting the most from what ever number of seconds you can use each day.

What if I told you that there are ways to change your daily eating habits without making major sacrifices in your diet. What are you thinking now? For many people, they have tried everything, and ‘nothing works’ is a common frustration. What if I told you that these changes are very real and can be implemented in to your “all-day” eating routine. And the great thing is that you could implement these changes anytime you wanted to?

In the next series of blogs, I will be sharing with you my top 8.5 tips to successfully making changes to your daily eating habits with sustainability in mind. Changes that you can sustain forever. These Valentine Top 8.5 Tips only takes a few hundred seconds (a few minutes) to master, but I believe, when implemented, they can take months of unnecessary hard work off your schedule, provided you follow them each day.

This is the real challenge for you: Unlearning old habits that are not aligned with your new, ‘imagined self’ and learning these new habits, my Top 10 tips. Successful change is and can only be brought about through improvement in your self-regulatory behaviour . This is heavily dependent on the power of your imagination.

Changing habits – releasing bad eating habits and adopting some good ones is like facing an internal Predator. You need to ‘face the Lion’ within you.
Having a conversation with a lion.

Spring/Summer/Christmas?New Year, here you come – You, only better!

How much time do you have a day to apply these tips?

How much time can you spare? Can you spare 30 minutes in your day or 1800 seconds of your 86,400 seconds? We will do a little maths exercise and count the amount of time each of these tips will take out of your day, starting with Tip # 1 in this blog. Doing all 8.5 of my tips would take less than 30 minutes tops each day. Yet they can give you everything you need to maintain a balanced diet. That’s not much time, is it?

Can you allocate that time to YOU? Simply because your life is important and you would like to do everything you can to not only add years to your life but more importantly, add Life in to your years.

It’s going to save you spending your valuable life, your valuable seconds, thinking and exercising unnecessarily to undo what you unknowingly – did in the first place!

How good is that?!

These tips are not meant to create more stress in your life, it is meant to help make your life a bit more manageable, a little less stressful, when it comes to eating a balanced diet with sustainability in mind. It is about making the best of whatever time you have. Allow me to show you how.

My Top 8.5 Tips will cover all main meals – breakfast, lunch and dinner and snacks in-between. We will begin with the first meal of the day – breakfast. So, I will go through your day, from sunrise to sun-set and piece together a sustainable, efficient and effective schedule for melting off fat, building muscle and having increased daily energy towards reshaping your body, not tomorrow or next week.

Right now.

Spring/Summer/Christmas/New Year’s here you come. You – only better!

Sunrise – you rise.

Education through a perception of the truth.
Increasing your awareness, taking sufficient and appropriate actions and adapting accordingly is key towards self-improvement.
Funny thing is that the process also applies to relationships and response. In the photo, Former Australian Wallaby Captain listening intently to learn key principles of my philosophy in to being your BEST, ALL the time, not some of the time. Great student. Great Champion. Great friend.
Vv

Tip #1: DO NOT Skip Breakfast.

It should consist of a mix of the 3 basic macro-nutrients: carbohydrates (oats), protein (eggs – 3 eggs/1 yolk) and a little fat (avocado, peanut butter, almonds).

Estimated time spent: < 5 minutes.

Why not skip Breakfast, you may be thinking?

It is one of the best advice our parents and grandparents have given us when we were children. Missing this very important meal creates more hunger later on and increases your risk of ‘bingeing’ and taking in more calories than you truly need in later meals. With no food in your stomach, your body’s response is to take in whatever calories you ate the night before – and whatever you eat later on and … bingeing at lunch and like many reading this – at dinner. Just before bed.

Result? Guess what? All these ‘extras’ TURNS INTO UNWANTED BODY FAT!

Yes, around the gut ( as some call a ‘spare tyre’) for most men out there after they turn 30 and deposits around the butt and legs for the ladies. Very de-motivating indeed. Not exactly what you want, is it?

So, I insist, make this first tip if you’re skipping breakfast a part of you life. Make it your first habit to master: take 4 minutes when you wake up and eat a meal for breakfast but make sure that it combines all macro-nutrients. You will get sustainable energy all day long and lower your desire for extra calories from other food to provide energy later.

This is a very good rule of thumb you should apply for every meal during your day. Ask yourself – do I have a good mix of carbs, protein and a little fat.

