Monthly Archives: March 2014

life, needs

Hap … Happy … Happiness …

Are you happy? Well, are you?

I’m sure every one who reads this and everyone on this planet has thought about this at one point or another in their life. So, are you? How do you know? Well, I guess, you could identify things or events or people that make us happy quite easily but seriously, are you happy?

What is happiness anyway? It’s one of those questions that many philosophers and thinkers have wrestled with for centuries. Is it something that is intrinsic – coming from within, somewhere deep within us, our souls, our spirits maybe or is it something that comes from without – external from us, our environment? Some of you may argue both makes you happy.

Hang on, lets look at it again. Is happiness the same thing as being ‘happy’? I don’t think so but I am not going to try and explain that one in this blog. Investigate that for yourself. See what you find. Someone wise once said something to the effect that the very pursuit of happiness is in itself, futile. Happiness could be said to be something that brings you pleasure, but even this cannot ever be a sufficient enough condition of happiness. Many cannot differentiate between genuine and authentic pleasure and fake or inauthentic pleasure. The former brings about a memory of fulfiment, like, say, the enduring love of a special friend, compared to the fake-pleasure of a drug, for example.

In our society, happiness, may be seen as the desire for and acquisition of material goods and services. However, could this be a ‘happiness party-pauper’? Is wanting too much making everyone feel less happy? Some of the poorest nations of the world have their citizens being the happiest – countries like Fiji, Costa Rica etc. Where does your country sit on the happiness scale? Maybe the western world can learn a thing or two about the beliefs and philosophies of these people, where maybe, in terms of material possessions – less is sometimes more.

Is it possible that, in the more developed countries like ours, happiness is hard to find and keep because of the insatiable desire to buy stuff, yep stuff. All that ‘stuff’ that fills up garages and storerooms, inevitably creating more and more clutter in one’s lives and minds. Stuff we don’t really need, buying them just to make us happy. More and more of everyones’ leisure and ‘family time’ seem to be taken up by the employer, mounting up more hours in meaningless jobs to buy consumer goods. Consumer goods that we are lied to by smart marketers and advertisers, making us buy, buy, buy … brain-washing us to believe that the possession of these goods will ‘bring you happiness’. What a load of you know what! Consumerism itself maybe the golliath that needs to be floored by a brave individual, before happiness is revealed.

You could try these 3 things to help you get closer to happiness:

  • Find your ‘authentic self’
  • Don’t fill your time on weekends maintaining a carpet of grass or renovating kitchens and bathrooms or the like
  • Do spend your time ‘filling your mind’ with mental nutrition

Firstly, I would suggest, you try to be more self-aware. Then, of course, do your very best to meet all your needs and then with whatever resources you have, you may seek to get some of your wants satisfied. Not the other way ‘round. We all allow and see the goods we have as an extension of ourselves like the car you drive, and watch you wear. We then commit more and more hours to the drudgery of work to pay for it all. But how much is enough? Will having more ‘bling’ than your neighbours bring you closer to being happier? Does the acquisition of these stuff make you feel more successful as a human being and less of a failure?

Let me ask you a question: Do you think the very rich are the happiest? I would argue that may be they aren’t. Why? Well, one of the reasons maybe because, they’re always trying to be the richest. Its like a bodybuilder trying to be the guy with the biggest muscles – almost impossible, because, just around the corner, there is always someone bigger, or soon-to-be bigger, rising up the ranks. Everywhere you turn, there is somebody bigger. Endlessly disappointing. It can drive people crazy!

Someone once told me that ‘bigger isn’t necessarily better’ and I think the same can be said about richness.

However, here’s a little secret: try viewing your finite life, each of the 86,400 seconds in a day from now on, from your death-bed’s view. I think you would come to conclude ‘happiness’ would include most if not all those ‘moments’ – points in time, that are free from the trappings of money or status and filled with authenticity.

Capture and treasure those ‘moments’ forever.

Here’s to you finding your authentic self: to hap … happy … happiness.

Until next time …

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body, Energy, life, time, Vitality

Vitality – the essence of life.

My blog name is Valentine Vitality.

Unlike my surname, I adopted the word Vitality not only because it flows off the tongue quite smoothly when used with Valentine, but mainly because I love the word “Vitality”.

