Monthly Archives: February 2014

life, mind

A lunch date that could change your life.

Know anyone that is and has been down on his/her luck?

For a while. For a long while, maybe.

Someone, who, we probably don’t think about when we give away to charity, maybe in the envelope at church or someone, we don’t give a second of thought about when we give our ‘loose change’ to a street beggar as we walk by, flipping those gold coins in to his box.

What if I said that the most intelligent person I ever knew so far told me once that there is no secret to success, no hidden pot of gold.

I was baffled.

I asked him about the proliferation of ‘get rich’ books, seminars, talks etc that has flooded the market and he said that you can learn lessons from them to lower your risks by not repeating their mistakes. However, the very pursuit of success is futile, he said.

I was baffled.

Disputed a lot I had learned to that point in my life, to that point. He then said that if I wanted to find out the secret to success in life, go ask one of the many street beggars out to an expensive lunch and ask him about all the decisions he made in life to that point. Take notes. And then make sure you don’t make those same mistakes.

Thank him for his time.

I did not have to look very far. I found a distant family member, down on his luck. Had been down on his luck for a few decades. Did what my wise old friend said, I took him out to an expensive and tasty lunch. A fulfilling lunch date. Had a great meal.

We can define success in many ways. I don’t know what yours is but this is one way of discovering a plausible pathway to your success in your life. Even if you did not want to take out a ‘down and out’ person to lunch, just try taking someone you respect and admire out to lunch just to enjoy their company. They could be very successful in their respective field. Or not. Even if you don’t think you could gain anything in that experience, take the risk. No risk, no – nothing! Just enjoy that person’s company during lunch and put both ears to the test. You may just learn something. Be as open-minded as you can and try to really listen. Try to frame your mind in to their frame of mind. That little something that you may learn may come at that point or a day later or a month later or may come many years later.

Don’t rush it. Don’t think too much.

I learned a few things on that lunch date. Had a few enlightened ‘moments’. I have found that enlightened moments and the most useful thoughts tend to come to you when you are not thinking. You need to unthink to think. That something may come to you, then. That something just may change your life forever.

That lunch date changed my life, a little. For the better. Hope yours does, too.

Until next time …

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life, mind

Two ears. One mouth. Practice Re-Framing.

Do you listen well? How do you know? I heard someone say once that you have two ears and one mouth, use it in that ratio. How many of you honestly do? Its all part of being a great communicator. Do you try to project yourself through ‘active listening?’. What is that anyway? After introducing yourself to someone, do you become a listener or do you just take over the conversation and well, get them to listen? I know I have been guilty of that. Have you? Listeners tend to know that they learn a great deal while talkers learn nothing.

Do you draw the other person ‘out’ in your conversation with him/her? Do you ask for examples or ask to explain things in another way, a more simpler way? Do you give feedback and try to reiterate what you learned. Did you know that by doing so, by actually, genuinely giving your ears to someone and really listening, you give the best communication gift of all: paying value to others.

You see, this idea of communication boils down to one thing: attitude. An attitude of the mind. An attitude that can become a whole way of life, if you make it. Let me elaborate …

When you make the other person’s interest first, when you have someone else’s interest at heart, not just your own, the other person can sense it. You could call it a sixth sense. Everyone, whether you know it or not, have their own individual frequencies, and telegraph or communicate what’s really going on, on the inside, on the outside. Not even the best actor can hide it. So, when people know that you’re listening to them because your attitude is service-oriented, not self-oriented, people can read it loud and clear. The opposite is also true, as people can get an uneasy feeling when they talk with a person who has only his own interests in mind and not theirs. Ask yourself one question: who do you trust more – someone who listens to you or someone who forces their viewpoints and opinions on to you?

To improve listening to the words of others, try to frame your mind as theirs. We can call this re-framing. Try ‘seeing’ it from the other person’s viewpoint, the other person’s frame-of-view. Re-frame your mind in to the other person’s frame-of-mind. Some people call this empathy.

You could sum up by saying: say more, with less. But throw away the ‘old frame’ (opinions and belief system you have adopted even before you were old enough to think and question the basis of and ….)

