Training in my Old School Gym adopting Old School Training techniques with a modern twist. Know the basics. Apply the basics. Adapt to the basics. Keep it simple and keep it continuous. Its the most efficient, most effective and safe approach to building a muscular physique in the gym. Find a gym with minimum distraction if you desire results. Focus! Paul.
Time will tell what truth our children search foratvel
Marvel at the intelligence behind their thinking
We (my wife and I) play a game with our children we call “I spy with my little eyes” whenever we’re sitting for any length of time. It could be anywhere but mostly when we’re in the car. The kids enjoy it. I mainly like the game because it teaches my kids to be in the ‘present’ and helps increase their awareness of their external environment.
It also challenges them to compete and think. I sit back and marvel at the intelligence behind their thinking and how fast they embrace change.
My daughter is getting quite good at playing the game now and is thinking of ways to make the guessing harder. She dislikes losing but I try and remind her that tasting defeat and failure teaches you to appreciate success and winning, when it happens.
“And it does happen” I tell her.
“Patience is key”.
My kids watching my wife exercising (doing Deadlifts) in the gym… They’re learning about how strong their mother is … and the importance of healthy lifestyle choices
Roller-coaster of life
She has not fully understood the idea of the virtues of patience yet but she is responding to losing much better now than she used to. She is not afraid to have another go. She is slowly learning to face her fear of failure, of losing. A very important lesson to understand in the roller-coaster of life.
This time, with a little more care. With experience, comes smarts.
So, using the scooter analogy, I tell her that when she loses a game of “I Spy with my little eyes’ to dad – to me, or her mother she needs to firstly, accept the loss graciously, learn from it and then ….
… try again!
She does. And she is now winning more games then she is losing and has learned to respond to losing more positively.
Very soon, she will win all the games I play against her. One day in the future, she may remind me of the importance of accepting a loss and being gracious in defeat. I look forward to that day. It will remind me that I will be in another phase of my life and also that we’re all never too old to be reminded of life’s lessons.
Enjoy a swim … enjoying regular Family Time is critical to strong 💪 foundation of character
Re-set our personal GPS
It helps to re-set our personal GPS (Goals) for Life if we have gone off course a little.
What is your GPS for Life like? Does it need re-calibrating? Don’t be afraid to do so. Its never too late to re-align your GPS for your Life just like we do when we refer to maps on our phones when we need direction. It never too late just like you’re never too old to join a gym and start lifting weights towards a better YOU.
A small change in direction may result in a huge change in where you end up at the end of your life just like a miniscule difference of 1 nautical degree could change a ship’s destination point by tens of kilometers. Don’t just use your eyes to see what’s in front of you, use your eyes (through imagination) to see what is not there yet.
Desire it. Feel it in your heart.
Reflect. Take some time out to reflect on your life these holidays, in all areas in the sphere of your life – relationships, family, career, financial, spiritual, physical. If you’re waiting to add it to your list of resolutions in the New Year, great!
Reflect on the falls you have had (and lets be honest, we all have had some to date). Take the lessons. Learn how to fall better in the future. Have no fear. Have no doubt. Each fall leads you closer to a better result.
Re-set your GPS, we all need to do so every so often as we journey through life. The New Year is a great time to do so – to catalyze and crystallize your GPS as you work towards a better you.
A better life.
Be safe this festive season and a prosperous 2015 to you!
Until next time …
foundations of a gritty strong character Begins in the Family … in the home …
My children striking their version of one of the seven compulsory poses in bodybuilding – the “Front-double biceps” pose. … and strike!
It is a simple word that encompasses so much. I love it because it allows you to dream and imagine, imagine a better you, a better street, a better community, a better suburb, a better state, a better country and a better world.
Hope inspires every believer to be more. To give more to life. To live more life in their years. To give more to the lives of others.
However, it seems that all acts of hope can open up people to ridicule because it can be seen as unreal – impractical. Many think of hope as nothing more than wishing, because it does not exist in the physical realm. Because people cannot ‘see’ it, they believe it does not exist. The funny thing is that I believe that we all want things we think are impossible but most have better sense than to spend any money or commit their lives to them.
You see hope is the reality that already ‘is’ before it actually happens. Hope allows people to ‘connect’ and communicate with God and commit to actions to fulfill their dream. The thing is that God will meet them half way …
In today’s world where there is a lot of decay, the only practical action is to have ‘hope’. This is the only true way of being really practical but it is very difficult. It is very difficult in today’s world because many societies are impractical. Many do not believe in wishful thinking.
If we are to truly live in hope than we need to be impractical. People who are hopeful commit themselves to hope-envisioned actions which are frequently in opposition to the actions of peers.
It takes courage to live and act in hope. It is however, the only practical action as it is the only action that escapes the scrapheap of yesterday’s trends and overcomes the decay of the moment. It is the only action that moves everyone past anger, hurt, guilt, sadness, selfishness and all other examples of decay of the moment.
It is the only action that survives unspeakable crimes to you, to me, to our families, to our communities, to our nation and to our world.
So, clench your fist, grab life by the horns and give it your best go.
Lets all unite and give hope (wishful thinking) and hope-envisioned actions a try – for a better life.
After 23 years of gym training, I would define my best workouts as what the subject heading states.
The best workouts are the ones that ‘flow’. It is the fusion or culmination of chaos and structure.
You want your workouts to be a continuous progression of 15 to 60 second ‘focused moments’ within a rough plan. Chaos and structure fused together. You want a workout to hang together like a champion team with many muscle parts moving along cohesively as ‘one’ with one objective.
So, how do you make your workouts more orderly and have structure? How do you go from the myriad of workout possibilities and the chaos of research and conception to the necessary order of the actual workout? How do you choose between low reps or high reps? Which is better? Should you use heavy weights or moderate weights or feather weights? How long should you rest between sets? So many questions, so many answers.