Vitality is such a beautiful word. It is all encompassing, like the word heaven. Vitality is the essence of life itself.

A quick reference to the internet and you will find many sub-meanings but I particularly like these two:

  1. the capacity to live, grow or develop and
  2. the principle or force that distinguishes living things from non-living

It also represents ‘energy’. Most of us can be accused of doing our very best to better manage our time. We have been constantly reminded since we were in school of the importance of becoming better time managers. Thousands of books are written every year telling us how to manage our time better, with us wiry-eyed taking notes about how to manage our 86,400 seconds in a day, better, from the many management gurus out there. Does this really help?

In some instances, yes. But in most, I believe – no.

Why? Simply because we are following a paradigm or philosophy that is flawed and  we continuously allow ourselves to be bombarded with views from so-called ‘experts’. We should mainly view our daily life not in terms of how ‘busy’ I am and how great I am at managing ‘my time’. No, instead, I believe, we should adopt a more important paradigm/philosophy as more paramount and start a revolution to become better managers of our energy.

Yes, energy.

What is more important than becoming better at time management – it is becoming better at ‘energy management’ which brings you closer to managing your ‘vitality’ or ‘charge’ or ‘life-force’ within you. To do this, you need to find your ‘re-charge point’, your place of serenity. I find mine in the gym. Some may find it in the garden. Others spending time crocheting or with their cars. Those of you who have something, hang on to it. Those of you who don’t, it is imperative for your life, to find it and start re-charging. All things need re-charging. If your mobile phone and computer need it. So do you, my friend!

Everything in your life, either adds to or steals from your vitality, your life force. Be aware of this, diligently.

I once read that if you love life, life will love you back.

You see, I have seen them, so perhaps have you.

People who love life, with bright eyes, taut skins and great smiles. They look as if they have been freshly scrubbed or newly minted, exuding the very definition of Vitality.

How do they do it?

Partly through respect for their bodies, spirit, thoughts and deeds.

You see, Vitality, does not seem to be as objective as weight, exercise, diet etc. It is more subjective. It seems to come from within and rather intrinsic rather than achieved through outwardly efforts(extrinsic).

When you find one of these people with that glow, ask them their secret. Then, contact me please, and tell me all about it.

If a few readers of this blog do this, we might be able to deduce the magic formula worth more than a rainbow’s pot of gold.

Become part of that search, today.

Best of vitality to you!

 

Until next time …

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a better life, action, adaptation, awareness, Beliefs, better choices, consciousness, decisions, examined life, game of life, habits, Imagination, leadership, life, long-term perspective, long-term strategy, perspective, respect, responsibility, you

Plant your Oak Tree

The Oak – 7 x Mr Olympia, Arnold Schwarzennegger

Don’t just be any tree, be an Oak Tree

Have you ever thought of the Oak Tree?

I have. Thing is .. I like Trees.

Very early in life when my fascination with muscle and bodybuilding began, I learned that the great Arnold Schwarzenegger was nick-named “The Oak”. Just like the oak tree – big, enduring, aesthetically balanced and strong through the course of time, it weathered all types of weather. Oak trees can live up to 300 years old. The Oak Tree got me thinking about life…. how, maybe, we should not just be any tree, but … be an Oak Tree.

Imagine for a second what would it feel like to plant an Oak Tree?

Now, the actual planting of the tree would obviously give you a lovely feeling at that point in time. I mean, there is not a chance in the world you would be around to see the little seed grow in to the magnificent tree that it is to be. They live up to 300 years!

Now, imagine, one may be two hundred years on, some person may look up and admire its beauty and grandness but would never even think of you – of the person who made a conscious choice to plant that little seed in place. No one would thank YOU. No one would remember you for it. So, why would you even consider doing it then?

How would such an irrational action give you so much pleasure?

The Best decisions are always made with a  bit of irrationality … a bit of heart inclusion.

Well, there are many reasons, but I believe that maybe, just maybe, more of our decisions in life should be made with the Oak Tree in mind. I think we need to look at our life from a different perspective – a ‘long-term perspective’, from the perspective of the Oak Tree. Yep, the tree.

I think we should be making decisions that matter in life just because it seems right. At that point in time and would seem right in the days that you depart this beautiful planet. We need to make decisions from the Oak Tree’s view, one that is a long-term perspective.