…. begin with a new frame – a new belief system. You re-frame your mind … your thoughts … your attitude … to improve your communication skills and ultimately, communicate more effectively. To others. To you.

Re-frame. One thought at a time.

So re-frame your mind, my friends. Two Ears. One Mouth. Use them in that ratio.

Until next time …

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life, self-image, you

Fight or Flight?

Do you love YOU? Do you really, given that it is that time of the year – Valentine’s Day, where everyone demonstrates their love for another? Do you accept YOU? Do you really? “How do you mean?” you say.

Well, exactly as I mean. It is when you come to the realisation that you are many. You are also, one. It is when you bring all violence you do you yourself – to YOU, to a stop. Where you decide to love yourself more. Or, it is when you stop violence towards others by eliminating your own insecurities and inadequacies on to them, and in turn, demonstrating higher love for them.

Do you fight or flight from the most important person in the world to you: YOU?

Stop running from you. Don’t flight no more. Turn around. Look at the person you see in the mirror and ask what lies behind those eyes (refer to an earlier blog of mine with this title for further words on this). You are one but you are also one with the universe. Out of the wrongs and evil that has happened to you, good has come of it, too. Notice that.

Do you take everything as they are or do keep quiet, repress feelings and thoughts because of the fear, the fear that once you accepted these ‘things’ in your life, that you will be overpowered. This fear causes you to freeze up or flight/run. How about if I told you that this fear may not be true at all.

So, if you fear and choose to flight, flight reality, don’t. Stop!

Change strategy.

Choose your battles in the most important game you will play in life – in your life. And what is this game, I hear you say? Well, simply, the ‘game of life’. Yep, resolve within you, the real YOU, to firstly play the game of life and then become a better player. Become the best player you can be and don’t flight, but fight. Yes, fight. It is worth it – your life, that is.

Start with YOU, by loving you more.

Play the game of life: become better at life, and life will get better for you.

Become more self aware. Become more receptive to whatever comes your way – good or bad, rain or sunshine, night and day, forever alternating. In and out like the tides, knowing that you should accept you, through the good times and the bad, accepting your nature, your being and your positive and negatives sides. You may notice that you will be filled with an increased sense of vitality … that essential life-force and everything will become more alive to you.

Don’t be a fool.

Don’t try to force everything to go according to the way you thought it ought to. Don’t use force though. Use Power.

Fight and use Power, not Force – ALWAYS (refer to an earlier blog of mine regarding choosing Power or Force in life).

Fighting with Power is the only option. This is a higher love for you, and the universe.

Until next time …

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a better life, attitude, authenticness, Beliefs, better choices, change, courage, ego, Energy, examined life, game of life, gratitude, happiness, life, long-term perspective, love, perseverance, responsibility, self love, spiritual balance sheet, spirituality, success, time, truths, you, your life

Is the grass green on the other side?

Greener grass anyone?

Greener grass anyone?

Change your philosophy, change your life.
Vv.

Envy

How much do you earn?

Is it enough for you? Do you wonder if your friends, neighbours or family are earning more than you? Do you secretly covet what your neighbours’ drive; what house they live in? I wonder …. Is the grass greener on the óther side?”

How do they do it? What do they do to make so much money and wealth? How can you learn their secrets, you wonder. Should you change jobs or see if the grass is greener on the other side. What word could sum up this way of thinking, I wondered. I think a good word would be: Envy.

Some argue that envy is the root of all evil.

Some argue that envy is what spurs on economic growth. Well and good in a capitalist society. My question is how much growth is enough? I must admit that I, along with many others have been charmed by “overnight success Rags-to-riches stories” and the wealth of the very rich.  You’re bombarded with examples on social media, on-line and in magazines and papers.

The simple things in life are often the best

The outward display of success seem so appealing that it’s pretty easy to fall for those less-than-subtle advertising ploys touting fancy foreign engineering (like cars) or architectural wonders of some luxury house.

Gee, even in church we sometimes focus on the trappings – lavish sanctuary, fine pipe organs, plush carpeting and so forth.

It seems the advertising industry is the machine that uses this belief as its fuel: Envy. Most in the western world have been have been prisoners in the tyranny of consumer culture. Programmed with advertising, movies, video games, magazines, tv and MTV from the cradle. They say by the time a child in our western world reaches the age of 21, he or she would have watched and/or listened to a million ads.