Its neither in the questions nor the answers. Its in the intention. Your intention.
It can all get quite confusing and overwhelming, so much so that it would stop well-intentioned beginners in their tracks enough to quit even before they get started. Very sad indeed. They have so much information, most of which contradicts one another and so it leaves them with a feeling of not knowing where to start.
What I have always tried to do in almost all areas of my life is to manage my funnels better, to keep things simple. This includes my approach to my gym training. Keep this in mind.
In other words I try to arrive at my completed workout (in my mind) before I begin it.
I always have a ‘rough plan’ in mind. Here, a rough plan is like the scaffolding of a non-existing building, its there and provides structure and a bit of security but I don’t usually stick to it like glue. Nope, most of the time I do something completely different.
So, I have a rough plan – but I don’t stick to it!
“Why have a plan?” you may be thinking.
Well, I have found over the years that a rough plan will serve you better than an elaborate one or none at all when it comes to getting the best experience and results from workouts. You see, workouts generally have a way of making itself up as you go along due to the many variables you are faced with when you are in the gym within a rough plan.
Some variables you may likely experience is fluctuating energy levels, unavailability of machines, lack of focus, lack of sleep, rude patrons and so on.
2. Know what your goals are: be specific and then stick to it!
Whilst a rough plan is ideal, knowing what your specific training goals are is critical and will serve you much better than a general, loose one. You need to know what it is you’re trying to achieve before you go lift any kind of weights. What are you striving for – strength, power, endurance, better shapely physique? For example, if you want to train for strength then training like a marathon runner in the gym will highly likely end in disappointment.
Know where you stand and where you mean to go and be very clear about it. A workout is also not meant to be a walk in the park or sleep walk!
3. Dream it before you lift it.
Workouts are usually more enjoyable and shorter when its been thought through first. That is what I have concluded in my over two decades of deliberate practice of contracting and extending skeletal muscles in my entire body.
I ask myself questions – what am I trying to do here with this set of this particular exercise? What am I trying to achieve? How well am I doing each rep of each set of each exercise? What am I trying to feel after doing it? What am I looking for? Unless you’ve got answers to those questions, you’d better keep your hands away from those weights or don’t rush in to it or you may increase your risk of injuries. Better still, seek help from a suitably experienced professional.
Whilst training goals and a rough plan gives you structure and order the danger is that you can spend all your time planning and doing nothing. The truth is we discover weight training through training. Its that simple. You do your hardest training doing the training, the actual physical lifting – not in your mind.
A workout process gives you that sense of achievement at its completion among other things. Out of the process of its own unraveling. Out of the process itself chaotic – the thinking of the sets of the exercises and the order of the exercises that make up each workout and then the execution of the actual physical workout.
.. the road ahead ..
It is through trial and error and deliberate practice over time that a genuine gym enthusiast discovers what it is he or she is really trying to achieve and how he or she needs to bind it together in some order – some framework. He finds his or her muscle success formula.
You may find you asking yourself how each set you doing of a particular exercise contributes to your physical goal. I know I have always done so and still do.
If you’re diligent enough you may find yourself getting to the end of each set doing it rhythmically, economically and competently and moving progressively towards your specific goals. This is ideal.
You may find yourself feeling one of the best feelings you could feel in your lifetime, a feeling that only a few gym enthusiasts feel. I have trained people that have trained for over 30 years and have not felt this feeling.
This is a feeling that is as elusive as the Tasmanian tiger. You see anyone can lift weights but not many people get to learn to lift weights the right way and really ‘feel’ what you’re meant to feel in the worked muscle and your whole body. All my clients past and present feel it in their workouts. Its a gift from me to them.
A feeling that all bodybuilders refer to as the ‘pump’.
A feeling that I call the ‘essence’. A feeling that is climaxed through the ideal reps of the ideal set which makes for the best workout – the fusion of chaos and structure in and out of the gym. Its almost like daily living in some ways.
… but that essence ain’t vanilla essence!
You friend in muscle and body transformation success,
I’ve always believed no experience in life is ‘bad experience’, in absolute terms. Even bad or unfortunate experiences. There is always something you can take away from it. Something you can learn. Something that would add value to your life in the future or possibly now, however small it may be.
I also believe that life is too short to try to get your experience with everything ‘first-hand’. It is better to learn from the experience of others. Seek appropriate coaches. Relevant mentors. If you’re lucky enough to. You could certainly cut the learning curve by a significant amount in anything you set out to accomplish. You don’t have all the time in the world. You could save time. Save your life for more important choices.
Save – you, perhaps?
When my daughter, Olivia, was old enough to hold a colour pencil in her hand she enjoyed drawing on paper, cardboard. Everything really. Scribbling everywhere and anywhere, with no structure.
No boundaries. No beginning, no end. In her young brain, she thought she was doing it – right. That’s all she knew, with regards to colouring, at that point in time.
One day, I decided I would get her to colour in pictures a little bit better. To change her perception of what she thought she was doing right. I felt I had to teach her the ‘basics’ of colouring. But, what was the basics of colouring?
I thought about the final output (a coloured-in picture) and what colouring was made up of. It was obvious. It was an accumulation of closely set straight lines. So, that was it: a straight line. I had to teach my daughter how to:
1. draw a straight line
2. become better at drawing a straight line
I mentioned this to my wife, and she had some reservations about what I wanted to achieve. I sat down at the table like I normally do with my children and said “Olivia, I would like you to focus on one thing only today, when we draw”.
She said “what dad?”
I replied: “I would like you to just draw lines”.
“Just lines?” she queried.
“Yes. Just lines”, I said.
So, I drew an outline of a square on a blank A4 paper. I then proceeded to show her the fundamentals of getting the best possible result from colouring. I said, firstly, lets:
1. Sit up straight with proper posture.
2. Must be comfortable with balance.
3. Relaxed and focused.
I drew a line from one end of the square outline to the other. Then did another line. And repeated, and repeated and repeated. Until the whole square outline was a shaded in square. I told her how the repeated start and stop of a straight line creates colour, texture.