Feel the interconnectedness of everything
Live 4 2day

To have an “Oak decision” means to make a decision with a long-term perspective

Ask yourself this question: how many areas in the rest of your life that has the ‘Oak Tree’ view or longer-term perspective?

Most people live their lives looking for short-term or quarterly business results; the next season’s trends, gadgets and fashion; the next season’s flowers or at best a crop or business investment that would have a two or three year pay-off. I understand that. It is a fact of life. However, why is it that the best and great family businesses have a more longer-term view or perspective in mind, always.

Well, from my small research in to longevitiy of businesses, typically, the founding business owners would make decisions that would have their children or grandchildren reap the benefits. Not necessarily, them. Their business growth, expansion, their bigness comes down to one of perspective, one of long-term strategy, taking the Oak Tree perspective. Something which, in today’s world most businesses find it so hard to cultivate.

This applies to individuals too. Like you, too. To have an Oak Decision meanse to make a decision with Long-term perspective. For example, when I picked up my first set of weights, I knew that I would include the weight training as a part of my whole life but I was also going to be ont he world stage competing against the best bodybuilders in the world.

I made my decision with a long-term perspective … an Oak Tree approach. I gave myself 10 years.

I got to 2 x World Competitions.

Me my extended family members; a group of members of my family gym.
They all loved training and being part of the extended family that was my gym
Relationship take time to develop .. just like an Oak Tree needs time to grow

There is no such thing as “Lay-By” these days

The short-term perspective is all around us – everywhere.

It is a disease of the modern age, but just like most diseases, it can be managed or better still, cured.

Instant gratification, that is. People don’t seem to practise delayed gratification anymore. There is no such thing as a “Lay-by” these days, when purchasing a product/want. People want new version of products now and pay for it immediately too. Great for business, but what does it say about the direction society is heading?

Lets have a look at politicians, for example.

Modern politicians live with constant need to win the next election, which is on average, two or three years away, if they are not ambushed out of government by their own before election day. However, parties that have better intrinsic values take office to decide on policies which may not produce results for ten years or more. Lets hope our politicians are adopting this Oak Tree perspective.

Most religions believe in life after death of some sort. Christianity believes in life after death. Maybe, it is the Christian way and message to live and make decisions now, so that others may benefit later …. So that there is life, after your life is gone, there is life – others’ lives after your death.

Imagination is power, as the saying goes … but I don’t fully agree with that statement –

I say –

“Knowledge is potential power. Applied knowledge is power’

… so try and imagine planting your Oak tree or trees today that represent your decisions in all areas of your life … and feel great about it. Not only just because it feels right for you, now but it is the right thing to do for your future generations.

Plant your Oak Tree, today!

Until next time …

Have a long-term perspective on decisions you make in life

Cheers & Ahoy!!

 

The old Cap’n Viking Pirate … & making decision with the long-term view in mind

 

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Energy

Same but different.

Finding good teachers in life is like finding a needle in a haystack. Its difficult to find. Improbable but not impossible. In your life so far, you have had many teachers, even before you had a choice with some of them. Some included your parents, your grandparents, your pre-school and kindergarten teachers, your primary and high school teachers, aunties, uncles, neighbours and so on. I can confidently say that you would be hard-pressed to name more than one or two that were really good at teaching. Why don’t you try counting. Even parents can be very bad teachers. Try and give them an honest, objective assessment if you dare. This is one of the reasons why you should always assess and question why you do things the way you do as it could be based on a belief system that had been imprinted in your brain by the many incompetent teachers in your life so far, as they did not entertain other truths or did not know any better for whatever reason. They spoke in absolutes.

Change in belief system ==> change in attitude ( due to change in perception) ==> change in choices/actions ==> change in habits ==> change in character ==> change in your destiny and where your ship ends up in life.

I have had many teachers in many areas of life in my life so far and I can confidently say that in my undergraduate years at University, I qualify only one lecturer was a good. Incidentally, over 20 years on we are still friends and still communicate. Having a good teacher can save you time. Lots of time and it does not matter which area of life it is. It can save you money and it can certainly lower risks of failure and it could save your life. First, I think the student needs to be aware of where he wants to go and what he would like to achieve. There is a saying “the teacher arrives when the student is ready”. There is a truth to that, I think. The universe conspires to manifest its reality for you if you so desired.