Now, that is a lot of noise and clutter for the brain, and you wonder why the fastest growing disease is mental disease.

It is certainly great for business, because more growth is better for everyone, for the sake of capitalism.

De-clutter your brain of all that noise built up from early childhood clouding your thoughts.
Delete and stop contributing to the bottom-line of ‘bullshit’
Work on managing your funnel better. Don’t be part of the horribly growing stat

 

Try Harder = more success?

The theory is that if people are unhappy which has resulted because people were envious or jealous, people generally tend to TRY HARDER. Does it work that way with you? Or do you pull others down rather than raise your standards and climb up to theirs? Do you just wrap yourself in self-righteous misery when you cannot complain anymore about the unfairness of life?

If you are a believer in Christ and very wealthy, remember not to leave God our of your life. It is said that – without understanding, you are like the beasts that perish. Your power, influence and wealth won’t carry weight now but will not matter one zilch, in eternity.

I know you know this already.

A neuron example & its network of dentrites

Nature of Wealth

Do you read the annual publications of Rich Lists? Where do you stand? What do your friends make? Do they make more than you? How does it make you feel? Does it make you happy or miserable? I dare say that it must make more people unhappy than happy. The thing is, it shouldn’t be. You see, there is a finite nature to wealth ….

Do you wonder those “what if “ scenarios like the price you may have got in on a certain share/stock or what if you had sold your car or business at a better price by waiting a little longer or if you had not left that job? I’m sure you have thought about certain things in your life this way too. We all have. Does this make your life better or worse?

In this life the wealthy often inspire awe, admiration and praise. Be happy for them, don’t envy. This adulation will be short-lived. The possessions that are the basis of their pride and self-aggrandizement will not serve past ‘six-feet under (the grave)”.

Allow your mind to ”connect’ with infinite intelligence.
With consciousness.
It is like nothing you’ve ever experienced before.

Contentment (genuine) brings you closer to the elusive Happiness

Maybe we should resolve not to begrudge others their success or good luck in life. Maybe we should resolve to be happy for them. To genuinely wish them well with it.

Maybe we should see that the grass is not always greener on the other side of the fence. No, not always. Maybe we should not yearn for the grass on the other side.

Maybe.

Maybe it would be easier to sail your ship through the sea of life by looking ‘straight ahead’ instead of looking over your shoulder at the other ships (other people).

Maybe, just maybe you will find contentment and move a little closer to everyone’s elusive ‘happiness’ goal, if you stopped coveting the wealth and treasures of the very wealthy. I believe – being content, genuinely content, is one of the surest ways of moving close to happiness. It is a process by which you also move to another consciousness level. Ask yourself how content (genuinely content) are you with everything in your life?

 

Be content with where you are and what you have achieved to get this far.
Appreciate what I refer to as your ‘reverse bucket list’ and have an attitude of gratitude.
This is a key ingredient to moving towards genuine happiness

Change your colour, change your life

I know one thing for sure: being less envious and accepting that ‘the grass is not always greener on the other side’ would make your life less depressing.

No, I am going to take it further and suggest that maybe, we should trying viewing the colour of grass not as green or greener but viewing it as another colour (another view/philosophy).

Change your colour (philosophy). Find the right colour. Change your life – for the better.

For me, the colour is a combination – black with a touch of red.

What’s your new colour?

Then ….

Ask God to teach you to help you find and guide you with your perspective on life … to learn to live always, not for this life only, but with “ëternity’s values in view.”

One way to know YOU is to understand God.
God is in you.
God is you.

I’ll hopefully, see and chat to you in heaven when our time in this third dimension is done and dusted!

Until next time.

Cheers and a big ahoy to you on your journey through the maize of life!

 

The old Cap’n Viking Pirate … & thoughts on envy, contentment and happiness in life.

Appreciate beauty. Find your truth. Create your beauty if you can. Usually, beauty and truth does not involve wealth, growth, mass and material possessions.
It is counter-intuitive, but to find your beauty, your truth … LESS IS MORE.

 

Eliminate and de-clutter the ‘noise’ that has been uploaded in to your brain since the cradle

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