The object (the square) was now ‘coloured-in’.
I told her how it was important to learn how to draw a straight line and be clear on where the start and stop of the line begins and ends. That, just like in many things in life, a picture or drawing may have boundaries. She needed to be aware of them and stay within them.
Also, that if she practiced drawing a defined straight line – repeatedly, she would become better at colouring-in.
She was excited. Excited about the challenge.
I drew her several shapes to colour in with straight lines – another square, a circle and a triangle.
I then asked her to try drawing the straight lines as I had just done. To fill in the shapes. One by one, she did. Tentative at first and unsure of its correctness, she made those first few lines. I kept encouraging her to keep going. She was a little afraid to get it wrong.
I told her not to be afraid. That it was ok to get it wrong. I told her to aim to ‘stay within the line’ of the square, circle and triangle. She needed to focus on ‘filling in the gaps’.
She got it wrong. Again and again and again.
She threw hands up in frustration and stormed away. A few times. I sat there and asked her back. “Lets try again, sweetie. You’re getting better. Its ok to do it wrong. You need to do it wrong to learn to do it right”.
She returned. She did. Multiple times. She did learn to do it right.
It seems this is the same for most endeavours in life requiring skill. Talent alone is not enough. Learning the basics. Repeating perfect technique with deliberate practice builds up to something others may refer to as genius in a particular area.
For example, a rugby player that does not practice basic skills such as catching and passing will not get very far. A violinist that does not practice the basics of her instrument, with deliberate structure and purpose won’t get to the next level. A gym enthusiast that does not learn proper exercise techniques of the basic exercises in the gym would highly likely not get the results he or she desires and increase risks of injuries.
Olivia is a champion colouring in kid, now. She colours in with the skill level of kids far beyond her current age. She is very proud of the pictures she very astutely does. I am very proud of the work she does too.
She wasn’t afraid to do it wrong to learn to do it right. She faced her fear of getting it wrong.
That’s my definition of courage. Facing fear, no matter how small it is.
She got past her frustration. She put in the work. She deliberately practiced those lines. She did the basics, in this case – she learned how to draw a straight line, better than she had ever done before, not some of the times, but all the time. She accepted that ‘close enough’ is ‘not good enough’.
She learned to let go of the ‘almost right’ line to make room for the ‘better line’. Just like in life, some of us have to learn to say ‘no’ to the good to be able to say ‘yes’ to the best.
So, dear readers, remember, when things in life get a little bit more complicated and overwhelming, like it usually does, learn to keep it simple.
What do I mean by this? Well, ask yourself what are the ‘basics’ of the situation/task at hand? Then:
Whichever area of life it is. Become the best you can be at the basics. The compound effect of the basics, executed excellently, in any area of life produces the best work. The best ideas. The best innovation. The best sporting teams. The best businesses. The best of everything.
You can go further … become the best you can be at the ‘basics of life’. Smile more. Say ‘hello’ more. Laugh more. Give more. Love more. You can identify many others.
Once again, don’t be afraid to do it wrong to learn to do it right and never be afraid to ask for help. From someone who ‘has been there’ and ‘done that’.
Then, ask yourself how much of your 86,400 seconds of your daily life do you put aside to become better at the ‘business of LIFE’? That’s right – the business of becoming a better human being – a better YOU. I’m not referring to your work or your business. Or your profession.
Front double-biceps with Olivia and Zachary for the camera.
Family Traditions
My family and I enjoy eating Japanese Sushi. We have it once a week.
It is part of one of our young family evolving traditions – eating out at this point in our lives. My kids enjoy kids tuna and rice sushi pieces and my wife normally digs in to whole larger versions of the sushi roll. She specifically requests for the “Inside-out Roll” with either tuna/avocado or salmon/avocado.
I normally have one or two of these Inside-Out Sushi Rolls in addition to fresh or cooked garlic prawns with a touch of seaweed. Delicious. A weekly treat for the Valentine’s in this phase of our lives.
The inside-out roll got me thinking about life.
How it could symbolise one of the important lessons of life, relating to change and that to change any worthwhile aspect of our life, as part of our self-growth, we need to turn ‘inside-out’.
Just like that sushi roll.
We need to turn ‘within’ to live, happily, without. I have to make a qualification though – you adopt the 80-20 rule ” or principle”, with regards to letting go of things or comforts of life, depending on where and how you choose to live.
To make any change to ourselves, we need to turn ‘inside-out’, to change within to change without.
Eliminate and de-clutter the ‘noise’ that has been uploaded in to your brain since the cradle
Yes, you can make superficial small changes on the surface, but in order to make significant changes and sustain them, you cannot just trim the edges of the bushes. You cannot just rake the leaves off the ground under the tree. The leaves which represent attitude and behaviour.
Nope, you cannot just focus on the ten percent of the ice-berg that you see above water and do some ‘band-aid’ quick-fix personality technique.
Nope, not good enough!
For sustainable change to a significant area in your life, you need to dig at the roots of the tree. You need to work on the ninety percent of the ice-berg that is under the water. You need to get at the cause. You need to get to your belief systems, to become more aware of your fundamentals. Your philosophy of your life so far.
You need to understand YOU better and understand the philosophy or paradigm you adhere to that defines your character at this point in time. Your being. And the lens through which you see the world outside.
It is quite obvious that if we want to make relatively smaller, insignificant changes in our lives, we can perhaps appropriately focus on our attitudes and behaviours. However, if we want to make significant, quantum change, we NEED TO WORK ON OUR PHILOSOPHY. Our basic paradigm.
This is how change, sustainable significant change, can only come about successfully by working on yourself from the inside-out, just like that tasty inside-out sushi roll.
So, what can you do to make change happen that could have a positive and possibly significant impact on your life?