Use what I’ve told all my past customers – my “eyeball method” or ‘I see with my two eyes’ method. Look at your plate, ensure the macro-nutrients take up space on the plate in this ratio:

P:C:F = 0.4:0.5: 0.10. ( where P = Protein; C = Carbohydrates; F = Fats)

Steve Reeves was a Master Poser. He imagined and built the Best Built & Aesthetically beautiful body in the world through synergistic awareness.
He understood that optimum health of body & mind required the fusion of art and science.
Become a scientific artist of YOU … of your life.

Homework: Lets keep adding the time needed to apply each tip I share in successive blogs and see if it requires you to spend less than half an hour of your day.

Let me prove to you using numbers (minutes spent) that Eating right actually takes less time than you think over the next month or so. Let you in on a secret: I love Physics and Mathematics. They were my first majors in my first University Degree almost 30 years ago now.

Let me show you how these little but significant 8.5 Tips can and will encourage an optimum environment that is a fusion of art and science, allowing for Synergy. This synergism is KEY: it is in the combining of the elements that creates a whole that is greater than the sum of its parts.

This is where you create your miracle, your magic within.

You’re now Aware. Apply Action. Adapt accordingly.

Repeat. Make it habit. Make this one change. Repeatedly, with enhanced self-regulatory behavioural change. Repeat.

Believe.

My triple A approach to the development of Self.

Ahoy & all the very BEST… allow me to guide you through my Top 8.5 Tips over the next few weeks.

Cheers & ahoy!

The old Captain Viking Pirate …. & Life Tips

adaptation, Beliefs, courage, dreams, Energy, faith, Goals, hope, Imagination, life, long-term perspective, mind, perseverance, respect, time, you

Why Not?

Relaxed.

I love my children.

I love spending as much time as I can with each of them – Olivia and Zachary. I am very fortunate that in this phase of my life I am able to do just that.

Give them my time – my life. Just like other dads do, too.

Olivia, Zachary and I love doing many activities together. Building things using leggos is one such activity. My son teams up with me and we construct, bust down, re-build and re-construct the best castles we can dream up with the limited pieces of leggo pieces we have. Olivia is a champion builder now. Better than me already. They both are. She’s so good, that her constructions are very elaborate and above all – ‘stable’. That’s her thing – it has to be stable.

“Dad, she says, a castle is better to be stable than just pretty, aye dad?”

“Uhumm … yep, to some extent, that is true. You don’t want strong winds to blow it away now, do we? Like most important things in life, we need strong foundations. We all need to have our rocks in life.”

I try my best to encourage them to use their imagination and play ‘pretend’ games. Even though there is a limit to how many leggos they have, each time we build, they create something new. No creation is ever the same.

And when run out of leggo pieces, my daughter asks what else. I say lets pretend even more. Olivia gets so excited and so does Zachary. I start it off by saying ..

“Just pretend … that your castle has wings …. Large wings and it can fly …. Fly up in the sky and the wings are so large that the castle can take us all in it .. and …

My daughter interrupts me and then asks “But dad, castles can’t have wings, can they?”

I thought about what she said and I wanted to tell her the truth but I thought that a little un-truth, a little lie would be the best thing for her and her brother right now. I wanted them to continue their ‘make-belief’ world. Heck, if I had one wish I would want their ‘pretend world’ to not come to an end.

Let them run wild and far with their imagination. Keep dreaming. See what they come up with. Encourage them to ‘see’ what others cannot, what I can’t.

With no restraints. No rules. Their world where anything is possible. Where castles have wings … large wings. Enough to carry mum and dad and them away in to the skies. Forever.

I told her that her castle can have wings. Anything she wanted would be given to her. Any power she wanted. Anything she imagined, no matter how ridiculous it may be, would be granted. There were no rules. No one to tell her what could and could not be done. She was the boss. The creator.

Olivia stopped me again and said: “but dad, castles can’t have wings?”

I told her “why not, Olivia. Why can’t Castle’s have wings? I told her not to just ask “Why?” but also consider “Why not?” and then her story-telling of her make-belief world started flying. She imagined all sorts of things. All sorts of possibilities. I was in heaven just listening. Listening to their debates. Their possibilities.

Wow, I enjoy the storytelling my kids share with me!

She didn’t argue with my lie. Only I knew, that I lied. A lie that castles had wings.