This favourite teacher of mine used to have a habit of saying something that contained two words that meant the opposite of each other. For example, when explaining a concept he would utter – ‘now this law is simple but difficult’ or ‘what this individual did was bad but good simultaneously’. Years after I graduated, I caught up with him for a drink at a bar and I asked him why he spoke like that. His answer had a profound impact on me and my life since then. Here’s what he said.

There are no complete truths. No one can speak on any one topic in this world with 100% certainty that what he thinks or speaks is completely definitive. Everything is relative and we should not speak in absolutes. There is a duality, a ying and yang, like night is to day, to everything in life. Our challenge, he said is to find that balance, in our journey through life.

Become the best teacher you can be because the only history you have total control of is your history while you are alive, not your ancestors’ history. Yours! You have control of how you interpret the truth of your reality as you live your life, from ‘your own eyes’. Your perception is your reality.

I asked him, what is the one thing that could help me become a better teacher. He said, “Paul, become a better storyteller”. Write your history.

The world needs more storytellers. The world needs more dreamers. Storytelling harnesses imagination and imagination is the gate to most powerful thing you have: your subconscious mind. Some may call it: your spirit. Your soul.

You can be the same as everyone else but make a difference with your storytelling, your imagination. Become a better storyteller and write YOUR history, from your perception. Its your life, after all and it ain’t a dress rehearsal. If you don’t, someone else will write if for you, from their eyes, their perception.

Enjoy being the same but different. Appreciate your difference and make a difference to your world. Its ok to be a simple, but complex individual.

Imagination is potential power. Believe it so.

Start dreaming and … untap your potential today!

Until next time …. 

 

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body, life, mind

Be more selfish. For you. For your life.

I have asked the following question in many of my prior blogs. Matter of fact, I started the blog before the very last one I did with the question: “Do you love, you?” Well, do you? Do you really? I am going to challenge you to that.

So before we answer that, firstly lets ask ourselves “who are you?” If I may, I could answer it one way: you’re composed of many things, but fundamentally YOU can be said to be composed of body, spirit and mind.

The first is yours to feed and maintain up-keep. The second, rather intangible, a lot of people struggle with feeding and maintaining up-keep. We’ll elaborate on this in a later blog. The third is truly yours. Yours to feed and manage. Completely.

Back to my question at the start. I have always wondered that if everyone did indeed, love himself/herself, then why is it then that they seem to rate their own judgement of themselves below that of others? How is that so? Have you asked yourself that question? Why do you have more respect for what your neighbors think of you than you have of yourself?

So, do you love yourself – all body, spirit and mind? If you did then I think you would not even consider what your neighbors thought of you or any less than you thought of yourself. Its because of this, that I ask if you really love yourself. I think we have to try to define what love is first. How would you define it? We can all see it in action all around us – see kids with their pets, observe couples holding hands down the street, notice the gift-giving looks during Valentine’s Day. We all know elements of what we think love is. I looked up the definition of it in the book that knows all the answers: the Bible. Love is defined as “ … patient, .. kind … does not envy .. does not boast. It is not proud and not rude. Not self-seeking and not easily angered. It does not revenge and always protects, always trusts .. hopes. Never fails [1 corinthians, ch. 13]. I can confidently predict that we’re all failures, some with a capital F!

Now, can you honestly say that you love yourself in that manner. Not me. Does not mean that I don’t try but I fail on some aspect almost every day. Like I said in a previous blog, you might as well succeed through failure. Don’t stop trying. Aim to love yourself more, each and every day, through your body, spirit and mind. So, how do you know if you love you?

When you’re being selfish!

Yep, I know this will come as a bit of a shock as it goes against everything we have been taught and learned in our lives thus far, regarding the necessity of altruism. We all succeed with this definition of love, we all handsomely succeed. We’re all champions at being selfish. So, from this standpoint, don’t give prominence to what you’re neighbors think of you. Do you agree?

My challenge and homework for you is every time you do something that you think is selfish, take note and tally it in a book over a week. Ask yourself, does my definition hold true to varying degree. Don’t fret about your tally. It confirms that you love the most important person in the world: YOU.

One more challenge: become more selfish.

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