Just like muscle growth, patience is key. So, to change the world, change within. Change is essential to life. If you’re not changing, you’re not living. With change, one is forced to consider adapting.
It is in the process of adaptation, that one appreciates growth (with muscle growth and also with life growth). Changing within to live without, allows for growth. A worked muscle is usually a little ‘tender’ the next day or two. Implementing change inside-out leads to muscle growth, leads to self-growth.
Just like muscle growth, self-growth is tender, a little precious even. Work on it. Persist. Build change from within. Then, preserve it.
Sustainable Self-growth and muscle growth occurs best through the inside-out approach. Remember, though, for growth to be positive, you need to work hard at maintaining the environment that helps create that growth.
Both are two of the most important investments you will ever make in your life.
Good luck!
Until next time,
Cheers & Ahoy!
The Old Cap’n Viking Pirate
Back Double Biceps Placing: 2nd in Australia
Champions practise a lot of visualisation and simulation. To create magic, you need to fuse the worlds of sanity (where you are) with insanity (where you dream/imagine you are, before you are). That is difficult. That is one of the key keys. Don’t stop. Trying. Believing. Keep on … keeping on. You’ll get there. Everyone always does. Especially, if you do it with your heart. and …. with LOVE.
Educating a top national sprinter of the importance of proper nutrition for recovery & growth for optimal performance
Eating more snacks
How good is that?!
Eating more snacks, that is. It makes us all feel good just reading that tip. Gives you some mental peace of mind, a release valve when you’re on a ‘slimming diet’ program or just contemplating the thought of going months on end saying ‘no’ to all the good food you’re used to eating.
It can be quite difficult for many to create what I refer to as your own self-imposed ‘purity bubble’ when everyone around you is consuming everything. In abundance. Yes, indeed, it can be very difficult.
The more vivid your imagination is of the image you visualize yourself to be, the less difficult it is to maintain that purity bubble. Your desire and need for this has to be greater than your need for instant gratification from temptation in the short-term. You goal (image) could be to ….
… To look and feel better about yourself at Christmas, say.
My tip of eating more snacks will assist in your journey towards this goal. Phew, finally, a nutritional tip that agrees with the majority of us! Finally, a tip that we all want to do more of and yes, the more snacks you consume, the better.
But not too fast now … there are conditions though.
There is a definite ‘mind-muscle’ connection. Train your muscles to train & exercise your brain and help it release all those necessary life-affirming hormones to flood your body … needed nutrition for the cells and soul. Try it.
there are conditions
This tip should take you less than 4 minutes flat!
Add that to the running total of my previous Top 5 Tips which was thirteen minutes.
Sum of estimated time taken to perform the Top 6 Tips = 17 minutes. A whopping 17 minutes (or 1020 seconds) out of your busy day with the goal of eating right.
Just to remind you that these Top Ten Tips to eating right also has another goal and that is to demonstrate to you that it should take you less than 30 minutes (1800 seconds) out of your day to eat right. And why is this important to you and worth your body, mind and spirit’s time? Because it is important to provide the best ‘mix’ of raw materials to the being, the machine, the energy-ball that is – YOU.
I am not going to go in to why snacking is important. I have elaborated on this in a previous blog “snacking. The more, the better”.
What I am going to do is give you a list of some good snacks you should carry with you every day before you leave the house for work, play or socialize. Whether you’re a vegetarian or an omnivore, we all still get most of our protein from the three main meals – breakfast, lunch and dinner. And, before you get the wrong idea, by snack I don’t mean cupcakes and fries!
Nope, I refer to a well-composed small meal on the run.
Your life is a continous journey of setting, failing and succeeding in goals … until you … kick the bucket! Keep moving forward, I say!
The choice of what you eat is always yours
Whilst food is analysed to shreds keep this one fact in mind for simplicity’s sake: once any form of carbohydrate is eaten (whether its fast burning or slow burning), your body converts all carbohydrates to sugar. So, from that standpoint all sources of carbs are equivalent. However, what is different from the types of snacks I will be listing below and junk choices are essential input the body needs.
Essentials such as fiber, the vitamins and minerals and some cancer-fighting phyto-chemicals found in vegetables and fruits.
At the end of the day, the choice of what you eat is always yours, but so are the level of risks attached to those choices and the consequences likely to occur to your health. Your life.
Choose wisely.
Carbohydrate (Carb) comparisons examples:
1 marshmallow = 1 medium raw carrot = 7 cups mushrooms = 420g (3 ½ cups) of broccoli = ½ cup melon = ½ orange = ¼ very small potato = 1/7 Mars Bar = 1/3 medium banana = 7 jelly beans = 14 cups fresh lettuce = 3 french fries!
Interesting calorie to volume ratios relating to just a small sample comparison, isn’t it?
The snacks below provide approximately 5g or less. If you’re hitting the weights in the gym, add a protein shake (with low carbs or no carbs) to these to ensure that you’re getting adequate levels of protein for muscle repair and growth. A serving should give you between 20g and 30g additional protein.
½ medium avocado = 1 medium carrot = 1 cup frozen spinach = 1 medium tomato = ½ cup diced eggplant = ¼ cup blueberries = ½ cup strawberries = ½ cup snap beans.
An exhaustive list of ideal snacks? No. Rightly so.
Homework for you: try to become more aware of what you’re consuming. Start measuring the food you eat. We measure everything else – how much money we spend; how much time you spend at work; what size coffee you want; buying a new pair of shoes or trousers.
Measuring is part of our every-day life. We’re constantly measuring. Why not start measuring your food intake. Buy yourself a food scale and measure your foods. Make it habit. To make it habit, repeat to remember and remember to repeat. Like a good pair of shoes, make your food ‘mix’ fit right. For you – the YOU, you want to be (in a few months perhaps).
There you have it, my 6th Tip of my series of Top Ten Tips to a better you, this summer.