But that lie was enough for her to continue her dreaming, her storytelling. Her ‘pretend-world’. I thought telling her a little lie was better than telling her the truth. She will eventually find out the truth but in her time. In her time.

They can find out other little small lies society tells them as they journey through their lives. But, in their time. Things like Santa Clause. Like the Tooth Fairy. Like the Easter Bunny.

These little lies (and there are many in life) are important to every child. Every person who was once a child. It encourages their imagination to run wild. It gets them to question possibilities. It gets them to not just ask “why?” but instead to also ask “why not?”.

Why not? Why not create a castle with wings? Why not travel to the moon? Why not be a better you? Why not make a more fuel-efficient car? Why not choose to eat a healthier meal option just because you respect and love yourself a little bit more today than you did yesterday? Why not go to sleep early tonight and say no to a ‘big night out”? Why not strive to be a better person from this hour forth? Why not make time to go to the gym at least twice a week? Why not take care of your beautiful self better?

Why not, not why?

Look back at your life. The way I see it, it seems that up until six years old, we get lots of encouragement. But by the time we reach our teens, we get discouragement from everyone and everything we experience in life. By the time most of us kids get to working life, young adults appear to have been drained of courage and have lost most of their enthusiasm – that sparkle that allows a person to choose to adopt positive thinking everyday.

Why?

I believe one of the reasons is that not enough of us humans are asking ourselves “why not?”. A lot of people have lost belief in striving for a better life. A better self. They have lost belief in themselves. Enthusiasm and courage has been sucked out of them.

Also, partly because they’ve stopped asking themselves “why not?”

Its not too late people. Its not too late to do something about it. Its not too late to try to lose ten or so kilos. Why not? Its never too late to start dreaming again. Its never too late to start believing in yourself again. Why not try harder? Why not keep going? I’ve seen it with the very old and the young alike. That is the only thing that gives you hope:

Believing in a dream … make it your dream … to believe in the question of telling you and asking yourself the question of “why not” …. Be your BEST you can be – for yourself and … while you’re on a roll, why not be the BEST YOU CAN BE for others too!”.

Don’t wait for the perfect moment when all is safe and assured. It may never arrive. Mountains will not be climbed. Walking on the moon may never have happened. Don’t allow fear to make you quit. Never quit on life. You’ve got to win over yourself. Never settle for defeat. Never stop striving to being the best you can be, in every sense of the word.

Have you hitched your wagon to a star? Why not?

It seems that there is a philosophical movement that exists that associates drive and initiative solely with materialistic power and gain. There appears to be an ever-growing obsession focused on the accumulation of non-essential personal possessions.

This should not be confused, I think, with personal achievement and the pursuit of individual excellence. Disregarding all material gain, I believe there is a pure personal pleasure which comes from achieving the difficult or the unusual. Whatever it is that it is.

The magic rests in everyone of us. Yes, it rests in you too. The enduring power that has moved you and will move you, again, comes from inside. Yes, inside you.

Success is not just reserved for the talented. It is not in the high I.Q. Not in the gifted birth. Not in the best equipment and technology. Not even in ability.

Success in anything, I believe is hugely dependent upon drive, focus and persistence. The extra energy required to make an extra effort – to go the ‘extra mile’ – to try another approach – to ask ‘why not” do something a little bit different, a little bit smarter – to concentrate on the desired outcome – is, I believe, the secret to achievement. To win, in your unique journey through life.

The magic is this: ATTITUDE.

A wise man once said: “Its your attitude, not your aptitude that determines your altitude in life”.

Apply. Adapt accordingly.

See how the next four decades pan out for you. Choose well.

And when you start dreaming again, you might as well dream BIG. It takes the same amount of focus!

As another wise person once said: “Make no little plans: they have no magic to stir your blood to action – instead make big plans, aim high in work and hope.”

Ask yourself – “Why not?”

Until next time,

Changing lives. Empowering people. One life at a time.

Triple A to Life: Awareness. Action. Adaptation.

Category Archives: respect

Real Love for The Real Man.

The Simple-Complex Man.

Daddies … and Daughters.

Top 3 Keys to a successful workout. Key #2: Elegance.

Take care of your “set of wheels”.

If Only.

12.5 of Life’s Living Tips to live by.

The Fire Within.

Eating right actually takes less time than you think. Tip #1 in my Top 8.5 Tips to Eating RIGHT.

Why Not?