If by some chance, a part of you, a part of your goal is to lose excess body fat – and for most people who suffer from insulin resistance, it is – this tip, along with the previous five and the next four will be good for you. It will offer you one of the easiest and most effective system available (through the power of habit) for doing that quickly, safely and sustainably.
Two common questions I have heard from the many hundreds of people I have helped over the last two decades is:
How quick can I lose weight and how long will it take to reach my goal?
How much food can I eat each day?
Before you seek answers to this, my tip to you is try adopting my Top Ten Tips in to your daily life. Work it in to your lifestyle. The metabolic adaptations that occurs in your body as a result of falling insulin and the increased sensitivity achieved triggers off many good things.
Your improved sensitivity to insulin will in turn increase the rate at which you burn calorie (even at rest) and you will find the new you, sooner than you think.
Every great sporting team has a great foundation – they do the basics, well. Not some of the time – all the time.
Every good professional, say, an Accountant, understands the basics of the Accrual Accounting System and applies the principles consistently. Always. This allows for complete, timely, accurate, reliable data that when analysed with other information (past and present) allows for better decision making. For the future.
This helps build a great business.
In all of my body re-engineering programs, tailored for all individuals, I stress the importance of building a good foundation, encompassed in the first “A” of my “Triple A” to Life philosophy of self-development. The ‘A” I am referring to is: AWARENESS.
I stick to the basics and get my pupils to perform them properly all the time. Most of them do. Old school training with a modern twist.
In this phase of my life, I spend a lot more time with my two kids now then I used to. I feel very fortunate that I have the opportunity to share these years these formative years with them. To help them and funnily enough, they help me a lot too.
They help increase my awareness. Of myself. Of them. And of the external environment.
This increased awareness (thanks partly to them), has got me thinking about the importance of laying a great foundation for them. Just like a great building. To help them build the loftiest buildings in the universe: their young minds and hearts, which are learning at super-speed, trying to make sense of their lives and learning how to make this world a better place in which to live.
This, I believe is the most important foundation each and every dad out there can help lay in their children:to build the greatest building (positive influence) in their hearts and minds and trying to make the world a better place.
Part of this laying of the foundation for them is to give them a clear understanding of one of the all-time great truths: that life is difficult and often unfair.Whether we like it or not, our sons and daughters may experience doubts, discouragement, loneliness, disappointment. Failure. They may be betrayed by a friend, not succeed in getting in to the university or profession of choice. Be dumped by their girlfriend or boyfriend.
Become aware, take actions (relevant & sufficient); adapt accordingly
Just like you, I know I will feel the hurt in their hearts too …
But this is all part of building a great foundation. You see, as I see it, we should not go out of our way to look for pain but we should certainly avoid pain when we can (with one exception when you’re in the gym feeling the ‘pump’ in your working muscles).
We should not just explain away moments like these – these trials and tribulations they may likely experience. They are an essential part of foundation building for a great building that they will call ‘their life’. These trials represents the capacity to build strength, maturity, courage and genuine, authentic love. It builds perseverance and resilience.
My role as a parent is relatively new. I am still learning. I know one thing, though is that as a parent, the better we get at seeing our children through these difficult times, through these trials, the better the bond. These trials will help us identify what they can do in our lives and our children’s lives, the better able we’ll be to provide stability, calmness, assurance and genuine love to our children. Even in the midst of a storm. Their trying times.
As a parent I know I have made mistakes along the way, so far. But I embrace the role with all my heart, mind and soul. Every experienced parent understands that bad behaviour in a child rarely happens with no previous signals, incidents. There are usually early signs. We just have to be aware.
I still remember hearing my grandfather say to my grandmother when referring to a relative of mine when I was a child, “be careful, you give him an inch, he’ll take a mile”.
So true, when you’re a parent.
As a parent you need to stay alert. You’re forced to increase awareness. To notice behavioural changes early and be ready to intervene in time to prevent the youngster from skidding in to serious dangerous waters ….
It is essentially ‘risk management’ and depending on the incident, an appropriate assessment of the behaviour needs to be made as to the short-term and long-term risks. Appropriate ‘intervention controls’ need to be implemented to mitigate the likely consequences likely to happen if not addressed.
Simple? Not quiet. But you have to try as a parent.
I believe, a parent’s wisdom in controlling their youngster(s) is one of the best measures of how much you really love and value her or him. The child knows this whether they say anything or not. I know my daughter does. The young boy or girl understands that his or her mother should have a hand in controlling her too. Matter of fact, both parents need to play this role – in equal share.
Children learn so much from their parents. I have found that I needed to improve my own personal standards when my children appears on the scene. Your personal examples are important and so are your rules. My wife and I have established a few rules already in our household. I get caught out sometimes, when my daughter notices ‘double standards’ in what I tell them to do and what I do. For example, I always say that a shirt has to be worn whenever we are seated at the table for a meal.
True?
Sometimes … I get reminded by her. “Dad, aren’t you forgetting something?”
“And what would that be, young lady?” I would reply.
“Your shirt”, she would state matter-of-factly.
This little point makes me think of the bigger message. The message is that – you won’t be able to sell your children any double standards on the important issues in life.
And you shouldn’t.
I have concluded that they will most likely follow what I DO and what I BELIEVE than what I SAY ABOUT these issues.
Stop trying to be the BEST DAD in the world. Be the best dad you CAN BE. Be YOURSELF. That is all your daughter or son NEEDS: the REAL YOU.
Their REAL FATHER.
You see your children does not need to believe that you are the wisest man in the world or the strongest, to count you as their father. No.
I believe that the REAL FATHER they NEED is a MAN who they can approach for answers on the important questions in life. They also need to see that you are still a ‘work-in-progress’ but that you still have the hunger to learn and grow too.
That you make mistakes too. And its ok.
They need to see that you are not narrow-minded and ‘set in your ways’. They NEED to see that you are not afraid to learn and embrace new ideas, new concepts, new paradigms, new philosophies.
Summed up in my “third A” to my “Triple A to Life”:
You could do it the healthy way or you could do it the unhealthy way. Your definition of ‘healthy’ may differ from mine, as I have found over the many years I have assessed clients’ diets.
A big part of successful body re-engineering or transformation is ensuring that you are on a ‘healthy’ diet which is aligned with your end goal in mind. Typically, before I am even given a chance to assess peoples’ diets, they usually say something along the lines of “… oh Paul, you know, I eat healthy … “ or “ … no problems with my diet. I eat healthy all the time.”
Your life. Your choice. I understand that. I accept that I cannot help everybody, but I will do my very best to reach out to the many readers (like you) around the world who take the time to read my blogs. Hopefully, each one you read adds some value to your life.
A wise man told me this over five years ago now, when he saw that I was upset for a client who sabotaged their own progress by giving in to temptation.
He said “ Paul, don’t be upset my son. You cannot save everyone. Especially those who don’t want to be saved.”
I have never forgotten that. You can only do so much.
Something that we all need to remember as we serve those around us, and particularly if you’re lucky enough to be doing what you love to do. A big bonus indeed. But, we must continue to love to serve those who love what we do, to the best we can perform them, without prejudice.
Until proven wrong.
That is just an integral part of life’s journeys. Each and every one of us’s – JOURNEY: CHOICES.
Most weight loss diet programs work. Yes. And how do we know this? Well, a pictorial representation of “ before” and “after” is normally displayed as proof of success, with a bucket load of testimonials. Wow!
Healthy? Some are. Many, are not.
There are many unhealthy ways of losing weight, too. One should not just focus on the scale and make decisions on the change of scale weight when undergoing body transformation programs. It could not only be mis-leading but also unhealthy, especially if you’re not including resistance training or weight training a pivotal part of your journey.
I’ll give you an example: I lost 5kg in absolute terms when I went on the ‘drip’ for four days when I was admitted to hospital in 2007 for a complication. Was it a healthy way to lose weight? Nope!
The worst part of losing weight in an unhealthy fashion is how it made you feel. I felt this feeling when I was in hospital for almost a week. You lose that sense of vitality. You feel weak. You don’t feel like your usual self. Essentially, you feel like cr#p!
The scale does not know that. The scale still tries to make you feel better by indicating your loss of weight. The questions you’ve got to ask yourself is:
Is this good for me? What is the risk/benefit ratio?
Is this sustainable? (Can I work it in to my life-style?)
What is the opportunity cost? Short-term and long-term?
Now, I want to get to the gist of this latest tip – Top Five of my Top Ten Tips to eating right and proving to you that it actually takes less time than you think.
Every day.
So, you’ve got this far with your body transformation. You’re either implementing my last four tips (if you’re serious about learning) or you’re still eating the way you’re eating. And wishing the excess blubber (weight) you’re carrying around your waist and butt and thighs and arms (those ‘tuck-shop’ arms ladies) would just melt away.
Melt away before summer. Before you hit the beach. Melt away so that you can fit back in to those summer shorts you wore three years ago. When you were a little smaller, perhaps.
Well, you cannot do that by sitting around and wish the excess will just ‘melt away’.
Wishful thinking!
Can you spare 2 minutes?
Well, if you’re still eating the same way and find it difficult to adopt a more ‘green’ approach. Fine. This tip requires you to just halve all meals you are currently eating. Specifically – cutting your carbohydrates in half. Yep, that’s right, half!
What are some typical sources of carbohydrates eating for breakfast, lunch and dinner and snacks, I hear some say? Examples include – bread, pasta, rice, biscuits, wraps, potatoes. Put simply, if it white-powder based, halve your consumption of it.
Easy, right? Wrong.
It will be a challenge. It won’t be easy. Why? Because habits, especially, bad habits, are very difficult to break. We now know that habits cannot be eradicated – it must instead be replaced by another (good) habit. The hard part with this intervention is the first 5 to 7 days. Allowing your body (and mind) to adjust and adapt.
Your stomach ( a smooth muscles, which also contracts and extends like other muscles) needs. You need to be strong. Its one thing having the discipline for the physical. Its another having the mental discipline to stay focused. Your stomach will shrink and you will eat less. Over time.
Give it time. Have patience.
I have found that people generally work very hard at maintaining their bad habits or habits that are less than ideal. If they only took that same focus and work and apply to the adoption of good habits that are aligned with their life goals. Maybe, just maybe, the successful attainment of their goals may be more forthcoming. It is difficult, I know – replacing habits and then sticking to it.
One of the major reasons that replacing habits does not ‘stick’ is that it is NOT ENOUGH just to REPLACE A HABIT. Nope, not enough. This is where belief comes in. You must believe change is possible. Real, sustainable change. That is one of the critical components of my unique body re-engineering programs. The power of belief. No belief, no nothing. In the photo below is an example of the successful habitual change in the successful achievement of a pupil’s physical transformation goals using the principles in my programs.
Change CAN HAPPEN. I know that because I have seen many examples over the years. Alcoholics can stop drinking. Smokers can quit puffing. You can stop ‘snacking’ at work with less than ideal snacks. Perennial losers can become champions (change can be applied to companies, clubs – like the recent NRL champions – South Sydney Rabittohs, winning a premiership after 43 years).
So, if you’re eating 4 pieces of bread for breakfast, reduce it to two. Add more of tip # 3 (eat more greens) to fill you up a little more.
There you go, a running total of 13 minutes (11 minutes from past 4 tips and add this two minute tip) to adopt these Top Ten Tips so far in your day. Can you spare thirteen minutes of your day to eating right. Do you have the time?
You bet you do!
Help yourself. First. This allows you to become more useful and a better servant to others.
Amen.
Good luck,
Until next time,
Me and one of my students who did excellent in her physique contest a few years ago. In ten months, this determined and disciplined mother of two young children went from not training for 8 years to number 2 ranked physique competitor in New South Wales, Australia. Very proud of her achievements. Consistency and persistence and focus on daily habits helped her achieve such great results. Her podium finishing results demonstrates the power of habits (aligned with goals).
Can you see “me” in my son? Can you see you in your son?
Testing the Boundaries.
I like James Bond movies.
I think I am not alone in this department. A lot of men probably love him (and most women, too). They probably love the idea of him, more than anything else.
He embodies the alter-ego of almost every man on earth. I think every man secretly harbors thoughts of playing out a James Bond fantasy act at one point in their life or another – the fast, slick car that turns heads. The constant jetting in and out of countries. The object of desire of women wherever he goes. And more …
But it’s a dream for most men. Not all, I must add.
A dream to live for.
My son – Zachary (we call him Zach or Zachie) has made me aware of many lessons in life so for. I was made aware of another ‘life lesson’ over the last two weeks. Well, he had been trying to teach me something but I stubbornly and blindly missed it for two weeks and it was only yesterday that it dawned on me.
You see my son has just turned three years old recently and I have noticed that he had been quite rebellious over the last two weeks. Well, that’s how I viewed it. That was my perception of the behavioural changes I had noticed. He wouldn’t respond when called, sometimes, even after being called multiple times. He would blatantly disobey any requests that his mum or me would make of him. He would regularly, cheekily do the exact opposite. He would test our patience with many daily situations and raise our tolerance level for disobedience.
He was and still is ‘testing the boundaries’. He was challenging our authority, questioning the norm. Fair enough!
The future and how you will live it is of paramount importance.
Children begin at a very young age to take control of their lives. Many children I suspect, just like mine, learn how to control their parents’ lives as well, long before they know how to talk in complete sentences.
Whining receives attention. Crying receives consolation. Begging begets goodies. Tantrums create havoc. It is easy to incite mummy against daddy and sit back and watch the show. Just like on TV!
All relationships have a ‘power and control’ button and just like the tide of the sea, ever-so constant, the ‘ebb and flow’ represent the delicate balance of the ‘give and take’ of the relationship.
It is the life-blood of all good long-term relationships. Learning to be a better master at managing this skill is essential to any relationship.
Anyways, I have finally learned the life lesson he was trying to make me aware of and this is where James Bond comes in. You see, James Bond always states the way he likes his martini drink, saying “shaken, not stirred’. That’s the way he likes it.
Sufficient and appropriate for that particular type of drink but not the best option when it comes to life.
Zachary’s inquisitive and rebellious behaviour these last two weeks was one that not only shook but he also stirred it. Hard. With no fear. Without order. No systematic approach adopted here. Nope!
He questioned the status quo. He challenged the way we were doing things. Our current beliefs.
You see it got me thinking about life.
This is a very important practise for everyone in life: To question over-riding theory and paradigm of the day. To question where you’re headed in your life. To reflect on the life you have lived so far, to learn whatever you can from the mistakes and failures you have experienced. But, it is the future and how you will live it that is of paramount importance.
Nope, it is your dream and ideaof the future you would love to live – now, this is what is of paramount importance.
You can only do this by firstly, questioningyour philosophy in life, in particular, questioning your ‘belief systems’ that got you to this point in life. It is your belief systems – consisting in part of, your values and principles you adhere to in your daily life, it is this that is the compass that guides you. Your GPS as you chart your course through the sea of life.
Captain of your Ship.
As Captain of your ship.
That is exactly what my son Zachary was doing.
He was questioning, through his actions and behaviour, the limitations of ‘the way we did things’ with regards to certain areas in our life (eating with his hands rather than use his utensils). He was questioning the relevance and the basis of certain beliefs we adhered to. His inquisitiveness and zest for life was stretching the boundaries we had placed on him. He was, in effect, challenging the ‘status quo’. Rocking the ship.
And its ok. It is vital. For him. For us, as a family. Asking questions and thinking of alternative solutions is vital to our country. Our world. It is through this questioning attitude that new beliefs are spawned. New ideas created. Ideas, when implemented, results in innovation. Innovation that leads to better life – better education; better health; better communities; better relationships; better quality of life.
I guess, just like any child his age, it is their imagination that drives them. Belief systems have not been imprinted on their brains yet. Belief systems have a significant impact on an individual’s life and how he/she turns out in adult life and goes as far as where he/she ‘ends up’ in life.
It is your GPS for your life.
Your thought patterns (on self-image, on self-esteem, on self-worth etc), your daily deliberate practices (habits); your character (the ‘essence’ of who YOU are) and ultimately – your ship’s course (destiny/destination) in life is dictated by your GPS (your belief system/philosophy).
To change direction of your ship. To change course, you have to re-set your GPS. You have to re-set your belief system, especially, if it has negative consequences in your life. Beliefs that inflict ‘self-imposed’ limitations on your daily life. Beliefs that were imprinted in your brain when you may have been a child, without you having a choice in accepting it. Before you could choose. These beliefs may have been im-printed by people that had some influence over you in your child-hood – your parents, your grand-parents, uncles, aunties, friends and friends of families, teachers in Primary School, coaches. You name it.
It can be quite daunting to consider all the possibilities and probabilities of risk of each relationship and the impact each had on you and your belief systems. Yes, it can be. But, it still needs to be done if you intend to reach your potential in life and chart your ship in to un-chartered waters. To discover the Captain Cook in you. You need to question their relevance, just like Captain Cook questioned the prevailing belief that the earth was flat all those centuries ago.
The risk of you not doing anything about it is far, far greater to how you live the next phase of your life, especially, the new destination you will Captain your ship to. Your new course in life.
The life you hoped for. The life you imagined.
Its never too late to sit down and write down what your philosophy of life is. What are some of your beliefs? What influence does it have on your daily actions and decisions? Be warned though – you will ‘rock your boat’. This may be a period of genuine unhappiness as you discover many things about your engine of life ( your mind) that was hindering your course through life. You will effectively be doing what my son, Zachary was doing these last two weeks. What he reminded me about some of the important things of life:
To be able to choose beliefs that contribute to life – your life, not take away from it.
In life, we all need to periodically ensure that at various stages in life, in particular, as we enter and leave major phases of life, we need to review that our GPS – our beliefs at that point in life, be questioned. We need to question their relevance. Why? Because beliefs, whether you’re aware of it or not, generates what happens in your life. You need to stop continuing believing what does not serve you. What may have been relevant for survival as a toddler or as a teenager or when you were in your twenties, may not be relevant in your forties or post-retirement.
A wise man once told me that if you continue to think and act in the same way, you will continue to get the same result in life.
The foundation of this can be only be done through beliefs analysis. And we know how important a good foundation is to any building or construction work to keep it up and steady.
A relatively easy way of doing this is assessing the impact each belief has on you and your life, once you’ve listed your top ten down on paper. It takes a lot of courage just to do this. Don’t be scared.
We need to re-imprint new, relevant beliefs into our minds. We need to upload a new, improved GPS on to our brains. To help make us better Captains of our ships in the sea of life. As one of the greatest men that ever lived once said:
“The same thinking that has led you to where you are is not going to lead you to where you want to go.” – Albert Einstein.
We need to become a child again. Imagine more, like Einstein encouraged. Imagine better but also imagine responsibly.
My wife insists that I am the biggest stirrer she has ever known. True. But so is James Bond. Oh well, I’ll have to leave that one for another blog.
In the meantime, you need to ensure that at various legs of your charter and captaincy of life, that your consumption of the ‘fluid/drink of life’ is –
…. Shaken and stirred! Very un-like James Bond.
But, that’s perfectly alright. Some dreams are not realistic anyway. Accept it.
That’s life.
Bottoms up!
Thank you, Zachary.
Until next time,
p.s.. thank you too for reading this far … I hope you’ve got some value from this blog.
WHY NOT … paint my chin-beard, purple, I thought? My children were not impressed … ha ha ha!!
Tip # 4: Take your Nuts with you, wherever you go!
Total estimated time taken out of your day = approx. 10 minutes (as detailed in my previous blogs) –
Represented by:
Time to perform Tip # 1= 5 min
Time to perform Tip # 2 = 3 min
Time to perform Tip # 3 = 2 min
So, hopefully you are trying to incorporate the first 3 tips I have shared with you in my previous blogs. Also, hopefully, you are slowly being convinced about my subject heading.
With this tip (#4), adding nuts to your day is a fantastic ‘snack’ option. Like I have mentioned in a previous blog, ‘snack’ does not need to be a euphemism for junk food. Snacking can be healthy too and should be encouraged for many good reasons.
What do you need to do?
Eat nuts but don’t go nuts on it!
All you need is a handful. Actually, we all have different size hands so I will be more specific – eat less than or equal to 30g of nuts. Some good nuts to choose from include: walnuts, almonds, cashews, peanuts and macadamias.
Quick snacks on the run should still ideally provide high-quality protein with a controlled amount of carbohydrate. This handful roughly provides between 4g and 7g of Protein and Carbohydrates and vary from nut to nut.
Time taken to perform this Tip # 4 in the mornings is approximately 1 minute. Yep, only 60 seconds. So, the running total for the 4 tips so far is approximately equal to 11 minutes. Eleven minutes out of your busy day!
Just to eat right.
A good snack. Berries are a wonderfully tasteful treat.
Good Fats.
My aim is to show you how my Top Ten Tips to eating right should take you less than 30 minutes of your day. Why is this eating tip worth your time and of great value to your body, you may ask?
Well, it provides ‘good fats’ to your body. Yep, not all fats are ‘bad’, but you know that. Your body needs fats to survive and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. There are some vital minerals and vitamins that are fat soluble only.
For example, vitamins A, D, E and K are some such vitamins. So, these essential vitamins are only assimilated in to your body as nutrients in the presence of fat.
Even for those of you reading this blog that have started or are planning to commence your ‘get fit for summer’ training program, understand that losing fat is assisted when you provide the body with fat. Good fats, that is.
That’s correct – you need fat to burn fat!
Good fats provide many benefits such as omega – 3 fatty acids that elevates good cholesterol or High Density lipo-proteins (HDL). Why is this important? Well, this lowers your risk of heart disease as blood is more malleable, that is, blood is made thinner, hence flows better to keep you alive.
Good fats from nuts also provide joint protection. This is vital for those of you who work out in the gym with weights – like me. Having nuts in your diet allows better recuperation for inflamed joints, stiffness and swelling. You’ve got to be nuts not to include them in your diet after reading this.
It should also be noted that these good fats are found in cold water fish such as salmon, tuna and mackerel and plant-based foods such as flaxseeds and soyabeans. Reach out and grab them and add these sources to your diet.
To dig deep, you have to dig deep.
Nuts come in many sizes.
The average person does not eat adequate daily amounts of these good fats, probably less than 1g per day. Carrying around two or three servings of nuts with you in your busy day does not take much time to consider and provides great value to your body, mind and vitality.
Nuts come in many sizes but are essentially small and convenient enough to eat ‘on the run’. Here’s an old Uni riddle: What do you call nuts on a wall? Yep, walnuts. So go for walnuts. There’s no excuse!
We’re on track to prove that Eating right actually takes less time than you think. So far, a grand total of 11 minutes out of your day to apply my Top Four of my Top Ten Tips to get you in Tip-Top Shape this summer.
You’re now Aware. Apply Action. Adapt accordingly.
My Triple A philosophy to self-development.
Thank you for reading.
Until next time,
Do you strive to better yourself in every way? Are you a Leader?
Changing lives. Empowering people. One life at a time. 
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